June 3, 2025 • 22 mins
In this episode (that was recorded 2 months before I posted btw) I talk about the school holidays, where the wheels always come off!! Expect some honest sharing...
Connect to me below - freebies at my website and I hang out all the time at my Insta.
Hey! I'm Rachel! I am a qualified Holistic Life Coach and Mind Body Practitioner, Embodiment Coach, Yoga 500hrs (plus lots more extra yoga quals). I'm also an award winning content creator and have 20 years' experience in digital. I'm a mum of 3 kids and I live in the Peak District - oh and I have ADHD and I am sober. My passion is helping midlife women turn meltdown into magic!
Offerings:
My luxury retreat for midlife women! (free workshop in the pop up too)
Book a coaching taster spot with me half price
Goddess Codes Chakra Masterclass (GODDESS7 to get for £7)
Find me here:
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Rachel Brady's video (00:01):
Conscious but Grounded is a podcast about
spirituality, high vibe livingin the real world.
I ask questions like, how do weconnect to the magic?
The spirit, the source, theuniverse, but with our feet
firmly planted on the ground.
How do we show up in a consciousway and harness that to make
big, paradigm busting change inthe day to day of our lives?
(00:23):
I'm Rachel Brady, mum of three,yoga teacher and embodiment
coach.
This is the place where I'll bereflecting and exploring big,
deep questions, all with a pinchof self deprecation, a few
proper lols, and a lot of reallife.
Join me.
Hello there.
Welcome back to Conscious Book.
(00:43):
Grounded.
Uh, I feel really rusty.
Actually, I've not recorded fora while.
Um, we've been on holiday, it'sbeen used to holidays and also
I've got a couple of episodesjust to back up with.
Um, but then I saw in my diary Iwas.
Recording with a guest tomorrow.
So, um, I thought, you know,it'd be really nice actually to
(01:05):
just record myself first, justto get back in the swing.
Uh, and, and then I'm actuallyin the car driving Sheffield,
and as you know, if you'velistened before, a lot of my
episodes are done whilst I'm inthe car or whilst I'm walking
the dog, uh, having a coffeeand, and just kind of feeling.
Like, I'd love to share, um, andI was just thinking like I
(01:26):
always do, or what is it I wantto share on today?
And there's so many differentthings that I want to talk to
you about in the realm, withinthe realm of how to be, you
know, a spiritual person in thereal world.
And I think I'll just make thisa chatty one and maybe at the
end there'll be a theme thatcomes up.
And so I thought, you know, alsoI feel like this helped me so
(01:47):
much to process, like I processlike this, um, by writing.
And speaking and it, it, I justfind it really helpful.
And um, one of the things that Ithought, well, that's definitely
something on my mind recently,one of the things is that, yeah,
we've been away for, we wentaway for 10 nights, but the
Easter holidays was obviouslytwo weeks.
Um, and then some,'cause ithasn't bank holiday as well.
(02:10):
Um, and before then, I don'tthink I'd recorded for a while.
Uh, not, it wasn't too long,maybe a week or so.
And like I say, I've got acouple of episodes, just chatty
ones, um, where it's just mejust to upload.
And I, you know, what happens,right?
Okay.
So if you know me or if you'vechatted to me or been been on
social, you might have heard mesay this before, which is that I
(02:32):
find, um, term time to be myhealth most healthy, productive,
settled time.
And that probably speaks somehowto my neurodivergence.
However, it's, I, I, I justthrive better in that kind of
routine when I've got my ownspace to make progress, even if
it's small progress on.
(02:52):
Things like the house and, uh,routines and, you know, my own
healthy habits and things likethat.
I find it easier to doeverything during term time when
it's the holidays.
Don't get me wrong, I'm excitedtoo by the like, yay.
No more like school dashing outthe door for school in the
morning and like spending timewith the kids.
Like I always joke like, oh God,uh, get them back to school.
(03:15):
I love spending time with thekids.
However, it is hard, like, youknow, we've got three kids and
that is hard.
All different ages.
You know, a couple of them areneuro diverse.
I wouldn't be surprised if allare, to be honest.
Um, so I do find holidays hardand, and the amount of times,
uh, where I, I will, I alwaysuse the phrase the wheels came
(03:36):
off, like the wheels came offwhen the holidays.
And honestly, to some degreeduring this holiday, the wheels
came off.
And I suppose that's what I'llstart with today, which is that
I had, uh, quite, I had a fewdays on holiday, uh, where I had
a drink and then I.
And before the holiday as well.
And so I'd got to about threemonths.
(03:56):
Uh, sobriety wise, and this islike a pattern for me, but like
there is growth because, um, Iwill do, I used to do less than
three months and then break mysobriety.
I mean, nothing bad happened.
I enjoyed myself.
I, you know, it for peoplelooking in and people do say
(04:17):
this to me, like, why do you tryand do it then?
Like, if, if it's okay, if it'skind of okay.
And I guess the answer is I justfeel so much healthier when I
don't drink.
Um, I have had a, definitely hada rocky history with alcohol.
Um, and I have delicate mentalhealth and it absolutely does
not help the mental health.
(04:39):
And some people, it doesn'taffect them in that way.
And that's fine.
Uh, it definitely does.
Me, you know, I found that Icoped in averted commas very
well with drinking.
It was fine.
I.
