June 3, 2025 • 22 mins
In this episode I talk about devotion - in particular as a householder and a mum of 3. How are we approaching our lives and the job of caring? Phew!
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Hey! I'm Rachel! I am a qualified Holistic Life Coach and Mind Body Practitioner, Embodiment Coach, Yoga 500hrs (plus lots more extra yoga quals). I'm also an award winning content creator and have 20 years' experience in digital. I'm a mum of 3 kids and I live in the Peak District - oh and I have ADHD and I am sober. My passion is helping midlife women turn meltdown into magic!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Rachel Brady's video (00:01):
Conscious but Grounded is a podcast about
spirituality, high vibe livingin the real world.
I ask questions like, how do weconnect to the magic?
The spirit, the source, theuniverse, but with our feet
firmly planted on the ground.
How do we show up in a consciousway and harness that to make
big, paradigm busting change inthe day to day of our lives?
(00:23):
I'm Rachel Brady, mum of three,yoga teacher and embodiment
coach.
This is the place where I'll bereflecting and exploring big,
deep questions, all with a pinchof self deprecation, a few
proper lols, and a lot of reallife.
Join me.
Hi, welcome back to ConsciousBook Grounded, another journey
(00:45):
in the car, another, uh, yogaclass to take.
Um, and so I'm Rachel.
If this is the first time you'velistened.
I'm a mom of three.
Uh, the kids are now six, 12,and 14, and we live in the, like
a renovated farmhouse in the PEdistrict.
I used to be a kind of mummyYouTuber lifestyle, kind of
(01:10):
accidental, accidental lifestyleblogger, um, uh, and family food
kind of blogger.
And I kind of fell out of lovewith that.
A little bit of that five yearsago had a spot of depression,
which turned into a diagnosisfor DHD and I've been on a kind
of spiritual healing journeyever since.
(01:30):
And, uh, on a sober journey thatis not linear.
I'm.
Having a big reset at the minuteafter drinking a couple of times
recently.
Nothing bad happened, but I justdon't feel like it belongs in my
life anymore.
Um, and sometimes I'll dip mytoe back in the water and then
go, yeah, it still doesn't feelgood, even though I was like
tempted to do it again.
And anyway, anyway, anyway, Idigress a lot.
(01:53):
That's me.
This podcast is all aboutspirituality in the real world.
Maybe I should have called itthat.
Uh, it's called conscious.
But grounded, because groundedfor me means like, I'm here, I'm
present.
I'm in the real world.
I'm washing the dishes, I'mtaking my kids to school, and
I'm trying to be a betterperson.
(02:13):
Uh, and that, that's the kind ofconscious part of it.
So keeping in touch with ourspirituality whilst having our
foot, feet.
Firmly planted on the ground, Iguess is what you could say.
And then I try and record on thefly because otherwise I didn't
think I would record.
So I'm trying to do this podcastreally, rather than as an act of
ego, but it helps me process.
(02:34):
And I think in the act of medoing that, uh, and talking
about all the things that I'mkind of learning, uh, and trying
to embody on this journey, maybethat I'll touch somebody else,
uh, somebody else's heart or.
Have an impact on them.
Uh, I also interview people aspart of this, um, podcast, but
that has been quite slow to takeoff just because it's so
(02:57):
difficult to pin people down andpin me down.
And I've had to cancel a coupleof times.
But we do have some really goodinterviews coming up, so, um,
keep your ears open for that.
Uh, so today I thought, well,what can I talk about?
And I just shared something onmy Instagram.
It was the Taurus New Moonyesterday.
Uh, I actually thought it wasthe other day and I did a whole
(03:18):
new Moon ritual.
And pulled some tarots and thenI realized, oh, it was actually
yesterday.
Nevermind.
It's fine.
Um, and I shared a post by thebrilliant Instagram account,
moon Omens.
I was having a sip of my coffeethere and it's sad.
Something which I really like.
So Taurus is a very groundedpresence.
(03:42):
Um, and the star sign is a verygrounded, steady, stable force
as well.
And I.
Feel like, uh, well, what I'veheard people talk about, you
know, astrologers, astrologersand so on, is that the minute
it's like put down roots at theminute in the things that you
really want to put down rootsin.
But if you're putting down rootsin things that you aren't
(04:04):
actually seeing as something forthe rest of your life, whether
it's relationships or career,um, or anything really, then,
then now is the time to uproot.
Like don't put roots down whereyou don't want to put roots
down.
Really what.
Put roots down.
And the message that I shared onInstagram today was tourist.
(04:25):
The tourist new Moon invites usto come from a place of devotion
rather than performance.
And I really love that.
Like the word devotion to me isso beautiful.
It's um, it just talks, speaksto me of like unconditional
love.
It's very spiritual.
(04:46):
And it really made me thinkabout my love and devotion.
To my family, even though theywould be like, what?
You're in a bad mood half thetime, but like, that's just
perimenopause.
You know, I've really triedrecently to come into more of a
space of, I think I mentioned inthe last episode, you know, you
(05:10):
might have heard the phrasecalmer yogi.
So a calmer yogi is somebodythat just does things purely for
the act of devotion.
And I mean, it's not verypractical in today's world.
