August 24, 2025 • 32 mins
To connect with Catia and become a client, visit- catiaholm.com
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Have you ever wondered why you keep repeating the same patterns, even when they no longer serve you? This eye-opening conversation with Jessica Cherry – sound bath practitioner, NLP coach, and TV host – reveals how our minds create patterns that shape our entire lives, and how we can change them.
Jessica explains neuro-linguistic programming as "a manual for your mind," offering a powerful framework for examining the thoughts and language patterns that keep us stuck. Through vivid metaphors – like emptying your purse to see what you're unnecessarily carrying – she demonstrates how we can objectively look at our limiting beliefs and decide what deserves space in our mental landscape.
The most compelling moments come when Jessica shares real transformation stories, including a client who experienced "space in her chest" for the first time after a Hawaiian forgiveness practice called Ho'oponopono. This physical manifestation of emotional release led to an urge to clean under her bed – a beautiful example of how internal shifts create external changes.
For anyone feeling stuck in patterns of anxiety, limiting beliefs, or emotional cycles, this conversation offers practical insight into how our brains work and how remarkably plastic they remain throughout our lives. Jessica reminds us that after 35, we typically operate on autopilot unless we deliberately choose different patterns – a wake-up call for anyone feeling too old to change or grow.
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Jessica Cherry is an award-winning entrepreneur, empowerment coach, TV host, and community leader in Central Texas. As founding Community Director of LLN Hays County, she produces monthly networking and empowerment events spotlighting women-owned businesses. Host of She Will Empower on The CW Austin’s Connect Network TV and a Certified NLP Practitioner, she helps women release trauma, burnout, and self-doubt to create confident, purposeful lives.
She is a multi-award recipient, including Blogger of the Year twice for Austin Business Woman, a Community Contributor Award recipient for Austin Business Woman and runner-up for Best Online Personality in the Austin Chronicle’s Best of Austin 2024.
You can connect with her at: Lone Star Sound Baths and Life of a Cherry Wife
Couch Time with Cat isn’t therapy—it’s real conversation designed to support your journey alongside any personal or professional help you're receiving. If you're in emotional crisis or need immediate support, please get in touch with a professional or reach out to a 24/7 helpline like:
- US: 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline)
- UK: Samaritans at 116 123
- Australia: Lifeline at 13 11 14
- Or find local resources through findahelpline.com
You’re not alone. Let’s take this one honest conversation at a time.
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Show hosted by:
Catia Hernandez Holm, LMFT-A
Supervised by Susan Gonzales, LMFT-S, LPC-S
You can connect with Catia at couchtimewithcat.com
and
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Couch Time with Cat, your safe place for
real conversation and a gentlecheck-in.
Kwvh presents Couch Time withCat.
Hi, I'm Cat, trauma therapist,coach, tedx speaker,
best-selling author and yourhost here on Couch Time with Cat
.
I've spent over a decadewalking alongside people through
the real, raw and sacred workof becoming whole again through
(00:21):
the real, raw and sacred work ofbecoming whole again.
Catch Time with Cat.
Mental Wellness with a FriendlyVoice is where we have
conversations that are equalparts science and soul.
This is where we get honestabout anxiety, grief, burnout,
relationships and the braveeveryday work of healing.
You don't have to have it allfigured out to belong here.
Whether you're tuning in rightfrom here in the hill country or
(00:45):
listening across the world, Iwant you to feel seen, supported
and reminded that you're notalone.
So find your cozy spot, take adeep breath and let's talk about
what it means to be humantogether.
Today's conversation wassomeone who has built her life
around helping people find peacein a world that doesn't slow
down.
(01:05):
Jessica Cherry is a certifiedsound bath practitioner, sound
alchemist and licensedneuro-linguistic programming
coach.
She's the founder of Lone StarSound Baths, where she guides
people into deep states ofrelaxation, emotional release
and inner clarity throughimmersive vibrational sound
experiences.
(01:26):
Her work blends ancient healinginstruments with modern
mind-body tools to help peoplerecalibrate not just physically
but mentally and spiritually.
Her journey into this workwasn't born from a textbook.
It started in the middle of herown struggle with anxiety and
panic attacks.
What began as a personal searchfor relief became a calling to
(01:49):
create spaces where others couldexperience the same sense of
calm and renewal she found.
Today, jessica is here to sharehow sound and NLP can be
healing, how language shapes ourinner reality and how combining
the two can help us shiftpatterns, regulate our nervous
system and connect more deeplywith ourselves.
(02:11):
If you've been feeling stuck,overwhelmed or just craving a
moment to exhale, jessica'sstory and tools will give you
new ways to listen not only tosound but to the messages your
own body and mind are sendingyou.
Jessica, welcome back to theshow.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
So excited to be back .
Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
Thank you so much for being here.
So, listener, I need you toknow that Jessica's been on the
show before, she's a repeatguest and also she is a jack of
all trades.
This lady I'm really sittingacross from a lifelong learner
and an entrepreneur, a mama, acheerleader, a TV show host.
(03:00):
What else would you add?
Oh gosh, I don't know all thethings all the things let's tell
the listener, we're gonna jump.
I want to ask a little bitabout your life that surrounds
NLP, and then we'll dive deepinto NLP okay so tell us about
(03:23):
being on television.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
The very start.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Sure.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Okay.
So I won the Austin Blogger ofthe Year for Austin
Businesswoman in 2021.
And when I won that award, Iwas approached by the CW Austin
at the Connect Network TV showto be interviewed.
And I was so nervous because Iwas like TV you mean real TV and
(03:52):
they're like, yeah, do you mind, do you want to be on the TV?
And I knew it was such a greatopportunity that I did not want
to pass that up.
So I said yes and I wasinterviewed and they loved it,
they loved me and I was sorelieved that I just got through
that interview and they askedme to be on the show again.
And so there I was again, andthen they asked me to be on the
(04:17):
show again and that is how Ieventually, that is how I got
the she Will Empower segment onthe CW Austin on the Connect
Network TV show.
So I've been doing that for, Iwant to say, four years.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
Wow, wow.
So yeah, you're a media pro.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
I don't know about pro, but I'm comfortable in it a
lot.
I mean, I wasn't, I didn't lookto be on tv, it kind of fell in
my lap and now this is what Ido, part of what I do, and I
have my own monologue segmentwhere I get to talk about how to
empower women.
Or I also have a VIP takeoverwhich somebody, if somebody,
(05:01):
wants to be in my spot.
I will interview them and thenit goes out to Central Texas.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
It goes out to a million households.
Wow, that's awesome.
Yeah, I love that opportunity.
You're shining a light onpeople.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Totally Women.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
Shining a light on women Women yes, ok.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
Entrepreneurs, business owners, thought leaders
, they all come on, or I do itmyself and I have my own.
She Will Empower segment.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
I can get behind that all the way.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
It's fun so.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Jessica, tell us what neuro-linguistic programming is
.
That is quite a mouthful.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
It is so.
It's in layman's terms.
I want to say it's a manual foryour mind, Okay, Right, okay.
So it helps you understand andlearn exactly how the mind works
, that we can get stuck onpatterns, and it helps you look
(06:00):
at those patterns from adifferent perspective, kind of
look outside the box of yourbody or more of your brain, and
break patterns so that you canchange and live the life that
you want without being stuck onthings.
