November 15, 2024 • 26 mins
Summary:
In this shorter, more intimate setting, Edith and Michael sit next to each other in a Toyota hybrid while they wax philosophical about the difference between humanity, people, and divine beings. They share about their lives (such as daily habits and relationship dynamics) and spend a good thirty minutes being real with each other.
Sorry for the lack of sound bites and chapters, but this impromptu recording and editing session didn't allow for the fringe benefits of additional software.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
It's only $7 it won't break the bank.
(00:08):
I'm not even thinking about that.
Oh my God.
Okay that was better than I thought it was going to be.
Hello Rita.
Hi.
How you doing?
I'm better now than I'm with you.
It's such a healing process just talking.
It really is.
And we have been talking actually face to face.
This is the first time we have recorded.
(00:29):
We are in the same space.
We are not separated by two screens, miles apart.
And I have to say, and I've been telling everybody this,
you give the greatest hugs.
Oh thank you.
You're welcome.
They're genuine.
Yes.
From the heart.
I could tell.
It was like you were throwing everything you could into it.
(00:51):
I have a friend of mine who also gives really good hugs of promise.
He's a lot shorter than I am.
He gave me a hug last night and he almost like dislodged my Adam's apple
because his arm went up so high.
Ace if you're out there I love you.
We couldn't not meet up and do an episode of the podcast.
Exactly.
I think both of us had a lot of stuff on our hearts that we just wanted to
(01:16):
just like get off our chest.
I feel like we've reached that good friendship level of talking.
We have like a moment doesn't pass where there's any kind of feeling
or thinking adversely about one another.
We definitely are a team.
Yeah.
Yeah, definitely.
And I mean you came at me with some problems that you've been having.
(01:40):
And you know, I listened and gave my opinion.
And what came out of that is I think is what's going to make today's podcast
a good short one.
You know, we don't really want to do a full hour.
We both have things to do with that.
We've got places to go back home.
People.
People to see, people to deal with.
We came across something that I've been saying for years.
(02:04):
You found kind of interesting and you were like,
we should do the podcast about that.
Do you remember what that was?
Do you want to say it?
No.
Okay.
All right.
We did talk about so much.
We did.
So it was the difference in between humans and people.
Oh yes.
Yeah.
And we definitely want to touch base on that.
Yeah.
(02:25):
So do you want me to go into it first?
Can I?
Please.
Because I...
So humans and people, I have a different process.
I have goddesses and divine beings.
And then there's humans.
So for me, a human is someone who just is just navigating life.
(02:47):
Just doing what they're told.
The television tells them to get A, B, and C to clean the house.
They go and get A, B, and C.
They're hungry.
They stop on the side of the road.
They get a hamburger and some french fries and a Coke.
A goddess or a divine being will know their limitations,
know their body, know their mind.
(03:09):
They're not going to stop at the drive-thru.
They're not going to go to the store just because someone told them to.
They're not going to eat things that create illness within them.
They do things to create a better life for themselves.
And I know you said humans and people.
So I want you to give your perspective.
(03:32):
Right.
So it's kind of along those same lines,
except there's less intent on just being better.
It's more along the lines on how they interact around their surroundings.
And I've said this ever since.
I started in my early 30s where I kind of came along this idea where people are cool,
but humans get on my nerves.
(03:54):
And humans are the kind of people, and I use the grocery store when I talk about this.
I say that humans are the kind of people who are going through the grocery store,
picking off the stuff on their counter, not the counter, the aisle.
The aisle.
They're out of the various aisles, right?
The shelves off the aisle.
And they're picking up that stuff.
(04:15):
They're putting in their carts.
They're going straight to the cash out, getting their stuff,
not looking at anybody, not worrying if they're in anybody's way.
They are solely focused on their tax.
They need their food.
The only way that they do it is just focusing, getting in, getting out,
and chances are they're not returning the cart afterwards.
Whereas people, they go in there.
(04:37):
Sure, they're doing the shopping.
They're in the grocery store for the reason,
but they're also aware enough of their surroundings that, you know,
maybe their path walking down the aisle swerves for somebody
because they see somebody coming.
They're actually saying, at least making eye contact with a head nod,
you know, the southern little head nod that you do when you pass somebody.
Right.
(04:58):
They're interacting with the world while still performing the function that they need to do.
When they get out after everything is done,
they're probably going to be the people who do return their carts to the...
That's me.
Yeah.
And so there are a lot of people who don't, who do not.
And I'm sure that, you know, human beings aren't so black and white
(05:20):
that they're going to fall immediately between these two.
But it really shapes the way that I interact with people on whether or not I see them being in their humanity,
just their ego, just their what's inside of them right now.
They're feeling their need and they're not paying any attention.
Now that I'm older, I realize that's not a slight against me.
(05:42):
I used to think that it was.
Oh.
And I used to think it was like, oh, they're just being,
they're just out there doing whatever they want.
They're being asshole.
No, they're just, they're living their life in their own space,
in their own space, in their own world.
And maybe they don't have the energy to give, you know, people at that time.
I had it posed to me that we're all living our own little movie.
(06:05):
Okay.
We're all directors of our own movie.
We're all creators of our own movie.
And to me, a human is someone who isn't aware that they are allowed to create.
They don't even know they have a choice, right?
Okay.
So they just navigate from this very low brainwave state.
