April 28, 2025 • 37 mins
Some wounds run so deep they become the foundation of who we are. Ashley's story begins with unimaginable loss – her mother murdered by her father when she was just two years old – yet transforms into a powerful testament to the human capacity for resilience and purpose.
Through raw, honest conversation, Ashley reveals how early tragedy created a pattern that would follow her throughout life, culminating in an abusive relationship that mirrored her childhood trauma. The turning point? A profound moment when her young son's simple words – "You did the right thing, Ma" – awakened her to breaking generational cycles of pain.
Ashley's 21-year military journey began as an escape but became a crucible for her strength, earning her the nickname "Pit Bull" for her unwavering determination. Now a successful PR specialist and business owner, she describes the people who've supported her healing as "healing compasses" – guiding her back to positivity when darkness threatens to overwhelm.
Perhaps most powerful is Ashley's message about facing trauma head-on: "You must face your trauma so you can see in front of you instead of always trying to cover up what was behind you." Her journey demonstrates how vulnerability becomes strength when we stop hiding our wounds and start using them to connect authentically with others.
Whether you're navigating your own trauma or supporting someone who is, Ashley's story offers a roadmap for turning pain into purpose. How might your own challenges become the foundation for something meaningful? Listen now and discover how healing happens when we brave enough to share our whole selves.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello everyone, hello , oh, my God, I'm so excited.
I'm so excited y'all.
Welcome to B3U.
I am your host, marie Charles,and today we have with us my one
and only baby girl, my sisterin arms, ashley, and I'm so glad
(00:20):
she has come on today with usto share her story and enlighten
us and empower us today.
So welcome Ashley to the show.
And where we were, only where.
B3u is talking about how we canheal, grow and what and find our
purpose in life, and so I knowthat today's episode is going to
(00:43):
be amazing, amazing.
So, ms Ashley, she is the ownerof AMB Media, so proud of that,
she's a public relationsspecialist.
You guys, when I tell you, thisyoung lady here is so talented.
I'm so blessed that she hasgiven us the opportunity to
(01:06):
share her story, and she is amother of two beautiful
B-E-A-U-T-ful children, whichone of them I love so much.
He hates to see me comingbecause I yell his name, but
anyway.
So, miss Ashley, welcome,welcome, welcome.
(01:27):
Tell me, tell me, tell me alittle bit, just give me a
little background about yourself, even though I already
introduced you.
Just tell us a little bit aboutyour story.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
You said a little bit about my story or about me.
Just a little bit about you.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Like a little bit about you.
What else me just a little bitabout you.
Like a little bit about you.
What else did I miss?
Something is something I missed, is something you want to share
I'm retired military.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
I did almost 21 years um.
That's where we met.
Of course, got on your nervefor about a year straight, so we
finally just became sisters,you know um yeah, I think I
adopted you immediately.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
I think I adopted you immediately.
I was like I love her.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
She's so mean, I mean , oh, I mean cute plus your kids
love me, so you had no choiceso that's true.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
That's true.
Yes, so you are.
You are a retired veteran.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Yes, um, of course, like you said, I have two kids.
I have my own um media company.
Um, I do pr, but in that realmit's a lot to what I do like I
style people.
You know that.
Um, uh, I help like upcomingbusinesses with like their
(02:42):
social media posts, like shouldwe do this now?
When should we do this?
Help them come up withdifferent schedules and things
like that.
And what I do the most reallyis kind of like um, the best way
to say it is I'm the cleanupperson, so it's like you know
there's something going on withyou in the negative realm then
(03:02):
then I help to shine light onthe positive things you're doing
or help find ways to fix it andbring you back into that.
Everybody's human.
People have things that happento them and people just need to
realize that everybody's humanand there are good things about
everybody.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Again, I thank you for taking your time out.
You are hailing from Georgia.
What part of Georgia?
Speaker 2 (03:27):
I am currently in Fort Benning, Georgia.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
Fort Benning.
Fort Benning, Georgia, that'sright.
So what I would like to, how Iwould like to, just can you tell
us a little bit about yourstory.
You know what your emotional,physical trauma is and how are
you overcoming it.
How are you?
Are you still going through it?
How are you going about that?
(03:51):
Now, tell us a little bit aboutokay.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
So I promised that I would be an open book.
Uh, there is a part of my story.
I think only you, maybe, uh, mybestie, and maybe my boyfriend
only.
No, there are not many peoplein my life that actually know
this story, because I don'treally open up about it.
But my trauma kind of started.
(04:16):
Well, the mini traumas kind ofreally started in my childhood,
when I was two.
So when I was two, my motherwas murdered by someone in our
family, um, someone very closeto us, which you know.
Why not just be transparent?
When I was two, my fatherkilled my mother.
Um, he was very I don't want tosay he was very angry, because
(04:40):
it was never towards us, but hewas with her.
Her, he was more or less likeyou're mine, you're gonna be
mine.
Um, it was the day she came topick me and my sister up and he
basically ran us off the road.
So with that she was pregnant.
Um, her and the baby passedaway that day.
Um, we had minor scratches orwhatever like that.
(05:02):
But, um, from there it's like Ifeel like that's where my
trauma started.
But then that's when myblessings began too, because at
that point, instead of having togo into like homes and things
like that.
We had an aunt, who I call momnow, who stepped in and she took
(05:22):
me and my sister.
Now I have two other brothersthat I never understood why, but
they stayed with my dad becauseI guess they were not as
usually daddy's little girls,but for them it was.
That's their dad.
This is Nat, and we didn'treally know the story of what
happened until we got older.
(05:43):
To be honest, like, um, I don'tthink anybody ever told me what
actually happened to my motheruntil I was in middle school.
How old were you again?
How old were you when my motherpassed?
Yes, you were what?
Two, and my sister was five.
Okay, we ran the car.
Um, sister still has like vividmemories of the story or
(06:07):
whatever.
She's still kind of sometimesin cars.
You can see her, like you know,clenching up a little bit, but
it's, you know, things we haveto deal with and every now and
again I have my moments in cars.
But it took me a long time torealize why that happens to me.
Um, but yeah, so my traumareally started when I was a
(06:27):
child because of that situationand then it kind of just like
the snowball effect, it startedrolling downhill to getting
bigger and bigger and bigger andbigger and bigger, but with all
of my trauma.
Like I said, I always had, um,what I call them is, uh, like
how do you say it?
People came into my life.
(06:47):
They were like healing slash,like strength compasses.
Like they came into my life andbecause of how they love me or
because of how they were alwaysthere for me or I can always
talk to them, they were like acompass where they always guided
me and directed me towards thepositive side of things.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
Okay.
Was it ever a moment where youhit, would you say, from your
past trauma?
Was it ever a moment in yourlife where you would say you hit
rock bottom and how did youstart climbing out of that
trauma?
Speaker 2 (07:28):
There really was In this particular situation.
I don't like to give that demonany airtime or acknowledgement
but it is part of my trauma.
I caught myself dealing withsomebody that was just like my
father.
After learning the whole storyof what actually did happen, I
(07:52):
caught myself dealing withsomeone just like him and that's
when that particularrelationship I was rock bottom
because to me I was basicallytrying to convince myself that
it's okay, it's my fault, thisis the reason he's doing this.
It was a horrible experience.
It was a very bad domesticviolence relationship that I was
(08:12):
in.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
Yeah, yeah.
Look, we, as women, we go, weexperience some things.
Some things I tell you.
And first I just want toapplaud your strength and I want
to thank you for yourtransparency and what in your
healing journey?