Um, I, I didn't wanna drink anddrink and drink.
I, I easily stopped.
Um, I ended up having acigarette every time I drank and
(05:03):
only one.
And I only had a couple ofdrinks, but like, again, like
people might like look onprobably less so with smoking
and go, well, what's the problemthen?
Like, it sounds okay if you onlydo that on holidays.
And I've definitely given myselfgrace around that.
I'm like, I don't future tripabout it now, and I don't like,
make myself future promises and.
Also that does adhere to thekind of outlook of like one day
(05:24):
at a time in terms of, you know,just for today you choose not to
drink.
And I've done that since I'vegot back, uh, despite wanting to
drink very much on about threeoccasions.
Um, and it's a muscle and, andso choosing not to drink on
those occasions is a muscle thatyou build.
(05:46):
And I said this to a relativethe other day, who said, who?
People, you know, when you talkabout not drinking.
Actually, if you talk openlyabout drinking and not drinking,
people really do come to youwith their truth.
And the person said, um, youknow, they have a trouble with
the off switch.
Once they start, they kind of goon partying and it's a big
night.
However, they can have quite bigstints and, and even if they
(06:09):
really want to have a drink,they will choose not to.
And I said to that person,that's a muscle that you are
building.
And so that's really good.
That's really good progress.
And so everything is progress,right?
Um, so we've come back and I've,I've not had a drink and I
actually stopped having a drinkhalfway through the holiday
because I thought, you knowwhat?
I don't want to be, uh, having adrink every day on holiday.
(06:32):
It's fine that I've done it.
It's fine, it's fine.
No biggie.
But now I choose not to, andthat is a muscle.
And so that's been some, someprogress.
The.
Thing is in the way.
The other thing that relates tothe wheels coming off Inver,
verted commas, is I was on a 45day meditation streak, and it
(06:53):
started to wobble as we wentaway, and then it just dropped
off.
But there were quite a lot ofdays where I just did one deck,
one meditation a day.
So the Vedic meditation that Ido is twice a day, 2, 2 20
minutes, which does sound like alot, especially to someone
that's never meditated beforeand stuff.
But it's actually.
The, it's actually just theright amount because if you
(07:15):
don't do a decent amount, youkind of don't really feel the
benefits.
And so there were a couple ofdays where I had really crappy
ones where I just wasinterrupted halfway through and
then sax it off, and so, so itwasn't a complete, no, you know,
no show with the meditations.
I did meditate, so that was theother thing that the weather
wheels came off.
And also the other thing was Inoticed, and it's probably
(07:38):
related to the fact that I didhave.
Have a drink.
And I wasn't meditating, Ididn't do my yoga practice.
I definitely got on the floor ofthe hotel room a couple of times
and did a few cat cats and downwith dogs, which is like almost
like my bare minimum type thing.
One day I will share actually alittle practice that I do as my
(07:59):
kind of bare minimum.
Um, my practice has dropped offbasically, is what I'm saying.
And I think that has that, it'slike chicken and egg, like which
came first having a drink madethe TR practices drop off.
Off or practices dropping off,made you have a drink?
Probably both.
A bit of both.
Um, you know, the spiritual lifeis one of, uh, moderation and
(08:21):
they talk about bra carrier,Bram carrier said Bram carrier,
uh, which is moderation.
And also it's one of practice,um, Absa I think that is, uh,
and it is, it's, it's a practiceand it's a daily dedication that
keeps.
Keeps you on track, but when youdo wander off and you will
(08:45):
wander off, it's just like theact of meditation in a wider
spectrum.
You know, it's the act ofmeditation is that your thoughts
wander off and you bring themhome.
The thoughts wander off, youbring it home, uh, you know, you
bring your attention back.
It's exactly the same with, um,with, with your spiritual
practice.
You know, I put a little post onyesterday.
(09:06):
I didn't say too much because Ialso am very careful now about
like where I share because.
I, I think people couldn't bequite judgmental about things
and not understand.
Um, but because I choose toshare fairly openly, uh, I put
on, I just put on about mymeditation practice dropping and
coming home.
And that really is the mostimportant thing.
(09:28):
It's absolutely fine to wanderoff the path, um, but you bring,
bring it home.
Bring it home.
Always choose, you know, today'sa new day, you can bring it
home.
I'm finding all of these things.
Really hard to juggle at theminute.
Um, I, one of the things I'mstruggling with, and this is a
very earthly experience, is I'mreally struggling with feeling
(09:51):
crap every day.
Uh, yesterday my, I had a visualdisturbance.
I was sorting my daughter'sbedroom out and my eyes kind of
felt like they wanted to gocross-eyed, and I sat down and
then I, I felt like I was gonnaget a, a visual migraine, which
I do get sometimes, and I justfelt absolutely exhausted.
(10:11):
And, um, I'm waking up with alot of back ache.
I've got a degenerative disc onone side, and I know these
things are directly affected bymy practice is dropping off by,
on holiday, and by the way, Ido, I do not care that we ate so
much on holiday, but we ate somuch on holiday.
I mean, I tried to make kind ofvaguely healthier choices, you
(10:33):
know, but I'm, I'm very, very,I'm a big food lover and I'm a
big, you know, believer inpleasure and I'm very body
positive, but I've.
Course if you go to an allinclusive, that's kind of part
of the deal.
Uh, and so that's what we did.