(06:29):
Just this, it's almost asleep.
Okay.
It's almost just reactions.
Reactionary.
I was just about to say reactionary.
So it's more from a place of ego.
The other perspective is that when I, when I call you a divine being,
a divine being knows the limitations of themselves,
knows the wants and desires and needs of themselves,
(06:51):
knows that their value doesn't solely come from looks,
doesn't come from what they can give someone,
doesn't come from these things.
The value of a divine being comes from so deep within that your movie,
I want to watch because there's excitement, there's awareness,
(07:14):
there's constant creativity, there's joy, there's new people.
If you're just a basic human, they're just getting through the day.
It's like, oh, for Christ's sake, I'm just trying to get through the day.
Which is not to say that I don't go through my own down points.
You know, it's not, it's not a constant high.
I don't think I could survive a constant high.
(07:36):
But it's how you deal with highs and lows, I think is in your view is what makes the divine being.
I feel like if you're going just along with the ride where you're not,
you know, shaping your destiny, I mean, like to use, you know, more metaphors,
why not that you're in a ship, you're being tossed around in the ocean.
The ocean's going to toss you around, but you're still at that rudder,
(07:59):
you're still trimming those sails, you're still trying to get your boat to kind of go westerly
or wherever it is that you're going.
And I feel like a divine being, if you're using your term, people,
maybe if I'm using mine, they are paying attention to that boat.
They are.
You know, it was before this trip, a divine being, what does a divine being do?
(08:20):
I mean, I had, my trip to Riodoso was chaos.
I won't go into that just yet, but I want you to know before I came here,
I made sure everything was paid, made sure I had enough money for the trip,
made sure I had a place to stay, got gas for my car.
All the things.
Yeah.
And I'm just vibing.
(08:41):
I'm just going from moment to moment.
I'm just flowing.
I'm not mad at myself.
I'm not telling myself a story.
I don't have to lose weight.
I don't have to wear makeup.
My hair doesn't have to be brushed.
My teeth do.
Yeah, that's important.
But in order for me to have a safe, calm space, I had to create that for myself.
(09:02):
And I feel like divine beings or people are aware of that.
Like, Hey, I got to do A, B, and C.
If I want to go on this trip, I got to elaborate.
I know you did.
I was definitely doing the same thing too.
I was making sure that aspects of the house were clean.
I was making sure that everything was packed away.
(09:23):
I even packed away a couple of extra things.
As I was packing away my clothes, actually, I had everything that I needed.
Plus one pair of underwear just in case because you never know when something might go wrong.
You know, I'm over 40.
Something might go wrong.
Luckily, nothing has.
But it's that kind of forward thinking, that kind of planning instead of just going, Hey,
(09:45):
the only because I know people who will pack and go.
And the only thing I need.
I just need one, one pair of shirt.
I need one pair of pants and two shirts.
I'm good.
I'm like, Yes, but what if, you know, people who have experienced things and use that for forward thinking, for planning.
Well, like the guy we were, you were playing with in the game last night who shot himself.
(10:09):
Oh, we did.
Yeah.
Well, his character did.
I just want to point out.
Yeah.
No one, no one, no one shot themselves at the table.
It was in the game.
You run across things, you drink too much magic liquid to poop your pants.
That's how D&D rolls, you know, anyone out there has played D&D.
You know what I'm saying.
You got to roll with the punches.
Roll, get it dice.
(10:31):
Let's, let's actually divert and just kind of tell the people why you're down here in the first place.
So we wanted to get together during pride and that didn't fare well.
That didn't fare well, but neither one of us were mad at that.
No.
And then D's 20 came up with Todd.
Todd A. Davis, great.
(10:53):
Todd A. Davis, I got to meet the comedian, the man, the GM.
Yeah.
Well, GM, DM, he called himself a dungeon daddy that night, which was.
Dungeon daddy.
Which is great.
He had a kilton.
It was, look, so I drove 10, just wonderful hours to a little cabin in North Carolina that I procured.
(11:16):
And you had said to me, well, what about the, what about the house closer to the venue?
And I said, well, that was sold out within like minutes of my selecting it.
So the universe sent me this, which was a lovely little shotgun cabin on the side of a mountain in, what did you say, Petunia, North Carolina?
(11:37):
Penrose?
Penrose.
Penrose.
North Carolina.
And it's right next to the D&D.
So I may beep some of that out just so people don't try to find you.
But yes, the pictures that you show me were lovely.
I mean, you're a biker.
I think Todd thought you meant a motorcyclist.
(11:59):
We didn't, we didn't dissuade him from that.
We just, and now he just thinks you're a motorcycle baddie.
I love it.
Which, that would be great.
But no, like we're talking.
Cyclist.
Yeah, cyclist.
And there's some trails out there that you want to explore.
But you got to come up here and see me do my first ever live stage performance of playing D&D in front of an audience.
(12:24):
With other comedians and a drag queen.
They were all fabulous.
Yeah.
And to be considered cool enough to hang with these kids was wild for me because I consider myself a relatively entertaining individual, even funny at times.
Though my wife is hard pressed to see that it, you know, but you can't win them all over.
Being there and being, I'm better at doing reactionary comedy, like situational comedy than I am doing a script.
(12:52):
So it was really fun to have you there and do that.
But then, you know, after that, we, after all of those fun yucks and throwing the dice and whatnot, we have that real conversation in the coffee shop today, which led to this.