It's, it's so expensive to liveand so on.
Uh, but.
Karma Yogi, for example, I firstheard the term army, my first
ever yoga teacher training whenthere was someone there just
helping out and that was, theywere being a karma yogi.
(05:33):
Um, I suppose it's to get goodkarma for one of a, you know,
that's a very overoversimplification of the term
karma.
But, um, I think it made methink of the selfless acts that
we do as mothers and also reallyleaning into the devotional act
(05:53):
of love.
Um, in the tiny gestures that wedo, you know, school pickup,
washing, the dishes that Imentioned before, they are
important acts of love.
And, you know, I don't wannaframe this as though, like
right, well, women should justdo everything and feel like
we're, we should be grateful fordoing it, of course not.
(06:14):
Like there is also, of course,like a fair division of labor
and there's nothing wrong withgetting, helping.
All of those things are part ofthis as well, like getting help
in.
I've got someone coming onFriday.
I think we've decided now thatshe's just gonna come kind of ad
hoc to help me because I feltlike once a week was too much.
(06:34):
Um, but then every now and thenI am like, gosh, I wish she was
there to help.
And so that's part of mydevotion to having a warm,
comfortable, cozy, clean ish,tidy ish home in inviting,
welcoming space, uh, for thekids yesterday in my, uh,
advanced suit.
(06:54):
Training that I do, which iswhere we study the yoga sutures,
which is probably the most keyyoga text.
One of the things we talkedabout, we were talking about the
Yama and the Yama, and so theYama and the Yama are the first,
are the the first and second ofthe eight limbs of yoga, and
they talk about ways that we cantreat other people, you know,
(07:16):
the rules for treating otherpeople and the rules for how we
treat ourself.
And we talked about the factthat there's actually two.
Uh, yoga sutures.
There's only one for each Yamaand Nema, but there's two for
the one sat for the ni yamaCher.
Is it a Yama or Nira?
It doesn't matter which it is.
Um, so it's how we treatourselves.
(07:37):
So, and Cher is cleanliness andthere's two yoga sutures written
about this, which talk, whichgives an indication of how
important spiritual, you know,and physical and homely
cleanliness is and how it reallyis a spiritual act.
And we were talking about thisin the group and it really
speaks.
To my soul because even though Iwas a disgusting teenager and
(07:58):
really an appallingly, messy,gross, like untidy student, you
know, our house was appalling.
Uh, and then every now and thenwe'd just bliss and it'd be
lovely.
And then we'd be like, we shouldlive like this all the time.
And then it just like went toshit again, like within two
days.
Um, but you learn, you learnthese things.
(08:18):
Like we look at our kids,especially the teenagers, and
we're like, oh my God, it's sodisgusting in here, da da.
So frustrating, blah, blah,blah.
And I have to remind myself,look, you were an absolute shit
show, so don't expect them to beany different.
You know, because you have, theonly way to learn is to get out
into the world and live on yourown and, and have no one picking
(08:39):
up after you up right.
And no one cooking your mealsand no one filling.
With food.
No one does your washing, andthat is the only way to learn is
to have to do it yourself.
Um, and so when we were talkingabout the importance of socher,
uh, cleanliness, you know,cleanliness of.
Our homes of our bodies, of ourminds, of our emotions.
(09:02):
It's really spoke to me about,um, yeah, God, it really is a
spiritual act.
It really is.
Um, to be a carer, you know, thecarers of the world are the most
important people of all, becausewithout the carers.
Like when I've had thisdiscussion with my mom, we've
(09:24):
had this discussion a lotbecause I've really like the
struggle of my life and that'swhy I thought it's a good thing
to talk about today.
'cause it's very much a part ofmy story has been how can I be a
present homemaker and mother.
Um, you know, a house, ahouseholder, a yoga householder.
How can I be a householder andlive my purpose?
(09:45):
And like I'm, I'm still workingon that.
Um, and now the kids are gettinga bit older.
It's like, okay, I think now Ican step up what I'm doing a bit
more.
Um, and it's like the phrasethat we started with at the
start of this, and what I'mgonna call this podcast is
devotion.
Like instead of performance, so.
(10:07):
Let's think about the wordperformance as an antithesis to
the word devotion.
So a performance is like, we dothe thing'cause we've gotta do
the thing.
And we also probably, we mightbe doing it for an ulterior
motive, like praise, or we mightbe doing it for like, um, almost
to like, and this is true, thisis making me think now.
So when I have my YouTubechannel, I used to say to my
(10:30):
viewers it's like, it reallyhelps me actually filming this
clean, you know, a day ofcleaning or a day in the life I.
Love doing those videos in my aDH brain, D brain, it would give
me dopamine recording itthinking, uh, I mean there's a
level of this, there is aperformative element there, but
it, it doesn't really matter'cause it helped me get the job
(10:51):
done and I'm not judging myselfharshly for that.
Um, but it made me like believeit absolutely for that.
Doing photographing andrecording my family food for 10
years.
Absolutely.
We ate.
We ate.
So.
Many different dishes.
I don't think I ever put thesame thing on the table twice,
hardly.
