March 12, 2025 • 23 mins
Today I am weaving together my journey in un-becoming. My quitting booze, my discovery that I was ADHD and maybe even Autistic. In midlife we all seem to be in a place of un-becoming. Let's talk about it...
I really hope you enjoy, relate - or that it provokes some food for thought?! Please leave me a review as it makes a big difference! Thanks so much.
Links:
Hey! I'm Rachel! I am a qualified Holistic Life Coach and Mind Body Practitioner, Embodiment Coach, Yoga 500hrs (plus lots more extra yoga quals). I'm also an award winning content creator and have 20 years' experience in digital. I'm a mum of 3 kids and I live in the Peak District - oh and I have ADHD and I am sober. My passion is helping midlife women turn meltdown into magic!
Offerings:
My luxury retreat for midlife women! (free workshop in the pop up too)
Book a coaching taster spot with me half price
Goddess Codes Chakra Masterclass (GODDESS7 to get for £7)
Find me here:
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Rachel Brady's video (00:01):
Conscious but Grounded is a podcast about
spirituality, high vibe livingin the real world.
I ask questions like, how do weconnect to the magic?
The spirit, the source, theuniverse, but with our feet
firmly planted on the ground.
How do we show up in a consciousway and harness that to make
big, paradigm busting change inthe day to day of our lives?
(00:23):
I'm Rachel Brady, mum of three,yoga teacher and embodiment
coach.
This is the place where I'll bereflecting and exploring big,
deep questions, all with a pinchof self deprecation, a few
proper lols, and a lot of reallife.
Join me.
Hi everybody.
Welcome back to ConsciouslyGrounded.
Not recorded for a while.
It feels like ages, but ithasn't been that long.
(00:47):
Um, I've got, uh, I think Irecorded like a week ago, but
because I've been doing quite alot, it feels like if I don't
stay in regular contact with it,it can kind of, it could drift
away.
But, um, it's just becoming thisreally lovely place where I can
just express myself and, um, Um,and kind of share what I'm going
(01:12):
through and what's going on inmy spiritual journey in the hope
and in the belief that it willresonate with others.
And oh my gosh, it's just like,what never fails to amaze me is
how your spiritual journey justnever stops being exciting,
never stops growing andchanging.
(01:34):
And I love that like the moreyou let go.
And the more you surrender, andthe more you soften, and the
more you stop doing, that, like,so much more comes through.
Uh, so I was at a family funeralat the weekend.
It was a two day event.
It was in Ireland.
(01:55):
And so they do things reallydifferently there to England.
Um, I won't go into detailsbecause it's so personal.
Just suffice to say, it was likea really Big event, a huge, in
every sense, like hugelyemotional.
A huge person has passed on tothe other side.
(02:18):
Um, and just like learnt so muchfrom going about myself.
Learned so much from beingamongst people.
Had so many thoughts andrealisations about what's
important in life.
I really came away with afeeling of like, first of all,
(02:39):
just the toll it took on me interms of, uh, going to a huge
event and not relying on alcoholto get through it.
Like it really made me realizelike, wow, like about myself,
which sounds really selfish, butthat was just how it, how it
unfolded.
But as well as that.
And, and more important thanthat, um, it kind of made me go,
(03:01):
God, like, this person lived areally, really fantastic life
and like, what a legacy thatperson left.
And um, just like how the mostimportant thing in life is to
touch other people's lives.
And there's so many ways to dothat, isn't there?
(03:22):
Like, you can raise a family.
And that was one of my biggesttakeaways.
It was like, what an amazingfamily and wow.
Like, if I can do, you know, aquarter as good as that, then
I'll be like killing it, youknow.
I thought it was a poor choiceof word.
(03:42):
Um, so yeah, um, so just, just alot of takeaways from, from
that.
And, uh, yeah, like I say, justabout my own, uh, Like needs and
kind of limitations orstruggles, if you like,
energetically in, in big crowdsof people like that.
But it was also so amazing toconnect with those parts of
(04:05):
myself that are, that my, youknow, my heritage and my
lineage, if you like.
Um, so it's been emotional.
It has.
And I came away with a bit of acold and I think now everyone,
It's got this cold.
Um, I feel like I've had it forages, but so I've been really
like down physically.
(04:25):
I actually couldn't teach inperson on Monday.
I couldn't.
I was like, I don't think I canteach today.
Uh, so that was a huge learningabout how do I create a
business?
I actually, I've written a blogpost, but I've not finished it
yet.
A sub stack called somethinglike, how do I create a yoga
business that I Can actuallyshow up for.
(04:46):
Um, because even though, like Isay, I've got a bit of a cold, I
think the overwhelming thingthat I realised when I came back
was I really have a limitedaccess to energy.
And I, you know, call itneurodiversity, call it being a
projector in human design,whatever.
It doesn't matter the lens atwhich you want to look through
(05:09):
it.