So I kind of walked into thatas well.
That actually came on my feed.
I was really into Dr JoeDispenza and all of his work.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
Oh yeah, he's fabulous, oh I love him.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
I can just read all his books on repeat, right.
So I follow him.
And so an NLP course came on myfeed and it was in Austin.
So of course I went and I wasso immediately drawn into it and
I of course became certified,because that's how I do, that's
(06:48):
how I roll.
So I've been certified now fortwo years and now, after doing
the certification, now I'mactually going under Tony
Robbins.
So right now I'm finishing upthe Tony Robbins whole course
and I'll take my board certifiedcertification.
I think California is the onethat I'm doing it under.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
Wow, also for NLP or for something else.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
That is Tony Robbins.
So that's a strategicintervention course, and after
that I'm already enrolled indoing hypnotherapy.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Yes, so I told you I'm a enrolled in doing
hypnotherapy.
Wow, yes, so I told you I'm aforever learner.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
Jessica is an action-oriented person, so let's
break down neuro-linguisticprogramming, neuro of the mind,
right Neuroscience, linguisticlanguage, yes, and then
programming.
So how are we attaching?
The thoughts to the thoughts tothe language.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
Yes, the patterns.
Yes, A lot of people don'trealize that you are a set of
patterns and we are on autopilot, unless we actively take a step
back and say okay, what do I doevery morning?
What are the thoughts that Itell myself?
What is the language that I amtelling myself?
(08:09):
You don't really think aboutthat, right.
You have to take some time andspace to look at yourself in
that light.
So NLP really focuses on whatyou're saying to yourself, the
language patterns, and breaks itdown, and a lot of it deals
with slight hypnotherapy, thevery tiptoe of it.
(08:32):
But it's great.
I personally have transformed alot of trauma that I've had my
anxiety, my debilitating anxiety.
I've done certain things likeswish method, and they're gone.
So I don't have to keep poppingpills the way I was popping
pills, or having to drink aglass of wine before I enter a
(08:54):
room.
Those patterns, I don't dothose anymore.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
So it sounds like with the NLP you really got to
the source.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
Totally, and I love it.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
The patterns in your mind, the thoughts, the language
.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
The language Also the language that you tell yourself
.
Yeah, it's thoughts, patterns,behaviors, even emotions.
It's looking at the brain as anorgan, just like your heart,
your lungs, you know.
Looking at the brain and takinga step back or outside of
yourself and saying what beliefsam I telling myself, what are
(09:29):
my limiting thoughts that I'mtelling myself, and be able to
have the tools to break it ifthey don't serve?
Speaker 1 (09:38):
you is looking at the brain and looking at our
patterns from a neutralperspective.
A neutral point of view so thatwe're not defensive about what
we're saying or defensive aboutwhat we're thinking, but a
neutral stance really allows usto take an objective look and
decide.
(09:58):
Is this something we want tokeep?
Is this something we want tochange?
Is this something that maybeisn't serving us anymore?
Speaker 2 (10:05):
Totally.
It's like unpacking your purse.
And is that gum in your pursethat you've been holding on for
six months?
Do you really want to hold thatand keep that walking around
with?
Speaker 1 (10:15):
that.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
Yes, I do.
It's unpacking it.
It's flipping the purse over,shaking, shaking it and looking
at what you're carrying.
What baggage are you carrying?
Oh my god, that is such a goodvisual yes, and you know,
looking at it and being like,okay, you know what, I don't
need three pens, it's that.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
But old apple yes, like a random straw, you know
right, yeah, that ketchup yesyou know, yes, all the things.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
So it's.
It's doing that, but in amind's perspective, what are the
limiting beliefs that you'reholding on to?
Are you saying I'm too old so Ican't do this, or I'm too
whatever?
The ship has sailed.
A lot of friends on like, on myfacebook personal feed.
They're at the point now wherethey're thinking they're too old
and so they don't want to trynew things, and that is that is
(11:12):
my pet peeve I feel like that'sthe beginning of the end yes,
when you're like I'm too oldsorry, friends I can't sorry.
Yeah, like I'm too old, I can'tstart a new thing because I'm
this age.
I'm like no, no no, no, no, no.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
Oh, my god, that would be so scary to me.
To me it would be scarier to betold you can't try anything new
yeah, and you're on autopilotfrom here on out.
Oh my god, that would be anightmare.
Yeah, that'd be a nightmare foryou too, if somebody told you
you can't learn anymore oh no,my arm off instead.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
Right, you can't get any more degrees.
Oh, I know, no, sometimesthat's my husband how did you
earn your NLP license?
Speaker 1 (12:00):
what was that like?
Speaker 2 (12:01):
so I went to with Dr Matt James oh my God, his
business is leaving my memoryright now, but I went to school
under Dr Matt James, I thinkit's.
I didn't want to misquote thatschool, so I got the material
from him and then I had to go tothe Association of Integrative
(12:22):
Psychology, take my exam, andthat's how I passed it.
And now I'm certified, and thenI have to renew that every year
.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Congratulations.
Thank you, yeah, that'sincredible.
Can you share some clientexamples of shifting limiting
beliefs, releasing trauma,rewiring mindset?
Speaker 2 (12:40):
Yes, so I'm so happy that you're asking me that,
because I just wrapped up aclient experience a couple of
days ago and she had a lot oftrauma and baggage and it was
affecting her work To the pointwhere she doesn't want to put
her face on social media, noteven her hands or anything like
(13:04):
that, which is something thatwe're working with.
But I did a Ho'oponopono whichis in a Hawaiian forgiveness
thing.
I don't know if you know ofHo'oponopono.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
No, okay, oh my gosh, good, tell me that.
What is that?
Speaker 2 (13:19):
So it is rooted in Hawaiian forgiveness.
Tell me that.
What is that?
So it is rooted in Hawaiianforgiveness and it's not.
When I say forgiveness, it isforgiveness, but it's not so
much to forgive the wrong thatpeople do to you, because
sometimes people are just peopleand they're what they're.
It's not about that.
It's about forgiveness so thatyou can break away and be free
(13:40):
of it and to move on with thelife and live the life that you
are meant to live, withoutcarrying the weight of
somebody's mistakes on you tokind of accept it and move
forward, move forward.
Yes, ho'oponopono it's.
It was one of the most powerfultools that was done to me by dr
matt james that I becameobsessed with because I had I
(14:02):
mean, we all have our own issuesright, so I had my own issues.
That was done.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
I don't have any.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
Oh well, I want to be you.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
Just kidding girl.
I became a therapist.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
So that was done to me and so that was the.
That was what I recently did toher, because I knew that it
would help her, and during thesession, of course, there was a
lot of tears, but one of thethings that she said to me in
our wrap-up was that she feltthe intense desire to clean, and
to clean under her bedspecifically.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
Oh yes, that makes so much sense.
Under her bed specifically.
Yes, oh yeah, I know, yes and Iwas.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
I haven't had a chance to talk to her about it.
When, after she said this to me, I have my appointment with her
next week just to clean underthe bed, just struck something
in me like okay, she said shehad not done it and she's just
been sleeping.
That's just one thing that shedidn't do.
