November 10, 2025 • 45 mins
In this episode, I sit down with speaker and coach Kelly Parker to talk about what it really means to break the script — those old stories and childhood beliefs that quietly shape how we show up in life, work, and relationships. Kelly shares how to recognize limiting beliefs, where they come from, and practical ways to rewrite them so you can live more authentically and confidently. If you’ve ever struggled with people-pleasing, perfectionism, or feeling “not enough,” this conversation will help you start reclaiming your voice and your worth.
Connect with Kelly Parker:
🌿 Free resource: Unscripted: A Reflective Roadmap to Reclaim Your Voice, Your Vision, and Your Worth
💬 Facebook Group: @Kellypassionandpurpose
📸 Instagram: @passiontoprofitplan
This episode includes a paid partnership with BetterHelp. Click this link, betterhelp.com/drdowney, to get 10% off your first month.
📗 My Books: Enough as I Am (codependency recovery) Enough as I Grow (365 day guide journal). Affiliate disclosure: I am an affiliate parner with Amazon and therefore receive a commission at no cost to you.
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🛜 My Website DrAngelaDowney
Email: codependentdoctor@gmail.com
Social Media links: Here
🎵 Music: Touching The Air by Graceful Movement
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_01 (00:00):
Today we're going to be diving into something that
(00:01):
hits close to home for many ofus.
These scripts that we keepfollowing without even realizing
it.
You know those unspoken rulesand beliefs from childhood that
quietly shape how we show up inrelationships, in our careers,
and even how we see ourselves?
In this conversation with KellyParker, we're going to be
talking about how to spot thoseold patterns, what it takes to
rewrite the story, and how tostart building a life that
(00:23):
actually feels like you.
So if you've ever wondered whyyou keep falling into the same
rules or beliefs that don'treally fit anymore, this episode
is for you.
Welcome to the CodependentDoctor, a podcast where we
unpack the messy, beautifuljourney of healing from
codependency.
If you're burned out from peoplepleasing, stuck in unhealthy
patterns, or just tired ofputting yourself last, you're in
(00:44):
the right place.
I'm Dr.
Angela Downey, a family doctorand fellow codependent, and I'm
here to help you reconnect toyour authentic self.
One honest conversation at atime.
Here we go.
Hello to all my wonderfulpodcast listeners, and welcome
to the Codependent Doctor.
I'm your host, Dr.
Angela Downey, a family doctorand fellow codependent, who's
(01:04):
here to help us untangle ourpatterns, heal our hearts, and
reclaim our peace.
For today's episode, we have aguest with us.
Kelly Parker is a speaker,coach, and founder of the Make
Your Mark movement.
After years in direct sales,Kelly realized that she was
following a script that nolonger fit and began the brave
work of rewriting her story.
Today she helps women rediscoverwho they are beyond the roles
(01:26):
that they've been given and stepinto purpose-led businesses that
reflect their voices and values.
Through mindset shifts, personalstorytelling, and practical
clarity, Kelly empowers women tostop performing and start
building a life that finallyfeels like them.
I'm so excited to have her heretoday on the show with us.
What I love about her work isthat it's not just about
mindset.
(01:47):
It's about helping us step outof performance mode and into the
lives that truly feel alignedwith who we are.
I know this is going to give yousome light bulb moments and
practical tools to startshifting your own story.
So let's all give Kelly a warmwelcome to the show.
Welcome, Kelly.
I'm so glad that you're able tojoin us today.
How are you?
I'm great.
Great.
One of the traditions on my showis that we discuss what we're
(02:09):
grateful for because when westop and think about what we're
grateful for, it helps ourbrains focus on what's working
instead of what's missing.
So I'd like to ask you, is thereanything that you're especially
grateful for today?
SPEAKER_00 (02:20):
Today, specifically, I am grateful for this
opportunity because for so longI didn't think I had a story
that was worth sharing, that itwasn't extravagant enough to
make a difference.
And I'm just grateful that Ihave found my story and that I
do believe that it has value andthat I have this opportunity to
(02:43):
share it.
SPEAKER_01 (02:45):
I love that.
It probably took a long time foryou to recognize that though.
SPEAKER_00 (02:49):
It took a long actually, I just didn't know it.
But once it happened, ithappened quickly.
But it's been a long roadcoming.
SPEAKER_01 (02:58):
Yeah, and we're definitely going to be getting
into that journey.
For me, I'm I'm grateful for mypartner.
She is like the best part of myday, and I'm so grateful to have
her love and her support and herwords of wisdom with me every
day.
She puts up with a lot becauseI'm like obsessed about my
podcast.
So I do appreciate the supportand all the time she lets me
(03:19):
have in doing my little passionprojects.
Yay!
SPEAKER_00 (03:22):
That's right.
Yay.
SPEAKER_01 (03:23):
So maybe we can start by having you introduce
yourself and tell us about yourjourney to becoming a coach and
founder of the Make Your Markmovement.
SPEAKER_00 (03:32):
Yes.
Went to college like we weresupposed to, got a degree in
education, homeschooled for 11years, dabbled in different
career industry areas throughoutthe years that I would get bored
with that one and burn out anddo another one.
Another shiny object came along,and oh, that one's the one for
me that I'm gonna make it in andbe a success.
(03:55):
Twenty-five years of that, andjust going in excited and
fizzling out and quitting andfailing, and it just was a
pattern.
So I always had that littlespark of entrepreneurship, but I
really didn't know that's whatit was.
I just knew I wanted to be makea difference and I wanted to be
successful and I wanted to makemoney at it, and I never could
(04:15):
figure out why I couldn't makeit work.
I couldn't be successful, and soI wanted to start my own
business and quit at that toolast year.
So that's kind of my storyleading up to where I am today.
First, I made a decision.
I'm going to stick this out, I'mgoing to get this business off
(04:36):
the ground.
I know what I want to do.
I've always wanted to teach andtrain and help people and show
them this or that, guide them.
But it wasn't until I uncoveredsome of my limiting beliefs to
find out what was holding meback, why it held me back.
And now it has uh changedeverything.
(05:00):
It's just made all thedifference that for why I'm even
here today.
I wouldn't wouldn't have donethis before.
SPEAKER_01 (05:06):
Kelly, you talk about breaking the script.
And for those who of us who arelistening who feel like they've
been living their life onautopilot, following these roles
that are set for us and theseexpectations that are handed
down to us, how do you describewhat it means to notice that
you're living from a script inthe first place?
SPEAKER_00 (05:24):
I didn't at first.
I didn't realize I was.
I think uh women in general havea script written for them
overall, just that even if we dowork and you know, two working
household, it's still like it'sin our script to come home and
cook and clean and get the kidsready for bed.
You know, it's just uh ingrainedscript that we are living in,
(05:47):
still are a lot of ways.
So we've got those scripts, thethe cultural scripts that we've
had, and we've also got scriptsthat that were developed in
childhood that just things thatwere said, things that have
happened that we have trainedour brain to think and believe.
So those scripts.
And then also in the directmarketing world where I was for
(06:12):
so long in and out of, they giveyou scripts to use.
You know, they give you the copyand paste, you know.
If you see uh people in the samecompany, it's exact thing,
everybody says the exact samething.
So we're scripted in so manyways.
And it's just uh uh it's not us,it's not authentically us, who
(06:34):
we really are, who we are on theinside and what lights us up and
and speaking authentically.
So we're not, it's like a youknow, everybody says fake it
till you make it.
Well, yeah, everybody's fakingit, but I they're not making it,
and I don't believe that any,you know.
I may have thought, okay, I'lljust fake it till I believe it,
(06:55):
but a belief is not necessarilythe truth, and that's what I've
learned that all these beliefsthat I've been living aren't
founded on truth, they're justfounded on somebody else's
belief or perception.
SPEAKER_01 (07:11):
One of the biggest scripts I think that I follow is
if I bump into someone, they askme how I'm doing.
I always say I'm doing good.
How are you?
Even though I'm not even thoughI'm not doing good, but I feel
like I'm almost I have to saythat because I don't want to be
a bother.
I don't want to, you know,burden that other person with
with my problems.
So I mean that's probably one ofthe most obvious scripts for me.
(07:31):
In addition to the hundred otherscripts that I learned as a
child.
unknown (07:35):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (07:35):
We are conditioned to be small, you know, to not
cause trouble, to be good andjust to lay low and just be.
And it's not necessarily abother to people, maybe if you
say, Well, you know, today's notbeen the best, but that's okay.
I I'm pushing through it andtomorrow will be better.
Just to be honest.
(07:56):
And then there's the time peoplewill like and then spill their,
you know, tell you their wholestory.
And, you know, sometimes we'relike, oh my gosh, I was in the
store forever.
I ran into so-and-so, and shetold me her life story, bless
her heart, you know, we do that.
But maybe she didn't haveanybody else to tell.
You know, I mean, maybe you'rethe only person that listened to
(08:16):
them today.
And I don't know.
I think we just are critical ofanything we do.
True.
You know, just like we'recritical for saying I'm great,
even though I'm not.
I'm critical if I say I'm notgreat because they don't want to
hear it, they don't care.
We are so critical ofeverything.
And just to be free to just saywhat you want.
(08:36):
Yeah.
I think it's just wish we weremore like that, you know.
Yeah.
And not so worried.
Because that was me.
Comparison and judgment andworry was holding me back big.
SPEAKER_01 (08:48):
Yeah, you're not worth anybody else's time to
listen to what's going on inyour life.
Yep.
Many of my listeners, we grew upin families where people
pleasing and self-sacrifice wasalmost expected.
