May 28, 2025 • 23 mins
In this episode after attending a funeral I assess what's important and reflect on how I can create a business and a life I can actually show up for.
LINKS:
Hey! I'm Rachel! I am a qualified Holistic Life Coach and Mind Body Practitioner, Embodiment Coach, Yoga 500hrs (plus lots more extra yoga quals). I'm also an award winning content creator and have 20 years' experience in digital. I'm a mum of 3 kids and I live in the Peak District - oh and I have ADHD and I am sober. My passion is helping midlife women turn meltdown into magic!
Offerings:
My luxury retreat for midlife women! (free workshop in the pop up too)
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Rachel Brady's video (00:01):
Conscious but Grounded is a podcast about
spirituality, high vibe livingin the real world.
I ask questions like, how do weconnect to the magic?
The spirit, the source, theuniverse, but with our feet
firmly planted on the ground.
How do we show up in a consciousway and harness that to make
big, paradigm busting change inthe day to day of our lives?
(00:23):
I'm Rachel Brady, mum of three,yoga teacher and embodiment
coach.
This is the place where I'll bereflecting and exploring big,
deep questions, all with a pinchof self deprecation, a few
proper lols, and a lot of reallife.
Join me.
Hi everybody.
Welcome back to Conscious.
The Grounded not recorded for awhile.
(00:46):
It feels like ageless, but ithasn't been that long.
Um, I've got, uh, I think Irecorded like a week ago, but
because I've been doing quite alot, it feels like if I don't
stay regular contact with it, itcan kind of, it could drift
away, but um, it's just becomingthis really lovely place where I
can just.
(01:07):
Express myself and um, and kindof share what I'm going through
and what's going on in myspiritual journey, in the hope
and in the belief that it willresonate with others.
And oh my gosh, it's just likewhat never fail to amaze me is
(01:28):
how your spiritual journey justnever stops being exciting,
never stops growing andchanging.
And I love that like the moreyou let go and the more you
surrender and the more yousoften and the more you stop
doing that, like so much morecomes through.
(01:49):
Uh, so I was at a family funeralat the weekend.
It was a two day event.
It was in Ireland.
And so they do things reallydifferently there to England.
Um, I won't go into details'cause it's so personal.
I just suffice to say it waslike a really big event, a huge
(02:12):
in every sense, like hugelyemotional, a huge person has
passed onto the other side.
Um, and just like learn so muchfrom going about myself, learned
so much from being amongstpeople.
Had so many thoughts andrealizations about what's
(02:34):
important in life, really cameaway with a feeling of like,
first of all, just the toll ittook on me in terms of, uh,
going to a huge event and notrelying on alcohol to get
through it.
Like it really made me realize,like, wow, like it about myself,
which sounds really selfish, butthat was just how it, how it
(02:56):
unfolded.
But as well as that.
And, and more important thanthat, um, it kind of made me go,
God, like this person lived areally, really fantastic life.
And like, what a legacy thatperson left.
And, um, just like how the mostimportant thing in life is to
(03:19):
touch other people's lives.
And there's so many ways to dothat, isn't there?
Like you can raise a family.
And that was one of my biggesttakeaways.
It was like, what an amazingfamily.
And wow.
Like if I can do, you know, aquarter as good as that, then
I'll be like, killing it.
(03:40):
You know?
I thought that was a poor choiceof wood.
Um, so, yeah.
Um, so just, just a lot oftakeaways from, from that and,
uh, yeah, like I say, just aboutmy own, uh.
Like needs and kind oflimitations or struggles, if you
like, energetically in, in bigcrowds of people like that.
(04:03):
But it was also so amazing toconnect with those parts of
myself that are her, that my,her, you know, my heritage and
my lineage if you like.
Um, so it is been emotional.
It has, and I came away with abit of a cold and I think now
everyone.
It's got this cold.
Um, I feel like I've had it forages, but, so I've been really
(04:24):
like down physically.
I actually couldn't teach inperson on Monday.
I couldn't.
I was like, I don't think I canteach today.
Uh, so that was a huge learningabout how do I create a
business.
I actually, I've written a blogpost, but I've not finished it
yet.
A substack called somethinglike, how do I create a yoga
(04:45):
business that I.
I can actually show up for, um,'cause even though I, like I
say, I've got a bit of a cold, Ithink the overwhelming thing
that I realized when I came backwas I really have a limited
access to energy.
And I, you know, call itneurodiversity, call it being a
(05:07):
projector in human design,whatever.
It doesn't matter the lens atwhich you wanna look through it,
you know, call it perimenopause,call it, all of those things.
I'm also in the luteal phase ofmy cycle, so it's like all the
struggles, like going on a dogwalk.
I'm on a different route now,but you know, I'm struggling to
walk up the hill.
(05:27):
Uh, and so how do we honorourselves and fulfill our
purpose?
And I guess.