And just to clean under, shesaid she was swiffering under
the bed.
Speaker 1 (15:01):
Oh yeah, but yeah, that's one of the things that
really struck with me.
As you're saying that, I'mthinking okay, so she had this
intense release, this acceptance, and then the emotions are
coming up and out of her body,yes, which is creating space.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
So the cleaning is just creating it's a metaphor
exactly.
It's just creating more spacein her world, decluttering,
letting go of the old hoa hoapono pono, hoa pono pono
listener, you're about to becomebilingual.
Uh, chihuahuas, that is spanishfor dang it.
(15:42):
Yeah, uh, so hoa ho a pono pono.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
Ho a pono pono.
A pono pono.
Yes we need a spelling we needa spelling bee, but ho a pono
pono you got it that soundsbeautiful so often when we.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
Sometimes it goes the other way.
So sometimes we feel thisintense urge to clean our
physical space and that isreally kind of like somebody
tapping us on the shoulder andsaying hey, hey, hey, you may
want to clean your interiorspace also.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
It's a distraction.
Speaker 1 (16:19):
Right, it's a distraction, but it's also
sometimes like littlebreadcrumbs, like hey, totally,
you're feeling like things areclosing in on you.
You're feeling a littleoverwhelmed.
You may want to look at yourinterior life Also.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
The kitchen counter matters, under the bed matters,
but also what's going on in yourheart and mind, and it sounds
like nlp helps people do thatyes, and for her, when I was
immediately after the sessionthat we had, she, after the
crying she was holding on, shehad a fist and she was holding
on with her other hand over herfist and she was putting it on
(16:58):
her heart and she said I'venever felt space in my chest
before oh my goodness yes I knowthat is so powerful, so she,
she was like I I feel like aspace in my chest, I'm not
walking around with a tightness.
And it was just one session ofthat ho'oponopono exercise that
(17:18):
I did with her and after that Ilet her mean we had the session
had to end, and then the nextthing she sent me an email and
she's like I'm cleaning, I'mjust finding myself cleaning.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
Do you go to somebody's house?
Do you go to your office?
How does this work?
Speaker 2 (17:32):
This so far right now , is online.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
Online.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
Oh my goodness, everything is virtual.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
No, way, somebody can do this virtually.
Yes, wow, wow, that's prettyimpressive.
Do you ever blend sound bathswith NLP?
Speaker 2 (17:51):
I would like to, but as of right now they are
separate.
So the sound bath is just agentle guided meditation, and
then you go into the soundpractice of it and then I guide
you out of it when the sound isover, and then NLP is just a
deep dive of what are theproblems?
How can I help you?
(18:12):
And we're doing more talking.
So sound therapy I'm kind ofquiet, I just kind of let the
music do its thing.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
So it sounds like maybe they could be used in
concert with each other theycould.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
It would be something that I would like to do down
the road and maybe offer thatbut that would have to be in
person.
Maybe not at the same hour, no,but no, in, in, yeah, something
in conjunction with it, oroffer it on the side, or like if
you're going through nlp, maybetake a sound bath on the sunday
.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
Yes, right, that would be really good like that
would be a something that couldsupport the work and help the
client really move thingsthrough yes, especially with
anxiety, I think that would bereally good what are the
downsides of NLP?
What would you think?
Speaker 2 (19:03):
So people think the downside of the stigma that it
has is that it could bemanipulative.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
Oh wait, Tell me about that.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
Yes.
So when you use NLP for it'slike anything, you use therapy
or NLP, or if you use somethingfor good, then you have a good
outcome right.
But some people use NLP likethe Milton's Law they will use
it and they don't have goodintentions behind it.
(19:35):
So they will want to use NLPlanguage to maybe convince you
of something that they have anagenda for oh no, so people can
learn nlp or nlp practices andthen use it to their advantage
and totally blindside the person.
So nlp has like body languageaspects.
(19:55):
So if I want to convince you ofsomething or I want you to like
me, I will imitate your bodylanguage.
So I'll put my arm on theheadrest, I'll do this and I'll
talk to you like this.
No, yes, so there is a part ofNLP that.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
Listener, jessica is imitating my body language right
now and I'm like don't you dare.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
Don't you dare.
So there is that stigma thatNLP can be used for not as good,
right or not.
I wouldn't say evil becauseit's not evil.
But yeah, it all depends onwho's using it and how they're
using it.
So that's the bad part.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
Not all NLP practitioners are created
equally.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
True, it's like anybody else right.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
Like any other modality.
So, as you're saying that, I'mthinking it's important to know
who you're working with, totallywhat.
How would you guide somebody sothey can make sure that they're
working with somebodytrustworthy?
Speaker 2 (20:56):
I would.
I would do a search on thisperson, maybe if there's
testimonials out there, ifthere's any reviews out there,
and really trust your intuition,trust your gut.
I think the gut speaks a lot oftimes when our mind doesn't
right.
At least, I would like to thinkthat is to trust your gut.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
Is an NLP experience, a multi-session experience?
Is it like a?
So you can over a few weeks,over a few months, is it one at
a time.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
So it all depends.
So I offer six week programsand I also offer one-offs.
So if you want for example, theHo'oponopono session, where you
just want to clear a stuckfeeling or something like I'll
offer that.
Or a swish method which is likewhat is swish method?
Speaker 1 (21:47):
So?
Speaker 2 (21:47):
it's taking a belief and replacing it with another.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
Give me an example.
Speaker 2 (21:54):
So you look in your mind's eye and you'll have one
vision of what you want to be inone box right, and then another
vision of what you currently tobe in one box right, and then
another vision of what youcurrently are in another box
okay and you'll put one in thecenter and one on the bottom
screen and then I will say whatI need to say and I'll say one,
two, three swish, and you flipthem.
(22:15):
Oh, and you flip them faster,and flip them faster, and flip
them faster, and so that hasbeen used to um, stop like
smoking.
And, for example, I did one.
I did a swish method on afriend of mine who wouldn't stop
eating chocolate.
This was at the very beginningwhen I was I was learning swish.
I was like, okay, I need topractice on my friends before.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
get me to stop eating vanilla ice cream, I will.
I will sign up.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
I had to find a replacement with eating
chocolate, so I made her thinkof the dirtiest, nastiest thing
that she has ever ingested.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
Oh no.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
And for her it was tobacco water that she
accidentally drank one time.
No, and so I did a swish methodon her and now she does not eat
chocolate.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
I wouldn't either.
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
So now in her brain when she bites.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
That's the association, yes.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
And I had it done to me when I was learning it and I
chose a food, it was food that Ilearned it.
So I chose spiral pasta becauseI was loving spiral pasta and I
was like I choose spiral pastaand then they said okay, place
it, replace it with somethingthat you hate.
And I said slimy cooked okra,sorry husband.
(23:35):
And so I did a swish method andI can't eat it anymore.
And that was done two years ago.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
You can't eat spiral pasta.
Speaker 2 (23:45):
I get the sensation of eating okra, slimy cooked
okra.
Speaker 1 (23:50):
Our mind is so powerful.
Speaker 2 (23:52):
Yes, it is.
Speaker 1 (23:53):
And it can constantly be rewired.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
It's elastic, it's never too late.
Speaker 2 (24:00):
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (24:01):
And the patterns.