And this is something we seewith women a lot, but we see
with men too.
So can you share how childhoodbeliefs and early patterns
quietly shape how we show up inour lives and our businesses
(09:11):
later on?
SPEAKER_00 (09:12):
Yeah, that's how I kind of uncovered and dug down
deep to see my limiting beliefs.
But I know I was a peoplepleaser.
I've always been a peoplepleaser.
I played small, stayed quiet, Ididn't speak out, I didn't ask
for help, but I wanted tobelong.
I wanted to feel like I belongedto whatever that particular day
(09:34):
was, you know, whether it bethis little crowd of people or
this cheerleader or the popularcrowd, you know, just to be
belong, wanted and needed.
And so I I didn't want to eversay no.
I wanted to make sure people, ifsomebody wanted me to do
something, even if I reallydidn't want to, I still said
yes, even as a child.
And I've learned as an adult,even up through this past year,
(09:59):
uh, things I wanted to do, Iwould l allow other things to
take precedence.
Even if I said, okay, I'm gonnado this today for my business,
and then I might get a phonecall, or you know, are you able
to watch the kids today for acouple hours?
Or my daughter, you know, justgrandkids.
And I would, yeah, I can do thatbecause I can do this later.
(10:22):
She needs me right now.
I'll always I just could neversay no.
And um, and I did because Ididn't I didn't have boundaries,
I didn't have any healthyboundaries, and I thought I
would upset people because Ididn't want to hurt their
feelings.
I wanted them to think, oh, youcan always count on me.
I'm always here for you, youknow.
But I think we misunderstandwhat that means.
(10:43):
And it's not every single timeyou're are asked that you have
to drop what you're doing to doit.
And I think that it shows peoplethat I respect my own self and
my own time.
And if you don't, then they'renot gonna respect yours and
(11:03):
they're gonna continually takeadvantage of it at times.
A lot of times they may nottruly need you, it's just a
convenience for them in a worksetting.
I think that a lot of times, ifyou're a people pleaser, if you
are the one that always goes theextra mile because you want the
good feedback, that is a way ofnot being able to say no, I that
isn't healthy either.
(11:24):
Respect your value to a point towhere other people see it.
They may see you as an easy outrather than a valuable asset.
And it shows in your pay and howyou're treated.
SPEAKER_01 (11:37):
Mm-hmm.
It does very much so.
A couple of years ago, I wentthrough this period of I thought
I knew what led to this burnoutperiod, but I I didn't really.
I just knew that things, the wayI reacted to people and the way
I interacted with people wasn'tworking anymore.
And it wasn't until a counselorsaid, asked me, Are you a people
pleaser?
(11:57):
Just that one question, thelight bulb went off, and there
was just clarity.
And I realized, my gosh, this isa huge problem.
Yes, I am a people pleaser.
Was there a moment like that foryou when you realized that you
know things really weren'tworking?
And and you were able to kind ofname what the problem was?
SPEAKER_00 (12:15):
I was in a therapy session too, and just by the
questions that you know,sometimes you fill out
pre-questions and then they askyou some more.
And uh, I've done other onlinelittle tests and things.
And I mean, it's evident thatI'm a people pleaser.
I hate conflict, I don't want tobe around anybody that's upset
or angry or discon gobby.
(12:38):
I I just don't like being aroundthat energy.
So I want everything peaceful,and I want, and I feel like
because I'm I want to helppeople, that is truly what I
want to do.
That that it stems from that.
So therefore, if somebody needsme to do something, I want to
help them, so therefore, I'mgonna do it.
And I think that there's a fineline between helping somebody
(12:59):
and being a people pleaserbecause sometimes if you really
don't want to do something, it'sokay to say no.
Because their happiness is notever gonna come from me, it has
to come from them, and I havehad to learn that making them
happy is not my job, and it'spretty much impossible for me to
(13:20):
bring them what happiness isbecause it's situational.
Happiness is um it's asituational thing.
I think joy is something that'smore deep and spiritual related
that can come from only onesource, but now happiness can
come and go, and um, that's ourresponsibility.
(13:40):
And if I am worried so muchabout bringing somebody else
happiness rather than myself, itcan burn you out, completely
burn you out.
You feel underappreciated, soyou know that is another
negative thought.
Nothing I do is enough, it justreally brings out a lot of
things that get you to thatburnout phase that I don't ever
(14:00):
want to burn out because youknow, we are lights.
That's my thing is be the light,and we can be the light and have
boundaries.
SPEAKER_01 (14:09):
Amen to that.
100%.
So you work with women onuncovering limiting beliefs.
So, what are some of the morecommon limiting beliefs that you
see?
SPEAKER_00 (14:19):
Yeah, that's a part of my program of the overall
program, but yes, limitingbeliefs.
I think some of the biggestlimiting beliefs are I'm not
qualified, especially when we'retalking about starting your own
business, which is what I helppeople do.
So I'm not qualified enough, I'mnot smart enough.
And um, that's one.
SPEAKER_01 (14:38):
Everyone else is smarter than me.
SPEAKER_00 (14:40):
Always, you know, yeah, yeah.
I don't have what it takes.
The confidence in themselves toget on a podcast, to get their
face out there, because ifyou're gonna be in business,
people need to know who you are.
They need to know who who to,you know, for you to pop in
their mind when something thatyou have that they want.
So to get out there and to messup and be vulnerable.
(15:03):
There's so many people that say,I can't do that.
I'm an introvert.
A lot.
Um, a limiting belief is I can'tafford it.
A limiting belief would be Idon't know anybody, nobody, I
don't have support, you know, Idon't have anybody that would
believe in me or back me orwhatever.
SPEAKER_01 (15:22):
It's really easy to convince ourselves of these
things.
SPEAKER_00 (15:24):
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I believe that I must just nothave wanted it enough.
Or I'm a quitter, I'm aprocrastinator, and I'm a
quitter, so that's who I am.
So it'll probably never happen,even though you get excited at
first, it starts to creep in.
You think this is the time, thisis the one, and then over time
(15:46):
it just creeps back in thosedoubts.
And and I think too, part of itis limiting beliefs, but I also
think that the scripts that theenergy, the excitement in the
beginning that we are startingoff this new shiny object
opportunity is their excitementthat we're feeding off of.
(16:08):
Your recruiter, the one who'strying to get you on this team.
You know, they are pumped andthey're passionate about it and
they're excited about it.
And so we're thinking, I am too,you know.
But it's not coming from us.
It's just kind of borrowedexcitement and we can't last on
it.
So many beliefs that just youhear about all the time.
SPEAKER_01 (16:30):
It's interesting you you bring up that, you know,
we're not qualified.
And I remember I I remember thisstudy that kind of said that if
you have a job and it's got 10qualifications that they're
looking for, women are gonnafeel like they need to meet
every single one of thosecriteria before they can apply.
Whereas men, on average, lookfor at least two.
SPEAKER_00 (16:52):
Really?
SPEAKER_01 (16:52):
I hadn't heard that study.
So I just I I find that reallyinteresting.
How like men's like theirthreshold for applying for jobs
is much, much lower.
Whereas women are like, oh, Idon't have this one
qualification.
I can't do it.
I'm not the candidate thatthey're looking for.
So we just we put a lot morepressure on ourselves to be this
like perfect candidate when whenreally I mean, we can apply for
(17:17):
any job that's out there, andyou just have the have to have
the courage to do it.
SPEAKER_00 (17:21):
Yeah, but then you get afraid of like, well, what
if they ask me about this andI'm not qualified, and then I
won't have an answer.
All things, yeah, you know, allthe bad scenarios go through our
head, not the good ones.
SPEAKER_01 (17:31):
So you don't have an answer, right?
That's yeah, okay.
unknown (17:35):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (17:35):
You got you got to practice having an interview.
I mean, that's worst casescenario.
SPEAKER_00 (17:39):
Yeah, I did an interview to be um promoted at
this dental office one time, andthey asked me a question, and I
gave the answer, and they justsaid just told me, like, oh, I
really expected you to know moreabout this, and they pretty much
told me you didn't get it rightthere because they were just
(18:03):
telling me that that answerwasn't good enough that I didn't
understand it, and I didn'tstudy, you know, look into it
and understand it before cominginto that.
Yeah, I mean, just in theinterview, they'll cut you down.
You know, they will just cut youright in two.
It's like, and that's not whatyou want to hear at those
moments.
You're already very vulnerableand sitting there nervous and
(18:25):
all the things, and you'reanswering questions, and you're
thinking, okay, I I answeredthat pretty good.
And then yeah.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (18:33):
But these are all things that take practice,
right?
Mm-hmm.
So, how do you balance thecourage that it takes to change
your story with the fear ofletting other people down,
especially people who've beenbenefiting from you being such a
people pleaser?
How do you how do you get thecourage to make that change?
SPEAKER_00 (18:49):
Practice saying no.
And whenever I get there, uh Ithink over once once I've
realized that I'm once you'reaware, I think you have to be
aware that you really are apeople pleaser.
And you have to be aware of howit's limited you and how it's
held you back.
So I have I think you need toknow that first and foremost.
(19:12):
So whenever it does come up anda situation comes up that
normally you might have said,Yeah, you know, yeah, let's
let's put this aside and I'll dowhat you need me to do.
But whenever you're aware andthat happens, then you
immediately know and you'reaware, and you remember what
(19:33):
happens whenever you do putyourself second, third, fourth.
And then it gives you a littleempowers you to say, this is why
I'm doing better.
I'm already doing better withthese boundaries that I have.
And so I don't apologize for it.
I don't think we need to besorry.
