Have you ever thought, “My parents really tried their best… but I still got hurt”? This episode dives into that exact truth—the emotional complexity of being raised by loving parents who lacked the tools to meet all your needs.
Dr. Angela Downey shares her story from both sides:
- As a child with unmet emotional needs
- And as a mother navigating burnout while trying to give her kids everything
We explore how:
- Childhood coping becomes adult codependency
- “Being the good child” often means losing your voice
The most liberating truth? Healing doesn’t require your parents’ permission. You don’t have to wait for them to become the parent you needed—you can become that safe place for yourself now.
I am so excited to share my codependency recovery workbook with you. Click on the link to be brough to Enough As I Am on Amazon.
🦋 Enough As I Am: Recovery workbook. On Amazon
Email: codependentdoctor@gmail.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello, my friend, and welcome back.
I'm so glad you're here today,because this episode is packed
with the kind of insight that Iwish someone had given me back
years ago.
If you've ever looked back onyour childhood and thought my
parents really meant well, but Istill got hurt in the process,
this episode is going to be foryou.
If you're a parent doing yourbest or a grown-up child who's
(00:22):
still trying to make sense ofwhat you didn't get, then stay
with me, because today we'rediving into the complexities of
being a parent and forgivingyour parents even when their
best wasn't enough.
We're going to talk about whatto do when there's no
instruction manual, when youhave that baby, and how to name
the gap between what you neededand what you got from your
parents, and why it's okay togrieve what didn't happen, even
(00:45):
if you were loved.
So you're going to hear aboutsome emotional tools, some of
those sneaky stories that wetell ourselves just to survive,
and what it really means toreclaim your voice and to write
a new story.
There's wisdom, compassion andmaybe even a few light laughs
along the way.
So be sure to grab a cozy drink, take a breath and let's talk
(01:06):
about the messy, tender andhuman side of parenting.
Let's get into it.
Welcome to the CodependentDoctor, a weekly podcast
focusing on all thingscodependency.
Are you struggling to loveyourself, feeling burnt out or
having trouble forming lovingand meaningful relationships?
I can help you heal from thepast and move forward with
(01:26):
healthier selves, healthierrelationships and healthier,
more fulfilling lives.
Join me as we reclaim yourauthentic self.
I'm your host, a family doctorand fellow codependent, dr
Angela Downey.
We can do this together.
Here we go.
Hello to all my wonderfulpodcast listeners and welcome to
(01:46):
the 51st episode of theCodependent Doctor.
I'm your host, dr Angela Downey, a family doctor and fellow
codependent who was sooverbooked that my idea of
parenting was cheering mychildren on from the laundry
pile.
Before I get started on thisepisode, I want to take a minute
to focus on what we're reallygrateful for.
You've probably heard it ahundred times just be grateful,
(02:10):
and if you're anything like me,you've probably rolled your eyes
at least once.
But here's the thing gratitudeisn't just some cheesy self-help
trend.
It's actually one of thesimplest ways to shift your
mindset without needing tooverhaul your entire life.
When we pause and think aboutwhat we're grateful for, even if
it's just something small, likemaybe a good cup of coffee or a
(02:32):
friend who texts back reallyquickly.
It helps your brain focus onwhat's working instead of
focusing on the things that arebroken.
It doesn't mean that we'reignoring the hard things.
It just gives us a little bitof balance, like, yeah, today
was stressful, but alsosomeone's ringtone went off in
the store the other day and itbrought me back to the days of
(02:53):
dancing at the club.
It was great.
I felt like a total rock starin line at the department store.
So no, being grateful forthings isn't going to fix all of
your problems, but it mightmake some of those problems feel
a little lighter.
Today, I'm really grateful formeditation.
A few years ago, I wasconstantly wound up before bed
and I knew that I neededsomething to help me unwind, and
(03:16):
that's when I started listeningto this calming music and doing
these guided meditations and,honestly, they changed my life.
So now I play soothing musicduring the day, while I work,
when I'm on my walks and everynight before bed.
I use this app called theInsight Timer.
It has this like huge libraryof meditations and relaxing
(03:37):
music, and I even got my partnerinto it.
So now our bedroom sounds likewe're sleeping in the middle of
some rainforest or somethingevery night.
It's, oddly, really magical.
And just so you know, this isnot an ad I'm not sponsored or
anything by Insight Timer.
I've used all sorts of appsbefore, like Calm and just
random stuff that I found onYouTube.
(03:57):
I just genuinely like listeningto soundscapes.
I find them really relaxing.
So today I guess I'm gratefulfor people who are putting out
content with relaxing music andsoundscapes, because they've
really helped me a lot.
So on with today's show.
When I first had my baby, Iremember standing there in the
(04:17):
hospital room holding this tinyhuman in my arms and thinking,
holy cow, like what now?
Human in my arms, and thinking,holy cow, like what now?
And 24 hours after getting home, I remember breathing this huge
sigh of relief because Icouldn't believe that I'd
managed to keep her alive thatlong.
When you leave the hospital,they give you this like little
package of diapers and apamphlet about maybe
(04:39):
breastfeeding, maybe a sample ofbaby shampoo, but what I really
needed was an instructionmanual.
I needed something that saidthis is your daughter, mia, and
this is how you're going toraise her.
These are all the things thatyou're going to face in life and
this is how you're going tohandle it.
But there's no such thing.
It would have been great tohave something that walked me
(05:00):
through all my child's uniquewiring and all their fears,
their quirks and what I shoulddo when they scream for no
reason at 3 am.
But that manual never came.
There is no manual, it's justme trying to figure things out
as I go along.
And then I had my second childand I thought okay, now I know
what I'm doing.
(05:21):
This is going to be easy.
I've done this before.
But no, it's a totallydifferent child, different
temperament, different needs,and once again, there is no
manual.
And that's the one thing that Ifeel like no one really tells
you about parenting.
It's a whole lot of trial anderror and, depending on your
personality, your stress levels,your support system or, let's
(05:43):
be honest, the amount of sleepthat you're getting, you do your
best each and every moment, butsometimes your best is going to
look different from one day tothe next and sometimes it might
not be enough for your child.
Some days you're patient andsome days you're calm.
Some days you're just tryingnot to lose your mind because
everyone wants something fromyou and you haven't peed alone
in five days, and that's notfailure, that's just called
(06:06):
parenting.
So add to that the complexitythat each child is wired
differently.
Some kids are more sensitive,some are more independent and
some need more structure.
Others need more freedom.
