Ep 4 - Gay Fathers, Gay Dads, Gay Parents - Navigating the Journey of Coming Out. LGBTQ+ Community

In this episode, Brian reflects on the evolution of his podcast, the importance of community connections, and the current state of diversity, equity, and inclusion within the LGBTQ community. He shares personal experiences and insights on consumer choices that impact the community, encouraging listeners to engage and share their own journeys.

Coming Inside OUT is a safe space where listeners can find solidarity, inspiration, and the courage to embrace their true selves. Whether you're a gay father, gay parent, a person exploring your identity, or an ally seeking to understand the experiences of the LGBTQ community, this podcast is for you. Tune in for heartfelt conversations, insight and a sense of belonging that we all crave.

Join your host Brian as he candidly shares his own journey out of the closet while navigating the joys and challenges of parenthood as an openly gay father.

Brian connects with fellow gay dads, sharing their inspiring stories, victories, and struggles while delving into the complexities of grappling with sexuality. Brian discusses his experience as a teen, husband and father aiming to foster a supportive community for those still in the closet, reassuring them that they are not alone in their journey.

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#gay #lgbtqpodcast #lgbtq #gaymen #gayparent #comingout #project369 #realestate #realtor

Keywords: LGBTQ, podcast, community, diversity, inclusion, support, coming out, consumer choices, personal growth, relationships

Takeaways The podcast has evolved significantly since its inception. Community connections are vital for personal growth and support. Diversity, equity, and inclusion are critical issues in 2025. Consumer choices can impact the LGBTQ community positively or negatively. Listening to others' stories can provide valuable insights. Support for the LGBTQ community is essential during challenging times. Engagement with listeners fosters a sense of belonging. Personal experiences shape the understanding of community dynamics. The importance of kindness and support within the community. The podcast aims to provide a platform for diverse voices.

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Hello gay men. Welcome to Coming Inside Out. I'm your host, Brian Janes. Thank you so much for joining me today.

(00:09):
Hey, last week I did my first solo episode and several of you wrote in and told me that I did a great job.
So I really appreciate that. It was the first time doing the podcast by myself. I was a little nervous.
The episode was a little shorter. So thank you again for writing in and showing your support.
In 2025, I am restructuring the podcast and I am very excited at the opportunity to do new things this season.

(00:40):
So I hope to be bringing you some great content this year and I hope you continue to listen.
And thinking about the podcast for 2025, it really took me back to the beginning of how this podcast came to be.
And I thought, wow, when I first came out, the very first thing that happened for me after I acknowledged my sexuality was I went online

(01:11):
and I found through Craigslist a website called Double List and I shared this in the past season.
But I found this website Double List and on that site is where I first discovered there was a community of closeted married men that were struggling with their sexuality.

(01:32):
And from that site, I came to find Scruff and then I came to find Grindr from there, logging into Facebook.
I found some amazing groups. Gay Fathers of Los Angeles was the first group that I found through Facebook and that led me to Gay Fathers worldwide.
And through those groups, I found some amazing men. I formed some amazing relationships and unlike Scruff and Grindr and these other sites, these men weren't looking for my dick pics.

(02:07):
So they were looking to form friendships with me and we really bonded just based on our life experiences.
Talking to these gentlemen, it became very clear to me that I wanted to be of service in this community.
I wanted to offer my support to anybody out there, whether you're a man or a woman struggling with your sexuality.

(02:37):
I wanted to put a voice out there to these people to let them know that they weren't alone and through talking to several members in my Gay Fathers group and also through being a guest on another podcast and telling my story.
It was pretty clear to me that the best way to reach people was through a podcast and that is how the podcast was born and over the last year, this podcast has really become my passion project.

(03:12):
I've spent a lot of time and energy learning how to produce, create and market a podcast. So it's been a great learning experience for me. But most importantly, I started to learn about the LGBTQ community.
Prior to coming out, I really didn't have any knowledge of the community. I knew there were gay people. I knew there was gay events. I wasn't familiar with pride. I wasn't familiar with equality.

(03:43):
I wasn't familiar with anything related to the gay community. This podcast really became my passion project.
I immediately started researching the LGBTQ community. I logged on to several sites. I started reading about equality. I started researching topics. I started researching organizations.