(19:54):
You don't want to say, Oh, I'mso sorry, I can't do that today.
I just say, uh, I get to be on apodcast today, my schedule is
full.
Yeah, you know, and reallyempower yourself with what
you're doing.
Remind yourself of what you'redoing and why.
And it's it gets easier everysingle time to say no.
(20:17):
So the more you do it, I thinkthe better you'll get at it, the
less guilt you'll have everytime.
As long as you don't go into it,it's like you're letting
somebody down because you'renot.
You're not letting them down.
You're just not able to do thatat that time.
Yeah, and that's okay too.
How many times have everybodyelse thought told us no?
SPEAKER_01 (20:38):
You know?
And that's okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We don't hold it against them.
SPEAKER_00 (20:43):
And I think in the long run, people are gonna s
people may get upset.
They might get upset whenthey're used to always having
you available, yeah.
And they may get upset, butthat's okay too.
Because I want people in mycorner that are rooting for me
and understand where I'm goingand what I'm doing.
Sometimes if you can becomestronger, because that's what
(21:04):
you're gonna be, is a strongerand more confident, it may
offend others because theyaren't there yet.
And that's okay.
You are being a good model forthose people, whether they know
it or not, right now.
But if they get to that point intheir own life, they're gonna
say, I see what she did.
(21:27):
I see what she was doing, andshe did the right thing.
SPEAKER_01 (21:31):
You're always saying no to someone.
You're either saying no to theperson who's asking you to do
something, or you're saying noto yourself.
SPEAKER_00 (21:38):
Yes, you are.
SPEAKER_01 (21:39):
Yeah.
But I would rather, like in thepast, I I would rather be the
one suffering and be the oneunhappy than to make somebody
else unhappy.
And that's just that's a mindsetthat that needs to be changed.
SPEAKER_00 (21:50):
I yeah, go to a a certain event that I really just
didn't want to go to, but theyreally, you know, expected it.
And I've actually taken and it'sbeen hard a few times to back
out of something that I hadagreed to go or do, and it just
wasn't feeling right.
I just it wasn't there, and Ijust said, I'm not going.
SPEAKER_01 (22:11):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (22:12):
And I just and I'm sorry, you know, I I was, you
know, I have said I'm sorrybecause I know I had, you know,
made a commitment at one point,but it wasn't a commitment that
would hurt anybody or not hurt,you know.
It was just for me, it wasn'tright.
And and whenever you do stand upand say, No, you know what, I'm
not gonna go to this event orI'm not going to this conference
(22:34):
or whatever it may be, and onceyou say it and own it, I swear
it's like a brick off your back.
SPEAKER_01 (22:43):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (22:43):
When you know you did the right thing, you know,
you did it and you just knowthat it was not for you.
SPEAKER_01 (22:50):
Yeah, you have this huge sense of relief when you
when you finally have thecourage to say that I don't want
to do this.
SPEAKER_00 (22:56):
Yes, it's freeing.
It really is.
And so, like I said, it getseasier.
It it takes courage.
It does take courage a lot ofthe, you know, several times,
and sometimes it will again,depending on what it is.
But it's freeing, and peoplethat are really rooting for you
are not gonna be upset.
SPEAKER_01 (23:15):
I have a much easier time saying no to something if I
already have something elseplanned.
So if it's you know, if there'sa conflict in scheduling or
something, it's a lot easier tosay, no, I can't do this.
I get to be on this greatpodcast today.
SPEAKER_00 (23:27):
It's not a great excuse rather than I don't want
to.
SPEAKER_01 (23:31):
But sometimes that means that I feel forced to fill
up my time so that I don't needto do these things when in truth
I need to get to feel I need tofeel more comfortable saying,
no, I can't do this.
And I don't have to say it'sbecause I want to sit on the
couch and binge watch Netflixfor a little while, right?
That's right.
I don't have to fill up my time.
(23:52):
But do you have any advice foranybody who like feels that
guilt?
SPEAKER_00 (23:57):
Gosh, I have done it so many times.
I had something that came upjust recently, and it I it it is
hard.
Guilt tears me up insidesometimes.
And I do.
I feel like, oh my gosh,somebody wanted me to do this,
and I really didn't want to, andI've already got something that
day, and I can't it's like arelief when we have a legitimate
(24:17):
excuse.
And uh I just want to encourageyou and anybody listening that
if you don't want to go, that islegitimate.
SPEAKER_01 (24:28):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (24:29):
And that's okay.
And I think we just have toquit.
I've always worried what otherpeople thought.
That's all this is, is we'reworried somebody's gonna judge
us, worried that you know, we'regonna offend somebody, and to
break out of that mold, it isquite freeing in itself.
And to be able to just say, youknow, that's not my thing.
(24:49):
I'm gonna pass.
Be done with it.
I don't like doing that anymore.
That's just I've grown out ofthat.
Now I'm good.
SPEAKER_01 (24:57):
It's definitely something that you can grow out
of, but it often takes a reallylong time to even realize that
that you were stuck in that thatpattern.
And it's on it's not untilthings aren't working in your
life anymore that you reallyhave to start looking at that.
SPEAKER_00 (25:14):
Yeah.
That was part of my uh journeymyself.
I um that's how I have also kindof created, founded a signature
method that I used to uncover mylimiting beliefs.
It just happened one day when Isat down at this computer and
started journaling.
And I'd already done a lot ofwork, you know, on myself.
(25:38):
I hadn't been to therapy andthings.
Therapy was done, and and it waslike the whole lid came off and
I could see the sky, I could seeeverything for once.
Um so I that's what I have mcreated is the limiting belief
portion.
It's called re-root the script.
Because we don't want to roothave our identity rooted in
(26:01):
beliefs that aren't true.
And we want to uproot them andre-root them in truth.
And so it's just a simplemethod.
But once that happened and Icould make sense of it all, it
all just became clear on why Idid this, why do I always do
this?
Why does this always happen?
Why am I like the way I am?
(26:22):
You know, finding out you're apeople pleaser, uh finding out
this, then the awareness isthere and you can make sense of
it, logical sense of it, itbecomes easier.
And you may not, until you getto that point, it's gonna be
hard.
And it may not be so easy torecognize that you are doing it
(26:45):
again.
Uh-huh.
And the guilt's there again.
And now I still get guiltysometimes.
Don't get me wrong.
Because, you know, I just Ithat's how I I really want
people to be happy.
But I have to remind myself toothat I don't make them happy.
And if it's something that Ireally feel obligated that I
should do, then I do it.
(27:07):
You know, it's just easy.
Do you really want to?
Do you not?
And just use your best judgment.
And if it makes sense to you ina logical way, and if it if it
doesn't help you move forward towhere you're wanting to go, if
it's detrimental, definitely sayno.
And if it's just something thatit might take a few hours, uh,
(27:31):
you know, but it's not gonnahurt anything, and you want to,
you know, be able to be therefor somebody, do it.
Because I think we are supposedto make a difference.
Just not to our detriment.
SPEAKER_01 (27:44):
So what can we do once we identify some of these
limiting beliefs?
What's the next step torewriting them?
SPEAKER_00 (27:50):
Uh realize and really see our limiting beliefs
because once we see them in ourpast and see how we've still uh
live that way and believe thatthat way, it really clicks.
But what we have to do then isto look at each of these beliefs
and then root them in sometruths.
(28:12):
Let's say I'm always last, youknow, I'm always, you know,
last.
I never can seem to getmomentum, I'm not qualified, all
the things that hold us back,like we talked about.
And then I want we need to goand find the contradictions
there in our lives.
(28:33):
Because we're gonna find where,what about right here?
Look what you did there.
You got first place.
Look right here, what you didhere.
You were the top uh promoter forthis whatever.
Look here how you helped thisperson overcome this issue.
There are so there is so muchevidence in our lives that
(28:57):
contradict what you've beentelling yourself, you just don't
realize it.
And so we're gonna base a newbelief on truth because beliefs
aren't necessarily truth.
Some of them are, some of themaren't.
And like I'm not smart, I can'tdo that.
Well, look what you got on thescored on that thing right
(29:17):
there, you know, and we have tofind it because we don't, in the
whole scheme of things, we can'tsit we have a hard time pointing
out our assets that we have, ourskills, our assets, our
accomplishments.
We only look at our failures,and so we have to focus on them.
And then once we can say this isnot me, I'm not a quitter, then
(29:38):
that new belief is you know, Ikeep going because it's based on
truth, because this is theproof.
You have the proof, so you cansquash that belief.
SPEAKER_01 (29:50):
Right.
So you're looking for evidencethat it's not true.
Yeah.
And and that this is justsomething you're telling
yourself.
SPEAKER_00 (29:57):
Mm-hmm.
Yep.
And it's something that you'veTold yourself from way back
when, you know, maybe you didrun last at one time or didn't
get invited to a dance orsomething in your past, and it
just crushed you because youweren't chosen and you, you
know, nobody wanted to chooseyou and you're alone and unloved
(30:20):
and unneeded, you know, allthose things that people go
through.
And in life, now you can say,Your husband chose you, your
wife chose you, God chose you.
This friend chose you.
This boss chose you.
You're not unworthy to bechosen.
(30:42):
And I think that we have topoint it out to people that
there is contradictory evidenceof what you're thinking, and you
need to just squash that thoughtand then look at the truth and
then form your beliefs on that.
I am chosen because I'm worthyof being chosen.
SPEAKER_01 (31:01):
Yeah, we always seem to think the worst things about
ourselves.
It's hard to convince ourselvesthat we're that we're good
sometimes.
SPEAKER_00 (31:09):
Yep.
