July 4, 2025 • 30 mins
Ever wondered about the person in the therapist's chair? In this intimate premiere episode of Couch Time with Cat, host Catia (Cat) pulls back the curtain on her own journey from hospitality manager to mental wellness advocate. With her best friend (and cousin) Melissa Correa asking the questions we all want answers to, Cat reveals the twists and turns that shaped her path to becoming a therapist, coach, and author.
Growing up Mexican-American in South Texas, Cat recalls a childhood where mental health wasn't part of the conversation. "My parents were migrants and they were so hardworking...there just wasn't a lot of space for mental wellness," she shares candidly. This cultural context frames her passionate belief that creating space for our emotional wellbeing is both a challenge and a necessity in our busy lives.
The conversation takes an especially powerful turn when Cat discusses her identity crisis after becoming a mother. With remarkable vulnerability, she describes her postpartum depression and how writing became her lifeline during those dark days. "I knew that I needed something, and I didn't know what," she reflects, a sentiment that will resonate with anyone who's ever felt lost while trying to find themselves again.
What makes this episode truly special is Cat's humility and wisdom. When comparing herself to giants in the mental health field like Dr. Brené Brown, she offers a beautiful metaphor: "She's like Niagara Falls... I may be your little local creek, but I can provide some respite and beauty to the person who can get to me." It's this perspective—that we all have something valuable to offer in our own way—that makes Couch Time with Cat feel like sitting with a trusted friend.
Whether you're curious about therapy, navigating a major life transition, or simply seeking authentic conversation about mental wellness, this first episode sets the tone for what promises to be a thoughtful, grounded podcast journey. Follow along for more soulful conversations that remind us we're all capable of healing and growth, no matter where we start.
Couch Time with Cat isn’t therapy—it’s real conversation designed to support your journey alongside any personal or professional help you're receiving. If you're in emotional crisis or need immediate support, please get in touch with a professional or reach out to a 24/7 helpline like:
- US: 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline)
- UK: Samaritans at 116 123
- Australia: Lifeline at 13 11 14
- Or find local resources through findahelpline.com
You’re not alone. Let’s take this one honest conversation at a time.
Follow the show and share it with someone who’s ready for healing, hope, and a more empowered way forward.
Show hosted by:
Catia Hernandez Holm, LMFT-A
Supervised by Susan Gonzales, LMFT-S, LPC-S
You can connect with Catia at couchtimewithcat.com
and
To become a client visit- catiaholm.com
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome to Couch Time with Cat , your safe place for real
conversation and a gentlecheck-in.
KWVH presents Couch Time withCat.
Welcome to Couch Time with Cat,mental wellness with a friendly
voice.
I'm your host, Cat, a therapist, coach, best-selling author and
TEDx speaker.
I've spent years supportingpeople around the world as they
(00:22):
navigate healing, growth andeverything in between.
This show is a place for honestconversations.
It's where we take a breath,sit down together and talk about
the things that really matterOur struggles, our stories, our
hopes and our capacity to change.
We're coming to you fromWimberley Valley Radio, right
(00:43):
here in the heart of Texas HillCountry.
Whether you're deep in yourhealing or just starting to
wonder what that even means, youare welcome here.
Today marks the beginning ofthis show, and before we dive
into stories, guests and souldeep dialogue, I want to start
with something personal.
I believe if we're going totravel this journey together,
(01:05):
you should know who you'rewriting with, so I've invited
someone very special to me tohelp do just that.
Melissa Correa is a veteranjournalist, a seasoned
speechwriter and one of the mostrespected storytellers in media
.
She spent nearly two decadesasking the right questions and
giving voice to stories thatmatter, and she's also my best
(01:30):
friend, lucky me.
Melissa has seen me through themessy middles and the
breakthroughs.
She knows my heart, my work andwhy I care so deeply about the
people I serve.
Today, she's flipping thescript and taking the mic to
interview me so you can get afeel for who I am, why this show
(01:51):
exists and what you can expectfrom our time together.
This is where our journeybegins.
Hi Hi Melzi how are you?
I'm well, how are you?
I'm good and this is such anexciting opportunity this radio
show, couch Time with Cat.
Maybe some days there might bea meow, maybe some days there
(02:12):
might be something else.
But I really loved listening tothat intro because we hadn't
really talked about the detailsof it, the definition of what
you're trying to accomplish withthis show, and went mental
wellness with a friendly voice,and then I highlighted our
struggles, our stories, ourhopes and our capacity to change
(02:34):
.
And so I think this episode isreally important because you are
part of the hour, right, youare the part of the collective
and so, no matter where thisshow goes, you are the part of
the collective and so, no matterwhere this show goes, you're
also going to be sharing yourown experiences, right?
That's so true.
I hadn't thought about it inthat way, but yes, I feel like
(02:54):
I'm on the journey with thelistener too.
Yes, and it's important for thelistener to know who they're
talking to, who they'relistening to, and I think
there's something so impressiveabout being in the hill country
recording this show today.
But you and I are from the RioGrande Valley and then I was
thinking all the hills andvalleys that life brings us.
(03:17):
Okay, so you're not from theWimberley area.
Where are you from originally?
I'm from South Texas.
I'm from the Rio Grande Valley.
I'm a proud Mexican American.
I grew up in a small citycalled Wesl aco and it's grown
now, but when you and I weregrowing up there it had one high
school.
And I just love where I'm from.
(03:41):
I love the people, I love theculture.
It's primarily Mexican American.
Lots of Spanish is spoken, lotsof beautiful Mexican traditions
, and I grew up really immersedin that culture.
And it's so interesting that youtalk about your connection to
your culture.
Correct me if I'm wrong, thoughMental health therapy, mental
(04:06):
wellness Was that part of theconversation you had growing up
in South Texas our parents.
(04:27):
One of my parents is animmigrant.
Both my parents were migrantsand they were so hardworking and
they still are to this day andthey were trying to make a
better life for their familiesand that requires a lot of hard
work and there just wasn't a lotof space for mental wellness.