(04:07):
And from there, any given day of the week, you could find me talking to my children about the LGBTQ community and topics that I had read about, information that I had learned, and just really instilling this information into them that I didn't have prior.

(04:28):
Just to help give them some compassion for the LGBTQ community. Once the podcast was aired, I was blessed to hear back from several people that had listened to the first episodes.
And I heard from them and I also was able to learn from them. Several of you have written in and allowed me to share in your journey and allowed me to share your journey with other listeners, which I am so appreciative of, blessed and honored with.

(05:01):
It has really been uplifting and it's been a joy for me to see how the LGBTQ community has progressed over the years. Several of you have written in and shared where you're at in your coming out journey and something I would like to bring to you.
I don't know if any of you have listened to the podcast out late with David, but this past week, he did an interview with a gentleman by the name of Mark Dembo and Mark was my roomie in Sargatoc, Michigan.

(05:36):
He is an amazing man. He told the story of his coming out, which is quite recent to his wife and just how amazing that experience has been for him. So if you haven't had a chance to listen to that, if you're one of the people that has written into me and you're on the bubble about when you're going to come out and how you're going to come out

(05:58):
and what it might possibly look like for you, I encourage you to find that podcast out late with David and listen to his latest episode with Mark.
And I have also finally figured out the technical side of this whole podcast. So in the near future, I am finally going to be able to have guests on the show.

(06:21):
So that's amazing. If you are somebody who has thought about being on the podcast, if you would like your voice to be heard, if you would like your story to be heard, I encourage you to reach out to me at cominginsideout at gmail.com.
If you want to write into the podcast, you know that I've read your emails in the past. Everything is confidential. I don't give out your email address. I don't give out your name. So if there's something you'd like to share, if there's something you'd like the other listeners to give you feedback on, please write in again coming inside out at gmail.com.

(06:57):
A topic I would like to bring up today is the DEI, which is the diversity, equality and inclusion policies that a lot of companies have either implemented or have adhered to for several years.
And in recent news, you'll see that large retailers such as Target, Lowe, Amazon, McDonald's and several others, if you go online, you'll be able to see who those companies are have decided that they're going to remove those policies.

(07:30):
And for me, it seems small minded, because I think a lot of people think that the DEI is specific to the LGBTQ community, which it is not. These policies affect veterans, they affect people with disabilities, and they also affect minority groups.

(07:51):
Policies have been put into place to really protect a lot of classes and to provide protection for the employees that work within those organizations. So it feels like a step back in 2025 to see companies removing these safeguards for their employees.

(08:17):
I'm online and I see that there is just so much. I don't know, it feels like hatred going around recently with the transgender community.
So I feel like this is really a time that we need to be kind to one another, we need to be supporting each other, and we also need to be heard. I really don't know what the steps are. I've seen on social media that people are now boycotting Walmart, they're boycotting Target.

(08:49):
There's this massive movement towards Ben and Jerry's because they are a very LGBTQ plus corporation. Also Costco, I see that people are going opening up Costco memberships and choosing to go there instead of shopping online with Amazon, Target, or Walmart.
And I really don't know what the answer is. When I first came out in 2020, I had discovered that Chick-fil-A and Hobby Lobby were two organizations that were not LGBTQ friendly, and I personally boycotted both of those.

(09:28):
I know at some point in time, in and out Burger was donating money to the Republican Party and I boycotted them. I don't know what the answer is today. I would love to hear from the listeners and find out what they're doing with this information.
Are they using alternative stores or are they using alternative websites? What are they doing going forward? What does this look like? I would like to get that information out to our listeners. Are you continuing to shop at Target, Walmart, on Amazon?

(10:02):
Have you moved over to Costco? Are there other companies that you have chosen to support? Are you remaining silent? It feels like in the last week, a lot has been coming at the LGBTQ community.
I would love to be able to share with people who are tuning into the podcast. I would love this information for myself as well. I'm looking to support our community the best ways that I can possibly.

(10:32):
I want to remain optimistic and positive during these times. I want to provide support. So your input is valuable to me and to this podcast.
And with that, thank you so much for tuning in today. I know that these have been shorter episodes, but in my restructuring process, I am planning to bring on some guests.

(10:56):
So bear with me as I get things figured out and I look forward to bringing you another episode next Tuesday. Thank you so much. Have a wonderful afternoon.