Yep.
And I think women have itharder.
I think a lot of men do too, butI think women take it, we we
really make it our identity.
And that's where it's just youcan't escape it.
Yeah.
And we like to identify with ourproblems and our shortcomings,
our diagnoses.
(31:30):
We just always identify with allof these things.
And if that's all you'reidentifying with, that's all
you're gonna be.
unknown (31:36):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (31:37):
You've got to speak truth, you know, and the more
you speak truth and what you aregood at, that is what's gonna
flourish, and that's what'sgonna keep the dominoes going in
the right direction.
SPEAKER_01 (31:49):
The negativity is just gonna keep us stuck.
SPEAKER_00 (31:51):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (31:52):
So perfectionism.
Perfectionism often hides behindhigh standards or you know,
being responsible.
So, how do you help women movefrom perfectionism and
performance into a life thatfeels more authentic?
SPEAKER_00 (32:04):
I think perfectionism, it depends.
If you are a true perfectionistis different than somebody who
seems to be one, it's but it'sjust a stalling tactic.
I think sometimes we can usethat and it's based out of fear
and inadequacies and stuff thatyou feel like it's if I don't
(32:25):
show up perfect, then I don'tI'm not qualified.
I think some of I think there'sa true difference.
Now there's some people that area perfectionist based on their
belief that uh they've alwaysbeen told they have to be
perfect.
They've always felt like theyhave to make all A's, be the
best person on the team.
And if they're not, then they'renot good enough.
(32:47):
Perfect made them the best orlovable or worthy.
So I think it there's twodifferent aspects of it, but for
the most part, I would want themto tell me all the times that
they've been perfect.
List me everything that you'vedone that has been perfect, and
there's not going to be verymany answers.
SPEAKER_01 (33:10):
I was gonna say, I don't know if I can come up with
too many because because I couldhave always been more perfect.
SPEAKER_00 (33:16):
But what's more perfect?
Yeah, there's not.
Perfect is perfect, and nobody'sperfect.
So, and I also, and if you can'ttell me anything, and then there
may not be anything to tellbecause you never tried, because
you never allowed yourself tomess up.
And I think that that isdetrimental that we never even
try because we can't face notbeing perfect.
(33:38):
I think that's a big burden forpeople to grasp.
That's a heavy, heavy burden.
I think that would take a lot ofuncovering.
We're gonna mess up ineverything we do.
When we start, we're alwaysgonna be a beginner at something
if we're starting something.
When we get to the next phase,we're at the beginning of the
next phase.
And that I think too, when youare living out of perfectionism,
(33:59):
you are nearly incapable ofgrowing because growing is going
through obstacles and mess upsand failures and coming out on
the other side.
Because then you've grown somuch more and you've got so much
more uh potential andopportunities with that.
(34:20):
That's our story.
That's how we how we even get astory.
And if you are just I can't doit because I'm I have to be
perfect, um keeps you from doingnothing.
Pretty much nothing.
SPEAKER_01 (34:34):
I'm a recovering perfectionist, and one of the
things that I do is I aim tofail four times a month.
That is my that is my goal.
And although I don't like to saythat I fail, it allows me to try
so many new things and not beafraid because I am allowed to
fail up to four times thatmonth.
(34:54):
How hard is that for you to dothough?
Oh, it's it's tough.
But I heard it on a podcast onetime.
Just give yourself you should betrying to fail at least four
times a month.
And I don't like failing, but Iknow I'm allowed to fail four
times.
And it just keeps me out of thatperfectionism and it keeps me
being able to try new things andput myself out there a little
bit more.
(35:15):
And if I fail, I go, okay, well,that's one.
And then I try again the nextone.
Okay, well, that's that's two.
But with the more times I allowmyself to fail, the more
successes I am, I am alsoseeing, and that is huge.
So it's been a way for me to letgo of some of that
perfectionism.
SPEAKER_00 (35:33):
That's good.
I think that the word fail,failure is uh, I don't think we
ever will fail until we quit.
SPEAKER_01 (35:42):
Yeah, for sure.
SPEAKER_00 (35:43):
Truly not ever fail.
Because if you keep going, youhaven't failed.
Failure, if something didn'twork, and we want to call it
failure, it's feedback.
It's information that we say,okay, that didn't work that way.
What let's see, let's try this.
It's only feedback thatsomething didn't work the way it
was supposed to, and we justkeep going.
(36:05):
I mean, we wouldn't haveelectricity, we wouldn't have
anything if people gave up ontheir first time it didn't work.
And I like to look at it asfeedback, it's just something we
use and take the take thatinformation and now do this.
And then we do this.
And the more you do it, you areperfecting your whatever it is,
(36:29):
but it probably will never beperfect for everyone.
And when we look at it, we takeit personal.
We're the failure, not what thiswas supposed to do, we are.
So we take it on as being afailure rather than this didn't
work.
This didn't.
I worked, I worked hard, and Iwas putting all the hours in and
(36:51):
putting all my blood, sweat, andtears in it.
I worked, but that didn't work.
But I'm not a failure.
That didn't work, and so I haveto kind of remind people and
remind myself that every time Iquit throughout everything I
did, I would start and a yearlater quit and go again.
(37:14):
I just kept saying lazy,quitter, procrastinator,
unmotivated.
That's I would tell my failure.
Those were all the things that Isaid, and it's not true.
No, they're not true.
There's so much more behindthat.
And if I really looked, then itwas I wasn't passionate.
(37:35):
It wasn't something in me thatwas just wanting to do, it
didn't align with what I wantedto do in the world and my
purpose, and now I know that.
And then I made all these otherexcuses up because I didn't know
what was going on.
SPEAKER_01 (37:49):
But you learned everything at all of those jobs,
right?
You learned valuable skills thatyou it's part of your story,
it's brought you to where youare now.
SPEAKER_00 (37:57):
It's my story, and I learned a lot, and now I can use
that story and all that I wentthrough to hopefully thwart
people from going as long as Idid through it.
You know, don't but even ifyou're older than me, we can
still, you know, stop it in itstracks.
SPEAKER_01 (38:15):
Yeah, for sure.
There's never a bad time tostart.
So you've built the make yourmark movement, and this is
helping women use their voicesand their values.
So tell me a bit about that.
SPEAKER_00 (38:26):
Yes, that is how I am helping women who have been
tried direct sales, been in itfor a while, or still in it, and
it's still not uh there's stilljust that little inkling if
something's not it's missingthat there there's more, there's
more for me, and they just knowit.
They just don't know what it is.
So I help them to transition oradd on to what they're already
(38:51):
doing, is their own business tohelp them create and build their
own business aligned with whatlights them up, their passion,
so they can fulfill theirpurpose, that feeling that's not
being met, and make the impactthat they were made to make.
So that is how they will maketheir mark.
(39:13):
And then if needed, we'll pullin my signature method of the
limiting beliefs at thebeginning of that.
If we have a lot of roadblocks,we gotta undo all that first.
So the make your mark move waswas my creation in my mind at
first, and then the bigawakening came, and so I it's
like I have my signature methodof dealing with that kind of
(39:35):
inside it.
So, and that's just all recent.
I mean, I like I said, it wasjust birth chairs sitting at my
computer just you know a fewmonths ago.
SPEAKER_01 (39:44):
I love that you had the courage to to do that and to
recognize that you had a reallyvaluable message to put out
there.
SPEAKER_00 (39:50):
So congratulations.
I didn't have the couragebefore, and once I did and
recognized it and realized I dohave some value here and I've
got a story, and now that's whatgets me up in the morning.
I mean, I want to share it onthese podcasts, I want to be
vulnerable because that's wherethe strength is, not the
(40:10):
weakness.
And I've learned all thesethings and they're all just I
I've known them, but I didn'tknow them and believe them.
SPEAKER_01 (40:19):
So I love that.
Kelly, where can people findyou?
SPEAKER_00 (40:22):
I am on Facebook a lot.
That Instagram and Facebook ismy main places that I try to uh
reach people.
You've got the links thathopefully will be here.
I do.
SPEAKER_01 (40:31):
I will put them all in the show notes, including
you've got a freebie, which islike this unscripted reflective
roadmap to reclaim your voice,your vision, and your worth.
SPEAKER_00 (40:39):
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I've got a good guide for youfree, that link, and um I think
I've got I might have my littlewebsite link too for another
freebie if they want.
So I'll give you we'll give themthat too.
Get them two freebies.
SPEAKER_01 (40:53):
Put that all in the show notes.
People can uh will be able tofind you.
Kelly, thank you so much forbeing here and for sharing your
wisdom with us.
I know my listeners are walkingaway today with a lot of clarity
and probably some courage too tostart rewriting some of those
old beliefs.
It's been a real gift to haveyou here, and I thank you so
much for sharing your story withus.
SPEAKER_00 (41:13):
It's been a gift for me too.
I just I loved it.
I appreciate your time to giveme this opportunity.
And I hope that everybody outthere that is listening will
start not just hoping, but willat one day become certain that
they have value and they have astory.
SPEAKER_01 (41:32):
And thank you so much for everyone for spending
time with us today.
If this episode resonated withyou, feel free to share with a
friend or anyone who could use alittle encouragement.
The more that we share theseconversations and have them
spread, the more people that wecan reach together.
And if you'd like to stayconnected, make sure that you
follow me.
I'm most active on Facebook atthe Codependent Doctor and
Instagram at DRAngela Downey.
(41:52):
I'd love to hear your thoughts,so don't be shy about leaving a
comment or reaching out.
I wish you all a great week asyou learn to foster a better
relationship with the mostimportant person in your life,
yourself.