I learned so much.
Yeah.
I learned so much.
I mean, I think what happens to me is I get so involved in my own life that I forget there are people around me and they do, they have emotions too.
(13:23):
Yeah.
I forget that.
No, it's easy to do, especially when you're going through the stress of trying to balance your work life and, you know, trying to balance, especially if you're a hardcore creative who wants to create things like this.
Like a podcast every week or say that you're a painter or whatever it is that you're doing that's going to, it's going to draw you within yourself.
(13:48):
I think that's why it's good to never really create in a total vacuum because that gives you the ability to share your emotional load with somebody else.
Even if it's just like, hey, I have been doing this for like all week. Can we go out, have a coffee or have a drink or just go take a walk and talk with each other?
(14:09):
Maybe, maybe at first even start talking at each other to see where the conversation is going to go.
For me, that kind of support is what really defines friendship for me.
I was actually having a conversation with Todd's wife last night. Well, she was there during our conversation, but I digress.
(14:32):
We were talking about how I had met a friend that I had invited as well.
He was sitting right next to me, the one that, you know, almost took out my Adam's apple with the hug.
Oh, right.
Yeah.
And she was asking how we met.
I'm like, yeah, it's been seven, eight years, I think, since we last talked like face to face.
(14:53):
She was asking, like, you know, what the friendship was like. I was like, the friendship's easy because I find myself having good friendships with people who I can talk to.
Those are the people who make friends that last the longest.
I find myself having good friends that I know that when I come back to them, the conversation just picks up from wherever we left it, or maybe just, you know, something completely new, but we just ease into it.
(15:18):
And having those kinds of friends, the people who you can talk to like that, they help you kind of balance yourself.
So when you are dealing with harder things or maybe you have a relationship, say, you know, I don't want to pull too much out of your own life on here.
You're in close proximity to somebody who has kind of been getting on your nerves recently and you don't really know how to approach it.
(15:43):
That you can go up to that friend and be like, look, here's what's happening.
And you trust that friend enough to be real with you and come back with not only empathy, not only sympathy, but also constructive criticism, which is huge as well.
What can you say to that?
I mean, look, I have pulled this card.
(16:04):
I have pulled this card out of my hat so many times.
I'm 55.
I'm grown.
I don't need you to tell me that.
And sometimes somebody does need to remind me about those things like maybe washing dishes in the sink or other things.
Because like you said, being creative, that's what's on my mind first and foremost.
(16:27):
Dishes in the sink can wait 10 years for all I care.
Do you have, and this comes from somebody who has grown up with attention problems and who has learned how to cope with them here very recently.
Actually, do you have a set established set of events that you do when you get up in the morning?
There's a better way of saying that.
(16:49):
Oh, sure. Habits.
There you go.
Yeah.
What does your habits look like and what do they focus around most?
Okay.
In the morning, I generally wake up really early.
I'll wake up at six in the morning and I don't make coffee or tea.
I'll make a big jug of water, ice water with lemons and vinegar, a little bit of vinegar.
(17:11):
And then I get dressed.
Was that with this vinegar?
Yeah.
Okay.
I was wondering.
Yeah.
After 50, your stomach acid, you don't make as much stomach acid.
I'll make a little sound.
Yeah.
Because there's no video to this podcast.
Can you hear it?
Can you hear the shaking?
I hope you can.
So, in my travels, because I used to eat from every restaurant that I, like restaurant
(17:34):
on the road and every place that I stayed, I would eat, I would eat from there.
And now I just bought a refrigerator.
I saw that.
Yeah.
So I have, I got, I got, that's what we have when we go camping.
I love that thing.
Yeah.
Well, not that particular one.
It's German.
Yeah.
It's German and it's super cute when you open it.
(17:55):
They have prepackaged salads, so I have that.
And then where I stayed, the little cabin that I stayed at had a grill outside.
So this morning I grilled all my protein, nice lean, I think it's venison that I have
right now.
I've got these quirky little weird habits that I have.
So in the morning, I'll make all my food and then I go to the gym and I work out and I'm
(18:18):
been working on parkour because generally people my age don't move very well.
Okay.
I mean, generally they actually can climb and I do a lot of floor work.
It helps me with doing tricks on my bike.
That's awesome.
Yeah.
So gym in the morning, I come home, it's usually cleaning, get ready to go to work.
(18:42):
And then I'm a nurse and I do pediatric, trach and bent.
So I take care of the kiddos and then I come home and then if we have any editing or whatever,
I like to take Monday, Tuesday off and do all my editing and producing and invitations
like when we invite guests and things.
(19:03):
So I'll do that on Monday and Tuesday.
So and I work with like a regular job.
So you're pretty much pegged yourself right.
The focus that you are having on is bettering you physically, probably mentally, especially
with the working on which I commend you for.
I need to do better that on myself.
And then creative, creative, creative.
(19:24):
I have been having to force myself to get a habit chain together when I get up things
because I can't just do one event at a time.
I kind of like do round robin in the kitchen until all the events are done and then I'm
good.
So like I'm throwing a few dishes and the dishwasher here, turning around, grabbing
the milk out of the fridge to put into my coffee, doing another turn, putting on an article
(19:49):
of clothing.
I'm doing circles in the kitchen in the morning, but it's the kitchen that I'm keeping clean
the most because I use that the most.
