September 15, 2025 • 24 mins
Postpartum depression doesn't discriminate—not even against women of faith. In this raw and powerful conversation, Pastor Kristie Anderson bravely shares her journey through the darkness of postpartum depression while balancing her roles as a mother of three, pastor, and healthcare professional.
Kristie's story begins with her first pregnancy during March 2020—right as COVID lockdowns began. What followed was a perfect storm: her husband contracting COVID shortly after their daughter's birth, leaving her alone with a colicky newborn; becoming pregnant again just 11 months later; losing her father to a heart attack; and eventually facing a life-threatening hemorrhage during her third child's delivery that left doctors wondering how she survived.
The most chilling moment comes when Kristie reveals hearing a voice telling her to harm her baby—a turning point where she recognized her postpartum depression as more than just exhaustion. "That's a demon," she says, detailing how her faith became her anchor when she couldn't trust her own thoughts. Rather than portraying her struggles as separate from her ministry, Kristie explains how these trials actually strengthened her ability to pastor others: "I wouldn't want to be in their past if I didn't have to do nothing...how could you teach me? It's better from experience."
Whether you're struggling with postpartum depression, supporting someone who is, or simply interested in understanding this common but often misunderstood condition, this episode offers wisdom from someone who's walked through the fire. Kristie shares practical strategies that helped her heal: prayer, therapy, medical support, honest communication with doctors, and building a village of support—even when biological family isn't available.
Listen now to discover why rest isn't just a luxury but a biblical command, how to recognize when you need help, and why breaking the silence around mental health is essential for healing.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:10):
Hello everyone, welcome to Be Free.
You and I'm your girl, breeCharles, the host of the show,
and I am so excited about whatwe are going to be running all
month long, and that is theAlter Experience.
This was an experience like noother.
I truly had a great timeinterviewing some of the guests
(00:31):
at the altar experience.
I want to just thank right now,pastor Moena Tucker and Jamie
Tucker for inviting me out tothe altar experience, where I
was blessed beyond measure withthe words that was coming out,
so I'm hoping that you as wellhere, my listeners are just as
(00:53):
blessed as I was to hear some ofthe interviews and some of the
entertainment that we will beshowing all month long.
So take a look, enjoy andremember, burn through the pad,
break the cycle and becomeunstoppable.
This is what it's all about.
Check it out.
Hello, hello.
(01:13):
We now have Christy Anderson,okay, so welcome.
Welcome to B3U.
Tell me a little bit aboutyourself, christy, and what do
you do.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
Well, like I said, I'm Christy, I'm from Detroit, I
do a lot of things, butprofessionally I work at a
senior medical facility, I'mpart of the pastor's office, I
am a pastor with my husband inDetroit, michigan, and I am a
(01:45):
mother of three little peoplefive-point tuna 30 yesterday and
I am a worship leader.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Yes.
So, kirstie, I know that youhave seen and been through,
especially being a pastor,especially being in the medical
field.
Yes, I'm sure you have seen alot.
What are some of yourexperiences with people with
trauma, or maybe trauma of yourown?
What is the biggest thing youcan say about someone who is in
(02:21):
trauma and going through?
What is something that you canshare to encourage them, or what
has encouraged you?
Speaker 2 (02:28):
I would say I just got to speak of a recent trauma
I dealt with and that waspostpartum depression.
Oh let's talk about it.
Postpartum depression let'stalk about it.
That is a big one.
Yes, it really is.
A lot of people don't really, Iknow, back in the day, like my
(02:49):
mom used to say, that wassomething they never was able to
label as something or anything,just like, oh, she's going
crazy or she's just goingthrough that time, you know,
after having a child.
But it is real.
It's real and it started out.
I had my first child in thepandemic 2020, march 2020, march
2020 is when I had her andwhile I was in the hospital,
that's when everything waschanging and I got to hear the
(03:12):
nurses getting the calls on thewalkie-talkie.
I'm like everybody has to bemasked, ducking and right.
Everything was changing andright before she came, I was
able to have like four people inher room.
It went down.
My husband barely made it, ohwow, and I couldn't even record
anything.
My family just had to be on theregular phone to help coach me.
(03:34):
You know all that good stuff.
So I didn't really have anexperience of a first-time mom
that had, you know, other peopleprobably had with your mother
and they'll just be like youknow.
So it was just really so.
It was really different duringthat time.
So, after coming home with her,within that week, my husband
got COVID and I just got homewith the baby so I'm trying to
(03:55):
recover.
So he was locked up in a roomby himself.
I'm with my baby and I'm tryingto learn how to do everything,
you know, by myself.
At that time as a new mom.
My sister was there at first tohelp, but then she got COVID
from her husband.
She owned the home.
So my baby developed colic.
You know, as a first-time momyou'd like kind of, if it was a
(04:17):
hard sleeper.
We stopped being a hard sleeper.
You started hearing every move.
They make everything happening.
So I was a sleepy and I waslike super tired, I was becoming
overwhelmed.
My daughter had, I think, maybelike a milk allergy.
So after, like, starting tobreastfeed after a while I was
kind of switching to the milkbecause it was getting really
tired and so with her transferto the milk the regular we
(04:42):
started to have stomach deaths.
So she was very gassy.
The colic and stuff, I didn'tknow what that was.
So my mom was working at anursing home and she didn't want
to, you know, necessarily bringCOVID there.
She was scared.
She was a what they call anasymptomatic, so she never got
it.
But she can carry it Right.
So her husband got it and shewas like I don't want to come
(05:07):
there, and you know, anybodygets sick.