I'm going to talk to you againin two weeks for another episode
of the Codependent Doctor.
Take care for now.
You've got this.
Thanks for spending time with metoday.
I hope something in this episoderesonated with you.
(42:15):
If it did, hit follow,subscribe, or share it with
someone who needs to hear ittoday.
The Codependent Doctor is notmedical advice and doesn't
replace speaking to yourhealthcare provider.
If you're in a crisis, please goto the nearest ER or call 911 or
reach out to your local mentalhealth helpline.
I'll be back here next week withmore support, stories, and
strategies because we're healingtogether.
Today we're going to be diving into something that
(00:01):
hits close to home for many ofus.
These scripts that we keepfollowing without even realizing
it.
You know those unspoken rulesand beliefs from childhood that
quietly shape how we show up inrelationships, in our careers,
and even how we see ourselves?
In this conversation with KellyParker, we're going to be
talking about how to spot thoseold patterns, what it takes to
rewrite the story, and how tostart building a life that
(00:23):
actually feels like you.
So if you've ever wondered whyyou keep falling into the same
rules or beliefs that don'treally fit anymore, this episode
is for you.
Welcome to the CodependentDoctor, a podcast where we
unpack the messy, beautifuljourney of healing from
codependency.
If you're burned out from peoplepleasing, stuck in unhealthy
patterns, or just tired ofputting yourself last, you're in
(00:44):
the right place.
I'm Dr.
Angela Downey, a family doctorand fellow codependent, and I'm
here to help you reconnect toyour authentic self.
One honest conversation at atime.
Here we go.
Hello to all my wonderfulpodcast listeners, and welcome
to the Codependent Doctor.
I'm your host, Dr.
Angela Downey, a family doctorand fellow codependent, who's
(01:04):
here to help us untangle ourpatterns, heal our hearts, and
reclaim our peace.
For today's episode, we have aguest with us.
Kelly Parker is a speaker,coach, and founder of the Make
Your Mark movement.
After years in direct sales,Kelly realized that she was
following a script that nolonger fit and began the brave
work of rewriting her story.
Today she helps women rediscoverwho they are beyond the roles
(01:26):
that they've been given and stepinto purpose-led businesses that
reflect their voices and values.
Through mindset shifts, personalstorytelling, and practical
clarity, Kelly empowers women tostop performing and start
building a life that finallyfeels like them.
I'm so excited to have her heretoday on the show with us.
What I love about her work isthat it's not just about
mindset.
(01:47):
It's about helping us step outof performance mode and into the
lives that truly feel alignedwith who we are.
I know this is going to give yousome light bulb moments and
practical tools to startshifting your own story.
So let's all give Kelly a warmwelcome to the show.
Welcome, Kelly.
I'm so glad that you're able tojoin us today.
How are you?
I'm great.
Great.
One of the traditions on my showis that we discuss what we're
(02:09):
grateful for because when westop and think about what we're
grateful for, it helps ourbrains focus on what's working
instead of what's missing.
So I'd like to ask you, is thereanything that you're especially
grateful for today?
SPEAKER_00 (02:20):
Today, specifically, I am grateful for this
opportunity because for so longI didn't think I had a story
that was worth sharing, that itwasn't extravagant enough to
make a difference.
And I'm just grateful that Ihave found my story and that I
do believe that it has value andthat I have this opportunity to
(02:43):
share it.
SPEAKER_01 (02:45):
I love that.
It probably took a long time foryou to recognize that though.
SPEAKER_00 (02:49):
It took a long actually, I just didn't know it.
But once it happened, ithappened quickly.
But it's been a long roadcoming.
SPEAKER_01 (02:58):
Yeah, and we're definitely going to be getting
into that journey.
For me, I'm I'm grateful for mypartner.
She is like the best part of myday, and I'm so grateful to have
her love and her support and herwords of wisdom with me every
day.
She puts up with a lot becauseI'm like obsessed about my
podcast.
So I do appreciate the supportand all the time she lets me
(03:19):
have in doing my little passionprojects.
Yay!
SPEAKER_00 (03:22):
That's right.
Yay.
SPEAKER_01 (03:23):
So maybe we can start by having you introduce
yourself and tell us about yourjourney to becoming a coach and
founder of the Make Your Markmovement.
SPEAKER_00 (03:32):
Yes.
Went to college like we weresupposed to, got a degree in
education, homeschooled for 11years, dabbled in different
career industry areas throughoutthe years that I would get bored
with that one and burn out anddo another one.
Another shiny object came along,and oh, that one's the one for
me that I'm gonna make it in andbe a success.
(03:55):
Twenty-five years of that, andjust going in excited and
fizzling out and quitting andfailing, and it just was a
pattern.
So I always had that littlespark of entrepreneurship, but I
really didn't know that's whatit was.
I just knew I wanted to be makea difference and I wanted to be
successful and I wanted to makemoney at it, and I never could
(04:15):
figure out why I couldn't makeit work.
I couldn't be successful, and soI wanted to start my own
business and quit at that toolast year.
So that's kind of my storyleading up to where I am today.
First, I made a decision.
I'm going to stick this out, I'mgoing to get this business off
(04:36):
the ground.
I know what I want to do.
I've always wanted to teach andtrain and help people and show
them this or that, guide them.
But it wasn't until I uncoveredsome of my limiting beliefs to
find out what was holding meback, why it held me back.
And now it has uh changedeverything.
(05:00):
It's just made all thedifference that for why I'm even
here today.
I wouldn't wouldn't have donethis before.
SPEAKER_01 (05:06):
Kelly, you talk about breaking the script.
And for those who of us who arelistening who feel like they've
been living their life onautopilot, following these roles
that are set for us and theseexpectations that are handed
down to us, how do you describewhat it means to notice that
you're living from a script inthe first place?
SPEAKER_00 (05:24):
I didn't at first.
I didn't realize I was.
I think uh women in general havea script written for them
overall, just that even if we dowork and you know, two working
household, it's still like it'sin our script to come home and
cook and clean and get the kidsready for bed.
You know, it's just uh ingrainedscript that we are living in,
(05:47):
still are a lot of ways.
So we've got those scripts, thethe cultural scripts that we've
had, and we've also got scriptsthat that were developed in
childhood that just things thatwere said, things that have
happened that we have trainedour brain to think and believe.
So those scripts.
And then also in the directmarketing world where I was for
(06:12):
so long in and out of, they giveyou scripts to use.
You know, they give you the copyand paste, you know.
If you see uh people in the samecompany, it's exact thing,
everybody says the exact samething.
So we're scripted in so manyways.
And it's just uh uh it's not us,it's not authentically us, who
(06:34):
we really are, who we are on theinside and what lights us up and
and speaking authentically.
So we're not, it's like a youknow, everybody says fake it
till you make it.
Well, yeah, everybody's fakingit, but I they're not making it,
and I don't believe that any,you know.
I may have thought, okay, I'lljust fake it till I believe it,
(06:55):
but a belief is not necessarilythe truth, and that's what I've
learned that all these beliefsthat I've been living aren't
founded on truth, they're justfounded on somebody else's
belief or perception.
SPEAKER_01 (07:11):
One of the biggest scripts I think that I follow is
if I bump into someone, they askme how I'm doing.
I always say I'm doing good.
How are you?
Even though I'm not even thoughI'm not doing good, but I feel
like I'm almost I have to saythat because I don't want to be
a bother.
I don't want to, you know,burden that other person with
with my problems.
So I mean that's probably one ofthe most obvious scripts for me.
(07:31):
In addition to the hundred otherscripts that I learned as a
child.
unknown (07:35):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (07:35):
We are conditioned to be small, you know, to not
cause trouble, to be good andjust to lay low and just be.
And it's not necessarily abother to people, maybe if you
say, Well, you know, today's notbeen the best, but that's okay.
I I'm pushing through it andtomorrow will be better.
Just to be honest.
(07:56):
And then there's the time peoplewill like and then spill their,
you know, tell you their wholestory.
And, you know, sometimes we'relike, oh my gosh, I was in the
store forever.
I ran into so-and-so, and shetold me her life story, bless
her heart, you know, we do that.
But maybe she didn't haveanybody else to tell.
You know, I mean, maybe you'rethe only person that listened to
(08:16):
them today.
And I don't know.
I think we just are critical ofanything we do.
True.
You know, just like we'recritical for saying I'm great,
even though I'm not.
I'm critical if I say I'm notgreat because they don't want to
hear it, they don't care.
We are so critical ofeverything.
And just to be free to just saywhat you want.
(08:36):
Yeah.
I think it's just wish we weremore like that, you know.
Yeah.
And not so worried.
Because that was me.
Comparison and judgment andworry was holding me back big.
SPEAKER_01 (08:48):
Yeah, you're not worth anybody else's time to
listen to what's going on inyour life.
Yep.
Many of my listeners, we grew upin families where people
pleasing and self-sacrifice wasalmost expected.
And this is something we seewith women a lot, but we see
with men too.
So can you share how childhoodbeliefs and early patterns
quietly shape how we show up inour lives and our businesses
(09:11):
later on?
SPEAKER_00 (09:12):
Yeah, that's how I kind of uncovered and dug down
deep to see my limiting beliefs.
But I know I was a peoplepleaser.
I've always been a peoplepleaser.
I played small, stayed quiet, Ididn't speak out, I didn't ask
for help, but I wanted tobelong.
I wanted to feel like I belongedto whatever that particular day
(09:34):
was, you know, whether it bethis little crowd of people or
this cheerleader or the popularcrowd, you know, just to be
belong, wanted and needed.