And um, you know, you justnaturally eat more.
Like nobody eats three big mealsa day at home, you do when
you're on holiday.
(10:53):
But all of those things have,have created, I guess, a
heaviness when I wake up in themorning, uh, a very sore back
when I wake up in the morning.
And I'm also just exhausted.
Like I had to just stopyesterday.
And then I was, we're battlingwith that self-compassion slash
being hard on myself battle oflike, oh, I wanted to get so
(11:14):
much more done today.
It's the first day with the kidsgoing back.
I wanted to get so much moredone.
And the other way that, um, soI'm, I'm giving myself
compassion around that.
Um, and I am trying to do what Ican.
I'm trying to fast, but it's notgoing, that, it's not, I'm kind
of fasting, but like I'm notbeing too strict about it, you
(11:36):
know?
So like, I'm fasting, but thenlike, I was really hungry, uh, a
couple of evenings ago and I hada banana.
It's like, that's fine.
Uh, so I'm like trying to fast.
I'm trying to have my fastingcoffee in the morning, but like
this morning I'm going toSheffield.
I knew I wouldn't have a chanceto eat until later.
So I had, um, some breakfast.
Uh, but I'm trying to do that,uh, I'm looking again at like,
(11:59):
right.
I've got to implement someweights into my routine.
I, I did a, yeah, I taught yogafor the first time yesterday.
Um, just an online class and,um, I felt so rusty.
I was so wobbly.
I was so sore.
I, my, my queuing was off.
I was like stumbling over mywords.
(12:19):
Oh, all of it.
The wheels came off.
And one more way in which thewheels have come off relating to
all of this is my, um, faith inmyself.
Like I had a whole career wobbleon holiday.
This happens all the time to meas well.
Like you go.
On holiday and you have achance, I think, to sit back and
(12:40):
reflect, and I'm sure I'm notalone in this, but I was like,
I, I was looking at nursingdegrees again.
I was looking at teaching againand I really wanted to just
think,'cause I'm very much atthis crux, at this kind of
midway point.
If I've got, if I'm lucky, I'mat midway point, right?
It could be a little less thanthat, but I'm like, if I'm gonna
(13:00):
retrain, it has to be now.
It has to be now.
'cause I'm 45 and that's alreadyreally late.
And so I'm thinking thesethings.
All the time being anentrepreneur in this space where
money is not, you know, what I'mdoing right now is not giving,
bringing in much money, havingwobbles, having imposter
(13:21):
syndrome, thinking that all thesame thoughts.
I'm not very good at yoga.
I'm not good enough at yoga.
You know, all of these things.
I'm not, um, a good enoughteacher.
I'm not, you know, the peoplethat come into my class, there's
not enough people.
Am I doing all of theself-doubt?
All of it, just all of itcompounds, doesn't it?
(13:42):
With the meditation, droppingoff that decision to have a
drink and all of it is sobeautifully human as well.
Um, so massive compassion tomyself throughout all of this.
And I just wanted to kind ofprocess it, I guess, and I guess
the, the, the title of thispodcast episode is The Wheels
Came Off.
(14:02):
You know, I was thinking, why amI doing a podcast?
Nobody's listening.
Why am I writing a.
Substack that I hardly everwrite anyway.
Nobody's reading and all of it,you know?
And then it made me think, well,what defines success?
Like really what definessuccess?
I guess looking back at myYouTube channel that's viewed as
successful because it's got afew thousand and it's like 7,000
(14:22):
subscribers or something.
I mean, at what number do we gothat's successful?
Is it successful because you'redoing it?
You know, if a primary schoolteacher is a primary school
teacher, do we say,congratulations?
You're a primary.
Primary school teacher, you'redoing it, you're successful.
Or do we go, oh, you got, youknow, you're not successful and
you, unless you've got a primaryschool teacher of the year, or
(14:45):
unless you made head teacher,you know, at which level do we
say you're successful in whatyou're doing?
And then you examine the reasonsfor what you're doing.
Like, am I teaching yoga to beof service to people or am I
doing it to have ego, to be, oh,Rachel Brady Yoga.
You know, and you have toexamine these things and, and
(15:05):
this is all going around myhead, all.
The time because I do want tobring money in for my family.
I do want to leave my mark onthe world, which I was saying to
my husband, like, I do want toleave my mark on the world.
And I have to remember that theway I'm leaving my mark on the
world, the greatest way I'mdoing that is through having my
children.
And of course all of thesethings add stress.
(15:25):
All of these things add stress.
And make me a snappy parent.
I'm also going throughperimenopause is really starting
to take his toll.
Um, you know, I'm mom of theyear.
I'm like this really lovely mom.
And then I'm just, I literallyscream at the kids out of
nowhere talking to mysister-in-law about this, and it
(15:46):
just comes from nowhere.
And then I apolo, I'mapologizing to them and I can
see.
See that they're impacted by it.
Um, and it's like compassion formyself, but also like, I've got
to work on this.
So it's like, how do I removethe stresses out of my life a
little bit more so that I canjust create space around the
most important job, which isbeing a mother.
(16:08):
You know, I was looking up theterm calmer yogi the other day,
uh, thinking about, uh, what theterm karma yogi means.
And it actually means somebodywho devotes their life to
whatever they're doing withcomplete and utter devotion and
servitude, uh, in the highestway.