What I wanted to talk abouttoday was like this word
authenticity gets banded arounda lot, especially with spiritual
creators and coaches and like beyour most authentic self.
You know, I'm really wary havingspoken to people that aren't on
(05:49):
this path that like thatactually doesn't really mean
much to people.
And so I thought that was a goodsubject to talk about.
Um.
Because the, the enormity of theweekend and the toll, I mean, it
sounds ludicrous, the toll it'sgonna be.
What about the toll they took onthe immediate family, obviously.
So please excuse me for that.
(06:10):
My mean is how do you show up inyour, it got me thinking, you
know, how do I show up in mybusiness and still live a life,
you know?
And, um, it's really made medrill down even further on.
How am I going to run thisbusiness in a way that's
authentic to me?
Um, so I I, I've always knownthat I can do limited amount of,
(06:34):
um, in-person stuff.
It really is gonna have to belimited.
And, oh, I've just left one ofthe dogs behind.
And he stood at the gatethinking, mommy, let me in.
Okay, come on then.
Um, and so this has got methinking massively and my coach,
(06:57):
I'm, I'm having her on thepodcast really soon.
She's incredible.
My coach.
I hope you can hear me'cause thewind is blowing.
My coach has always said to me,how do you feel when you think
about doing in-person stuff?
And I'm like, I don't know.
Like I kind of don't want to,but I kind of feel like I ought
to.
(07:18):
And she's always like, no,there's no, or there's no
should.
She's like passionate.
Her whole business is.
Around helping entrepreneurs betheir most authentic self, and
she base that around humandesign.
She's not someone who talksabout neurodiversity or anything
like that, but for me, kind oflike the same thing really.
(07:38):
They're not the same, butthey're the same.
It's like whichever school ofthought or if you're an
Enneagram fan.
Honestly, it really, I'mstarting to think nowadays, it
really doesn't matter.
If you wanna do an Enneagram, ifyou wanna do human design, if
you, uh, totally believe thatyou are a DHD, but you don't see
the point in diagnosis, youknow, had a very interesting
(07:59):
meeting at sober mom's squadyesterday when we were talking
about.
They're the meetings that I goto for my sobriety, by the way.
Um, you know, we were alltalking about this thing about,
you know, becoming who we reallyare once we stop drinking, and
it's so entwined for me withneurodiversity, with honoring
(08:21):
myself, my energies.
Who I really am because I usedalcohol to get me through
situations, not because I'm shy,like it's really hard for people
to understand because I'm likethe most talkative person.
I'm not shy.
(08:41):
I, I, I can't explain it.
It is why I couldn't go toschool.
It's why I struggled to go touniversity.
It's why I used to have such badanxiety.
I would just blush and sweat.
I'm not shy though.
I'm just like this incrediblysensitive person.
Um, and, and it takes so muchout of me when I'm in a room and
(09:01):
there's lots of other peoplethat are, and whether you want
to call that a highly sensitiveperson, whether one day I end up
getting an autism diagnosis, I'mstill serious on the fan about
it.
Still.
Do I need one?
I dunno.
Um, you know, it is part of whoI am and it always has been.
(09:23):
Uh, and what happens is theolder you get and the more you
mask, and don't get me wrong,when I mask, when I'm masking,
I'm not acting.
I'm still me.
It's just putting so much effortinto being that version of me.
We went to a comedy gig recentlyand I was so exhausted because I
(09:44):
was laughing and smiling thewhole way through and some, some
of those laugh laughs weretotally obviously genuine, but a
lot of the time I was smilingjust in case of come.
A comedian looked at me anddidn't, you know, I wanted them
to feel supported.
Honestly.
It's exhausting.
And like I was, I'm readingUnmask Unmasking What?
(10:06):
By Devon Price.
Oh my God.
It's helping me so much.
I'm just like, when I read thatbook, I'm just like, oh God.
Yeah.
Oh God.
Yeah.
Like this is me.
But then when I come into thereal world.
I just feel like we are nowunderstanding that there's just
these different levels ofneurodiversity and it ain't that
diverse anyway.
(10:28):
I've digressed enormously.
Um, so I lo I love going to myMonday class.
I teach in person.
It's so small.
At the minute, only two peopleare coming.
I'm not afraid to share thatwith you.
It doesn't mean that I'm a badteacher.
I'm a good teacher.
I live in a small rural area.
I've only just started, I guessI don't promote it enough.
Um, I love teaching in person.
(10:51):
I love that energetic exchange,but I.
You know, I do these seasonalday retreats.
I love them, I love them, andthey're really popular, and I
feel like the universe willpopulate the things that are
right for you and will notpopulate the things that aren't
right for you.
So it's like, listen to theuniverse.
(11:12):
I guess you could argue that'smeaning make making, I think
meaning making about what'sworking and what isn't is
different to attaching.
A meaning about yourself to theoutcome.
Like, oh God, this clearly meansI'm like the best person ever.
Or, oh God, this means I'm shit.