And so I I didn't want to eversay no.
I wanted to make sure people, ifsomebody wanted me to do
something, even if I reallydidn't want to, I still said
yes, even as a child.
And I've learned as an adult,even up through this past year,
(09:59):
uh, things I wanted to do, Iwould l allow other things to
take precedence.
Even if I said, okay, I'm gonnado this today for my business,
and then I might get a phonecall, or you know, are you able
to watch the kids today for acouple hours?
Or my daughter, you know, justgrandkids.
And I would, yeah, I can do thatbecause I can do this later.
(10:22):
She needs me right now.
I'll always I just could neversay no.
And um, and I did because Ididn't I didn't have boundaries,
I didn't have any healthyboundaries, and I thought I
would upset people because Ididn't want to hurt their
feelings.
I wanted them to think, oh, youcan always count on me.
I'm always here for you, youknow.
But I think we misunderstandwhat that means.
(10:43):
And it's not every single timeyou're are asked that you have
to drop what you're doing to doit.
And I think that it shows peoplethat I respect my own self and
my own time.
And if you don't, then they'renot gonna respect yours and
(11:03):
they're gonna continually takeadvantage of it at times.
A lot of times they may nottruly need you, it's just a
convenience for them in a worksetting.
I think that a lot of times, ifyou're a people pleaser, if you
are the one that always goes theextra mile because you want the
good feedback, that is a way ofnot being able to say no, I that
isn't healthy either.
(11:24):
Respect your value to a point towhere other people see it.
They may see you as an easy outrather than a valuable asset.
And it shows in your pay and howyou're treated.
SPEAKER_01 (11:37):
Mm-hmm.
It does very much so.
A couple of years ago, I wentthrough this period of I thought
I knew what led to this burnoutperiod, but I I didn't really.
I just knew that things, the wayI reacted to people and the way
I interacted with people wasn'tworking anymore.
And it wasn't until a counselorsaid, asked me, Are you a people
pleaser?
(11:57):
Just that one question, thelight bulb went off, and there
was just clarity.
And I realized, my gosh, this isa huge problem.
Yes, I am a people pleaser.
Was there a moment like that foryou when you realized that you
know things really weren'tworking?
And and you were able to kind ofname what the problem was?
SPEAKER_00 (12:15):
I was in a therapy session too, and just by the
questions that you know,sometimes you fill out
pre-questions and then they askyou some more.
And uh, I've done other onlinelittle tests and things.
And I mean, it's evident thatI'm a people pleaser.
I hate conflict, I don't want tobe around anybody that's upset
or angry or discon gobby.
(12:38):
I I just don't like being aroundthat energy.
So I want everything peaceful,and I want, and I feel like
because I'm I want to helppeople, that is truly what I
want to do.
That that it stems from that.
So therefore, if somebody needsme to do something, I want to
help them, so therefore, I'mgonna do it.
And I think that there's a fineline between helping somebody
(12:59):
and being a people pleaserbecause sometimes if you really
don't want to do something, it'sokay to say no.
Because their happiness is notever gonna come from me, it has
to come from them, and I havehad to learn that making them
happy is not my job, and it'spretty much impossible for me to
(13:20):
bring them what happiness isbecause it's situational.
Happiness is um it's asituational thing.
I think joy is something that'smore deep and spiritual related
that can come from only onesource, but now happiness can
come and go, and um, that's ourresponsibility.
(13:40):
And if I am worried so muchabout bringing somebody else
happiness rather than myself, itcan burn you out, completely
burn you out.
You feel underappreciated, soyou know that is another
negative thought.
Nothing I do is enough, it justreally brings out a lot of
things that get you to thatburnout phase that I don't ever
(14:00):
want to burn out because youknow, we are lights.
That's my thing is be the light,and we can be the light and have
boundaries.
SPEAKER_01 (14:09):
Amen to that.
100%.
So you work with women onuncovering limiting beliefs.
So, what are some of the morecommon limiting beliefs that you
see?
SPEAKER_00 (14:19):
Yeah, that's a part of my program of the overall
program, but yes, limitingbeliefs.
I think some of the biggestlimiting beliefs are I'm not
qualified, especially when we'retalking about starting your own
business, which is what I helppeople do.
So I'm not qualified enough, I'mnot smart enough.
And um, that's one.
SPEAKER_01 (14:38):
Everyone else is smarter than me.
SPEAKER_00 (14:40):
Always, you know, yeah, yeah.
I don't have what it takes.
The confidence in themselves toget on a podcast, to get their
face out there, because ifyou're gonna be in business,
people need to know who you are.
They need to know who who to,you know, for you to pop in
their mind when something thatyou have that they want.
So to get out there and to messup and be vulnerable.
(15:03):
There's so many people that say,I can't do that.
I'm an introvert.
A lot.
Um, a limiting belief is I can'tafford it.
A limiting belief would be Idon't know anybody, nobody, I
don't have support, you know, Idon't have anybody that would
believe in me or back me orwhatever.
SPEAKER_01 (15:22):
It's really easy to convince ourselves of these
things.
SPEAKER_00 (15:24):
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I believe that I must just nothave wanted it enough.
Or I'm a quitter, I'm aprocrastinator, and I'm a
quitter, so that's who I am.
So it'll probably never happen,even though you get excited at
first, it starts to creep in.
You think this is the time, thisis the one, and then over time
(15:46):
it just creeps back in thosedoubts.
And and I think too, part of itis limiting beliefs, but I also
think that the scripts that theenergy, the excitement in the
beginning that we are startingoff this new shiny object
opportunity is their excitementthat we're feeding off of.
(16:08):
Your recruiter, the one who'strying to get you on this team.
You know, they are pumped andthey're passionate about it and
they're excited about it.
And so we're thinking, I am too,you know.
But it's not coming from us.
It's just kind of borrowedexcitement and we can't last on
it.
So many beliefs that just youhear about all the time.
SPEAKER_01 (16:30):
It's interesting you you bring up that, you know,
we're not qualified.
And I remember I I remember thisstudy that kind of said that if
you have a job and it's got 10qualifications that they're
looking for, women are gonnafeel like they need to meet
every single one of thosecriteria before they can apply.
Whereas men, on average, lookfor at least two.
SPEAKER_00 (16:52):
Really?
SPEAKER_01 (16:52):
I hadn't heard that study.
So I just I I find that reallyinteresting.
How like men's like theirthreshold for applying for jobs
is much, much lower.
Whereas women are like, oh, Idon't have this one
qualification.
I can't do it.
I'm not the candidate thatthey're looking for.
So we just we put a lot morepressure on ourselves to be this
like perfect candidate when whenreally I mean, we can apply for
(17:17):
any job that's out there, andyou just have the have to have
the courage to do it.
SPEAKER_00 (17:21):
Yeah, but then you get afraid of like, well, what
if they ask me about this andI'm not qualified, and then I
won't have an answer.
All things, yeah, you know, allthe bad scenarios go through our
head, not the good ones.
SPEAKER_01 (17:31):
So you don't have an answer, right?
That's yeah, okay.
unknown (17:35):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (17:35):
You got you got to practice having an interview.
I mean, that's worst casescenario.
SPEAKER_00 (17:39):
Yeah, I did an interview to be um promoted at
this dental office one time, andthey asked me a question, and I
gave the answer, and they justsaid just told me, like, oh, I
really expected you to know moreabout this, and they pretty much
told me you didn't get it rightthere because they were just
(18:03):
telling me that that answerwasn't good enough that I didn't
understand it, and I didn'tstudy, you know, look into it
and understand it before cominginto that.
Yeah, I mean, just in theinterview, they'll cut you down.
You know, they will just cut youright in two.
It's like, and that's not whatyou want to hear at those
moments.
You're already very vulnerableand sitting there nervous and
(18:25):
all the things, and you'reanswering questions, and you're
thinking, okay, I I answeredthat pretty good.
And then yeah.
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (18:33):
But these are all things that take practice,
right?
Mm-hmm.
So, how do you balance thecourage that it takes to change
your story with the fear ofletting other people down,
especially people who've beenbenefiting from you being such a
people pleaser?
How do you how do you get thecourage to make that change?
SPEAKER_00 (18:49):
Practice saying no.
And whenever I get there, uh Ithink over once once I've
realized that I'm once you'reaware, I think you have to be
aware that you really are apeople pleaser.
And you have to be aware of howit's limited you and how it's
held you back.
So I have I think you need toknow that first and foremost.
(19:12):
So whenever it does come up anda situation comes up that
normally you might have said,Yeah, you know, yeah, let's
let's put this aside and I'll dowhat you need me to do.
But whenever you're aware andthat happens, then you
immediately know and you'reaware, and you remember what
(19:33):
happens whenever you do putyourself second, third, fourth.
And then it gives you a littleempowers you to say, this is why
I'm doing better.
I'm already doing better withthese boundaries that I have.
And so I don't apologize for it.
I don't think we need to besorry.
(19:54):
You don't want to say, Oh, I'mso sorry, I can't do that today.
I just say, uh, I get to be on apodcast today, my schedule is
full.
Yeah, you know, and reallyempower yourself with what
you're doing.
Remind yourself of what you'redoing and why.
And it's it gets easier everysingle time to say no.
(20:17):
So the more you do it, I thinkthe better you'll get at it, the
less guilt you'll have everytime.
As long as you don't go into it,it's like you're letting
somebody down because you'renot.
You're not letting them down.
You're just not able to do thatat that time.
Yeah, and that's okay too.
How many times have everybodyelse thought told us no?
SPEAKER_01 (20:38):
You know?
