Wasted Your 20s? Reset in 30 Days

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In this episode, Rich and Justin pull out old photos from their 20s—broke, stressed, overweight, and lost—and break down the 4-week reset framework they wish they had back then.

This isn’t theory. It’s the same reality check, mindset shifts, and step-by-step moves that helped them climb out of debt, heartbreak, and dead ends—and build careers, families, and momentum in their 30s.

If this episode hits home, share it with a homie who needs a reset—"iron sharpens iron".

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We're not gods. We're not gurus.
Just two men in our 30s sharing what we’ve learned the hard way—so you don’t have to.

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Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_01 (00:00):
You have to relieve yourself of the victim
mentality.
Even if you are, trust me, Iknow reality is crazy.
And people come from fucked upsituations.
Rich and I know that very wellbecause we didn't come from the
best circumstances.

(00:22):
But one, you have to get rid ofthat victim mentality.
You have to free yourself ofthat because I feel like you
can't move forward if you alwayssee yourself as a victim and you
tell yourself that story.
I try not to say it every week,but for whatever reason, this
topic really hit home.
And, you know, I think whattriggered it for me was watching

(00:44):
young guys in our community.
Actually, there was two or threestories that I saw in our
immediate community that kind oftriggered this episode.
And I sent you the idea and mostpeople should know rich, is not
someone that enjoys repeatinghimself often.
He hates the idea of justspeaking just for the sake of

(01:06):
speaking.
And I'm sure if you guyscouldn't tell, I do enjoy
speaking.
So, Rich just hit me back andwas like, I think we discussed
this topic already.
And my response was like, wereally didn't because this
episode is about men that are intheir late 20s or already in
their 30s that feel like theywant to quit.

(01:29):
They want to quit whatever goalsor dreams or ambitions they
have.
And they've already convincedthemselves that they wasted
their 20s.
So today's episode is aboutwasting your 20s or the idea
that you already wasted your20s.
And my response to Rich was,find a picture of you in your

(01:49):
20s and send it to me.
And I'm going to send youpictures of me in my 20s.
And instantly, Rich and Iagreed, there's no way anybody
could say they wasted their 20s.
because if we are men in ourlate 30s and we're prideful and
proud of what we've become andwhat we still have time to
become in that moment in thesetwo pictures that we have here

(02:12):
rich and if you're on the audiopodcast the picture of rich at
20 something holding his sonlooking absolutely depressed you
got a t-shirt that the sleeve issleeve looks like a scene better
day and then you got a pictureof fat Justin at Lollapalooza
with no job I had no job at thatmoment with my good friend,
Charlie, who runs a huge merchcompany now.

(02:33):
If you would have asked us inthis moment in our lives, if we
were killing it, if we werecrushing our 20s, what would be
the response, Rich?

SPEAKER_00 (02:40):
Bro, I think we were just trying to stay above water.
When you're actually living inthe moment in your 20s and you
feel like you're in the trenchesand you're just firefighting
different situations, you'rejust trying to stay above water.
So you don't even have time toreflect about whether you're
crushing it at life or You'rejust kind of taking it day by

(03:01):
day.

SPEAKER_01 (03:01):
There is a narrative online about the lost generation
or the loneliness epidemic.
There is this narrative onlineabout young men in their 20s
that don't have it together.
I have to call bullshitbecause...
In the hood, where we're from,if the threshold that they're

(03:21):
holding most men in their 20s isprobably based on like a white
American narrative of peoplethat come from two parent
households that have jointincome that both went to
college.
When I was kind of readingthrough the research we had for
this episode and gettingfeedback from our community, it
almost felt like, shit, if thesepeople are wasting their 20s and

(03:46):
they're not quote unquotesuccessful by the age of 28,
then we most definitely wastedour 20s.
And that's the measurement thatwe're going off of.
So this idea of people wastingtheir 20s and following this
narrative while you're stillunderwater drowning is bullshit.
That's the first thing I thoughtof when I saw a picture of me
and you in our 20s.

SPEAKER_00 (04:06):
Yeah, I agree.
And it really depends who you'recomparing yourself to.
A lot of times you're in your20s and you feel like you don't
have it all the way together,but you're looking at people
people that are a little bitolder than you that appear to do
have it together.
But these people are a littlebit older, right?
They probably have a better jobor they went to college or

(04:26):
they're just in a differentplace in life.
So it really depends on whoyou're comparing yourself into.
If you're comparing yourselfagainst your peers, right?
Most of your peers are going tofeel like they're still going
through it and they're stilltrying to figure out life and
they feel stuck.

(04:46):
But But who are you comparingyourself to?
The people that are older thanyou, people on social media that
appear to be wealthy or are justgiven the illusion that they're
wealthy.
It kind of just all depends.

SPEAKER_01 (04:58):
I mean, look, we always say we're in our late 30s
and we're looking forward togiving young men advice.
But more importantly, I thinkwhat was the genesis of this
platform was giving ourselvesadvice 10 or 15 years ago.
So this is the perfect episode,right?
Because we have photos.
right in front of us of 15 yearsago Rich and about 15 years ago

(05:22):
Justin.
And I sit here looking at thisphoto and I think about all the
notes we took, our pre-prepmeeting, how we were going to
help young men in their 20s thatfeel like they're wasting their
20s.
And honestly, the first thingthat comes to mind, and this is
going to summarize theintroduction of this episode, is
that I have great compassion fora young guy that's still trying
to figure it out at the age of27, 28, and 29 because my life

(05:46):
didn't start catching momentumuntil I was in my 30s.
And I'm talking about likemaking over$80,000 a year
momentum.
I don't know the measurementthat a lot of these young guys
are basing it off of, but youbrought up a good point.
Your success is predicated basedon the pressure that society
puts on you and your success andthe pressure that you put on
yourself is based on who youfollow on social media, what

(06:08):
bullshit you believe is reality.
So I want to start this episodeoff with compassion.
You did not waste your 20s.
If you're still in your 20s, theThere's no way you wasted it.
This is the year of learning.
This is the year of golpes.
You're going to go through shitand you got to learn from it.
I want to start there before westart giving out advice because
these young men are not farbehind.