You know?
It's like, okay, I'm hearingyour universe.
(11:32):
People are coming to my dayretreat.
Maybe that's my sweet spot forwhen I'm in person with people,
because I do think there'ssomething beautiful about being
in the room with people.
So it's like how, and by theway, I'm talking about my
situation here.
Please reflect back on yoursituation.
What situations are drainingyou, what situations are
(11:53):
energizing you?
What do you need to stay sober?
If it's the same for you, whatdo you need?
To be a grounded yet spiritual,yet kind of present, you know
your best self for want of abetter phrase.
I hate that phrase, like hashtagyour best self, but you know
(12:14):
your best self.
What do you need in your career?
And by career, I includefull-time parenting.
By the way, we're all full-timeparents, but you know what I
mean?
Stay home, parent, whatever youwant to say.
That's a fricking career.
And I've also realized comingaway from this family, lost this
family funeral, like shit, thatpart's so important.
(12:39):
And I realize when I come backfrom my work or when I'm like in
hyperactive like.
Oh my God, on my laptop all thetime.
I works, you know, a person ifI'm in that state, um, then I.
(12:59):
It really isn't great for myfamily and I'm really
dysregulated.
Hang on one second.
I need to help my dog get overhis style.
Bear with, he's good.
He's over.
He's very good.
I'm, that's very naughty.
Taking him on a walk with hisstyle.
He's actually got a bit ofarthritis in his elbow and we
don't normally take him on thisroute, but we all get bored of
(13:20):
the other route, so.
Following the breadcrumbs as, asthis kind of episode is about,
it's like, how do we follow thebreadcrumbs?
How do we listen?
We listen, right?
So I'm two over two weeks intomy twice a day DIC meditation
experience, which hopefully willbe a forever experience.
(13:41):
It will be, um, I'm gonna skiptoday.
I've nearly forgot a couple oftimes.
Um, and I feel like that's beena big, huge part of this too.
That's been a huge part of justlike lifting all of the, it,
it's like lifting all of thecrap out your head so you know
what's true.
(14:02):
I've never felt more grounded inmy own body, like I'm not a
perfect person by any means.
I can still be an asshole.
I have been an asshole a coupleof times this week.
Um, I just feel like I'm just,you know how I just, I just
exhaled then.
That's kind of how I feel at theminute.
(14:23):
I'm just like anchored down intomy body doing loads of root
chakral work coming out on thewalk now with no headphones,
although I'm doing this, this isquite grounding for me.
It is like, how on earth am Igoing to create a business that
doesn't burn me out?
Making decisions around, okay,so if I'm gonna do a retreat,
(14:46):
then I need to work out that Ihave.
X amount of hours on and Xamount of hours off because I
will collapse.
And I know it's hard for peopleand in this society where we
program to all be the same andall be productive all of the
time, it's hard because even asI'm saying that, I'm like, oh
(15:07):
gosh, people, I'm worried peoplemight think I'm being lazy or.
It's like, that's just how I'mbuilt.
And I could go to the doctor andthey could give me a diagnosis
of chronic fatigue or somethinglike that.
I just know that that's how I'mbuilt at this time.
Um, and also working with mycycles, I'm like now thinking,
oh God, is it worth looking atmy calendar to see where I'll be
(15:28):
in my cycle For these retreats,there's not really much point
because I come on my periodbetween 21, 21 and 24 days, and,
and so I won't get it right.
There's no point.
Um.
My last day retreat, I was inthe perfect phase, thank you
universe, and I was good.
But I came home and I was done.
(15:48):
I just collapsed on the sofa,uh, eating the remnants of the
chocolate cookies like.
Washing trashy tv.
That's what I'm spent, and Iknow as time goes on, I will be
able to protect my energy moreThat comes as with practice.
Also, as my husband said, he'salways the 3D, the, you know,
(16:08):
the common sense, the kind of.
More traditional, you know,explanation thing, the man view.
Uh, he's like, yeah, well asalso as you get used to doing
it, you just won't be retired byit, which is totally true, of
course, but I'll always be meand I'll always be, um, I.
(16:29):
Someone who needs a lot of likenervous system breaks and
someone who has to have tohistorically medicate herself to
be around lots of people.
Uh, and so how do I show up formy work?
How do I show up?
For me?
I can see as well that althoughI think it's a bit of a
hyperfocused, right?
Right now, I can see thatneurodiversity is gonna become
(16:51):
part of my work in some way.
How do I really honor myself?
Like.
The more I speak to people, themore I realize, like I don't
normally I associate myself tobe or identify as an activist
kind of person.
I feel quite activist when Italk about, um, neuro adversity.
(17:11):
I was really snappy with, I.
Quite heated with, um, myhusband actually yesterday
around conversations aroundneurodiversity.
Because, because I'm readingthis book and because I'm living
it and because I'm realizing howmuch we have to all set
ourselves on fire to keep eachother's other people warm.