You got the baby.
It was like a month or twobefore anybody could go to see
the baby after her first day onit.
So, just doing it by myself, Iended up having a postpartum
depression.
You think I couldn't sleep.
She was crying so much and Ididn't know that's what that was
.
Later I had my son.
11 months later I got pregnantwith my second child.
(05:27):
I didn't go to the six-weekbecause you were in pandemics.
Everything is virtual.
I filed down maybe two weeksafter that, out of the space
with myself, had him.
That same year I lost my fatherWow, you know.
(05:55):
So now it's postpartum.
I'm angry, I'm dead away andthat was the light in itself.
Wow had a heart attack, wentinto cardiac arrest.
So then my son came about.
I had a C-section because Ideveloped gestational diabetes
and so I had to have a C-section.
I never had surgery a day of mylife to be cut or something.
That was very like a littlenerve-wracking.
(06:17):
But I started praying.
I started like, okay, lord,this is me and you, I have to do
this.
There's no other way.
So I need you to help, like,just, I'm depending on you to
just really help me with this,mentally and nationally.
So the Lord got me through thattime and even with that I
couldn't really deal with my sontoo much afterwards because I
(06:38):
was still like mentally drainedand tired from your first child
and the postpartum justincreased a bit.
It got so bad to where it wasaffecting my marriage, you know,
because during that time myhusband went through a spiritual
awakening and the prophetic,and he never dealt with the
prophetic so he just he wasgoing around talking to himself
(07:01):
and if I wasn't in a place ofbeing spiritual where I was, he
probably would have been in acrazy house, you know.
So to have a degree but justalready having, you know, being
saved and being in thatlifestyle of knowing about the
prophetic, the warfare andeverything, so what I've gone
through spiritually, mentallymyself.
I had a husband that was goingthrough too, but I had to like
(07:21):
kind of put myself on a backburner and frame.
So it's like so many hats beenworn at this time.
So we moved to Georgia in 22sand I just had the two little
ones.
We was like, okay, detroit isgoing really fast.
Let's try to go somewhereRelocate.
Maybe they had to kind of pokea lot just to slow down.
(07:42):
So we used to kind of figureeverything out.
So it was going pretty goodthere.
By the time December 22 came Ithought I was taking my third
child, okay.
So it was born pretty goodthere.
By the time December 22 came Ithought I was taking my third
child, okay.
So I was kind of getting there,we are getting it in.
We were doing it.
I was like Jesus wait a minuteI'm just getting adjusted,
(08:02):
finally kind of getting settledmentally A little bit was the
two, you know, gettingeverything going and the Lord
brought that third one and Ithank god for my babies I'm
because I was told I could nothave any children.
I was told I could not have notone child and the lord best
with the threes, so I'm thankfulfor that.
(08:22):
Um.
So when the third one came, mybaby boy came, I, um, after
having him, him I had his leg tosee, et cetera I was expected
to do a VBAC.
I went through the whole processand my third try, I found I had
gestation and diabetes and so Ihad to go and this with this
(08:43):
pregnancy, my nerves and myanxiety was kind of high.
I was super aware of a baby inmy belly, to where it was
freaking me out.
I was like, well, I'm not goingcrazy when I think about it.
I was like, oh my God, there'sa baby there and it was just
messing with me, like was thatabout stopping?
I don't know what it was.
I could say it was the enemy,but I don't want to say it was
(09:06):
the enemy, but you know, it wasjust me, but I don't want to say
it was any, but you know it wasjust I was being.
I was aware a lot more and thatpregnancy was a was a struggle,
like it was just the bed.
My babies were big and big eightpounders, 11 pounds was the
second one yes, again last weekwas another eight pounds, the
smallest one I had eight four.
But after having him the doctor, I went into my room to change
(09:30):
over to my little bed afterhaving his C-section and when
they pulled the covers off I washead injured.
I had lost over 3,000milliliters of blood on my and I
didn't know I was dying.
I was laying there, my husbandwas watching me die, so he was
like you see his color here?
That's what he was tellingeverybody.
I didn't see myself.
He would say this is the colorI spotted to take and I'm just
(09:53):
sitting there and it was like wedon't understand how she's
pumpkin this.
She was right now.
My doctor's office was rightacross the trip in the hospital.
She came, she had her BurgerKing breakfast with a lunch
Before the next section at aBurger King in my hand and she
dropped everything Like I needgloves, I need this.
And the nurse I had a nursethat was saved and she was
(10:17):
praying.
My husband was going to point awood today and praying and you
know I just thank God for thatbecause I was literally losing
my life.
They didn't even let her live.
But everything became well.
They got me together and once Igot out of there postpartum, I
hit even a moment to where now Icould hear like my baby was
crying and all he wanted wassomething to eat.
(10:39):
Of course, and I'm just, Iguess I couldn't get it done
fast enough and he, just he hadthis piercing cry and the enemy
I knew it was the enemy thentelling me chomp your baby.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
It was about time.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
And the enemy.
I knew it was the enemy thentelling me chomp your baby.
Those guys are tiny and when myarm got light and I realized it
and I started speaking intongues, I said the devil in
your eye that cause part ofdepression, that's a demon.
I saw that it was literallytrying to cause me to kill my
child, like just to get away.
You'll stop crying then if youjump.
(11:11):
I texted my husband immediatelywhile he was at work.
I said the devil just told meto drop my baby and I said I
realized it.
Then I was able to make senseof it then Because you know,
(11:34):
when your friends they sell you,they give you this care for
work.
