May 22, 2025 • 16 mins
In this bonus episode for Mental Health Awareness Month, Dr. Angela Downey shares five powerful mindset shifts that challenge how we think about healing and self-care:
- Healing isn’t linear — Growth often looks messy, not perfect.
- You can struggle and still be strong — Vulnerability is courage, not weakness.
- Feeling your feelings isn’t weakness — Emotions are messengers, not problems to fix.
- Rest is productive — You don’t need to earn your downtime.
- Boundaries protect your peace — Limits aren’t selfish, they’re essential.
This episode is for anyone navigating burnout, people-pleasing, codependency, or just feeling overwhelmed by mental health advice that doesn’t reflect real life.
I am so excited to share my codependency recovery workbook with you. Click on the link to be brough to Enough As I Am on Amazon.
🦋 Enough As I Am: Recovery workbook. On Amazon
Email: codependentdoctor@gmail.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello to all my wonderful podcast listeners and
welcome to this special bonusepisode of the Codependent
Doctor.
I'm your host, dr Angela Downey, a family doctor and fellow
codependent who's here to walkalongside you on the road to
healing.
One honest conversation at atime.
Since it's Mental HealthAwareness Month, I've been
sharing some bonus episodes thatdive a little deeper into what
(00:22):
mental health really looks like,beyond the diagnoses and the
labels.
Today's episode is called 5Truths.
I Wish Everyone Knew AboutMental Health and, honestly,
these are things that I wishsomeone had told me years ago,
because mental health isn't justabout falling apart.
It's about how we treatourselves on the regular, how we
show up for ourselves, how werest, recover, grow and rebuild.
(00:46):
So let's get into it, and ifyou hear something today that
hits home, I hope that itreminds you that you're not
alone, you're not broken andyou're probably doing better
than you think.
So here are the five truths.
Truth number one healing isn'tlinear.
It's not this neat linearupward slope where every day
gets a little better than thelast.
(01:07):
I used to think that once I hadeverything figured out, that I
would stop feeling anxious, thatI would stop falling into my
old patterns and I'd stop havingbad days.
But the truth is that healinglooks more like a spiral.
You circle around the samethemes over and over, but each
time you come back with a littlemore insight, a little bit more
(01:28):
self-compassion and a littlebit more strength.
And some days you're thriving,you're setting boundaries,
regulating emotions and feelinggood all around.
But other days, sometimes, youmight feel like you're barely
holding it all together and yousay yes when you mean to say no
and you spiral over somethingsmall.
Maybe you cry over somethingthat you thought that you were
(01:49):
past, but that doesn't mean thatyou failed.
It doesn't erase any of theprogress that you've made
Setbacks.
They're not proof that you'rebroken.
They're just part of theprocess and growth.
It's not always visible.
Sometimes it might look likeresting when you're tired,
instead of pushing through orchoosing not to respond in the
heat of the moment, lettingyourself cry without judging
(02:11):
yourself.
Maybe you say that I need help,even if it feels a little bit
uncomfortable, and these thingsmight not look like milestones
from the outside, but they'reactually quite big.
They're huge, especially ifyou're taught to ignore your
needs or hold it all togetherall the time.
Healing doesn't also happen onanyone else's timeline.
You don't have to be over it bynow.
(02:32):
You're allowed to still beworking through things that
happened years ago.
You're allowed to needreminders and to be a work in
progress.
So if today feels messy or ifyou feel like you've fallen back
into some old patterns.
So if today feels messy or ifyou feel like you've fallen back
into some old patterns, thentry not to shame yourself.
You're not back at square one.
You're just in the middle ofthe spiral and each time that
(02:52):
you come back around again,you're not going to be that same
person, because, no matter what, you have learned something and
you've grown, and that counts,even if it doesn't feel like it
at the moment.
So please be kind to yourselfand take your time.
You're allowed to heal, andperfectly, and you're allowed to
(03:14):
be proud of yourself, not justwhen things are going well, but
when you keep showing up overand over, even on those hard
days.