And so it got me thinking abouthow being a mom when I've had
(16:31):
these periods where I'm like,I'm just gonna be a mom.
And I, I always slip into that.
Just, you know, there's no justabout it, but it's deciding to
be a mom all encompassing.
That's my focus.
And it's like I keep slippingback to.
That's what I should do.
That is what I should do.
But then I'll pull an Angel cardand it'll say, you know, you
(16:52):
are, you have the last night'sAngel card.
When I was thinking this exacttrain of thought, it said, you
know, you have the capacity tobe a leader at this time.
You are pure potential.
Like, don't forget your originalintentions.
And I'm like, and stop showingme these message.
Because I feel like, I feel likethere's pressure to keep showing
up, but then it's like I knowwhat I would advise somebody to
(17:15):
do if they said this to me, andthat would be just, just keep
putting one foot in front of thenext, keep doing your practices
and also surrender.
Like surrender to the path infront of you.
Stop trying to control itbecause you think you know what
that means, but you might notknow what it means because God
has a greater plan for for youthan what you think it might be.
You know?
(17:36):
Um, and also keep going towardsthe things that bring you light
and love.
And in that respect, I I, I justshifted my office out of one of
the rooms downstairs because Ijust felt selfish, like I wasn't
using it enough and it needs tobe a spare room.
So I, I'm turning it into aspare room at some point.
But, um, also, all my officestuff is dumped in a corner and
in amongst it is like a hundredessential oils or whatever.
(17:59):
And I, you know, I walk past, Igrab one, I use them.
I use an essential oil at leastonce.
Today.
I love them.
They give me so much joy, andit's like going back to the
things that give you joy, butthere's so much tied up around,
in my mind, tied up around thoseessential oils.
You know, uh, how do I sharethis love of essential oils with
other people?
(18:20):
Um, and also the fact that the,the company that I'm with is a
direct marketing company.
People have an attitude andpeople have a perception about
that.
That I struggle with and italways gets in the way of
everything.
Um, but it's like that aside,it's like what I think I need to
do is just keep moving towardsthe things that I love and
sharing them with integrity andthe people that want that will
(18:44):
come to me.
Right.
Um, yeah, I just wanted tounpack all of that today and
hope that it resonates reallywith any moms.
Trying to juggle and trying todo something outside of the home
and, and trying to have a levelof spiritual health in their
life as well.
Um, and so how does it relate toall of that?
(19:04):
Well, it's like your biggestdharma and your biggest life
purpose if you're a mommy, is tobe a mommy.
Like it's.
You know, we are here for that,but, but that doesn't
necessarily mean we have to, wehave to only be mom.
Right.
Uh, and so it's like being herein the present here in the
present, the here and the hereand now meditating, practicing
(19:28):
baking bread.
Like yesterday I was.
So tired, but I thought, I justwanna do one thing today.
I just wanna like, well I didmore than one thing, but, um, I
was feeling really tired, but Ithought I, I actually really
want to bake some bread, uh,because it just speaks to that
groundedness and thathomelessness and, and, um,
helping the kids eat better andeat better.
So, I made some sourdough, itwas disastrous.
(19:50):
I got the rest be completelywrong'cause I've not made it for
ages.
I, I'd like put in twice as muchwater as what you should do.
So I had to.
Chuck in loads more flour, butI'd run out of sourdough starter
for it.
'cause you have to save a bit tocontinue the starter, obviously.
And so I was like, oh crap, thisisn't gonna work.
And then it worked.
I was like, what?
Anyway, I did the whole thingmyself.
Normally Adam helps me at theend by shaping them and like.
(20:12):
Of stuff, you know, making itlike nice at the end.
Um, but I just lobbed it in.
He did help me with putting,with, um, note telling me when
to get'em out the oven andstuff.
But, you know, they're wonky ashell, but they're brilliant.
And I just thought, this is it.
This is the metaphor, like iswonky, but it's beautiful.
And that kind of sums up whereI'm at in my life right now.
(20:35):
Um, my life feels really good,but also I've got all this stuff
worrying around my head.
I'm also aware that a lot of theworrying around my head is my A
DHD.
Um, and, and what I keep writingin my journal is keep it simple
and I keep writing the wordconsolidate, consolidate,
consolidate, teach my tiny yogaclasses.
(20:57):
Record the odd podcast, writethe odd post.
That's enough.
It's more than enough.
Like that is what I would say tosomebody else.
And I always think it's good tothink, what would you tell
somebody else in this positionis like, that's what you should
do, so I'll leave it there.
It really helped me just sharingthat and, and I think I need to
be braver as well, sharing myepisodes because one of the
(21:18):
reasons I don't think my podcastis kind of being listened to by
many people obviously is becauseI'm not sharing it very much.
Uh.
That's because I'm worried andthinking it's not good enough.
And, and that's, you know, ifyou're putting something out
there in the world with yourheart in it, it's good enough,
right?
Somebody's gonna relate to itand resonate with it.
(21:40):
And so I'm gonna leave it there.
I'm actually off to get a tattootoday, which is rather exciting.
Uh, it's my second tattoo and soI will post it later and share.
I'm not even sure where it'sgoing.
Uh, but it's a beautiful designwith the sun and the moon and
the ocean depicted in it, uh,and a couple of other elements
as well.
(22:00):
So I will share that later.
And please follow me atInstagram on at Rachel Brady
Yoga.