Um, and there was a performativeelement there, but also it was a
(11:16):
devotion and it was an act ofdevotion towards my career and
my followers, I guess on myviewers and and my family.
But it's like going through themotion almost, if it's like a
paid job as well, which I don'treally have that experience
'cause I'm self-employed.
So it's like everything I do hasto be an act of devotion or.
(11:36):
Else if I don't show up and doit, which is an act devotion,
you know, being devoted to, uh,the business that you're in, to
the job that you're in.
Are we just showing up and doingthe thing?
Or are we, are we showing up andgoing, right.
This is gonna be the best classever.
If you're a teacher, you know,this is gonna be the best
(11:58):
meeting ever.
If you work in a job where youhave meetings, you know, are we
literally devoting ourselves towhat we're doing?
Are we putting down roots tobecome.
The best at what we do, and thatincludes family life, you know,
that includes being a wife.
Like absolutely.
I've been shocking at times as awife.
I've been really hard to bearound and I give myself grace
(12:22):
around that because a lot ofthat is perimenopause.
But, you know, something I'vebeen enjoying recently, I've
been watching Stacey and Joe,which I think I mentioned it in
the last one, which is just likea reality show.
Like I love my reality shows,um, but I feel like it's quite
actually quite.
Are real.
Like, I don't feel like it's,they're faking it.
Particularly like I think theirrelationship is very interesting
(12:44):
to watch because they do havefallouts and I've really took a
lot of comfort from that.
Some, a sip of coffee.
Um, but, but what I've learnedfrom watching them is in the act
of devotion to their marriage,they both, neither of them hold
onto grudges.
They both just let it goimmediately.
(13:06):
And she.
She in particular, they willhave an argument and then the
next time she sees him, she'sjust like, hi.
Like, totally fine.
She doesn't need to dissect theargument.
She, she also lets him be him.
So he has a DHD and he is allover the shop, like, but such a
likable person, like typical ADHD, chatty, funny, sweet, and
(13:28):
amazing dad, but like just allover the shop, like with one
project and another project andunfinished projects and things
like that.
And she's very, very.
Passionate towards that.
And she literally, she doesn'tstop him doing anything.
She gives him a lot of space todo what he needs to do.
She does talk to him about thefact that his A DHD needs
management and stuff, but like,it's just this very kind of, um,
(13:52):
committed, devoted relationship.
And it made me think about howI'm showing up as a wife.
Like, am I just here physicallyand we're married and there's a
ring on my finger, but I'm notbeing devoted in that way.
Like.
Since watching that, sinceseeing the Post as well, and
like, I'm letting my husband bemy be, be himself.
(14:13):
Like I'm, I'm not gettingannoyed that he went to the pub
the night before.
I'm, I'm just like letting himbe him, you know, and like
letting him be a bit messy andnot being angry about it.
Um, you know, accepting that mykids aren't very tidy and they
don't do the things I've askedthem to do a lot of the time and
(14:33):
not being angry about it.
Um, I.
I don't want to put across thatthis is like, oh, you've got to
be a pacifist and just like letpeople walk all over you.
And also what I did the otherday, and I need to voice this
out because I need toacknowledge this, it was really
good.
Uh, my son who is diagnosedautistic, but for me, he's way
more A DHD than autistic.
(14:54):
I'm definite that he's a DHD andautistic.
Uh, I just dunno if I can bebothered to go down the route
with the DHD diagnosis to behonest.
Um, he lost his shit, which hedoes a lot, but.
I also recognize that he haslearned some of that from me
because I am, I can be ahothead.
Um, and he's six, so obviouslyhis meltdowns are like
(15:17):
6-year-old explosions.
So he lost his shit aboutsomething to do with his
computer game.
Um, and I literally let him losehis shit and I was just
physically there for him, and Ididn't react.
I, it was weird, like nothingaffected me.
I was just like.
Actually, that's slightly a liebecause it went on for so long,
(15:40):
so long, so long.
His words were so abusive to me.
Uh, I let them bounce off me fora while, and then actually
towards the end of his meltdown,I could see it was coming to an
end.
I did get a bit teary and he sawthat probably wasn't a bad
thing, to be honest, but I'm, I,I'm really, I was in, I was firm
In my devotion to him, I waslike, I'm not gonna lose it with
(16:01):
you.
You're allowed to be upset rightnow.
And I kept saying to him, youare not allowed to use those
words to mummy.
And he kept saying, yes, I am.
Yeah.
And like, using the words again.
And I was like, you are usingthem, but I'm not, I'm not, you
know, that's not okay.
That is not okay.
But I kept saying to him, but Ilove you and I'm here for you.
And then I try and make himsmile and I try and hug him and
(16:22):
he wasn't ready.
And he went on and on.
But it really did go on and onfor a long time.
Uh, I, I felt like, God, this isan act of devotion right now.
Like I'm devoted to staying calmfor this person.
Um, and, and it.
You know, it is that differencebetween devotion rather than
performance.
And it's like my devotion isunwavering.
(16:44):
You know, if it all endedtomorrow or if you knew it was
gonna end next week, what wouldyou do?
Like, devote yourself to thosepeople, devote yourself to those
things.
Organize a big family holiday.