So no, healing is definitelynot linear, but it's happening
and you're doing better than youthink.
Truth number two you canstruggle and still be strong.
Somewhere along the way, a lotof us picked up this idea that
(03:35):
strength means holding it alltogether, being the one who's
calm or capable or composed, nomatter what's going on on the
inside.
And if you're having a hard day, that must mean that you're
failing somehow.
But that's just not true.
Having a tough time doesn'tmake you weak, it makes you
human.
We're all going through this atthe same time and I'll be real
(03:57):
with you.
This is something that I stillstruggle with.
I have a really hard timeasking for help, and I'm not
great at delegating any of mytasks.
It always feels easier for meto just do it by myself, even
when I'm exhausted, because theidea of leaning on someone else
it feels foreign to me.
I'm used to being that rock forpeople, and when I do get help,
(04:21):
I feel more comfortable payingsomeone, like maybe a therapist
or a cleaning lady, than askingfriends to step in without me
paying them anything, becausedeep down, there's still this
old belief that people only helpif there's an obligation.
So I'm still working ontrusting that people might just
want to show up for me simplybecause they care.
(04:41):
And if that's you too, thenplease know that you're not
alone.
Strength isn't about pretendingthat everything is fine when
it's not.
It's about being honest andit's saying I'm having a rough
time and I still show up formyself.
Or maybe it's choosing not toshow up to that event and giving
yourself some time to restinstead.
That's strong too, and I usedto think that asking for help
(05:05):
meant that I wasn't trying hardenough and that I should try
fixing things on my own.
But now I'm trying to believethat asking for help is one of
the bravest things that I can do.
But these things take time andI need to continue working on
this, because being vulnerableis not the only way to get
through it.
That takes a lot of courage,and sometimes we just need to
muster that up.
Saying I can't do this alonetakes way more guts than
(05:29):
silently powering through.
And yet we still hold ourselvesto these impossible standards,
like we're only allowed to feelproud when we're crushing it or
thriving or ticking all of thoseboxes.
But some of the strongestpeople that I know are the ones
who are quietly fighting innerbattles.
People that I know are the oneswho are quietly fighting inner
(05:49):
battles.
They have anxiety or grief orburnout or heartbreak, and they
still choose to show up withkindness and they're still
choosing to keep going.
You don't lose your strength onthe days that you cry in your
car or cancel plans because yournervous system says not today,
or admit out loud that you'renot okay.
Your strength is in yourhonesty.
It's in your resilience andyour softness in the face of any
(06:10):
struggle.
So if you're feelingoverwhelmed or a little off
track, then don't take that as areflection of your worth.
You're still strong and you'restill growing.
You're still going to do yourbest, even if your best looks
different today than it didyesterday.
So let yourself be a littlemessy and let yourself feel and
let yourself be real.
You can struggle and still bestrong.
(06:32):
In fact, you already are strongand you always will be.
Truth number three feeling yourfeelings isn't weakness.
A lot of us were taught thatemotions were a problem,
something to manage or suppressor get over.
Maybe you were told not to cry.
Maybe you were called dramaticfor being sensitive.
Maybe you just picked up on theunspoken rule that emotions
(06:56):
make people feel uncomfortable,so it's better just to shut them
down.
But I'm here to tell you thatour feelings are not flaws.
They're information.
Feelings are just messages fromyour inner world trying to get
your attention.
When you're sad, it usuallymeans that something mattered to
you.
When you're angry, it meansthat a boundary might have been
crossed.
When you're anxious, somethingin you might feel unsafe or
(07:20):
uncertain.
The problem isn't the feeling.
The problem is that we nevergive ourselves permission to
feel the feeling, and I get it.
It's not always easy,especially if you've spent most
of your life holding it alltogether or keeping the peace.
You might think if I open thatdoor, I won't be able to close
it ever again.
But feelings, they don't goaway just because you chose to
(07:41):
ignore them.