Um, I'm putting on somein-person, uh, workshops and
I've got a few in-person thingsgoing on.
Whoops.
Uh, but I've also got onlineyoga now is gonna be twice a
week.
So please check out my website.
I do it wherever you are in theworld.
You can yoga with me because Ido two classes a week online.
(22:23):
Uh, and leave a comment if anyof this resonated with you.
Alright, bye for now.
Conscious but Grounded is a podcast about
spirituality, high vibe livingin the real world.
I ask questions like, how do weconnect to the magic?
The spirit, the source, theuniverse, but with our feet
firmly planted on the ground.
How do we show up in a consciousway and harness that to make
big, paradigm busting change inthe day to day of our lives?
(00:23):
I'm Rachel Brady, mum of three,yoga teacher and embodiment
coach.
This is the place where I'll bereflecting and exploring big,
deep questions, all with a pinchof self deprecation, a few
proper lols, and a lot of reallife.
Join me.
Hello there.
Welcome back to Conscious Book.
(00:43):
Grounded.
Uh, I feel really rusty.
Actually, I've not recorded fora while.
Um, we've been on holiday, it'sbeen used to holidays and also
I've got a couple of episodesjust to back up with.
Um, but then I saw in my diary Iwas.
Recording with a guest tomorrow.
So, um, I thought, you know,it'd be really nice actually to
(01:05):
just record myself first, justto get back in the swing.
Uh, and, and then I'm actuallyin the car driving Sheffield,
and as you know, if you'velistened before, a lot of my
episodes are done whilst I'm inthe car or whilst I'm walking
the dog, uh, having a coffeeand, and just kind of feeling.
Like, I'd love to share, um, andI was just thinking like I
(01:26):
always do, or what is it I wantto share on today?
And there's so many differentthings that I want to talk to
you about in the realm, withinthe realm of how to be, you
know, a spiritual person in thereal world.
And I think I'll just make thisa chatty one and maybe at the
end there'll be a theme thatcomes up.
And so I thought, you know, alsoI feel like this helped me so
(01:47):
much to process, like I processlike this, um, by writing.
And speaking and it, it, I justfind it really helpful.
And um, one of the things that Ithought, well, that's definitely
something on my mind recently,one of the things is that, yeah,
we've been away for, we wentaway for 10 nights, but the
Easter holidays was obviouslytwo weeks.
Um, and then some,'cause ithasn't bank holiday as well.
(02:10):
Um, and before then, I don'tthink I'd recorded for a while.
Uh, not, it wasn't too long,maybe a week or so.
And like I say, I've got acouple of episodes, just chatty
ones, um, where it's just mejust to upload.
And I, you know, what happens,right?
Okay.
So if you know me or if you'vechatted to me or been been on
social, you might have heard mesay this before, which is that I
(02:32):
find, um, term time to be myhealth most healthy, productive,
settled time.
And that probably speaks somehowto my neurodivergence.
However, it's, I, I, I justthrive better in that kind of
routine when I've got my ownspace to make progress, even if
it's small progress on.
(02:52):
Things like the house and, uh,routines and, you know, my own
healthy habits and things likethat.
I find it easier to doeverything during term time when
it's the holidays.
Don't get me wrong, I'm excitedtoo by the like, yay.
No more like school dashing outthe door for school in the
morning and like spending timewith the kids.
Like I always joke like, oh God,uh, get them back to school.
(03:15):
I love spending time with thekids.
However, it is hard, like, youknow, we've got three kids and
that is hard.
All different ages.
You know, a couple of them areneuro diverse.
I wouldn't be surprised if allare, to be honest.
Um, so I do find holidays hardand, and the amount of times,
uh, where I, I will, I alwaysuse the phrase the wheels came
(03:36):
off, like the wheels came offwhen the holidays.
And honestly, to some degreeduring this holiday, the wheels
came off.
And I suppose that's what I'llstart with today, which is that
I had, uh, quite, I had a fewdays on holiday, uh, where I had
a drink and then I.
And before the holiday as well.
And so I'd got to about threemonths.
(03:56):
Uh, sobriety wise, and this islike a pattern for me, but like
there is growth because, um, Iwill do, I used to do less than
three months and then break mysobriety.
I mean, nothing bad happened.
I enjoyed myself.
I, you know, it for peoplelooking in and people do say
(04:17):
this to me, like, why do you tryand do it then?
Like, if, if it's okay, if it'skind of okay.
And I guess the answer is I justfeel so much healthier when I
don't drink.
Um, I have had a, definitely hada rocky history with alcohol.
Um, and I have delicate mentalhealth and it absolutely does
not help the mental health.
(04:39):
And some people, it doesn'taffect them in that way.
And that's fine.
Uh, it definitely does.
Me, you know, I found that Icoped in averted commas very
well with drinking.
It was fine.
I.
Um, I, I didn't wanna drink anddrink and drink.
I, I easily stopped.
Um, I ended up having acigarette every time I drank and
(05:03):
only one.
And I only had a couple ofdrinks, but like, again, like
people might like look onprobably less so with smoking
and go, well, what's the problemthen?
Like, it sounds okay if you onlydo that on holidays.
And I've definitely given myselfgrace around that.
I'm like, I don't future tripabout it now, and I don't like,
make myself future promises and.