Some cry just because you cuttheir toast the wrong way and as
a parent, you're constantlytrying to read these invisible
(06:27):
cues while also juggling yourown life, your job, your
relationship, your mental health, maybe your past trauma showing
up in a new and reallyunexpected way, and no one
really prepares you for any ofthat.
We have this idealized versionof parenting in our heads,
especially for those of us whodidn't feel safe or unseen as
(06:48):
kids.
We think to ourselves I'm goingto do this differently, I'm
going to get it right.
And while there's so muchbeautiful intention behind all
that, it's also a setup.
You're setting yourself up forfailure, because there is no
such thing as getting it allright.
There's just doing the bestthat you can with what you have
in that moment.
And for most of us, we're justtrying to build the plane while
(07:12):
we're flying it.
At the same time, we're readingbooks and we're watching other
parents, we're listening topodcasts and maybe googling
things at 2am, like is my kid'stemper tantrum normal or are
they emotionally doomed forever?
The truth is that most parentsare doing this with a mix of
hope and fear and love andwhatever tools that we've picked
(07:34):
up along the way, and maybe forsome of us we didn't get a full
toolbox.
Maybe we're parenting withoutthe emotional instructions that
we wish that we would have hadourselves, which means that
we're not just raising kids,we're trying to reparent
ourselves in real time.
So if your parents didn't get itright all the time, or if
you're struggling as a parentyourself, I just want to say
(07:56):
this it doesn't mean that youweren't trying.
It doesn't mean that theyweren't trying.
It means that parenting isdeeply human and messy.
It's really confusing at timesand it's full of mismatches and
missed moments, but full ofgrowth.
So before I go any further, Iwant to pause and say something
(08:17):
really important here.
If you have experienced abuse,whether it's emotional, physical
or sexual or maybepsychological that's not just
imperfect parenting.
That's not okay.
There is no version of abusethat is ever excusable or
acceptable, and no matter howstressed or unsupported a parent
(08:40):
might have been, if that wasyour reality, please know that
your pain is valid and thehealing that you deserve might
be going beyond what thispodcast can give.
You might need support that'smore personal and more
specialized, from maybe atherapist or trauma-informed
support group or a safe space toprocess what you've been
through.
You didn't deserve any of thathurt and you don't have to carry
(09:02):
it alone.
So you're welcome to listen tothis podcast and I hope you get
something out of it, but pleasemake sure that you're getting
the help that you need.
So let's talk about somethingthat's often true and rarely
said out loud Not all parentsare equipped the same, and I
don't mean that in a judgy way.
I mean that it's the most humanand compassionate way possible.
(09:24):
I still remember during COVIDpeople talking about you know
we're all in the same boat, butin truth, not all boats are
built the same.
Some people have luxury yachtsand some people have these
little rowboats.
So, just like how we're not allin the same boat, not all
parents come with the sameskills or tools to be able to
(09:45):
raise kids the same way.
We're all made differently.
So think of it this way we allshow up for the job of parenting
with this toolbox.
Some people have a fullworkshop.
They've got every tool underthe sun Emotional regulation
Check, self-awareness, got it.
The ability to stay calm duringtoddler meltdowns in the middle
(10:06):
of a grocery store?
Yeah, they've got that shiny,well-oiled wrench too.
And then there are the parentswho are handed this rusty
screwdriver and a bent hammerand told good luck building a
whole house with that.
It's not fair and we're not allon equal footing here.
And it's not their fault.
Fair, and we're not all onequal footing here, and it's not
(10:29):
their fault.
The tools that we have or thatwe don't have, they come from
many different places.
Those tools come from how wewere raised, from the culture
that we grew up in, from thestress and the trauma that we've
carried, from the things thatwe were taught and the things
that we were never taught.
Some people grew up in homeswhere feelings were named and
validated, where others weretold to stop crying or sent to
(10:50):
the room until they could calmdown.
Some children were modeledpatience and repair.
Others grew up watching peopleslam doors or go silent for days
or pretend that nothing everhappened.
That becomes the blueprint.
And then, when we become adults, maybe even parents ourselves,
and suddenly we're supposed toknow how to handle everything
without ever having been shown.
(11:12):
When I was in medical school, Iwas doing everything that I
could to be a good parent.
I had two kids and I was tryingto juggle it all.
I had exam, I had 24 hour callshifts, the pressure to perform
and the constant exhaustion.
I was working 70 to 100 hours aweek running on fumes.
I would leave the hospital andhead straight home still in my
(11:32):
scrubs, and I was trying toswitch gears from doctor and
training to mom, with zerorecharge time in between.
On two occasions I rememberhelping my kids do their
homework after being awake for40 consecutive hours, and I
loved my kids deeply.
I still do more than anything,but I didn't always have the
tools or the energy or theemotional bandwidth.
(11:55):
I gave them every last drop ofenergy that I had, but I still
felt like it wasn't enough andsome days, if I'm being honest,
it probably wasn't enough.
I used to joke around that mykids learned to forage for food
at a really young age becausesometimes they had to.
That joke it comes with alittle bit of truth behind it.
(12:16):
I was there, but not alwaysfully, and I can see now how
they became independent, notjust by nature, but by necessity
.
Like many kids who were raisedby overwhelmed or emotionally
unavailable caregivers, they hadto figure things out on their
own.
A lot they adapted and theysurvived, because that's what
kids do.
(12:36):
And here's the part that'sreally hard to sit with.
Sometimes love just isn't goingto be enough to sit with.
Sometimes love just isn't goingto be enough.
It's possible to love yourchildren with your whole heart
and still not meet every needthat they had.
That doesn't mean that youfailed as a parent.
It just means that you're humanand it means that you're doing
(12:57):
the best that you could withwhat you had at that time.
But if you were that child inthe equation what you had at
that time, but if you were thatchild in the equation, the one
who needed more than what yourparent could give, it doesn't
always feel like they did theirbest.
Maybe it just feels likesomething was missing and that
ache can follow us intoadulthood, not because they
(13:18):
didn't love us, but because theydidn't have the tools and maybe
they didn't know how to golooking for them either.
Emotional neglect isn't alwaysthe result of malice or
intentional harm.
Sometimes it's the result ofabsence not just physical
absence, but emotional A parentwho's so distracted by survival
(13:38):
or mental illness or traumamaybe it's addictions that they
can't tune into what their childneeds and that child learns not
to ask for things.
The child learns to not needanything to try and keep the
peace.
