Ep 3 - Gay Fathers, Gay Dads, Gay Parents - Navigating the Journey of Coming Out.

In this episode, Brian discusses the challenges of recording solo, the impact of wildfires in Southern California, and shares personal reflections on his coming out journey. He emphasizes the importance of support networks for LGBTQ individuals and highlights listener stories that resonate with the themes of self-acceptance and community. Brian also mentions the upcoming podcast-a-thon and the Trevor Project, encouraging listeners to engage with supportive organizations.

Coming Inside OUT is a safe space where listeners can find solidarity, inspiration, and the courage to embrace their true selves. Whether you're a gay father, gay parent, a person exploring your identity, or an ally seeking to understand the experiences of the LGBTQ community, this podcast is for you. Tune in for heartfelt conversations, insight and a sense of belonging that we all crave.

Join your host Brian as he candidly shares his own journey out of the closet while navigating the joys and challenges of parenthood as an openly gay father.

Brian connects with fellow gay dads, sharing their inspiring stories, victories, and struggles while delving into the complexities of grappling with sexuality. Brian discusses his experience as a teen, husband and father aiming to foster a supportive community for those still in the closet, reassuring them that they are not alone in their journey.

Email: [e-mail]

#gay #lgbtqpodcast #lgbtq #gaymen #gayparent #comingout #project369 #realestate #realtor

Keywords: LGBTQ, coming out, support, community, personal journey, Gay Christian Men, Trevor Project, podcast, mental health, self-acceptance

Takeaways: Brian shares his experience of recording solo due to John's absence. The wildfires in Southern California have affected many in the community. Support networks are crucial for those navigating their coming out journey. Brian reflects on the similarities between weight loss and coming out. The journey of coming out is unique for everyone and takes time. Listener stories provide a sense of community and shared experience. The importance of organizations like the Trevor Project is highlighted. Brian expresses gratitude for the podcast's listeners and their support. The podcast aims to create a safe space for discussions around LGBTQ issues. Engagement with listeners is a key aspect of the podcast's mission.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Hello, gay men. Welcome to Coming Inside Out.

(00:04):
I am your host, Brian James.
Unfortunately, John was not able to join me this week.
And in an effort to continue dropping new episodes every
Tuesday, I'm attempting to pull this one off by myself.
Today is January 20th, and I couldn't think of a more
fitting backdrop than my Obama inaugurational poster.

(00:27):
So I am here recording from my home where it is super windy
today, and I've already lost internet connection a couple
times. So this is attempt, I think, number three at getting
this episode out to you guys today. Again, John and I are in
Southern California. The wildfires have been crazy. The
winds have been crazy. I know that John evacuated from his

(00:51):
home due to the sunset fire. I have not been evacuated
I've received a couple of voluntary evacuation notices,
but the wind has been the biggest issue and the electricity
here in Santa Clarita where I live. John and I both have
friends and clients and colleagues that have been

(01:14):
devastated by the fires, several of them losing their home.
So our hearts go out to everybody affected by these
fires. One of the first things I'm going to talk about
one of our listeners wrote in he is a man that grew up with
a faith in religion. After he came out, he was not supported

(01:37):
by his church. He found a group through Facebook. It's called
Gay Christian Men, but I looked into this group and it's
members of all faith. So maybe you already know of this group
and if you don't know of this group, hopefully that they can
provide you with some support. I'm going to take a couple
minutes to talk about my coming out journey. I've shared a

(02:01):
lot about my coming out with you guys, but I will take a
couple minutes in August. I decided that I was going to
lose my COVID weight, which I had mostly gained in my mid
section and love handles. So I started cleaning up my diet
and exercising more in an effort to get rid of my

(02:23):
stomach fat. But what I noticed was that my arms were getting
thinner. My legs were getting thinner. My face started to
lose weight and I was just like, when is this weight going
to start coming off of my stomach and love handles? And let me
tell you, it was the last thing for me to start noticing.

(02:46):
And my focus from day one was these love handles and the
stomach fat. And it was so frustrating to go through this
process, wanting something to happen and not seeing the results.
And in walking my dog, I thought, oh my God, this is like my
coming out journey. When I decided to come out, I had very

(03:11):
specific goals in mind. How my life was going to change, how
my life was going to be affected, what it was going to look
like. And this is five years into my coming out journey. And
it's very similar to my weight loss. Things have happened
all around me. And it's not until this five year mark that

(03:36):
I'm kind of at the point where I'm like, oh my God, finally
the thing that I had been focused on from the very beginning
is starting to shift and change. So I know through all of the
people, our listeners that are writing into us that are
sharing their journey, you may be completely in the closet.

(03:58):
You may be somebody who has just started to explore. I read
the other day about somebody just starting to explore. Or you
may be out and proud and completely enjoying your new life.
It is a process for each and every one of us. It looks
completely different for each and every one of us. So don't
give up hope. Just like with my weight loss, I really wanted

(04:22):
to give up and just go back to eating and doing what I was
doing before. But I held on and I stayed the course and like
I said, it's many years into my journey and things are just
starting to shift and come together in a way that I had
expected them or wanted them to from the beginning. This

(04:46):
episode is going to be shorter. But again, I wanted to share
something with you guys. John and I received this email today.
So I'm going to read this to you. And it says, hello, Brian
and John. I hope this email finds you well. I still love the
podcast and everything you guys talk about. I listen every week

(05:08):
in season one, you mentioned my email and John asked that I
write back in with an update. I have a few updates. I joined
Gay Fathers Worldwide as recommended and how husbands out
to wives. I've been able to find some guys to chat with who are
great for support. When we last spoke, I had come out to my

(05:32):
very supportive wife, but we had not decided on our next steps.
In mid November, we decided it was best for us to separate. We
hadn't wanted to do it during the holidays. So this past
weekend was the big transition. The conversations we had
about the separation and why with our families were some of the

(05:54):
hardest I'd ever gone through. We have not told our children,
but I'm sure that is coming in due time. I cannot express.
Oh, I cannot stress how important a good support network has
been for me and feeling like I am not alone. You guys share
your stories and the stories of people who have written in to

(06:17):
help me realize that many, many men go through this and there
is relief on the other side. Thank you again for all you do.
Oh my goodness. I am so touched by this and I will definitely
share this with John today as well. You know, it is just, oh,

(06:39):
it feels so good to hear again from our listeners the support
we get, the people that we have impacted by doing this podcast
every week. We love the listeners. We love the support. We
thank you guys so much for tuning in every week. And it's odd

(07:04):
to be doing this one myself today. So I'm kind of stumbling
through it a little bit. It's going to be a much shorter
episode than we usually have. But again, in an effort to get
something out to you guys this week, I wanted to just drop this
for you. So thank you so much again for listening, for writing

(07:25):
in, for showing your support to other men and women. We've done
the demographics and we do have a percentage of the people
listening to our podcast that are women. Keep in mind, we are
still looking for a organization to do, to spotlight in our

(07:46):
podcast, Athon, which is coming in March. As of right now, I'm
kind of leaning toward the Trevor Project. If you're not
familiar with the Trevor Project, I encourage you to log on
to their website and check them out. They do have volunteer
positions available. And again, this is an organization that
supports the LGBTQ community specifically geared towards the

(08:10):
youth. Thank you so much for joining me this week and much
love to you. Take care.