March 5, 2025 • 28 mins
In this episode I talk about losing faith - and wondering, 'what on earth am I doing' occasionally when we are active in our spiritual pursuits. I also talk a lot about spiritual bypassing, what it is and why this is relevant in the discussion of how we could land in a place where we reject spirituality.
Here is the podcast / YT with Gabor Mate and Gabby Bernstein that I mention.
I really hope you enjoy, relate - or that it provokes some food for thought?! Please leave me a review as it makes a big difference! Thanks so much.
Links:
Hey! I'm Rachel! I am a qualified Holistic Life Coach and Mind Body Practitioner, Embodiment Coach, Yoga 500hrs (plus lots more extra yoga quals). I'm also an award winning content creator and have 20 years' experience in digital. I'm a mum of 3 kids and I live in the Peak District - oh and I have ADHD and I am sober. My passion is helping midlife women turn meltdown into magic!
Offerings:
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Rachel Brady's video (00:01):
Conscious but Grounded is a podcast about
spirituality, high vibe livingin the real world.
I ask questions like, how do weconnect to the magic?
The spirit, the source, theuniverse, but with our feet
firmly planted on the ground.
How do we show up in a consciousway and harness that to make
big, paradigm busting change inthe day to day of our lives?
(00:23):
I'm Rachel Brady, mum of three,yoga teacher and embodiment
coach.
This is the place where I'll bereflecting and exploring big,
deep questions, all with a pinchof self deprecation, a few
proper lols, and a lot of reallife.
Join me.
Good morning, everybody.
(00:44):
Uh, well, it's a morning where Iam.
It's probably not a morningwhere you are.
I'm just about to set off on acar journey, so good day to you,
uh, wherever you are, or goodevening.
Um, I'm setting off on a carjourney.
It's very early in the morning,so it's actually my favourite
time to record, and car journeysand dog walks seem to be my
(01:08):
favourite time to record.
I do like.
multitasking, um, and I think, Iwas talking to someone about it
the other day.
I think that they, that thesetimes get you into a certain
state.
I'm not sure what brain state itis.
(01:28):
But, um, I don't, I don't thinkI'm alone in liking these times
for thinking time.
And I think and process reallydirectly into the phone.
And I think I said this on thelast episode, I love to process
as I create.
So I, I, I do.
I always have an idea about whatI want to talk about or write
(01:49):
about and then, and then itactually ends up being slightly
different sometimes or justtakes shape and I really like
that.
And from a logistical point ofview, it's the only goddamn way
I'm going to get this thingdone.
And it's really important to meto keep going with this project.
Um, yeah, so I'm on my way to anappointment, I'm getting an MRI.
(02:14):
I actually have a I have loadsof MRIs because I have a
pituitary tumor.
It's benign, which I alwaysquickly follow up with because
people look aghast.
Uh, that doesn't mean it doesn'tcome up with that, come with,
out.
It's early.
It's own problems, it does.
Um.
But I am all good.
(02:35):
And this one isn't for that.
It's actually for my lower back.
And I've had this problem for afew years.
I think there's something goingon there.
So I've just thought, Oh, I'mgoing to get an MRI, but I'm
okay.
I'm good.
I'm good.
I'm good.
I'm good.
And I'm having my coffee and Imeditated today.
Oh my gosh.
When I finished this, um,process, I'm only just learning
(02:56):
about fading meditation, butwhen I finished, I'm going to
have to have the teacher on hereand talk to you guys about it.
It's a twice a day meditationtechnique, two 20 minute
sessions a day.
So far so good.
I'm on day three.
Yeah.
(03:17):
I'm going to share more aboutthat when I've kind of.
embodied it more and I'veintegrated it.
So what I wanted to talk abouttoday, not sure really, it
wasn't anything definite, but Ithink, oh great, what a great
intro.
Don't know what I want to talkabout today.
No, what I want to talk abouttoday is do you ever, Do you
(03:39):
ever doubt your spirituality?
Yeah?
So do you ever have a crisis offaith, if you like?
That makes it sound morereligious, but let's not split
hairs here, they are quitesimilar.
Um, and yeah, I definitely havemoments where I am not entirely
(04:05):
sure that I'm not just kiddingmyself and I'm trying to escape
life.
So I think what prompted this asa subject today was I was just
dashing out the house.
I'd meditated.
I'd just quickly got ready.
I was, you know, one coffee downand getting another one to drive
(04:26):
the car with, uh, not that I'mdriving the car with coffee, but
to drink on the way.
That makes sense.
And a friend of mine has aSubstack, Alex actually, she's
been on here and her, the titleof her new Substack came up and
it mentioned spiritualbypassing.
I've not read it yet.
So spiritual.
(04:47):
Bypassing describes where you'regoing through something and
instead of kind of dealing withit in a head on way, maybe
utilizing western medicine or,you know, psychology or healing,
trauma healing or, you know,talking therapies, whatever, a
(05:09):
range of techniques and, youknow, uh, that you just kind of
go, you know, actually thedivine is going to take care of
it and I'm, I'm going to chantand I'm just going to be all
good.
Now.
Now, that's not to say thatchanting and those types of
things don't have a place inthere, in healing.
They absolutely do.
And actually I thinkspirituality can be more healing
(05:32):
than a lot of western medicinethings.
It's so individual though,right?
There was an excellent episodeand I will try and find it and
link to it below.
And I always think, I alwayssay, I'll link to it below and
then never link to things.
So sorry about that.
And comment in the, in thecomment section on any episode
if you like, actually you didsay you linked to something and
you haven't linked to it.
Sorry.
I'll link to this.
(05:53):
And it's an episode of GabbyBernstein and Gabba Mattei talk
about two awesome dudes.
Uh, and they are talking aboutspiritual bypassing for trauma
and it's a fantastic episode.
And she says without thespiritual bypass, sorry, without
(06:14):
the spirituality, she wouldn'thave been able to get to the
more, you know, more 3d, moreregular healing.
And I believe she used internalfamily system.
It is a psychological approachas well.
(06:36):
I've actually had quite a lot ofinternal family systems therapy
myself, so I know quite a lotabout it.