Marley works most of the time.
Her eating habits are her own, but I will say this, I wish she ate more.
She doesn't really do a lot for breakfast and normally she's not there for dinner to
be able to make it.
So I'm using the kitchen a lot more.
(20:10):
So I've taken it into my own to force myself to clean the kitchen every morning.
So when I come home, I don't have to worry about cleaning it again just to make dinner.
And those little habits are there have kind of taken me out of my own need just to get
ready and get out of the house and get things going and moving and also kind of foster my
(20:32):
surroundings as well.
And I'm not gonna lie, I think that's kind of helped our relationship a little bit.
I'm sure it has.
I think it's because I claimed a space.
You know, it's easy to say that when you're living with somebody that you're going to
share the spaces and the cleaning of those spaces equally, but realistically, if you
(20:55):
have different jobs, which unless you're, I can't think of many married people who like
to work with together in the same spot day after day after day.
So different jobs, different schedules.
I feel like claiming a space in the house that you know that you're going to take care
of not only for you, but also for the betterment of your relationship is huge, which I don't
(21:16):
know how much of that you've got going on.
If you think of any space in the house other than maybe your own room as your own, maybe
doing that might help me some of the rough edges that you may be feeling right now with
your roommate.
Something I was thinking as I was just now processing.
No, I appreciate it.
Yeah, you're welcome.
I was just thinking.
I was thinking the same thing.
(21:37):
I only have my things in my room and in the bathroom and that's pretty much it.
So I have created a habit though, when it comes to my room and that is it is a shit
storm while I'm there.
But when I leave in the morning, I make sure that I pick up all my little messes, which
(22:00):
are super easy.
It takes me like 15 minutes.
Because they're your mess.
Yeah.
You know, you know how that mess was made.
You know how to fix it.
Right.
I know how to fix it.
And I've gotten really good at it.
We were talking about habits.
So here's another habit that I like is I used to not pay attention to my money at all.
(22:22):
Really hated it.
Hated it.
Hated money.
Hated it.
I would say I hated money.
I hated everything to do with money.
Hated to talk about it.
Now I'm all about it.
I touch base with it every day.
I talk to it.
I tell myself I am going to make lots of money and I'm going to put it in the bank and that's
that.
(22:42):
I'm going to be taking a little bit of a image of you walking into Donald, not Donald, Scrooge
McDuck's money tower and just like standing there and talking to the coins.
He's like, all right, we're going to be taking care of you today.
Exactly.
And the worst Scrooge McDuck voice I've ever done in my life.
I've also recently been taking more responsibility for my money.
I've been every payday going through and like writing down, making sure that the bills that
(23:06):
were supposed to be paid over the last week were actually paid, which a lot of them are
automatic and then being real with myself on maybe how much money I may be splurged because
I do like going to the occasional restaurant though.
I have been eating at home more recently because the groceries are actually cheaper than eating
out right now.
It really is and the quality of the food.
(23:28):
I can buy a pound of this venison for $11.99.
Dear God.
That will feed me for two days.
Okay.
That's cool.
That's $5 a day.
Yes.
Protein.
Yes.
You can't go to a restaurant and eat like that.
And this bag salad is like $3.99.
You know, a pound of beef right now is only $5.
(23:51):
The difference is ethical.
Okay.
Okay.
It's all about your beliefs.
That is true.
And I have these beliefs.
I have these beliefs and I only want ethical.
Okay.
In me.
Okay.
It's a weird thing.
I understand.
I get it.
From you, I definitely understand.
(24:12):
For me, it's all about the bottom line for me right now.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I guess I live my ethics or more along the lines of trying to just be a better people
above the humans.
There.
It's what we're talking about.
Look what I did.
I brought it around right here.
Full circle.
For the end of the podcast.
It's like I've been doing this for a minute or something.
Look, Edith, this has been a joy.
(24:34):
We're going to wrap up here and then if anybody wants to check out my other podcast, which
you know, it probably won't be out by the time this is out.
But wait for Christmas.
And my Christmas episode of It's Your Lost Podcast will be out where Edith and I will
continue a conversation along a different kind of darker, kind of sadder line.
(24:56):
And I'm looking forward to that.
So we're going to try out a new thing here and we're going to shape it along as we go.
But we want to let you know that we do care about listening to you because if you've
listened to us long enough and you feel so inspired to ask us to discuss a certain thing,
reach out to us by sexual coffee podcast, all one word at gmail.com because we can't
(25:20):
afford to buy an official one right now.
Anything else you want to tell them to do?
Edith?
What month is this coming out?
It's probably going to be somewhere in November.
So yeah.
I just want to tie this all up with a knot, a big bow and express the gratitude, the gratitude
that I have for the moment that we're sharing.
(25:42):
We could release this along Thanksgiving.
Yeah.
And tell you that we really do want to give thanks to you guys, anybody out there.
Absolutely.
We're so grateful for as far as we've come, where we are in this moment, where we're going
in the future.
Listening has been so exciting and going so fast, so I just want to say I'm so grateful
(26:02):
to our listeners.
I'm grateful to you.
Thank you.
Grateful to you as well.
Go bonk.
What I was trying to get you to say, but it's okay.
I liked what you said as well.
If you really do like this podcast and if you happen to be listening to it on Spotify, give
us a comment.