What was the most surprisingpart of your healing process?
(08:38):
When did you start to noticeyourself like, okay, I've been
through these things because youknow, at first you, you know,
your mom was murdered.
You went through that wholetrauma.
Then your aunt did you say youraunt?
Yes, ma'am, your aunt, who isnow your mother?
You know you've been dealt withthat.
And what age did you?
(08:59):
Let me ask you, what age didyou join the military?
Speaker 2 (09:01):
What age did you join the military Fresh out of high
school.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
I think I was 17.
Why did you join the military?
Did your trauma have anythingto do with that do?
Speaker 2 (09:12):
you think my petty side had everything to do with
me joining the military.
So I had a basketball coach whotold me that my attitude was
horrible and that I was not.
Nobody could tell me what to do.
There isn't.
There isn't a person out therethat can shape me and mold me
and tell me what to do.
But my mom and I was like, ohokay, let me prove you wrong,
(09:36):
went to the military, gotthrough basic training.
Then I'm talking about everytime I was in St Louis I was at
the gym.
I'm like still in homie, stillin.
So the reason I joined themilitary was really being petty.
But on top of the fact, if Ihave to be completely honest,
(09:59):
was I was really running awayfrom where I was, because I
don't know if you know where I'mfrom, but who's not really you?
Speaker 1 (10:09):
know St Louis, so our viewers don't know where you're
from.
Our listeners don't know whereyou're from, so where are you
from?
Speaker 2 (10:15):
I am from St Louis, missouri, by the way of East St
Louis Illinois, okay, but listen, I really think joining it was
my way of not just being pettyfor that coach, because he was
just one person.
But just really was trying toget away from all of that.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Get away from running away from the craziness of
where I lived and having to seeall the craziness that we did
see where I was from.
Okay, would you say themilitary helped you in any way
with, uh, the things that you'vebeen through in the past.
Let me ask you first, do youhave any memories of your mom?
Do you have?
Speaker 2 (10:59):
I do so.
Uh, my mom, now aunt, who Icall mom.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
I'll call her.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
And I'll be like Ma, do you remember when such and
such and such?
And she'll just start laughing.
She'll be like that wasn't mebaby, that was your mom.
And I'll be like oh for real.
Like I was literally two yearsold and I can remember doing
stuff.
I don't know why it's like stuckin my head, but I can remember
having an earring stuck in myear and having somebody and I'm
(11:28):
talking about digging in my earand somebody you'll be all right
, stop whining.
And I told my aunt I'm likehope, why would you do that to
me?
Like we were on the phoneplaying about I said why would
you do that to me?
I knew you didn't like me.
She's like girl.
That was me on the other sidesaying you'll be all right, but
there was your mama pulling theearring out.
My mother was literally pullingthe little pearl earrings they
(11:49):
used to put on kids.
Y'all don't put the earrings onthem, baby, they get stuck
Pearl earrings.
I had in my ear Some kind ofjammed in my ear and she had
tweezers and just was pulling itout.
And I still remember thatbecause it's like I haven't worn
(12:11):
a small earring since, right sothe joining uh 17 join the
military.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
would you say that you're, even though you joined
for a different reason.
Would you say the military wasa part of strengthening you?
Because I know, like for me,you know, and my trauma joining
the military I was also runningaway, you know, from things like
(12:42):
something had to give and forme, the military kind of gave me
that skill, the leadershipskill and the skill that I have
today.
So would you say that themilitary helped you heal.
By any way, I know it added onsome things, that I do know I
know it added on some things,but would you say that the
(13:03):
military kind of strengthenedyou and and put you on a
different journey?
Speaker 2 (13:11):
and let's talk about the, the military aspect of life
um, to be honest, yes, and it'scrazy because I joined the
military in 2000.
It's 2025 and I still to thisday.
You know, anybody knows me,know, I have a horrible memory.
I can't remember what happenedyesterday, I think that's every
last one.
(13:35):
I can to this day remember DrillSergeant Meredith.
I can't believe I don't have aclue what his first name was,
but Drill Sergeant Meredith,little bitty dude, he was
smaller than me and he wouldtell me all the time about my
attitude.
Check your attitude, brown,check your attitude.
Then one day we were I day, wewere, I think we were cleaning
weapons and he just came overthere to one of me and my other
(13:55):
battle buddy she was from NewYork, had same attitude as me
and everything and, um, hebasically took his hat off.
So it's more or less like I'mgonna talk to y'all, like y'all
are people.
He took his hat off and he waslike y'all know, everybody has a
past, but the goal the the gymis will that past break you,
(14:18):
will it tear you down or will itmake you stronger?
He was like remember that,never let that go.
If you don't let that go, youwill retire from this right here
.
There is nothing that canhappen in this or your outside
world that can mess you up tothe point where you can't get
over it.
And I'm like I've held on tothat and all the stuff that
happened to me in the militarytoday and, you know, kept
(14:40):
holding on to that because justbeing uh, I had so many strikes
going up against me being in themilitary anyway as a black
female.
Two strikes, and then, if youknow me, you know I don't play.
Oh yes, ma'am, I am not like.
(15:03):
I am not backing down If I knowthat what I am trying to say is
the correct way is right, it'swhat should be done.
You're going to listen andwe're going to do it how I said
do it because this is the rightway to do it.
I don't care who you are, Idon't care.
If you're 7,000 pounds andyou're standing over me, I will
get however many ladders I needto get up on, so we can be right
(15:25):
here.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
Right, right, right.
You know what Is that againstme?
Yeah, as as best, I think, asuh, women in the military period
when we get in there, becausewe are a woman, like we have to
be, like you're gonna listen tome, damn it, you're gonna listen
because I know his name is.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
It was crazy and it followed me from a private all
the way up until I retired.
I was known as the pit bull.
Even when I became a drillsergeant is oh, go to pit bull,
and I hated it.
I used to think in my head likewhy are they referring to me
like I'm a dog?
Let me cuss them out, call meno dog or whatever, but when you
think about it like think abouta pit bull you can be the size
(16:10):
of a semi truck.
That pit bull is not backingdown to you If you have pissed
that pit bull off or you come inat pit bulls territory they.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
You seen all of their teeth and everything else.
So I mean, I understand, Iunderstand.
So let me ask you was it any?
If you could think about, thinkabout something that aided you
or assisted you in yourbreakthrough?
What role did someone oranything play in helping you
through your breakthrough?
(16:46):
We all still go through trialsand tribulations and it's like
stepping stones.
As I always tell, as I alwaystell people, life is like
building blocks.
When you have one trial andtribulation, you get through
that and then you go on throughthe next thing.
But you always try to make surethat you don't repeat any of
(17:09):
your mistakes in the past, surethat you don't repeat any of
your mistakes in the past.
And I know, for me, a lot of mybreakthroughs would be either
from close family, closerelative or military, or or my
therapy, which I I am.
(17:29):
So b3u is about, you know,survivors, survivors going
through, uh, emotional andphysical trauma like how are we
surviving?
What, what, what would you sayis, or what would you say?
Or who would you say is theperson that reminds you or keeps
(17:51):
putting that fuel in Ashley, tosay, okay, I got to do another
day, cause, like I tell people,I wake up every morning and it's
not easy being brave.
I have to talk to myself on adaily.
What do you do?
Speaker 2 (18:05):
Um, so, to me, first first is God.
This is one thing I've alwaysI've had always come in and out
of my life and do good and bador whatever, but when I sit and
just think about everything,even though I straight away, god
(18:25):
has always been there.