Now, when you have a child for adepression, put out a
depression screening, you justgonna check off with everything
because you don't want to.
You know, accept the best.
That's what it is.
But it's really a real thingand it took a little time for me
to kind of I cannot adjust tothe three cans.
I would.
It had me in a case of a beatwhere I feel like I could not do
anything but my children.
I'm like I can't go to thestore, I can't do this, I can't
do that Like I felt like I wasjust lost.
(11:55):
I couldn't do nothing withchildren and I did not have any
kind of control, so I felthelpless, you know.
So after a while my husband wassaying hey, you can do that,
you can do this.
I'm like I can't, I can't.
And it was just one day.
I sat there and I just prayedand I cried out.
I was in worship.
At this point in time, I hadstopped singing.
(12:17):
Worship is really my placewhere the Lord heals me.
If I go through sickness, Ijust worship my way through.
That's how I encourage myselfThrough the word of worship.
I sat in the living room and Iwas just crying.
I was crying.
I said, lord, you have to helpme.
I need you to deliver me fromthis spirit, because I know this
(12:39):
is not a being and it has youfeeling like you're defeated,
like you're by yourself.
There's no hope for you.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
You can't do this, that and that.
So that's the moment like thatis the moment where you were
listening to yourself yes, andyou had to speak out loud and
stop listening to yourself andtalking to yourself like and
talking to God to say I can dothis, lord, help me.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
I can do all this to Christ.
You start getting thosescriptures and I'm telling you
like encouraging yourself.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
Because no one else can do it for you.
I may not understand, like Isaid, your husband was going
through things, so that ispowerful right there, when it's
just you by yourself and youjust say God help, only he can
do it, only he can Surrendering.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
Yeah, surrendering.
That calls for another level ofsurrendering, submitting
yourself to the Lord and justlike literally releasing.
You got to release his head andgo, whatever you was thinking,
you was feeling, because duringthat time of postpartum pitch
you really don't expressyourself as much, you just kind
of take it or you do it, you doit, you do it, you do it, or you
do it.
Or you do it or you do it, youforget about yourself.
(13:49):
So I had to think back.
I had to tell my husband likelook, I'm not myself, I don't
feel like my son.
You kind of feel like you'rehaving this nervous breakdown.
You kind of feel like you'rejust in this place where it's
like I don't know who I amanymore.
And at that point I said, lord,give me my identity back, the
(14:10):
true identity, because probablywho I was before, that I wasn't
always meant to be that personand that's a part of evolving
through life, even as you aspiritual walk, when you like,
you receive the call and youaccept the call of that for your
life.
I didn't know I was going to bein this place of being a caste
state.
You cannot have 12.
I was prophes.
Be in this place of being apastor, you cannot have told me
I was prophesied this cover whenI was a teenager.
(14:30):
I was like, ooh, that's fuckingoff.
You're a pastor, you know.
I have a family full of pastors, evangelists, bishops, apostles
and all that stuff.
That doesn't necessarily meanthat's my calling, but that oil
flowed through my generation so.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
But being here as a pastor, I never would have
thought that, but that's whatthe Lord was preparing me and
see a lot of people think on theoutside, think that pastors or
people who are ordained don't gothrough that but I tell you so
me.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
That's what, that's what really certified you as
being such, and I wouldn't wantto be in their past if I didn't
have to do nothing.
Because how could you teach me?
It's better from experiencethan just oh, I see, somebody
else moved over, you don't know.
I tell you first thing to livethrough postpartum depression,
especially during a time whencan't nobody help you but God,
(15:26):
and it was like I could do nobut call on God.
I was, we was there in Georgia,but I said, if he didn't have
any family close, right closelike that, so I'm in the house
every day, just me and thechildren, me and the children,
it's like okay, you were rightabout that too, because you know
, I had my children in the 90soh, in the 80s.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
At the last, latter part of the 80s, I didn't know
what post part of depression wasand nobody ever treated me for
it.
Nobody ever treated me for it,so I didn't know what it was.
I now do right and I have achild.
I had a daughter that sufferedfrom postpartum and because I
didn't have the knowledge andI'm like what is this postpartum
(16:06):
depression?
And my mom was the same waythat people were talking about.
What is it?
Yeah, they got a name for itnow and it is a serious thing,
like some people have.
Like you said, you heard thatvoice saying drop your baby.
Some people have followedthrough with their voice.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
Literally, because it's like you're not going crazy
and you're like, wait a minute,what?
And if you're not, if you cometo what the enemy is telling you
to do, that's how you thebabies in the garbage can.
Yes, mother love killed thechild, or she done went, you
know, crazy.
Like it would say, local orsomething.
And that's true that it canhappen.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
All it takes is, first of all, education, and
that's where I'm grateful foryou to come on and share your
story, um, as a pastor, woman ofGod, who you know, everybody
looks at you like you'resupposed to be the super woman,
like you know, um, but to sharethis so other young women can
know and men can recognize thatthis is postpartum right and get
, yeah, that helps.
So what you besides your faith,what?
Speaker 2 (17:11):
else helps you.
Um, go through therapy burping.
I did go through therapy.
I went to therapy because wewent, like I said, it kind of
took a tug on my marriage aswell because, like he wasn't
away he never, of course he'sfirst-time father and everything
with every, every child we had.
He never heard of postpartumdepression.
He didn't know what that lookedlike.
Yes, he was like what's wrongwith you, why are you acting
(17:34):
different?
Like look at this other thing.
And that helped even him tohelp educate him and know how to
handle me and not okay, if I'mreacting about something, he
know how to stay calm.