Not to say that I had an overlydifficult time I think I had
normal bullying and things likethat but the culture wasn't
(04:50):
focused on mental wellness.
They were focused on thingslike higher education or making
sure you have enough volunteerhours so you get into college
yeah, working your way up, right, working our way up.
And what my parents did providefor me is this level of safety
where I was emotionally safe,physically safe.
(05:10):
I was very loved and that hasgiven me the luxury to now think
about mental wellness, becauseI did get a higher education, I
did pursue those goals and it'skind of higher education, I did
pursue those goals and it's kindof like I have a little bit of
a respite and I can take a deepbreath and expand my view and
(05:31):
really take mental wellness intothe picture, when before I
couldn't Is mental healthprioritizing that.
Is that a luxury?
I think so.
Why?
I think being able to havemargin and bandwidth to even
think about it is a luxury.
I think a lot of people areliving paycheck to paycheck and
(05:53):
they are trying to do their bestto cook a good dinner for their
kids and hug their kids aftersoccer practice and make sure
they do their project at workcorrectly and they're taking
care.
They're checking those boxesand there isn't a lot of time or
space for the rest.
It has to be created.
(06:15):
It's not just oh, from six toseven.
I'm going to focus on my mentalwellness.
It's really something that youhave to be deliberate about.
It's really something that youhave to be deliberate about.
Well, how special that this showexists now.
Right, Because for people whomay not have the time to
dedicate to a full therapysession, they can, at their
(06:39):
leisure, listen to this show andshare space with you.
And if it gives them five moreminutes to kind of explore
thoughts a little bit moredeeply, then it's five minutes
well spent.
I think so.
The other thing that's sointeresting about growing up in
South Texas because breakingnews you and I are best friends,
but we're also cousins, so Igrew up in South Texas as well.
Go to therapy or simply ask forhelp is because they don't have
(07:10):
the language to describe whatthey're feeling, experiencing,
needing, so you go to an expertwho can help you identify those
feelings and emotions.
That being said, going back toyour childhood, did you even
have the language to know that alicensed family therapist was
something that was attainable,something that you wanted to
(07:31):
achieve later in life?
As you're asking me the question, I'm shaking my head pretty
vigorously.
No way, I didn't know.
I didn't know what help existedout there.
I didn't even know.
I don't even know if it existedat the time.
But I certainly didn't have thelanguage for identifying what I
was feeling during, let's say,puberty or as a young girl going
(07:56):
to college.
I really could identify withtwo or three main emotions
Scared, angry, happy.
That was it.
Yeah, and we thought that wasthe gamut, yeah, and I was
pretty proud of myself for beingable to say I was scared.
So as I've grown, I have hadaccess and exposure to different
(08:16):
types of emotions, how theyfeel in the body.
What help is out there?
I think even just an awarenessthat help is out there is huge.
And although I describe yourtrajectory to where you are
today as a kind of a swivel or aswerve, I mean a squiggly line
at best in some kindergartenclassroom.
(08:36):
But really, when you look atyour life, as we'll explore in
this episode, you really havejust been unraveling the onion
of working with people.
So you graduated from Wesl acoHigh School, you went on to the
University of Texas at Austinwhere you studied what Marketing
, and you intended to fully goon to the University of Houston
(09:00):
where you earned your master'sdegree.
To do and accomplish what afterthat?
where you earned your master'sdegree to do and accomplish what
after that?
I was going to run hotels andbars and restaurants the rest of
my life as a 21-year-old Ithink.
I got a master's in hotel andrestaurant management from U of
H and I loved being in thehospitality industry.
I loved serving people.
(09:20):
I have a heart for service andI also loved the hustle and
bustle of it, so I could servewith my heart and I could also
serve with my head inside of arestaurant.
It was a Tetris, a constantTetris.
It is, and of people andpersonalities too, because you
worked at some very well-knownsteakhouses.
(09:41):
You worked for I love to bragabout it ACL Live, which is an
incredible concert venue in thearea.
You're dealing with VIPs,you're dealing with celebrities,
you're dealing with bar backs,you're dealing with custodians,
and you see how all of thosedynamics play the power
struggles, the egos.
(10:02):
You're witnessing this in your20s right and you're noticing
what.
I'm noticing that when youreally connect with somebody,
things are better.
Doesn't matter if it's acustodian or a VIP customer or a
bar back or your boss.
When we can actually connect,we all work better together, and
(10:25):
part of the challenge wasfiguring out everybody's
personality and connecting withthem in a way that matters to
them.
It has to be sincere or else itwon't work, and so knowing
what's important to them,helping them accomplish their
goals at the same time as we areall accomplishing the venue
goal let's say, bruceSpringsteen is going to come
(10:46):
that day and everybody has to bein tip-top shape and so
encouraging everybody andmotivating them in ways that
matter to them really helped usaccomplish goals as a whole.
And then the interesting thingabout it was you were
discovering yourself.
I mean, you were in yourmid-20s at this point in your
career, and so were the peoplethat you're working with, and so
(11:09):
the bartender didn't see thatas their end game, right, they
had the hopes and dreams and youwere in a position as their
manager to kind of hear theiraspirations, and in a lot of
ways you cultivated thesecareers so that people could
continue to climb up, and I liketo think that that's maybe your
(11:30):
first example of what happenswhen you don't make decisions
for other people but you giveadvice, you give guidance and
you allow them to see more forthemselves.
Does any of that ring to you?
Did I just like take that outof the park?
Or does that sound like kind oftruly the early stages, like
(11:51):
what we all call like friendtherapy, like why do I need a
therapist when I can just callmy best friend?
Like this is literally how itall, I think, started for you.
Yes, and I would add to what yousaid believing in their own
capabilities, yeah, so I'venever been a fan of viewing
(12:12):
people as projects or that theyneed to be fixed.
Yeah Listen, I've done that ahandful of times in my life and
it has been the worst thing.
I haven't done that.