They just build up andeventually morph into burnout
and resentment and anxiety orphysical symptoms.
Suppressing emotions might workshort term, but long term they
numb you Not just to the hardstuff that you don't want to
face, but also to the good stuffin life too.
So crying, grieving, gettingangry, feeling joy these aren't
(08:04):
signs of weakness, they're justsigns of life.
Feeling deeply doesn't make youdramatic.
It makes you connected, andit's through that connection and
that honesty that we actuallystart to heal.
So the next time you feelsomething rise up whether it be
sadness, grief, anger or joy trythis.
Instead of fixing it, let itmove through you and name it,
(08:29):
breathe it in and ask what it'strying to say.
Because when you allow yourselfto feel, you give yourself the
space to grow.
And just in case no one evertold you this, you're allowed to
cry, you're allowed to besensitive and you're allowed to
feel everything without apology.
There's nothing.
(08:51):
The fourth truth is rest isproductive.
This is something that I thinkwe all intellectually know, but
emotionally we still struggle tobelieve it.
Rest is not lazy.
It's necessary.
We all need it.
We live in a world thatglorifies hustle culture, where
(09:11):
productivity is praised andburnout is almost worn like a
badge of honor.
You hear things like sleep isfor the weak, or I've been
working non-stop and somehowthat's supposed to be impressive
, but the truth is that youdon't have to earn your rest by
running yourself into the groundfirst.
Rest.
It's not a reward, it's justpart of being human.
(09:35):
Every living being needs rest,and you're no exception.
You need breaks, not becauseyou're weak or falling behind,
but because your nervous systemisn't built to go 24-7.
Just like your phone needsrecharging, so do you, and I get
it.
If you're someone who tends toovergive or maybe you've been
praised your whole life forbeing the reliable one it can
feel uncomfortable to stop andto pause.
(09:57):
I still catch myself thinking Ihaven't done enough today to
take a break.
But that's just some old belieftalking, and it's hard for me
to believe that sometimes myworth has nothing to do with my
output.
And when you rest, even if it'sjust for five minutes, you're
giving your body and your mind achance to reset your stress
(10:18):
levels.
They're going to drop.
Your creativity comes backonline.
You're probably going to bemore present and more grounded
and more capable of showing upfor yourself and for others.
And the key here is restingbefore you're completely
exhausted.
Don't wait to burn out beforeyou make a decision for yourself
to rest.
Rest is self-respect.
(10:39):
In action.
It's saying I matter and mybody matters, and so does my
energy.
So if you need me to write youa prescription here, it is 15
minutes of rest three times aday, as needed.
You're allowed to take a nap,cancel your plan or say not
right now, or do absolutelynothing without guilt, because
(11:00):
you're more than what youproduce, and taking care of
yourself isn't selfish.
It's how you stay whole.
Truth number five boundariesprotect your peace.
Let's talk about boundaries alittle bit.
This is a word that can makesome people feel really
empowered, but others are goingto instantly feel really
uncomfortable, like probablymyself.
(11:21):
I used to think that settingboundaries meant that I was
being mean, like saying no tosomeone made me less loving and
less available.
But over time I'm starting torealize that boundaries aren't
about rejection.
They're actually aboutrespecting myself and my energy,
and it's not just for otherpeople but it's for myself.
(11:43):
Boundaries aren't walls that aremeant to keep people out.
They're just guidelines for howyou want to be treated, and
when you set a boundary, you'rebasically saying that I matter
too.
Imagine you've got thisbeautiful garden in your front
yard and you don't want peoplestepping over all your expensive
flowers.
Setting a boundary is likeputting in a sidewalk If you
(12:04):
want to come to me, then thesidewalk is the best way of
getting there.
And if you refuse to use thesidewalk and you're going to
continue trampling over all mymagnolias, I'm probably going to
get really upset and I'm goingto resent you and you're going
to look like a jerk andeventually I'm probably going to
stop inviting you over.