And Gabor Mate says the otherway round for him.
So he says he used the healingtools that were out there first.
and then was able to accessspirituality.
And so they talked about,especially Gavimato, was very
(06:57):
much like, look, it's reallyimportant not to spiritually
bypass trauma.
And I think seeing the mentionof spiritual bypassing, which is
a fantastic subject, and I'mreally trying to be conscious
that I'm not in a spirituallybypassing place with my own Um,
traumas.
I nearly said small traumasthere, but I try not to minimise
(07:18):
things because trauma is traumais trauma, right?
Uh, with my own experiences andtrauma because, and this is
where it ties into the podcast.
Because if we are spirituallybypassing, if we're like I'm
gonna drink cacao to heal thisabuse that's been in my life,
you know, I'm gonna Do yoga andeverything's gonna be all good
(07:41):
because I'm healing my rootchakra and that's where the
abuse is stored.
Like, great.
I love that you're doing that.
But what else are you doing?
Are you seeing a therapist?
Are you supported in your day today life?
You know, uh, have you spoken toyour doctor?
So, so it's like, are you It'sthe spiritual piece on its own
(08:04):
that's not grounded in 3D.
That's where That's spiritualbypassing.
So it's like And I think thisconversation is turning into
more of what is spiritualbypassing, right?
But I will link it back to howthe conversation of, do you ever
just lose faith?
(08:25):
Because I feel like if wespiritually bypass our trauma
and if we spiritually bypass ourexperiences, that I'm just going
to go around and be a purelyspiritual person and kind of not
engage with the world that'sright in front of us.
Then I feel like actually youare at risk of losing your
faith, because what will happenis, the world will just wake you
(08:47):
up and slap you around the faceone day and go, you are
spiritually bypassing.
And then you'll be like, yeah,fuck spirituality, it's, it's
got me in denial of what'shappening.
Where the real beauty lies iswith both.
Right?
So it's like, it's like It'slike today.
Let's use today as an example.
(09:08):
Perfect example.
That is perfect.
It's almost like I planned itand I didn't.
I don't do things like that.
Um, so I'm going for an MRI,right?
Normally it's for my brainsituation, which is a pituitary
tumour.
And I can also tie this into theback problem I'm having.
So, there's a big spiritualbelief system around tumours.
(09:28):
and any illness and dis ease inthe body having a spiritual
cause.
Okay?
So, pituitary tumours are seenas, you could argue, you know,
in the work of Donna Hay andnumerous other practitioners
that I actually love, but I justdon't put all my eggs in that
basket.
So, they would say a pituitarytumour is caused by, or could be
(09:54):
caused by, third eye chakrablockage.
And it could be caused by adisconnection to the divine and
a suppression of what isspiritual and what you know to
be true.
Um, and, and a suppression ofthe third Irish chara also could
mean that you aren't using yourintuition spiritual or
(10:16):
otherwise.
Yeah.
So it's, it could be said that,oh, if you went to a purely
spiritual practitioner and said,what is causing my pituitary
tumor or what is causing thepain in my lower back?
They could say, this is a sacralchakra issue, you have
suppressed sexuality, or youhave other sacral chakra issues.
(10:38):
You don't go with the flow,you're being too controlling.
Let's let this person through.
Um, and I don't dismiss thateither.
You know, when someone says tome, Oh my god, my hips are
terrible, I've got really badhips.
I'm like, I just immediatelythink, Socal Chakra issues.
But does that mean that Ientirely treat it in that way?
(11:00):
So I went down this route withmy pituitary tumour and it
wasn't wrong and it wasn'tright.
It was just me exploring.
And I was like, I am going tocome off the medication because
it's very heavy medication.
What am I even on this for?
I was thinking what am I even onthis for?
I don't need to get pregnantanymore, which was the original
reason why I took it because it,um, balanced out my
(11:24):
overproduction of prolactin,which was causing my ovulations
to not occur.
So I was like, what am I even onthis medication?
Is it keeping the tumour sizedown?
And I really just got sick ofthe fact that I was taking pills
every day for what I thoughtcould be seen as a spiritual
(11:45):
problem.
And so I spoke to my Reikimaster, who actually is coming
on here, and she's the mostbrilliant woman.
Um, and we discussed it, andshe, and a good spiritual
practitioner will never tell youeither way.
(12:05):
Never.
They'll just say, it's greatthat you're exploring this, or
whatever, you know, keep leaninginto your intuition, keep
exploring, and they'll do somehealing work on you.
Um, and I do believe that havingReiki, and I need to have some
more Reiki, um, will help myPituitary Tumor and I do believe
(12:30):
having healing and doing yogawhich releases the stiffness
around my sacral chakra and youknow doing work around my third
eye will help these maladies,these physical maladies that I
have.
However, if I got breast cancertomorrow, would I treat it
(12:51):
entirely with spiritual tools?
No, I bloody wouldn't! I've gotthree children and I would
absolutely.
Go down a western medicinehealing route.
I think sometimes it, it islike, okay, let's look at both
sides here.
It's like depression, right?
Let's heal this.
Let's look at what is causingthis in a spiritual way and in a
(13:12):
very 3D way.
Like you can do both.
And I think if you're notcareful, spiritual bypassing in
that physical mode, in thatphysical sense can be dangerous,
but also in a trauma sense canbe really dangerous.
And tying it into what I wasoriginally supposed to talk.
about losing faith.
I think it can be a major causeof people losing faith.
(13:35):
It's like when you put yourfaith into something entirely,
that it's going to work.
Let's take hypnobirthing for anexample.
My friend put her faith entirelyinto hypnobirthing and then had
a baby and it hurt like hell andshe was really traumatized and
she was so angry withhypnobirthing and she lost all
faith in it.
She was like, fuckhypnobirthing.
(13:55):
I'm really angry with them.
I had the people that practicethat and now you don't really.
I have to throw the baby out ofthe bathwater.
I hate that phrase, but I alwayshave to say it.
Um, you know, hypnobirthing hasso many fantastic elements to it
and I use some of them myselfand I've done the hypnobirthing
course twice.