Make peace with somebody thatyou've wanted to make peace with
for ages, and the fallout isjust stupid.
I've done that with, uh, someonerecently and hopefully we're
building bridges with anotherthing, another person.
(17:07):
Uh, so I'm trying really hard tohave peace in my life because if
you're not devoted to peace,what are you devoted to?
Like, you know, another, um,another NEMA that we talked
about yesterday was sania, whichis CONT contentment.
Um, and is a, ya my god, Ireally do get those two mixed
(17:29):
up.
It doesn't matter.
Um, and it, we discussed whatcontentment means and I said, I
think contentment to me meansjust peace.
You know, like those feelings ofjust like inner peace, and that
is why I choose not to drink.
Um, well, when it is working, Ichoose not to drink, um, because
(17:50):
the peace that I get from notdrinking wins over the very
brief buzz that I get out ofdrinking.
Don't get me wrong, sometimes Icapitulate, but it's not often
very, very, very rare.
And, and, and, and I, and Ireally, really, really want to
never do it again.
Never say never, but I, I'mtrying, um, because I, it's a
(18:12):
mistake for me because whathappens is the, the initial buzz
comes and then, uh, I feel likeshit afterwards.
And, and I hate the feeling offeeling, oh shit so much.
And I love the feeling of peaceso much, and I want to be
devoted to peace.
So I guess this podcast is gonnabe called What does devotion
(18:33):
look like for you?
Like also just to touch on thespiritual practice of sadness.
So sadness, but S-A-D-H-A-N-A.
Uh, I actually have a freebie onmy website.
If you sign up to my mailinglist, you get a free little,
like fill in a bowl.
Uh, few sheets of, uh, Saturn aplanner.
So my sader and I'm getting backinto my meditation practice
(18:56):
after a little bit of a wobbleWith that recently.
And the two things I'vedefinitely related, it's like if
you stopped doing yourpractices, you.
You're gonna drop your sobriety.
Someone said to me the other ina meeting, um, I've rejoined my
sober club as well, which is mysober meeting, which is I am
part of sober mom collective.
It used to be sober mom squad.
It's now sober Mom Collective.
It's a different group.
(19:17):
Same people that the, the sobermom squad ended.
So they restarted and, and, andit's great.
And so I highly recommend that.
Uh, and someone said to, in thatmeeting, if you're not working
on your sobriety, you're workingon your relapse.
And that resonated.
So like going to my meetings, Iwould say that is part of my
sader, but my actual dailySaturn is, uh, meditating twice
(19:41):
a day.
So I get up and I meditate, andI, I'm studying Vedic meditation
with, um, the Mindful LifePractice.
And Rory Kinsella is mymeditation teacher.
And so I have a mantra and I saythe mantra internally for 20
minutes.
Well, my thoughts wander andthen you bring it back with the
mantra.
I do that twice a day.
Uh, and I, it dropped off.
(20:02):
I was doing it once a day, thena couple of days I didn't do it
at all.
Uh, and you know, my devotion,my practice, it's, um, in the
Yoga Sutra, they talk about.
Practice.
You know, you have to practicediligently, you have to put in
the hours, and this is how youachieve samati.
This is how you achieve peace.
(20:23):
This is how you achieve bliss,contentment, all of these
things.
And it's so true.
Like I've started to realizethat a big thing that was
missing for me in my practiceand what.
Caused a real bad mental healthday.
The other day was a lack ofvigorous exercise.
So I'm going to hot yoga againtoday.
(20:45):
It's really, really good for me,even though it's a half an hour
drive each way more than thatactually in the morning.
Um, and I'm dedicated to that.
I'm devoted to that.
That comes first.
And then, you know, I go back.
I water dogs in nature.
Look, I'm making myself soundlike a saint far from it.
Um, I'm trying to eat more.
Protein, but you better believethat I'm still raiding the kids
(21:07):
Easter eggs like life.
I also believe in pleasure.
Um, you know, it's devoting toyourself.
I just saw somebody run patternof weighted vest.
That's my next purchase.
I'm gonna buy a weighted vest.
I'm such a perimenopause cliche.
I am like protein, wait.
Just, um, but all these thingsare devotional.
They're devotional to myselfbecause I want to devote myself
(21:31):
to my loved ones and I can'tdevote myself to my loved ones
and to myself.
And this, this life, this lifethat we get without feeling
peaceful and well.
And the way to feel peaceful andwell is a devotion to my
spiritual practices and thehealthy practices that keep me
well.
And so I'm gonna leave it there.
I wanna finish my coffee beforeI get into the city to my hot.
(21:53):
Hot yoga class.
Um, I love you guys.
Please.
Uh, I'm gonna, I've, I've had areal, I'm so busy doing things
like hot yoga.
I, I like literally need tocatch up and upload a load of
new episodes.
Uh, and I'll schedule them andyou know what I need to do?
I need to share them.
I need to be brave.
I'm not being brave at themminute, I'm being really shy.
(22:13):
Because I'm just enjoying theprocess of this, which they
always say, don't they?
Enjoy the process, do theprocess right, and record
because you enjoy the process.
I guess that's what I'm gettingright, right now.
But I'm like not sharing it.
So I need to share more.