If you're on any other platform and there's comments available, we'd love to hear from
you and like and subscribe.
And share.
And share too.
(26:23):
And share.
Sharing is caring.
God us and divine beings.
And we will talk to you guys later.
Peace.
It's only $7 it won't break the bank.
(00:08):
I'm not even thinking about that.
Oh my God.
Okay that was better than I thought it was going to be.
Hello Rita.
Hi.
How you doing?
I'm better now than I'm with you.
It's such a healing process just talking.
It really is.
And we have been talking actually face to face.
This is the first time we have recorded.
(00:29):
We are in the same space.
We are not separated by two screens, miles apart.
And I have to say, and I've been telling everybody this,
you give the greatest hugs.
Oh thank you.
You're welcome.
They're genuine.
Yes.
From the heart.
I could tell.
It was like you were throwing everything you could into it.
(00:51):
I have a friend of mine who also gives really good hugs of promise.
He's a lot shorter than I am.
He gave me a hug last night and he almost like dislodged my Adam's apple
because his arm went up so high.
Ace if you're out there I love you.
We couldn't not meet up and do an episode of the podcast.
Exactly.
I think both of us had a lot of stuff on our hearts that we just wanted to
(01:16):
just like get off our chest.
I feel like we've reached that good friendship level of talking.
We have like a moment doesn't pass where there's any kind of feeling
or thinking adversely about one another.
We definitely are a team.
Yeah.
Yeah, definitely.
And I mean you came at me with some problems that you've been having.
(01:40):
And you know, I listened and gave my opinion.
And what came out of that is I think is what's going to make today's podcast
a good short one.
You know, we don't really want to do a full hour.
We both have things to do with that.
We've got places to go back home.
People.
People to see, people to deal with.
We came across something that I've been saying for years.
(02:04):
You found kind of interesting and you were like,
we should do the podcast about that.
Do you remember what that was?
Do you want to say it?
No.
Okay.
All right.
We did talk about so much.
We did.
So it was the difference in between humans and people.
Oh yes.
Yeah.
And we definitely want to touch base on that.
Yeah.
(02:25):
So do you want me to go into it first?
Can I?
Please.
Because I...
So humans and people, I have a different process.
I have goddesses and divine beings.
And then there's humans.
So for me, a human is someone who just is just navigating life.
(02:47):
Just doing what they're told.
The television tells them to get A, B, and C to clean the house.
They go and get A, B, and C.
They're hungry.
They stop on the side of the road.
They get a hamburger and some french fries and a Coke.
A goddess or a divine being will know their limitations,
know their body, know their mind.
(03:09):
They're not going to stop at the drive-thru.
They're not going to go to the store just because someone told them to.
They're not going to eat things that create illness within them.
They do things to create a better life for themselves.
And I know you said humans and people.
So I want you to give your perspective.
(03:32):
Right.
So it's kind of along those same lines,
except there's less intent on just being better.
It's more along the lines on how they interact around their surroundings.
And I've said this ever since.
I started in my early 30s where I kind of came along this idea where people are cool,
but humans get on my nerves.
(03:54):
And humans are the kind of people, and I use the grocery store when I talk about this.
I say that humans are the kind of people who are going through the grocery store,
picking off the stuff on their counter, not the counter, the aisle.
The aisle.
They're out of the various aisles, right?
The shelves off the aisle.
And they're picking up that stuff.
(04:15):
They're putting in their carts.
They're going straight to the cash out, getting their stuff,
not looking at anybody, not worrying if they're in anybody's way.
They are solely focused on their tax.
They need their food.
The only way that they do it is just focusing, getting in, getting out,
and chances are they're not returning the cart afterwards.
Whereas people, they go in there.
(04:37):
Sure, they're doing the shopping.
They're in the grocery store for the reason,
but they're also aware enough of their surroundings that, you know,
maybe their path walking down the aisle swerves for somebody
because they see somebody coming.
They're actually saying, at least making eye contact with a head nod,
you know, the southern little head nod that you do when you pass somebody.
Right.
(04:58):
They're interacting with the world while still performing the function that they need to do.
When they get out after everything is done,
they're probably going to be the people who do return their carts to the...
That's me.
Yeah.
And so there are a lot of people who don't, who do not.
And I'm sure that, you know, human beings aren't so black and white
(05:20):
that they're going to fall immediately between these two.
But it really shapes the way that I interact with people on whether or not I see them being in their humanity,
just their ego, just their what's inside of them right now.
They're feeling their need and they're not paying any attention.
Now that I'm older, I realize that's not a slight against me.
(05:42):
I used to think that it was.
Oh.
And I used to think it was like, oh, they're just being,
they're just out there doing whatever they want.
They're being asshole.
No, they're just, they're living their life in their own space,
in their own space, in their own world.
And maybe they don't have the energy to give, you know, people at that time.
I had it posed to me that we're all living our own little movie.
(06:05):
Okay.
We're all directors of our own movie.
We're all creators of our own movie.
And to me, a human is someone who isn't aware that they are allowed to create.
They don't even know they have a choice, right?
Okay.
So they just navigate from this very low brainwave state.
(06:29):
Just this, it's almost asleep.
Okay.
It's almost just reactions.
Reactionary.
I was just about to say reactionary.
So it's more from a place of ego.