If it's ever been a thing whereI'm like God, how am I going to
like literally what you say isoh my God, how am I going to do
this?
Right, he always literally andnot to preach, but he's always
been on time, no matter what.
Hasn't been when I wanted it tohappen, but has been when it
needed to happen, when it wasRight.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
For my viewers, for our viewers, for my viewers, for
our viewers.
Let me ask you this did youever feel like you was alone
going through your trials andtribulations.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
Did you ever be like?
Oh, I know, in times where Iliterally and like you can ask
um, you can ask my kids, becauseI and I tell them and I catch
them doing it sometimes is,sometimes you gotta talk to god,
like he's sitting there rightwith you, like you know,
sometimes you gotta be like god,listen, like he's sitting there
right with you, like you know,like God, listen now, hold up,
now, what, what?
what just happened right here?
You got to explain this to me.
Like you have to act, likeyou're literally he's with you
(19:19):
and I catch them doing that andit's been sometimes where I'll
be sitting down.
I'm like now, hold up, god,this was going to happen to me.
Like what in the world?
I like, okay, are you, are weplaying a prank or something
right now?
Because you know I don't likepranks, so I I feel like that.
You know, I have to just talkto him sometimes.
(19:41):
But it's not just mybreakthrough is not just keeping
God first, it's literally likesmall things, like my children.
I wake up and you know howJosiah is.
Josiah is petty as I don't knowwhat, but he is the sweetest
person in the world and he justlike I don't even have to tell
(20:03):
him if something's wrong, likeit was days when I'm just down
and depressed and don't want todo anything and I'll get up
because I'm like I got tobreakfast, I'll get up.
He in the kitchen, he got musicblasting, he whipping up some
pancakes, he doing that and hecleaning up.
He'd already woke his sister up, made her brush her teeth and
like he just keeps the the flowmoving.
(20:25):
And then it's my daughter.
I don't, I don't, she's, we,just we just look.
She's a sour patch kid, I canjust say that, but she just it's
like because you know how weput on that face so nobody knows
anything is wrong.
Yes, ma'am, all too familiarLooking at you.
But my daughter sometimes Icould be sitting here like just
(20:46):
crying in the inside, just wantto break completely down.
She'll come here, she'll lookat me for a second, like she
does this little squinty lookand she'll give me a hug and
she'll lean back, analyzing,lean back and she's like I love
you and walk off like I don'twant to bother with you, I'm
just letting y'all love you.
Okay, that's like you know allright keeps me going.
(21:08):
And then I have, like I have you, I got keisha, I got quarter, I
got oh, I got people that I canjust like.
Y'all don't even have to knowsomething's wrong with me if I
call, literally, y'all gonna saysomething to make me laugh,
y'all gonna say something makeme forget, whatever the
situation is, without me evenhave to tell y'all that
something is wrong with me.
It's just like I said.
Y'all are like my healing andstrength compasses.
(21:31):
Y'all always steer me back togo back over this positive side,
go back over to the funny.
You go back over here.
Don't go over to this side,that'll cut somebody.
Go back over.
You know what I'm saying Allright, all right.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
So it's awesome that you mentioned your significant
other.
It's awesome that you mentionedyour significant other because
I want to talk about how youknow finding a purpose through
your pain.
How did your trauma shape yoursense of purpose or how did it
(22:06):
help you find it and I know youjust mentioned all these awesome
people, or you know so howfinding your purpose through
your pain is is, would you say,your significant other or what's
?
What's the purpose?
Speaker 2 (22:18):
my significant other.
We just started off as justreally, really cool and I don't
know you know how you just findsomebody that just gets you,
that just understands and thingsdon't need.
You know how you just findsomebody that just gets you,
that just understands, andthings don't need to be said,
they're already just yeahaccepts you for who you are.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
Does he accept you for who you are, although you?
Speaker 2 (22:42):
have no matter what.
It is like no matter.
And he, he came into my lifewhen I was at a point like ugh,
I hate me and like I just wantto slip cut him real quick.
So you don't even know it's mecutting him, but I mean it
literally.
It took, to be honest, mysister telling her that I think
(23:06):
I like him.
I'm not sure.
She was like well, you eithergoing to be a punk or you just
don't keep staring at him.
I'm like, oh, and everybody.
She was like well, you'reeither going to be a punk or
you're just going to keepstaring at him.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
I'm like oh and everybody knows, don't call me
out, because I will do it, don'tmove.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
Anybody knows, wow, lord.
Well, that's a whole other story, because I will do it, you will
.
I'm on the limb.
It's crazy because we both cameinto each other's lives when we
were both literally just downat our lowest, with no
expectation from either.
No well, this got to happen.
No, this is now.
We both had, like, our guardsup, but we just get each other
(23:43):
and before we knew it, ourguards were down.
We care about nothing else andwe just.
We don't have to worry aboutanything Like.
If he tell me he goes to aparty with 200 people and he's
the only male, we don't have toworry about anything like.
If he tell me he going to aparty with 200 people and he's
the only male, I don't care, butanybody else, I'll talk to him.
Turn your location on whennobody got time for that.
(24:05):
I don't trust you right, right.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
So, besides what, your, your awesome, significant
or other big shout out to CarterI love him to death.
Look, this guy has won hisfitness journey.
I couldn't keep up.
Look, I was working out withhim and everything fell apart.
I guess my body was like you'retoo old for you to sit down and
go to the geriatric.
(24:29):
Don't be doing my baby likethis.
No, I mean, he was good, he wasgetting serious about his craft
and I can appreciate that.
So he's uh, uh, one of thepurposes, uh, but finding your
purpose through your pain.
So I know you have the am a, mb, you have your, your beautiful
(24:50):
children, you have yourbeautiful significant other,
your boyfriend or whatever, what.
What was that turning point inyour life that you, you said
okay, what?
How did you find your purpose?
How did Ashley come in to say,okay, matter of fact, let me ask
(25:12):
it like this when did you findyour purpose?
When did you find that purpose?
When did you say that's it,right there?
Speaker 2 (25:20):
so it was honestly, uh, josiah, he, um, after
dealing with that demon, he camein there.
He came in the room um, I waschanging Skylar, getting her
ready or whatever, and he wasyoung, I don't even think he was
11 yet and um came and took herfrom me.
(25:40):
He was like I got her.
He used to always take her inhis room or whatever, just to
give me some me time, orwhatever.
He came in there and he pat meon the back.
He was like you did the rightthing, ma he's like you got this
.
And I was like you know what Ido this?
Right, I'm gonna let that demontake me to a point of where I
can't be here for my kidsphysically, but I'm not here for
(26:03):
my kids, right, I can't bringthem down because of that.
You know what?
I'm saying and after that I'm.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
What are some things that you did?
Okay.
So, josiah, is that the pointwhere you started to branch out,
to say like I want more, I gotto do more.
Speaker 2 (26:25):
I actually started believing in myself more,
because that situation was notjust physically abusive, it was
mentally, it was verbally, itwas all of that.
So I was at a point where Iwasn't really believing in
myself.
I didn't think I could do this.
I didn't think I could do that,knowing I could, because if you
(26:48):
think about the clientele I hadat the time that I just let go
of because you got, we're goingto say Satan over here telling
you you ain't good enough, youcan't do this, this and that.
And I literally, literally.
This is like crazy, but Iliterally went from like 100 and
(27:08):
I think I was 169 pounds to 220.
Wow, just you know what I'msaying, like literally.
So after Sia's little you knowbasically telling me Ma get off
your ass.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
What is wrong with you, right?
Speaker 2 (27:27):
What is wrong with you?