I need to get my guests rebookedthat I had to cancel on.
Uh, and I love you and take careand let me know in the comment.
Please rate and review.
(22:34):
It helps this podcast getvisibility.
Uh, let me know in the commentslike, what are you devoted to
right now?
How does devotion show up inyour life?
I love you.
Take care.
Bye.
Conscious but Grounded is a podcast about
spirituality, high vibe livingin the real world.
I ask questions like, how do weconnect to the magic?
The spirit, the source, theuniverse, but with our feet
firmly planted on the ground.
How do we show up in a consciousway and harness that to make
big, paradigm busting change inthe day to day of our lives?
(00:23):
I'm Rachel Brady, mum of three,yoga teacher and embodiment
coach.
This is the place where I'll bereflecting and exploring big,
deep questions, all with a pinchof self deprecation, a few
proper lols, and a lot of reallife.
Join me.
Hi, welcome back to ConsciousBook Grounded, another journey
(00:45):
in the car, another, uh, yogaclass to take.
Um, and so I'm Rachel.
If this is the first time you'velistened.
I'm a mom of three.
Uh, the kids are now six, 12,and 14, and we live in the, like
a renovated farmhouse in the PEdistrict.
I used to be a kind of mummyYouTuber lifestyle, kind of
(01:10):
accidental, accidental lifestyleblogger, um, uh, and family food
kind of blogger.
And I kind of fell out of lovewith that.
A little bit of that five yearsago had a spot of depression,
which turned into a diagnosisfor DHD and I've been on a kind
of spiritual healing journeyever since.
(01:30):
And, uh, on a sober journey thatis not linear.
I'm.
Having a big reset at the minuteafter drinking a couple of times
recently.
Nothing bad happened, but I justdon't feel like it belongs in my
life anymore.
Um, and sometimes I'll dip mytoe back in the water and then
go, yeah, it still doesn't feelgood, even though I was like
tempted to do it again.
And anyway, anyway, anyway, Idigress a lot.
(01:53):
That's me.
This podcast is all aboutspirituality in the real world.
Maybe I should have called itthat.
Uh, it's called conscious.
But grounded, because groundedfor me means like, I'm here, I'm
present.
I'm in the real world.
I'm washing the dishes, I'mtaking my kids to school, and
I'm trying to be a betterperson.
(02:13):
Uh, and that, that's the kind ofconscious part of it.
So keeping in touch with ourspirituality whilst having our
foot, feet.
Firmly planted on the ground, Iguess is what you could say.
And then I try and record on thefly because otherwise I didn't
think I would record.
So I'm trying to do this podcastreally, rather than as an act of
ego, but it helps me process.
(02:34):
And I think in the act of medoing that, uh, and talking
about all the things that I'mkind of learning, uh, and trying
to embody on this journey, maybethat I'll touch somebody else,
uh, somebody else's heart or.
Have an impact on them.
Uh, I also interview people aspart of this, um, podcast, but
that has been quite slow to takeoff just because it's so
(02:57):
difficult to pin people down andpin me down.
And I've had to cancel a coupleof times.
But we do have some really goodinterviews coming up, so, um,
keep your ears open for that.
Uh, so today I thought, well,what can I talk about?
And I just shared something onmy Instagram.
It was the Taurus New Moonyesterday.
Uh, I actually thought it wasthe other day and I did a whole
(03:18):
new Moon ritual.
And pulled some tarots and thenI realized, oh, it was actually
yesterday.
Nevermind.
It's fine.
Um, and I shared a post by thebrilliant Instagram account,
moon Omens.
I was having a sip of my coffeethere and it's sad.
Something which I really like.
So Taurus is a very groundedpresence.
(03:42):
Um, and the star sign is a verygrounded, steady, stable force
as well.
And I.
Feel like, uh, well, what I'veheard people talk about, you
know, astrologers, astrologersand so on, is that the minute
it's like put down roots at theminute in the things that you
really want to put down rootsin.
But if you're putting down rootsin things that you aren't
(04:04):
actually seeing as something forthe rest of your life, whether
it's relationships or career,um, or anything really, then,
then now is the time to uproot.
Like don't put roots down whereyou don't want to put roots
down.
Really what.
Put roots down.
And the message that I shared onInstagram today was tourist.
(04:25):
The tourist new Moon invites usto come from a place of devotion
rather than performance.
And I really love that.
Like the word devotion to me isso beautiful.
It's um, it just talks, speaksto me of like unconditional
love.
It's very spiritual.
(04:46):
And it really made me thinkabout my love and devotion.
To my family, even though theywould be like, what?
You're in a bad mood half thetime, but like, that's just
perimenopause.
You know, I've really triedrecently to come into more of a
space of, I think I mentioned inthe last episode, you know, you
(05:10):
might have heard the phrasecalmer yogi.
So a calmer yogi is somebodythat just does things purely for
the act of devotion.
And I mean, it's not verypractical in today's world.
It's, it's so expensive to liveand so on.
Uh, but.
Karma Yogi, for example, I firstheard the term army, my first
ever yoga teacher training whenthere was someone there just
helping out and that was, theywere being a karma yogi.
(05:33):
Um, I suppose it's to get goodkarma for one of a, you know,
that's a very overoversimplification of the term
karma.