(14:16):
Did it take away pain in mylabor?
No, no, no it didn't.
They were really hideous.
It hurt so much.
Um, and then there's a problemthere that we think, oh, perhaps
it's me, perhaps I'm doing itwrong.
And so you, you fix, you kind ofcreate a victim situation out of
it and, and you blame yourself.
Um, so you've got trademarksand, and you're on the
electronic sandbox and you gothalf You've got this wheel of
faith in yourself and thatdoesn't help anyone or anything.
So you're going to lose yourfaith in the tool.
(14:39):
But here's the thing, we, weincarnated on this earth right
now and so what my practitioner,my Reiki master would say is
like, and what other people inmy life that are really valued
what they say is like Reiki andspirituality will lead you to
the right solution and if that'smedication, it's medication.
(15:02):
Everything comes from the earth,everything comes from
spirituality, includingmedication, including healing.
Should we rely less on thosethings and more, or should it be
more of a balance?
Absolutely! Like, I love thatthey're using sound healing in
hospital wards and havingincredible results.
I love that they have Reiki inhospitals.
(15:25):
You know, there can be both.
There can be both.
And like all good spirituality,you know, well, I don't want to
be polarising good or badspirituality, but like all, you
know, what I think of as likecommon sense spirituality.
So, what we will say is like themiddle line is often the best,
like walk the middle path.
Like I often say to my son,like, it's, I try to steer away
(15:48):
from anything that's likeunilaterally this or
unilaterally that, or like verypolarizing views because life
just ain't like that.
Like we live in the gray, right?
And so do you ever lose faith?
Well, sometimes I think, God, amI really doing this?
(16:10):
And I've spoke to my Reikimaster again about this and
we'll have a chat.
I her about this, because when Iwas first getting Reikia tuned,
I was like, whoa, what are wedoing right now?
Um, and she was like,absolutely.
She was like her, she wastelling me that her master has
had moments years away from itand gone like, I've been this
down for a bit, but you comeback to it because it's your
(16:32):
truth.
And ultimately I feel like ithappens more the other way
around.
I think people forget theirfaith and people lose their
faith because they get toowrapped up in it.
Up in the reti, the drama oflife, they walk down the street
forgetting that they are on aspinning orb.
(16:53):
You know that that's like partof a, you know, infinite
universe and that we are made ofstardust.
We forget that.
And I think when we come back tothe consciousness of our magic
and the awareness of who wereally are and what we really
are, and then blend that withthe reality of being on planet
(17:15):
Earth and putting one foot infront of.
Other onto solid ground andembracing what's in front of us
and really living the life thatwe've been gifted this, this
life that we've been gifted,then that's where the kind of
sweet spot is.
Um, and don't get me wrong, likepeople lose faith because they
go through horrendous things,and that would probably happen
(17:36):
to me too.
Ironically, what would alsoprobably happen is the first
thing you'd do is pray.
So it's like if one of your kidsgot sick and touch wood, that's
not gonna happen.
I even hate speaking things likethat.
So say something happens, uh,and, and the thing hasn't fully
(17:57):
happened yet, but it's almostthreatening to happen.
That's when we pray, right?
We want hope.
We want hope.
You know, non believers pray onaeroplanes during turbulent
times, right?
But then it's like when thething happens, that's when we,
that's when we lose hope.
And that's when we lose faith,rather.
And so it's like, I asked forhelp and you didn't give it to
(18:18):
me.
And now I'm shutting you down.
And so that's what happens.
I'm guessing, it's not happenedto me, but I, and I completely
understand why.
And the reason for that isbecause we don't know what the
greater plan is.
And, and to even say that kindof hurts my head and my heart.
Because I'm never going to bethe person that says to somebody
(18:41):
who's something really bad hashappened to, Oh, it's part of
the greater plan, you know?
Um, because If somebody saidthat to you when something
really bad happened to you,you'd want to kill them.
Um, and no one wants to hearthat, right?
But that's why people lose faithbecause really devastating
(19:04):
things, devastating, awful, darkthings happen all the time.
Uh, and then we're like, howcould you do this?
How could this be part of somekind of plan?
It's fucked up and I'm out.
And so that has never happenedto me.
But boy, if something like thatdid happen to me, I probably
would.
And I would just.
I'm just a completely averagehuman and I would probably lose
(19:25):
faith too.
And you see these amazing peoplethat are like, it's only my
faith that's pulled me throughthis.
And I'm like, wow, now you havebeen tested and that is really,
really amazing that you stillhave faith.
So I'm just a very flawed, justlike very average human going
(19:45):
through life.
Um, and, and I'm very privilegedand I, I feel guilty almost
every day because my life isrelative.
Easy and simple.
And when I get really stressedand overwhelmed about little
things, I have to check myselfand go, and then you put the
news on and you kind of go,fuck.
Like we're really lucky and Iwant to talk about that
(20:06):
actually,'cause that relates.
So my son has been having somedeep and heavy and kind of quite
stressful conversations with merecently about things and he.
He accuses me regularly of like,you don't know what's going on
in the world.
And I haven't really explainedto him properly that I made a
conscious choice to do that afew years ago.
To step back from the drama ofthe world, but I actually feel
(20:26):
like I've done that too much.
And so now I'm trying to lean inmore to what's happening in the
world.
Because I feel like I've beenignorant, actually.
And so, there's a word, there'sa term, I've forgotten it now,
for being spiritually ignorant.
But actually, you can be 3Dignorant too, and that is
spiritual bypassing, also.
(20:47):
And so, it's important, there'sa lot of spiritual people that
don't want to ever watch thenews, and they do that in a
conscious way, and I understandwhy.
They don't want their vibrationto be lowered by this mainstream
media spinning carousel of badnews that they put out there to
make you feel bad, tosensationalize how bad the world
(21:09):
is when it isn't.
It's not a correct, it's not acorrect image of the world.
It is, it's not that thoseindividual things aren't
happening, they are, but it's,if you watch that you'd be like,
fuck this shit, this planet'sfucked, it's so bad, it's, it's
awful.
That's not true.