You know, call it perimenopause,call it all of those things.
I'm also in the luteal phase ofmy cycle, so it's like, all the
struggles.
Like going on a dog walk, I'm ona different route now, but you
know, I'm struggling to walk upthe hill.
And so, how do we honourourselves and fulfil our
(05:31):
purpose?
And I guess What I wanted totalk about today was like, this
word authenticity gets bandiedaround a lot, especially with
spiritual creators and coachesand like, be your most authentic
self.
You know, I'm really wary havingspoken to people that aren't on
this path that like thatactually doesn't really mean
much to people.
(05:51):
And so I thought that was a goodsubject to talk about.
Because the, the enormity of theweekend and the toll, I mean, it
sounds ludicrous.
The toll is for condominium.
What about the toll is forcondominium family?
Obviously.
So please excuse me for that.
What I mean is, how do you showup in your It got me thinking,
(06:11):
you know, how do I show up in mybusiness and still live a life,
you know?
And, um, it's really made medrill down even further on How
am I going to run this businessin a way that's authentic to me?
Um, so I, I've always known thatI can do limited amount of, um,
(06:33):
in person stuff.
It really is gonna have to belimited.
And, oh, I've just left one ofthe dogs behind and he's stood
at the gate thinking, Mommy, letme in.
Okay, come on then.
Um, and so this has got methinking massively.
(06:54):
And my coach, I'm having her onthe podcast really soon.
She's incredible.
My coach.
I hope you can hear me becausethe wind is blowing.
My coach has always said to me,How do you feel when you think
about doing in person stuff?
And I'm like, I don't know.
Like, I kind of don't want to,but I kind of feel like I ought
(07:14):
to.
And she's always like, no,there's no ought, there's no
should.
She's like, passionate.
Her whole business ispassionate.
built around helpingentrepreneurs be their most
authentic self.
And she bases that around humandesign.
She's not someone who talksabout neurodiversity or anything
like that.
But for me, kind of like thesame thing, really.
(07:35):
They're not the same, butthey're the same.
It's like whichever school ofthought, or if you're an
Enneagram fan, honestly, itreally, I'm starting to think
nowadays, it really doesn'tmatter.
If you want to do an enneagram,if you, uh, totally believe that
you are ADHD but you don't seethe point in diagnosis, you
know, had a very interestingmeeting at Sober Mom Squad
(07:58):
yesterday where we were talkingabout They're the meetings that
I go to for my sobriety, by theway, um, you know, we were all
talking about this thing about,you know, becoming who we really
are once we stop drinking.
And it's so intertwined for mewith neurodiversity, with
honoring myself, my energies.
(08:21):
Who I really am.
Because I used alcohol to get methrough situations.
Not because I'm shy.
Like it's really hard for peopleto understand.
Because I'm like the mosttalkative person.
I'm not shy.
I, I, I can't explain it.
(08:41):
It's why I couldn't go toschool.
It's why I struggled to go touniversity.
It's why I used to have such badanxiety.
I would just blush and sweat.
I'm not shy though.
I'm just like this incrediblysensitive person, um, and, and
it takes so much out of me whenI'm in a room and there's lots
of other people there.
(09:01):
And whether you want to callthat a highly sensitive person,
whether one day I end up gettingan autism diagnosis, I'm still
serious on the fence about itstill.
Do I need one?
I don't know.
Um, you know, it's part of who Iam and it always has been.
(09:21):
Uh, and what happens is theolder you get and the more you
mask, and don't get me wrong,when I mask, when I'm masking,
I'm not acting, I'm still me,it's just putting so much effort
into being that version of me.
We went to a comedy gig recentlyand I was so exhausted because I
(09:42):
was laughing and smiling thewhole way through and some, some
of those laughs were totally,obviously genuine, but a lot of
the time I was smiling just incase they'd come, they'd come.
The comedian looked at me anddidn't, you know, I wanted them
to feel supported.
Honestly, it's exhausting.
And like I was, I'm readingUnmasking Autism by Devon Price.
(10:05):
Oh my God.
It's helping me so much.
I'm just like, when I read thatbook, I'm just like, Oh God.
Yeah.
Like this is me.
But then when I come into thereal world.
I just feel like we are nowunderstanding that there's just
these different levels ofneurodiversity and it ain't that
diverse.
(10:25):
Anyway, I've digressedenormously.
Um, So I love going to my Mondayclass where I teach in person.
It's so small, at the minuteonly two people are coming.
I'm not afraid to share thatwith you, it doesn't mean that
I'm a bad teacher, I'm a goodteacher.
I live in a small rural area.
I've only just started.
I guess I don't promote itenough.
Um, I love teaching in person.
(10:48):
I love that energetic exchange,but you know, I do these
seasonal day retreats.
I love them.
I love them and they're reallypopular and I feel like the
universe.
will populate the things thatare right for you and will not
populate the things that aren'tright for you.
So it's like, listen to theuniverse.