We were talking about patternsearlier.
Those really the patterns thatare happening in our mind.
Here's how you know whatpatterns are happening in your
mind.
Look at your life.
The way your life is unfoldingis directly related to the
(24:21):
patterns that are happening inyour mind.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
Yes, they say that after 35, we are a stuck pattern
unless we alter it that we areon autopilot.
Yes, from 35 on.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
Yes, it's.
You have to be so deliberate Ifyou want to live a certain type
of life.
You have to be deliberate aboutchanging the way you think.
Speaker 2 (24:47):
Yes, you have to snap out of it, so to speak, right
and say this is not serving me.
I need to wake up from this,this pattern that I'm, that I'm
living, this autopilot that I'mon and back to the dumping out
of the purse.
Speaker 1 (25:02):
Yes, that's such a good visual.
Who cares about the old gum?
It's old gum, right?
If you look at it neutral, likethis old pattern isn't serving
me.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
Let me try something else yes, or or having people in
your life like if let's go tothe purse and we're dumping it
all out and we're seeing theserelationships that aren't
serving us, because we've knownthis person for 15 years, 20
years, but every time we meetthem they drain us right or they
.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
They're just not good for us, but we hold on to them
because we've known them for solong jim murphy is an author and
he has a book called InnerExcellence, and one of the
points that he talks about inthe book is that we, as humans,
think that we know exactly howour life is supposed to go in
(25:53):
order for us to be successful.
So we create this story in ourhead I need to graduate, I need
to get married, I need to dothis, I need to do that, I need
to get a promotion, I need toget a bigger car, whatever,
right, we have this kind of map.
And he said you really limityourself if you are only
sticking to the map yes, agreed.
(26:15):
And if you get sad, if you gooff the map, so to speak, or if
you get, if you throw an adulttantrum or if you start getting
depressed because you didn't,something didn't happen the way
you wanted it to.
He said you don't prescribe oneversion of success to yourself,
because you really don't knowwhat is setting you up for the
(26:41):
next thing.
And so if we're looking at avalley, so to speak, or a
failure, or a veer, or a detour,as a failure, we're really it's
a very short-term vision, we'renot really thinking long-term
and we're not doing what you'resaying, which is expanding the
(27:01):
mind, expanding thepossibilities, giving us more
options, more ways to succeed.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
And sometimes this setback is setting you up for
the bounce back right.
You don't always have to lookat a setback as a failure.
Maybe those were the lessonsthat you really really needed in
order to keep moving forward.
I mean, it's not all going tobe a calm road or no bumps in
the road.
You're going to, naturally,especially if you want to keep
(27:29):
living and not be on theautopilot.
You're going to run into issues, flaws, mistakes, obstacles,
and this is where you keep goingand you learn right.
And it gets harder when we getolder because we think that at
our point, everything should beperfect.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
Oh gosh.
And as I get, oh let me finishthat sentence oh gosh, it isn't.
And oh gosh, it doesn't have tobe perfect.
And as I get older, when Ireflect, I think, oh my gosh,
like that difficult year reallygave me some good skills and now
(28:05):
I'm way stronger.
And this is not.
I don't mean to sound cliche,like God only gives you what he
can handle or whatever.
I don't mean to sound.
No, I just said God only givesyou what he can handle.
God only gives you what you canhandle.
I don't mean to sound.
I just said God only gives youwhat he can handle.
God only gives you what you canhandle.
I don't mean to sound cliche inthat, but I truly
(28:25):
retrospectively think thatreally prepped me for today.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
The trials are what you need sometimes right.
They really do give you thatmeat.
That's how we build strength.
Yeah, yeah, okay that meat.
That's how we build strength,yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:39):
Yeah, okay, would you be willing to lead us through,
like a little brief micro NLPexperience?
Oh my God, can we do that?
Speaker 2 (28:49):
I'm not sure.
It takes a little bit longerthan what we have.
What would be a tool, or whatwould be a question that you
would ask somebody.
I would say take a step out ofthe box, out of yourself, and
(29:11):
what would be your perfecthappiness?
What would that look like?
Speaker 1 (29:14):
Okay, and then they would answer this is what I want
.
Okay.
So hold on, hold on, hold on,I'm going to do it.
You're going to ask me, okay,okay my perfect happiness.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
What's?
Speaker 1 (29:24):
your perfect happiness.
Do you want me to answer out?
Speaker 2 (29:26):
loud.
No, you don't have to okay.
This is just like a very tip ofthe iceberg of a client intake
form okay, listen, I'm about totell you my perfect.
Speaker 1 (29:33):
I'm just kidding, it's a lot deeper than that,
just kidding.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
Jk, jk, jk so what would be your perfect happiness?
And you would answer, and thenI would say what is stopping you
from that?
So I would want to get yourobstacles.
How do you feel about yourself?
Speaker 1 (29:50):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
And then when I say how do you feel about yourself,
I start to get resistance.
I start to get people that aresaying, well, I don't really
want to tell you, because thetraumas that I have you don't
know.
Nobody else has everexperienced this.
I actually had a client thatwas like the traumas that I have
.
No one else has experiencedthese traumas.
Speaker 1 (30:16):
They start to not in a bad way, but defend themselves
like get protective ofthemselves.
Speaker 2 (30:20):
Yes, and there's also something called the crazy
eight eight pattern, which a lotof people are on.
This is a tony robbins coinpattern which is what I'm doing
right now.
Um, so there are people that andyou may encounter this in your
therapy they are angry, so theyare just an angry person, and
then, on the crazy eight pattern, they go from angry then they
(30:41):
flip it, and then they get sad,and then they're sad and they
you, somebody else will try tohelp them, and then they bounce
back to angry, and it's a crazyeight loop.
We probably have some otherterminology.
Speaker 1 (30:53):
There's something similar in the work that I do.
It's called emotionally focusedtherapy, eft, where it looks
like an infinity sign.
Yes, it's the same thing.
Speaker 2 (31:02):
And sometimes they will defend their right to be
angry or their right to be sad,because that is their identity.
And you are trying to collapsetheir identity or poke through
their identity.
You're trying to shake thepurse, so to speak.
Right, we're doing the pursething.
So that is shaking them totheir core and they don't want
to be shook.
That's the identity, that'swhat.
That's what makes them feellike they have the attention
(31:26):
from others, because they'relike, oh, poor you, and but what
they really want is connection.
Speaker 1 (31:32):
Yes, am I a therapist or what?
Is there a therapist in theroom?
Speaker 2 (31:36):
yes, right, they want that connection.
So so with the crazy eightpattern, we shake them into
going up instead of going backand forth from looping.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
And that's a wrap on today's episode of Couch Time
with Cat.
I'm so grateful you joined mehere, whether you were walking,
driving or curled up with a cupof something warm.
I hope today's conversationleft you feeling just a little
more connected to yourself and alittle less alone in whatever
you're walking through.
If you'd like to connect withme, you can find me at Cat
(32:07):
that's C-A-T-I-A-H-O-L-M dot com, or over on Instagram at Cat
Hernandez-Hollam.
I'd love to hear your thoughts,your questions or what this
episode stirred in you.
If we had a guest on today'sepisode, you can find all their
links and info in the show notes.
Please support their work andfollow along.