So boundaries are justguidelines that you set for
other people so they know thebest way to interact with you.
(12:26):
They're there to protect yourenergy, your mental space, your
emotional capacity.
And when you don't set them,you end up over committed or
overstimulated and overwhelmed.
And when you don't set them,you end up overcommitted or
overstimulated and overwhelmed.
And that's when resentmentkeeps in, not because you're
doing too much, but becauseyou're doing things that go
against your own needs.
And if you've ever said yeswhile screaming no on the inside
(12:47):
, you know exactly what I mean.
One thing I've had to learn andhonestly I'm still learning is
that you can love someone deeplyand still say this doesn't work
for me.
You can set a boundary andstill be kind.
You can care about peoplewithout constantly
self-sacrificing to keep thepeace, and, in fact, boundaries
are what allows you to stayconnected without burning out.
(13:10):
They're how you sustainrelationships, not destroy them.
And yeah, it might feel awkwardat first, especially if you're
used to people-pleasing oralways being the reliable one,
but trust me, the discomfort ofsetting a boundary is nothing
compared to the exhaustion ofliving without them.
So if this is resonating, thentry this.
Start small Practice, sayingI'm not available for that or I
(13:34):
need some time to think about it.
Give yourself permission topause before automatically
saying yes, and if you need areminder, this is it.
Boundaries don't make youselfish.
They make you sustainable.
They don't push people away.
They help you stay presentwithout resentment, and they
don't mean that you love peopleany less.
(13:54):
They just mean that you'refinally starting to love
yourself too, and that's thekind of peace that you
absolutely deserve.
And that wraps up my littlebonus episode from Mental Health
Awareness Month.
I really hope that these littlecheck-ins have helped you feel
seen, supported and maybe evengive you a few tools that you
can take into your own healingjourney.
Just a reminder I'll still behere with regular weekly
(14:16):
episodes that are launched onMondays, diving into all things
mental health and codependency.
And if you're wanting moreinformation on anything I talked
about in these bonus episodesfrom boundaries to burnout to
people pleasing and beyond feelfree to browse through my
podcast library.
You're going to find a lot ofepisodes there that go much
deeper into all of it.
You can find these on ApplePodcasts, spotify or wherever
(14:38):
you like to listen to yourpodcast.
Thank you for being here withme today.
Take care of your mind, begentle with your heart, and I'm
going to see you back here nextweek.
Take care for now.
You've got this.
Hello to all my wonderful podcast listeners and
welcome to this special bonusepisode of the Codependent
Doctor.
I'm your host, dr Angela Downey, a family doctor and fellow
codependent who's here to walkalongside you on the road to
healing.
One honest conversation at atime.
Since it's Mental HealthAwareness Month, I've been
sharing some bonus episodes thatdive a little deeper into what
(00:22):
mental health really looks like,beyond the diagnoses and the
labels.
Today's episode is called 5Truths.
I Wish Everyone Knew AboutMental Health and, honestly,
these are things that I wishsomeone had told me years ago,
because mental health isn't justabout falling apart.
It's about how we treatourselves on the regular, how we
show up for ourselves, how werest, recover, grow and rebuild.
(00:46):
So let's get into it, and ifyou hear something today that
hits home, I hope that itreminds you that you're not
alone, you're not broken andyou're probably doing better
than you think.
So here are the five truths.
Truth number one healing isn'tlinear.
It's not this neat linearupward slope where every day
gets a little better than thelast.
(01:07):
I used to think that once I hadeverything figured out, that I
would stop feeling anxious, thatI would stop falling into my
old patterns and I'd stop havingbad days.
But the truth is that healinglooks more like a spiral.
You circle around the samethemes over and over, but each
time you come back with a littlemore insight, a little bit more
(01:28):
self-compassion and a littlebit more strength.
And some days you're thriving,you're setting boundaries,
regulating emotions and feelinggood all around.