(11:09):
I guess you could argue that'smeaning making, but I think
meaning making about what'sworking or what isn't is
different to attaching a meaningabout yourself to the outcome.
Like, Oh God, this clearly meansI'm like the best person ever.
Or Oh God, this means I'm shit.
You know, it's like, okay.
I'm here in your universe.
(11:30):
People are coming to my dayretreat.
Maybe that's my sweet spot forwhen I'm in person with people
because I do think there'ssomething beautiful about being
in the room with people.
So it's like how And by the way,I'm talking about my situation
here.
Please reflect back on yoursituation.
What situations are drainingyou?
(11:50):
What situations are energisingyou?
What do you need?
To stay sober, if it's the samefor you.
What do you need to be agrounded yet spiritual, yet kind
of present, you know, your bestself, for want of a better
phrase.
I hate that phrase, like,hashtag your best self, but you
(12:11):
know, your best self.
What do you need in your career?
And by career I include fulltime parenting, by the way.
We're all full time parents, butyou know what I mean.
Stay home parent, whatever youwant to say.
That's a freaking career.
And I've also realized comingaway from this family loss, this
(12:31):
family funeral, like shit, thatpart's so important.
And I realize when I come backfrom my work or when I'm like in
hyperactive, like Oh my God, onmy laptop all the time flow, you
know, to a person, if I'm inthat state.
Um, then.
(12:57):
It really isn't great for myfamily and I'm really
dysregulated.
Hang on one second.
I need to help my dog get overhis style.
Bear with us.
He's good.
He's over.
He's very good.
I'm that's very naughty takinghim on a walk with a star.
He's actually got a bit ofarthritis in his elbow and we
don't normally take him on thisroute, but we all get bored of
(13:17):
the other route.
Following the breadcrumbs asthis kind of episode is about.
It's like, how do we follow thebreadcrumbs?
How do we listen?
We listen, right?
So I'm over two weeks into mytwice a day Vedic meditation
experience, which hopefully willbe a forever experience.
(13:38):
It will be.
Um, I've not skipped a day.
I've nearly forgot a couple oftimes.
Um, And I feel like that's beena huge part of this too.
That's been a huge part of justlike lifting all of the It's
like lifting all of the crap outof your head.
So you know what's true.
(13:59):
I've never felt more grounded inmy own body.
Like, I'm not a perfect personby any means.
I can still be an asshole.
I have been an asshole a coupleof times this week.
Um, I just feel like, I'm just,you know how I just, I just
exhaled then.
That's kind of how I feel at theminute.
(14:20):
I'm just like anchored down intomy body.
Doing loads of root chakra work.
Coming out on the walk now withno headphones.
Although I'm doing this, this isquite grounding for me.
It's like, how on earth am Igoing to create a business that
doesn't burn me out?
Making decisions around, okay,so if I'm going to do a retreat,
(14:44):
then I need to work out that Ihave X amount of hours on and X
amount of hours off.
Because I will collapse.
And I know it's hard for people.
And in this society where we'reprogrammed to all be the same
and all be productive all of thetime, It's hard because even as
I'm saying that I'm like, Ohgosh, people, I'm worried people
(15:06):
might think I'm being lazy orIt's like, that's just how I'm
built.
And I could go to the doctor andthey could give me a diagnosis
of chronic fatigue or somethinglike that.
I just know that that's how I'mbuilt at this time.
Um, and also working with mycycles.
I'm like now thinking, oh God,is it worth looking at my
calendar to see where I'll be inmy cycle for these retreats?
(15:28):
There's not really much pointbecause I come on my period
between 21 and 24 days and so Iwon't get it right.
There's no point.
Um, My last day of retreat, Iwas in the perfect phase.
Thank you, universe.
And I was good, but I came homeand I was done.
I just collapsed on the sofa.
(15:48):
Uh, eating the remnants of thechocolate cookies.
watching trashy tv that's whati'm spent and i know as time
goes on i will be able toprotect my energy more that
comes as with practice also asmy husband said he's always the
3d the you know the common sensethe Kind of, more traditional,
(16:11):
you know, explanation thing.
The man view, uh, he's like,yeah, well, as also, as you get
used to doing it, you just won'tbe as tired by it.
Which is totally true, ofcourse.
But I'll always be me.
And I'll always be Um Someonewho needs a lot of like nervous
system breaks, and someone whohas to, had to historically
(16:34):
medicate herself to be aroundlots of people.
Uh, and so how do I show up formy work?
How do I show up for me?
I can see as well that althoughI think it's a hyper focus right
now, I can see thatneurodiversity is going to
become part of my work in someway.
How do I really honor myself?
(16:55):
Like, The more I speak topeople, the more I realize,
like, I don't normally associatemyself to be, or identify as an
activist kind of person.
I feel quite activist when Italk about, um, neurodiversity.