(17:31):
You know, I heard that onInstagram the other day and it
was like talking aboutboundaries, right?
It was like, I won't set myselfon fire to keep you warm.
But that's what we do all thetime as Neurodiverse people.
But neurotypicals don't knowthat.
Bless them.
They don't realize they're not,they're not asking us to do
that, but we're making ourselvesdo that.
(17:52):
So I'm trying to practice, okay,I am exhausted.
I need to leave.
I don't need to go around andsay bye to everybody.
I'm just gonna sneak out.
I did that the weekend.
Felt awful, felt terrible.
First time I've ever done it.
I would've historically forcedmyself to stay there and drunk
alcohol, to give myself energyto stay there and to drown out
(18:14):
the noise.
Um, you would never know thisabout me, and it surprises
people.
Um.
How do I be my authentic self inthis life, in this business?
How do I honor myself?
I'm so bothered all the timeabout what people think.
In the book I'm reading theUnmasking Autism book, it's
(18:36):
talking about this kind ofextreme level of people
pleasing, where you prioritizeother people's comfort over your
own.
That's like.
Yeah, I mean I'm really begunthe process of not doing that a
few years ago, but it's veryhard and now I realize that I'm
probably on another layer ofunmasking then it is like, God,
(19:00):
that's hard work.
That's really hard.
If I disagree with somebodysaying so, if I need something
speaking up, even if it soundsweird or awkward, like that's a
work in progress.
So when we talk about being ourauthentic self in spirituality,
for me, this is what it's aboutand the word unbecoming keeps
(19:20):
coming through and I thinkthere's gonna be a future
offering that definite.
Um, you know, and I feel likemidlife is such a window for
unbecoming, whether you've gotalcohol, whether you realize
you're neurodivergent, whetheryou are having a divorce,
whether you are changingcareers, whether you are, you
know, realizing all these otherhuge life things.
(19:40):
It could be.
Maybe it's all of those.
Maybe it's like three of those,right?
Like I feel like we're justunbecoming.
And it is very unbecoming.
Sometimes it's seen asunbecoming to ask for what you
want because women are trainedand women are taught to stay
quiet, to stay small, to bepolite, to serve, serve.
(20:02):
And I think you can be inservice of others in a way when
you actually advocate foryourself, like it's the most
selfish thing of all.
I heard Liz Gilbert on Instagramyesterday saying, you know, she
was in a 12 step meeting andsomebody was like, the most
selfless thing I can do is lookafter myself, because if I don't
look after myself, I will berelying on others to keep me
(20:27):
well.
Do you know what I mean?
And it would be like, it's, it'slike you'll make bad choices,
don't they?
You have to pick up the piecesand then it, it's like the most
selfless thing I can do is restthis afternoon for two hours.
The most selfless thing I can dois to cancel that appointment or
that class or something that'sjust gonna drain me or that
(20:48):
social event.
Because if I go and I drink andIF up my sobriety, you know,
giving you these examples at onservice level, you're gonna
upset somebody.
You are, you're gonna letsomeone down.
But on a deeper level, you needthese things for you.
You need to say no.
That's where the growth is.
It's like, no, I'm not coming tothat.
(21:09):
Event, you know, no, I'm notcoming then, or how can I
attend, but like make myselfsafe.
Like I'm actually gonna come andI'm gonna just go for the meal
or for an hour or something likethat.
And it's like the same in mybusiness.
How can I make sure I have inreal life connections with my
beloved small community ofcustomers and clients?
(21:33):
And actually have, you know,what more one-on-one time with
them.
That's actually what I'mcraving.
And so it's like, okay, maybenow is the time to start
offering reiki.
Okay, maybe now is the time tostart offering tarot readings,
which I'm doing at the minutefor my community because they
purchased, um.
One of the day retreats, and I'mabsolutely loving it and I'm
(21:56):
doing the tarot readings, butI'm doing them in a way that
serves me.
So I sit at home and I channeland I do the reading, and then I
deliver it via a voice note.
But we have this intimateconnection, even though it's
over WhatsApp and it's not inperson, but if it was.
You know, offering differentthings in my business and having
the same thing in your life.
So what parts of your life couldyou be like, ah, this is where
(22:19):
I'll get the in-personconnection.
This is how I can really nourishmyself after I've been with
other people.
If that's training me.
Literally just if you keeppurifying and if you keep
cutting out all the things thatdon't serve you, which really,
that is the process of yoga, bythe way, I was saying that in my
yoga class yesterday.
Yoga is all about purificationof the mind, body, and soul,
(22:39):
meditating, moving your body.
And then the yamas.
And the yamas are all about howwe treat others and how we treat
ourselves.
Like keeping it pure, keeping itclean.
And in 12 step recovery, theysay keep your side of the street
clean.
Like keep your hands clean.
Yeah.
You keep clarifying, you keepclarifying, you keep refining,
you keep purifying, and then thetruth comes down.