I start, we start walking.
I would take the kids and wewould get in, put her Skylar in
the stroller, sia, we do walks,or whatever.
And then when Skylar's atdaycare, me and Sia would go run
because saya is a runner, oh mygod, we would go run.
Just do stuff like that once Istarted, you know, getting back
in shape or whatever.
And and that's when you startedwalking into it, like opening
(27:50):
little doors to find I waswalking through like
opportunities, and this is that,and that brought me to one of
the biggest opportunities I had,was it?
It walked me right into workingwith Jagged Edge and I'm like,
you know, like right, okay, well, is that is that the one I
(28:14):
called the different?
Speaker 1 (28:15):
or was that another group?
Please, you know what do I callthem?
Look, Jagged Edge, I want totake the time and apologize to
you right now.
Look, I apologize for callingyou next.
It was a little joke.
I y'all know no joke when youhear joke.
My apologies, jagged edge.
That was still my boy.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
Oh okay, go ahead and it ran me into the opportunity
of working with kyle fromjaggedars and I just he was
another really positive part inmy life because he was going
through something but he neverlet it leak into us like he had
bad stuff going on, but healways says something positive
(28:56):
to me, like, uh, what you actinglike?
You can't do that, for youalready know you can do that.
What are you waiting on?
like literally, like he was thebrother, his, the brother, talk
he didn't nothing with me, likenothing, like literally, uh,
because he called me momo, uhmomo, get off your ass.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
What you waiting on?
Why haven't you done thisalready?
Speaker 2 (29:14):
you know, and then it just kept going on and on and
on until now, working with, likeuh, former I literally work for
.
Well, he says we're partners,but I literally work for now, a
super bowl champ, brian hall,from the um baltimore ravens I.
I work with him, hand in handin his company, and it just
(29:35):
keeps opening up more and moredoors to where it's like I can't
do this.
And carter pours it to me allthe time.
He is literally the reason why,like I was telling you the
other day, I registered mybusiness and got my llc and my
yeah, he told me he's like he,carter, don't hold nothing
either.
Sugarcoat, nothing.
(30:02):
Part of it's like so you got abusiness, you've been running
the business, you've been doingthis.
What you waiting on to registerit?
I'm like okay exactly, exactly.
Speaker 1 (30:14):
So, okay, what is something that you could tell
the viewers that you wish morepeople understood about trauma,
like, how would you tellsomebody to protect their peace
and energy?
Now, now that you're in yourwalk, listeners, our viewers, to
(30:42):
empower them through their,their walk, their trauma, their
trials and tribulations um, Ithink what people need to
realize is relatability.
Speaker 2 (30:53):
Is that a word?
That's a word?
Right?
Relatability is it's not.
Like it's the word, so we'regonna.
If it's not, hey guys, I justmade that up.
Relatability is important.
Like people are think thatnobody's gonna understand my
story, so I got to keep on thismask, I got to keep on this face
(31:17):
that I'm okay, there's nothingwrong with me.
But what people fail to realizeis you have people out there
that look at you like you're ahero.
They look at you like they'reso strong, they're this, this
and that, once they realize thatyou, you are human too.
You go through the same stuffthey're going through.
You are doing this, this andthat, but you're still in some
way, in their eyes, making itlike it will open up so many
(31:43):
doors.
Like I am very personable, likeI keep everything in, I don't
talk about anything.
I think that's one downfall ofthe military.
It has basically numbed us.
A lot of us Like when it comesto death, like I don't really
deal with death, I just kind oftake it and put it in the back
of my head.
(32:03):
I'm like OK, this person passed, I'm sad, and they just leave
it at that, because in my head Ican't show that weakness
because I ought to be there forthem, so I don't have time to
break down.
If I break down, then how am Ihelping them heal?
You know what I'm saying.
(32:24):
So I think people need to backto what you asked me.
But I think people need torealize that it's OK to talk
about your trauma you it's.
It makes it worse on you themore you hold it.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
That is true, that is so true, a boiling pot, right?
Speaker 2 (32:39):
You put the top on it , then it explodes.
Yes, yes, ma'am, explode.
And when you get to that pointwhere you about to explode, then
that's when you make it worse,because you tearing up bridges
and relationships and you know.
So be okay to address yourtrauma.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
Yes, yes, ma'am, I totally agree with that.
I spent many, many years, manyyears masking, hiding through my
trauma and, as you well know,2023 or 20 into 24 was my
breaking point and I knew I hadto get help.
(33:19):
Remember that call in theairport we ain't going to talk
about that.
Let me tell you look, theAtlanta airport, that is one
place you do not.
If you are facing any trauma,do not fly through Atlanta
airport, because you willdefinitely want to take heads
off.
Those are some of the most rudepeople in Atlanta airport.
(33:41):
Look, I'm going to talk aboutthem now.
Atlanta workers are rude.
They don't like my grandson say, they don't care, they don't
care.
But yeah, so when you'remasking and hiding behind Trump,
you are so right that thatbecomes a boiling pot.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
And then you, just before you know it, what you
fail to realize is you're addingmore trauma on top of the
trauma, and then, when it'sself-inflicted, you're doing
that.
Speaker 1 (34:14):
You can't blame nobody else you're doing right,
I'm telling you, I used towonder why they would try to
send you know how, how they tryto send us to those PTSD clinics
and face your trauma.
I'm like what am I going toface it?
For I don't want to face it.
It's trauma.
I want to forget about it.
Like, teach me how to forgetabout it.
But I finally came intorealization that you must face
(34:37):
your trauma, whatever that is,head on, so you can see in front
of you instead of always tryingto cover up what was behind you
.
So I totally, totally, totallyagree with that.
So what's next for you, msAshley?
What's next for you and how areyou using your voice today to
help others?
Speaker 2 (34:57):
What's next for me is , honestly, something that I
have been praying for.
I'm so sorry.
My dog hears them mowing thelawn and he about to start
barking.
Um, what's next for me issomething that I've been praying
for.
Not only is it patience, but tolearn to forgive, because there
(35:21):
are people that I I just Ihaven't forgave it like I know I
need to, but I'm human that'sright and I don't know one step
at a time, one step at a time,to move off the step that I'm on
(35:42):
.
Speaker 1 (35:43):
That's right what somebody says how do?
You?
Said to me one time, how do youeat an elephant?
I thought about it, I thoughtabout it.
I was like, well, I would haveto do that one bite at a time
and it didn't even click to methat oh oh, oh, okay, okay, yeah
, that's how you live life.
So, ashley, one, one bite at atime.
We're not human.
Another thing that we have tolearn is that we are not the
(36:06):
most high, we are not God, so weare imperfect.
You know we were made his image,yes, but there are things that
take some time to heal or somepeople to forgive.
So I totally understand thatand I thank you for coming on
with me today and sharing yourexperience.
Come on B3U.
(36:27):
And as for my audience, I hopeand I pray that you enjoyed this
podcast with Miss Ashley.
She is amazing.
Is it anything, Ashley, thatyou would want to put out to our
listeners or our viewers forthem to follow you somewhere?
Do you have a website?
Speaker 2 (36:47):
I'm still working on all of it.
Speaker 1 (36:49):
You're still working on it.
Okay Well, look.
Okay Well, look.
Miss Ashley, thank you so much.
My sister, my friend, my heartand my soul, I thank you for
coming on B3U with me today,just giving our viewers a little
bit of insight on your pain andhow you turned your pain into
power, how you burned, break andare becoming unstoppable and
(37:16):
successful.
You, I wish nothing but thebest.