And believing that peopleshould walk in their own
autonomy and that they have thedignity to make their own
choices and that they have theability to decide whether they
(12:33):
want to go left or right orwhatever it is in their career
is unspoken.
And so when I was working withbartenders, et cetera, I
believed that about them.
I never looked down on anybodyor thought, oh, I'm your boss,
so I'm better than you.
It was more like this is therole I'm playing, this is the
(12:54):
role you're playing, andsometimes I would get in there
with them and bartend with them,and sometimes they would help
me out when I needed.
But we were all worthy, we wereall important.
And I wanted to say, as youwere speaking, I think the other
really integral part and youand I have joked about this off
(13:15):
camera, no, off recording isthat at a really young age, my
dad knew that emotionalintelligence was important.
I don't think he knew howimportant it was or that it
would be in my life, but hestarted giving me Dale Carnegie
books how to win friends andinfluence.
(13:36):
I thought she read it atkindergarten and I thought that
for a couple of weeks.
Celestine Prophecy, so aself-fulfilling prophecy.
He gave me just towers of booksand he said here these, and
even though I was younger, theywere planting seeds.
Yeah, and that leads me to mynext question.
(13:57):
Because you're providing somuch optimism and encouragement
for people in the restaurant andthe service industry, my
question to you is at a certainpoint did you start believing
all of those messages foryourself?
Because how does one go fromlate nights at a bar to you know
(14:18):
a therapist during the day?
That's such a good question.
I think I had to wear them likea coat, like a outfit in my
youth and I pretended, but notout of insincerity, but just I
was experimenting with thosebeliefs and as I grew into those
(14:40):
beliefs, I then started toembody them yeah that has come
with age.
I don't think I was faking it,I think it was just a function
of youth, and but I still ledwith them.
So what was the aha moment?
Did you just turn in your youknow your walking papers at ACL
Live one day and say I'm goingto go get my master's degree
(15:03):
because I want to be a licensedtherapist?
Was it a flip of a switch?
as simple as that there weremany, many bus stations in
between.
What were they?
Well, I met my now husband andhe said hey, I thought you said
you wanted to be a writer.
And at the time I said I do.
(15:25):
And he said you know writershave to write.
I thought rude, but I love you,rude, but let's get married.
Yeah, and just I remember wherewe were walking across the
street.
It wasn't a big conversation.
He just said writers have towrite.
He holds you accountable.
He really held me accountableas we crossed that street and I
(15:48):
thought, okay, and that was mysignal.
It was coming from him, but itwas also coming from inside of
me.
I could have done entertainmentmy whole life and it's very,
very fun, but I knew it wasn'tusing all parts of who I am.
I really knew that I had anability to stretch.
I didn't know where or what, soI started writing.
(16:11):
And you had taken a respiteright.
You had met your husband, youall got married, a child was on
the way about a year later, andat that time you really wanted
to kind of hone in on your homeand your family.
I did, and so there was a timefor you to pause and really
reflect.
(16:32):
There was a year, one year thatI did, and so there was a time
for you to pause and reallyreflect.
There was a year one year that Ipaused.
I think a lot of women canrelate to that right.
You either think at that point,this is the most I'm going to
do, or I had these dreams.
I really wanted to do it.
I don't know if it's going tohappen now.
I think I and I might bespeaking for some of your
clients, but they but motherhoodseems to be quite.
(16:53):
Might be speaking for some ofyour clients, but they but
motherhood seems to be quite thespeed bump for a lot of women.
A speed bump is anunderstatement.
Yeah, yes it once.
I became a mother, completelyreorganized my life and I had an
identity crisis.
I had always been very proudand I had hung my hat on the
(17:16):
fact that I had a master's atsuch a young age and I had all
these really bigresponsibilities in my 20s and I
was proud and I was a littlebit of a show off and a little
bit you know.
Look at me, I'm so fancy, myrestaurant has this amount of
revenue, or I host Jay-Z, orwhatever it was.
(17:38):
It became your identity.
It really became my identityand when I stepped away from
that, I was very sad.
It was very quiet and thatchange coupled with becoming a
mother well, all the changes inpregnancy and then becoming a
mother was a lot.
(17:58):
It was just a tsunami ofchanges and I was drowning.
And about two months afterbecoming a new mom, I sat down
and I started writing.
I didn't know what it was goingto be, but I knew that I had to
save myself.
So I started writing my firstbook Longhand on loose leaf
(18:22):
paper while my two-month-old wasnapping or sleeping.
And what was that like?
Did it feel like you know equalattention?
Was there any guilt related tothat?
Did you?
What did you feel like wantingto cling to writing which was
(18:42):
important to?
you postpartum depression and Iknew that I didn't feel good and
it was the first time in mylife I had ever been depressed
and I knew that I neededsomething and I didn't know what
.
And I was.
(19:03):
I was confined to my baby.
I was confined.
I didn't work outside of thehouse and I was confined to her
schedule.
And a lot of people may hearthe word confined and think, wow
, she's a bad mom, but that'swhat it felt like, because I
(19:25):
used to have this big life witha lot of freedom and all of a
sudden, I was in a home all dayresponsible for this infant and
my hormones were plummeting andI don't live around family and
my husband did his absolute best.
You know he was very, veryinvolved, but I was still
depressed and I knew that Ineeded.
I needed something.
(19:48):
I didn't't know what and Ithink I just it was God's
talking to me that said.
Start writing, chica.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And you leaned into yourtherapist at that point too,
sandy, or no, did I?
I don't know, I'm asking Idon't remember.
You would remember better, I do.
(20:08):
Okay, I do remember better, butI don't remember that moment.
I know it was a dark point foryou, and your oldest daughter,
alexandra, is now 11.
Yeah, she's gonna be 11, yes,in August you wrote.
(20:30):
You started writing on looseleaf paper and I had.
In retrospect I then hadsomething to pour creative
energy into.
That was mine, that I couldhang my hat on.
I think it was the first book.
I was really searching forsomething to hang my hat on
(20:50):
again in terms of career, and Iwanted to be impressive.