But, um, I think it made methink of the selfless acts that
we do as mothers and also reallyleaning into the devotional act
(05:53):
of love.
Um, in the tiny gestures that wedo, you know, school pickup,
washing, the dishes that Imentioned before, they are
important acts of love.
And, you know, I don't wannaframe this as though, like
right, well, women should justdo everything and feel like
we're, we should be grateful fordoing it, of course not.
(06:14):
Like there is also, of course,like a fair division of labor
and there's nothing wrong withgetting, helping.
All of those things are part ofthis as well, like getting help
in.
I've got someone coming onFriday.
I think we've decided now thatshe's just gonna come kind of ad
hoc to help me because I feltlike once a week was too much.
(06:34):
Um, but then every now and thenI am like, gosh, I wish she was
there to help.
And so that's part of mydevotion to having a warm,
comfortable, cozy, clean ish,tidy ish home in inviting,
welcoming space, uh, for thekids yesterday in my, uh,
advanced suit.
(06:54):
Training that I do, which iswhere we study the yoga sutures,
which is probably the most keyyoga text.
One of the things we talkedabout, we were talking about the
Yama and the Yama, and so theYama and the Yama are the first,
are the the first and second ofthe eight limbs of yoga, and
they talk about ways that we cantreat other people, you know,
(07:16):
the rules for treating otherpeople and the rules for how we
treat ourself.
And we talked about the factthat there's actually two.
Uh, yoga sutures.
There's only one for each Yamaand Nema, but there's two for
the one sat for the ni yamaCher.
Is it a Yama or Nira?
It doesn't matter which it is.
Um, so it's how we treatourselves.
(07:37):
So, and Cher is cleanliness andthere's two yoga sutures written
about this, which talk, whichgives an indication of how
important spiritual, you know,and physical and homely
cleanliness is and how it reallyis a spiritual act.
And we were talking about thisin the group and it really
speaks.
To my soul because even though Iwas a disgusting teenager and
(07:58):
really an appallingly, messy,gross, like untidy student, you
know, our house was appalling.
Uh, and then every now and thenwe'd just bliss and it'd be
lovely.
And then we'd be like, we shouldlive like this all the time.
And then it just like went toshit again, like within two
days.
Um, but you learn, you learnthese things.
(08:18):
Like we look at our kids,especially the teenagers, and
we're like, oh my God, it's sodisgusting in here, da da.
So frustrating, blah, blah,blah.
And I have to remind myself,look, you were an absolute shit
show, so don't expect them to beany different.
You know, because you have, theonly way to learn is to get out
into the world and live on yourown and, and have no one picking
(08:39):
up after you up right.
And no one cooking your mealsand no one filling.
With food.
No one does your washing, andthat is the only way to learn is
to have to do it yourself.
Um, and so when we were talkingabout the importance of socher,
uh, cleanliness, you know,cleanliness of.
Our homes of our bodies, of ourminds, of our emotions.
(09:02):
It's really spoke to me about,um, yeah, God, it really is a
spiritual act.
It really is.
Um, to be a carer, you know, thecarers of the world are the most
important people of all, becausewithout the carers.
Like when I've had thisdiscussion with my mom, we've
(09:24):
had this discussion a lotbecause I've really like the
struggle of my life and that'swhy I thought it's a good thing
to talk about today.
'cause it's very much a part ofmy story has been how can I be a
present homemaker and mother.
Um, you know, a house, ahouseholder, a yoga householder.
How can I be a householder andlive my purpose?
(09:45):
And like I'm, I'm still workingon that.
Um, and now the kids are gettinga bit older.
It's like, okay, I think now Ican step up what I'm doing a bit
more.
Um, and it's like the phrasethat we started with at the
start of this, and what I'mgonna call this podcast is
devotion.
Like instead of performance, so.
(10:07):
Let's think about the wordperformance as an antithesis to
the word devotion.
So a performance is like, we dothe thing'cause we've gotta do
the thing.
And we also probably, we mightbe doing it for an ulterior
motive, like praise, or we mightbe doing it for like, um, almost
to like, and this is true, thisis making me think now.
So when I have my YouTubechannel, I used to say to my
(10:30):
viewers it's like, it reallyhelps me actually filming this
clean, you know, a day ofcleaning or a day in the life I.
Love doing those videos in my aDH brain, D brain, it would give
me dopamine recording itthinking, uh, I mean there's a
level of this, there is aperformative element there, but
it, it doesn't really matter'cause it helped me get the job
(10:51):
done and I'm not judging myselfharshly for that.
Um, but it made me like believeit absolutely for that.
Doing photographing andrecording my family food for 10
years.
Absolutely.
We ate.
We ate.
So.
Many different dishes.
I don't think I ever put thesame thing on the table twice,
hardly.
Um, and there was a performativeelement there, but also it was a
(11:16):
devotion and it was an act ofdevotion towards my career and
my followers, I guess on myviewers and and my family.
But it's like going through themotion almost, if it's like a
paid job as well, which I don'treally have that experience
'cause I'm self-employed.
So it's like everything I do hasto be an act of devotion or.