But other days, sometimes, youmight feel like you're barely
holding it all together and yousay yes when you mean to say no
and you spiral over somethingsmall.
Maybe you cry over somethingthat you thought that you were
(01:49):
past, but that doesn't mean thatyou failed.
It doesn't erase any of theprogress that you've made
Setbacks.
They're not proof that you'rebroken.
They're just part of theprocess and growth.
It's not always visible.
Sometimes it might look likeresting when you're tired,
instead of pushing through orchoosing not to respond in the
heat of the moment, lettingyourself cry without judging
(02:11):
yourself.
Maybe you say that I need help,even if it feels a little bit
uncomfortable, and these thingsmight not look like milestones
from the outside, but they'reactually quite big.
They're huge, especially ifyou're taught to ignore your
needs or hold it all togetherall the time.
Healing doesn't also happen onanyone else's timeline.
You don't have to be over it bynow.
(02:32):
You're allowed to still beworking through things that
happened years ago.
You're allowed to needreminders and to be a work in
progress.
So if today feels messy or ifyou feel like you've fallen back
into some old patterns.
So if today feels messy or ifyou feel like you've fallen back
into some old patterns, thentry not to shame yourself.
You're not back at square one.
You're just in the middle ofthe spiral and each time that
(02:52):
you come back around again,you're not going to be that same
person, because, no matter what, you have learned something and
you've grown, and that counts,even if it doesn't feel like it
at the moment.
So please be kind to yourselfand take your time.
You're allowed to heal, andperfectly, and you're allowed to
(03:14):
be proud of yourself, not justwhen things are going well, but
when you keep showing up overand over, even on those hard
days.
So no, healing is definitelynot linear, but it's happening
and you're doing better than youthink.
Truth number two you canstruggle and still be strong.
Somewhere along the way, a lotof us picked up this idea that
(03:35):
strength means holding it alltogether, being the one who's
calm or capable or composed, nomatter what's going on on the
inside.
And if you're having a hard day, that must mean that you're
failing somehow.
But that's just not true.
Having a tough time doesn'tmake you weak, it makes you
human.
We're all going through this atthe same time and I'll be real
(03:57):
with you.
This is something that I stillstruggle with.
I have a really hard timeasking for help, and I'm not
great at delegating any of mytasks.
It always feels easier for meto just do it by myself, even
when I'm exhausted, because theidea of leaning on someone else
it feels foreign to me.
I'm used to being that rock forpeople, and when I do get help,
(04:21):
I feel more comfortable payingsomeone, like maybe a therapist
or a cleaning lady, than askingfriends to step in without me
paying them anything, becausedeep down, there's still this
old belief that people only helpif there's an obligation.
So I'm still working ontrusting that people might just
want to show up for me simplybecause they care.
(04:41):
And if that's you too, thenplease know that you're not
alone.
Strength isn't about pretendingthat everything is fine when
it's not.
It's about being honest andit's saying I'm having a rough
time and I still show up formyself.
Or maybe it's choosing not toshow up to that event and giving
yourself some time to restinstead.
That's strong too, and I usedto think that asking for help
(05:05):
meant that I wasn't trying hardenough and that I should try
fixing things on my own.
But now I'm trying to believethat asking for help is one of
the bravest things that I can do.
But these things take time andI need to continue working on
this, because being vulnerableis not the only way to get
through it.
That takes a lot of courage,and sometimes we just need to
muster that up.
Saying I can't do this alonetakes way more guts than
(05:29):
silently powering through.
And yet we still hold ourselvesto these impossible standards,
like we're only allowed to feelproud when we're crushing it or
thriving or ticking all of thoseboxes.
But some of the strongestpeople that I know are the ones
who are quietly fighting innerbattles.
People that I know are the oneswho are quietly fighting inner
(05:49):
battles.
They have anxiety or grief orburnout or heartbreak, and they
still choose to show up withkindness and they're still
choosing to keep going.
You don't lose your strength onthe days that you cry in your
car or cancel plans because yournervous system says not today,
or admit out loud that you'renot okay.