And that's okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We don't hold it against them.
SPEAKER_00 (20:43):
And I think in the long run, people are gonna s
people may get upset.
They might get upset whenthey're used to always having
you available, yeah.
And they may get upset, butthat's okay too.
Because I want people in mycorner that are rooting for me
and understand where I'm goingand what I'm doing.
Sometimes if you can becomestronger, because that's what
(21:04):
you're gonna be, is a strongerand more confident, it may
offend others because theyaren't there yet.
And that's okay.
You are being a good model forthose people, whether they know
it or not, right now.
But if they get to that point intheir own life, they're gonna
say, I see what she did.
(21:27):
I see what she was doing, andshe did the right thing.
SPEAKER_01 (21:31):
You're always saying no to someone.
You're either saying no to theperson who's asking you to do
something, or you're saying noto yourself.
SPEAKER_00 (21:38):
Yes, you are.
SPEAKER_01 (21:39):
Yeah.
But I would rather, like in thepast, I I would rather be the
one suffering and be the oneunhappy than to make somebody
else unhappy.
And that's just that's a mindsetthat that needs to be changed.
SPEAKER_00 (21:50):
I yeah, go to a a certain event that I really just
didn't want to go to, but theyreally, you know, expected it.
And I've actually taken and it'sbeen hard a few times to back
out of something that I hadagreed to go or do, and it just
wasn't feeling right.
I just it wasn't there, and Ijust said, I'm not going.
SPEAKER_01 (22:11):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (22:12):
And I just and I'm sorry, you know, I I was, you
know, I have said I'm sorrybecause I know I had, you know,
made a commitment at one point,but it wasn't a commitment that
would hurt anybody or not hurt,you know.
It was just for me, it wasn'tright.
And and whenever you do stand upand say, No, you know what, I'm
not gonna go to this event orI'm not going to this conference
(22:34):
or whatever it may be, and onceyou say it and own it, I swear
it's like a brick off your back.
SPEAKER_01 (22:43):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (22:43):
When you know you did the right thing, you know,
you did it and you just knowthat it was not for you.
SPEAKER_01 (22:50):
Yeah, you have this huge sense of relief when you
when you finally have thecourage to say that I don't want
to do this.
SPEAKER_00 (22:56):
Yes, it's freeing.
It really is.
And so, like I said, it getseasier.
It it takes courage.
It does take courage a lot ofthe, you know, several times,
and sometimes it will again,depending on what it is.
But it's freeing, and peoplethat are really rooting for you
are not gonna be upset.
SPEAKER_01 (23:15):
I have a much easier time saying no to something if I
already have something elseplanned.
So if it's you know, if there'sa conflict in scheduling or
something, it's a lot easier tosay, no, I can't do this.
I get to be on this greatpodcast today.
SPEAKER_00 (23:27):
It's not a great excuse rather than I don't want
to.
SPEAKER_01 (23:31):
But sometimes that means that I feel forced to fill
up my time so that I don't needto do these things when in truth
I need to get to feel I need tofeel more comfortable saying,
no, I can't do this.
And I don't have to say it'sbecause I want to sit on the
couch and binge watch Netflixfor a little while, right?
That's right.
I don't have to fill up my time.
(23:52):
But do you have any advice foranybody who like feels that
guilt?
SPEAKER_00 (23:57):
Gosh, I have done it so many times.
I had something that came upjust recently, and it I it it is
hard.
Guilt tears me up insidesometimes.
And I do.
I feel like, oh my gosh,somebody wanted me to do this,
and I really didn't want to, andI've already got something that
day, and I can't it's like arelief when we have a legitimate
(24:17):
excuse.
And uh I just want to encourageyou and anybody listening that
if you don't want to go, that islegitimate.
SPEAKER_01 (24:28):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (24:29):
And that's okay.
And I think we just have toquit.
I've always worried what otherpeople thought.
That's all this is, is we'reworried somebody's gonna judge
us, worried that you know, we'regonna offend somebody, and to
break out of that mold, it isquite freeing in itself.
And to be able to just say, youknow, that's not my thing.
(24:49):
I'm gonna pass.
Be done with it.
I don't like doing that anymore.
That's just I've grown out ofthat.
Now I'm good.
SPEAKER_01 (24:57):
It's definitely something that you can grow out
of, but it often takes a reallylong time to even realize that
that you were stuck in that thatpattern.
And it's on it's not untilthings aren't working in your
life anymore that you reallyhave to start looking at that.
SPEAKER_00 (25:14):
Yeah.
That was part of my uh journeymyself.
I um that's how I have also kindof created, founded a signature
method that I used to uncover mylimiting beliefs.
It just happened one day when Isat down at this computer and
started journaling.
And I'd already done a lot ofwork, you know, on myself.
(25:38):
I hadn't been to therapy andthings.
Therapy was done, and and it waslike the whole lid came off and
I could see the sky, I could seeeverything for once.
Um so I that's what I have mcreated is the limiting belief
portion.
It's called re-root the script.
Because we don't want to roothave our identity rooted in
(26:01):
beliefs that aren't true.
And we want to uproot them andre-root them in truth.
And so it's just a simplemethod.
But once that happened and Icould make sense of it all, it
all just became clear on why Idid this, why do I always do
this?
Why does this always happen?
Why am I like the way I am?
(26:22):
You know, finding out you're apeople pleaser, uh finding out
this, then the awareness isthere and you can make sense of
it, logical sense of it, itbecomes easier.
And you may not, until you getto that point, it's gonna be
hard.
And it may not be so easy torecognize that you are doing it
(26:45):
again.
Uh-huh.
And the guilt's there again.
And now I still get guiltysometimes.
Don't get me wrong.
Because, you know, I just Ithat's how I I really want
people to be happy.
But I have to remind myself toothat I don't make them happy.
And if it's something that Ireally feel obligated that I
should do, then I do it.
(27:07):
You know, it's just easy.
Do you really want to?
Do you not?
And just use your best judgment.
And if it makes sense to you ina logical way, and if it if it
doesn't help you move forward towhere you're wanting to go, if
it's detrimental, definitely sayno.
And if it's just something thatit might take a few hours, uh,
(27:31):
you know, but it's not gonnahurt anything, and you want to,
you know, be able to be therefor somebody, do it.
Because I think we are supposedto make a difference.
Just not to our detriment.
SPEAKER_01 (27:44):
So what can we do once we identify some of these
limiting beliefs?
What's the next step torewriting them?
SPEAKER_00 (27:50):
Uh realize and really see our limiting beliefs
because once we see them in ourpast and see how we've still uh
live that way and believe thatthat way, it really clicks.
But what we have to do then isto look at each of these beliefs
and then root them in sometruths.
(28:12):
Let's say I'm always last, youknow, I'm always, you know,
last.
I never can seem to getmomentum, I'm not qualified, all
the things that hold us back,like we talked about.
And then I want we need to goand find the contradictions
there in our lives.
(28:33):
Because we're gonna find where,what about right here?
Look what you did there.
You got first place.
Look right here, what you didhere.
You were the top uh promoter forthis whatever.
Look here how you helped thisperson overcome this issue.
There are so there is so muchevidence in our lives that
(28:57):
contradict what you've beentelling yourself, you just don't
realize it.
And so we're gonna base a newbelief on truth because beliefs
aren't necessarily truth.
Some of them are, some of themaren't.
And like I'm not smart, I can'tdo that.
Well, look what you got on thescored on that thing right
(29:17):
there, you know, and we have tofind it because we don't, in the
whole scheme of things, we can'tsit we have a hard time pointing
out our assets that we have, ourskills, our assets, our
accomplishments.
We only look at our failures,and so we have to focus on them.
And then once we can say this isnot me, I'm not a quitter, then
(29:38):
that new belief is you know, Ikeep going because it's based on
truth, because this is theproof.
You have the proof, so you cansquash that belief.
SPEAKER_01 (29:50):
Right.
So you're looking for evidencethat it's not true.
Yeah.
And and that this is justsomething you're telling
yourself.
SPEAKER_00 (29:57):
Mm-hmm.
Yep.
And it's something that you'veTold yourself from way back
when, you know, maybe you didrun last at one time or didn't
get invited to a dance orsomething in your past, and it
just crushed you because youweren't chosen and you, you
know, nobody wanted to chooseyou and you're alone and unloved
(30:20):
and unneeded, you know, allthose things that people go
through.
And in life, now you can say,Your husband chose you, your
wife chose you, God chose you.
This friend chose you.
This boss chose you.
You're not unworthy to bechosen.
(30:42):
And I think that we have topoint it out to people that
there is contradictory evidenceof what you're thinking, and you
need to just squash that thoughtand then look at the truth and
then form your beliefs on that.
I am chosen because I'm worthyof being chosen.
SPEAKER_01 (31:01):
Yeah, we always seem to think the worst things about
ourselves.
It's hard to convince ourselvesthat we're that we're good
sometimes.
SPEAKER_00 (31:09):
Yep.
Yep.
And I think women have itharder.
I think a lot of men do too, butI think women take it, we we
really make it our identity.
And that's where it's just youcan't escape it.
Yeah.
And we like to identify with ourproblems and our shortcomings,
our diagnoses.
(31:30):
We just always identify with allof these things.
And if that's all you'reidentifying with, that's all
you're gonna be.
unknown (31:36):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_00 (31:37):
You've got to speak truth, you know, and the more
you speak truth and what you aregood at, that is what's gonna
flourish, and that's what'sgonna keep the dominoes going in
the right direction.
SPEAKER_01 (31:49):
The negativity is just gonna keep us stuck.