He reacting about something,you know how steakhounds like
it's okay, yeah, it's okay, likeyou know how to deal with you
and not trigger that to evenincrease that that you know
situation even more and to go ina bad way.
(17:56):
But literally just talking itout in therapy.
Um, even doctors are playing.
Go to your doctor, tell yourdoctor.
They tell you that now they nowhave medication off, but I
don't, of course they do.
Yes, of course they got that,but literally it takes it just
like but you feel that off,anything off, at whatever point
it is.
When you do take your baby tothe doctor, doctor, they give
(18:19):
you that screening.
Be honest, if that's how youfeel, you feel like you're by
yourself or you feel angry, youdon't feel happy, you don't feel
like these are important, whatthose questions like, answer
that on that paper so they canget you it's.
They're pretty much going torecommend that for you, you know
, and it's good to just talk itout.
Talk it out because a lot oftimes, if that's all it is,
(18:41):
first of all you're not resting.
Yeah, it's so important to getrest as a new mother, right, if
you're on your fifth car, heneed you for sure, need rest.
Then you need the rest.
I'm saying we use the power ofsleep, it autogymnetic, and
that's natural, you know.
So get me some sleep if you is.
That's why it's so important tohave this village.
(19:03):
Yes, body, it's our own can.
And we were just talking topastor uh jamie about.
I was like well, he's ingeorgia, now what do I say?
Take me back home to my momVillage.
Yes, everybody is on cam.
And we were just talking toPastor Jamie about it.
I was like, well, he's inGeorgia.
Now what do I say?
Take me back home to my mom,take me to my mommy?
Yeah, because before we left mywhole family was involved with
the children.
But when we moved to Georgia Ihad family, but they were not as
close to us, as distant, and myfamily is older on my father's
(19:25):
side, so it's like I reallycan't say hey, he's a truck that
came off.
They were all in half away, youknow.
So we were there kind of likeby ourselves, so it's so good
and the power of family is thereand that's what I, you know.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
when you have a family that is there for you, it
takes a village.
It truly takes a village tohelp raise children, to help get
through some things.
This is why I tell my childrenI know we were in the military,
but I need to come a little bitcloser you know as being settled
and where we act.
You know, and in Virginia youknow, my children, alabama, sure
(20:03):
, north Carolina, but you wantmy you know, I like right now I
have a daughter who's pregnant.
She in North Carolina, almostfive hours away.
Like how am I supposed to helpyou?
But one thing I do say is don'tlet the you know, don't let the
enemy or anything come in andsay, oh, they're too far.
I'm on the phone.
(20:23):
I'm on the phone and I'mencouraging, I'm speaking power,
because my daughter, she's nowpregnant and I tell her you know
, you know what this, how thisis going to go, but you stay
encouraged.
You know that you get sick, butstay encouraged.
Like, don't let your mind takeover to the point where you've
(20:46):
had five.
Already we're on our sixth one.
We know what's going to happen.
She has that family to keep herencouraged and empowered.
But what can we say to thosewho don't have that family?
Speaker 2 (21:02):
I ran into.
We were out to eat and ourwaitress came over.
Just the fact that she saw ourfamily together, she was like I
just love that, I have to seethis.
And she's going through apostpartum discussion and you
know her and the significantother was just going through it
was based off the postpartumdepression, when men don't know,
(21:23):
they just don't know and shedon't really have that.
But she's like the only childknow, they just don't know and
she don't really have that, butshe's like the only child don't
have scurvy anything.
I said we got, we got closefriends.
If you got, you know sheprobably had to find a way to
get they care or something.
I said I'd be connected withher.
Look here I know can't trust.
Everybody said well, let's getto know one another.
(21:45):
We could go, go sit, I bring mychildren and you know we have
us a little time together and wecould be all in the same place.
So you know your children arethere just to get your nine.
Or you know we could be three,me and my sister she's a child
care guy, so, like you, go overthere and watch the kids and you
know, so that we can focus andpart or let her have a day she
(22:09):
can be by herself.
You know, just, I don't knowwhat it's like to not have a
village, but all I can say is,like you had to, there's a
village somewhere because you'reconnected to keeping that
friends, keeping that souls, andyou can just break away for a
little bit.
Now that her child's a littleolder, the father's more
comfortable with dealing withthe baby by himself.
I say, even for older, thefather is more comfortable with
dealing with the baby by himself.
I say even for me the breakawaywas this I could go to a woman,
(22:30):
I could walk on my own, Ididn't have to go shopping,
nothing, just a break by myself.
Sometimes you need that timeCar time, daycare, something to
get you some alone time.
And I had never kept my childin the daycare any day, as early
as 60.
But the basic boys.
I saw her, I made a mug time, Ifed him a fart time.
(22:50):
He wet-ass kicked me.
So they told me go over there.
It was just for my mental, foryour mental.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
Whatever yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
And it's for you for yourself first, but it's also
for your mental health to helpprotect their children.
Yes, some people probably neverwant to start doing anything to
their children, but it can get.
It could get that going andit's.
You know, we're making sure.
Speaker 1 (23:12):
That you have a handle on it, some support, and
I thank you so, so much.
You are amazing.
This was like right on time.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
Because there's a lot of us that's out there
suffering from postpartumdepression and just don't know
what is more education now?
But to let you know that'sexactly what it is.
And I will say real quick, evenif you don't have a village,
like I said, check in with thedoctor, check in with the doctor
, we could go to the hospital,you could go to your children's
out there.
Just let them know what you'redoing, what you're having
communication with somebody, sothey can reach you for help.