Your strength is in yourhonesty.
It's in your resilience andyour softness in the face of any
(06:10):
struggle.
So if you're feelingoverwhelmed or a little off
track, then don't take that as areflection of your worth.
You're still strong and you'restill growing.
You're still going to do yourbest, even if your best looks
different today than it didyesterday.
So let yourself be a littlemessy and let yourself feel and
let yourself be real.
You can struggle and still bestrong.
(06:32):
In fact, you already are strongand you always will be.
Truth number three feeling yourfeelings isn't weakness.
A lot of us were taught thatemotions were a problem,
something to manage or suppressor get over.
Maybe you were told not to cry.
Maybe you were called dramaticfor being sensitive.
Maybe you just picked up on theunspoken rule that emotions
(06:56):
make people feel uncomfortable,so it's better just to shut them
down.
But I'm here to tell you thatour feelings are not flaws.
They're information.
Feelings are just messages fromyour inner world trying to get
your attention.
When you're sad, it usuallymeans that something mattered to
you.
When you're angry, it meansthat a boundary might have been
crossed.
When you're anxious, somethingin you might feel unsafe or
(07:20):
uncertain.
The problem isn't the feeling.
The problem is that we nevergive ourselves permission to
feel the feeling, and I get it.
It's not always easy,especially if you've spent most
of your life holding it alltogether or keeping the peace.
You might think if I open thatdoor, I won't be able to close
it ever again.
But feelings, they don't goaway just because you chose to
(07:41):
ignore them.
They just build up andeventually morph into burnout
and resentment and anxiety orphysical symptoms.
Suppressing emotions might workshort term, but long term they
numb you Not just to the hardstuff that you don't want to
face, but also to the good stuffin life too.
So crying, grieving, gettingangry, feeling joy these aren't
(08:04):
signs of weakness, they're justsigns of life.
Feeling deeply doesn't make youdramatic.
It makes you connected, andit's through that connection and
that honesty that we actuallystart to heal.
So the next time you feelsomething rise up whether it be
sadness, grief, anger or joy trythis.
Instead of fixing it, let itmove through you and name it,
(08:29):
breathe it in and ask what it'strying to say.
Because when you allow yourselfto feel, you give yourself the
space to grow.
And just in case no one evertold you this, you're allowed to
cry, you're allowed to besensitive and you're allowed to
feel everything without apology.
There's nothing.
(08:51):
The fourth truth is rest isproductive.
This is something that I thinkwe all intellectually know, but
emotionally we still struggle tobelieve it.
Rest is not lazy.
It's necessary.
We all need it.
We live in a world thatglorifies hustle culture, where
(09:11):
productivity is praised andburnout is almost worn like a
badge of honor.
You hear things like sleep isfor the weak, or I've been
working non-stop and somehowthat's supposed to be impressive
, but the truth is that youdon't have to earn your rest by
running yourself into the groundfirst.
Rest.
It's not a reward, it's justpart of being human.
(09:35):
Every living being needs rest,and you're no exception.
You need breaks, not becauseyou're weak or falling behind,
but because your nervous systemisn't built to go 24-7.
Just like your phone needsrecharging, so do you, and I get
it.
If you're someone who tends toovergive or maybe you've been
praised your whole life forbeing the reliable one it can
feel uncomfortable to stop andto pause.
(09:57):
I still catch myself thinking Ihaven't done enough today to
take a break.
But that's just some old belieftalking, and it's hard for me
to believe that sometimes myworth has nothing to do with my
output.
And when you rest, even if it'sjust for five minutes, you're
giving your body and your mind achance to reset your stress
(10:18):
levels.
They're going to drop.
Your creativity comes backonline.
You're probably going to bemore present and more grounded
and more capable of showing upfor yourself and for others.
And the key here is restingbefore you're completely
exhausted.
Don't wait to burn out beforeyou make a decision for yourself
to rest.