(06:29):
They just hit rock bottom.
They went through a breakup.
They got fired.
Their mom kicked them out oftheir apartment because they
were staying there too long.
Okay, cool.
It happens.
Rich has definitely been throughit and I know he's going to
share some stories.
I've most definitely beenthrough it.
I have some really embarrassingstories I'm going to share on
today's episode, which I had totry to to figure out how to take
people's name out.
But I have some reallyembarrassing stories from my 20s

(06:51):
that Rich at 39, man, kicking40s door down.
I laugh thinking about how Ialmost drowned.
But when you're drowning, thatshit ain't funny.
Nothing is worth laughing.

SPEAKER_00 (07:04):
Yeah.
Man, I think about the picture Ipulled up that was a 25-year-old
Rich with a one-year-old child.
And I said this off air, but itreally started to make me think
like, man, what type of thingswas I into, right?
Like, where was my headspace at20-something years old in my

(07:25):
mid-20s already being a father?
And, you know, I had this notionthat if I just met my partner in
my early 20s, that that wasgoing to be the beginnings of a
foundation that I can thereforeuse to, you know, navigate life.
So it's like, oh, I alreadyfound my person.

(07:45):
This is one less thing I have toworry about.
Me and her are going to go tocollege.
We're going to be successful.
We're- Hustling backwards.
Yeah.
We're going to make six figures,et cetera, et cetera.
So long story short, I had afive-year relationship with a
woman that didn't work out.
So my subsequent relationshipafter that was with a girl who I

(08:06):
knew for a long time.
We went to high school together.
We started dating.
We didn't plan for it, but shegot pregnant and the
relationship early on justdidn't work out.
So by default, my child wasalready at a disadvantage,
right?
Like he's already growing up orbeing born into like a broken
home, which is devastating me,right?

(08:26):
So I'm in my early 20s.
I'm having a child and I'mtrying to understand, you know,
where I went wrong, trying toprocess things.
Where did I go wrong?
Why am I bringing a child intothis world?
I think I had maybe$200 in mybank account.
It's like I'm mentally trying tofigure out how am I going to pay
for this newborn baby that I'mabout to have.

(08:50):
And it was a very stressful timefor me.
You know what I mean?
I think hindsight is 20-20,right?
Now I'm 37 and I'm able toreflect on that moment.
And I think to myself, man, Ireally made it about finding my
person and being in arelationship and wanting to
build a foundation.
I really thought that I neededsomeone by my side in order for

(09:13):
me to quote unquote start life.

SPEAKER_01 (09:15):
Where did that come from, Rich?
Because I feel like in the threestories that really kicked off
this episode in our community,two of them, ironically enough,
came after a breakup.
Instantly when they broke upwith their partner that they
were together with from highschool, the minute they went
through a breakup, they had thatrealization.
And there's this codependency.

(09:35):
I think that's...
Where did that come from foryou?

SPEAKER_00 (09:37):
I think it came from growing up without a father.

SPEAKER_01 (09:41):
Wow.

SPEAKER_00 (09:41):
Right?
So looking at my own family...

SPEAKER_01 (09:44):
You don't want to repeat in your...
You convinced yourself.
Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (09:47):
Right.
I saw a single mother raisethree boys by herself.
The story I told myself was,that's not going to be me.
I'm going to find my person.
I'm going to have a child.
And we're just going to have thehouse with the white picket
fence with the two kids and thedogs and, you know, live the

(10:08):
American dream.
That's how naive I thought.
You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_01 (10:13):
Looking back now, when you say that, what is your
mind right now?
I

SPEAKER_00 (10:16):
mean, listen, I think we all want to pursue
that.
So I don't think I was wrong inwanting it.
But to think that that shouldhave been the priority in my
early 20s, I think that's wherethe mistake was.
And for me, the flip side ofthat, now that I reflect on it
in my late 30s is, man, I shouldhave really doubled down on

(10:39):
working on me, right?
Working on me, educating myself,going to college, getting a
degree.
getting a job, getting money,and the relationship, the woman,
the child, the house, all thosethings will come in time.
But if I had to do it all overagain, that's sort of the switch

(11:01):
that I would have made in myearly 20s.
By the way, that's not to saythat I don't love my child.
I love my child.
My child, having a child at 24years old accelerated my
maturity.
and my growth tenfold.
I can never not attest mymaturity in life and my strive

(11:23):
for more if it wasn't for havinga child so early on.
So I don't regret anything aboutmy past.
But if you're someone out therewho is 23, 24 and you're feeling
stuck and you're feeling like,man, I feel like I don't have it
all figured out yet.
Like what is life?
What is my purpose?

(11:43):
What am I supposed to be doing?
I I promise you prioritizing arelationship or someone else is
probably not the answer.
You should be focusing onyourself.

SPEAKER_01 (11:55):
I love that.
I want to set the table for ourlisteners.
We are going to get intoactionable advice.
If you are in your 30s, and youfeel like you're wasting your
20s.
If you're in your late 20s, mid20s, we got you covered.
Trust me, this episode, we'regonna cover everything.
And this time, what we're gonnado a little bit different than
we've done on past episodes isRich and I are gonna go back and

(12:18):
forth on a, if we had a youngman in front of us that was
telling us, I'm in my late 20s,I wasted my 20s, they need big
bro advice from Rich and Justinon how to get their life back
together but in the next 30days.
I love this exercise because Ifeel like we tend to talk about

(12:42):
long-term goals, the end of themarathon, and there's a lot of
stuff that goes into the thingsyou have to do before you even
get to the race, which ischanging your life.
And I want to get into thatactionable, zero dollars in the
bank account, negative dollarsin your bank account,
overdrafted, or PNC bank accountstories that me and Rich could

(13:07):
tell you from, operating from adeficit, having too many loans.
I'm talking about real life shitthat we've been through, Rich.
I want to give our listeners afour-week game plan on how to
turn shit around and what arethe most efficient and most
actionable things you could dotoday versus giving them these
crazy hypotheticals where theyhave nothing.

(13:29):
So I want to meet our communitywhere they're at.
Four-week game plan.
30-day game plan on how to turnthis ship around, because we
believe you didn't waste your20s, even if you're not in your
20s no more.
So that's just me setting thetable.
Rich, I do want to say somethingabout the story you just said,
and we'll go through what theepisode is.
Jay-Z has a great line, I forgetthe song, where he says, to be

(13:52):
Jay-Z now, you had to be Jay-Zthen.
And that makes me think ofanother common phrase that I
hear a lot.
If you change one thing, youchange everything.
So the level of clarity you haveat 37 when you talk about you in
that picture with a one-year-oldJensen, your newborn baby, and
it's that clarity you have now.
But in order to be rich now, youhad to be rich then.