They become self-sufficient waytoo early in life and I think
that a lot of us are walkingaround as adults with those
(13:59):
childhood survival strategiesstill running the show for us.
So if you've ever looked backat your childhood and thought
they tried but it wasn't goodenough, you're not being
ungrateful, you're not being toosensitive.
You're just being honest, andhonesty is the first step in
healing.
I believe that both things canbe true.
(14:20):
We can acknowledge that ourparents were under-equipped and
that we still needed more.
We can have compassion for whatthey lacked but grieve that we
were missing something.
We can say they did their best,and then we can also say that
we're carrying wounds because ofit.
So let's sit with the reallyhard part for a minute, the part
(14:43):
we don't like to admit becauseit feels messy or really
disloyal, and it's thisSometimes our parents' best just
wasn't good enough, and I knowit's really hard to say that out
loud, especially if you grew upbeing told how much your
parents sacrificed for you, howlucky you were, how much harder
(15:04):
they had it when they were young, or how they gave you
everything they could and maybethey did, maybe they truly were
doing their best that they couldwith what they had.
But it's okay to say that youstill got hurt in the process,
because harm doesn't just comefrom malice.
It also comes from absence.
It can come from disconnection,from inconsistency.
(15:25):
And kids don't just need lovein a general sense.
They need to feel safe.
They need to be seen andsoothed and supported.
They need someone to noticewhen something's wrong.
They need to be comforted whenthey're scared and not to be
told to stop crying.
They need boundaries that feelsafe, not moods that shift like
the weather.
(15:46):
Love isn't just what you feelfor your child.
It's what your child is goingto feel from you, and sometimes
the love was there but the restwasn't.
Maybe you loved your child, butdid they feel loved?
Did they feel like they weregetting what they needed?
Maybe you had a parent whonever said I love you, but they
always made sure that dinner wason the table, or one of those
(16:10):
parents who cheered loudly atsoccer games but shut down
completely when you had bigfeelings.
Maybe you had a parent who waskind one day and then cold the
next.
Maybe your parent meant well,but they left you walking on
eggshells and you were unsure ofwhat version of the parent that
you would get when they showedup.
That is going to leave a markand as adults we try to make
(16:30):
sense of that.
We can say things like, well,they were under a lot of stress
or they didn't know any better.
They did the best they could,and those things might all be
true.
But explanation is not the sameas justification.
Understanding where someonecame from doesn't mean that the
impact of their actionsdisappears.
(16:50):
It's like, let's say, somebodysteps on your foot.
They were distracted and maybethey didn't mean to, maybe they
didn't even notice that they didit, but your foot is still
going to hurt, you're stilllimping around and the bruise is
still real.
And if they never acknowledge it, if they never say hey, sorry,
I didn't realize I hurt you, youmight start to wonder if the
(17:11):
pain is your fault or if you'reoverreacting, or if it even
counts.
But it counts.
It counts that you didn't feellike you got what you needed and
naming that pain, even justquietly if you need to.
It's a radical act ofself-respect.
It's not about blaming.
It's about acknowledging thatyour needs mattered, that you
(17:32):
were a child who deservedemotional safety, not just a
shelter.
You were a child who needed tobe seen, not just fed and
clothed.
You can feel compassion foryour parents and still grieve
your younger self who didn't getwhat they needed.
You can see their wounds andstill name your own.
You can say they tried, but Ineeded more.
(17:52):
This is what healing looks like.
Sometimes this part of yourjourney brings up all sorts of
guilty feelings, especially ifyou're a parent now yourself.
If you're a parent now yourself, you're going to start to
realize how hard it is to alwaysshow up and to always get it
right and to always have enoughemotional gas in your tank.
That's part of being human.
But don't use your empathy toinvalidate your own experience.
(18:14):
Don't skip over the pain justbecause you understand where it
came from.
That's the bridge that we buildwhen we stop pretending that it
didn't hurt, when we stopminimizing or over explaining.
That's the bridge that we buildwhen we stop pretending that it
didn't hurt, when we stopminimizing or over explaining.
That's when the healing begins.
It's when you start telling thetruth with kindness to yourself
first.
So after we start naming thosegaps, the ones between what we
(18:36):
needed and what we actually got,something else often comes up.
It's those stories that we toldourselves to cope comes up.
It's those stories that we toldourselves to cope, because, as
kids, we don't have the abilityto say, hmm, my parent was
emotionally unavailable becausethey were overwhelmed and
carrying all this trauma.
No, we're going to internalizethat message.
We assume that it's us, weassume that we're the problem,
(18:59):
and so we start making sense ofthat in the only way that we
know how, and that's byadjusting ourselves.
We start to think maybe I'm toomuch, or if I can just be
better, then they're going to beproud of me.
Or if I don't need anything,maybe they're not going to get
upset with me.
We learn to shrink and toaccommodate.
We try to be helpful andvisible and easy and honestly,
(19:22):
that became a survival strategyfor a lot of us, and I've seen
this not only in myself but inmy own kids too.
When I was in medical school, Iwas so overextended.
I was working and studying andparenting and my kids, even when
they were little.
They picked up on that.
They didn't want to add to mystress, so they learned to keep
(19:42):
their needs really small.
They didn't want to ask for toomuch, so they learned to keep
their needs really small.
They didn't want to ask for toomuch.
And on one hand I'm proud of howresilient they are, but on the
other hand it really it breaksmy heart because I know that
quiet message, that message ofdon't rock the boat or don't ask
for more.
Those messages they're going tofollow us into adulthood and
(20:05):
that's where the whole goodchild identity gets baked in,
the one who gets praised forbeing mature or self-sufficient,
that child who's no trouble.
But inside there's often thisquiet grief, a sense of I didn't
get to be, just a kid, I shouldbe making mistakes and I should
be trying new things.
Just a kid, I should be makingmistakes and I should be trying
(20:26):
new things.
And what's really complicatedabout all of this is that a lot
of us still feel this deeployalty to the people who raised
us.
We tell ourselves but theysacrificed so much and they had
it way worse than I did, andmaybe that's true.
But love and grief can exist atthe same time.
You can have compassion foryour parents and what they went
through and still acknowledgethat ache that you carried.
(20:49):
Because when those earlydynamics aren't looked at,
they're going to show up laterand that's where codependency is
going to take root when we'reraised to be so in tune with
others that we lose track ofourselves, and when we grew up
thinking that it's our job tomake sure that everyone else is
okay, even at our own expense.
And even now, as adults, wemight find ourselves defending
(21:11):
our parents while privatelycarrying the weight of the unmet
needs deep inside.