Like they don't balance it witha, with a, with a view of all
the amazing things that happenin the world, the beautiful
(21:30):
stories, the miracles.
Um, and so that's why a lot of.
If spiritual people are like,I'm not going to watch the
mainstream media because it'sgoing to, um, infect me with bad
news and give me an incorrectperception, but by doing that
and never knowing what's goingon at all, you're kind of
spiritually bypassing theexperience of being a human.
(21:52):
Um, and if you do that, you areat risk of eventually going full
circle and realizing.
You've become ungrounded in yourspirituality and actually
shutting it down.
So there's a few things therethat we've kind of talked about
and they're all coming atdifferent angles.
Yeah, so I wanted to know, haveyou ever lost your spirituality
(22:14):
and what caused it?
And do you ever just have likelittle niggles and little
doubts?
Because I definitely do.
I'm like, what, why am I, yeah,I'm like, why am I doing this?
And then I'll look at a degree.
at university and be like, okay,what, how can I be most helpful
in this 3D world?
And then I'll be like, I don'tthink I can go back to uni and
(22:38):
do a master's in psychology orwhatever it was that I was about
to do last year.
I nearly did a, I got a placeand I nearly started, it was
coming up to the starting pointand I was like, fuck, there's,
I've got major doubts here andit's because I know if I go into
that academic environment.
They won't have a balancedapproach to things in terms of
(22:58):
holistic, in terms of spiritual,in terms of the whole, the whole
person approach.
To me that includesspirituality.
It's very much around rational,rigorously scientific, you know,
measurement.
Um, and, and, and I'm not reallyinto that.
Uh, I am into that, but not whenit's all that you're doing.
(23:20):
And so I, and I know peoplewho've had that experience, I
know.
Massive practitioners, like, Idon't know them personally, but
people who've walked away fromacademia, people who've walked
away from psychology andmedicine and things like that
for that exact reason.
Uh, and so they get caught up inthe power structures.
That include things like BigPharma, and so on and so on.
(23:43):
Um, and so I'm really going off,I've gone off on so many
different thought tangents, butI guess that's just what I do.
Um, yeah, so it's very easy tolose your faith, right?
It's very easy to lose yourspirituality.
And I think, ironically, whatkeeps us grounded in
spirituality, and things likethat, is real life.
(24:03):
And Gabby Bernstein talks aboutthis a lot, it's like, don't
stop showing up in your reallife.
Don't save your spirituality.
Take it into the office and be areally good person when someone
else is an asshole.
Like, try and really live youryoga, live your spirituality.
And so that's what I'm reallypassionate about when I teach
(24:24):
yoga and I'm trying to do moreof it in my classes.
And I've really, really nailedthat this week.
I started my new block of yogateaching and I'm teaching in a
different way.
I have a 15 minute check in withpeople that come to build
connection that is real, that is3D, that is like, we are here,
we are humans having a humanexperience, how are you doing?
And then I also talk about theeight limb path and then I also
(24:48):
We try and touch on a part ofevery single part of the eight
limb path.
So we talk about the yamas andthe amas.
So ahimsa, non harming.
And I'm like, how can we bringnon harming into our lives?
Right?
And so then for the rest of theday, when I'm an asshole, when
I'm like being like, uh, withthe kids, I'm like, wait,
ahimsa, ahimsa.
And so it really helps.
(25:10):
Like, it's all right saying I'ma spiritual person.
You know, watch the bloodyBikram Yoga documentary on
Netflix, he was, I mean, he's adangerous, dangerous man.
Yet he is leading this worldwidemovement in yoga.
Um, there's a lot of charlatansout there and I think a lot of
(25:32):
the most spiritual people arejust good people that are
walking around in the worldbeing good with humble jobs and
they haven't got a podcast andthey haven't got, you know, they
haven't, they don't, they're notperformative, they're just doing
their thing and so it's reallyimportant to remember that.
Real anchored spirituality isprobably quite quiet and it
(25:55):
probably doesn't look forreward, right?
And so I'll leave it therebecause I am approaching my, uh,
place where I'm gonna get thisMRI.
Wish me luck! And, uh, yeah,hopefully the next episode will
be a recording of a chat thatI'm gonna have with my Reiki
master.
I cannot wait for you to meether.
(26:16):
She's one of my spiritualteachers and she's just
adorable.
And, uh, yeah, Very, veryanchored and literally the
perfect example of beingconscious but grounded.
And I have a lot to learn fromher.
And so, uh, look out for thatepisode.
Okay, love, uh, come follow meat Rachel Brady yoga on
(26:39):
Instagram.
Oh, I never, I didn't mention myupcoming things.
Like I say, I've got, um, yogagoing on at the minute.
I was doing well.
I'm still doing block booking,but I know that people might
wanna join mid sessions.
So drop-ins are available for 10pounds.
And that's online and in person.
And the other thing is my dayretreats.
(26:59):
There's one coming up thisSunday.
Um, however, you might belistening to this six months
down the line.
I always have them runningthough.
I'm going to do four a year,seasonal day retreats.
I also have two residentialretreats running.
One is in Edale, right next towhere I live.
That's called the WildConnection Retreat.
It's going to be amazing.
I might do a separate episodejust about the retreats and kind
(27:21):
of what I've gained fromretreats.
Uh, and that is It's abouthiking, yoga, it's about, like,
finding cool, kick ass, soberbesties, sober friends,
connection with other soberwomen in a fabulous, wild
environment.
And that is June 2nd to June5th.
And then we have the EmbodiedQueen Cornwall Retreat.
(27:44):
This is about luxury.
It's about how can we embody ourqueen, our goddess.
And this is something I'm doinga lot of work around at the
minute.
That's the theme of my retreaton Saturday, on Sunday.
My day retreat is Awaken theInner Goddess.
So the Cornwall Retreat isNovember 9th to November 15th.
Um, it's going to be aboutembodiment.
It's going to be about innerchild work.
(28:05):
It's going to be about being agoddamn queen.
It's luxury.
The accommodation is insane.
Uh, again, we're going to dohikes.
We've got a massage.