I wanted to say look at, lookat me, look at what I did.
The second book wasn't likethat, but the first book very
much was, and that's okay.
You know, I give myself a graceabout that.
I was a new mom trying to findmy way, trying to find yourself,
(21:12):
trying to find myself, this newwoman with these new
circumstances.
And from the beginning to endit took three years to publish
that book and I God gave me somany blessings during that time
for that book.
I mean, he just paved the way.
(21:33):
In a lot of ways.
I still had difficulties, ofcourse, but the book was an
amazing milestone for me.
What's it called?
The Courage to Become, Storiesof Hope for Navigating Love,
Marriage and Motherhood.
That book.
For me, reading it was sopivotal because it's very
(21:53):
different from your second book,which is called A Gentle Return
Also great, both available atBook People.
But the interesting thing aboutCourage to Become is you did a
lot of research, of research youpulled from a lot of sources
(22:16):
and for me I think looking at myfriend write a book and going
to other experts is what openedyour mind to I could be more
than just a writer.
I could be in the mental healthspace as a licensed
professional and slowly butsurely you took some classes,
you got some certifications I'llhave you talk about these
(22:37):
things and we've got to whereyou are.
But it took a lot of researchand essentially experimenting on
yourself.
Oh yes, I went back and lookedat some YouTube videos the other
day when I was just starting towrite a blog and I thought God
bless me.
I was so, so precious, like alittle baby calf.
(22:59):
Why do you say that Because Iwas putting it out there.
I didn't know anything aboutnot that I do now, but I didn't
know.
I had no mental health trainingbut I was really wanting to
give what I had.
You wanted to share it.
I wanted to share.
(23:19):
I wanted to share and show upfor other people and people like
Rob Bell or Brene Brown, drBrene Brown, elizabeth Gilbert,
dr Shefali, dr Shefali,elizabeth Gilbert, um, dr
Shefali, dr Shefali, richardRohr there were so many
luminaries that I looked to tolearn from.
(23:39):
I've always been a fan oflearning and growing and as I
looked at their lives, they were, they were expansive, they,
they tried many, many things.
Okay, but that's an interestingpoint, because I don't know if
anybody else is thinking this asKatya is talking, but sometimes
(24:00):
I tend to do this If I takestock of what's already out in
the world and there's expert A,b, c and D, then kind of that
shame little animal inside of mybrain says then there's no need
for you, melissa, to go out anddo it.
(24:21):
There's already exceptionalwork being done now.
But you started learning fromthese trusted sources.
What was the inner dialoguethat said there's space for me
too the inner dialogue.
That said, there's space for metoo.
I think of, let's just say,with Dr Brene Brown.
She's like Niagara Falls.
She is this huge, amazingcreature.
She's just.
She does so much good in theworld, but not everybody can get
(24:43):
to Niagara Falls.
I've never been to NiagaraFalls.
I've never been to NiagaraFalls.
For me, I may be your littlelocal creek, but I can provide
some respite and some beauty andsomething that's life-giving to
the person who can get to me.
And they're not comparable.
They're not the same.
(25:03):
No, but they're both naturalbeauties.
Yes, in so many ways.
Enriched with so many justtreasures.
Yes, yes, and not everybody canget toriched with so many, just
treasures.
Yes, yes, and not everybody canget to Niagara Falls, and that's
okay.
But how many little creeks dowe all have around us, just ways
that people can enrich ourlives?
(25:23):
And I think that of artists,painters, writers, musicians not
everybody is.
Who's a great musician thesedays?
Chris Stapleton.
But we can go to asinger-songwriter show here down
the road at a local pub orrestaurant, and that's going to
(25:44):
be an amazing night for somebody.
So I tried not to look, I triednot to compare myself, so I
tried not to look, I tried notto compare myself and I tried to
just say do what you can andprovide beauty where you can.
So you're on the eve of your42nd birthday yes and in this is
a very cliff's notes version ofreviewing kind of the
(26:04):
trajectory of your life.
But what are you?
What are of?
Your own story?
Inspires you?
Do you have any things that youwish you could go back and do
better?
Do changing any regrets?
Like what's the review?
Wow, that's a great question.
Something that I regret, Ithink I regret not creating a
(26:32):
team or not working with otherpeople sooner in this world.
As an author, speaker,therapist, I was pretty lonely
for a while.
Why didn't you seek help?
I didn't think I could afford it.
I also didn't think I just Idon't think I knew how to the
(26:53):
model of business, how thatwould work, and I was primarily
a mom I raised.
I wanted to be home and raisemy children and I knew that
expanding my business would takeme away from home.
And I still want to be home.
I love my kids and I want tohang out with them and I want to
(27:16):
jump on the trampoline withthem.
And I think the whole time I'vebeen in my career and a mom,
it's been a balancing act andtitrating a little bit here, a
little bit there.
And as my kids get olderthey're now almost 11 and eight
and a half, don't forget thehalf there is more time and
(27:38):
space.
They don't need me at home asmuch.
They can make their ownbreakfast and things like that,
so I have more opportunities todo fun things like this when
before I wouldn't have evenentertained them because I
wanted to be home, correct.
I mean well, not correct, butthat makes sense.
The interesting thing is too isyou explored becoming a
(27:59):
licensed therapist during theglobal COVID pandemic?
I did.
Where you did, I think, almostall schooling with the exception
of a few classes online, allschooling with the exception of
a few classes online.
Navigating that experience foryour children and your husband
and your family, which was likealso isolating.
It was actually backward.
(28:20):
I did the first, I did thefirst year online and the last
two years in person, so most ofmy classes were in person.
So it was a real.
That was a real undertaking.
Yeah.
And so for the folks who mightbe listening, who say I relate
(28:41):
to Catia in this way you know,my life is kind of ping-ponged
and mentally I've gotten towhere I'm at or the folks who
think mental wellness is aluxury and they just don't have
space for it now.
And then they're hearing youwho is a mother and loves being
with her girls.