Just because someone did thebest they could doesn't mean
that it was always enough, andit's okay to say that and it's
okay to name that gap.
That doesn't mean that you'reungrateful.
That just means that you'rehealing.
You're telling the truth, notjust for your inner child, but
also for the adult that you arenow, who deserves to stop
(21:32):
carrying this quietly Afterspending so many years trying to
explain or excuse or minimizewhat happened.
There comes a moment where weget to say that wasn't okay.
It's not so that we can blamepeople.
And it's not to hold a grudge,but it's to tell the truth.
It's not to hold a grudge, butit's to tell the truth and I
know how hard that can feel,especially if you're raised to
(21:54):
protect other people's feelingsor to smooth things over or to
be the understanding one there'sthis voice that still says but
they tried so hard, or theydidn't mean to hurt me, or other
people had it worse.
But naming your pain it doesn'tcancel out your gratitude.
It doesn't mean that you didn'tlove them or that they didn't
love you.
It means that you're ready tobe honest, maybe for the first
(22:16):
time in your life, about what itactually felt like to be you
when you were a child.
And yeah, that guilt is goingto show up.
It's this little knot in yourstomach that whispers.
I'm being really ungrateful.
But healing isn't betrayal.
Speaking your truth isn'tturning your back on your family
or your parents.
It's just turning inward towardyourself a little bit, because
(22:38):
that's where the healing isgoing to start.
When you stop asking questionslike was it really that bad?
And you start asking yourself,what did I need that I didn't
get?
You're allowed to tell yourstory and you're allowed to
recognize that you had thatstory.
You're allowed to tell yourstory and you're allowed to
recognize that you had thatstory.
You're allowed to feel bothlove and hurt and you're allowed
to reclaim your voice, even ifit shakes a little bit when you
(23:00):
try to use it.
Sometimes repairing therelationship with your parent
isn't always possible, andthat's okay.
Not every parent is going to becapable of giving you what you
needed back then or even now.
And even when you are done allof that inner work, even when we
are ready to have that healingconversation and maybe receive
(23:21):
that apology, they might not beable to meet us there.
Maybe they still don't see theharm that they caused, maybe
they can't acknowledge it, ormaybe they're just not
emotionally equipped to go therewith us.
Maybe they're carrying allsorts of shame with them and
they're just not able to hearwhat we need to say.
And that can be a reallypainful thing to accept, because
(23:42):
the child inside of us stillhopes.
We're still hoping for this daywhen our parents can say I'm
sorry, I didn't realize how muchI hurt you or I'm sorry that
you didn't get all the thingsthat you needed.
And I'm going to say thisreally gently but clearly
sometimes that day is just, it'sjust not going to come.
And if you've been holding yourhealing hostage while you wait
(24:03):
for someone else to validateyour pain?
I want to invite you toconsider this.
What if you are the only onewho can set yourself free?
Healing doesn't require theirpermission.
It doesn't require a signedconfession on their part or a
mutual moment of closure.
Of course all of that would bereally nice, and of course we
(24:26):
all want to be seen, but healingis an inside job and it's about
grieving what wasn't andchoosing every day to live in
what is.
For me, one of the most powerfulthings that I've done is write
letters that I never send, maybesending letters to a parent
that I wish I had, letters to myyounger self, letters to the
parts of me that still ache forthings that I know I won't get.
(24:49):
It's not about pretending.
It's about acknowledging thatloss and making space for the
feelings that I tried to swallowdown for years.
And if it feels helpful, youcan create your own kind of
closure.
You can go through therapy orjournaling, even something
symbolic like lighting a candleor planting something in the
ground.
It doesn't have to be superdramatic or public.
(25:11):
It just has to feel real foryou, because once we stop trying
to fix the past, we can finallystart focusing on the present.
We can start focusing on thekind of parent or friend or
partner that we want to be.
Now.
We don't heal by rewriting thestory.
We're going to heal by writingnew stories, and maybe part of
(25:32):
that new story is just remindingyourself I can build a
beautiful life, even if I didn'tget the beginning that I
deserved or needed or wanted.
So after all of this, after thegrief and the honesty and the
reckoning with what was and whatwasn't, we eventually come to
this tender question can Iforgive?
(25:53):
And I want to say this right upfront forgiveness isn't about
pretending that it didn't happen.
It's not about erasing the pastor letting anyone off the hook.
It's not about saying it's okaywhen really it wasn't.
For me, forgiveness is about mypeace.
It's about loosening the gripthat pain has on my present.
(26:14):
It's about saying I'm not goingto let this shape the rest of
my life, even if I still carryscars.
Those scars are going to bethere forever, but I'm still
going to move on.
And here's the thing that a lotof us tend to forget you can
forgive someone and still keepyour distance.
You can have compassion withoutgiving them full access to your
(26:36):
life.
You can release the hope thatthey're ever going to fully
understand what you're goingthrough and still choose to move
forward with softness andclarity, not because they earned
it, but because you deserve tofeel free.
Sometimes, the biggest act offorgiveness is simply letting go
of the fantasy that they'regoing to change, that someday
they're going to magicallybecome the parent that you
(26:57):
needed.
That moment might never come,and I know that that's really
hard for a lot of us to accept,but it can also be incredibly
freeing, because it means thatyou're no longer waiting.
Instead, you get to become thewise nurturing presence that you
needed.
Instead, you get to become thewise nurturing presence that you
(27:36):
needed, maybe for your own kids, maybe for the people in your
life and to move at their ownpace, on their own terms and in
their own time.
There is no right or wrong wayto reclaim your peace.
I want to thank you all forhanging out with me today.
If you liked the episode, I'dlove it if you could share it
with someone that you love whoneeds to hear it and heck, share
(27:57):
it with the whole world.
I'd love to help more peopleout there.
I'd also really appreciate itif you'd be so kind as to follow
me and maybe leave a comment.
I'm most active on Facebook, atthe Codependent Doctor, and
threads and Instagram atdrangela downey.
I wish you all a great week asyou learn to foster a better
relationship with the mostimportant person in your life
(28:19):
yourself.
I'm going to be moving torecording episodes every two
weeks from now on.
I'm working on a coupleprojects that I can't announce
just yet, but I'm really excitedto share them with you in the
future.
I'm going to talk to you againin two weeks with another
episode of the CodependentDoctor, when I'll be talking
about breakups.
Take care, for now You've gotthis.
Thank you for joining me and Ihope today's podcast resonated
(28:44):
with you.