The other perspective is that when I, when I call you a divine being,
a divine being knows the limitations of themselves,
knows the wants and desires and needs of themselves,
(06:51):
knows that their value doesn't solely come from looks,
doesn't come from what they can give someone,
doesn't come from these things.
The value of a divine being comes from so deep within that your movie,
I want to watch because there's excitement, there's awareness,
(07:14):
there's constant creativity, there's joy, there's new people.
If you're just a basic human, they're just getting through the day.
It's like, oh, for Christ's sake, I'm just trying to get through the day.
Which is not to say that I don't go through my own down points.
You know, it's not, it's not a constant high.
I don't think I could survive a constant high.
(07:36):
But it's how you deal with highs and lows, I think is in your view is what makes the divine being.
I feel like if you're going just along with the ride where you're not,
you know, shaping your destiny, I mean, like to use, you know, more metaphors,
why not that you're in a ship, you're being tossed around in the ocean.
The ocean's going to toss you around, but you're still at that rudder,
(07:59):
you're still trimming those sails, you're still trying to get your boat to kind of go westerly
or wherever it is that you're going.
And I feel like a divine being, if you're using your term, people,
maybe if I'm using mine, they are paying attention to that boat.
They are.
You know, it was before this trip, a divine being, what does a divine being do?
(08:20):
I mean, I had, my trip to Riodoso was chaos.
I won't go into that just yet, but I want you to know before I came here,
I made sure everything was paid, made sure I had enough money for the trip,
made sure I had a place to stay, got gas for my car.
All the things.
Yeah.
And I'm just vibing.
(08:41):
I'm just going from moment to moment.
I'm just flowing.
I'm not mad at myself.
I'm not telling myself a story.
I don't have to lose weight.
I don't have to wear makeup.
My hair doesn't have to be brushed.
My teeth do.
Yeah, that's important.
But in order for me to have a safe, calm space, I had to create that for myself.
(09:02):
And I feel like divine beings or people are aware of that.
Like, Hey, I got to do A, B, and C.
If I want to go on this trip, I got to elaborate.
I know you did.
I was definitely doing the same thing too.
I was making sure that aspects of the house were clean.
I was making sure that everything was packed away.
(09:23):
I even packed away a couple of extra things.
As I was packing away my clothes, actually, I had everything that I needed.
Plus one pair of underwear just in case because you never know when something might go wrong.
You know, I'm over 40.
Something might go wrong.
Luckily, nothing has.
But it's that kind of forward thinking, that kind of planning instead of just going, Hey,
(09:45):
the only because I know people who will pack and go.
And the only thing I need.
I just need one, one pair of shirt.
I need one pair of pants and two shirts.
I'm good.
I'm like, Yes, but what if, you know, people who have experienced things and use that for forward thinking, for planning.
Well, like the guy we were, you were playing with in the game last night who shot himself.
(10:09):
Oh, we did.
Yeah.
Well, his character did.
I just want to point out.
Yeah.
No one, no one, no one shot themselves at the table.
It was in the game.
You run across things, you drink too much magic liquid to poop your pants.
That's how D&D rolls, you know, anyone out there has played D&D.
You know what I'm saying.
You got to roll with the punches.
Roll, get it dice.
(10:31):
Let's, let's actually divert and just kind of tell the people why you're down here in the first place.
So we wanted to get together during pride and that didn't fare well.
That didn't fare well, but neither one of us were mad at that.
No.
And then D's 20 came up with Todd.
Todd A. Davis, great.
(10:53):
Todd A. Davis, I got to meet the comedian, the man, the GM.
Yeah.
Well, GM, DM, he called himself a dungeon daddy that night, which was.
Dungeon daddy.
Which is great.
He had a kilton.
It was, look, so I drove 10, just wonderful hours to a little cabin in North Carolina that I procured.
(11:16):
And you had said to me, well, what about the, what about the house closer to the venue?
And I said, well, that was sold out within like minutes of my selecting it.
So the universe sent me this, which was a lovely little shotgun cabin on the side of a mountain in, what did you say, Petunia, North Carolina?
(11:37):
Penrose?
Penrose.
Penrose.
North Carolina.
And it's right next to the D&D.
So I may beep some of that out just so people don't try to find you.
But yes, the pictures that you show me were lovely.
I mean, you're a biker.
I think Todd thought you meant a motorcyclist.
(11:59):
We didn't, we didn't dissuade him from that.
We just, and now he just thinks you're a motorcycle baddie.
I love it.
Which, that would be great.
But no, like we're talking.
Cyclist.
Yeah, cyclist.
And there's some trails out there that you want to explore.
But you got to come up here and see me do my first ever live stage performance of playing D&D in front of an audience.
(12:24):
With other comedians and a drag queen.
They were all fabulous.
Yeah.
And to be considered cool enough to hang with these kids was wild for me because I consider myself a relatively entertaining individual, even funny at times.
Though my wife is hard pressed to see that it, you know, but you can't win them all over.
Being there and being, I'm better at doing reactionary comedy, like situational comedy than I am doing a script.
(12:52):
So it was really fun to have you there and do that.
But then, you know, after that, we, after all of those fun yucks and throwing the dice and whatnot, we have that real conversation in the coffee shop today, which led to this.
I learned so much.
Yeah.
I learned so much.
I mean, I think what happens to me is I get so involved in my own life that I forget there are people around me and they do, they have emotions too.