When we look at your practiceand the work that you're doing
(29:04):
with people, what excites you?
What encourages you to keepgoing?
The way I see that people areresilient, the way I have seen
them grow and heal there isnothing like it.
It is we are.
I often say you know, we'rejust walking around, we're at
(29:25):
Walmart or we're at Ace Hardwareor we're going and getting ice
cream with our friends or familyand we all look like normal
people, but we are so strong andso able and so resilient and
that is what really inspires methat we can hold these hurts and
(29:46):
heal and grow and move on andstill show up for our nieces and
nephews and children andspouses.
And I just think that the humancapacity to grow and heal and
to be good is so big and that'swhat gives me hope.
It gives you hope and it givesyou the encouragement to help
(30:09):
others, and so I can't wait totalk to you about this in the
next episode.
But essentially, we're gonnatake all of your own life
experiences and talk about howyou're pouring this into your
sessions with folks.
Let's see what we can take awayfrom what you've learned.
Melissa, I love you.
Thank you for being here.
Thank you.
If this conversation clarifiedsomething for you or helped you
(30:32):
feel a little more seen, pleaseshare it with someone you care
about.
You can follow along for moregrounded, soulful conversations
and know that this space is hereto support you.
Thank you for being with ustoday.
Welcome to Couch Time with Cat , your safe place for real
conversation and a gentlecheck-in.
KWVH presents Couch Time withCat.
Welcome to Couch Time with Cat,mental wellness with a friendly
voice.
I'm your host, Cat, a therapist, coach, best-selling author and
TEDx speaker.
I've spent years supportingpeople around the world as they
(00:22):
navigate healing, growth andeverything in between.
This show is a place for honestconversations.
It's where we take a breath,sit down together and talk about
the things that really matterOur struggles, our stories, our
hopes and our capacity to change.
We're coming to you fromWimberley Valley Radio, right
(00:43):
here in the heart of Texas HillCountry.
Whether you're deep in yourhealing or just starting to
wonder what that even means, youare welcome here.
Today marks the beginning ofthis show, and before we dive
into stories, guests and souldeep dialogue, I want to start
with something personal.
I believe if we're going totravel this journey together,
(01:05):
you should know who you'rewriting with, so I've invited
someone very special to me tohelp do just that.
Melissa Correa is a veteranjournalist, a seasoned
speechwriter and one of the mostrespected storytellers in media
.
She spent nearly two decadesasking the right questions and
giving voice to stories thatmatter, and she's also my best
(01:30):
friend, lucky me.
Melissa has seen me through themessy middles and the
breakthroughs.
She knows my heart, my work andwhy I care so deeply about the
people I serve.
Today, she's flipping thescript and taking the mic to
interview me so you can get afeel for who I am, why this show
(01:51):
exists and what you can expectfrom our time together.
This is where our journeybegins.
Hi Hi Melzi how are you?
I'm well, how are you?
I'm good and this is such anexciting opportunity this radio
show, couch Time with Cat.
Maybe some days there might bea meow, maybe some days there
(02:12):
might be something else.
But I really loved listening tothat intro because we hadn't
really talked about the detailsof it, the definition of what
you're trying to accomplish withthis show, and went mental
wellness with a friendly voice,and then I highlighted our
struggles, our stories, ourhopes and our capacity to change
(02:34):
.
And so I think this episode isreally important because you are
part of the hour, right, youare the part of the collective
and so, no matter where thisshow goes, you are the part of
the collective and so, no matterwhere this show goes, you're
also going to be sharing yourown experiences, right?
That's so true.
I hadn't thought about it inthat way, but yes, I feel like
(02:54):
I'm on the journey with thelistener too.
Yes, and it's important for thelistener to know who they're
talking to, who they'relistening to, and I think
there's something so impressiveabout being in the hill country
recording this show today.
But you and I are from the RioGrande Valley and then I was
thinking all the hills andvalleys that life brings us.
(03:17):
Okay, so you're not from theWimberley area.
Where are you from originally?
I'm from South Texas.
I'm from the Rio Grande Valley.
I'm a proud Mexican American.
I grew up in a small citycalled Wesl aco and it's grown
now, but when you and I weregrowing up there it had one high
school.
And I just love where I'm from.
(03:41):
I love the people, I love theculture.
It's primarily Mexican American.
Lots of Spanish is spoken, lotsof beautiful Mexican traditions
, and I grew up really immersedin that culture.
And it's so interesting that youtalk about your connection to
your culture.
Correct me if I'm wrong, thoughMental health therapy, mental
(04:06):
wellness Was that part of theconversation you had growing up
in South Texas our parents.
(04:27):
One of my parents is animmigrant.
Both my parents were migrantsand they were so hardworking and
they still are to this day andthey were trying to make a
better life for their familiesand that requires a lot of hard
work and there just wasn't a lotof space for mental wellness.
Not to say that I had an overlydifficult time I think I had
normal bullying and things likethat but the culture wasn't
(04:50):
focused on mental wellness.
They were focused on thingslike higher education or making
sure you have enough volunteerhours so you get into college
yeah, working your way up, right, working our way up.
And what my parents did providefor me is this level of safety
where I was emotionally safe,physically safe.
(05:10):
I was very loved and that hasgiven me the luxury to now think
about mental wellness, becauseI did get a higher education, I
did pursue those goals and it'skind of higher education, I did
pursue those goals and it's kindof like I have a little bit of
a respite and I can take a deepbreath and expand my view and
(05:31):
really take mental wellness intothe picture, when before I
couldn't Is mental healthprioritizing that.
Is that a luxury?
I think so.
Why?
I think being able to havemargin and bandwidth to even
think about it is a luxury.
I think a lot of people areliving paycheck to paycheck and
(05:53):
they are trying to do their bestto cook a good dinner for their
kids and hug their kids aftersoccer practice and make sure
they do their project at workcorrectly and they're taking
care.
They're checking those boxesand there isn't a lot of time or
space for the rest.
It has to be created.
(06:15):
It's not just oh, from six toseven.