(23:02):
You're in a knowing.
And then that's how you liveyour most authentic life.
How do I show up as the bestversion of me?
So I hope that some of thatlanded with you and resonated
with you.
Please leave a comment.
Please leave a rating.
Reach out to me athello@rachelbradyyoga.com.
(23:23):
That's all for now.
Love you.
Bye.
Conscious but Grounded is a podcast about
spirituality, high vibe livingin the real world.
I ask questions like, how do weconnect to the magic?
The spirit, the source, theuniverse, but with our feet
firmly planted on the ground.
How do we show up in a consciousway and harness that to make
big, paradigm busting change inthe day to day of our lives?
(00:23):
I'm Rachel Brady, mum of three,yoga teacher and embodiment
coach.
This is the place where I'll bereflecting and exploring big,
deep questions, all with a pinchof self deprecation, a few
proper lols, and a lot of reallife.
Join me.
Hi everybody.
Welcome back to Conscious.
The Grounded not recorded for awhile.
(00:46):
It feels like ageless, but ithasn't been that long.
Um, I've got, uh, I think Irecorded like a week ago, but
because I've been doing quite alot, it feels like if I don't
stay regular contact with it, itcan kind of, it could drift
away, but um, it's just becomingthis really lovely place where I
can just.
(01:07):
Express myself and um, and kindof share what I'm going through
and what's going on in myspiritual journey, in the hope
and in the belief that it willresonate with others.
And oh my gosh, it's just likewhat never fail to amaze me is
(01:28):
how your spiritual journey justnever stops being exciting,
never stops growing andchanging.
And I love that like the moreyou let go and the more you
surrender and the more yousoften and the more you stop
doing that, like so much morecomes through.
(01:49):
Uh, so I was at a family funeralat the weekend.
It was a two day event.
It was in Ireland.
And so they do things reallydifferently there to England.
Um, I won't go into details'cause it's so personal.
I just suffice to say it waslike a really big event, a huge
(02:12):
in every sense, like hugelyemotional, a huge person has
passed onto the other side.
Um, and just like learn so muchfrom going about myself, learned
so much from being amongstpeople.
Had so many thoughts andrealizations about what's
(02:34):
important in life, really cameaway with a feeling of like,
first of all, just the toll ittook on me in terms of, uh,
going to a huge event and notrelying on alcohol to get
through it.
Like it really made me realize,like, wow, like it about myself,
which sounds really selfish, butthat was just how it, how it
(02:56):
unfolded.
But as well as that.
And, and more important thanthat, um, it kind of made me go,
God, like this person lived areally, really fantastic life.
And like, what a legacy thatperson left.
And, um, just like how the mostimportant thing in life is to
(03:19):
touch other people's lives.
And there's so many ways to dothat, isn't there?
Like you can raise a family.
And that was one of my biggesttakeaways.
It was like, what an amazingfamily.
And wow.
Like if I can do, you know, aquarter as good as that, then
I'll be like, killing it.
(03:40):
You know?
I thought that was a poor choiceof wood.
Um, so, yeah.
Um, so just, just a lot oftakeaways from, from that and,
uh, yeah, like I say, just aboutmy own, uh.
Like needs and kind oflimitations or struggles, if you
like, energetically in, in bigcrowds of people like that.
(04:03):
But it was also so amazing toconnect with those parts of
myself that are her, that my,her, you know, my heritage and
my lineage if you like.
Um, so it is been emotional.
It has, and I came away with abit of a cold and I think now
everyone.
It's got this cold.
Um, I feel like I've had it forages, but, so I've been really
(04:24):
like down physically.
I actually couldn't teach inperson on Monday.
I couldn't.
I was like, I don't think I canteach today.
Uh, so that was a huge learningabout how do I create a
business.
I actually, I've written a blogpost, but I've not finished it
yet.
A substack called somethinglike, how do I create a yoga
(04:45):
business that I.
I can actually show up for, um,'cause even though I, like I
say, I've got a bit of a cold, Ithink the overwhelming thing
that I realized when I came backwas I really have a limited
access to energy.
And I, you know, call itneurodiversity, call it being a
(05:07):
projector in human design,whatever.
It doesn't matter the lens atwhich you wanna look through it,
you know, call it perimenopause,call it, all of those things.
I'm also in the luteal phase ofmy cycle, so it's like all the
struggles, like going on a dogwalk.
I'm on a different route now,but you know, I'm struggling to
walk up the hill.
(05:27):
Uh, and so how do we honorourselves and fulfill our
purpose?
And I guess.
What I wanted to talk abouttoday was like this word
authenticity gets banded arounda lot, especially with spiritual
creators and coaches and like beyour most authentic self.
You know, I'm really wary havingspoken to people that aren't on
(05:49):
this path that like thatactually doesn't really mean
much to people.
And so I thought that was a goodsubject to talk about.
Um.
Because the, the enormity of theweekend and the toll, I mean, it
sounds ludicrous, the toll it'sgonna be.
