All Episodes

March 6, 2025 34 mins

Gillian gets into a vortex of shrinky theory (she does this a lot) and brings in Kohut's theory of Self Psychology, which defines some primary things that children need to get from their caregivers to develop well.  Today we focus on the first of these which is "mirroring," or a caregiver's ability to reflect back to a child that they are loved and special because GUESS WHAT, how this did or didn't happen for us will directly impact the ways that we will crave to be witnessed and seen by our romantic partners!  Gillian and Tink reflect on their own childhood histories and how these have impacted the validation they have tended to seek from romantic partners, and also draw from the themes they see all the time in couples work to provide ideas on how to understand the potential intensity of the need to be witnessed in romance, and how to temper and balance that with reasonable adult expectations.  Unsurprisingly, we also bring in themes of relationship anarchy and the importance of close friends as sources of mirroring as well.

Resources: 

Article on Kohut's self-psychology:

https://unpackingthesuitcaseblog.wordpress.com/2017/10/26/heinz-kohut-self-psychology/

Dr. Becky:

goodinside.com 


Send your questions to us at: https://ouremotionalphysics.com/contact

Find us on instagram at https://www.instagram.com/emotionalphysicspodcast

Mark as Played

Advertise With Us

Popular Podcasts

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

On Purpose with Jay Shetty

I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!

Dateline NBC

Dateline NBC

Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com

Stuff You Should Know

Stuff You Should Know

If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.

Music, radio and podcasts, all free. Listen online or download the iHeart App.

Connect

© 2025 iHeartMedia, Inc.