(13:23):
Yeah.
I forget that.
No, it's easy to do, especially when you're going through the stress of trying to balance your work life and, you know, trying to balance, especially if you're a hardcore creative who wants to create things like this.
Like a podcast every week or say that you're a painter or whatever it is that you're doing that's going to, it's going to draw you within yourself.
(13:48):
I think that's why it's good to never really create in a total vacuum because that gives you the ability to share your emotional load with somebody else.
Even if it's just like, hey, I have been doing this for like all week. Can we go out, have a coffee or have a drink or just go take a walk and talk with each other?
(14:09):
Maybe, maybe at first even start talking at each other to see where the conversation is going to go.
For me, that kind of support is what really defines friendship for me.
I was actually having a conversation with Todd's wife last night. Well, she was there during our conversation, but I digress.
(14:32):
We were talking about how I had met a friend that I had invited as well.
He was sitting right next to me, the one that, you know, almost took out my Adam's apple with the hug.
Oh, right.
Yeah.
And she was asking how we met.
I'm like, yeah, it's been seven, eight years, I think, since we last talked like face to face.
(14:53):
She was asking, like, you know, what the friendship was like. I was like, the friendship's easy because I find myself having good friendships with people who I can talk to.
Those are the people who make friends that last the longest.
I find myself having good friends that I know that when I come back to them, the conversation just picks up from wherever we left it, or maybe just, you know, something completely new, but we just ease into it.
(15:18):
And having those kinds of friends, the people who you can talk to like that, they help you kind of balance yourself.
So when you are dealing with harder things or maybe you have a relationship, say, you know, I don't want to pull too much out of your own life on here.
You're in close proximity to somebody who has kind of been getting on your nerves recently and you don't really know how to approach it.
(15:43):
That you can go up to that friend and be like, look, here's what's happening.
And you trust that friend enough to be real with you and come back with not only empathy, not only sympathy, but also constructive criticism, which is huge as well.
What can you say to that?
I mean, look, I have pulled this card.
(16:04):
I have pulled this card out of my hat so many times.
I'm 55.
I'm grown.
I don't need you to tell me that.
And sometimes somebody does need to remind me about those things like maybe washing dishes in the sink or other things.
Because like you said, being creative, that's what's on my mind first and foremost.
(16:27):
Dishes in the sink can wait 10 years for all I care.
Do you have, and this comes from somebody who has grown up with attention problems and who has learned how to cope with them here very recently.
Actually, do you have a set established set of events that you do when you get up in the morning?
There's a better way of saying that.
(16:49):
Oh, sure. Habits.
There you go.
Yeah.
What does your habits look like and what do they focus around most?
Okay.
In the morning, I generally wake up really early.
I'll wake up at six in the morning and I don't make coffee or tea.
I'll make a big jug of water, ice water with lemons and vinegar, a little bit of vinegar.
(17:11):
And then I get dressed.
Was that with this vinegar?
Yeah.
Okay.
I was wondering.
Yeah.
After 50, your stomach acid, you don't make as much stomach acid.
I'll make a little sound.
Yeah.
Because there's no video to this podcast.
Can you hear it?
Can you hear the shaking?
I hope you can.
So, in my travels, because I used to eat from every restaurant that I, like restaurant
(17:34):
on the road and every place that I stayed, I would eat, I would eat from there.
And now I just bought a refrigerator.
I saw that.
Yeah.
So I have, I got, I got, that's what we have when we go camping.
I love that thing.
Yeah.
Well, not that particular one.
It's German.
Yeah.
It's German and it's super cute when you open it.
(17:55):
They have prepackaged salads, so I have that.
And then where I stayed, the little cabin that I stayed at had a grill outside.
So this morning I grilled all my protein, nice lean, I think it's venison that I have
right now.
I've got these quirky little weird habits that I have.
So in the morning, I'll make all my food and then I go to the gym and I work out and I'm
(18:18):
been working on parkour because generally people my age don't move very well.
Okay.
I mean, generally they actually can climb and I do a lot of floor work.
It helps me with doing tricks on my bike.
That's awesome.
Yeah.
So gym in the morning, I come home, it's usually cleaning, get ready to go to work.
(18:42):
And then I'm a nurse and I do pediatric, trach and bent.
So I take care of the kiddos and then I come home and then if we have any editing or whatever,
I like to take Monday, Tuesday off and do all my editing and producing and invitations
like when we invite guests and things.
(19:03):
So I'll do that on Monday and Tuesday.
So and I work with like a regular job.
So you're pretty much pegged yourself right.
The focus that you are having on is bettering you physically, probably mentally, especially
with the working on which I commend you for.
I need to do better that on myself.
And then creative, creative, creative.
(19:24):
I have been having to force myself to get a habit chain together when I get up things
because I can't just do one event at a time.
I kind of like do round robin in the kitchen until all the events are done and then I'm
good.
So like I'm throwing a few dishes and the dishwasher here, turning around, grabbing
the milk out of the fridge to put into my coffee, doing another turn, putting on an article
(19:49):
of clothing.
I'm doing circles in the kitchen in the morning, but it's the kitchen that I'm keeping clean
the most because I use that the most.
Marley works most of the time.
Her eating habits are her own, but I will say this, I wish she ate more.
She doesn't really do a lot for breakfast and normally she's not there for dinner to
be able to make it.