(14:15):
I don't know how that phraseresonates with you, but I feel
like that's what you were tryingto say.
You have to go through all thesethings to get the level of
clarity you have now, to be in aposition to give advice.

SPEAKER_00 (14:24):
Yeah, for sure.
And listen, I'm not saying thateven if you decide to work on
yourself, that it's going to bean easy path to not feeling
stuck.
You could very much double downon working on yourself and still
be going down the wrong path.
What I'm saying is the thingsthat I've been through have
shaped who I am.
And I probably wouldn't be whereI'm at today if I didn't go

(14:49):
through those trials andtribulations, those failures,
those early moments in life inmy early 20s that really made me
mature and accelerate my growth.
So yeah, bro, hindsight is 20-20for sure.

SPEAKER_01 (15:02):
Rich, I do want to kick it off.
off with the four-week gameplan.
The hypothetical situation hereis we have a young man in front
of us.
He's in his late 20s.
He hit rock bottom.
He's down bad.
He's telling us, I lost mygirlfriend.
I lost my job.
I'm on social media all day.

(15:22):
I see my friends takingvacations.
I see my friends living asuccessful life.
People I went to high schoolwith, people I went to middle
school with, they're havingkids.
They bought their I know that'sa big one for our generation.
A lot of young men can't evenafford houses.
People are taking vacations.
Can you imagine where this youngman is at right now and why he

(15:44):
feels like he wasted his

SPEAKER_00 (15:45):
20s?
and you see your friends or evenfamily members that are close in

(16:08):
proximity of age to you, and itjust feels like they have it
together and they are moresuccessful than you, I think
that's where the hurt comes.
Because you start toself-reflect and think, man,
what is it about me that feelslike I'm failing at this thing
we call life?
Look at John.

(16:29):
So, I mean, look at someone.

SPEAKER_01 (16:31):
And it's crazy because it's your peers, right?
These are people who want tohigh school.
So it's easy to measure yourselfagainst people that you came up
with.

SPEAKER_00 (16:38):
Yeah, exactly.
Bro, this dude is starting atground zero.
It sucks when you feel likeeverything is not going your way
because now you feel stuck.
Now you don't see a way out.
And, you know, there's a lot ofdifferent, we're going to talk
about this.
There's a lot of different waysfor this individual to get out

(17:00):
of where they feel like they'recurrently stuck in.
The problem is, There's morethan one way to skin a cat,
right?
How do you tackle this problemof feeling stuck, feeling like
everyone around you has it allfigured out but you?
That's what we're going to getinto.

SPEAKER_01 (17:15):
Our guy right now is stuck, and he hit play on this
podcast.
Off top, Rich, we're going to doa four-week, 30-day game plan to
get them in motion, get them outof this rut.
And I want to kick it off, andwe'll do it like a draft.
I'll go first, you'll go second.

SPEAKER_00 (17:34):
Yeah.
Yeah, let's do it.
The

SPEAKER_01 (17:34):
one thing I want to say is forget about week one.
I'm going to start at week zero.
Week zero is what you got goingon in your mind.
I think that shit is crucial.
There's three things I want totouch on and I'm interested to
hear your feedback and then youcan go next, Rich.

SPEAKER_00 (17:49):
Cool.

SPEAKER_01 (17:50):
One is you have to relieve yourself of the victim
mentality.
Even if you are, trust me, Iknow reality is crazy and people
come from fucked up situations.
Rich and I know that very wellbecause we didn't come from the
best circumstances.

(18:10):
But one, you have to get rid ofthat victim mentality.
You have to free yourself ofthat because I feel like you
can't move forward if you alwayssee yourself as a victim and you
tell yourself that story.

SPEAKER_00 (18:19):
Yeah, 100% agree.
That's a great starting point.
Honestly, it's not a greatstarting point.
It should be the only startingpoint.

SPEAKER_01 (18:27):
Now, along with the victim mentality, I want to
compound my number one with thisis going to sound woo-woo,
magical, self-belief,motivation.
I promise you, Rich and I enjoya good motivational video, but
we take action.
And I want to put these twothings together.
You have to believe thatwhatever it is that you see for

(18:48):
yourself is actually possible.
Now, I'm going to pair that withaction because that can be a
very empty-ass suggestion.
If I just tell you, all right, Ihave negative balance in my bank
account.
My girl left me.
I lost my job.
I'm in my mom's house.
And I'm in my fucking 20s.
What you mean I got to believe?
Easy, easy killer.

(19:09):
I'm saying you have to believebecause when you remove the
victim mentality, there has tobe something in there that you
see beyond what you see in themirror at that moment.
So belief is so important thatyou can actually get out of this
situation.
I think belief with some actionis huge in week zero.
Again, this is week zero, notweek one, because you don't need

(19:31):
money.
You don't have to do anything.
It really is a mindset.
And I think those three thingsare so important for me, Rich.
I was writing down all thesethings they could do.
They could get a job.
They could text their friends,go out with their friends, get a
haircut.
I'm like, nah, bro.
It really starts with a mindset.

SPEAKER_00 (19:46):
Yeah.
And not to say that those thingsare not important because
honestly, bro, getting somemoney and having a job is going
to set the foundation for everyother improvement.
So my sort of precursor to Weekone.

SPEAKER_01 (20:04):
We just started week zero.
You got week one.
So you're saying get some moneyin your pocket so you start
feeling good.
So you're saying Justin's givingout weird advice.
Fuck believe.
Get some money in your pocket.
Then you'll start believing.

SPEAKER_00 (20:17):
I got two for week one.
Okay.
These are crucial.
One is going to summarize yourweek zero.
You have to try to tackle oneproblem at a time.
You got no job.
You got no girl.
You feel overweight.
You have all these issues.
You have to pick one to tackle.
You're not going to solve themall in the next four weeks,

(20:39):
eight weeks or whatever, right?
That's a big problem, right?
Because when you getoverwhelmed.
You can't find solutions ifyou're overwhelmed, right?
And then you're trying to juggletoo much.
You already feel stuck.
So you shouldn't be trying tojuggle a lot.
So week one, my advice is find ajob.
Get some money in your pocket.