Also that does adhere to thekind of outlook of like one day
(05:24):
at a time in terms of, you know,just for today you choose not to
drink.
And I've done that since I'vegot back, uh, despite wanting to
drink very much on about threeoccasions.
Um, and it's a muscle and, andso choosing not to drink on
those occasions is a muscle thatyou build.
(05:46):
And I said this to a relativethe other day, who said, who?
People, you know, when you talkabout not drinking.
Actually, if you talk openlyabout drinking and not drinking,
people really do come to youwith their truth.
And the person said, um, youknow, they have a trouble with
the off switch.
Once they start, they kind of goon partying and it's a big
night.
However, they can have quite bigstints and, and even if they
(06:09):
really want to have a drink,they will choose not to.
And I said to that person,that's a muscle that you are
building.
And so that's really good.
That's really good progress.
And so everything is progress,right?
Um, so we've come back and I've,I've not had a drink and I
actually stopped having a drinkhalfway through the holiday
because I thought, you knowwhat?
I don't want to be, uh, having adrink every day on holiday.
(06:32):
It's fine that I've done it.
It's fine, it's fine.
No biggie.
But now I choose not to, andthat is a muscle.
And so that's been some, someprogress.
The.
Thing is in the way.
The other thing that relates tothe wheels coming off Inver,
verted commas, is I was on a 45day meditation streak, and it
(06:53):
started to wobble as we wentaway, and then it just dropped
off.
But there were quite a lot ofdays where I just did one deck,
one meditation a day.
So the Vedic meditation that Ido is twice a day, 2, 2 20
minutes, which does sound like alot, especially to someone
that's never meditated beforeand stuff.
But it's actually.
The, it's actually just theright amount because if you
(07:15):
don't do a decent amount, youkind of don't really feel the
benefits.
And so there were a couple ofdays where I had really crappy
ones where I just wasinterrupted halfway through and
then sax it off, and so, so itwasn't a complete, no, you know,
no show with the meditations.
I did meditate, so that was theother thing that the weather
wheels came off.
And also the other thing was Inoticed, and it's probably
(07:38):
related to the fact that I didhave.
Have a drink.
And I wasn't meditating, Ididn't do my yoga practice.
I definitely got on the floor ofthe hotel room a couple of times
and did a few cat cats and downwith dogs, which is like almost
like my bare minimum type thing.
One day I will share actually alittle practice that I do as my
(07:59):
kind of bare minimum.
Um, my practice has dropped offbasically, is what I'm saying.
And I think that has that, it'slike chicken and egg, like which
came first having a drink madethe TR practices drop off.
Off or practices dropping off,made you have a drink?
Probably both.
A bit of both.
Um, you know, the spiritual lifeis one of, uh, moderation and
(08:21):
they talk about bra carrier,Bram carrier said Bram carrier,
uh, which is moderation.
And also it's one of practice,um, Absa I think that is, uh,
and it is, it's, it's a practiceand it's a daily dedication that
keeps.
Keeps you on track, but when youdo wander off and you will
(08:45):
wander off, it's just like theact of meditation in a wider
spectrum.
You know, it's the act ofmeditation is that your thoughts
wander off and you bring themhome.
The thoughts wander off, youbring it home, uh, you know, you
bring your attention back.
It's exactly the same with, um,with, with your spiritual
practice.
You know, I put a little post onyesterday.
(09:06):
I didn't say too much because Ialso am very careful now about
like where I share because.
I, I think people couldn't bequite judgmental about things
and not understand.
Um, but because I choose toshare fairly openly, uh, I put
on, I just put on about mymeditation practice dropping and
coming home.
And that really is the mostimportant thing.
(09:28):
It's absolutely fine to wanderoff the path, um, but you bring,
bring it home.
Bring it home.
Always choose, you know, today'sa new day, you can bring it
home.
I'm finding all of these things.
Really hard to juggle at theminute.
Um, I, one of the things I'mstruggling with, and this is a
very earthly experience, is I'mreally struggling with feeling
(09:51):
crap every day.
Uh, yesterday my, I had a visualdisturbance.
I was sorting my daughter'sbedroom out and my eyes kind of
felt like they wanted to gocross-eyed, and I sat down and
then I, I felt like I was gonnaget a, a visual migraine, which
I do get sometimes, and I justfelt absolutely exhausted.
(10:11):
And, um, I'm waking up with alot of back ache.
I've got a degenerative disc onone side, and I know these
things are directly affected bymy practice is dropping off by,
on holiday, and by the way, Ido, I do not care that we ate so
much on holiday, but we ate somuch on holiday.
I mean, I tried to make kind ofvaguely healthier choices, you
(10:33):
know, but I'm, I'm very, very,I'm a big food lover and I'm a
big, you know, believer inpleasure and I'm very body
positive, but I've.
Course if you go to an allinclusive, that's kind of part
of the deal.
Uh, and so that's what we did.
And um, you know, you justnaturally eat more.
Like nobody eats three big mealsa day at home, you do when
you're on holiday.
(10:53):
But all of those things have,have created, I guess, a
heaviness when I wake up in themorning, uh, a very sore back
when I wake up in the morning.
And I'm also just exhausted.
Like I had to just stopyesterday.
And then I was, we're battlingwith that self-compassion slash
being hard on myself battle oflike, oh, I wanted to get so
(11:14):
much more done today.
