BGO E35 - Before & After: When You’ve Built a Life Around Being Who You’re Not

This episode is a bit of a deep dive, and a long overdue one. I’ve been sitting in a space of reflection lately, trying to make sense of the before and after of my life. Not the shiny, curated “before and after” you see in gym photos… but the emotional, soul-level shift of what happens when you stop living a life that looks good on the outside and start living one that feels right on the inside.

In this episode, I’m sharing what it was really like to come out late in life, not just as a lesbian, but as me. What it felt like to live a life that ticked all the boxes but left me feeling empty, bone-tired, and disconnected from my own skin. I talk about the anger I carried, the shame I buried, and the constant push to be someone I wasn’t… all in the hope of being accepted.

But I also talk about the shift. The grief and fear that came with unraveling that life. The slow, quiet moments of stepping into my truth. And the lightness—oh my god, the relief—that followed.

This is for you if you’ve ever found yourself wondering, “What if I built my whole life being someone I’m not?” If you’re in that before stage, where something doesn’t quite fit and you can’t unsee it anymore. Or if you’ve already started that journey and you’re navigating the messy middle. You’re not too late. You’re not broken. And you’re not selfish for wanting more.

I hope this episode reminds you that you’re allowed to change. You’re allowed to grow. And you are 100% allowed to be you—even if you’re still figuring out who that is.

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