So that's also another resourcetoo.
Speaker 1 (23:49):
That's right, that's right thank you so much that,
but you are amazing.
Um, you guys.
I don't know if you guys arehearing this, but one thing that
I took that I heard before isrest.
Yeah, rest is the thing, is thething.
Postpartum work, family,everything, businesses.
(24:14):
Rest is the is is key.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
God is first, absolutely faith is above that,
and even the lord told you torest.
It's in the world to rest.
Self-care is so essential.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
Yes, self-care.
So thank you so much, christy,and Pastor Christy, y'all.
Hello everyone, welcome to Be Free.
You and I'm your girl, breeCharles, the host of the show,
and I am so excited about whatwe are going to be running all
month long, and that is theAlter Experience.
This was an experience like noother.
I truly had a great timeinterviewing some of the guests
(00:31):
at the altar experience.
I want to just thank right now,pastor Moena Tucker and Jamie
Tucker for inviting me out tothe altar experience, where I
was blessed beyond measure withthe words that was coming out,
so I'm hoping that you as wellhere, my listeners are just as
(00:53):
blessed as I was to hear some ofthe interviews and some of the
entertainment that we will beshowing all month long.
So take a look, enjoy andremember, burn through the pad,
break the cycle and becomeunstoppable.
This is what it's all about.
Check it out.
Hello, hello.
(01:13):
We now have Christy Anderson,okay, so welcome.
Welcome to B3U.
Tell me a little bit aboutyourself, christy, and what do
you do.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
Well, like I said, I'm Christy, I'm from Detroit, I
do a lot of things, butprofessionally I work at a
senior medical facility, I'mpart of the pastor's office, I
am a pastor with my husband inDetroit, michigan, and I am a
(01:45):
mother of three little peoplefive-point tuna 30 yesterday and
I am a worship leader.
Speaker 1 (01:56):
Yes.
So, kirstie, I know that youhave seen and been through,
especially being a pastor,especially being in the medical
field.
Yes, I'm sure you have seen alot.
What are some of yourexperiences with people with
trauma, or maybe trauma of yourown?
What is the biggest thing youcan say about someone who is in
(02:21):
trauma and going through?
What is something that you canshare to encourage them, or what
has encouraged you?
Speaker 2 (02:28):
I would say I just got to speak of a recent trauma
I dealt with and that waspostpartum depression.
Oh let's talk about it.
Postpartum depression let'stalk about it.
That is a big one.
Yes, it really is.
A lot of people don't really, Iknow, back in the day, like my
(02:49):
mom used to say, that wassomething they never was able to
label as something or anything,just like, oh, she's going
crazy or she's just goingthrough that time, you know,
after having a child.
But it is real.
It's real and it started out.
I had my first child in thepandemic 2020, march 2020, march
2020 is when I had her andwhile I was in the hospital,
that's when everything waschanging and I got to hear the
(03:12):
nurses getting the calls on thewalkie-talkie.
I'm like everybody has to bemasked, ducking and right.
Everything was changing andright before she came, I was
able to have like four people inher room.
It went down.
My husband barely made it, ohwow, and I couldn't even record
anything.
My family just had to be on theregular phone to help coach me.
(03:34):
You know all that good stuff.
So I didn't really have anexperience of a first-time mom
that had, you know, other peopleprobably had with your mother
and they'll just be like youknow.
So it was just really so.
It was really different duringthat time.
So, after coming home with her,within that week, my husband
got COVID and I just got homewith the baby so I'm trying to
(03:55):
recover.
So he was locked up in a roomby himself.
I'm with my baby and I'm tryingto learn how to do everything,
you know, by myself.
At that time as a new mom.
My sister was there at first tohelp, but then she got COVID
from her husband.
She owned the home.
So my baby developed colic.
You know, as a first-time momyou'd like kind of, if it was a
(04:17):
hard sleeper.
We stopped being a hard sleeper.
You started hearing every move.
They make everything happening.
So I was a sleepy and I waslike super tired, I was becoming
overwhelmed.
My daughter had, I think, maybelike a milk allergy.
So after, like, starting tobreastfeed after a while I was
kind of switching to the milkbecause it was getting really
tired and so with her transferto the milk the regular we
(04:42):
started to have stomach deaths.
So she was very gassy.
The colic and stuff, I didn'tknow what that was.
So my mom was working at anursing home and she didn't want
to, you know, necessarily bringCOVID there.
She was scared.
She was a what they call anasymptomatic, so she never got
it.
But she can carry it Right.
So her husband got it and shewas like I don't want to come
(05:07):
there, and you know, anybodygets sick.
You got the baby.
It was like a month or twobefore anybody could go to see
the baby after her first day onit.
So, just doing it by myself, Iended up having a postpartum
depression.
You think I couldn't sleep.
She was crying so much and Ididn't know that's what that was
.
Later I had my son.
11 months later I got pregnantwith my second child.
(05:27):
I didn't go to the six-weekbecause you were in pandemics.
Everything is virtual.
I filed down maybe two weeksafter that, out of the space
with myself, had him.
That same year I lost my fatherWow, you know.
(05:55):
So now it's postpartum.
I'm angry, I'm dead away andthat was the light in itself.
Wow had a heart attack, wentinto cardiac arrest.
So then my son came about.
I had a C-section because Ideveloped gestational diabetes
and so I had to have a C-section.
I never had surgery a day of mylife to be cut or something.
That was very like a littlenerve-wracking.
(06:17):
But I started praying.
I started like, okay, lord,this is me and you, I have to do
this.