We've got a wood fired hot tub,a private chef, private chef at
both of them.
Go and check it out.
Please look into my retreats.
It will up level your life somuch.
(28:25):
I have packed the payment plans.
And do you know what?
Do something selfish foryourself.
Honestly, it's not selfish, isit?
That's the thing.
But please, it's been thebiggest upgrade for me is like
investing in things for my ownsanity and my own self care.
So I'm gonna leave it therebecause I'm at the hospital now.
I love you.
Bye.
Bye
Conscious but Grounded is a podcast about
spirituality, high vibe livingin the real world.
I ask questions like, how do weconnect to the magic?
The spirit, the source, theuniverse, but with our feet
firmly planted on the ground.
How do we show up in a consciousway and harness that to make
big, paradigm busting change inthe day to day of our lives?
(00:23):
I'm Rachel Brady, mum of three,yoga teacher and embodiment
coach.
This is the place where I'll bereflecting and exploring big,
deep questions, all with a pinchof self deprecation, a few
proper lols, and a lot of reallife.
Join me.
Good morning, everybody.
(00:44):
Uh, well, it's a morning where Iam.
It's probably not a morningwhere you are.
I'm just about to set off on acar journey, so good day to you,
uh, wherever you are, or goodevening.
Um, I'm setting off on a carjourney.
It's very early in the morning,so it's actually my favourite
time to record, and car journeysand dog walks seem to be my
(01:08):
favourite time to record.
I do like.
multitasking, um, and I think, Iwas talking to someone about it
the other day.
I think that they, that thesetimes get you into a certain
state.
I'm not sure what brain state itis.
(01:28):
But, um, I don't, I don't thinkI'm alone in liking these times
for thinking time.
And I think and process reallydirectly into the phone.
And I think I said this on thelast episode, I love to process
as I create.
So I, I, I do.
I always have an idea about whatI want to talk about or write
(01:49):
about and then, and then itactually ends up being slightly
different sometimes or justtakes shape and I really like
that.
And from a logistical point ofview, it's the only goddamn way
I'm going to get this thingdone.
And it's really important to meto keep going with this project.
Um, yeah, so I'm on my way to anappointment, I'm getting an MRI.
(02:14):
I actually have a I have loadsof MRIs because I have a
pituitary tumor.
It's benign, which I alwaysquickly follow up with because
people look aghast.
Uh, that doesn't mean it doesn'tcome up with that, come with,
out.
It's early.
It's own problems, it does.
Um.
But I am all good.
(02:35):
And this one isn't for that.
It's actually for my lower back.
And I've had this problem for afew years.
I think there's something goingon there.
So I've just thought, Oh, I'mgoing to get an MRI, but I'm
okay.
I'm good.
I'm good.
I'm good.
I'm good.
And I'm having my coffee and Imeditated today.
Oh my gosh.
When I finished this, um,process, I'm only just learning
(02:56):
about fading meditation, butwhen I finished, I'm going to
have to have the teacher on hereand talk to you guys about it.
It's a twice a day meditationtechnique, two 20 minute
sessions a day.
So far so good.
I'm on day three.
Yeah.
(03:17):
I'm going to share more aboutthat when I've kind of.
embodied it more and I'veintegrated it.
So what I wanted to talk abouttoday, not sure really, it
wasn't anything definite, but Ithink, oh great, what a great
intro.
Don't know what I want to talkabout today.
No, what I want to talk abouttoday is do you ever, Do you
(03:39):
ever doubt your spirituality?
Yeah?
So do you ever have a crisis offaith, if you like?
That makes it sound morereligious, but let's not split
hairs here, they are quitesimilar.
Um, and yeah, I definitely havemoments where I am not entirely
(04:05):
sure that I'm not just kiddingmyself and I'm trying to escape
life.
So I think what prompted this asa subject today was I was just
dashing out the house.
I'd meditated.
I'd just quickly got ready.
I was, you know, one coffee downand getting another one to drive
(04:26):
the car with, uh, not that I'mdriving the car with coffee, but
to drink on the way.
That makes sense.
And a friend of mine has aSubstack, Alex actually, she's
been on here and her, the titleof her new Substack came up and
it mentioned spiritualbypassing.
I've not read it yet.
So spiritual.
(04:47):
Bypassing describes where you'regoing through something and
instead of kind of dealing withit in a head on way, maybe
utilizing western medicine or,you know, psychology or healing,
trauma healing or, you know,talking therapies, whatever, a
(05:09):
range of techniques and, youknow, uh, that you just kind of
go, you know, actually thedivine is going to take care of
it and I'm, I'm going to chantand I'm just going to be all
good.
Now.
Now, that's not to say thatchanting and those types of
things don't have a place inthere, in healing.
They absolutely do.
And actually I thinkspirituality can be more healing
(05:32):
than a lot of western medicinethings.
It's so individual though,right?
There was an excellent episodeand I will try and find it and
link to it below.
And I always think, I alwayssay, I'll link to it below and
then never link to things.
So sorry about that.
And comment in the, in thecomment section on any episode
if you like, actually you didsay you linked to something and
you haven't linked to it.
Sorry.
I'll link to this.
(05:53):
And it's an episode of GabbyBernstein and Gabba Mattei talk
about two awesome dudes.
Uh, and they are talking aboutspiritual bypassing for trauma
and it's a fantastic episode.
And she says without thespiritual bypass, sorry, without
(06:14):
the spirituality, she wouldn'thave been able to get to the
more, you know, more 3d, moreregular healing.
And I believe she used internalfamily system.
It is a psychological approachas well.
(06:36):
I've actually had quite a lot ofinternal family systems therapy
myself, so I know quite a lotabout it.
And Gabor Mate says the otherway round for him.
So he says he used the healingtools that were out there first.
and then was able to accessspirituality.
And so they talked about,especially Gavimato, was very
(06:57):
much like, look, it's reallyimportant not to spiritually
bypass trauma.
And I think seeing the mentionof spiritual bypassing, which is
a fantastic subject, and I'mreally trying to be conscious
that I'm not in a spirituallybypassing place with my own Um,
traumas.