(21:00):
That is going to set thefoundation.
for every other improvement thatyou have to make.
Well, what do I mean?
How does me having a job andgetting money create the
foundation?
Now you can pay for shit, right?
You can pay for a gymmembership.
You can pay for a haircut that'sgoing to make you feel good.

(21:21):
You can buy yourself someclothes.
You can take a girl out on adate.
You can do all these things thatcan get you out of this rut, but
it really starts with you havingsome money.
That's my week one.

SPEAKER_01 (21:34):
No, I love that one.
And I'm going to leave the moneyportion of this four-week game
plan to you because if there'sanyone I know that gets active
with the side hustle game, a lotof people don't know this about
you, Rich.
Your side hustle game was insanewhen we were younger.
You were always about passiveincome, side income.

(21:55):
Can you please share with ourlisteners a lot of the eBay
shit?
There was a lot of things youdid when we were younger that a
lot of people in our age group,especially Yeah, I mean,

SPEAKER_00 (22:08):
listen, back in the day, we were all making minimum
wage, working two, three parttimes, and it just wasn't
enough.
And I kind of always justfigured out ways to make some
side income through like retailarbitrage.
So I would just buy shit at adiscount, whether Marshalls, TJ
Maxx, or even like a thriftstore.
And I had a keen sense forfinding things that I feel like

(22:33):
would go more on the sideincome.
online or just not easilyaccessible to someone who's not
from the East Coast.
Through a lot of research, a lotof dedication, I was able to
make a lot of side income tosupplement the income that I was
already making.
I can't stress this enough, bro.

(22:55):
Having money definitelyalleviates a lot of the stress
that you can be putting onyourself when you don't have it.
Because like I said, it sets thefoundation to solve a lot of
other problems.

SPEAKER_01 (23:08):
Well, Rich, at that time, that was an action by
necessity, right?
Like you weren't looking to getrich, flipping shit on eBay,
making$10 to$20 per transaction.
I don't even know how much youmake after all the fees and the
shipping and packaging, but thatcame from necessity because you
had to solve your problem.

(23:29):
And I think that's important forsomeone like you said, that
what's the fastest way to eat asteak?
one bite at a time.
There's no way that you can justeat a whole steak in one sitting
with one bite.
And I don't know, you don't evennotice this sometimes when you
speak, because I feel likeyou're such a fucking automated
beast.

(23:50):
You are a good on process.
We know that about you.
And I think our community isgoing to learn that about you.
Rich has always been the processpart of our business.
Justin is the dreamer, thevisionary.
I could dream up anything, butRich is rooted in reality.
And I want to mention thatthat's something you've always
But I don't know anyone thatwould have done that at that

(24:12):
time.
And I just want to make it clearthat came from necessity.
You were just trying to figureout from point A to point B, not
from point A

SPEAKER_00 (24:21):
to point Z.
going to be enough.
Whatever I was making at thetime wasn't going to be enough.
I was a full-time student.
I was working full-time, and Ihad this new baby on the way.

(24:44):
It just wasn't going to beenough, and I had to figure out
a way to supplement my incomeand make sure that when my child
did arrive, that there was goingto be enough bread for me to
share with my child.
Like you said, bro, it came outof necessity, not so much
luxury.
I wasn't going out buyingsneakers with this shit.
I was stacking bread for mynewborn child.

SPEAKER_01 (25:07):
I think that brings up another point this is
probably more actionable advicebut it wouldn't make sense if I
mentioned it later in the showso I'm going to mention it now
there's a phrase that I love andit's you can't fake urgency
simple analogy is Have you everwatched sports or an MMA fight?

(25:27):
If a fighter is down four roundsto zero and he's going into the
fifth round, he knows that.
And he's going to go in therelike an animal with his back
against the wall.
You can't fake urgency.
Game seven of any basketballgame you've ever watched and
you've seen some superhumanathletes, whether it be LeBron,
Shea Gildress Alexander, JalenBrunson, they do things that

(25:51):
they didn't even know they werecapable of because they know
it's elimination time.
I don't want to make everythinga sports metaphor, but I just
want to make it clear to anybodywho does watch sports.
That urgency, you can't fake it.
Rich having a kid and not havingenough money to fill the gap
between how much money he makeswith a side job created all this

(26:13):
cyclone of thoughts and pain andgoogling shit and being on
Reddit back then.
Enough for you to go and do someobscure next, bro, I don't know
anybody that did that.
I know you didn't get that.
I know you didn't get that fromanybody in your social circle.
You just thought to yourself,how do I solve this problem?
And I want to make this pointclear as a word of advice.

(26:35):
Sometimes you got to let thatpain sit in a little bit.
Sometimes you got to listen tothat pain.
Pain is not only something thatlives in your mind rent free,
but it's also a fortune teller.
If you really sit down andlisten to your pain, you can
think to yourself, what is itthat's causing this pain?

(26:56):
And how do I solve it?
And in that moment of thinking,how do I solve it?
Don't just sit there.
That's when you take action.
So I want to be clear with ourcommunity.
We feel you.
I know what that pain feelslike.
But pain is a fortune teller.
You can see your future throughthat pain if you really listen
to it.
Now, don't sit in the pain.
Take action, obviously.
But you know what I mean?

(27:18):
Let that desperation be yourguide.
That's something that is sonuanced, Rich.
I don't know how to tie it intoa pretty bowl, but I feel like
that shit is crucial.
And whenever we talk about ourstories when we were younger, I
feel like that's That'ssomething that we glaze over
because we get to the end of thestory when the referee's holding
our hand up and we have thechampionship belt and we

(27:39):
miraculously knocked out the guywho was beating us for four
rounds and we won the fight.
But nobody talks about yousitting in that corner and being
like, damn, my face is bloody,I'm getting my ass whooped by
life, and it's about to be thefifth round, so I know I'm going
to lose.
I got to do whatever to stay inthis fight.
Fuck winning the fight, juststaying in the fight.

(28:00):
And I think that's the way Whenyou're in your late 20s or early
30s and you feel like when youlook back, you squandered it.
I got news for you, bro.
You didn't waste it because it'salready gone.
You're living right now in thismoment right now.
So you can sit and commiserateabout the past and listen to
this show feeling bad aboutyourself.