What about the toll they took onthe immediate family, obviously.
So please excuse me for that.
(06:10):
My mean is how do you show up inyour, it got me thinking, you
know, how do I show up in mybusiness and still live a life,
you know?
And, um, it's really made medrill down even further on.
How am I going to run thisbusiness in a way that's
authentic to me?
Um, so I I, I've always knownthat I can do limited amount of,
(06:34):
um, in-person stuff.
It really is gonna have to belimited.
And, oh, I've just left one ofthe dogs behind.
And he stood at the gatethinking, mommy, let me in.
Okay, come on then.
Um, and so this has got methinking massively and my coach,
(06:57):
I'm, I'm having her on thepodcast really soon.
She's incredible.
My coach.
I hope you can hear me'cause thewind is blowing.
My coach has always said to me,how do you feel when you think
about doing in-person stuff?
And I'm like, I don't know.
Like I kind of don't want to,but I kind of feel like I ought
to.
(07:18):
And she's always like, no,there's no, or there's no
should.
She's like passionate.
Her whole business is.
Around helping entrepreneurs betheir most authentic self, and
she base that around humandesign.
She's not someone who talksabout neurodiversity or anything
like that, but for me, kind oflike the same thing really.
(07:38):
They're not the same, butthey're the same.
It's like whichever school ofthought or if you're an
Enneagram fan.
Honestly, it really, I'mstarting to think nowadays, it
really doesn't matter.
If you wanna do an Enneagram, ifyou wanna do human design, if
you, uh, totally believe thatyou are a DHD, but you don't see
the point in diagnosis, youknow, had a very interesting
(07:59):
meeting at sober mom's squadyesterday when we were talking
about.
They're the meetings that I goto for my sobriety, by the way.
Um, you know, we were alltalking about this thing about,
you know, becoming who we reallyare once we stop drinking, and
it's so entwined for me withneurodiversity, with honoring
(08:21):
myself, my energies.
Who I really am because I usedalcohol to get me through
situations, not because I'm shy,like it's really hard for people
to understand because I'm likethe most talkative person.
I'm not shy.
(08:41):
I, I, I can't explain it.
It is why I couldn't go toschool.
It's why I struggled to go touniversity.
It's why I used to have such badanxiety.
I would just blush and sweat.
I'm not shy though.
I'm just like this incrediblysensitive person.
Um, and, and it takes so muchout of me when I'm in a room and
(09:01):
there's lots of other peoplethat are, and whether you want
to call that a highly sensitiveperson, whether one day I end up
getting an autism diagnosis, I'mstill serious on the fan about
it.
Still.
Do I need one?
I dunno.
Um, you know, it is part of whoI am and it always has been.
(09:23):
Uh, and what happens is theolder you get and the more you
mask, and don't get me wrong,when I mask, when I'm masking,
I'm not acting.
I'm still me.
It's just putting so much effortinto being that version of me.
We went to a comedy gig recentlyand I was so exhausted because I
(09:44):
was laughing and smiling thewhole way through and some, some
of those laugh laughs weretotally obviously genuine, but a
lot of the time I was smilingjust in case of come.
A comedian looked at me anddidn't, you know, I wanted them
to feel supported.
Honestly.
It's exhausting.
And like I was, I'm readingUnmask Unmasking What?
(10:06):
By Devon Price.
Oh my God.
It's helping me so much.
I'm just like, when I read thatbook, I'm just like, oh God.
Yeah.
Oh God.
Yeah.
Like this is me.
But then when I come into thereal world.
I just feel like we are nowunderstanding that there's just
these different levels ofneurodiversity and it ain't that
diverse anyway.
(10:28):
I've digressed enormously.
Um, so I lo I love going to myMonday class.
I teach in person.
It's so small.
At the minute, only two peopleare coming.
I'm not afraid to share thatwith you.
It doesn't mean that I'm a badteacher.
I'm a good teacher.
I live in a small rural area.
I've only just started, I guessI don't promote it enough.
Um, I love teaching in person.
(10:51):
I love that energetic exchange,but I.
You know, I do these seasonalday retreats.
I love them, I love them, andthey're really popular, and I
feel like the universe willpopulate the things that are
right for you and will notpopulate the things that aren't
right for you.
So it's like, listen to theuniverse.
(11:12):
I guess you could argue that'smeaning make making, I think
meaning making about what'sworking and what isn't is
different to attaching.
A meaning about yourself to theoutcome.
Like, oh God, this clearly meansI'm like the best person ever.
Or, oh God, this means I'm shit.
You know?
It's like, okay, I'm hearingyour universe.
(11:32):
People are coming to my dayretreat.
Maybe that's my sweet spot forwhen I'm in person with people,
because I do think there'ssomething beautiful about being
in the room with people.
So it's like how, and by theway, I'm talking about my
situation here.
Please reflect back on yoursituation.