I was really snappy with I gotquite heated with, um, my
husband actually yesterdayaround conversations around
(17:16):
neurodiversity because, becauseI'm reading this book and
because I'm loving it andbecause I'm realizing how much
we have to all set ourselves onfire to keep each other's, other
people warm.
You know, I heard that onInstagram the other day and it
was like, talking aboutboundaries, right?
It was like, I won't set myselfon fire to keep you warm.
(17:38):
But that's what we do all thetime as neurodiverse people.
But neurotypicals don't knowthat, bless them.
They don't realise, they're notasking us to do that.
But we're making ourselves dothat.
So I'm trying to practise.
Okay, I'm exhausted, I need toleave.
I don't need to go round and saybye to everybody.
I'm just gonna sneak out.
I did that at the weekend.
(17:59):
Felt awful, felt terrible, firsttime I've ever done it.
I would have historically forcedmyself to stay there, and drunk
alcohol to give myself energy tostay there and to drown out the
noise.
Um, you would never know thisabout me, and it surprises
people.
Um.
(18:20):
How do I be my authentic self inthis life, in this business?
How do I honour myself?
I'm so bothered all the time bywhat people think.
In the book I'm reading, theUnmasking Autism book, it's
talking about this kind ofextreme level of people
pleasing, where you prioritiseother people's comfort over your
(18:41):
own.
That's like Yeah, I mean, I'vereally begun the process of not
doing that a few years ago, butit's very hard.
And now I realise that I'mprobably on another layer of
unmasking, then it's like, God,that's hard work.
That's really hard.
Like, if I disagree withsomebody saying so, if I need
(19:03):
something speaking up, even ifit sounds weird or awkward,
like, that's a work in progress.
So when we talk about being ourauthentic self in spirituality,
for me, this is what it's about.
And the word undercoming keepscoming through.
And I think there's going to bea future offering that I've
daffodil.
Um, you know, and I feel likemidlife is such a window for
(19:26):
unbecoming.
Whether you've got alcohol,whether you realise you're
neurodivergent, whether you'rehaving a divorce, whether you're
changing careers, whetheryou're, you know, realising all
these other huge life things itcould be.
Maybe it's all of those.
Maybe it's like three of those,right?
Like, I feel like we're justunbecoming.
And it is very unbecomingsometimes.
(19:47):
It's seen as unbecoming to askfor what you want.
Because women are trained andwomen are taught to stay quiet,
to stay small, to be polite, toserve, serve, serve.
And I think you can be inservice of others in a way when
you actually advocate foryourself.
Like, it's the most selflessthing of all.
(20:08):
I heard Liz Gilbert on Instagramyesterday saying, you know, she
was in a 12 step meeting andsomebody was like, the most
selfless thing I can do is lookafter myself, because if I don't
look after myself, I will berelying on others to keep me
well.
Do you know what I mean?
And it would be like, it's It'slike you make bad choices then
(20:30):
they have to pick up the piecesand then it's like the most
selfless thing I can do Is restthis afternoon for two hours.
The most selfless thing I can doIs to cancel that appointment or
that class or something that'sjust gonna drain me or that
social event Because if I go andI drink And I F up my sobriety,
(20:52):
you know, giving you theseexamples.
On surface level, you're goingto upset somebody.
You are.
You're going to let someonedown.
But on a deeper level, you needthese things for you.
You need to say no.
That's where the growth is.
It's like, no, I'm not coming tothat.
Event, you know, no, I'm notcoming then or how can I attend
(21:12):
but like make myself safe likeI'm actually going to come and
I'm going to just go for themeal or for an hour or something
like that and it's like the samein my business.
How can I make sure I have inreal life connections with my
beloved small community ofcustomers and clients and
friends.
And actually have, you knowwhat, more one on one time with
(21:35):
them.
That's actually what I'mcraving.
And so it's like, okay, maybenow is the time to start
offering Reiki.
Okay, maybe now is the time tostart offering tarot readings,
which I'm doing at the minute,for my community.
Because they purchased, um, Oneof the day retreats and I am
absolutely loving it and I'mdoing the tarot readings But I'm
doing them in a way that servesme.
(21:57):
So I Sit at home and I channeland I do the reading and then I
deliver it by a voice note butwe have this intimate connection
even though it's over whatsappand it's not in person, but if
it was You know offeringdifferent things in my business
and having the same thing inyour life So what parts of your
life could you be like, ah, thisis where I'll get the in person
(22:17):
connection This is how I canreally nourish myself after I've
been with other people if that'straining me Literally, just, if
you keep purifying and if youkeep cutting out all the things
that don't serve you, whichreally that is the process of
yoga, by the way, I was sayingthat in my yoga class yesterday,
yoga is all about purificationof the mind, body and soul,
meditating, moving your body.
(22:40):
And then the yamas are all abouthow we treat others and how we
treat ourselves, like keeping itpure, keeping it clean.
And in 12 step recovery, theysay, keep your side of the
street clean.