If they resonated with you andif this episode meant something
(32:28):
to you, would you please take amoment to rate, review and share
it with a friend.
These stories matter.
Your voice matters.
Until next time, be kind toyourself.
Welcome to Couch Time with Cat, your safe place for
real conversation and a gentlecheck-in.
Kwvh presents Couch Time withCat.
Hi, I'm Cat, trauma therapist,coach, tedx speaker,
best-selling author and yourhost here on Couch Time with Cat
.
I've spent over a decadewalking alongside people through
the real, raw and sacred workof becoming whole again through
(00:21):
the real, raw and sacred work ofbecoming whole again.
Catch Time with Cat.
Mental Wellness with a FriendlyVoice is where we have
conversations that are equalparts science and soul.
This is where we get honestabout anxiety, grief, burnout,
relationships and the braveeveryday work of healing.
You don't have to have it allfigured out to belong here.
Whether you're tuning in rightfrom here in the hill country or
(00:45):
listening across the world, Iwant you to feel seen, supported
and reminded that you're notalone.
So find your cozy spot, take adeep breath and let's talk about
what it means to be humantogether.
Today's conversation wassomeone who has built her life
around helping people find peacein a world that doesn't slow
down.
(01:05):
Jessica Cherry is a certifiedsound bath practitioner, sound
alchemist and licensedneuro-linguistic programming
coach.
She's the founder of Lone StarSound Baths, where she guides
people into deep states ofrelaxation, emotional release
and inner clarity throughimmersive vibrational sound
experiences.
(01:26):
Her work blends ancient healinginstruments with modern
mind-body tools to help peoplerecalibrate not just physically
but mentally and spiritually.
Her journey into this workwasn't born from a textbook.
It started in the middle of herown struggle with anxiety and
panic attacks.
What began as a personal searchfor relief became a calling to
(01:49):
create spaces where others couldexperience the same sense of
calm and renewal she found.
Today, jessica is here to sharehow sound and NLP can be
healing, how language shapes ourinner reality and how combining
the two can help us shiftpatterns, regulate our nervous
system and connect more deeplywith ourselves.
(02:11):
If you've been feeling stuck,overwhelmed or just craving a
moment to exhale, jessica'sstory and tools will give you
new ways to listen not only tosound but to the messages your
own body and mind are sendingyou.
Jessica, welcome back to theshow.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
So excited to be back .
Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 1 (02:33):
Thank you so much for being here.
So, listener, I need you toknow that Jessica's been on the
show before, she's a repeatguest and also she is a jack of
all trades.
This lady I'm really sittingacross from a lifelong learner
and an entrepreneur, a mama, acheerleader, a TV show host.
(03:00):
What else would you add?
Oh gosh, I don't know all thethings all the things let's tell
the listener, we're gonna jump.
I want to ask a little bitabout your life that surrounds
NLP, and then we'll dive deepinto NLP okay so tell us about
(03:23):
being on television.
Speaker 2 (03:26):
The very start.
Speaker 1 (03:27):
Sure.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
Okay.
So I won the Austin Blogger ofthe Year for Austin
Businesswoman in 2021.
And when I won that award, Iwas approached by the CW Austin
at the Connect Network TV showto be interviewed.
And I was so nervous because Iwas like TV you mean real TV and
(03:52):
they're like, yeah, do you mind, do you want to be on the TV?
And I knew it was such a greatopportunity that I did not want
to pass that up.
So I said yes and I wasinterviewed and they loved it,
they loved me and I was sorelieved that I just got through
that interview and they askedme to be on the show again.
And so there I was again, andthen they asked me to be on the
(04:17):
show again and that is how Ieventually, that is how I got
the she Will Empower segment onthe CW Austin on the Connect
Network TV show.
So I've been doing that for, Iwant to say, four years.
Speaker 1 (04:35):
Wow, wow.
So yeah, you're a media pro.
Speaker 2 (04:39):
I don't know about pro, but I'm comfortable in it a
lot.
I mean, I wasn't, I didn't lookto be on tv, it kind of fell in
my lap and now this is what Ido, part of what I do, and I
have my own monologue segmentwhere I get to talk about how to
empower women.
Or I also have a VIP takeoverwhich somebody, if somebody,
(05:01):
wants to be in my spot.
I will interview them and thenit goes out to Central Texas.
Speaker 1 (05:07):
It goes out to a million households.
Wow, that's awesome.
Yeah, I love that opportunity.
You're shining a light onpeople.
Speaker 2 (05:15):
Totally Women.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
Shining a light on women Women yes, ok.
Speaker 2 (05:20):
Entrepreneurs, business owners, thought leaders
, they all come on, or I do itmyself and I have my own.
She Will Empower segment.
Speaker 1 (05:27):
I can get behind that all the way.
Speaker 2 (05:31):
It's fun so.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
Jessica, tell us what neuro-linguistic programming is
.
That is quite a mouthful.
Speaker 2 (05:38):
It is so.
It's in layman's terms.
I want to say it's a manual foryour mind, Okay, Right, okay.
So it helps you understand andlearn exactly how the mind works
, that we can get stuck onpatterns, and it helps you look
(06:00):
at those patterns from adifferent perspective, kind of
look outside the box of yourbody or more of your brain, and
break patterns so that you canchange and live the life that
you want without being stuck onthings.
So I kind of walked into thatas well.
That actually came on my feed.
I was really into Dr JoeDispenza and all of his work.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
Oh yeah, he's fabulous, oh I love him.
Speaker 2 (06:27):
I can just read all his books on repeat, right.
So I follow him.
And so an NLP course came on myfeed and it was in Austin.
So of course I went and I wasso immediately drawn into it and
I of course became certified,because that's how I do, that's
(06:48):
how I roll.
So I've been certified now fortwo years and now, after doing
the certification, now I'mactually going under Tony
Robbins.
So right now I'm finishing upthe Tony Robbins whole course
and I'll take my board certifiedcertification.
I think California is the onethat I'm doing it under.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
Wow, also for NLP or for something else.
Speaker 2 (07:14):
That is Tony Robbins.
So that's a strategicintervention course, and after
that I'm already enrolled indoing hypnotherapy.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
Wow.
Speaker 2 (07:24):
Yes, so I told you I'm a enrolled in doing
hypnotherapy.
Wow, yes, so I told you I'm aforever learner.
Speaker 1 (07:27):
Jessica is an action-oriented person, so let's
break down neuro-linguisticprogramming, neuro of the mind,
right Neuroscience, linguisticlanguage, yes, and then
programming.
So how are we attaching?
The thoughts to the thoughts tothe language.
Speaker 2 (07:47):
Yes, the patterns.
Yes, A lot of people don'trealize that you are a set of
patterns and we are on autopilot, unless we actively take a step
back and say okay, what do I doevery morning?
What are the thoughts that Itell myself?
What is the language that I amtelling myself?
(08:09):
You don't really think aboutthat, right.
You have to take some time andspace to look at yourself in
that light.
So NLP really focuses on whatyou're saying to yourself, the
language patterns, and breaks itdown, and a lot of it deals
with slight hypnotherapy, thevery tiptoe of it.
(08:32):
But it's great.
I personally have transformed alot of trauma that I've had my
anxiety, my debilitating anxiety.