My sister, my sister and I willbe watching you, as I know you
will be watching me, so we'll bewatching each other.
So, B3U, thank you, my viewers,for coming out and listening to
the show today, and we will seeyou again next week with
another awesome, awesome eventor show.
(37:40):
So we'll see you then.
Hello everyone, hello , oh, my God, I'm so excited.
I'm so excited y'all.
Welcome to B3U.
I am your host, marie Charles,and today we have with us my one
and only baby girl, my sisterin arms, ashley, and I'm so glad
(00:20):
she has come on today with usto share her story and enlighten
us and empower us today.
So welcome Ashley to the show.
And where we were, only where.
B3u is talking about how we canheal, grow and what and find our
purpose in life, and so I knowthat today's episode is going to
(00:43):
be amazing, amazing.
So, ms Ashley, she is the ownerof AMB Media, so proud of that,
she's a public relationsspecialist.
You guys, when I tell you, thisyoung lady here is so talented.
I'm so blessed that she hasgiven us the opportunity to
(01:06):
share her story, and she is amother of two beautiful
B-E-A-U-T-ful children, whichone of them I love so much.
He hates to see me comingbecause I yell his name, but
anyway.
So, miss Ashley, welcome,welcome, welcome.
(01:27):
Tell me, tell me, tell me alittle bit, just give me a
little background about yourself, even though I already
introduced you.
Just tell us a little bit aboutyour story.
Speaker 2 (01:40):
You said a little bit about my story or about me.
Just a little bit about you.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
Like a little bit about you.
What else me just a little bitabout you.
Like a little bit about you.
What else did I miss?
Something is something I missed, is something you want to share
I'm retired military.
Speaker 2 (01:52):
I did almost 21 years um.
That's where we met.
Of course, got on your nervefor about a year straight, so we
finally just became sisters,you know um yeah, I think I
adopted you immediately.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
I think I adopted you immediately.
I was like I love her.
Speaker 2 (02:10):
She's so mean, I mean , oh, I mean cute plus your kids
love me, so you had no choiceso that's true.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
That's true.
Yes, so you are.
You are a retired veteran.
Speaker 2 (02:22):
Yes, um, of course, like you said, I have two kids.
I have my own um media company.
Um, I do pr, but in that realmit's a lot to what I do like I
style people.
You know that.
Um, uh, I help like upcomingbusinesses with like their
(02:42):
social media posts, like shouldwe do this now?
When should we do this?
Help them come up withdifferent schedules and things
like that.
And what I do the most reallyis kind of like um, the best way
to say it is I'm the cleanupperson, so it's like you know
there's something going on withyou in the negative realm then
(03:02):
then I help to shine light onthe positive things you're doing
or help find ways to fix it andbring you back into that.
Everybody's human.
People have things that happento them and people just need to
realize that everybody's humanand there are good things about
everybody.
Speaker 1 (03:18):
Again, I thank you for taking your time out.
You are hailing from Georgia.
What part of Georgia?
Speaker 2 (03:27):
I am currently in Fort Benning, Georgia.
Speaker 1 (03:30):
Fort Benning.
Fort Benning, Georgia, that'sright.
So what I would like to, how Iwould like to, just can you tell
us a little bit about yourstory.
You know what your emotional,physical trauma is and how are
you overcoming it.
How are you?
Are you still going through it?
How are you going about that?
(03:51):
Now, tell us a little bit aboutokay.
Speaker 2 (03:53):
So I promised that I would be an open book.
Uh, there is a part of my story.
I think only you, maybe, uh, mybestie, and maybe my boyfriend
only.
No, there are not many peoplein my life that actually know
this story, because I don'treally open up about it.
But my trauma kind of started.
(04:16):
Well, the mini traumas kind ofreally started in my childhood,
when I was two.
So when I was two, my motherwas murdered by someone in our
family, um, someone very closeto us, which you know.
Why not just be transparent?
When I was two, my fatherkilled my mother.
Um, he was very I don't want tosay he was very angry, because
(04:40):
it was never towards us, but hewas with her.
Her, he was more or less likeyou're mine, you're gonna be
mine.
Um, it was the day she came topick me and my sister up and he
basically ran us off the road.
So with that she was pregnant.
Um, her and the baby passedaway that day.
Um, we had minor scratches orwhatever like that.
(05:02):
But, um, from there it's like Ifeel like that's where my
trauma started.
But then that's when myblessings began too, because at
that point, instead of having togo into like homes and things
like that.
We had an aunt, who I call momnow, who stepped in and she took
(05:22):
me and my sister.
Now I have two other brothersthat I never understood why, but
they stayed with my dad becauseI guess they were not as
usually daddy's little girls,but for them it was.
That's their dad.
This is Nat, and we didn'treally know the story of what
happened until we got older.
(05:43):
To be honest, like, um, I don'tthink anybody ever told me what
actually happened to my motheruntil I was in middle school.
How old were you again?
How old were you when my motherpassed?
Yes, you were what?
Two, and my sister was five.
Okay, we ran the car.
Um, sister still has like vividmemories of the story or
(06:07):
whatever.
She's still kind of sometimesin cars.
You can see her, like you know,clenching up a little bit, but
it's, you know, things we haveto deal with and every now and
again I have my moments in cars.
But it took me a long time torealize why that happens to me.
Um, but yeah, so my traumareally started when I was a
(06:27):
child because of that situationand then it kind of just like
the snowball effect, it startedrolling downhill to getting
bigger and bigger and bigger andbigger and bigger, but with all
of my trauma.
Like I said, I always had, um,what I call them is, uh, like
how do you say it?
People came into my life.
(06:47):
They were like healing slash,like strength compasses.
Like they came into my life andbecause of how they love me or
because of how they were alwaysthere for me or I can always
talk to them, they were like acompass where they always guided
me and directed me towards thepositive side of things.
Speaker 1 (07:08):
Okay.
Was it ever a moment where youhit, would you say, from your
past trauma?
Was it ever a moment in yourlife where you would say you hit
rock bottom and how did youstart climbing out of that
trauma?
Speaker 2 (07:28):
There really was In this particular situation.
I don't like to give that demonany airtime or acknowledgement
but it is part of my trauma.
I caught myself dealing withsomebody that was just like my
father.
After learning the whole storyof what actually did happen, I
(07:52):
caught myself dealing withsomeone just like him and that's
when that particularrelationship I was rock bottom
because to me I was basicallytrying to convince myself that
it's okay, it's my fault, thisis the reason he's doing this.
It was a horrible experience.
It was a very bad domesticviolence relationship that I was
(08:12):
in.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
Yeah, yeah.
Look, we, as women, we go, weexperience some things.
Some things I tell you.
And first I just want toapplaud your strength and I want
to thank you for yourtransparency and what in your
healing journey?
What was the most surprisingpart of your healing process?
(08:38):
When did you start to noticeyourself like, okay, I've been
through these things because youknow, at first you, you know,
your mom was murdered.
You went through that wholetrauma.
Then your aunt did you say youraunt?
Yes, ma'am, your aunt, who isnow your mother?
You know you've been dealt withthat.
And what age did you?
(08:59):
Let me ask you, what age didyou join the military?
Speaker 2 (09:01):
What age did you join the military Fresh out of high
school.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
I think I was 17.
Why did you join the military?
Did your trauma have anythingto do with that do?
Speaker 2 (09:12):
you think my petty side had everything to do with
me joining the military.
So I had a basketball coach whotold me that my attitude was
horrible and that I was not.
Nobody could tell me what to do.
There isn't.