(11:36):
Else if I don't show up and doit, which is an act devotion,
you know, being devoted to, uh,the business that you're in, to
the job that you're in.
Are we just showing up and doingthe thing?
Or are we, are we showing up andgoing, right.
This is gonna be the best classever.
If you're a teacher, you know,this is gonna be the best
(11:58):
meeting ever.
If you work in a job where youhave meetings, you know, are we
literally devoting ourselves towhat we're doing?
Are we putting down roots tobecome.
The best at what we do, and thatincludes family life, you know,
that includes being a wife.
Like absolutely.
I've been shocking at times as awife.
I've been really hard to bearound and I give myself grace
(12:22):
around that because a lot ofthat is perimenopause.
But, you know, something I'vebeen enjoying recently, I've
been watching Stacey and Joe,which I think I mentioned it in
the last one, which is just likea reality show.
Like I love my reality shows,um, but I feel like it's quite
actually quite.
Are real.
Like, I don't feel like it's,they're faking it.
Particularly like I think theirrelationship is very interesting
(12:44):
to watch because they do havefallouts and I've really took a
lot of comfort from that.
Some, a sip of coffee.
Um, but, but what I've learnedfrom watching them is in the act
of devotion to their marriage,they both, neither of them hold
onto grudges.
They both just let it goimmediately.
(13:06):
And she.
She in particular, they willhave an argument and then the
next time she sees him, she'sjust like, hi.
Like, totally fine.
She doesn't need to dissect theargument.
She, she also lets him be him.
So he has a DHD and he is allover the shop, like, but such a
likable person, like typical ADHD, chatty, funny, sweet, and
(13:28):
amazing dad, but like just allover the shop, like with one
project and another project andunfinished projects and things
like that.
And she's very, very.
Passionate towards that.
And she literally, she doesn'tstop him doing anything.
She gives him a lot of space todo what he needs to do.
She does talk to him about thefact that his A DHD needs
management and stuff, but like,it's just this very kind of, um,
(13:52):
committed, devoted relationship.
And it made me think about howI'm showing up as a wife.
Like, am I just here physicallyand we're married and there's a
ring on my finger, but I'm notbeing devoted in that way.
Like.
Since watching that, sinceseeing the Post as well, and
like, I'm letting my husband bemy be, be himself.
(14:13):
Like I'm, I'm not gettingannoyed that he went to the pub
the night before.
I'm, I'm just like letting himbe him, you know, and like
letting him be a bit messy andnot being angry about it.
Um, you know, accepting that mykids aren't very tidy and they
don't do the things I've askedthem to do a lot of the time and
(14:33):
not being angry about it.
Um, I.
I don't want to put across thatthis is like, oh, you've got to
be a pacifist and just like letpeople walk all over you.
And also what I did the otherday, and I need to voice this
out because I need toacknowledge this, it was really
good.
Uh, my son who is diagnosedautistic, but for me, he's way
more A DHD than autistic.
(14:54):
I'm definite that he's a DHD andautistic.
Uh, I just dunno if I can bebothered to go down the route
with the DHD diagnosis to behonest.
Um, he lost his shit, which hedoes a lot, but.
I also recognize that he haslearned some of that from me
because I am, I can be ahothead.
Um, and he's six, so obviouslyhis meltdowns are like
(15:17):
6-year-old explosions.
So he lost his shit aboutsomething to do with his
computer game.
Um, and I literally let him losehis shit and I was just
physically there for him, and Ididn't react.
I, it was weird, like nothingaffected me.
I was just like.
Actually, that's slightly a liebecause it went on for so long,
(15:40):
so long, so long.
His words were so abusive to me.
Uh, I let them bounce off me fora while, and then actually
towards the end of his meltdown,I could see it was coming to an
end.
I did get a bit teary and he sawthat probably wasn't a bad
thing, to be honest, but I'm, I,I'm really, I was in, I was firm
In my devotion to him, I waslike, I'm not gonna lose it with
(16:01):
you.
You're allowed to be upset rightnow.
And I kept saying to him, youare not allowed to use those
words to mummy.
And he kept saying, yes, I am.
Yeah.
And like, using the words again.
And I was like, you are usingthem, but I'm not, I'm not, you
know, that's not okay.
That is not okay.
But I kept saying to him, but Ilove you and I'm here for you.
And then I try and make himsmile and I try and hug him and
(16:22):
he wasn't ready.
And he went on and on.
But it really did go on and onfor a long time.
Uh, I, I felt like, God, this isan act of devotion right now.
Like I'm devoted to staying calmfor this person.
Um, and, and it.
You know, it is that differencebetween devotion rather than
performance.
And it's like my devotion isunwavering.
(16:44):
You know, if it all endedtomorrow or if you knew it was
gonna end next week, what wouldyou do?
Like, devote yourself to thosepeople, devote yourself to those
things.
Organize a big family holiday.
Make peace with somebody thatyou've wanted to make peace with
for ages, and the fallout isjust stupid.
I've done that with, uh, someonerecently and hopefully we're
building bridges with anotherthing, another person.
(17:07):
Uh, so I'm trying really hard tohave peace in my life because if
you're not devoted to peace,what are you devoted to?