(28:21):
This is the only episode I wouldrecommend you shut the fucking
podcast off.
You stop the YouTube video rightnow and you just get to it.
You get to a hit pause.
Come back.
I'm willing to.
to forego you never listening toanother episode of our podcast
just so you can take care ofthis problem because it's so
urgent.
When that urgency shows, takeaction, bro.

(28:41):
Tangent, but I felt like that'simportant because those are the
little creases I want to beknown for, Rich.
I want failures to talk aboutthese non-pretty parts of the
process.

SPEAKER_00 (28:50):
Yeah, for sure.
And I'll put a bow on it.
It's the reality check, bro.
Everything that you've beendoing up to this point is
clearly not working.
If you have no job, no girl,you're not happy with the way
you look physically, and youfeel like you're in pain, bro,
you know what I mean?
like you need a reality check.

(29:12):
Whatever you've been doing thelast two, three years, six
months, 12 months is notworking.
You need drastic change.
You need action.
The bow that ties all thistogether is you need a reality
check.
Dust yourself off and start tomove, start to get some motion

(29:32):
and start to solve theseproblems one at a time.
I hate the feeling of like, yousaid this earlier, like, oh man,
the victim mentality, likefeeling bad for yourself.
It's like, bro, you have a lotof things that are not going
right for you, that are notgoing your way.
Bro,

SPEAKER_01 (29:50):
let's not sugarcoat this shit.
Me and you are not tolerant.
That's why we get along, becausewe don't tolerate it.
And I don't know if that'shelpful for this community,
because they're very vulnerable,but

SPEAKER_00 (30:00):
I don't have space in my body.
That's cool.
That's cool.
This segment is called thereality check.
Shit is not working out for you,my bro.
You have to change something.

SPEAKER_01 (30:11):
Because at this moment, this is when the young
man goes to either a substance,goes to their mother or their
grandmother to get that warmshoulder to lean on and tell
them everything's going to beall right.
And Uncle Rich is just tellingyou, nah, bro, this is not what
you need right now.
You need reality to whip yourass and tell you that everything

(30:34):
you've done, if everythingyou've done to this moment got
you here, then obviously,everything you're doing is not
working.

SPEAKER_00 (30:41):
Yeah, exactly.
And I feel like we definitelyneed to give them the sort of
four to eight week resetframework because we're not just
going to sit here and shit onyou and tell you that you need
to get up and do something andnot tell you what to do.
This is

SPEAKER_01 (30:56):
crucial.
This is the mindset.
You got to get out of themindset.
All right, Rich, I want to getin some reasonable advice.
This is my week one, week twoadvice.
Cool.
I think two things are importantfor this person.
One is everything in life is aseason.
That's why we have seasons.
If you look at plants, they havetheir seasons.

(31:16):
Sometimes they're growing,sometimes they're blossoming,
sometimes they're losing leaves.
Everything is cyclical,including humans, most
importantly humans.
I think in your seasons, youhave to be okay with letting
certain groups of people andletting certain things fall to
the wayside and moving forward.

(31:37):
I say that because I trulybelieve believe you are what you
consume and you become who youput yourself around.
Two parts.
One, you just become the peoplethat you're always around.
So whatever habits they have arethe habits you have.
And some weird shit happens whenyou finish college or you finish
high school is that you havemore of a fun, playful, less

(31:59):
urgent group of friends and thatcarries you into your 20s.
And sometimes when your life isautomated in a more fun,
playful, non-consequentiallifestyle.
You live with your mom.
You're still with yourgirlfriend from high school and
college.
You tend to carry a lot of thosebad habits or those habits that
were cooling your 20s into yourlate 20s.

(32:19):
And I can relate to that.
I took advantage of mygirlfriend from college because
I didn't improve myself fromcollege till I got to my late
30s.
I didn't value my health.
I gained a lot of weight fromcollege into my mid 30s.
I didn't value learning skills.
I surrounded myself with a lotof people that I was a little

(32:40):
smarter than, I was a littleahead of, and that made me feel
good, but I wasn't challengingmyself by bringing myself around
people that can motivate me.
And the last thing I'll sayabout this part of week one,
life is seasons or life hasseasons.
Be okay with getting rid of oldfriends and old habits and old

(33:02):
things you used to do andgetting new things in your life
is you have to understand thatif you have a goal that is set
for the future, you have tostart building new habits for
that goal of the future.
That comes with getting rid ofpeople in your life that only
see you as your old self.
That includes family too.
I know that's a hot button issuein our community.

(33:23):
A lot of people don't like tobring up their mom and dad, but
a lot of that old identity comesfrom how these people see you
and how you see yourself becauseof how you interact with these
people.
Rich, I don't know if you haveanything to add to that one, but
I do like the idea of beingcareful with the people you
surround yourself with and thetype of content and the stuff

(33:45):
that you consume on the dailybecause I think you slowly
become what you consume and whoyou surround yourself with.

SPEAKER_00 (33:51):
Yeah, I think that's a great point.
I think we should move thegetting money a little bit up to
maybe week three, week fourbecause we're really unpacking
this mindset.

SPEAKER_01 (34:02):
I love it, yeah.
I mean, think about it.
We only have 30 days.
We can come back with a part twoof this episode and say, okay,
from week five to week 12,here's what you should be doing.
But I feel like this isessential.
You can't skip these

SPEAKER_00 (34:14):
things.
You can't because now that I'mhearing you kind of break things
down, I'm like, damn, you cannotnot fix your environment around
you and just go straight togetting a job and getting money.
And then because yourenvironment around you is not
fixed, now you got people askingyou for money.
Now you got, you know what Imean?
So like- I forgot about that.

(34:35):
No, no, listen, bro.
What you're saying is extremelyessential.
No, I forgot about

SPEAKER_01 (34:38):
That

SPEAKER_00 (34:39):
I forgot about.

(35:08):
social circle that you realizeweren't your people, cut them
off too.
Start to mobilize yourself tofind a new social circle.
Because I promise you, once youstart to fix everything around
you, then again, job part andcontinuing to move forward is
going to be that much easier.
You don't want to accelerate togetting the job and now you got

(35:31):
people asking you for money,wanting to borrow money.
Yo, can you spot me?
Or having you pay for shit orjust, you know what I mean?
like not being a good part ofyour tribe.
So I love that advice, bro.