There's no other way.
So I need you to help, like,just, I'm depending on you to
just really help me with this,mentally and nationally.
So the Lord got me through thattime and even with that I
couldn't really deal with my sontoo much afterwards because I
(06:38):
was still like mentally drainedand tired from your first child
and the postpartum justincreased a bit.
It got so bad to where it wasaffecting my marriage, you know,
because during that time myhusband went through a spiritual
awakening and the prophetic,and he never dealt with the
prophetic so he just he wasgoing around talking to himself
(07:01):
and if I wasn't in a place ofbeing spiritual where I was, he
probably would have been in acrazy house, you know.
So to have a degree but justalready having, you know, being
saved and being in thatlifestyle of knowing about the
prophetic, the warfare andeverything, so what I've gone
through spiritually, mentallymyself.
I had a husband that was goingthrough too, but I had to like
(07:21):
kind of put myself on a backburner and frame.
So it's like so many hats beenworn at this time.
So we moved to Georgia in 22sand I just had the two little
ones.
We was like, okay, detroit isgoing really fast.
Let's try to go somewhereRelocate.
Maybe they had to kind of pokea lot just to slow down.
(07:42):
So we used to kind of figureeverything out.
So it was going pretty goodthere.
By the time December 22 came Ithought I was taking my third
child, okay.
So it was born pretty goodthere.
By the time December 22 came Ithought I was taking my third
child, okay.
So I was kind of getting there,we are getting it in.
We were doing it.
I was like Jesus wait a minuteI'm just getting adjusted,
(08:02):
finally kind of getting settledmentally A little bit was the
two, you know, gettingeverything going and the Lord
brought that third one and Ithank god for my babies I'm
because I was told I could nothave any children.
I was told I could not have notone child and the lord best
with the threes, so I'm thankfulfor that.
(08:22):
Um.
So when the third one came, mybaby boy came, I, um, after
having him, him I had his leg tosee, et cetera I was expected
to do a VBAC.
I went through the whole processand my third try, I found I had
gestation and diabetes and so Ihad to go and this with this
(08:43):
pregnancy, my nerves and myanxiety was kind of high.
I was super aware of a baby inmy belly, to where it was
freaking me out.
I was like, well, I'm not goingcrazy when I think about it.
I was like, oh my God, there'sa baby there and it was just
messing with me, like was thatabout stopping?
I don't know what it was.
I could say it was the enemy,but I don't want to say it was
(09:06):
the enemy, but you know, it wasjust me, but I don't want to say
it was any, but you know it wasjust I was being.
I was aware a lot more and thatpregnancy was a was a struggle,
like it was just the bed.
My babies were big and big eightpounders, 11 pounds was the
second one yes, again last weekwas another eight pounds, the
smallest one I had eight four.
But after having him the doctor, I went into my room to change
(09:30):
over to my little bed afterhaving his C-section and when
they pulled the covers off I washead injured.
I had lost over 3,000milliliters of blood on my and I
didn't know I was dying.
I was laying there, my husbandwas watching me die, so he was
like you see his color here?
That's what he was tellingeverybody.
I didn't see myself.
He would say this is the colorI spotted to take and I'm just
(09:53):
sitting there and it was like wedon't understand how she's
pumpkin this.
She was right now.
My doctor's office was rightacross the trip in the hospital.
She came, she had her BurgerKing breakfast with a lunch
Before the next section at aBurger King in my hand and she
dropped everything Like I needgloves, I need this.
And the nurse I had a nursethat was saved and she was
(10:17):
praying.
My husband was going to point awood today and praying and you
know I just thank God for thatbecause I was literally losing
my life.
They didn't even let her live.
But everything became well.
They got me together and once Igot out of there postpartum, I
hit even a moment to where now Icould hear like my baby was
crying and all he wanted wassomething to eat.
(10:39):
Of course, and I'm just, Iguess I couldn't get it done
fast enough and he, just he hadthis piercing cry and the enemy
I knew it was the enemy thentelling me chomp your baby.
Speaker 1 (10:50):
It was about time.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
And the enemy.
I knew it was the enemy thentelling me chomp your baby.
Those guys are tiny and when myarm got light and I realized it
and I started speaking intongues, I said the devil in
your eye that cause part ofdepression, that's a demon.
I saw that it was literallytrying to cause me to kill my
child, like just to get away.
You'll stop crying then if youjump.
(11:11):
I texted my husband immediatelywhile he was at work.
I said the devil just told meto drop my baby and I said I
realized it.
Then I was able to make senseof it then Because you know,
(11:34):
when your friends they sell you,they give you this care for
work.
Now, when you have a child for adepression, put out a
depression screening, you justgonna check off with everything
because you don't want to.
You know, accept the best.
That's what it is.
But it's really a real thingand it took a little time for me
to kind of I cannot adjust tothe three cans.
I would.
It had me in a case of a beatwhere I feel like I could not do
anything but my children.
I'm like I can't go to thestore, I can't do this, I can't
do that Like I felt like I wasjust lost.
(11:55):
I couldn't do nothing withchildren and I did not have any
kind of control, so I felthelpless, you know.
So after a while my husband wassaying hey, you can do that,
you can do this.
I'm like I can't, I can't.
And it was just one day.
I sat there and I just prayedand I cried out.
I was in worship.
At this point in time, I hadstopped singing.
(12:17):
Worship is really my placewhere the Lord heals me.
If I go through sickness, Ijust worship my way through.
That's how I encourage myselfThrough the word of worship.
I sat in the living room and Iwas just crying.
I was crying.