Like, you know, another, um,another NEMA that we talked
about yesterday was sania, whichis CONT contentment.
Um, and is a, ya my god, Ireally do get those two mixed
(17:29):
up.
It doesn't matter.
Um, and it, we discussed whatcontentment means and I said, I
think contentment to me meansjust peace.
You know, like those feelings ofjust like inner peace, and that
is why I choose not to drink.
Um, well, when it is working, Ichoose not to drink, um, because
(17:50):
the peace that I get from notdrinking wins over the very
brief buzz that I get out ofdrinking.
Don't get me wrong, sometimes Icapitulate, but it's not often
very, very, very rare.
And, and, and, and I, and Ireally, really, really want to
never do it again.
Never say never, but I, I'mtrying, um, because I, it's a
(18:12):
mistake for me because whathappens is the, the initial buzz
comes and then, uh, I feel likeshit afterwards.
And, and I hate the feeling offeeling, oh shit so much.
And I love the feeling of peaceso much, and I want to be
devoted to peace.
So I guess this podcast is gonnabe called What does devotion
(18:33):
look like for you?
Like also just to touch on thespiritual practice of sadness.
So sadness, but S-A-D-H-A-N-A.
Uh, I actually have a freebie onmy website.
If you sign up to my mailinglist, you get a free little,
like fill in a bowl.
Uh, few sheets of, uh, Saturn aplanner.
So my sader and I'm getting backinto my meditation practice
(18:56):
after a little bit of a wobbleWith that recently.
And the two things I'vedefinitely related, it's like if
you stopped doing yourpractices, you.
You're gonna drop your sobriety.
Someone said to me the other ina meeting, um, I've rejoined my
sober club as well, which is mysober meeting, which is I am
part of sober mom collective.
It used to be sober mom squad.
It's now sober Mom Collective.
It's a different group.
(19:17):
Same people that the, the sobermom squad ended.
So they restarted and, and, andit's great.
And so I highly recommend that.
Uh, and someone said to, in thatmeeting, if you're not working
on your sobriety, you're workingon your relapse.
And that resonated.
So like going to my meetings, Iwould say that is part of my
sader, but my actual dailySaturn is, uh, meditating twice
(19:41):
a day.
So I get up and I meditate, andI, I'm studying Vedic meditation
with, um, the Mindful LifePractice.
And Rory Kinsella is mymeditation teacher.
And so I have a mantra and I saythe mantra internally for 20
minutes.
Well, my thoughts wander andthen you bring it back with the
mantra.
I do that twice a day.
Uh, and I, it dropped off.
(20:02):
I was doing it once a day, thena couple of days I didn't do it
at all.
Uh, and you know, my devotion,my practice, it's, um, in the
Yoga Sutra, they talk about.
Practice.
You know, you have to practicediligently, you have to put in
the hours, and this is how youachieve samati.
This is how you achieve peace.
(20:23):
This is how you achieve bliss,contentment, all of these
things.
And it's so true.
Like I've started to realizethat a big thing that was
missing for me in my practiceand what.
Caused a real bad mental healthday.
The other day was a lack ofvigorous exercise.
So I'm going to hot yoga againtoday.
(20:45):
It's really, really good for me,even though it's a half an hour
drive each way more than thatactually in the morning.
Um, and I'm dedicated to that.
I'm devoted to that.
That comes first.
And then, you know, I go back.
I water dogs in nature.
Look, I'm making myself soundlike a saint far from it.
Um, I'm trying to eat more.
Protein, but you better believethat I'm still raiding the kids
(21:07):
Easter eggs like life.
I also believe in pleasure.
Um, you know, it's devoting toyourself.
I just saw somebody run patternof weighted vest.
That's my next purchase.
I'm gonna buy a weighted vest.
I'm such a perimenopause cliche.
I am like protein, wait.
Just, um, but all these thingsare devotional.
They're devotional to myselfbecause I want to devote myself
(21:31):
to my loved ones and I can'tdevote myself to my loved ones
and to myself.
And this, this life, this lifethat we get without feeling
peaceful and well.
And the way to feel peaceful andwell is a devotion to my
spiritual practices and thehealthy practices that keep me
well.
And so I'm gonna leave it there.
I wanna finish my coffee beforeI get into the city to my hot.
(21:53):
Hot yoga class.
Um, I love you guys.
Please.
Uh, I'm gonna, I've, I've had areal, I'm so busy doing things
like hot yoga.
I, I like literally need tocatch up and upload a load of
new episodes.
Uh, and I'll schedule them andyou know what I need to do?
I need to share them.
I need to be brave.
I'm not being brave at themminute, I'm being really shy.
(22:13):
Because I'm just enjoying theprocess of this, which they
always say, don't they?
Enjoy the process, do theprocess right, and record
because you enjoy the process.
I guess that's what I'm gettingright, right now.
But I'm like not sharing it.
So I need to share more.
I need to get my guests rebookedthat I had to cancel on.
Uh, and I love you and take careand let me know in the comment.
Please rate and review.
(22:34):
It helps this podcast getvisibility.
Uh, let me know in the commentslike, what are you devoted to
right now?
How does devotion show up inyour life?
I love you.
Take care.
Bye.
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