SPEAKER_01 (35:44):
I'm doing prayer hands emoji.
Rich really summarized thissection very well.
And I could tell it came from areal place because you kind of
blacked out.
But clear the noise isincredible.
I love that.

SPEAKER_00 (35:55):
Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_01 (35:56):
Where did it come from?
Just want to, you don't have toget too personal.
I just want to know why'd youzoom in so quick on that one?

SPEAKER_00 (36:03):
Bro, because I really thought of what the
advice that we're sharing andwe're basically sharing like a
reset framework.
We've already established thatall this shit that you've been
doing is not working.
So you need to reset.
And before you find a job andget you some money and start to
go out on dates and really goingin the right direction, like you

(36:27):
said, bro, you have to fixwhat's going on in your brain,
what's going on in your mind,how you're feeling.
What are the people that areinfluencing you?
What are the people that arepositively influencing you or
negatively influencing you?
And you got to clear the noisebecause you probably have things
around you that are not ideal.

SPEAKER_01 (36:44):
Yeah, imagine yourself like a slingshot or
like a bow and arrow.
The week five until you have$300,000 in your bank account
and the world is yours, theslingshot is, or the bow and
arrow rather, is you pullingthat bow all the way back in

(37:07):
order to give it the rightmomentum to move forward.
And in order for you to properlyget as much power out of the
tool that is you, you're goingto have to reset and really give
yourself an opportunity to say,okay, this is now a life
mission.
Because the topic of the show isnot like, yo, how do I make

(37:27):
$10,000 in a month?
No, no, no, no, we're not doingthat.
What we're saying is youconvinced yourself to hit play
on this episode because youidentified with the idea that
you wasted your 20s.
If you truly believe that inyour heart and in your gut and
you're down bad, you need areset.
You need to give yourself anopportunity to give yourself

(37:47):
some positive momentum bypulling that bow all the way
back so you can move forward andreally change your life.
Because in your mind, you'remaking up for lost time.
So I think that right there,Rich, great summary of it, clear
the noise.
And that comes with socialcircle, blocking anybody in your
life, including your ex who isnot helping you.

(38:08):
you are what you consume.
I think social media is a bigthing for this generation.
And I know we sound old as fuckby saying that generally, but if
you really think about it, youralgorithm is curated for you to
see things that you aspire orwant to see.
So you're just going to seebeautiful women, musicians or
people in your life that areliving their best lives,
celebrities living their bestlife, people getting rich quick,

(38:29):
So I know it sounds old, butyou're talking about somebody
that does marketing for a livingand I'm an algorithm
manipulator.
It's what I do.
It's my job to keep your eyesglued to that phone so you can
keep believing that if I watchthis content and I see this
content, I'm going to becomethis content.
But that's not how a six packworks.
If you want abs, you have to cutcalories and run and do shit

(38:53):
with your body.
You can't just look at a phoneand assume you're going to get
abs.
That's not how it works withmoney.
That's not how it works withfitness.
And that's damn sure not how itworks when you're down bad and
you're wasting your 20s.
So I love that framing, Rich.
One thing I want to add to whatyou said, and it made me think
about the pictures that wepulled up earlier, being back

(39:13):
home.
There's this phrase, and thiscame from talking to my nephew a
few weeks ago.
He was telling me how his lifehas changed a lot since he
started getting a little bit ofmotion in the music business.
We're talking about Damien.
And he told me, you know, it'shard to keep doing what I'm
doing and moving forward in mycareer with the music shit

(39:33):
because I'm starting to get somemotion.
But a lot of my boys held medown back in the day and my girl
held me down and I'm conflicted.
I don't know how to deal withit.
And I said something to himwhich translates to this
episode.
Think about the language,Damien.
She held you down.
He held you down.
I think a lot of friendships andrelationships that come from

(39:55):
fucked up situations are peoplethat are trying to figure it out
together, but a lot of themdon't have the answers.
And it's crazy when you unpackthe language of held me down and
we see it as a positive phrase,which I think is kind of poetic.
It's not about being aroundpeople that hold you down.
And I'm not a fucking idiot.
I know what hold you down means.

(40:16):
I'm saying, try and create analgorithm or a Finsta account, a
burner, a social media accountthat has a lot of positive
information in it.
A lot of self-help, a lot ofgood affirmation Surround
yourself with people in yourfamily who see the potential in
you, people that want more foryou.
So it's going to sound corny,but the phrasing of held me down

(40:40):
is a trap door.
Be with people that help yougrow.
Surround yourself with peoplethat want you to grow or
surround yourself with peoplethat you aspire to be or become
because it's going to make youfeel like you have so much more
to do to get to where they'reat.
And that's a major cheat code inmy life, Rich.
I've always had mentors.
I've always had muses I'vealways, always found people,

(41:01):
even if they were younger thanme, that were further ahead than
me, that gave me this likefrustration, but also excitement
to try to catch them.
And I think that was better thanbeing around people that quote
unquote held me down.

SPEAKER_00 (41:13):
Yeah, man.
Listen, if you think of thisreset framework we're giving you
guys as us building a housetogether, this clear your noise
is like us telling you to removethe soil and start laying out
the cinder blocks or theconcrete slabs.
Yeah, you had a shittyfoundation.
Yeah, yeah.
This is the foundation.
We're removing the soil andwe're laying down a concrete

(41:36):
slab.
Man, but yeah, you're absolutelyright, bro.
Clear the noise.
Fix the circle around you.
Fix your feed.
Fix the content you'reconsuming.
And ultimately, that's going tofix your mindset going into week
two, which I think is I'm up forweek two.
I would say start buildingmotion, right?