Click, like and subscribe soyou don't miss any future
episodes and to help others whomight benefit.
This podcast is not meant toprovide medical advice and
should not replace seeing yourdoctor for mental health
concerns.
If you're having a mentalhealth crisis, please present to
a hospital, call 911, or yourlocal crisis helpline.
I'll talk to you next week foranother episode of the
(29:05):
Codependent Doctor.
We can do this together.
Hello, my friend, and welcome back.
I'm so glad you're here today,because this episode is packed
with the kind of insight that Iwish someone had given me back
years ago.
If you've ever looked back onyour childhood and thought my
parents really meant well, but Istill got hurt in the process,
this episode is going to be foryou.
If you're a parent doing yourbest or a grown-up child who's
(00:22):
still trying to make sense ofwhat you didn't get, then stay
with me, because today we'rediving into the complexities of
being a parent and forgivingyour parents even when their
best wasn't enough.
We're going to talk about whatto do when there's no
instruction manual, when youhave that baby, and how to name
the gap between what you neededand what you got from your
parents, and why it's okay togrieve what didn't happen, even
(00:45):
if you were loved.
So you're going to hear aboutsome emotional tools, some of
those sneaky stories that wetell ourselves just to survive,
and what it really means toreclaim your voice and to write
a new story.
There's wisdom, compassion andmaybe even a few light laughs
along the way.
So be sure to grab a cozy drink, take a breath and let's talk
(01:06):
about the messy, tender andhuman side of parenting.
Let's get into it.
Welcome to the CodependentDoctor, a weekly podcast
focusing on all thingscodependency.
Are you struggling to loveyourself, feeling burnt out or
having trouble forming lovingand meaningful relationships?
I can help you heal from thepast and move forward with
(01:26):
healthier selves, healthierrelationships and healthier,
more fulfilling lives.
Join me as we reclaim yourauthentic self.
I'm your host, a family doctorand fellow codependent, dr
Angela Downey.
We can do this together.
Here we go.
Hello to all my wonderfulpodcast listeners and welcome to
(01:46):
the 51st episode of theCodependent Doctor.
I'm your host, dr Angela Downey, a family doctor and fellow
codependent who was sooverbooked that my idea of
parenting was cheering mychildren on from the laundry
pile.
Before I get started on thisepisode, I want to take a minute
to focus on what we're reallygrateful for.
You've probably heard it ahundred times just be grateful,
(02:10):
and if you're anything like me,you've probably rolled your eyes
at least once.
But here's the thing gratitudeisn't just some cheesy self-help
trend.
It's actually one of thesimplest ways to shift your
mindset without needing tooverhaul your entire life.
When we pause and think aboutwhat we're grateful for, even if
it's just something small, likemaybe a good cup of coffee or a
(02:32):
friend who texts back reallyquickly.
It helps your brain focus onwhat's working instead of
focusing on the things that arebroken.
It doesn't mean that we'reignoring the hard things.
It just gives us a little bitof balance, like, yeah, today
was stressful, but alsosomeone's ringtone went off in
the store the other day and itbrought me back to the days of
(02:53):
dancing at the club.
It was great.
I felt like a total rock starin line at the department store.
So no, being grateful forthings isn't going to fix all of
your problems, but it mightmake some of those problems feel
a little lighter.
Today, I'm really grateful formeditation.
A few years ago, I wasconstantly wound up before bed
and I knew that I neededsomething to help me unwind, and
(03:16):
that's when I started listeningto this calming music and doing
these guided meditations and,honestly, they changed my life.
So now I play soothing musicduring the day, while I work,
when I'm on my walks and everynight before bed.
I use this app called theInsight Timer.
It has this like huge libraryof meditations and relaxing
(03:37):
music, and I even got my partnerinto it.
So now our bedroom sounds likewe're sleeping in the middle of
some rainforest or somethingevery night.
It's, oddly, really magical.
And just so you know, this isnot an ad I'm not sponsored or
anything by Insight Timer.
I've used all sorts of appsbefore, like Calm and just
random stuff that I found onYouTube.
(03:57):
I just genuinely like listeningto soundscapes.
I find them really relaxing.
So today I guess I'm gratefulfor people who are putting out
content with relaxing music andsoundscapes, because they've
really helped me a lot.
So on with today's show.
When I first had my baby, Iremember standing there in the
(04:17):
hospital room holding this tinyhuman in my arms and thinking,
holy cow, like what now?
Human in my arms, and thinking,holy cow, like what now?
And 24 hours after getting home, I remember breathing this huge
sigh of relief because Icouldn't believe that I'd
managed to keep her alive thatlong.
When you leave the hospital,they give you this like little
package of diapers and apamphlet about maybe
(04:39):
breastfeeding, maybe a sample ofbaby shampoo, but what I really
needed was an instructionmanual.
I needed something that saidthis is your daughter, mia, and
this is how you're going toraise her.
These are all the things thatyou're going to face in life and
this is how you're going tohandle it.
But there's no such thing.
It would have been great tohave something that walked me
(05:00):
through all my child's uniquewiring and all their fears,
their quirks and what I shoulddo when they scream for no
reason at 3 am.
But that manual never came.
There is no manual, it's justme trying to figure things out
as I go along.
And then I had my second childand I thought okay, now I know
what I'm doing.
(05:21):
This is going to be easy.
I've done this before.
But no, it's a totallydifferent child, different
temperament, different needs,and once again, there is no
manual.
And that's the one thing that Ifeel like no one really tells
you about parenting.
It's a whole lot of trial anderror and, depending on your
personality, your stress levels,your support system or, let's
(05:43):
be honest, the amount of sleepthat you're getting, you do your
best each and every moment, butsometimes your best is going to
look different from one day tothe next and sometimes it might
not be enough for your child.
Some days you're patient andsome days you're calm.
Some days you're just tryingnot to lose your mind because
everyone wants something fromyou and you haven't peed alone
in five days, and that's notfailure, that's just called
(06:06):
parenting.
So add to that the complexitythat each child is wired
differently.
Some kids are more sensitive,some are more independent and
some need more structure.
Others need more freedom.
Some cry just because you cuttheir toast the wrong way and as
a parent, you're constantlytrying to read these invisible
(06:27):
cues while also juggling yourown life, your job, your
relationship, your mental health, maybe your past trauma showing
up in a new and reallyunexpected way, and no one
really prepares you for any ofthat.
We have this idealized versionof parenting in our heads,
especially for those of us whodidn't feel safe or unseen as
(06:48):
kids.