It's the first day with the kidsgoing back.
I wanted to get so much moredone.
And the other way that, um, soI'm, I'm giving myself
compassion around that.
Um, and I am trying to do what Ican.
I'm trying to fast, but it's notgoing, that, it's not, I'm kind
of fasting, but like I'm notbeing too strict about it, you
(11:36):
know?
So like, I'm fasting, but thenlike, I was really hungry, uh, a
couple of evenings ago and I hada banana.
It's like, that's fine.
Uh, so I'm like trying to fast.
I'm trying to have my fastingcoffee in the morning, but like
this morning I'm going toSheffield.
I knew I wouldn't have a chanceto eat until later.
So I had, um, some breakfast.
Uh, but I'm trying to do that,uh, I'm looking again at like,
(11:59):
right.
I've got to implement someweights into my routine.
I, I did a, yeah, I taught yogafor the first time yesterday.
Um, just an online class and,um, I felt so rusty.
I was so wobbly.
I was so sore.
I, my, my queuing was off.
I was like stumbling over mywords.
(12:19):
Oh, all of it.
The wheels came off.
And one more way in which thewheels have come off relating to
all of this is my, um, faith inmyself.
Like I had a whole career wobbleon holiday.
This happens all the time to meas well.
Like you go.
On holiday and you have achance, I think, to sit back and
(12:40):
reflect, and I'm sure I'm notalone in this, but I was like,
I, I was looking at nursingdegrees again.
I was looking at teaching againand I really wanted to just
think,'cause I'm very much atthis crux, at this kind of
midway point.
If I've got, if I'm lucky, I'mat midway point, right?
It could be a little less thanthat, but I'm like, if I'm gonna
(13:00):
retrain, it has to be now.
It has to be now.
'cause I'm 45 and that's alreadyreally late.
And so I'm thinking thesethings.
All the time being anentrepreneur in this space where
money is not, you know, what I'mdoing right now is not giving,
bringing in much money, havingwobbles, having imposter
(13:21):
syndrome, thinking that all thesame thoughts.
I'm not very good at yoga.
I'm not good enough at yoga.
You know, all of these things.
I'm not, um, a good enoughteacher.
I'm not, you know, the peoplethat come into my class, there's
not enough people.
Am I doing all of theself-doubt?
All of it, just all of itcompounds, doesn't it?
(13:42):
With the meditation, droppingoff that decision to have a
drink and all of it is sobeautifully human as well.
Um, so massive compassion tomyself throughout all of this.
And I just wanted to kind ofprocess it, I guess, and I guess
the, the, the title of thispodcast episode is The Wheels
Came Off.
(14:02):
You know, I was thinking, why amI doing a podcast?
Nobody's listening.
Why am I writing a.
Substack that I hardly everwrite anyway.
Nobody's reading and all of it,you know?
And then it made me think, well,what defines success?
Like really what definessuccess?
I guess looking back at myYouTube channel that's viewed as
successful because it's got afew thousand and it's like 7,000
(14:22):
subscribers or something.
I mean, at what number do we gothat's successful?
Is it successful because you'redoing it?
You know, if a primary schoolteacher is a primary school
teacher, do we say,congratulations?
You're a primary.
Primary school teacher, you'redoing it, you're successful.
Or do we go, oh, you got, youknow, you're not successful and
you, unless you've got a primaryschool teacher of the year, or
(14:45):
unless you made head teacher,you know, at which level do we
say you're successful in whatyou're doing?
And then you examine the reasonsfor what you're doing.
Like, am I teaching yoga to beof service to people or am I
doing it to have ego, to be, oh,Rachel Brady Yoga.
You know, and you have toexamine these things and, and
(15:05):
this is all going around myhead, all.
The time because I do want tobring money in for my family.
I do want to leave my mark onthe world, which I was saying to
my husband, like, I do want toleave my mark on the world.
And I have to remember that theway I'm leaving my mark on the
world, the greatest way I'mdoing that is through having my
children.
And of course all of thesethings add stress.
(15:25):
All of these things add stress.
And make me a snappy parent.
I'm also going throughperimenopause is really starting
to take his toll.
Um, you know, I'm mom of theyear.
I'm like this really lovely mom.
And then I'm just, I literallyscream at the kids out of
nowhere talking to mysister-in-law about this, and it
(15:46):
just comes from nowhere.
And then I apolo, I'mapologizing to them and I can
see.
See that they're impacted by it.
Um, and it's like compassion formyself, but also like, I've got
to work on this.
So it's like, how do I removethe stresses out of my life a
little bit more so that I canjust create space around the
most important job, which isbeing a mother.
(16:08):
You know, I was looking up theterm calmer yogi the other day,
uh, thinking about, uh, what theterm karma yogi means.
And it actually means somebodywho devotes their life to
whatever they're doing withcomplete and utter devotion and
servitude, uh, in the highestway.
And so it got me thinking abouthow being a mom when I've had
(16:31):
these periods where I'm like,I'm just gonna be a mom.
And I, I always slip into that.
Just, you know, there's no justabout it, but it's deciding to
be a mom all encompassing.
That's my focus.
And it's like I keep slippingback to.
That's what I should do.
That is what I should do.
But then I'll pull an Angel cardand it'll say, you know, you
(16:52):
are, you have the last night'sAngel card.