I nearly said small traumasthere, but I try not to minimise
(07:18):
things because trauma is traumais trauma, right?
Uh, with my own experiences andtrauma because, and this is
where it ties into the podcast.
Because if we are spirituallybypassing, if we're like I'm
gonna drink cacao to heal thisabuse that's been in my life,
you know, I'm gonna Do yoga andeverything's gonna be all good
(07:41):
because I'm healing my rootchakra and that's where the
abuse is stored.
Like, great.
I love that you're doing that.
But what else are you doing?
Are you seeing a therapist?
Are you supported in your day today life?
You know, uh, have you spoken toyour doctor?
So, so it's like, are you It'sthe spiritual piece on its own
(08:04):
that's not grounded in 3D.
That's where That's spiritualbypassing.
So it's like And I think thisconversation is turning into
more of what is spiritualbypassing, right?
But I will link it back to howthe conversation of, do you ever
just lose faith?
(08:25):
Because I feel like if wespiritually bypass our trauma
and if we spiritually bypass ourexperiences, that I'm just going
to go around and be a purelyspiritual person and kind of not
engage with the world that'sright in front of us.
Then I feel like actually youare at risk of losing your
faith, because what will happenis, the world will just wake you
(08:47):
up and slap you around the faceone day and go, you are
spiritually bypassing.
And then you'll be like, yeah,fuck spirituality, it's, it's
got me in denial of what'shappening.
Where the real beauty lies iswith both.
Right?
So it's like, it's like It'slike today.
Let's use today as an example.
(09:08):
Perfect example.
That is perfect.
It's almost like I planned itand I didn't.
I don't do things like that.
Um, so I'm going for an MRI,right?
Normally it's for my brainsituation, which is a pituitary
tumour.
And I can also tie this into theback problem I'm having.
So, there's a big spiritualbelief system around tumours.
(09:28):
and any illness and dis ease inthe body having a spiritual
cause.
Okay?
So, pituitary tumours are seenas, you could argue, you know,
in the work of Donna Hay andnumerous other practitioners
that I actually love, but I justdon't put all my eggs in that
basket.
So, they would say a pituitarytumour is caused by, or could be
(09:54):
caused by, third eye chakrablockage.
And it could be caused by adisconnection to the divine and
a suppression of what isspiritual and what you know to
be true.
Um, and, and a suppression ofthe third Irish chara also could
mean that you aren't using yourintuition spiritual or
(10:16):
otherwise.
Yeah.
So it's, it could be said that,oh, if you went to a purely
spiritual practitioner and said,what is causing my pituitary
tumor or what is causing thepain in my lower back?
They could say, this is a sacralchakra issue, you have
suppressed sexuality, or youhave other sacral chakra issues.
(10:38):
You don't go with the flow,you're being too controlling.
Let's let this person through.
Um, and I don't dismiss thateither.
You know, when someone says tome, Oh my god, my hips are
terrible, I've got really badhips.
I'm like, I just immediatelythink, Socal Chakra issues.
But does that mean that Ientirely treat it in that way?
(11:00):
So I went down this route withmy pituitary tumour and it
wasn't wrong and it wasn'tright.
It was just me exploring.
And I was like, I am going tocome off the medication because
it's very heavy medication.
What am I even on this for?
I was thinking what am I even onthis for?
I don't need to get pregnantanymore, which was the original
reason why I took it because it,um, balanced out my
(11:24):
overproduction of prolactin,which was causing my ovulations
to not occur.
So I was like, what am I even onthis medication?
Is it keeping the tumour sizedown?
And I really just got sick ofthe fact that I was taking pills
every day for what I thoughtcould be seen as a spiritual
(11:45):
problem.
And so I spoke to my Reikimaster, who actually is coming
on here, and she's the mostbrilliant woman.
Um, and we discussed it, andshe, and a good spiritual
practitioner will never tell youeither way.
(12:05):
Never.
They'll just say, it's greatthat you're exploring this, or
whatever, you know, keep leaninginto your intuition, keep
exploring, and they'll do somehealing work on you.
Um, and I do believe that havingReiki, and I need to have some
more Reiki, um, will help myPituitary Tumor and I do believe
(12:30):
having healing and doing yogawhich releases the stiffness
around my sacral chakra and youknow doing work around my third
eye will help these maladies,these physical maladies that I
have.
However, if I got breast cancertomorrow, would I treat it
(12:51):
entirely with spiritual tools?
No, I bloody wouldn't! I've gotthree children and I would
absolutely.
Go down a western medicinehealing route.
I think sometimes it, it islike, okay, let's look at both
sides here.
It's like depression, right?
Let's heal this.
Let's look at what is causingthis in a spiritual way and in a
(13:12):
very 3D way.
Like you can do both.
And I think if you're notcareful, spiritual bypassing in
that physical mode, in thatphysical sense can be dangerous,
but also in a trauma sense canbe really dangerous.
And tying it into what I wasoriginally supposed to talk.
about losing faith.
I think it can be a major causeof people losing faith.
(13:35):
It's like when you put yourfaith into something entirely,
that it's going to work.
Let's take hypnobirthing for anexample.
My friend put her faith entirelyinto hypnobirthing and then had
a baby and it hurt like hell andshe was really traumatized and
she was so angry withhypnobirthing and she lost all
faith in it.
She was like, fuckhypnobirthing.
(13:55):
I'm really angry with them.
I had the people that practicethat and now you don't really.
I have to throw the baby out ofthe bathwater.
I hate that phrase, but I alwayshave to say it.
Um, you know, hypnobirthing hasso many fantastic elements to it
and I use some of them myselfand I've done the hypnobirthing
course twice.
(14:16):
Did it take away pain in mylabor?
No, no, no it didn't.
They were really hideous.
It hurt so much.
Um, and then there's a problemthere that we think, oh, perhaps
it's me, perhaps I'm doing itwrong.
And so you, you fix, you kind ofcreate a victim situation out of
it and, and you blame yourself.
Um, so you've got trademarksand, and you're on the
electronic sandbox and you gothalf You've got this wheel of
faith in yourself and thatdoesn't help anyone or anything.