We think to ourselves I'm goingto do this differently, I'm
going to get it right.
And while there's so muchbeautiful intention behind all
that, it's also a setup.
You're setting yourself up forfailure, because there is no
such thing as getting it allright.
There's just doing the bestthat you can with what you have
in that moment.
And for most of us, we're justtrying to build the plane while
(07:12):
we're flying it.
At the same time, we're readingbooks and we're watching other
parents, we're listening topodcasts and maybe googling
things at 2am, like is my kid'stemper tantrum normal or are
they emotionally doomed forever?
The truth is that most parentsare doing this with a mix of
hope and fear and love andwhatever tools that we've picked
(07:34):
up along the way, and maybe forsome of us we didn't get a full
toolbox.
Maybe we're parenting withoutthe emotional instructions that
we wish that we would have hadourselves, which means that
we're not just raising kids,we're trying to reparent
ourselves in real time.
So if your parents didn't get itright all the time, or if
you're struggling as a parentyourself, I just want to say
(07:56):
this it doesn't mean that youweren't trying.
It doesn't mean that theyweren't trying.
It means that parenting isdeeply human and messy.
It's really confusing at timesand it's full of mismatches and
missed moments, but full ofgrowth.
So before I go any further, Iwant to pause and say something
(08:17):
really important here.
If you have experienced abuse,whether it's emotional, physical
or sexual or maybepsychological that's not just
imperfect parenting.
That's not okay.
There is no version of abusethat is ever excusable or
acceptable, and no matter howstressed or unsupported a parent
(08:40):
might have been, if that wasyour reality, please know that
your pain is valid and thehealing that you deserve might
be going beyond what thispodcast can give.
You might need support that'smore personal and more
specialized, from maybe atherapist or trauma-informed
support group or a safe space toprocess what you've been
through.
You didn't deserve any of thathurt and you don't have to carry
(09:02):
it alone.
So you're welcome to listen tothis podcast and I hope you get
something out of it, but pleasemake sure that you're getting
the help that you need.
So let's talk about somethingthat's often true and rarely
said out loud Not all parentsare equipped the same, and I
don't mean that in a judgy way.
I mean that it's the most humanand compassionate way possible.
(09:24):
I still remember during COVIDpeople talking about you know
we're all in the same boat, butin truth, not all boats are
built the same.
Some people have luxury yachtsand some people have these
little rowboats.
So, just like how we're not allin the same boat, not all
parents come with the sameskills or tools to be able to
(09:45):
raise kids the same way.
We're all made differently.
So think of it this way we allshow up for the job of parenting
with this toolbox.
Some people have a fullworkshop.
They've got every tool underthe sun Emotional regulation
Check, self-awareness, got it.
The ability to stay calm duringtoddler meltdowns in the middle
(10:06):
of a grocery store?
Yeah, they've got that shiny,well-oiled wrench too.
And then there are the parentswho are handed this rusty
screwdriver and a bent hammerand told good luck building a
whole house with that.
It's not fair and we're not allon equal footing here.
And it's not their fault.
Fair, and we're not all onequal footing here, and it's not
(10:29):
their fault.
The tools that we have or thatwe don't have, they come from
many different places.
Those tools come from how wewere raised, from the culture
that we grew up in, from thestress and the trauma that we've
carried, from the things thatwe were taught and the things
that we were never taught.
Some people grew up in homeswhere feelings were named and
validated, where others weretold to stop crying or sent to
(10:50):
the room until they could calmdown.
Some children were modeledpatience and repair.
Others grew up watching peopleslam doors or go silent for days
or pretend that nothing everhappened.
That becomes the blueprint.
And then, when we become adults, maybe even parents ourselves,
and suddenly we're supposed toknow how to handle everything
without ever having been shown.
(11:12):
When I was in medical school, Iwas doing everything that I
could to be a good parent.
I had two kids and I was tryingto juggle it all.
I had exam, I had 24 hour callshifts, the pressure to perform
and the constant exhaustion.
I was working 70 to 100 hours aweek running on fumes.
I would leave the hospital andhead straight home still in my
(11:32):
scrubs, and I was trying toswitch gears from doctor and
training to mom, with zerorecharge time in between.
On two occasions I rememberhelping my kids do their
homework after being awake for40 consecutive hours, and I
loved my kids deeply.
I still do more than anything,but I didn't always have the
tools or the energy or theemotional bandwidth.
(11:55):
I gave them every last drop ofenergy that I had, but I still
felt like it wasn't enough andsome days, if I'm being honest,
it probably wasn't enough.
I used to joke around that mykids learned to forage for food
at a really young age becausesometimes they had to.
That joke it comes with alittle bit of truth behind it.
(12:16):
I was there, but not alwaysfully, and I can see now how
they became independent, notjust by nature, but by necessity
.
Like many kids who were raisedby overwhelmed or emotionally
unavailable caregivers, they hadto figure things out on their
own.
A lot they adapted and theysurvived, because that's what
kids do.
(12:36):
And here's the part that'sreally hard to sit with.
Sometimes love just isn't goingto be enough to sit with.
Sometimes love just isn't goingto be enough.
It's possible to love yourchildren with your whole heart
and still not meet every needthat they had.
That doesn't mean that youfailed as a parent.
It just means that you're humanand it means that you're doing
(12:57):
the best that you could withwhat you had at that time.
But if you were that child inthe equation what you had at
that time, but if you were thatchild in the equation, the one
who needed more than what yourparent could give, it doesn't
always feel like they did theirbest.
Maybe it just feels likesomething was missing and that
ache can follow us intoadulthood, not because they
(13:18):
didn't love us, but because theydidn't have the tools and maybe
they didn't know how to golooking for them either.
Emotional neglect isn't alwaysthe result of malice or
intentional harm.
Sometimes it's the result ofabsence not just physical
absence, but emotional A parentwho's so distracted by survival
(13:38):
or mental illness or traumamaybe it's addictions that they
can't tune into what their childneeds and that child learns not
to ask for things.
The child learns to not needanything to try and keep the
peace.
They become self-sufficient waytoo early in life and I think
that a lot of us are walkingaround as adults with those
(13:59):
childhood survival strategiesstill running the show for us.
So if you've ever looked backat your childhood and thought
they tried but it wasn't goodenough, you're not being
ungrateful, you're not being toosensitive.
You're just being honest, andhonesty is the first step in
healing.
I believe that both things canbe true.
(14:20):
We can acknowledge that ourparents were under-equipped and
that we still needed more.