Like, keep your hands clean.
Yeah, you keep clarifying, youkeep clarifying, you keep
refining, you keep purifying.
And then the truth comes down.
You're in a knowing.
(23:02):
And then, that's how you liveyour most authentic life.
How do I show up as the bestversion of me?
So I hope that some of thatlanded with you and resonated
with you.
Please leave a comment, pleaseleave a rating.
Reach out to me at hello atbriefbrainyyoga.
com That's all for now.
(23:22):
Love you, bye!
Conscious but Grounded is a podcast about
spirituality, high vibe livingin the real world.
I ask questions like, how do weconnect to the magic?
The spirit, the source, theuniverse, but with our feet
firmly planted on the ground.
How do we show up in a consciousway and harness that to make
big, paradigm busting change inthe day to day of our lives?
(00:23):
I'm Rachel Brady, mum of three,yoga teacher and embodiment
coach.
This is the place where I'll bereflecting and exploring big,
deep questions, all with a pinchof self deprecation, a few
proper lols, and a lot of reallife.
Join me.
Hi everybody.
Welcome back to ConsciouslyGrounded.
Not recorded for a while.
It feels like ages, but ithasn't been that long.
(00:47):
Um, I've got, uh, I think Irecorded like a week ago, but
because I've been doing quite alot, it feels like if I don't
stay in regular contact with it,it can kind of, it could drift
away.
But, um, it's just becoming thisreally lovely place where I can
just express myself and, um, Um,and kind of share what I'm going
(01:12):
through and what's going on inmy spiritual journey in the hope
and in the belief that it willresonate with others.
And oh my gosh, it's just like,what never fails to amaze me is
how your spiritual journey justnever stops being exciting,
never stops growing andchanging.
(01:34):
And I love that like the moreyou let go.
And the more you surrender, andthe more you soften, and the
more you stop doing, that, like,so much more comes through.
Uh, so I was at a family funeralat the weekend.
It was a two day event.
It was in Ireland.
(01:55):
And so they do things reallydifferently there to England.
Um, I won't go into detailsbecause it's so personal.
Just suffice to say, it was likea really Big event, a huge, in
every sense, like hugelyemotional.
A huge person has passed on tothe other side.
(02:18):
Um, and just like learnt so muchfrom going about myself.
Learned so much from beingamongst people.
Had so many thoughts andrealisations about what's
important in life.
I really came away with afeeling of like, first of all,
(02:39):
just the toll it took on me interms of, uh, going to a huge
event and not relying on alcoholto get through it.
Like it really made me realizelike, wow, like about myself,
which sounds really selfish, butthat was just how it, how it
unfolded.
But as well as that.
And, and more important thanthat, um, it kind of made me go,
(03:01):
God, like, this person lived areally, really fantastic life
and like, what a legacy thatperson left.
And um, just like how the mostimportant thing in life is to
touch other people's lives.
And there's so many ways to dothat, isn't there?
(03:22):
Like, you can raise a family.
And that was one of my biggesttakeaways.
It was like, what an amazingfamily and wow.
Like, if I can do, you know, aquarter as good as that, then
I'll be like killing it, youknow.
I thought it was a poor choiceof word.
(03:42):
Um, so yeah, um, so just, just alot of takeaways from, from
that.
And, uh, yeah, like I say, justabout my own, uh, Like needs and
kind of limitations orstruggles, if you like,
energetically in, in big crowdsof people like that.
But it was also so amazing toconnect with those parts of
(04:05):
myself that are, that my, youknow, my heritage and my
lineage, if you like.
Um, so it's been emotional.
It has.
And I came away with a bit of acold and I think now everyone,
It's got this cold.
Um, I feel like I've had it forages, but so I've been really
like down physically.
(04:25):
I actually couldn't teach inperson on Monday.
I couldn't.
I was like, I don't think I canteach today.
Uh, so that was a huge learningabout how do I create a
business?
I actually, I've written a blogpost, but I've not finished it
yet.
A sub stack called somethinglike, how do I create a yoga
business that I Can actuallyshow up for.
(04:46):
Um, because even though, like Isay, I've got a bit of a cold, I
think the overwhelming thingthat I realised when I came back
was I really have a limitedaccess to energy.
And I, you know, call itneurodiversity, call it being a
projector in human design,whatever.
It doesn't matter the lens atwhich you want to look through
(05:09):
it.
You know, call it perimenopause,call it all of those things.
I'm also in the luteal phase ofmy cycle, so it's like, all the
struggles.
Like going on a dog walk, I'm ona different route now, but you
know, I'm struggling to walk upthe hill.
And so, how do we honourourselves and fulfil our
(05:31):
purpose?
And I guess What I wanted totalk about today was like, this
word authenticity gets bandiedaround a lot, especially with
spiritual creators and coachesand like, be your most authentic
self.
You know, I'm really wary havingspoken to people that aren't on
this path that like thatactually doesn't really mean
much to people.