I'm going to focus on my mentalwellness.
It's really something that youhave to be deliberate about.
It's really something that youhave to be deliberate about.
Well, how special that this showexists now.
Right, Because for people whomay not have the time to
dedicate to a full therapysession, they can, at their
(06:39):
leisure, listen to this show andshare space with you.
And if it gives them five moreminutes to kind of explore
thoughts a little bit moredeeply, then it's five minutes
well spent.
I think so.
The other thing that's sointeresting about growing up in
South Texas because breakingnews you and I are best friends,
but we're also cousins, so Igrew up in South Texas as well.
Go to therapy or simply ask forhelp is because they don't have
(07:10):
the language to describe whatthey're feeling, experiencing,
needing, so you go to an expertwho can help you identify those
feelings and emotions.
That being said, going back toyour childhood, did you even
have the language to know that alicensed family therapist was
something that was attainable,something that you wanted to
(07:31):
achieve later in life?
As you're asking me the question, I'm shaking my head pretty
vigorously.
No way, I didn't know.
I didn't know what help existedout there.
I didn't even know.
I don't even know if it existedat the time.
But I certainly didn't have thelanguage for identifying what I
was feeling during, let's say,puberty or as a young girl going
(07:56):
to college.
I really could identify withtwo or three main emotions
Scared, angry, happy.
That was it.
Yeah, and we thought that wasthe gamut, yeah, and I was
pretty proud of myself for beingable to say I was scared.
So as I've grown, I have hadaccess and exposure to different
(08:16):
types of emotions, how theyfeel in the body.
What help is out there?
I think even just an awarenessthat help is out there is huge.
And although I describe yourtrajectory to where you are
today as a kind of a swivel or aswerve, I mean a squiggly line
at best in some kindergartenclassroom.
(08:36):
But really, when you look atyour life, as we'll explore in
this episode, you really havejust been unraveling the onion
of working with people.
So you graduated from Wesl acoHigh School, you went on to the
University of Texas at Austinwhere you studied what Marketing
, and you intended to fully goon to the University of Houston
(09:00):
where you earned your master'sdegree.
To do and accomplish what afterthat?
where you earned your master'sdegree to do and accomplish what
after that?
I was going to run hotels andbars and restaurants the rest of
my life as a 21-year-old Ithink.
I got a master's in hotel andrestaurant management from U of
H and I loved being in thehospitality industry.
I loved serving people.
(09:20):
I have a heart for service andI also loved the hustle and
bustle of it, so I could servewith my heart and I could also
serve with my head inside of arestaurant.
It was a Tetris, a constantTetris.
It is, and of people andpersonalities too, because you
worked at some very well-knownsteakhouses.
(09:41):
You worked for I love to bragabout it ACL Live, which is an
incredible concert venue in thearea.
You're dealing with VIPs,you're dealing with celebrities,
you're dealing with bar backs,you're dealing with custodians,
and you see how all of thosedynamics play the power
struggles, the egos.
(10:02):
You're witnessing this in your20s right and you're noticing
what.
I'm noticing that when youreally connect with somebody,
things are better.
Doesn't matter if it's acustodian or a VIP customer or a
bar back or your boss.
When we can actually connect,we all work better together, and
(10:25):
part of the challenge wasfiguring out everybody's
personality and connecting withthem in a way that matters to
them.
It has to be sincere or else itwon't work, and so knowing
what's important to them,helping them accomplish their
goals at the same time as we areall accomplishing the venue
goal let's say, bruceSpringsteen is going to come
(10:46):
that day and everybody has to bein tip-top shape and so
encouraging everybody andmotivating them in ways that
matter to them really helped usaccomplish goals as a whole.
And then the interesting thingabout it was you were
discovering yourself.
I mean, you were in yourmid-20s at this point in your
career, and so were the peoplethat you're working with, and so
(11:09):
the bartender didn't see thatas their end game, right, they
had the hopes and dreams and youwere in a position as their
manager to kind of hear theiraspirations, and in a lot of
ways you cultivated thesecareers so that people could
continue to climb up, and I liketo think that that's maybe your
(11:30):
first example of what happenswhen you don't make decisions
for other people but you giveadvice, you give guidance and
you allow them to see more forthemselves.
Does any of that ring to you?
Did I just like take that outof the park?
Or does that sound like kind oftruly the early stages, like
(11:51):
what we all call like friendtherapy, like why do I need a
therapist when I can just callmy best friend?
Like this is literally how itall, I think, started for you.
Yes, and I would add to what yousaid believing in their own
capabilities, yeah, so I'venever been a fan of viewing
(12:12):
people as projects or that theyneed to be fixed.
Yeah Listen, I've done that ahandful of times in my life and
it has been the worst thing.
I haven't done that.
And believing that peopleshould walk in their own
autonomy and that they have thedignity to make their own
choices and that they have theability to decide whether they
(12:33):
want to go left or right orwhatever it is in their career
is unspoken.
And so when I was working withbartenders, et cetera, I
believed that about them.
I never looked down on anybodyor thought, oh, I'm your boss,
so I'm better than you.
It was more like this is therole I'm playing, this is the
(12:54):
role you're playing, andsometimes I would get in there
with them and bartend with them,and sometimes they would help
me out when I needed.
But we were all worthy, we wereall important.
And I wanted to say, as youwere speaking, I think the other
really integral part and youand I have joked about this off
(13:15):
camera, no, off recording isthat at a really young age, my
dad knew that emotionalintelligence was important.
I don't think he knew howimportant it was or that it
would be in my life, but hestarted giving me Dale Carnegie
books how to win friends andinfluence.
(13:36):
I thought she read it atkindergarten and I thought that
for a couple of weeks.
Celestine Prophecy, so aself-fulfilling prophecy.
He gave me just towers of booksand he said here these, and
even though I was younger, theywere planting seeds.
Yeah, and that leads me to mynext question.
(13:57):
Because you're providing somuch optimism and encouragement
for people in the restaurant andthe service industry, my
question to you is at a certainpoint did you start believing
all of those messages foryourself?