I've done certain things likeswish method, and they're gone.
So I don't have to keep poppingpills the way I was popping
pills, or having to drink aglass of wine before I enter a
(08:54):
room.
Those patterns, I don't dothose anymore.
Speaker 1 (08:59):
So it sounds like with the NLP you really got to
the source.
Speaker 2 (09:04):
Totally, and I love it.
Speaker 1 (09:06):
The patterns in your mind, the thoughts, the language
.
Speaker 2 (09:09):
The language Also the language that you tell yourself
.
Yeah, it's thoughts, patterns,behaviors, even emotions.
It's looking at the brain as anorgan, just like your heart,
your lungs, you know.
Looking at the brain and takinga step back or outside of
yourself and saying what beliefsam I telling myself, what are
(09:29):
my limiting thoughts that I'mtelling myself, and be able to
have the tools to break it ifthey don't serve?
Speaker 1 (09:38):
you is looking at the brain and looking at our
patterns from a neutralperspective.
A neutral point of view so thatwe're not defensive about what
we're saying or defensive aboutwhat we're thinking, but a
neutral stance really allows usto take an objective look and
decide.
(09:58):
Is this something we want tokeep?
Is this something we want tochange?
Is this something that maybeisn't serving us anymore?
Speaker 2 (10:05):
Totally.
It's like unpacking your purse.
And is that gum in your pursethat you've been holding on for
six months?
Do you really want to hold thatand keep that walking around
with?
Speaker 1 (10:15):
that.
Speaker 2 (10:17):
Yes, I do.
It's unpacking it.
It's flipping the purse over,shaking, shaking it and looking
at what you're carrying.
What baggage are you carrying?
Oh my god, that is such a goodvisual yes, and you know,
looking at it and being like,okay, you know what, I don't
need three pens, it's that.
Speaker 1 (10:37):
But old apple yes, like a random straw, you know
right, yeah, that ketchup yesyou know, yes, all the things.
Speaker 2 (10:49):
So it's.
It's doing that, but in amind's perspective, what are the
limiting beliefs that you'reholding on to?
Are you saying I'm too old so Ican't do this, or I'm too
whatever?
The ship has sailed.
A lot of friends on like, on myfacebook personal feed.
They're at the point now wherethey're thinking they're too old
and so they don't want to trynew things, and that is that is
(11:12):
my pet peeve I feel like that'sthe beginning of the end yes,
when you're like I'm too oldsorry, friends I can't sorry.
Yeah, like I'm too old, I can'tstart a new thing because I'm
this age.
I'm like no, no no, no, no, no.
Speaker 1 (11:27):
Oh, my god, that would be so scary to me.
To me it would be scarier to betold you can't try anything new
yeah, and you're on autopilotfrom here on out.
Oh my god, that would be anightmare.
Yeah, that'd be a nightmare foryou too, if somebody told you
you can't learn anymore oh no,my arm off instead.
Speaker 2 (11:48):
Right, you can't get any more degrees.
Oh, I know, no, sometimesthat's my husband how did you
earn your NLP license?
Speaker 1 (12:00):
what was that like?
Speaker 2 (12:01):
so I went to with Dr Matt James oh my God, his
business is leaving my memoryright now, but I went to school
under Dr Matt James, I thinkit's.
I didn't want to misquote thatschool, so I got the material
from him and then I had to go tothe Association of Integrative
(12:22):
Psychology, take my exam, andthat's how I passed it.
And now I'm certified, and thenI have to renew that every year
.
Speaker 1 (12:28):
Congratulations.
Thank you, yeah, that'sincredible.
Can you share some clientexamples of shifting limiting
beliefs, releasing trauma,rewiring mindset?
Speaker 2 (12:40):
Yes, so I'm so happy that you're asking me that,
because I just wrapped up aclient experience a couple of
days ago and she had a lot oftrauma and baggage and it was
affecting her work To the pointwhere she doesn't want to put
her face on social media, noteven her hands or anything like
(13:04):
that, which is something thatwe're working with.
But I did a Ho'oponopono whichis in a Hawaiian forgiveness
thing.
I don't know if you know ofHo'oponopono.
Speaker 1 (13:15):
No, okay, oh my gosh, good, tell me that.
What is that?
Speaker 2 (13:19):
So it is rooted in Hawaiian forgiveness.
Tell me that.
What is that?
So it is rooted in Hawaiianforgiveness and it's not.
When I say forgiveness, it isforgiveness, but it's not so
much to forgive the wrong thatpeople do to you, because
sometimes people are just peopleand they're what they're.
It's not about that.
It's about forgiveness so thatyou can break away and be free
(13:40):
of it and to move on with thelife and live the life that you
are meant to live, withoutcarrying the weight of
somebody's mistakes on you tokind of accept it and move
forward, move forward.
Yes, ho'oponopono it's.
It was one of the most powerfultools that was done to me by dr
matt james that I becameobsessed with because I had I
(14:02):
mean, we all have our own issuesright, so I had my own issues.
That was done.
Speaker 1 (14:05):
I don't have any.
Speaker 2 (14:06):
Oh well, I want to be you.
Speaker 1 (14:11):
Just kidding girl.
I became a therapist.
Speaker 2 (14:17):
So that was done to me and so that was the.
That was what I recently did toher, because I knew that it
would help her, and during thesession, of course, there was a
lot of tears, but one of thethings that she said to me in
our wrap-up was that she feltthe intense desire to clean, and
to clean under her bedspecifically.
Speaker 1 (14:39):
Oh yes, that makes so much sense.
Under her bed specifically.
Yes, oh yeah, I know, yes and Iwas.
Speaker 2 (14:42):
I haven't had a chance to talk to her about it.
When, after she said this to me, I have my appointment with her
next week just to clean underthe bed, just struck something
in me like okay, she said shehad not done it and she's just
been sleeping.
That's just one thing that shedidn't do.
And just to clean under, shesaid she was swiffering under
the bed.
Speaker 1 (15:01):
Oh yeah, but yeah, that's one of the things that
really struck with me.
As you're saying that, I'mthinking okay, so she had this
intense release, this acceptance, and then the emotions are
coming up and out of her body,yes, which is creating space.
Speaker 2 (15:21):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
So the cleaning is just creating it's a metaphor
exactly.
It's just creating more spacein her world, decluttering,
letting go of the old hoa hoapono pono, hoa pono pono
listener, you're about to becomebilingual.
Uh, chihuahuas, that is spanishfor dang it.
(15:42):
Yeah, uh, so hoa ho a pono pono.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
Ho a pono pono.
A pono pono.
Yes we need a spelling we needa spelling bee, but ho a pono
pono you got it that soundsbeautiful so often when we.
Speaker 1 (16:02):
Sometimes it goes the other way.
So sometimes we feel thisintense urge to clean our
physical space and that isreally kind of like somebody
tapping us on the shoulder andsaying hey, hey, hey, you may
want to clean your interiorspace also.
Speaker 2 (16:18):
It's a distraction.
Speaker 1 (16:19):
Right, it's a distraction, but it's also
sometimes like littlebreadcrumbs, like hey, totally,
you're feeling like things areclosing in on you.
You're feeling a littleoverwhelmed.
You may want to look at yourinterior life Also.