When I was thinking this exacttrain of thought, it said, you
know, you have the capacity tobe a leader at this time.
You are pure potential.
Like, don't forget your originalintentions.
And I'm like, and stop showingme these message.
Because I feel like, I feel likethere's pressure to keep showing
up, but then it's like I knowwhat I would advise somebody to
(17:15):
do if they said this to me, andthat would be just, just keep
putting one foot in front of thenext, keep doing your practices
and also surrender.
Like surrender to the path infront of you.
Stop trying to control itbecause you think you know what
that means, but you might notknow what it means because God
has a greater plan for for youthan what you think it might be.
You know?
(17:36):
Um, and also keep going towardsthe things that bring you light
and love.
And in that respect, I I, I justshifted my office out of one of
the rooms downstairs because Ijust felt selfish, like I wasn't
using it enough and it needs tobe a spare room.
So I, I'm turning it into aspare room at some point.
But, um, also, all my officestuff is dumped in a corner and
in amongst it is like a hundredessential oils or whatever.
(17:59):
And I, you know, I walk past, Igrab one, I use them.
I use an essential oil at leastonce.
Today.
I love them.
They give me so much joy, andit's like going back to the
things that give you joy, butthere's so much tied up around,
in my mind, tied up around thoseessential oils.
You know, uh, how do I sharethis love of essential oils with
other people?
(18:20):
Um, and also the fact that the,the company that I'm with is a
direct marketing company.
People have an attitude andpeople have a perception about
that.
That I struggle with and italways gets in the way of
everything.
Um, but it's like that aside,it's like what I think I need to
do is just keep moving towardsthe things that I love and
sharing them with integrity andthe people that want that will
(18:44):
come to me.
Right.
Um, yeah, I just wanted tounpack all of that today and
hope that it resonates reallywith any moms.
Trying to juggle and trying todo something outside of the home
and, and trying to have a levelof spiritual health in their
life as well.
Um, and so how does it relate toall of that?
(19:04):
Well, it's like your biggestdharma and your biggest life
purpose if you're a mommy, is tobe a mommy.
Like it's.
You know, we are here for that,but, but that doesn't
necessarily mean we have to, wehave to only be mom.
Right.
Uh, and so it's like being herein the present here in the
present, the here and the hereand now meditating, practicing
(19:28):
baking bread.
Like yesterday I was.
So tired, but I thought, I justwanna do one thing today.
I just wanna like, well I didmore than one thing, but, um, I
was feeling really tired, but Ithought I, I actually really
want to bake some bread, uh,because it just speaks to that
groundedness and thathomelessness and, and, um,
helping the kids eat better andeat better.
So, I made some sourdough, itwas disastrous.
(19:50):
I got the rest be completelywrong'cause I've not made it for
ages.
I, I'd like put in twice as muchwater as what you should do.
So I had to.
Chuck in loads more flour, butI'd run out of sourdough starter
for it.
'cause you have to save a bit tocontinue the starter, obviously.
And so I was like, oh crap, thisisn't gonna work.
And then it worked.
I was like, what?
Anyway, I did the whole thingmyself.
Normally Adam helps me at theend by shaping them and like.
(20:12):
Of stuff, you know, making itlike nice at the end.
Um, but I just lobbed it in.
He did help me with putting,with, um, note telling me when
to get'em out the oven andstuff.
But, you know, they're wonky ashell, but they're brilliant.
And I just thought, this is it.
This is the metaphor, like iswonky, but it's beautiful.
And that kind of sums up whereI'm at in my life right now.
(20:35):
Um, my life feels really good,but also I've got all this stuff
worrying around my head.
I'm also aware that a lot of theworrying around my head is my A
DHD.
Um, and, and what I keep writingin my journal is keep it simple
and I keep writing the wordconsolidate, consolidate,
consolidate, teach my tiny yogaclasses.
(20:57):
Record the odd podcast, writethe odd post.
That's enough.
It's more than enough.
Like that is what I would say tosomebody else.
And I always think it's good tothink, what would you tell
somebody else in this positionis like, that's what you should
do, so I'll leave it there.
It really helped me just sharingthat and, and I think I need to
be braver as well, sharing myepisodes because one of the
(21:18):
reasons I don't think my podcastis kind of being listened to by
many people obviously is becauseI'm not sharing it very much.
Uh.
That's because I'm worried andthinking it's not good enough.
And, and that's, you know, ifyou're putting something out
there in the world with yourheart in it, it's good enough,
right?
Somebody's gonna relate to itand resonate with it.
(21:40):
And so I'm gonna leave it there.
I'm actually off to get a tattootoday, which is rather exciting.
Uh, it's my second tattoo and soI will post it later and share.
I'm not even sure where it'sgoing.
Uh, but it's a beautiful designwith the sun and the moon and
the ocean depicted in it, uh,and a couple of other elements
as well.
(22:00):
So I will share that later.
And please follow me atInstagram on at Rachel Brady
Yoga.
Um, I'm putting on somein-person, uh, workshops and
I've got a few in-person thingsgoing on.
Whoops.
Uh, but I've also got onlineyoga now is gonna be twice a
week.
So please check out my website.
I do it wherever you are in theworld.
You can yoga with me because Ido two classes a week online.
(22:23):
Uh, and leave a comment if anyof this resonated with you.
Alright, bye for now.
Popular Podcasts
Crime Junkie
Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.