What situations are drainingyou, what situations are
(11:53):
energizing you?
What do you need to stay sober?
If it's the same for you, whatdo you need?
To be a grounded yet spiritual,yet kind of present, you know
your best self for want of abetter phrase.
I hate that phrase, like hashtagyour best self, but you know
(12:14):
your best self.
What do you need in your career?
And by career, I includefull-time parenting.
By the way, we're all full-timeparents, but you know what I
mean?
Stay home, parent, whatever youwant to say.
That's a fricking career.
And I've also realized comingaway from this family, lost this
family funeral, like shit, thatpart's so important.
(12:39):
And I realize when I come backfrom my work or when I'm like in
hyperactive like.
Oh my God, on my laptop all thetime.
I works, you know, a person ifI'm in that state, um, then I.
(12:59):
It really isn't great for myfamily and I'm really
dysregulated.
Hang on one second.
I need to help my dog get overhis style.
Bear with, he's good.
He's over.
He's very good.
I'm, that's very naughty.
Taking him on a walk with hisstyle.
He's actually got a bit ofarthritis in his elbow and we
don't normally take him on thisroute, but we all get bored of
(13:20):
the other route, so.
Following the breadcrumbs as, asthis kind of episode is about,
it's like, how do we follow thebreadcrumbs?
How do we listen?
We listen, right?
So I'm two over two weeks intomy twice a day DIC meditation
experience, which hopefully willbe a forever experience.
(13:41):
It will be, um, I'm gonna skiptoday.
I've nearly forgot a couple oftimes.
Um, and I feel like that's beena big, huge part of this too.
That's been a huge part of justlike lifting all of the, it,
it's like lifting all of thecrap out your head so you know
what's true.
(14:02):
I've never felt more grounded inmy own body, like I'm not a
perfect person by any means.
I can still be an asshole.
I have been an asshole a coupleof times this week.
Um, I just feel like I'm just,you know how I just, I just
exhaled then.
That's kind of how I feel at theminute.
(14:23):
I'm just like anchored down intomy body doing loads of root
chakral work coming out on thewalk now with no headphones,
although I'm doing this, this isquite grounding for me.
It is like, how on earth am Igoing to create a business that
doesn't burn me out?
Making decisions around, okay,so if I'm gonna do a retreat,
(14:46):
then I need to work out that Ihave.
X amount of hours on and Xamount of hours off because I
will collapse.
And I know it's hard for peopleand in this society where we
program to all be the same andall be productive all of the
time, it's hard because even asI'm saying that, I'm like, oh
(15:07):
gosh, people, I'm worried peoplemight think I'm being lazy or.
It's like, that's just how I'mbuilt.
And I could go to the doctor andthey could give me a diagnosis
of chronic fatigue or somethinglike that.
I just know that that's how I'mbuilt at this time.
Um, and also working with mycycles, I'm like now thinking,
oh God, is it worth looking atmy calendar to see where I'll be
(15:28):
in my cycle For these retreats,there's not really much point
because I come on my periodbetween 21, 21 and 24 days, and,
and so I won't get it right.
There's no point.
Um.
My last day retreat, I was inthe perfect phase, thank you
universe, and I was good.
But I came home and I was done.
(15:48):
I just collapsed on the sofa,uh, eating the remnants of the
chocolate cookies like.
Washing trashy tv.
That's what I'm spent, and Iknow as time goes on, I will be
able to protect my energy moreThat comes as with practice.
Also, as my husband said, he'salways the 3D, the, you know,
(16:08):
the common sense, the kind of.
More traditional, you know,explanation thing, the man view.
Uh, he's like, yeah, well asalso as you get used to doing
it, you just won't be retired byit, which is totally true, of
course, but I'll always be meand I'll always be, um, I.
(16:29):
Someone who needs a lot of likenervous system breaks and
someone who has to have tohistorically medicate herself to
be around lots of people.
Uh, and so how do I show up formy work?
How do I show up?
For me?
I can see as well that althoughI think it's a bit of a
hyperfocused, right?
Right now, I can see thatneurodiversity is gonna become
(16:51):
part of my work in some way.
How do I really honor myself?
Like.
The more I speak to people, themore I realize, like I don't
normally I associate myself tobe or identify as an activist
kind of person.
I feel quite activist when Italk about, um, neuro adversity.
(17:11):
I was really snappy with, I.
Quite heated with, um, myhusband actually yesterday
around conversations aroundneurodiversity.
Because, because I'm readingthis book and because I'm living
it and because I'm realizing howmuch we have to all set
ourselves on fire to keep eachother's other people warm.
(17:31):
You know, I heard that onInstagram the other day and it
was like talking aboutboundaries, right?
It was like, I won't set myselfon fire to keep you warm.
But that's what we do all thetime as Neurodiverse people.
But neurotypicals don't knowthat.
Bless them.
They don't realize they're not,they're not asking us to do
that, but we're making ourselvesdo that.