Speaker 2 (16:34):
The kitchen counter matters, under the bed matters,
but also what's going on in yourheart and mind, and it sounds
like nlp helps people do thatyes, and for her, when I was
immediately after the sessionthat we had, she, after the
crying she was holding on, shehad a fist and she was holding
on with her other hand over herfist and she was putting it on
(16:58):
her heart and she said I'venever felt space in my chest
before oh my goodness yes I knowthat is so powerful, so she,
she was like I I feel like aspace in my chest, I'm not
walking around with a tightness.
And it was just one session ofthat ho'oponopono exercise that
(17:18):
I did with her and after that Ilet her mean we had the session
had to end, and then the nextthing she sent me an email and
she's like I'm cleaning, I'mjust finding myself cleaning.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
Do you go to somebody's house?
Do you go to your office?
How does this work?
Speaker 2 (17:32):
This so far right now , is online.
Speaker 1 (17:35):
Online.
Speaker 2 (17:36):
Oh my goodness, everything is virtual.
Speaker 1 (17:38):
No, way, somebody can do this virtually.
Yes, wow, wow, that's prettyimpressive.
Do you ever blend sound bathswith NLP?
Speaker 2 (17:51):
I would like to, but as of right now they are
separate.
So the sound bath is just agentle guided meditation, and
then you go into the soundpractice of it and then I guide
you out of it when the sound isover, and then NLP is just a
deep dive of what are theproblems?
How can I help you?
(18:12):
And we're doing more talking.
So sound therapy I'm kind ofquiet, I just kind of let the
music do its thing.
Speaker 1 (18:22):
So it sounds like maybe they could be used in
concert with each other theycould.
Speaker 2 (18:28):
It would be something that I would like to do down
the road and maybe offer thatbut that would have to be in
person.
Maybe not at the same hour, no,but no, in, in, yeah, something
in conjunction with it, oroffer it on the side, or like if
you're going through nlp, maybetake a sound bath on the sunday
.
Speaker 1 (18:46):
Yes, right, that would be really good like that
would be a something that couldsupport the work and help the
client really move thingsthrough yes, especially with
anxiety, I think that would bereally good what are the
downsides of NLP?
What would you think?
Speaker 2 (19:03):
So people think the downside of the stigma that it
has is that it could bemanipulative.
Speaker 1 (19:10):
Oh wait, Tell me about that.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
Yes.
So when you use NLP for it'slike anything, you use therapy
or NLP, or if you use somethingfor good, then you have a good
outcome right.
But some people use NLP likethe Milton's Law they will use
it and they don't have goodintentions behind it.
(19:35):
So they will want to use NLPlanguage to maybe convince you
of something that they have anagenda for oh no, so people can
learn nlp or nlp practices andthen use it to their advantage
and totally blindside the person.
So nlp has like body languageaspects.
(19:55):
So if I want to convince you ofsomething or I want you to like
me, I will imitate your bodylanguage.
So I'll put my arm on theheadrest, I'll do this and I'll
talk to you like this.
No, yes, so there is a part ofNLP that.
Speaker 1 (20:10):
Listener, jessica is imitating my body language right
now and I'm like don't you dare.
Speaker 2 (20:14):
Don't you dare.
So there is that stigma thatNLP can be used for not as good,
right or not.
I wouldn't say evil becauseit's not evil.
But yeah, it all depends onwho's using it and how they're
using it.
So that's the bad part.
Speaker 1 (20:34):
Not all NLP practitioners are created
equally.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
True, it's like anybody else right.
Speaker 1 (20:41):
Like any other modality.
So, as you're saying that, I'mthinking it's important to know
who you're working with, totallywhat.
How would you guide somebody sothey can make sure that they're
working with somebodytrustworthy?
Speaker 2 (20:56):
I would.
I would do a search on thisperson, maybe if there's
testimonials out there, ifthere's any reviews out there,
and really trust your intuition,trust your gut.
I think the gut speaks a lot oftimes when our mind doesn't
right.
At least, I would like to thinkthat is to trust your gut.
Speaker 1 (21:19):
Is an NLP experience, a multi-session experience?
Is it like a?
So you can over a few weeks,over a few months, is it one at
a time.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
So it all depends.
So I offer six week programsand I also offer one-offs.
So if you want for example, theHo'oponopono session, where you
just want to clear a stuckfeeling or something like I'll
offer that.
Or a swish method which is likewhat is swish method?
Speaker 1 (21:47):
So?
Speaker 2 (21:47):
it's taking a belief and replacing it with another.
Speaker 1 (21:53):
Give me an example.
Speaker 2 (21:54):
So you look in your mind's eye and you'll have one
vision of what you want to be inone box right, and then another
vision of what you currently tobe in one box right, and then
another vision of what youcurrently are in another box
okay and you'll put one in thecenter and one on the bottom
screen and then I will say whatI need to say and I'll say one,
two, three swish, and you flipthem.
(22:15):
Oh, and you flip them faster,and flip them faster, and flip
them faster, and so that hasbeen used to um, stop like
smoking.
And, for example, I did one.
I did a swish method on afriend of mine who wouldn't stop
eating chocolate.
This was at the very beginningwhen I was I was learning swish.
I was like, okay, I need topractice on my friends before.
Speaker 1 (22:37):
get me to stop eating vanilla ice cream, I will.
I will sign up.
Speaker 2 (22:42):
I had to find a replacement with eating
chocolate, so I made her thinkof the dirtiest, nastiest thing
that she has ever ingested.
Speaker 1 (22:53):
Oh no.
Speaker 2 (22:54):
And for her it was tobacco water that she
accidentally drank one time.
No, and so I did a swish methodon her and now she does not eat
chocolate.
Speaker 1 (23:05):
I wouldn't either.
Oh my gosh.
Speaker 2 (23:07):
So now in her brain when she bites.
Speaker 1 (23:09):
That's the association, yes.
Speaker 2 (23:11):
And I had it done to me when I was learning it and I
chose a food, it was food that Ilearned it.
So I chose spiral pasta becauseI was loving spiral pasta and I
was like I choose spiral pastaand then they said okay, place
it, replace it with somethingthat you hate.
And I said slimy cooked okra,sorry husband.
(23:35):
And so I did a swish method andI can't eat it anymore.
And that was done two years ago.
Speaker 1 (23:44):
You can't eat spiral pasta.
Speaker 2 (23:45):
I get the sensation of eating okra, slimy cooked
okra.
Speaker 1 (23:50):
Our mind is so powerful.
Speaker 2 (23:52):
Yes, it is.
Speaker 1 (23:53):
And it can constantly be rewired.
Speaker 2 (23:56):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
It's elastic, it's never too late.
Speaker 2 (24:00):
Exactly.
Speaker 1 (24:01):
And the patterns.
We were talking about patternsearlier.
Those really the patterns thatare happening in our mind.
Here's how you know whatpatterns are happening in your
mind.
Look at your life.
The way your life is unfoldingis directly related to the
(24:21):
patterns that are happening inyour mind.
Speaker 2 (24:25):
Yes, they say that after 35, we are a stuck pattern
unless we alter it that we areon autopilot.
Yes, from 35 on.
Speaker 1 (24:36):
Yes, it's.