(05:51):
And so I thought that was a goodsubject to talk about.
Because the, the enormity of theweekend and the toll, I mean, it
sounds ludicrous.
The toll is for condominium.
What about the toll is forcondominium family?
Obviously.
So please excuse me for that.
What I mean is, how do you showup in your It got me thinking,
(06:11):
you know, how do I show up in mybusiness and still live a life,
you know?
And, um, it's really made medrill down even further on How
am I going to run this businessin a way that's authentic to me?
Um, so I, I've always known thatI can do limited amount of, um,
(06:33):
in person stuff.
It really is gonna have to belimited.
And, oh, I've just left one ofthe dogs behind and he's stood
at the gate thinking, Mommy, letme in.
Okay, come on then.
Um, and so this has got methinking massively.
(06:54):
And my coach, I'm having her onthe podcast really soon.
She's incredible.
My coach.
I hope you can hear me becausethe wind is blowing.
My coach has always said to me,How do you feel when you think
about doing in person stuff?
And I'm like, I don't know.
Like, I kind of don't want to,but I kind of feel like I ought
(07:14):
to.
And she's always like, no,there's no ought, there's no
should.
She's like, passionate.
Her whole business ispassionate.
built around helpingentrepreneurs be their most
authentic self.
And she bases that around humandesign.
She's not someone who talksabout neurodiversity or anything
like that.
But for me, kind of like thesame thing, really.
(07:35):
They're not the same, butthey're the same.
It's like whichever school ofthought, or if you're an
Enneagram fan, honestly, itreally, I'm starting to think
nowadays, it really doesn'tmatter.
If you want to do an enneagram,if you, uh, totally believe that
you are ADHD but you don't seethe point in diagnosis, you
know, had a very interestingmeeting at Sober Mom Squad
(07:58):
yesterday where we were talkingabout They're the meetings that
I go to for my sobriety, by theway, um, you know, we were all
talking about this thing about,you know, becoming who we really
are once we stop drinking.
And it's so intertwined for mewith neurodiversity, with
honoring myself, my energies.
(08:21):
Who I really am.
Because I used alcohol to get methrough situations.
Not because I'm shy.
Like it's really hard for peopleto understand.
Because I'm like the mosttalkative person.
I'm not shy.
I, I, I can't explain it.
(08:41):
It's why I couldn't go toschool.
It's why I struggled to go touniversity.
It's why I used to have such badanxiety.
I would just blush and sweat.
I'm not shy though.
I'm just like this incrediblysensitive person, um, and, and
it takes so much out of me whenI'm in a room and there's lots
of other people there.
(09:01):
And whether you want to callthat a highly sensitive person,
whether one day I end up gettingan autism diagnosis, I'm still
serious on the fence about itstill.
Do I need one?
I don't know.
Um, you know, it's part of who Iam and it always has been.
(09:21):
Uh, and what happens is theolder you get and the more you
mask, and don't get me wrong,when I mask, when I'm masking,
I'm not acting, I'm still me,it's just putting so much effort
into being that version of me.
We went to a comedy gig recentlyand I was so exhausted because I
(09:42):
was laughing and smiling thewhole way through and some, some
of those laughs were totally,obviously genuine, but a lot of
the time I was smiling just incase they'd come, they'd come.
The comedian looked at me anddidn't, you know, I wanted them
to feel supported.
Honestly, it's exhausting.
And like I was, I'm readingUnmasking Autism by Devon Price.
(10:05):
Oh my God.
It's helping me so much.
I'm just like, when I read thatbook, I'm just like, Oh God.
Yeah.
Like this is me.
But then when I come into thereal world.
I just feel like we are nowunderstanding that there's just
these different levels ofneurodiversity and it ain't that
diverse.
(10:25):
Anyway, I've digressedenormously.
Um, So I love going to my Mondayclass where I teach in person.
It's so small, at the minuteonly two people are coming.
I'm not afraid to share thatwith you, it doesn't mean that
I'm a bad teacher, I'm a goodteacher.
I live in a small rural area.
I've only just started.
I guess I don't promote itenough.
Um, I love teaching in person.
(10:48):
I love that energetic exchange,but you know, I do these
seasonal day retreats.
I love them.
I love them and they're reallypopular and I feel like the
universe.
will populate the things thatare right for you and will not
populate the things that aren'tright for you.
So it's like, listen to theuniverse.
(11:09):
I guess you could argue that'smeaning making, but I think
meaning making about what'sworking or what isn't is
different to attaching a meaningabout yourself to the outcome.
Like, Oh God, this clearly meansI'm like the best person ever.
Or Oh God, this means I'm shit.
You know, it's like, okay.
I'm here in your universe.
(11:30):
People are coming to my dayretreat.
Maybe that's my sweet spot forwhen I'm in person with people
because I do think there'ssomething beautiful about being
in the room with people.