I said, lord, you have to helpme.
I need you to deliver me fromthis spirit, because I know this
(12:39):
is not a being and it has youfeeling like you're defeated,
like you're by yourself.
There's no hope for you.
Speaker 1 (12:46):
You can't do this, that and that.
So that's the moment like thatis the moment where you were
listening to yourself yes, andyou had to speak out loud and
stop listening to yourself andtalking to yourself like and
talking to God to say I can dothis, lord, help me.
Speaker 2 (13:03):
I can do all this to Christ.
You start getting thosescriptures and I'm telling you
like encouraging yourself.
Speaker 1 (13:09):
Because no one else can do it for you.
I may not understand, like Isaid, your husband was going
through things, so that ispowerful right there, when it's
just you by yourself and youjust say God help, only he can
do it, only he can Surrendering.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
Yeah, surrendering.
That calls for another level ofsurrendering, submitting
yourself to the Lord and justlike literally releasing.
You got to release his head andgo, whatever you was thinking,
you was feeling, because duringthat time of postpartum pitch
you really don't expressyourself as much, you just kind
of take it or you do it, you doit, you do it, you do it, or you
do it.
Or you do it or you do it, youforget about yourself.
(13:49):
So I had to think back.
I had to tell my husband likelook, I'm not myself, I don't
feel like my son.
You kind of feel like you'rehaving this nervous breakdown.
You kind of feel like you'rejust in this place where it's
like I don't know who I amanymore.
And at that point I said, lord,give me my identity back, the
(14:10):
true identity, because probablywho I was before, that I wasn't
always meant to be that personand that's a part of evolving
through life, even as you aspiritual walk, when you like,
you receive the call and youaccept the call of that for your
life.
I didn't know I was going to bein this place of being a caste
state.
You cannot have 12.
I was prophes.
Be in this place of being apastor, you cannot have told me
I was prophesied this cover whenI was a teenager.
(14:30):
I was like, ooh, that's fuckingoff.
You're a pastor, you know.
I have a family full of pastors, evangelists, bishops, apostles
and all that stuff.
That doesn't necessarily meanthat's my calling, but that oil
flowed through my generation so.
Speaker 1 (14:48):
But being here as a pastor, I never would have
thought that, but that's whatthe Lord was preparing me and
see a lot of people think on theoutside, think that pastors or
people who are ordained don't gothrough that but I tell you so
me.
Speaker 2 (15:04):
That's what, that's what really certified you as
being such, and I wouldn't wantto be in their past if I didn't
have to do nothing.
Because how could you teach me?
It's better from experiencethan just oh, I see, somebody
else moved over, you don't know.
I tell you first thing to livethrough postpartum depression,
especially during a time whencan't nobody help you but God,
(15:26):
and it was like I could do nobut call on God.
I was, we was there in Georgia,but I said, if he didn't have
any family close, right closelike that, so I'm in the house
every day, just me and thechildren, me and the children,
it's like okay, you were rightabout that too, because you know
, I had my children in the 90soh, in the 80s.
Speaker 1 (15:45):
At the last, latter part of the 80s, I didn't know
what post part of depression wasand nobody ever treated me for
it.
Nobody ever treated me for it,so I didn't know what it was.
I now do right and I have achild.
I had a daughter that sufferedfrom postpartum and because I
didn't have the knowledge andI'm like what is this postpartum
(16:06):
depression?
And my mom was the same waythat people were talking about.
What is it?
Yeah, they got a name for itnow and it is a serious thing,
like some people have.
Like you said, you heard thatvoice saying drop your baby.
Some people have followedthrough with their voice.
Speaker 2 (16:21):
Literally, because it's like you're not going crazy
and you're like, wait a minute,what?
And if you're not, if you cometo what the enemy is telling you
to do, that's how you thebabies in the garbage can.
Yes, mother love killed thechild, or she done went, you
know, crazy.
Like it would say, local orsomething.
And that's true that it canhappen.
Speaker 1 (16:49):
All it takes is, first of all, education, and
that's where I'm grateful foryou to come on and share your
story, um, as a pastor, woman ofGod, who you know, everybody
looks at you like you'resupposed to be the super woman,
like you know, um, but to sharethis so other young women can
know and men can recognize thatthis is postpartum right and get
, yeah, that helps.
So what you besides your faith,what?
Speaker 2 (17:11):
else helps you.
Um, go through therapy burping.
I did go through therapy.
I went to therapy because wewent, like I said, it kind of
took a tug on my marriage aswell because, like he wasn't
away he never, of course he'sfirst-time father and everything
with every, every child we had.
He never heard of postpartumdepression.
He didn't know what that lookedlike.
Yes, he was like what's wrongwith you, why are you acting
(17:34):
different?
Like look at this other thing.
And that helped even him tohelp educate him and know how to
handle me and not okay, if I'mreacting about something, he
know how to stay calm.
He reacting about something,you know how steakhounds like
it's okay, yeah, it's okay, likeyou know how to deal with you
and not trigger that to evenincrease that that you know
situation even more and to go ina bad way.
(17:56):
But literally just talking itout in therapy.
Um, even doctors are playing.
Go to your doctor, tell yourdoctor.
They tell you that now they nowhave medication off, but I
don't, of course they do.
Yes, of course they got that,but literally it takes it just
like but you feel that off,anything off, at whatever point
it is.
When you do take your baby tothe doctor, doctor, they give
(18:19):
you that screening.
Be honest, if that's how youfeel, you feel like you're by
yourself or you feel angry, youdon't feel happy, you don't feel
like these are important, whatthose questions like, answer
that on that paper so they canget you it's.