There isn't a person out therethat can shape me and mold me
and tell me what to do.
But my mom and I was like, ohokay, let me prove you wrong,
(09:36):
went to the military, gotthrough basic training.
Then I'm talking about everytime I was in St Louis I was at
the gym.
I'm like still in homie, stillin.
So the reason I joined themilitary was really being petty.
But on top of the fact, if Ihave to be completely honest,
(09:59):
was I was really running awayfrom where I was, because I
don't know if you know where I'mfrom, but who's not really you?
Speaker 1 (10:09):
know St Louis, so our viewers don't know where you're
from.
Our listeners don't know whereyou're from, so where are you
from?
Speaker 2 (10:15):
I am from St Louis, missouri, by the way of East St
Louis Illinois, okay, but listen, I really think joining it was
my way of not just being pettyfor that coach, because he was
just one person.
But just really was trying toget away from all of that.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Get away from running away from the craziness of
where I lived and having to seeall the craziness that we did
see where I was from.
Okay, would you say themilitary helped you in any way
with, uh, the things that you'vebeen through in the past.
Let me ask you first, do youhave any memories of your mom?
Do you have?
Speaker 2 (10:59):
I do so.
Uh, my mom, now aunt, who Icall mom.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
I'll call her.
Speaker 2 (11:04):
And I'll be like Ma, do you remember when such and
such and such?
And she'll just start laughing.
She'll be like that wasn't mebaby, that was your mom.
And I'll be like oh for real.
Like I was literally two yearsold and I can remember doing
stuff.
I don't know why it's like stuckin my head, but I can remember
having an earring stuck in myear and having somebody and I'm
(11:28):
talking about digging in my earand somebody you'll be all right
, stop whining.
And I told my aunt I'm likehope, why would you do that to
me?
Like we were on the phoneplaying about I said why would
you do that to me?
I knew you didn't like me.
She's like girl.
That was me on the other sidesaying you'll be all right, but
there was your mama pulling theearring out.
My mother was literally pullingthe little pearl earrings they
(11:49):
used to put on kids.
Y'all don't put the earrings onthem, baby, they get stuck
Pearl earrings.
I had in my ear Some kind ofjammed in my ear and she had
tweezers and just was pulling itout.
And I still remember thatbecause it's like I haven't worn
(12:11):
a small earring since, right sothe joining uh 17 join the
military.
Speaker 1 (12:20):
would you say that you're, even though you joined
for a different reason.
Would you say the military wasa part of strengthening you?
Because I know, like for me,you know, and my trauma joining
the military I was also runningaway, you know, from things like
(12:42):
something had to give and forme, the military kind of gave me
that skill, the leadershipskill and the skill that I have
today.
So would you say that themilitary helped you heal.
By any way, I know it added onsome things, that I do know I
know it added on some things,but would you say that the
(13:03):
military kind of strengthenedyou and and put you on a
different journey?
Speaker 2 (13:11):
and let's talk about the, the military aspect of life
um, to be honest, yes, and it'scrazy because I joined the
military in 2000.
It's 2025 and I still to thisday.
You know, anybody knows me,know, I have a horrible memory.
I can't remember what happenedyesterday, I think that's every
last one.
(13:35):
I can to this day remember DrillSergeant Meredith.
I can't believe I don't have aclue what his first name was,
but Drill Sergeant Meredith,little bitty dude, he was
smaller than me and he wouldtell me all the time about my
attitude.
Check your attitude, brown,check your attitude.
Then one day we were I day, wewere, I think we were cleaning
weapons and he just came overthere to one of me and my other
(13:55):
battle buddy she was from NewYork, had same attitude as me
and everything and, um, hebasically took his hat off.
So it's more or less like I'mgonna talk to y'all, like y'all
are people.
He took his hat off and he waslike y'all know, everybody has a
past, but the goal the the gymis will that past break you,
(14:18):
will it tear you down or will itmake you stronger?
He was like remember that,never let that go.
If you don't let that go, youwill retire from this right here
.
There is nothing that canhappen in this or your outside
world that can mess you up tothe point where you can't get
over it.
And I'm like I've held on tothat and all the stuff that
happened to me in the militarytoday and, you know, kept
(14:40):
holding on to that because justbeing uh, I had so many strikes
going up against me being in themilitary anyway as a black
female.
Two strikes, and then, if youknow me, you know I don't play.
Oh yes, ma'am, I am not like.
(15:03):
I am not backing down If I knowthat what I am trying to say is
the correct way is right, it'swhat should be done.
You're going to listen andwe're going to do it how I said
do it because this is the rightway to do it.
I don't care who you are, Idon't care.
If you're 7,000 pounds andyou're standing over me, I will
get however many ladders I needto get up on, so we can be right
(15:25):
here.
Speaker 1 (15:27):
Right, right, right.
You know what Is that againstme?
Yeah, as as best, I think, asuh, women in the military period
when we get in there, becausewe are a woman, like we have to
be, like you're gonna listen tome, damn it, you're gonna listen
because I know his name is.
Speaker 2 (15:46):
It was crazy and it followed me from a private all
the way up until I retired.
I was known as the pit bull.
Even when I became a drillsergeant is oh, go to pit bull,
and I hated it.
I used to think in my head likewhy are they referring to me
like I'm a dog?
Let me cuss them out, call meno dog or whatever, but when you
think about it like think abouta pit bull you can be the size
(16:10):
of a semi truck.
That pit bull is not backingdown to you If you have pissed
that pit bull off or you come inat pit bulls territory they.
Speaker 1 (16:25):
You seen all of their teeth and everything else.
So I mean, I understand, Iunderstand.
So let me ask you was it any?
If you could think about, thinkabout something that aided you
or assisted you in yourbreakthrough?
What role did someone oranything play in helping you
through your breakthrough?
(16:46):
We all still go through trialsand tribulations and it's like
stepping stones.
As I always tell, as I alwaystell people, life is like
building blocks.
When you have one trial andtribulation, you get through
that and then you go on throughthe next thing.
But you always try to make surethat you don't repeat any of
(17:09):
your mistakes in the past, surethat you don't repeat any of
your mistakes in the past.
And I know, for me, a lot of mybreakthroughs would be either
from close family, closerelative or military, or or my
therapy, which I I am.
(17:29):
So b3u is about, you know,survivors, survivors going
through, uh, emotional andphysical trauma like how are we
surviving?
What, what, what would you sayis, or what would you say?
Or who would you say is theperson that reminds you or keeps
(17:51):
putting that fuel in Ashley, tosay, okay, I got to do another
day, cause, like I tell people,I wake up every morning and it's
not easy being brave.
I have to talk to myself on adaily.
What do you do?
Speaker 2 (18:05):
Um, so, to me, first first is God.
This is one thing I've alwaysI've had always come in and out
of my life and do good and bador whatever, but when I sit and
just think about everything,even though I straight away, god
(18:25):
has always been there.
If it's ever been a thing whereI'm like God, how am I going to
like literally what you say isoh my God, how am I going to do
this?
Right, he always literally andnot to preach, but he's always
been on time, no matter what.
Hasn't been when I wanted it tohappen, but has been when it
needed to happen, when it wasRight.
Speaker 1 (18:48):
For my viewers, for our viewers, for my viewers, for
our viewers.
Let me ask you this did youever feel like you was alone
going through your trials andtribulations.
Speaker 2 (18:58):
Did you ever be like?