(17:52):
So I'm trying to practice, okay,I am exhausted.
I need to leave.
I don't need to go around andsay bye to everybody.
I'm just gonna sneak out.
I did that the weekend.
Felt awful, felt terrible.
First time I've ever done it.
I would've historically forcedmyself to stay there and drunk
alcohol, to give myself energyto stay there and to drown out
(18:14):
the noise.
Um, you would never know thisabout me, and it surprises
people.
Um.
How do I be my authentic self inthis life, in this business?
How do I honor myself?
I'm so bothered all the timeabout what people think.
In the book I'm reading theUnmasking Autism book, it's
(18:36):
talking about this kind ofextreme level of people
pleasing, where you prioritizeother people's comfort over your
own.
That's like.
Yeah, I mean I'm really begunthe process of not doing that a
few years ago, but it's veryhard and now I realize that I'm
probably on another layer ofunmasking then it is like, God,
(19:00):
that's hard work.
That's really hard.
If I disagree with somebodysaying so, if I need something
speaking up, even if it soundsweird or awkward, like that's a
work in progress.
So when we talk about being ourauthentic self in spirituality,
for me, this is what it's aboutand the word unbecoming keeps
(19:20):
coming through and I thinkthere's gonna be a future
offering that definite.
Um, you know, and I feel likemidlife is such a window for
unbecoming, whether you've gotalcohol, whether you realize
you're neurodivergent, whetheryou are having a divorce,
whether you are changingcareers, whether you are, you
know, realizing all these otherhuge life things.
(19:40):
It could be.
Maybe it's all of those.
Maybe it's like three of those,right?
Like I feel like we're justunbecoming.
And it is very unbecoming.
Sometimes it's seen asunbecoming to ask for what you
want because women are trainedand women are taught to stay
quiet, to stay small, to bepolite, to serve, serve.
(20:02):
And I think you can be inservice of others in a way when
you actually advocate foryourself, like it's the most
selfish thing of all.
I heard Liz Gilbert on Instagramyesterday saying, you know, she
was in a 12 step meeting andsomebody was like, the most
selfless thing I can do is lookafter myself, because if I don't
look after myself, I will berelying on others to keep me
(20:27):
well.
Do you know what I mean?
And it would be like, it's, it'slike you'll make bad choices,
don't they?
You have to pick up the piecesand then it, it's like the most
selfless thing I can do is restthis afternoon for two hours.
The most selfless thing I can dois to cancel that appointment or
that class or something that'sjust gonna drain me or that
(20:48):
social event.
Because if I go and I drink andIF up my sobriety, you know,
giving you these examples at onservice level, you're gonna
upset somebody.
You are, you're gonna letsomeone down.
But on a deeper level, you needthese things for you.
You need to say no.
That's where the growth is.
It's like, no, I'm not coming tothat.
(21:09):
Event, you know, no, I'm notcoming then, or how can I
attend, but like make myselfsafe.
Like I'm actually gonna come andI'm gonna just go for the meal
or for an hour or something likethat.
And it's like the same in mybusiness.
How can I make sure I have inreal life connections with my
beloved small community ofcustomers and clients?
(21:33):
And actually have, you know,what more one-on-one time with
them.
That's actually what I'mcraving.
And so it's like, okay, maybenow is the time to start
offering reiki.
Okay, maybe now is the time tostart offering tarot readings,
which I'm doing at the minutefor my community because they
purchased, um.
One of the day retreats, and I'mabsolutely loving it and I'm
(21:56):
doing the tarot readings, butI'm doing them in a way that
serves me.
So I sit at home and I channeland I do the reading, and then I
deliver it via a voice note.
But we have this intimateconnection, even though it's
over WhatsApp and it's not inperson, but if it was.
You know, offering differentthings in my business and having
the same thing in your life.
So what parts of your life couldyou be like, ah, this is where
(22:19):
I'll get the in-personconnection.
This is how I can really nourishmyself after I've been with
other people.
If that's training me.
Literally just if you keeppurifying and if you keep
cutting out all the things thatdon't serve you, which really,
that is the process of yoga, bythe way, I was saying that in my
yoga class yesterday.
Yoga is all about purificationof the mind, body, and soul,
(22:39):
meditating, moving your body.
And then the yamas.
And the yamas are all about howwe treat others and how we treat
ourselves.
Like keeping it pure, keeping itclean.
And in 12 step recovery, theysay keep your side of the street
clean.
Like keep your hands clean.
Yeah.
You keep clarifying, you keepclarifying, you keep refining,
you keep purifying, and then thetruth comes down.
(23:02):
You're in a knowing.
And then that's how you liveyour most authentic life.
How do I show up as the bestversion of me?
So I hope that some of thatlanded with you and resonated
with you.
Please leave a comment.
Please leave a rating.
Reach out to me athello@rachelbradyyoga.com.
(23:23):
That's all for now.
Love you.
Bye.
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