Because how does one go fromlate nights at a bar to you know
(14:18):
a therapist during the day?
That's such a good question.
I think I had to wear them likea coat, like a outfit in my
youth and I pretended, but notout of insincerity, but just I
was experimenting with thosebeliefs and as I grew into those
(14:40):
beliefs, I then started toembody them yeah that has come
with age.
I don't think I was faking it,I think it was just a function
of youth, and but I still ledwith them.
So what was the aha moment?
Did you just turn in your youknow your walking papers at ACL
Live one day and say I'm goingto go get my master's degree
(15:03):
because I want to be a licensedtherapist?
Was it a flip of a switch?
as simple as that there weremany, many bus stations in
between.
What were they?
Well, I met my now husband andhe said hey, I thought you said
you wanted to be a writer.
And at the time I said I do.
(15:25):
And he said you know writershave to write.
I thought rude, but I love you,rude, but let's get married.
Yeah, and just I remember wherewe were walking across the
street.
It wasn't a big conversation.
He just said writers have towrite.
He holds you accountable.
He really held me accountableas we crossed that street and I
(15:48):
thought, okay, and that was mysignal.
It was coming from him, but itwas also coming from inside of
me.
I could have done entertainmentmy whole life and it's very,
very fun, but I knew it wasn'tusing all parts of who I am.
I really knew that I had anability to stretch.
I didn't know where or what, soI started writing.
(16:11):
And you had taken a respiteright.
You had met your husband, youall got married, a child was on
the way about a year later, andat that time you really wanted
to kind of hone in on your homeand your family.
I did, and so there was a timefor you to pause and really
reflect.
(16:32):
There was a year, one year thatI did, and so there was a time
for you to pause and reallyreflect.
There was a year one year that Ipaused.
I think a lot of women canrelate to that right.
You either think at that point,this is the most I'm going to
do, or I had these dreams.
I really wanted to do it.
I don't know if it's going tohappen now.
I think I and I might bespeaking for some of your
clients, but they but motherhoodseems to be quite.
(16:53):
Might be speaking for some ofyour clients, but they but
motherhood seems to be quite thespeed bump for a lot of women.
A speed bump is anunderstatement.
Yeah, yes it once.
I became a mother, completelyreorganized my life and I had an
identity crisis.
I had always been very proudand I had hung my hat on the
(17:16):
fact that I had a master's atsuch a young age and I had all
these really bigresponsibilities in my 20s and I
was proud and I was a littlebit of a show off and a little
bit you know.
Look at me, I'm so fancy, myrestaurant has this amount of
revenue, or I host Jay-Z, orwhatever it was.
(17:38):
It became your identity.
It really became my identityand when I stepped away from
that, I was very sad.
It was very quiet and thatchange coupled with becoming a
mother well, all the changes inpregnancy and then becoming a
mother was a lot.
(17:58):
It was just a tsunami ofchanges and I was drowning.
And about two months afterbecoming a new mom, I sat down
and I started writing.
I didn't know what it was goingto be, but I knew that I had to
save myself.
So I started writing my firstbook Longhand on loose leaf
(18:22):
paper while my two-month-old wasnapping or sleeping.
And what was that like?
Did it feel like you know equalattention?
Was there any guilt related tothat?
Did you?
What did you feel like wantingto cling to writing which was
(18:42):
important to?
you postpartum depression and Iknew that I didn't feel good and
it was the first time in mylife I had ever been depressed
and I knew that I neededsomething and I didn't know what
.
And I was.
(19:03):
I was confined to my baby.
I was confined.
I didn't work outside of thehouse and I was confined to her
schedule.
And a lot of people may hearthe word confined and think, wow
, she's a bad mom, but that'swhat it felt like, because I
(19:25):
used to have this big life witha lot of freedom and all of a
sudden, I was in a home all dayresponsible for this infant and
my hormones were plummeting andI don't live around family and
my husband did his absolute best.
You know he was very, veryinvolved, but I was still
depressed and I knew that Ineeded.
I needed something.
(19:48):
I didn't't know what and Ithink I just it was God's
talking to me that said.
Start writing, chica.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And you leaned into yourtherapist at that point too,
sandy, or no, did I?
I don't know, I'm asking Idon't remember.
You would remember better, I do.
(20:08):
Okay, I do remember better, butI don't remember that moment.
I know it was a dark point foryou, and your oldest daughter,
alexandra, is now 11.
Yeah, she's gonna be 11, yes,in August you wrote.
(20:30):
You started writing on looseleaf paper and I had.
In retrospect I then hadsomething to pour creative
energy into.
That was mine, that I couldhang my hat on.
I think it was the first book.
I was really searching forsomething to hang my hat on
(20:50):
again in terms of career, and Iwanted to be impressive.
I wanted to say look at, lookat me, look at what I did.
The second book wasn't likethat, but the first book very
much was, and that's okay.
You know, I give myself a graceabout that.
I was a new mom trying to findmy way, trying to find yourself,
(21:12):
trying to find myself, this newwoman with these new
circumstances.
And from the beginning to endit took three years to publish
that book and I God gave me somany blessings during that time
for that book.
I mean, he just paved the way.
(21:33):
In a lot of ways.
I still had difficulties, ofcourse, but the book was an
amazing milestone for me.
What's it called?
The Courage to Become, Storiesof Hope for Navigating Love,
Marriage and Motherhood.
That book.
For me, reading it was sopivotal because it's very
(21:53):
different from your second book,which is called A Gentle Return
Also great, both available atBook People.
But the interesting thing aboutCourage to Become is you did a
lot of research, of research youpulled from a lot of sources
(22:16):
and for me I think looking at myfriend write a book and going
to other experts is what openedyour mind to I could be more
than just a writer.
I could be in the mental healthspace as a licensed
professional and slowly butsurely you took some classes,
you got some certifications I'llhave you talk about these
(22:37):
things and we've got to whereyou are.
But it took a lot of researchand essentially experimenting on
yourself.