We can have compassion for whatthey lacked but grieve that we
were missing something.
We can say they did their best,and then we can also say that
we're carrying wounds because ofit.
So let's sit with the reallyhard part for a minute, the part
(14:43):
we don't like to admit becauseit feels messy or really
disloyal, and it's thisSometimes our parents' best just
wasn't good enough, and I knowit's really hard to say that out
loud, especially if you grew upbeing told how much your
parents sacrificed for you, howlucky you were, how much harder
(15:04):
they had it when they were young, or how they gave you
everything they could and maybethey did, maybe they truly were
doing their best that they couldwith what they had.
But it's okay to say that youstill got hurt in the process,
because harm doesn't just comefrom malice.
It also comes from absence.
It can come from disconnection,from inconsistency.
(15:25):
And kids don't just need lovein a general sense.
They need to feel safe.
They need to be seen andsoothed and supported.
They need someone to noticewhen something's wrong.
They need to be comforted whenthey're scared and not to be
told to stop crying.
They need boundaries that feelsafe, not moods that shift like
the weather.
(15:46):
Love isn't just what you feelfor your child.
It's what your child is goingto feel from you, and sometimes
the love was there but the restwasn't.
Maybe you loved your child, butdid they feel loved?
Did they feel like they weregetting what they needed?
Maybe you had a parent whonever said I love you, but they
always made sure that dinner wason the table, or one of those
(16:10):
parents who cheered loudly atsoccer games but shut down
completely when you had bigfeelings.
Maybe you had a parent who waskind one day and then cold the
next.
Maybe your parent meant well,but they left you walking on
eggshells and you were unsure ofwhat version of the parent that
you would get when they showedup.
That is going to leave a markand as adults we try to make
(16:30):
sense of that.
We can say things like, well,they were under a lot of stress
or they didn't know any better.
They did the best they could,and those things might all be
true.
But explanation is not the sameas justification.
Understanding where someonecame from doesn't mean that the
impact of their actionsdisappears.
(16:50):
It's like, let's say, somebodysteps on your foot.
They were distracted and maybethey didn't mean to, maybe they
didn't even notice that they didit, but your foot is still
going to hurt, you're stilllimping around and the bruise is
still real.
And if they never acknowledge it, if they never say hey, sorry,
I didn't realize I hurt you, youmight start to wonder if the
(17:11):
pain is your fault or if you'reoverreacting, or if it even
counts.
But it counts.
It counts that you didn't feellike you got what you needed and
naming that pain, even justquietly if you need to.
It's a radical act ofself-respect.
It's not about blaming.
It's about acknowledging thatyour needs mattered, that you
(17:32):
were a child who deservedemotional safety, not just a
shelter.
You were a child who needed tobe seen, not just fed and
clothed.
You can feel compassion foryour parents and still grieve
your younger self who didn't getwhat they needed.
You can see their wounds andstill name your own.
You can say they tried, but Ineeded more.
(17:52):
This is what healing looks like.
Sometimes this part of yourjourney brings up all sorts of
guilty feelings, especially ifyou're a parent now yourself.
If you're a parent now yourself, you're going to start to
realize how hard it is to alwaysshow up and to always get it
right and to always have enoughemotional gas in your tank.
That's part of being human.
But don't use your empathy toinvalidate your own experience.
(18:14):
Don't skip over the pain justbecause you understand where it
came from.
That's the bridge that we buildwhen we stop pretending that it
didn't hurt, when we stopminimizing or over explaining.
That's the bridge that we buildwhen we stop pretending that it
didn't hurt, when we stopminimizing or over explaining.
That's when the healing begins.
It's when you start telling thetruth with kindness to yourself
first.
So after we start naming thosegaps, the ones between what we
(18:36):
needed and what we actually got,something else often comes up.
It's those stories that we toldourselves to cope comes up.
It's those stories that we toldourselves to cope, because, as
kids, we don't have the abilityto say, hmm, my parent was
emotionally unavailable becausethey were overwhelmed and
carrying all this trauma.
No, we're going to internalizethat message.
We assume that it's us, weassume that we're the problem,
(18:59):
and so we start making sense ofthat in the only way that we
know how, and that's byadjusting ourselves.
We start to think maybe I'm toomuch, or if I can just be
better, then they're going to beproud of me.
Or if I don't need anything,maybe they're not going to get
upset with me.
We learn to shrink and toaccommodate.
We try to be helpful andvisible and easy and honestly,
(19:22):
that became a survival strategyfor a lot of us, and I've seen
this not only in myself but inmy own kids too.
When I was in medical school, Iwas so overextended.
I was working and studying andparenting and my kids, even when
they were little.
They picked up on that.
They didn't want to add to mystress, so they learned to keep
(19:42):
their needs really small.
They didn't want to ask for toomuch, so they learned to keep
their needs really small.
They didn't want to ask for toomuch.
And on one hand I'm proud of howresilient they are, but on the
other hand it really it breaksmy heart because I know that
quiet message, that message ofdon't rock the boat or don't ask
for more.
Those messages they're going tofollow us into adulthood and
(20:05):
that's where the whole goodchild identity gets baked in,
the one who gets praised forbeing mature or self-sufficient,
that child who's no trouble.
But inside there's often thisquiet grief, a sense of I didn't
get to be, just a kid, I shouldbe making mistakes and I should
be trying new things.
Just a kid, I should be makingmistakes and I should be trying
(20:26):
new things.
And what's really complicatedabout all of this is that a lot
of us still feel this deeployalty to the people who raised
us.
We tell ourselves but theysacrificed so much and they had
it way worse than I did, andmaybe that's true.
But love and grief can exist atthe same time.
You can have compassion foryour parents and what they went
through and still acknowledgethat ache that you carried.
(20:49):
Because when those earlydynamics aren't looked at,
they're going to show up laterand that's where codependency is
going to take root when we'reraised to be so in tune with
others that we lose track ofourselves, and when we grew up
thinking that it's our job tomake sure that everyone else is
okay, even at our own expense.
And even now, as adults, wemight find ourselves defending
(21:11):
our parents while privatelycarrying the weight of the unmet
needs deep inside.
Just because someone did thebest they could doesn't mean
that it was always enough, andit's okay to say that and it's
okay to name that gap.
That doesn't mean that you'reungrateful.
That just means that you'rehealing.
You're telling the truth, notjust for your inner child, but
also for the adult that you arenow, who deserves to stop
(21:32):
carrying this quietly Afterspending so many years trying to
explain or excuse or minimizewhat happened.