Rest is self-respect.
(10:39):
In action.
It's saying I matter and mybody matters, and so does my
energy.
So if you need me to write youa prescription here, it is 15
minutes of rest three times aday, as needed.
You're allowed to take a nap,cancel your plan or say not
right now, or do absolutelynothing without guilt, because
(11:00):
you're more than what youproduce, and taking care of
yourself isn't selfish.
It's how you stay whole.
Truth number five boundariesprotect your peace.
Let's talk about boundaries alittle bit.
This is a word that can makesome people feel really
empowered, but others are goingto instantly feel really
uncomfortable, like probablymyself.
(11:21):
I used to think that settingboundaries meant that I was
being mean, like saying no tosomeone made me less loving and
less available.
But over time I'm starting torealize that boundaries aren't
about rejection.
They're actually aboutrespecting myself and my energy,
and it's not just for otherpeople but it's for myself.
(11:43):
Boundaries aren't walls that aremeant to keep people out.
They're just guidelines for howyou want to be treated, and
when you set a boundary, you'rebasically saying that I matter
too.
Imagine you've got thisbeautiful garden in your front
yard and you don't want peoplestepping over all your expensive
flowers.
Setting a boundary is likeputting in a sidewalk If you
(12:04):
want to come to me, then thesidewalk is the best way of
getting there.
And if you refuse to use thesidewalk and you're going to
continue trampling over all mymagnolias, I'm probably going to
get really upset and I'm goingto resent you and you're going
to look like a jerk andeventually I'm probably going to
stop inviting you over.
So boundaries are justguidelines that you set for
other people so they know thebest way to interact with you.
(12:26):
They're there to protect yourenergy, your mental space, your
emotional capacity.
And when you don't set them,you end up over committed or
overstimulated and overwhelmed.
And when you don't set them,you end up overcommitted or
overstimulated and overwhelmed.
And that's when resentmentkeeps in, not because you're
doing too much, but becauseyou're doing things that go
against your own needs.
And if you've ever said yeswhile screaming no on the inside
(12:47):
, you know exactly what I mean.
One thing I've had to learn andhonestly I'm still learning is
that you can love someone deeplyand still say this doesn't work
for me.
You can set a boundary andstill be kind.
You can care about peoplewithout constantly
self-sacrificing to keep thepeace, and, in fact, boundaries
are what allows you to stayconnected without burning out.
(13:10):
They're how you sustainrelationships, not destroy them.
And yeah, it might feel awkwardat first, especially if you're
used to people-pleasing oralways being the reliable one,
but trust me, the discomfort ofsetting a boundary is nothing
compared to the exhaustion ofliving without them.
So if this is resonating, thentry this.
Start small Practice, sayingI'm not available for that or I
(13:34):
need some time to think about it.
Give yourself permission topause before automatically
saying yes, and if you need areminder, this is it.
Boundaries don't make youselfish.
They make you sustainable.
They don't push people away.
They help you stay presentwithout resentment, and they
don't mean that you love peopleany less.
(13:54):
They just mean that you'refinally starting to love
yourself too, and that's thekind of peace that you
absolutely deserve.
And that wraps up my littlebonus episode from Mental Health
Awareness Month.
I really hope that these littlecheck-ins have helped you feel
seen, supported and maybe evengive you a few tools that you
can take into your own healingjourney.
Just a reminder I'll still behere with regular weekly
(14:16):
episodes that are launched onMondays, diving into all things
mental health and codependency.
And if you're wanting moreinformation on anything I talked
about in these bonus episodesfrom boundaries to burnout to
people pleasing and beyond feelfree to browse through my
podcast library.
You're going to find a lot ofepisodes there that go much
deeper into all of it.
You can find these on ApplePodcasts, spotify or wherever
(14:38):
you like to listen to yourpodcast.
Thank you for being here withme today.
Take care of your mind, begentle with your heart, and I'm
going to see you back here nextweek.
Take care for now.
You've got this.
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