Gillian gets into a vortex of shrinky theory (she does this a lot) and brings in Kohut's theory of Self Psychology, which defines some primary things that children need to get from their caregivers to develop well. Today we focus on the first of these which is "mirroring," or a caregiver's ability to reflect back to a child that they are loved and special because GUESS WHAT, how this did or didn't happen for us will directly impact the ways that we will crave to be witnessed and seen by our romantic partners! Gillian and Tink reflect on their own childhood histories and how these have impacted the validation they have tended to seek from romantic partners, and also draw from the themes they see all the time in couples work to provide ideas on how to understand the potential intensity of the need to be witnessed in romance, and how to temper and balance that with reasonable adult expectations. Unsurprisingly, we also bring in themes of relationship anarchy and the importance of close friends as sources of mirroring as well.
Resources:
Article on Kohut's self-psychology:
https://unpackingthesuitcaseblog.wordpress.com/2017/10/26/heinz-kohut-self-psychology/
Dr. Becky:
goodinside.com
Send your questions to us at: https://ouremotionalphysics.com/contact
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