Oh, I know, in times where Iliterally and like you can ask
um, you can ask my kids, becauseI and I tell them and I catch
them doing it sometimes is,sometimes you gotta talk to god,
like he's sitting there rightwith you, like you know,
sometimes you gotta be like god,listen, like he's sitting there
right with you, like you know,like God, listen now, hold up,
now, what, what?
what just happened right here?
You got to explain this to me.
Like you have to act, likeyou're literally he's with you
(19:19):
and I catch them doing that andit's been sometimes where I'll
be sitting down.
I'm like now, hold up, god,this was going to happen to me.
Like what in the world?
I like, okay, are you, are weplaying a prank or something
right now?
Because you know I don't likepranks, so I I feel like that.
You know, I have to just talkto him sometimes.
(19:41):
But it's not just mybreakthrough is not just keeping
God first, it's literally likesmall things, like my children.
I wake up and you know howJosiah is.
Josiah is petty as I don't knowwhat, but he is the sweetest
person in the world and he justlike I don't even have to tell
(20:03):
him if something's wrong, likeit was days when I'm just down
and depressed and don't want todo anything and I'll get up
because I'm like I got tobreakfast, I'll get up.
He in the kitchen, he got musicblasting, he whipping up some
pancakes, he doing that and hecleaning up.
He'd already woke his sister up, made her brush her teeth and
like he just keeps the the flowmoving.
(20:25):
And then it's my daughter.
I don't, I don't, she's, we,just we just look.
She's a sour patch kid, I canjust say that, but she just it's
like because you know how weput on that face so nobody knows
anything is wrong.
Yes, ma'am, all too familiarLooking at you.
But my daughter sometimes Icould be sitting here like just
(20:46):
crying in the inside, just wantto break completely down.
She'll come here, she'll lookat me for a second, like she
does this little squinty lookand she'll give me a hug and
she'll lean back, analyzing,lean back and she's like I love
you and walk off like I don'twant to bother with you, I'm
just letting y'all love you.
Okay, that's like you know allright keeps me going.
(21:08):
And then I have, like I have you, I got keisha, I got quarter, I
got oh, I got people that I canjust like.
Y'all don't even have to knowsomething's wrong with me if I
call, literally, y'all gonna saysomething to make me laugh,
y'all gonna say something makeme forget, whatever the
situation is, without me evenhave to tell y'all that
something is wrong with me.
It's just like I said.
Y'all are like my healing andstrength compasses.
(21:31):
Y'all always steer me back togo back over this positive side,
go back over to the funny.
You go back over here.
Don't go over to this side,that'll cut somebody.
Go back over.
You know what I'm saying Allright, all right.
Speaker 1 (21:42):
So it's awesome that you mentioned your significant
other.
It's awesome that you mentionedyour significant other because
I want to talk about how youknow finding a purpose through
your pain.
How did your trauma shape yoursense of purpose or how did it
(22:06):
help you find it and I know youjust mentioned all these awesome
people, or you know so howfinding your purpose through
your pain is is, would you say,your significant other or what's
?
What's the purpose?
Speaker 2 (22:18):
my significant other.
We just started off as justreally, really cool and I don't
know you know how you just findsomebody that just gets you,
that just understands and thingsdon't need.
You know how you just findsomebody that just gets you,
that just understands, andthings don't need to be said,
they're already just yeahaccepts you for who you are.
Speaker 1 (22:39):
Does he accept you for who you are, although you?
Speaker 2 (22:42):
have no matter what.
It is like no matter.
And he, he came into my lifewhen I was at a point like ugh,
I hate me and like I just wantto slip cut him real quick.
So you don't even know it's mecutting him, but I mean it
literally.
It took, to be honest, mysister telling her that I think
(23:06):
I like him.
I'm not sure.
She was like well, you eithergoing to be a punk or you just
don't keep staring at him.
I'm like, oh, and everybody.
She was like well, you'reeither going to be a punk or
you're just going to keepstaring at him.
Speaker 1 (23:17):
I'm like oh and everybody knows, don't call me
out, because I will do it, don'tmove.
Speaker 2 (23:21):
Anybody knows, wow, lord.
Well, that's a whole other story, because I will do it, you will
.
I'm on the limb.
It's crazy because we both cameinto each other's lives when we
were both literally just downat our lowest, with no
expectation from either.
No well, this got to happen.
No, this is now.
We both had, like, our guardsup, but we just get each other
(23:43):
and before we knew it, ourguards were down.
We care about nothing else andwe just.
We don't have to worry aboutanything Like.
If he tell me he goes to aparty with 200 people and he's
the only male, we don't have toworry about anything like.
If he tell me he going to aparty with 200 people and he's
the only male, I don't care, butanybody else, I'll talk to him.
Turn your location on whennobody got time for that.
(24:05):
I don't trust you right, right.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
So, besides what, your, your awesome, significant
or other big shout out to CarterI love him to death.
Look, this guy has won hisfitness journey.
I couldn't keep up.
Look, I was working out withhim and everything fell apart.
I guess my body was like you'retoo old for you to sit down and
go to the geriatric.
(24:29):
Don't be doing my baby likethis.
No, I mean, he was good, he wasgetting serious about his craft
and I can appreciate that.
So he's uh, uh, one of thepurposes, uh, but finding your
purpose through your pain.
So I know you have the am a, mb, you have your, your beautiful
(24:50):
children, you have yourbeautiful significant other,
your boyfriend or whatever, what.
What was that turning point inyour life that you, you said
okay, what?
How did you find your purpose?
How did Ashley come in to say,okay, matter of fact, let me ask
(25:12):
it like this when did you findyour purpose?
When did you find that purpose?
When did you say that's it,right there?
Speaker 2 (25:20):
so it was honestly, uh, josiah, he, um, after
dealing with that demon, he camein there.
He came in the room um, I waschanging Skylar, getting her
ready or whatever, and he wasyoung, I don't even think he was
11 yet and um came and took herfrom me.
(25:40):
He was like I got her.
He used to always take her inhis room or whatever, just to
give me some me time, orwhatever.
He came in there and he pat meon the back.
He was like you did the rightthing, ma he's like you got this
.
And I was like you know what Ido this?
Right, I'm gonna let that demontake me to a point of where I
can't be here for my kidsphysically, but I'm not here for
(26:03):
my kids, right, I can't bringthem down because of that.
You know what?
I'm saying and after that I'm.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
What are some things that you did?
Okay.
So, josiah, is that the pointwhere you started to branch out,
to say like I want more, I gotto do more.
Speaker 2 (26:25):
I actually started believing in myself more,
because that situation was notjust physically abusive, it was
mentally, it was verbally, itwas all of that.
So I was at a point where Iwasn't really believing in
myself.
I didn't think I could do this.
I didn't think I could do that,knowing I could, because if you
(26:48):
think about the clientele I hadat the time that I just let go
of because you got, we're goingto say Satan over here telling
you you ain't good enough, youcan't do this, this and that.
And I literally, literally.
This is like crazy, but Iliterally went from like 100 and
(27:08):
I think I was 169 pounds to 220.
Wow, just you know what I'msaying, like literally.
So after Sia's little you knowbasically telling me Ma get off
your ass.
Speaker 1 (27:24):
What is wrong with you, right?
Speaker 2 (27:27):
What is wrong with you?
I start, we start walking.
I would take the kids and wewould get in, put her Skylar in
the stroller, sia, we do walks,or whatever.
And then when Skylar's atdaycare, me and Sia would go run
because saya is a runner, oh mygod, we would go run.
Just do stuff like that once Istarted, you know, getting back
in shape or whatever.
And and that's when you startedwalking into it, like opening
(27:50):
little doors to find I waswalking through like
opportunities, and this is that,and that brought me to one of
the biggest opportunities I had,was it?