SPEAKER_00 (31:51):
Yeah.
SPEAKER_01 (31:52):
So perfectionism.
Perfectionism often hides behindhigh standards or you know,
being responsible.
So, how do you help women movefrom perfectionism and
performance into a life thatfeels more authentic?
SPEAKER_00 (32:04):
I think perfectionism, it depends.
If you are a true perfectionistis different than somebody who
seems to be one, it's but it'sjust a stalling tactic.
I think sometimes we can usethat and it's based out of fear
and inadequacies and stuff thatyou feel like it's if I don't
(32:25):
show up perfect, then I don'tI'm not qualified.
I think some of I think there'sa true difference.
Now there's some people that area perfectionist based on their
belief that uh they've alwaysbeen told they have to be
perfect.
They've always felt like theyhave to make all A's, be the
best person on the team.
And if they're not, then they'renot good enough.
(32:47):
Perfect made them the best orlovable or worthy.
So I think it there's twodifferent aspects of it, but for
the most part, I would want themto tell me all the times that
they've been perfect.
List me everything that you'vedone that has been perfect, and
there's not going to be verymany answers.
SPEAKER_01 (33:10):
I was gonna say, I don't know if I can come up with
too many because because I couldhave always been more perfect.
SPEAKER_00 (33:16):
But what's more perfect?
Yeah, there's not.
Perfect is perfect, and nobody'sperfect.
So, and I also, and if you can'ttell me anything, and then there
may not be anything to tellbecause you never tried, because
you never allowed yourself tomess up.
And I think that that isdetrimental that we never even
try because we can't face notbeing perfect.
(33:38):
I think that's a big burden forpeople to grasp.
That's a heavy, heavy burden.
I think that would take a lot ofuncovering.
We're gonna mess up ineverything we do.
When we start, we're alwaysgonna be a beginner at something
if we're starting something.
When we get to the next phase,we're at the beginning of the
next phase.
And that I think too, when youare living out of perfectionism,
(33:59):
you are nearly incapable ofgrowing because growing is going
through obstacles and mess upsand failures and coming out on
the other side.
Because then you've grown somuch more and you've got so much
more uh potential andopportunities with that.
(34:20):
That's our story.
That's how we how we even get astory.
And if you are just I can't doit because I'm I have to be
perfect, um keeps you from doingnothing.
Pretty much nothing.
SPEAKER_01 (34:34):
I'm a recovering perfectionist, and one of the
things that I do is I aim tofail four times a month.
That is my that is my goal.
And although I don't like to saythat I fail, it allows me to try
so many new things and not beafraid because I am allowed to
fail up to four times thatmonth.
(34:54):
How hard is that for you to dothough?
Oh, it's it's tough.
But I heard it on a podcast onetime.
Just give yourself you should betrying to fail at least four
times a month.
And I don't like failing, but Iknow I'm allowed to fail four
times.
And it just keeps me out of thatperfectionism and it keeps me
being able to try new things andput myself out there a little
bit more.
(35:15):
And if I fail, I go, okay, well,that's one.
And then I try again the nextone.
Okay, well, that's that's two.
But with the more times I allowmyself to fail, the more
successes I am, I am alsoseeing, and that is huge.
So it's been a way for me to letgo of some of that
perfectionism.
SPEAKER_00 (35:33):
That's good.
I think that the word fail,failure is uh, I don't think we
ever will fail until we quit.
SPEAKER_01 (35:42):
Yeah, for sure.
SPEAKER_00 (35:43):
Truly not ever fail.
Because if you keep going, youhaven't failed.
Failure, if something didn'twork, and we want to call it
failure, it's feedback.
It's information that we say,okay, that didn't work that way.
What let's see, let's try this.
It's only feedback thatsomething didn't work the way it
was supposed to, and we justkeep going.
(36:05):
I mean, we wouldn't haveelectricity, we wouldn't have
anything if people gave up ontheir first time it didn't work.
And I like to look at it asfeedback, it's just something we
use and take the take thatinformation and now do this.
And then we do this.
And the more you do it, you areperfecting your whatever it is,
(36:29):
but it probably will never beperfect for everyone.
And when we look at it, we takeit personal.
We're the failure, not what thiswas supposed to do, we are.
So we take it on as being afailure rather than this didn't
work.
This didn't.
I worked, I worked hard, and Iwas putting all the hours in and
(36:51):
putting all my blood, sweat, andtears in it.
I worked, but that didn't work.
But I'm not a failure.
That didn't work, and so I haveto kind of remind people and
remind myself that every time Iquit throughout everything I
did, I would start and a yearlater quit and go again.
(37:14):
I just kept saying lazy,quitter, procrastinator,
unmotivated.
That's I would tell my failure.
Those were all the things that Isaid, and it's not true.
No, they're not true.
There's so much more behindthat.
And if I really looked, then itwas I wasn't passionate.
(37:35):
It wasn't something in me thatwas just wanting to do, it
didn't align with what I wantedto do in the world and my
purpose, and now I know that.
And then I made all these otherexcuses up because I didn't know
what was going on.
SPEAKER_01 (37:49):
But you learned everything at all of those jobs,
right?
You learned valuable skills thatyou it's part of your story,
it's brought you to where youare now.
SPEAKER_00 (37:57):
It's my story, and I learned a lot, and now I can use
that story and all that I wentthrough to hopefully thwart
people from going as long as Idid through it.
You know, don't but even ifyou're older than me, we can
still, you know, stop it in itstracks.
SPEAKER_01 (38:15):
Yeah, for sure.
There's never a bad time tostart.
So you've built the make yourmark movement, and this is
helping women use their voicesand their values.
So tell me a bit about that.
SPEAKER_00 (38:26):
Yes, that is how I am helping women who have been
tried direct sales, been in itfor a while, or still in it, and
it's still not uh there's stilljust that little inkling if
something's not it's missingthat there there's more, there's
more for me, and they just knowit.
They just don't know what it is.
So I help them to transition oradd on to what they're already
(38:51):
doing, is their own business tohelp them create and build their
own business aligned with whatlights them up, their passion,
so they can fulfill theirpurpose, that feeling that's not
being met, and make the impactthat they were made to make.
So that is how they will maketheir mark.
(39:13):
And then if needed, we'll pullin my signature method of the
limiting beliefs at thebeginning of that.
If we have a lot of roadblocks,we gotta undo all that first.
So the make your mark move waswas my creation in my mind at
first, and then the bigawakening came, and so I it's
like I have my signature methodof dealing with that kind of
(39:35):
inside it.
So, and that's just all recent.
I mean, I like I said, it wasjust birth chairs sitting at my
computer just you know a fewmonths ago.
SPEAKER_01 (39:44):
I love that you had the courage to to do that and to
recognize that you had a reallyvaluable message to put out
there.
SPEAKER_00 (39:50):
So congratulations.
I didn't have the couragebefore, and once I did and
recognized it and realized I dohave some value here and I've
got a story, and now that's whatgets me up in the morning.
I mean, I want to share it onthese podcasts, I want to be
vulnerable because that's wherethe strength is, not the
(40:10):
weakness.
And I've learned all thesethings and they're all just I
I've known them, but I didn'tknow them and believe them.
SPEAKER_01 (40:19):
So I love that.
Kelly, where can people findyou?
SPEAKER_00 (40:22):
I am on Facebook a lot.
That Instagram and Facebook ismy main places that I try to uh
reach people.
You've got the links thathopefully will be here.
I do.
SPEAKER_01 (40:31):
I will put them all in the show notes, including
you've got a freebie, which islike this unscripted reflective
roadmap to reclaim your voice,your vision, and your worth.
SPEAKER_00 (40:39):
Yeah.
Yeah.
So I've got a good guide for youfree, that link, and um I think
I've got I might have my littlewebsite link too for another
freebie if they want.
So I'll give you we'll give themthat too.
Get them two freebies.
SPEAKER_01 (40:53):
Put that all in the show notes.
People can uh will be able tofind you.
Kelly, thank you so much forbeing here and for sharing your
wisdom with us.
I know my listeners are walkingaway today with a lot of clarity
and probably some courage too tostart rewriting some of those
old beliefs.
It's been a real gift to haveyou here, and I thank you so
much for sharing your story withus.
SPEAKER_00 (41:13):
It's been a gift for me too.
I just I loved it.
I appreciate your time to giveme this opportunity.
And I hope that everybody outthere that is listening will
start not just hoping, but willat one day become certain that
they have value and they have astory.
SPEAKER_01 (41:32):
And thank you so much for everyone for spending
time with us today.
If this episode resonated withyou, feel free to share with a
friend or anyone who could use alittle encouragement.
The more that we share theseconversations and have them
spread, the more people that wecan reach together.
And if you'd like to stayconnected, make sure that you
follow me.
I'm most active on Facebook atthe Codependent Doctor and
Instagram at DRAngela Downey.
(41:52):
I'd love to hear your thoughts,so don't be shy about leaving a
comment or reaching out.
I wish you all a great week asyou learn to foster a better
relationship with the mostimportant person in your life,
yourself.
I'm going to talk to you againin two weeks for another episode
of the Codependent Doctor.
Take care for now.
You've got this.
Thanks for spending time with metoday.
I hope something in this episoderesonated with you.
(42:15):
If it did, hit follow,subscribe, or share it with
someone who needs to hear ittoday.
The Codependent Doctor is notmedical advice and doesn't
replace speaking to yourhealthcare provider.
If you're in a crisis, please goto the nearest ER or call 911 or
reach out to your local mentalhealth helpline.
I'll be back here next week withmore support, stories, and
strategies because we're healingtogether.
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