(41:56):
Newton's law, an object inmotion stays in motion.
So just like the housereference, now we're going to
start to set up the, the woodframing of the house, right?
We got the concrete slab down.
Now we're going to start settingup all four corners, right?
Wood or however the hell youbuild the house.
But

SPEAKER_01 (42:17):
I'm so, I'm so wealthy.
I don't even build houses.
I hire people to

SPEAKER_00 (42:23):
do that.
Nah, nah, but bros,

SPEAKER_01 (42:25):
you're getting the materials you need in order to
start building this home.
But week one was about buildingfoundation.
Week zero is about being in theright mind state to even build
foundation.
But go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 (42:39):
Yes.
And week two is just buildingmotion.
What does that look like?
Get a skill, look into a hobby,maybe join the gym.
But we probably won't tell youto go to the gym if you haven't
gotten a job and don't havemoney to pay for a membership.
But hey, listen, going to a job,going out for a run at the park,

(42:59):
is free, right?
So just start moving and startmobilizing yourself into a
routine, right?
Being in motion is going todistract you from all the things
that you feel like have to befixed and you're just going to
naturally start to feel betterabout yourself.
Okay, I'm building a routine.
Okay, I'm taking this coursethat's going to give me a skill

(43:22):
and that's a new skill I can addto my toolbox and this skill
could potentially propel me toget a Or it's just something I
can add on my resume to lookmore attractive.
Getting a hobby, right?
Going to play basketball likethat.
That's free.
You can go to grab a basketball,go to the park and pick up a
hobby.
So yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (43:43):
Yo, are you getting flashbacks?
Cause I know I am.

SPEAKER_00 (43:45):
Yes.

SPEAKER_01 (43:46):
When I was in this mode, it's like, bro, I don't
have$50 to pop out to something.
So I got to just play pickupbasketball, get a dollar slice
and just get through today untilI get to that next page.
Bro,

SPEAKER_00 (44:00):
listen, I always say that being in your 30s is like
being in your 20s, but withmoney, right?
So like, we got money right now.
So it's hard for us to rememberhow down bad we were in our 20s,
where we didn't have two nickelsto rub against each other.
Like, I remember being 23 andhaving to ask my mom for like

(44:21):
$20.
And that was like one of themost shameful moments in my
life.
Because I'm like, man, that's abarber.
Bro, 23 asking for$20.
I'm like, nah, bro, somethinggot to change.
I either got to be better withmoney.
I got to get another sidehustle.
I got to get another part-timejob.
But like asking for your mom for$20 at 23 years old is
unacceptable.

SPEAKER_01 (44:40):
Damn.
Honestly, I think the reason whyI love this episode, it was
like, I've never felt like apoet or a writer.
And so I looked at this subjectand try to help this young man
solve his problem.
And I promise you, Rich, Icouldn't stop typing because I
know this character so well.
This was you.
Because I am him.

(45:01):
And when you just said that,man, I got emotional in a good
way when I thought about whatyou just said about asking your
mom for money.
I remember one of my unclesasking my mom for a lot of money
and he was not in the best mood.
I mean, I'm going to just say hewas a fiend.
He was in and out of recovery.

(45:23):
He was a fiend.
And he played my mom so crazyfor like$500,$600.
And I could tell howdisappointed she was because it
was her brother.
And I remember vividly, bro,thinking to myself like, damn, I
need$30 to get to work today.
And I have no business askingthis woman who's letting me stay

(45:45):
with her, who just got finessedout of$500.
And I don't know when I madethis But I remember thinking at
the time, like, man, no, thisshit is crazy.
I'm in my twenties.
I don't have money.
I'm about to ask my mom formoney and she barely got money.
I'm just a burden on my family.
That's what I was saying before,bro.

(46:06):
I'm a prideful motherfucker.
Like if you want to see, I'mprideful and competitive, bro.
Like if you want to see Justinat peak apex predator, just put
me in a corner, bro.
Put me in a corner and take allthe money on my pocket.
And I get in a different mode,bro.
And I get kind of of excitedwhen i get in that mode because
i start that's why i said thatpain man just get familiar with

(46:26):
that pain don't run away from itlook that motherfucker in the
eyes give it a name you know imean let that pain guide you
because when you follow it it'sgoing to lead you to a different
person you don't even know whoyou are and i remember rich i
promised myself bro i'm notgoing to be a burden to my
mother i'm going to figure thisshit out and i think till this

(46:46):
day bro i'm 39 and i wasprobably like 23 22 when that
happened i'd never asked my onfor money, bro.
Never, never, never.
I could be down bad.
I made that pact to myself.
I'm not going to ask anybody inmy family for money, but guess
what?
You said it earlier.
There will come a point where Iwon't be giving out money
either.
Everybody's going to get oneloan, but this shit's going to

(47:09):
stop because if I was able to doit, y'all could do it too.
And I think that interdependencyis what you're talking about,
Rich.
But I like the Newton, an objectin motion stays in motion.
I like this as a week twoframework.
Stay in motion, get some motion.
Motion, there's a lot of thingsunder that category.
It's funny you brought up theNewton, because I wrote in my
notes, the hood Newton.

(47:30):
I wrote the hood Newton.
And it comes from, obviously, Iwork in music.
So a lot of the lingo and theshit that I hear at work all day
is from a lot of the youngerstaff.
And they'd be like, ah, it'squiet for that artist.
He ain't got no motion.
Bro, we can't sign that dude.
He got no motion.
So I do the hood.
I created something called thehood Newton.

(47:50):
And I put it in my notes.
And I always say it at work.
I always say it to my artistmanagers and my artists.
It's like, bro, how you got nomotion and want to get motion?
An object with no motion stayswith no motion.
And it's more of a play on thephrasing that's-

SPEAKER_00 (48:05):
The Newton Law.

SPEAKER_01 (48:06):
Yeah.
It's all a play on the NewtonLaw, but it's also a phrase that
I hear a lot, which is motion.
You ain't got no motion, whichmeans you don't have no women.
You got no virality.
You got no followers.
You got no motion.
So an object with no motionstays with no motion.
And I think that's more relevantto the person that's listening
to this because if you staystatic, you're going to be
static.

(48:26):
So you have to get up and dosomething.
And in order to tie a bow onthis point that Rich brought up,
there's a lot of shit you coulddo with$0 in your pocket.
Surround yourself around somegood people.
Get outside.
Get outdoors.
Get some sun on your skin.
Get sweaty.
Run.
Play basketball.
You'll start seeing that thosefucking toxins will start
leaving your body and your mindwill start spinning.

(48:47):
I always found when I ran, Rich,it helped me clear my mind and
it would help me think aboutmore positive things.
So I do pushups or playbasketball.
I don't know about you if thathad the same effect on

SPEAKER_00 (48:57):
you.
Yeah, I just took my son to thegym for the first time.
He's at the age where he canlike...