So I'm using the kitchen a lot more.
(20:10):
So I've taken it into my own to force myself to clean the kitchen every morning.
So when I come home, I don't have to worry about cleaning it again just to make dinner.
And those little habits are there have kind of taken me out of my own need just to get
ready and get out of the house and get things going and moving and also kind of foster my
(20:32):
surroundings as well.
And I'm not gonna lie, I think that's kind of helped our relationship a little bit.
I'm sure it has.
I think it's because I claimed a space.
You know, it's easy to say that when you're living with somebody that you're going to
share the spaces and the cleaning of those spaces equally, but realistically, if you
(20:55):
have different jobs, which unless you're, I can't think of many married people who like
to work with together in the same spot day after day after day.
So different jobs, different schedules.
I feel like claiming a space in the house that you know that you're going to take care
of not only for you, but also for the betterment of your relationship is huge, which I don't
(21:16):
know how much of that you've got going on.
If you think of any space in the house other than maybe your own room as your own, maybe
doing that might help me some of the rough edges that you may be feeling right now with
your roommate.
Something I was thinking as I was just now processing.
No, I appreciate it.
Yeah, you're welcome.
I was just thinking.
I was thinking the same thing.
(21:37):
I only have my things in my room and in the bathroom and that's pretty much it.
So I have created a habit though, when it comes to my room and that is it is a shit
storm while I'm there.
But when I leave in the morning, I make sure that I pick up all my little messes, which
(22:00):
are super easy.
It takes me like 15 minutes.
Because they're your mess.
Yeah.
You know, you know how that mess was made.
You know how to fix it.
Right.
I know how to fix it.
And I've gotten really good at it.
We were talking about habits.
So here's another habit that I like is I used to not pay attention to my money at all.
(22:22):
Really hated it.
Hated it.
Hated money.
Hated it.
I would say I hated money.
I hated everything to do with money.
Hated to talk about it.
Now I'm all about it.
I touch base with it every day.
I talk to it.
I tell myself I am going to make lots of money and I'm going to put it in the bank and that's
that.
(22:42):
I'm going to be taking a little bit of a image of you walking into Donald, not Donald, Scrooge
McDuck's money tower and just like standing there and talking to the coins.
He's like, all right, we're going to be taking care of you today.
Exactly.
And the worst Scrooge McDuck voice I've ever done in my life.
I've also recently been taking more responsibility for my money.
I've been every payday going through and like writing down, making sure that the bills that
(23:06):
were supposed to be paid over the last week were actually paid, which a lot of them are
automatic and then being real with myself on maybe how much money I may be splurged because
I do like going to the occasional restaurant though.
I have been eating at home more recently because the groceries are actually cheaper than eating
out right now.
It really is and the quality of the food.
(23:28):
I can buy a pound of this venison for $11.99.
Dear God.
That will feed me for two days.
Okay.
That's cool.
That's $5 a day.
Yes.
Protein.
Yes.
You can't go to a restaurant and eat like that.
And this bag salad is like $3.99.
You know, a pound of beef right now is only $5.
(23:51):
The difference is ethical.
Okay.
Okay.
It's all about your beliefs.
That is true.
And I have these beliefs.
I have these beliefs and I only want ethical.
Okay.
In me.
Okay.
It's a weird thing.
I understand.
I get it.
From you, I definitely understand.
(24:12):
For me, it's all about the bottom line for me right now.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I guess I live my ethics or more along the lines of trying to just be a better people
above the humans.
There.
It's what we're talking about.
Look what I did.
I brought it around right here.
Full circle.
For the end of the podcast.
It's like I've been doing this for a minute or something.
Look, Edith, this has been a joy.
(24:34):
We're going to wrap up here and then if anybody wants to check out my other podcast, which
you know, it probably won't be out by the time this is out.
But wait for Christmas.
And my Christmas episode of It's Your Lost Podcast will be out where Edith and I will
continue a conversation along a different kind of darker, kind of sadder line.
(24:56):
And I'm looking forward to that.
So we're going to try out a new thing here and we're going to shape it along as we go.
But we want to let you know that we do care about listening to you because if you've
listened to us long enough and you feel so inspired to ask us to discuss a certain thing,
reach out to us by sexual coffee podcast, all one word at gmail.com because we can't
(25:20):
afford to buy an official one right now.
Anything else you want to tell them to do?
Edith?
What month is this coming out?
It's probably going to be somewhere in November.
So yeah.
I just want to tie this all up with a knot, a big bow and express the gratitude, the gratitude
that I have for the moment that we're sharing.
(25:42):
We could release this along Thanksgiving.
Yeah.
And tell you that we really do want to give thanks to you guys, anybody out there.
Absolutely.
We're so grateful for as far as we've come, where we are in this moment, where we're going
in the future.
Listening has been so exciting and going so fast, so I just want to say I'm so grateful
(26:02):
to our listeners.
I'm grateful to you.
Thank you.
Grateful to you as well.
Go bonk.
What I was trying to get you to say, but it's okay.
I liked what you said as well.
If you really do like this podcast and if you happen to be listening to it on Spotify, give
us a comment.
If you're on any other platform and there's comments available, we'd love to hear from
you and like and subscribe.
And share.
And share too.
(26:23):
And share.
Sharing is caring.
God us and divine beings.
And we will talk to you guys later.
Peace.
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