So you're going to lose yourfaith in the tool.
(14:39):
But here's the thing, we, weincarnated on this earth right
now and so what my practitioner,my Reiki master would say is
like, and what other people inmy life that are really valued
what they say is like Reiki andspirituality will lead you to
the right solution and if that'smedication, it's medication.
(15:02):
Everything comes from the earth,everything comes from
spirituality, includingmedication, including healing.
Should we rely less on thosethings and more, or should it be
more of a balance?
Absolutely! Like, I love thatthey're using sound healing in
hospital wards and havingincredible results.
I love that they have Reiki inhospitals.
(15:25):
You know, there can be both.
There can be both.
And like all good spirituality,you know, well, I don't want to
be polarising good or badspirituality, but like all, you
know, what I think of as likecommon sense spirituality.
So, what we will say is like themiddle line is often the best,
like walk the middle path.
Like I often say to my son,like, it's, I try to steer away
(15:48):
from anything that's likeunilaterally this or
unilaterally that, or like verypolarizing views because life
just ain't like that.
Like we live in the gray, right?
And so do you ever lose faith?
Well, sometimes I think, God, amI really doing this?
(16:10):
And I've spoke to my Reikimaster again about this and
we'll have a chat.
I her about this, because when Iwas first getting Reikia tuned,
I was like, whoa, what are wedoing right now?
Um, and she was like,absolutely.
She was like her, she wastelling me that her master has
had moments years away from itand gone like, I've been this
down for a bit, but you comeback to it because it's your
(16:32):
truth.
And ultimately I feel like ithappens more the other way
around.
I think people forget theirfaith and people lose their
faith because they get toowrapped up in it.
Up in the reti, the drama oflife, they walk down the street
forgetting that they are on aspinning orb.
(16:53):
You know that that's like partof a, you know, infinite
universe and that we are made ofstardust.
We forget that.
And I think when we come back tothe consciousness of our magic
and the awareness of who wereally are and what we really
are, and then blend that withthe reality of being on planet
(17:15):
Earth and putting one foot infront of.
Other onto solid ground andembracing what's in front of us
and really living the life thatwe've been gifted this, this
life that we've been gifted,then that's where the kind of
sweet spot is.
Um, and don't get me wrong, likepeople lose faith because they
go through horrendous things,and that would probably happen
(17:36):
to me too.
Ironically, what would alsoprobably happen is the first
thing you'd do is pray.
So it's like if one of your kidsgot sick and touch wood, that's
not gonna happen.
I even hate speaking things likethat.
So say something happens, uh,and, and the thing hasn't fully
(17:57):
happened yet, but it's almostthreatening to happen.
That's when we pray, right?
We want hope.
We want hope.
You know, non believers pray onaeroplanes during turbulent
times, right?
But then it's like when thething happens, that's when we,
that's when we lose hope.
And that's when we lose faith,rather.
And so it's like, I asked forhelp and you didn't give it to
(18:18):
me.
And now I'm shutting you down.
And so that's what happens.
I'm guessing, it's not happenedto me, but I, and I completely
understand why.
And the reason for that isbecause we don't know what the
greater plan is.
And, and to even say that kindof hurts my head and my heart.
Because I'm never going to bethe person that says to somebody
(18:41):
who's something really bad hashappened to, Oh, it's part of
the greater plan, you know?
Um, because If somebody saidthat to you when something
really bad happened to you,you'd want to kill them.
Um, and no one wants to hearthat, right?
But that's why people lose faithbecause really devastating
(19:04):
things, devastating, awful, darkthings happen all the time.
Uh, and then we're like, howcould you do this?
How could this be part of somekind of plan?
It's fucked up and I'm out.
And so that has never happenedto me.
But boy, if something like thatdid happen to me, I probably
would.
And I would just.
I'm just a completely averagehuman and I would probably lose
(19:25):
faith too.
And you see these amazing peoplethat are like, it's only my
faith that's pulled me throughthis.
And I'm like, wow, now you havebeen tested and that is really,
really amazing that you stillhave faith.
So I'm just a very flawed, justlike very average human going
(19:45):
through life.
Um, and, and I'm very privilegedand I, I feel guilty almost
every day because my life isrelative.
Easy and simple.
And when I get really stressedand overwhelmed about little
things, I have to check myselfand go, and then you put the
news on and you kind of go,fuck.
Like we're really lucky and Iwant to talk about that
(20:06):
actually,'cause that relates.
So my son has been having somedeep and heavy and kind of quite
stressful conversations with merecently about things and he.
He accuses me regularly of like,you don't know what's going on
in the world.
And I haven't really explainedto him properly that I made a
conscious choice to do that afew years ago.
To step back from the drama ofthe world, but I actually feel
(20:26):
like I've done that too much.
And so now I'm trying to lean inmore to what's happening in the
world.
Because I feel like I've beenignorant, actually.
And so, there's a word, there'sa term, I've forgotten it now,
for being spiritually ignorant.
But actually, you can be 3Dignorant too, and that is
spiritual bypassing, also.
(20:47):
And so, it's important, there'sa lot of spiritual people that
don't want to ever watch thenews, and they do that in a
conscious way, and I understandwhy.
They don't want their vibrationto be lowered by this mainstream
media spinning carousel of badnews that they put out there to
make you feel bad, tosensationalize how bad the world
(21:09):
is when it isn't.
It's not a correct, it's not acorrect image of the world.
It is, it's not that thoseindividual things aren't
happening, they are, but it's,if you watch that you'd be like,
fuck this shit, this planet'sfucked, it's so bad, it's, it's
awful.
That's not true.
Like they don't balance it witha, with a, with a view of all
the amazing things that happenin the world, the beautiful
(21:30):
stories, the miracles.
Um, and so that's why a lot of.
If spiritual people are like,I'm not going to watch the
mainstream media because it'sgoing to, um, infect me with bad
news and give me an incorrectperception, but by doing that
and never knowing what's goingon at all, you're kind of
spiritually bypassing theexperience of being a human.
(21:52):
Um, and if you do that, you areat risk of eventually going full
circle and realizing.