They're pretty much going torecommend that for you, you know
, and it's good to just talk itout.
Talk it out because a lot oftimes, if that's all it is,
(18:41):
first of all you're not resting.
Yeah, it's so important to getrest as a new mother, right, if
you're on your fifth car, heneed you for sure, need rest.
Then you need the rest.
I'm saying we use the power ofsleep, it autogymnetic, and
that's natural, you know.
So get me some sleep if you is.
That's why it's so important tohave this village.
(19:03):
Yes, body, it's our own can.
And we were just talking topastor uh jamie about.
I was like well, he's ingeorgia, now what do I say?
Take me back home to my momVillage.
Yes, everybody is on cam.
And we were just talking toPastor Jamie about it.
I was like, well, he's inGeorgia.
Now what do I say?
Take me back home to my mom,take me to my mommy?
Yeah, because before we left mywhole family was involved with
the children.
But when we moved to Georgia Ihad family, but they were not as
close to us, as distant, and myfamily is older on my father's
(19:25):
side, so it's like I reallycan't say hey, he's a truck that
came off.
They were all in half away, youknow.
So we were there kind of likeby ourselves, so it's so good
and the power of family is thereand that's what I, you know.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
when you have a family that is there for you, it
takes a village.
It truly takes a village tohelp raise children, to help get
through some things.
This is why I tell my childrenI know we were in the military,
but I need to come a little bitcloser you know as being settled
and where we act.
You know, and in Virginia youknow, my children, alabama, sure
(20:03):
, north Carolina, but you wantmy you know, I like right now I
have a daughter who's pregnant.
She in North Carolina, almostfive hours away.
Like how am I supposed to helpyou?
But one thing I do say is don'tlet the you know, don't let the
enemy or anything come in andsay, oh, they're too far.
I'm on the phone.
(20:23):
I'm on the phone and I'mencouraging, I'm speaking power,
because my daughter, she's nowpregnant and I tell her you know
, you know what this, how thisis going to go, but you stay
encouraged.
You know that you get sick, butstay encouraged.
Like, don't let your mind takeover to the point where you've
(20:46):
had five.
Already we're on our sixth one.
We know what's going to happen.
She has that family to keep herencouraged and empowered.
But what can we say to thosewho don't have that family?
Speaker 2 (21:02):
I ran into.
We were out to eat and ourwaitress came over.
Just the fact that she saw ourfamily together, she was like I
just love that, I have to seethis.
And she's going through apostpartum discussion and you
know her and the significantother was just going through it
was based off the postpartumdepression, when men don't know,
(21:23):
they just don't know and shedon't really have that.
But she's like the only childknow, they just don't know and
she don't really have that, butshe's like the only child don't
have scurvy anything.
I said we got, we got closefriends.
If you got, you know sheprobably had to find a way to
get they care or something.
I said I'd be connected withher.
Look here I know can't trust.
Everybody said well, let's getto know one another.
(21:45):
We could go, go sit, I bring mychildren and you know we have
us a little time together and wecould be all in the same place.
So you know your children arethere just to get your nine.
Or you know we could be three,me and my sister she's a child
care guy, so, like you, go overthere and watch the kids and you
know, so that we can focus andpart or let her have a day she
(22:09):
can be by herself.
You know, just, I don't knowwhat it's like to not have a
village, but all I can say is,like you had to, there's a
village somewhere because you'reconnected to keeping that
friends, keeping that souls, andyou can just break away for a
little bit.
Now that her child's a littleolder, the father's more
comfortable with dealing withthe baby by himself.
I say, even for older, thefather is more comfortable with
dealing with the baby by himself.
I say even for me the breakawaywas this I could go to a woman,
(22:30):
I could walk on my own, Ididn't have to go shopping,
nothing, just a break by myself.
Sometimes you need that timeCar time, daycare, something to
get you some alone time.
And I had never kept my childin the daycare any day, as early
as 60.
But the basic boys.
I saw her, I made a mug time, Ifed him a fart time.
(22:50):
He wet-ass kicked me.
So they told me go over there.
It was just for my mental, foryour mental.
Speaker 1 (22:56):
Whatever yeah.
Speaker 2 (22:57):
And it's for you for yourself first, but it's also
for your mental health to helpprotect their children.
Yes, some people probably neverwant to start doing anything to
their children, but it can get.
It could get that going andit's.
You know, we're making sure.
Speaker 1 (23:12):
That you have a handle on it, some support, and
I thank you so, so much.
You are amazing.
This was like right on time.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
Because there's a lot of us that's out there
suffering from postpartumdepression and just don't know
what is more education now?
But to let you know that'sexactly what it is.
And I will say real quick, evenif you don't have a village,
like I said, check in with thedoctor, check in with the doctor
, we could go to the hospital,you could go to your children's
out there.
Just let them know what you'redoing, what you're having
communication with somebody, sothey can reach you for help.
So that's also another resourcetoo.
Speaker 1 (23:49):
That's right, that's right thank you so much that,
but you are amazing.
Um, you guys.
I don't know if you guys arehearing this, but one thing that
I took that I heard before isrest.
Yeah, rest is the thing, is thething.
Postpartum work, family,everything, businesses.
(24:14):
Rest is the is is key.
Speaker 2 (24:18):
God is first, absolutely faith is above that,
and even the lord told you torest.
It's in the world to rest.
Self-care is so essential.
Speaker 1 (24:27):
Yes, self-care.
So thank you so much, christy,and Pastor Christy, y'all.
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