You have to be so deliberate Ifyou want to live a certain type
of life.
You have to be deliberate aboutchanging the way you think.
Speaker 2 (24:47):
Yes, you have to snap out of it, so to speak, right
and say this is not serving me.
I need to wake up from this,this pattern that I'm, that I'm
living, this autopilot that I'mon and back to the dumping out
of the purse.
Speaker 1 (25:02):
Yes, that's such a good visual.
Who cares about the old gum?
It's old gum, right?
If you look at it neutral, likethis old pattern isn't serving
me.
Speaker 2 (25:11):
Let me try something else yes, or or having people in
your life like if let's go tothe purse and we're dumping it
all out and we're seeing theserelationships that aren't
serving us, because we've knownthis person for 15 years, 20
years, but every time we meetthem they drain us right or they
.
Speaker 1 (25:30):
They're just not good for us, but we hold on to them
because we've known them for solong jim murphy is an author and
he has a book called InnerExcellence, and one of the
points that he talks about inthe book is that we, as humans,
think that we know exactly howour life is supposed to go in
(25:53):
order for us to be successful.
So we create this story in ourhead I need to graduate, I need
to get married, I need to dothis, I need to do that, I need
to get a promotion, I need toget a bigger car, whatever,
right, we have this kind of map.
And he said you really limityourself if you are only
sticking to the map yes, agreed.
(26:15):
And if you get sad, if you gooff the map, so to speak, or if
you get, if you throw an adulttantrum or if you start getting
depressed because you didn't,something didn't happen the way
you wanted it to.
He said you don't prescribe oneversion of success to yourself,
because you really don't knowwhat is setting you up for the
(26:41):
next thing.
And so if we're looking at avalley, so to speak, or a
failure, or a veer, or a detour,as a failure, we're really it's
a very short-term vision, we'renot really thinking long-term
and we're not doing what you'resaying, which is expanding the
(27:01):
mind, expanding thepossibilities, giving us more
options, more ways to succeed.
Speaker 2 (27:09):
And sometimes this setback is setting you up for
the bounce back right.
You don't always have to lookat a setback as a failure.
Maybe those were the lessonsthat you really really needed in
order to keep moving forward.
I mean, it's not all going tobe a calm road or no bumps in
the road.
You're going to, naturally,especially if you want to keep
(27:29):
living and not be on theautopilot.
You're going to run into issues, flaws, mistakes, obstacles,
and this is where you keep goingand you learn right.
And it gets harder when we getolder because we think that at
our point, everything should beperfect.
Speaker 1 (27:44):
Oh gosh.
And as I get, oh let me finishthat sentence oh gosh, it isn't.
And oh gosh, it doesn't have tobe perfect.
And as I get older, when Ireflect, I think, oh my gosh,
like that difficult year reallygave me some good skills and now
(28:05):
I'm way stronger.
And this is not.
I don't mean to sound cliche,like God only gives you what he
can handle or whatever.
I don't mean to sound.
No, I just said God only givesyou what he can handle.
God only gives you what you canhandle.
I don't mean to sound.
I just said God only gives youwhat he can handle.
God only gives you what you canhandle.
I don't mean to sound cliche inthat, but I truly
(28:25):
retrospectively think thatreally prepped me for today.
Speaker 2 (28:31):
The trials are what you need sometimes right.
They really do give you thatmeat.
That's how we build strength.
Yeah, yeah, okay that meat.
That's how we build strength,yeah.
Speaker 1 (28:39):
Yeah, okay, would you be willing to lead us through,
like a little brief micro NLPexperience?
Oh my God, can we do that?
Speaker 2 (28:49):
I'm not sure.
It takes a little bit longerthan what we have.
What would be a tool, or whatwould be a question that you
would ask somebody.
I would say take a step out ofthe box, out of yourself, and
(29:11):
what would be your perfecthappiness?
What would that look like?
Speaker 1 (29:14):
Okay, and then they would answer this is what I want
.
Okay.
So hold on, hold on, hold on,I'm going to do it.
You're going to ask me, okay,okay my perfect happiness.
Speaker 2 (29:24):
What's?
Speaker 1 (29:24):
your perfect happiness.
Do you want me to answer out?
Speaker 2 (29:26):
loud.
No, you don't have to okay.
This is just like a very tip ofthe iceberg of a client intake
form okay, listen, I'm about totell you my perfect.
Speaker 1 (29:33):
I'm just kidding, it's a lot deeper than that,
just kidding.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
Jk, jk, jk so what would be your perfect happiness?
And you would answer, and thenI would say what is stopping you
from that?
So I would want to get yourobstacles.
How do you feel about yourself?
Speaker 1 (29:50):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (29:54):
And then when I say how do you feel about yourself,
I start to get resistance.
I start to get people that aresaying, well, I don't really
want to tell you, because thetraumas that I have you don't
know.
Nobody else has everexperienced this.
I actually had a client thatwas like the traumas that I have
.
No one else has experiencedthese traumas.
Speaker 1 (30:16):
They start to not in a bad way, but defend themselves
like get protective ofthemselves.
Speaker 2 (30:20):
Yes, and there's also something called the crazy
eight eight pattern, which a lotof people are on.
This is a tony robbins coinpattern which is what I'm doing
right now.
Um, so there are people that andyou may encounter this in your
therapy they are angry, so theyare just an angry person, and
then, on the crazy eight pattern, they go from angry then they
(30:41):
flip it, and then they get sad,and then they're sad and they
you, somebody else will try tohelp them, and then they bounce
back to angry, and it's a crazyeight loop.
We probably have some otherterminology.
Speaker 1 (30:53):
There's something similar in the work that I do.
It's called emotionally focusedtherapy, eft, where it looks
like an infinity sign.
Yes, it's the same thing.
Speaker 2 (31:02):
And sometimes they will defend their right to be
angry or their right to be sad,because that is their identity.
And you are trying to collapsetheir identity or poke through
their identity.
You're trying to shake thepurse, so to speak.
Right, we're doing the pursething.
So that is shaking them totheir core and they don't want
to be shook.
That's the identity, that'swhat.
That's what makes them feellike they have the attention
(31:26):
from others, because they'relike, oh, poor you, and but what
they really want is connection.
Speaker 1 (31:32):
Yes, am I a therapist or what?
Is there a therapist in theroom?
Speaker 2 (31:36):
yes, right, they want that connection.
So so with the crazy eightpattern, we shake them into
going up instead of going backand forth from looping.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
And that's a wrap on today's episode of Couch Time
with Cat.
I'm so grateful you joined mehere, whether you were walking,
driving or curled up with a cupof something warm.
I hope today's conversationleft you feeling just a little
more connected to yourself and alittle less alone in whatever
you're walking through.
If you'd like to connect withme, you can find me at Cat
(32:07):
that's C-A-T-I-A-H-O-L-M dot com, or over on Instagram at Cat
Hernandez-Hollam.
I'd love to hear your thoughts,your questions or what this
episode stirred in you.
If we had a guest on today'sepisode, you can find all their
links and info in the show notes.
Please support their work andfollow along.
If they resonated with you andif this episode meant something
(32:28):
to you, would you please take amoment to rate, review and share
it with a friend.
These stories matter.
Your voice matters.
Until next time, be kind toyourself.
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