It walked me right into workingwith Jagged Edge and I'm like,
you know, like right, okay, well, is that is that the one I
(28:14):
called the different?
Speaker 1 (28:15):
or was that another group?
Please, you know what do I callthem?
Look, Jagged Edge, I want totake the time and apologize to
you right now.
Look, I apologize for callingyou next.
It was a little joke.
I y'all know no joke when youhear joke.
My apologies, jagged edge.
That was still my boy.
Speaker 2 (28:34):
Oh okay, go ahead and it ran me into the opportunity
of working with kyle fromjaggedars and I just he was
another really positive part inmy life because he was going
through something but he neverlet it leak into us like he had
bad stuff going on, but healways says something positive
(28:56):
to me, like, uh, what you actinglike?
You can't do that, for youalready know you can do that.
What are you waiting on?
like literally, like he was thebrother, his, the brother, talk
he didn't nothing with me, likenothing, like literally, uh,
because he called me momo, uhmomo, get off your ass.
Speaker 1 (29:12):
What you waiting on?
Why haven't you done thisalready?
Speaker 2 (29:14):
you know, and then it just kept going on and on and
on until now, working with, likeuh, former I literally work for
.
Well, he says we're partners,but I literally work for now, a
super bowl champ, brian hall,from the um baltimore ravens I.
I work with him, hand in handin his company, and it just
(29:35):
keeps opening up more and moredoors to where it's like I can't
do this.
And carter pours it to me allthe time.
He is literally the reason why,like I was telling you the
other day, I registered mybusiness and got my llc and my
yeah, he told me he's like he,carter, don't hold nothing
either.
Sugarcoat, nothing.
(30:02):
Part of it's like so you got abusiness, you've been running
the business, you've been doingthis.
What you waiting on to registerit?
I'm like okay exactly, exactly.
Speaker 1 (30:14):
So, okay, what is something that you could tell
the viewers that you wish morepeople understood about trauma,
like, how would you tellsomebody to protect their peace
and energy?
Now, now that you're in yourwalk, listeners, our viewers, to
(30:42):
empower them through their,their walk, their trauma, their
trials and tribulations um, Ithink what people need to
realize is relatability.
Speaker 2 (30:53):
Is that a word?
That's a word?
Right?
Relatability is it's not.
Like it's the word, so we'regonna.
If it's not, hey guys, I justmade that up.
Relatability is important.
Like people are think thatnobody's gonna understand my
story, so I got to keep on thismask, I got to keep on this face
(31:17):
that I'm okay, there's nothingwrong with me.
But what people fail to realizeis you have people out there
that look at you like you're ahero.
They look at you like they'reso strong, they're this, this
and that, once they realize thatyou, you are human too.
You go through the same stuffthey're going through.
You are doing this, this andthat, but you're still in some
way, in their eyes, making itlike it will open up so many
(31:43):
doors.
Like I am very personable, likeI keep everything in, I don't
talk about anything.
I think that's one downfall ofthe military.
It has basically numbed us.
A lot of us Like when it comesto death, like I don't really
deal with death, I just kind oftake it and put it in the back
of my head.
(32:03):
I'm like OK, this person passed, I'm sad, and they just leave
it at that, because in my head Ican't show that weakness
because I ought to be there forthem, so I don't have time to
break down.
If I break down, then how am Ihelping them heal?
You know what I'm saying.
(32:24):
So I think people need to backto what you asked me.
But I think people need torealize that it's OK to talk
about your trauma you it's.
It makes it worse on you themore you hold it.
Speaker 1 (32:34):
That is true, that is so true, a boiling pot, right?
Speaker 2 (32:39):
You put the top on it , then it explodes.
Yes, yes, ma'am, explode.
And when you get to that pointwhere you about to explode, then
that's when you make it worse,because you tearing up bridges
and relationships and you know.
So be okay to address yourtrauma.
Speaker 1 (32:58):
Yes, yes, ma'am, I totally agree with that.
I spent many, many years, manyyears masking, hiding through my
trauma and, as you well know,2023 or 20 into 24 was my
breaking point and I knew I hadto get help.
(33:19):
Remember that call in theairport we ain't going to talk
about that.
Let me tell you look, theAtlanta airport, that is one
place you do not.
If you are facing any trauma,do not fly through Atlanta
airport, because you willdefinitely want to take heads
off.
Those are some of the most rudepeople in Atlanta airport.
(33:41):
Look, I'm going to talk aboutthem now.
Atlanta workers are rude.
They don't like my grandson say, they don't care, they don't
care.
But yeah, so when you'remasking and hiding behind Trump,
you are so right that thatbecomes a boiling pot.
Speaker 2 (34:00):
And then you, just before you know it, what you
fail to realize is you're addingmore trauma on top of the
trauma, and then, when it'sself-inflicted, you're doing
that.
Speaker 1 (34:14):
You can't blame nobody else you're doing right,
I'm telling you, I used towonder why they would try to
send you know how, how they tryto send us to those PTSD clinics
and face your trauma.
I'm like what am I going toface it?
For I don't want to face it.
It's trauma.
I want to forget about it.
Like, teach me how to forgetabout it.
But I finally came intorealization that you must face
(34:37):
your trauma, whatever that is,head on, so you can see in front
of you instead of always tryingto cover up what was behind you
.
So I totally, totally, totallyagree with that.
So what's next for you, msAshley?
What's next for you and how areyou using your voice today to
help others?
Speaker 2 (34:57):
What's next for me is , honestly, something that I
have been praying for.
I'm so sorry.
My dog hears them mowing thelawn and he about to start
barking.
Um, what's next for me issomething that I've been praying
for.
Not only is it patience, but tolearn to forgive, because there
(35:21):
are people that I I just Ihaven't forgave it like I know I
need to, but I'm human that'sright and I don't know one step
at a time, one step at a time,to move off the step that I'm on
(35:42):
.
Speaker 1 (35:43):
That's right what somebody says how do?
You?
Said to me one time, how do youeat an elephant?
I thought about it, I thoughtabout it.
I was like, well, I would haveto do that one bite at a time
and it didn't even click to methat oh oh, oh, okay, okay, yeah
, that's how you live life.
So, ashley, one, one bite at atime.
We're not human.
Another thing that we have tolearn is that we are not the
(36:06):
most high, we are not God, so weare imperfect.
You know we were made his image,yes, but there are things that
take some time to heal or somepeople to forgive.
So I totally understand thatand I thank you for coming on
with me today and sharing yourexperience.
Come on B3U.
(36:27):
And as for my audience, I hopeand I pray that you enjoyed this
podcast with Miss Ashley.
She is amazing.
Is it anything, Ashley, thatyou would want to put out to our
listeners or our viewers forthem to follow you somewhere?
Do you have a website?
Speaker 2 (36:47):
I'm still working on all of it.
Speaker 1 (36:49):
You're still working on it.
Okay Well, look.
Okay Well, look.
Miss Ashley, thank you so much.
My sister, my friend, my heartand my soul, I thank you for
coming on B3U with me today,just giving our viewers a little
bit of insight on your pain andhow you turned your pain into
power, how you burned, break andare becoming unstoppable and
(37:16):
successful.
You, I wish nothing but thebest.
My sister, my sister and I willbe watching you, as I know you
will be watching me, so we'll bewatching each other.
So, B3U, thank you, my viewers,for coming out and listening to
the show today, and we will seeyou again next week with
another awesome, awesome eventor show.
(37:40):
So we'll see you then.
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