Oh yes, I went back and lookedat some YouTube videos the other
day when I was just starting towrite a blog and I thought God
bless me.
I was so, so precious, like alittle baby calf.
(22:59):
Why do you say that Because Iwas putting it out there.
I didn't know anything aboutnot that I do now, but I didn't
know.
I had no mental health trainingbut I was really wanting to
give what I had.
You wanted to share it.
I wanted to share.
(23:19):
I wanted to share and show upfor other people and people like
Rob Bell or Brene Brown, drBrene Brown, elizabeth Gilbert,
dr Shefali, dr Shefali,elizabeth Gilbert, um, dr
Shefali, dr Shefali, richardRohr there were so many
luminaries that I looked to tolearn from.
(23:39):
I've always been a fan oflearning and growing and as I
looked at their lives, they were, they were expansive, they,
they tried many, many things.
Okay, but that's an interestingpoint, because I don't know if
anybody else is thinking this asKatya is talking, but sometimes
(24:00):
I tend to do this If I takestock of what's already out in
the world and there's expert A,b, c and D, then kind of that
shame little animal inside of mybrain says then there's no need
for you, melissa, to go out anddo it.
(24:21):
There's already exceptionalwork being done now.
But you started learning fromthese trusted sources.
What was the inner dialoguethat said there's space for me
too the inner dialogue.
That said, there's space for metoo.
I think of, let's just say,with Dr Brene Brown.
She's like Niagara Falls.
She is this huge, amazingcreature.
She's just.
She does so much good in theworld, but not everybody can get
(24:43):
to Niagara Falls.
I've never been to NiagaraFalls.
I've never been to NiagaraFalls.
For me, I may be your littlelocal creek, but I can provide
some respite and some beauty andsomething that's life-giving to
the person who can get to me.
And they're not comparable.
They're not the same.
(25:03):
No, but they're both naturalbeauties.
Yes, in so many ways.
Enriched with so many justtreasures.
Yes, yes, and not everybody canget toriched with so many, just
treasures.
Yes, yes, and not everybody canget to Niagara Falls, and that's
okay.
But how many little creeks dowe all have around us, just ways
that people can enrich ourlives?
(25:23):
And I think that of artists,painters, writers, musicians not
everybody is.
Who's a great musician thesedays?
Chris Stapleton.
But we can go to asinger-songwriter show here down
the road at a local pub orrestaurant, and that's going to
(25:44):
be an amazing night for somebody.
So I tried not to look, I triednot to compare myself, so I
tried not to look, I tried notto compare myself and I tried to
just say do what you can andprovide beauty where you can.
So you're on the eve of your42nd birthday yes and in this is
a very cliff's notes version ofreviewing kind of the
(26:04):
trajectory of your life.
But what are you?
What are of?
Your own story?
Inspires you?
Do you have any things that youwish you could go back and do
better?
Do changing any regrets?
Like what's the review?
Wow, that's a great question.
Something that I regret, Ithink I regret not creating a
(26:32):
team or not working with otherpeople sooner in this world.
As an author, speaker,therapist, I was pretty lonely
for a while.
Why didn't you seek help?
I didn't think I could afford it.
I also didn't think I just Idon't think I knew how to the
(26:53):
model of business, how thatwould work, and I was primarily
a mom I raised.
I wanted to be home and raisemy children and I knew that
expanding my business would takeme away from home.
And I still want to be home.
I love my kids and I want tohang out with them and I want to
(27:16):
jump on the trampoline withthem.
And I think the whole time I'vebeen in my career and a mom,
it's been a balancing act andtitrating a little bit here, a
little bit there.
And as my kids get olderthey're now almost 11 and eight
and a half, don't forget thehalf there is more time and
(27:38):
space.
They don't need me at home asmuch.
They can make their ownbreakfast and things like that,
so I have more opportunities todo fun things like this when
before I wouldn't have evenentertained them because I
wanted to be home, correct.
I mean well, not correct, butthat makes sense.
The interesting thing is too isyou explored becoming a
(27:59):
licensed therapist during theglobal COVID pandemic?
I did.
Where you did, I think, almostall schooling with the exception
of a few classes online, allschooling with the exception of
a few classes online.
Navigating that experience foryour children and your husband
and your family, which was likealso isolating.
It was actually backward.
(28:20):
I did the first, I did thefirst year online and the last
two years in person, so most ofmy classes were in person.
So it was a real.
That was a real undertaking.
Yeah.
And so for the folks who mightbe listening, who say I relate
(28:41):
to Catia in this way you know,my life is kind of ping-ponged
and mentally I've gotten towhere I'm at or the folks who
think mental wellness is aluxury and they just don't have
space for it now.
And then they're hearing youwho is a mother and loves being
with her girls.
When we look at your practiceand the work that you're doing
(29:04):
with people, what excites you?
What encourages you to keepgoing?
The way I see that people areresilient, the way I have seen
them grow and heal there isnothing like it.
It is we are.
I often say you know, we'rejust walking around, we're at
(29:25):
Walmart or we're at Ace Hardwareor we're going and getting ice
cream with our friends or familyand we all look like normal
people, but we are so strong andso able and so resilient and
that is what really inspires methat we can hold these hurts and
(29:46):
heal and grow and move on andstill show up for our nieces and
nephews and children andspouses.
And I just think that the humancapacity to grow and heal and
to be good is so big and that'swhat gives me hope.
It gives you hope and it givesyou the encouragement to help
(30:09):
others, and so I can't wait totalk to you about this in the
next episode.
But essentially, we're gonnatake all of your own life
experiences and talk about howyou're pouring this into your
sessions with folks.
Let's see what we can take awayfrom what you've learned.
Melissa, I love you.
Thank you for being here.
Thank you.
If this conversation clarifiedsomething for you or helped you
(30:32):
feel a little more seen, pleaseshare it with someone you care
about.
You can follow along for moregrounded, soulful conversations
and know that this space is hereto support you.
Thank you for being with ustoday.
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