There comes a moment where weget to say that wasn't okay.
It's not so that we can blamepeople.
And it's not to hold a grudge,but it's to tell the truth.
It's not to hold a grudge, butit's to tell the truth and I
know how hard that can feel,especially if you're raised to
(21:54):
protect other people's feelingsor to smooth things over or to
be the understanding one there'sthis voice that still says but
they tried so hard, or theydidn't mean to hurt me, or other
people had it worse.
But naming your pain it doesn'tcancel out your gratitude.
It doesn't mean that you didn'tlove them or that they didn't
love you.
It means that you're ready tobe honest, maybe for the first
(22:16):
time in your life, about what itactually felt like to be you
when you were a child.
And yeah, that guilt is goingto show up.
It's this little knot in yourstomach that whispers.
I'm being really ungrateful.
But healing isn't betrayal.
Speaking your truth isn'tturning your back on your family
or your parents.
It's just turning inward towardyourself a little bit, because
(22:38):
that's where the healing isgoing to start.
When you stop asking questionslike was it really that bad?
And you start asking yourself,what did I need that I didn't
get?
You're allowed to tell yourstory and you're allowed to
recognize that you had thatstory.
You're allowed to tell yourstory and you're allowed to
recognize that you had thatstory.
You're allowed to feel bothlove and hurt and you're allowed
to reclaim your voice, even ifit shakes a little bit when you
(23:00):
try to use it.
Sometimes repairing therelationship with your parent
isn't always possible, andthat's okay.
Not every parent is going to becapable of giving you what you
needed back then or even now.
And even when you are done allof that inner work, even when we
are ready to have that healingconversation and maybe receive
(23:21):
that apology, they might not beable to meet us there.
Maybe they still don't see theharm that they caused, maybe
they can't acknowledge it, ormaybe they're just not
emotionally equipped to go therewith us.
Maybe they're carrying allsorts of shame with them and
they're just not able to hearwhat we need to say.
And that can be a reallypainful thing to accept, because
(23:42):
the child inside of us stillhopes.
We're still hoping for this daywhen our parents can say I'm
sorry, I didn't realize how muchI hurt you or I'm sorry that
you didn't get all the thingsthat you needed.
And I'm going to say thisreally gently but clearly
sometimes that day is just, it'sjust not going to come.
And if you've been holding yourhealing hostage while you wait
(24:03):
for someone else to validateyour pain?
I want to invite you toconsider this.
What if you are the only onewho can set yourself free?
Healing doesn't require theirpermission.
It doesn't require a signedconfession on their part or a
mutual moment of closure.
Of course all of that would bereally nice, and of course we
(24:26):
all want to be seen, but healingis an inside job and it's about
grieving what wasn't andchoosing every day to live in
what is.
For me, one of the most powerfulthings that I've done is write
letters that I never send, maybesending letters to a parent
that I wish I had, letters to myyounger self, letters to the
parts of me that still ache forthings that I know I won't get.
(24:49):
It's not about pretending.
It's about acknowledging thatloss and making space for the
feelings that I tried to swallowdown for years.
And if it feels helpful, youcan create your own kind of
closure.
You can go through therapy orjournaling, even something
symbolic like lighting a candleor planting something in the
ground.
It doesn't have to be superdramatic or public.
(25:11):
It just has to feel real foryou, because once we stop trying
to fix the past, we can finallystart focusing on the present.
We can start focusing on thekind of parent or friend or
partner that we want to be.
Now.
We don't heal by rewriting thestory.
We're going to heal by writingnew stories, and maybe part of
(25:32):
that new story is just remindingyourself I can build a
beautiful life, even if I didn'tget the beginning that I
deserved or needed or wanted.
So after all of this, after thegrief and the honesty and the
reckoning with what was and whatwasn't, we eventually come to
this tender question can Iforgive?
(25:53):
And I want to say this right upfront forgiveness isn't about
pretending that it didn't happen.
It's not about erasing the pastor letting anyone off the hook.
It's not about saying it's okaywhen really it wasn't.
For me, forgiveness is about mypeace.
It's about loosening the gripthat pain has on my present.
(26:14):
It's about saying I'm not goingto let this shape the rest of
my life, even if I still carryscars.
Those scars are going to bethere forever, but I'm still
going to move on.
And here's the thing that a lotof us tend to forget you can
forgive someone and still keepyour distance.
You can have compassion withoutgiving them full access to your
(26:36):
life.
You can release the hope thatthey're ever going to fully
understand what you're goingthrough and still choose to move
forward with softness andclarity, not because they earned
it, but because you deserve tofeel free.
Sometimes, the biggest act offorgiveness is simply letting go
of the fantasy that they'regoing to change, that someday
they're going to magicallybecome the parent that you
(26:57):
needed.
That moment might never come,and I know that that's really
hard for a lot of us to accept,but it can also be incredibly
freeing, because it means thatyou're no longer waiting.
Instead, you get to become thewise nurturing presence that you
needed.
Instead, you get to become thewise nurturing presence that you
(27:36):
needed, maybe for your own kids, maybe for the people in your
life and to move at their ownpace, on their own terms and in
their own time.
There is no right or wrong wayto reclaim your peace.
I want to thank you all forhanging out with me today.
If you liked the episode, I'dlove it if you could share it
with someone that you love whoneeds to hear it and heck, share
(27:57):
it with the whole world.
I'd love to help more peopleout there.
I'd also really appreciate itif you'd be so kind as to follow
me and maybe leave a comment.
I'm most active on Facebook, atthe Codependent Doctor, and
threads and Instagram atdrangela downey.
I wish you all a great week asyou learn to foster a better
relationship with the mostimportant person in your life
(28:19):
yourself.
I'm going to be moving torecording episodes every two
weeks from now on.
I'm working on a coupleprojects that I can't announce
just yet, but I'm really excitedto share them with you in the
future.
I'm going to talk to you againin two weeks with another
episode of the CodependentDoctor, when I'll be talking
about breakups.
Take care, for now You've gotthis.
Thank you for joining me and Ihope today's podcast resonated
(28:44):
with you.
Click, like and subscribe soyou don't miss any future
episodes and to help others whomight benefit.
This podcast is not meant toprovide medical advice and
should not replace seeing yourdoctor for mental health
concerns.
If you're having a mentalhealth crisis, please present to
a hospital, call 911, or yourlocal crisis helpline.
I'll talk to you next week foranother episode of the
(29:05):
Codependent Doctor.
We can do this together.
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