You've become ungrounded in yourspirituality and actually
shutting it down.
So there's a few things therethat we've kind of talked about
and they're all coming atdifferent angles.
Yeah, so I wanted to know, haveyou ever lost your spirituality
(22:14):
and what caused it?
And do you ever just have likelittle niggles and little
doubts?
Because I definitely do.
I'm like, what, why am I, yeah,I'm like, why am I doing this?
And then I'll look at a degree.
at university and be like, okay,what, how can I be most helpful
in this 3D world?
And then I'll be like, I don'tthink I can go back to uni and
(22:38):
do a master's in psychology orwhatever it was that I was about
to do last year.
I nearly did a, I got a placeand I nearly started, it was
coming up to the starting pointand I was like, fuck, there's,
I've got major doubts here andit's because I know if I go into
that academic environment.
They won't have a balancedapproach to things in terms of
(22:58):
holistic, in terms of spiritual,in terms of the whole, the whole
person approach.
To me that includesspirituality.
It's very much around rational,rigorously scientific, you know,
measurement.
Um, and, and, and I'm not reallyinto that.
Uh, I am into that, but not whenit's all that you're doing.
(23:20):
And so I, and I know peoplewho've had that experience, I
know.
Massive practitioners, like, Idon't know them personally, but
people who've walked away fromacademia, people who've walked
away from psychology andmedicine and things like that
for that exact reason.
Uh, and so they get caught up inthe power structures.
That include things like BigPharma, and so on and so on.
(23:43):
Um, and so I'm really going off,I've gone off on so many
different thought tangents, butI guess that's just what I do.
Um, yeah, so it's very easy tolose your faith, right?
It's very easy to lose yourspirituality.
And I think, ironically, whatkeeps us grounded in
spirituality, and things likethat, is real life.
(24:03):
And Gabby Bernstein talks aboutthis a lot, it's like, don't
stop showing up in your reallife.
Don't save your spirituality.
Take it into the office and be areally good person when someone
else is an asshole.
Like, try and really live youryoga, live your spirituality.
And so that's what I'm reallypassionate about when I teach
(24:24):
yoga and I'm trying to do moreof it in my classes.
And I've really, really nailedthat this week.
I started my new block of yogateaching and I'm teaching in a
different way.
I have a 15 minute check in withpeople that come to build
connection that is real, that is3D, that is like, we are here,
we are humans having a humanexperience, how are you doing?
And then I also talk about theeight limb path and then I also
(24:48):
We try and touch on a part ofevery single part of the eight
limb path.
So we talk about the yamas andthe amas.
So ahimsa, non harming.
And I'm like, how can we bringnon harming into our lives?
Right?
And so then for the rest of theday, when I'm an asshole, when
I'm like being like, uh, withthe kids, I'm like, wait,
ahimsa, ahimsa.
And so it really helps.
(25:10):
Like, it's all right saying I'ma spiritual person.
You know, watch the bloodyBikram Yoga documentary on
Netflix, he was, I mean, he's adangerous, dangerous man.
Yet he is leading this worldwidemovement in yoga.
Um, there's a lot of charlatansout there and I think a lot of
(25:32):
the most spiritual people arejust good people that are
walking around in the worldbeing good with humble jobs and
they haven't got a podcast andthey haven't got, you know, they
haven't, they don't, they're notperformative, they're just doing
their thing and so it's reallyimportant to remember that.
Real anchored spirituality isprobably quite quiet and it
(25:55):
probably doesn't look forreward, right?
And so I'll leave it therebecause I am approaching my, uh,
place where I'm gonna get thisMRI.
Wish me luck! And, uh, yeah,hopefully the next episode will
be a recording of a chat thatI'm gonna have with my Reiki
master.
I cannot wait for you to meether.
(26:16):
She's one of my spiritualteachers and she's just
adorable.
And, uh, yeah, Very, veryanchored and literally the
perfect example of beingconscious but grounded.
And I have a lot to learn fromher.
And so, uh, look out for thatepisode.
Okay, love, uh, come follow meat Rachel Brady yoga on
(26:39):
Instagram.
Oh, I never, I didn't mention myupcoming things.
Like I say, I've got, um, yogagoing on at the minute.
I was doing well.
I'm still doing block booking,but I know that people might
wanna join mid sessions.
So drop-ins are available for 10pounds.
And that's online and in person.
And the other thing is my dayretreats.
(26:59):
There's one coming up thisSunday.
Um, however, you might belistening to this six months
down the line.
I always have them runningthough.
I'm going to do four a year,seasonal day retreats.
I also have two residentialretreats running.
One is in Edale, right next towhere I live.
That's called the WildConnection Retreat.
It's going to be amazing.
I might do a separate episodejust about the retreats and kind
(27:21):
of what I've gained fromretreats.
Uh, and that is It's abouthiking, yoga, it's about, like,
finding cool, kick ass, soberbesties, sober friends,
connection with other soberwomen in a fabulous, wild
environment.
And that is June 2nd to June5th.
And then we have the EmbodiedQueen Cornwall Retreat.
(27:44):
This is about luxury.
It's about how can we embody ourqueen, our goddess.
And this is something I'm doinga lot of work around at the
minute.
That's the theme of my retreaton Saturday, on Sunday.
My day retreat is Awaken theInner Goddess.
So the Cornwall Retreat isNovember 9th to November 15th.
Um, it's going to be aboutembodiment.
It's going to be about innerchild work.
(28:05):
It's going to be about being agoddamn queen.
It's luxury.
The accommodation is insane.
Uh, again, we're going to dohikes.
We've got a massage.
We've got a wood fired hot tub,a private chef, private chef at
both of them.
Go and check it out.
Please look into my retreats.
It will up level your life somuch.
(28:25):
I have packed the payment plans.
And do you know what?
Do something selfish foryourself.
Honestly, it's not selfish, isit?
That's the thing.
But please, it's been thebiggest upgrade for me is like
investing in things for my ownsanity and my own self care.
So I'm gonna leave it therebecause I'm at the hospital now.
I love you.
Bye.
Bye
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