So it's like how And by the way,I'm talking about my situation
here.
Please reflect back on yoursituation.
What situations are drainingyou?
(11:50):
What situations are energisingyou?
What do you need?
To stay sober, if it's the samefor you.
What do you need to be agrounded yet spiritual, yet kind
of present, you know, your bestself, for want of a better
phrase.
I hate that phrase, like,hashtag your best self, but you
(12:11):
know, your best self.
What do you need in your career?
And by career I include fulltime parenting, by the way.
We're all full time parents, butyou know what I mean.
Stay home parent, whatever youwant to say.
That's a freaking career.
And I've also realized comingaway from this family loss, this
(12:31):
family funeral, like shit, thatpart's so important.
And I realize when I come backfrom my work or when I'm like in
hyperactive, like Oh my God, onmy laptop all the time flow, you
know, to a person, if I'm inthat state.
Um, then.
(12:57):
It really isn't great for myfamily and I'm really
dysregulated.
Hang on one second.
I need to help my dog get overhis style.
Bear with us.
He's good.
He's over.
He's very good.
I'm that's very naughty takinghim on a walk with a star.
He's actually got a bit ofarthritis in his elbow and we
don't normally take him on thisroute, but we all get bored of
(13:17):
the other route.
Following the breadcrumbs asthis kind of episode is about.
It's like, how do we follow thebreadcrumbs?
How do we listen?
We listen, right?
So I'm over two weeks into mytwice a day Vedic meditation
experience, which hopefully willbe a forever experience.
(13:38):
It will be.
Um, I've not skipped a day.
I've nearly forgot a couple oftimes.
Um, And I feel like that's beena huge part of this too.
That's been a huge part of justlike lifting all of the It's
like lifting all of the crap outof your head.
So you know what's true.
(13:59):
I've never felt more grounded inmy own body.
Like, I'm not a perfect personby any means.
I can still be an asshole.
I have been an asshole a coupleof times this week.
Um, I just feel like, I'm just,you know how I just, I just
exhaled then.
That's kind of how I feel at theminute.
(14:20):
I'm just like anchored down intomy body.
Doing loads of root chakra work.
Coming out on the walk now withno headphones.
Although I'm doing this, this isquite grounding for me.
It's like, how on earth am Igoing to create a business that
doesn't burn me out?
Making decisions around, okay,so if I'm going to do a retreat,
(14:44):
then I need to work out that Ihave X amount of hours on and X
amount of hours off.
Because I will collapse.
And I know it's hard for people.
And in this society where we'reprogrammed to all be the same
and all be productive all of thetime, It's hard because even as
I'm saying that I'm like, Ohgosh, people, I'm worried people
(15:06):
might think I'm being lazy orIt's like, that's just how I'm
built.
And I could go to the doctor andthey could give me a diagnosis
of chronic fatigue or somethinglike that.
I just know that that's how I'mbuilt at this time.
Um, and also working with mycycles.
I'm like now thinking, oh God,is it worth looking at my
calendar to see where I'll be inmy cycle for these retreats?
(15:28):
There's not really much pointbecause I come on my period
between 21 and 24 days and so Iwon't get it right.
There's no point.
Um, My last day of retreat, Iwas in the perfect phase.
Thank you, universe.
And I was good, but I came homeand I was done.
I just collapsed on the sofa.
(15:48):
Uh, eating the remnants of thechocolate cookies.
watching trashy tv that's whati'm spent and i know as time
goes on i will be able toprotect my energy more that
comes as with practice also asmy husband said he's always the
3d the you know the common sensethe Kind of, more traditional,
(16:11):
you know, explanation thing.
The man view, uh, he's like,yeah, well, as also, as you get
used to doing it, you just won'tbe as tired by it.
Which is totally true, ofcourse.
But I'll always be me.
And I'll always be Um Someonewho needs a lot of like nervous
system breaks, and someone whohas to, had to historically
(16:34):
medicate herself to be aroundlots of people.
Uh, and so how do I show up formy work?
How do I show up for me?
I can see as well that althoughI think it's a hyper focus right
now, I can see thatneurodiversity is going to
become part of my work in someway.
How do I really honor myself?
(16:55):
Like, The more I speak topeople, the more I realize,
like, I don't normally associatemyself to be, or identify as an
activist kind of person.
I feel quite activist when Italk about, um, neurodiversity.
I was really snappy with I gotquite heated with, um, my
husband actually yesterdayaround conversations around
(17:16):
neurodiversity because, becauseI'm reading this book and
because I'm loving it andbecause I'm realizing how much
we have to all set ourselves onfire to keep each other's, other
people warm.
You know, I heard that onInstagram the other day and it
was like, talking aboutboundaries, right?
It was like, I won't set myselfon fire to keep you warm.
(17:38):
But that's what we do all thetime as neurodiverse people.
But neurotypicals don't knowthat, bless them.
They don't realise, they're notasking us to do that.
But we're making ourselves dothat.
So I'm trying to practise.
Okay, I'm exhausted, I need toleave.
I don't need to go round and saybye to everybody.
I'm just gonna sneak out.
I did that at the weekend.
(17:59):
Felt awful, felt terrible, firsttime I've ever done it.
I would have historically forcedmyself to stay there, and drunk
alcohol to give myself energy tostay there and to drown out the
noise.
Um, you would never know thisabout me, and it surprises
people.
Um.
(18:20):
How do I be my authentic self inthis life, in this business?
How do I honour myself?
I'm so bothered all the time bywhat people think.
In the book I'm reading, theUnmasking Autism book, it's
talking about this kind ofextreme level of people
pleasing, where you prioritiseother people's comfort over your
(18:41):
own.
That's like Yeah, I mean, I'vereally begun the process of not
doing that a few years ago, butit's very hard.
And now I realise that I'mprobably on another layer of
unmasking, then it's like, God,that's hard work.
That's really hard.
Like, if I disagree withsomebody saying so, if I need
(19:03):
something speaking up, even ifit sounds weird or awkward,
like, that's a work in progress.
So when we talk about being ourauthentic self in spirituality,
for me, this is what it's about.
And the word undercoming keepscoming through.
And I think there's going to bea future offering that I've
daffodil.
Um, you know, and I feel likemidlife is such a window for
(19:26):
unbecoming.
Whether you've got alcohol,whether you realise you're
neurodivergent, whether you'rehaving a divorce, whether you're
changing careers, whetheryou're, you know, realising all
these other huge life things itcould be.
Maybe it's all of those.
Maybe it's like three of those,right?
Like, I feel like we're justunbecoming.
And it is very unbecomingsometimes.
(19:47):
It's seen as unbecoming to askfor what you want.
Because women are trained andwomen are taught to stay quiet,
to stay small, to be polite, toserve, serve, serve.
And I think you can be inservice of others in a way when
you actually advocate foryourself.
Like, it's the most selflessthing of all.
(20:08):
I heard Liz Gilbert on Instagramyesterday saying, you know, she
was in a 12 step meeting andsomebody was like, the most
selfless thing I can do is lookafter myself, because if I don't
look after myself, I will berelying on others to keep me
well.
Do you know what I mean?
And it would be like, it's It'slike you make bad choices then
(20:30):
they have to pick up the piecesand then it's like the most
selfless thing I can do Is restthis afternoon for two hours.
The most selfless thing I can doIs to cancel that appointment or
that class or something that'sjust gonna drain me or that
social event Because if I go andI drink And I F up my sobriety,
(20:52):
you know, giving you theseexamples.
On surface level, you're goingto upset somebody.
You are.
You're going to let someonedown.
But on a deeper level, you needthese things for you.
You need to say no.
That's where the growth is.
It's like, no, I'm not coming tothat.
Event, you know, no, I'm notcoming then or how can I attend
(21:12):
but like make myself safe likeI'm actually going to come and
I'm going to just go for themeal or for an hour or something
like that and it's like the samein my business.
How can I make sure I have inreal life connections with my
beloved small community ofcustomers and clients and
friends.
And actually have, you knowwhat, more one on one time with
(21:35):
them.
That's actually what I'mcraving.
And so it's like, okay, maybenow is the time to start
offering Reiki.
Okay, maybe now is the time tostart offering tarot readings,
which I'm doing at the minute,for my community.
Because they purchased, um, Oneof the day retreats and I am
absolutely loving it and I'mdoing the tarot readings But I'm
doing them in a way that servesme.
(21:57):
So I Sit at home and I channeland I do the reading and then I
deliver it by a voice note butwe have this intimate connection
even though it's over whatsappand it's not in person, but if
it was You know offeringdifferent things in my business
and having the same thing inyour life So what parts of your
life could you be like, ah, thisis where I'll get the in person
(22:17):
connection This is how I canreally nourish myself after I've
been with other people if that'straining me Literally, just, if
you keep purifying and if youkeep cutting out all the things
that don't serve you, whichreally that is the process of
yoga, by the way, I was sayingthat in my yoga class yesterday,
yoga is all about purificationof the mind, body and soul,
meditating, moving your body.
(22:40):
And then the yamas are all abouthow we treat others and how we
treat ourselves, like keeping itpure, keeping it clean.
And in 12 step recovery, theysay, keep your side of the
street clean.
Like, keep your hands clean.
Yeah, you keep clarifying, youkeep clarifying, you keep
refining, you keep purifying.
And then the truth comes down.
You're in a knowing.
(23:02):
And then, that's how you liveyour most authentic life.
How do I show up as the bestversion of me?
So I hope that some of thatlanded with you and resonated
with you.
Please leave a comment, pleaseleave a rating.
Reach out to me at hello atbriefbrainyyoga.
com That's all for now.
(23:22):
Love you, bye!
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