SPEAKER_01 (49:02):
Oh shit, why are we not talking about that?
Why are we not?
That's amazing.

SPEAKER_00 (49:06):
Yeah, but like the whole drive there, I'm sort of
letting him inside of my worldand my brain and I'm like,
listen, this drive that we'retaking to the gym, this is where
you start to visualize.
Yeah, get in that mode.
This is where you start tovisualize like, if any upset you
during the week, if you wereangry about anything, if you had
anxiety, if you had stress, thisplace where we're going to,

(49:29):
we're going to release all thattension that's built up.
But start to think about it nowwhile we're driving over there.
And I saw him nodding his head,like just kind of like consuming
that mindset.
It's funny because after theworkout, he was like, man, I
feel nauseous, but I feel good.
And I'm like, perfect.

SPEAKER_01 (49:48):
That's life, bro.
That's life.
Your sunset figured out life.

SPEAKER_00 (49:53):
In one gym session.

SPEAKER_01 (49:54):
Now think about it.
What he's saying is, Dad, thatwas difficult, but it felt good.
Yeah.
We talked about this on anearlier episode.
We don't know why strengthtraining, being in the gym,
developing your muscles, whenyou push yourself to the last
rep and you try to get at leasttwo more out, what is that

(50:17):
called?

SPEAKER_00 (50:18):
Yeah, it's like repping out.
Failure.

SPEAKER_01 (50:20):
You're training to Yep.
You're

SPEAKER_00 (50:23):
training to our

SPEAKER_01 (50:23):
show.
Why do you think they named itthat?
There was someone that said, oh,go to failure.
They didn't say go to what feelscomfortable, go to the moment
where you can re-rack it and youcan do 20 more.
It was like, no, you have topush your body until it fails.
Why that terminology?

(50:43):
Whoever thought of that figuredit out.
If you want to grow muscle,you're going to have to push it
to the point where it doesn'tfucking work at all.
anymore.
So I love that you...
Man, that's a beautiful moment,bro.
We should just...
I do want to pause on you takingyour son to the gym for the
first time.
That makes me happy.
Makes me happy.
Makes me smile.

SPEAKER_00 (51:02):
Yeah, yeah, man.
And he's all about it.
He's like, oh, what muscle partsare we doing tomorrow?
And I gave him a wholebreakdown.
But I'm excited that this issomething that we could do
together now.
And I could...
He's 14.
So I could introduce him to thegym so early on.
And...
bro, this is me breaking themold.

(51:23):
You know what I'm saying?
I never had anybody at 14 yearsold tell me, hey, little Rich,
come, let's go to the gym.
I'm going to show you how towork out.
I'm going to show you how to getinto a positive mental
headspace.
I'm going to show you how tode-stress.
I'm going to show you how torelease your anxiety.
And, bro, I wish I had thatgrowing up.
So, you know, fortunately, I'min a position where I could be

(51:45):
that for him.
And, yeah, it's going great,bro.
I love

SPEAKER_01 (51:48):
it.
All right.
So we got the motion segmentdown.
This is the part where I thoughtwhen I originally started
scripting out this show andwriting out some actionable
advice, this is where I thoughtthe show would start.
But to your point, Rich, you gotto lay foundation.
You got to be planting on goodsoil.
You got to get good materials tobuild this home that's going to

(52:09):
be around forever.
This is the part where I thinkwe can have a little bit of fun
with our guy.
He's on week three, going onweek four.
His mind is right.
He's fixing his friend group.
He's clearing out his feed.
all that advice we just gave.
This is important to me.
I wrote it down at thebarbershop yesterday.
Either buy a trimmer and ablade.

(52:30):
This is probably more of like ahood thing, like more of an
urban thing.
Because a lot of white boys bekilling it with just their hair
looking crazy.
But I feel like for us, nothingdoes justice for my inner
potential, especially when I wasbroke.
Like a good haircut, bro.
Like a good lineup.
Like a good shape.

(52:50):
And my hairline's looking decentand my beard is looking decent.
I feel like, what do they say?
I feel like a good person.
I feel like a productive memberof society.

SPEAKER_00 (52:59):
It's the confidence, bro, that comes when you look at
yourself in the mirror after alineup or a fresh cut and you
are happy and you got a littlegrin on you and you got a smile
at what you see.
That confidence boost iseverything you need to continue
that motion, bro.
Because that'll translateinto...

(53:20):
you being more social, youtalking to women, you speaking
eloquently during a jobinterview.
Boy, there's something aboutthat confidence, bro, when you
get that cut.
Ain't nobody could tell younothing.
Isn't it

SPEAKER_01 (53:36):
crazy?
I mean, there has to besomething scientific about
looking at yourself in themirror after a haircut and being
like, there he goes.
That's my boy right there.
That motherfucker better not runinto anybody that's above a six
because I'm snagged.
in your home.
That's what my mind be.
After

SPEAKER_00 (53:54):
I get a haircut, I'm dangerous, bro.
Listen, that's universal.
That doesn't matter what age youare, where you're from, what
your ethnicity is.
If you get a fresh cut and youlook at yourself in the mirror
and you get that confidence up,you're a dangerous man.

SPEAKER_01 (54:09):
So at a baseline level, if we're giving out a
four-week plan, we're up to weekthree.
Hypothetically, they don't havelint in their pockets and a
negative overdrawn Chaseaccount.
They got a little bit of money,not a lot, probably like a few
hundred on them, enough to goand get a haircut at a
barbershop.
And even if you can't go and geta haircut, because listen, bro,

(54:31):
price of haircuts is insane.
We got to have that conversationanother episode.
This shit is getting out ofcontrol, bro.
But I do want to say, even ifyou can't go and get a haircut,
line yourself up.
Learn how to cut your own hair.
Even if you fuck up a few times,it's all good.
You're in grind mode.
You're saving 50 to$80 a haircutin your own pocket.

(54:55):
Now, I wouldn't condone doingthis forever, but I think it's
essential for week three, weekfour, because you got to pop
out.
Let's say one of your friendsthat you shot a text to in week
one that you're trying to hangout with guys that's doing a
little bit better for themselvesso you could get rid of your old
friend group and get into yournew friend group.
They're going to be like, yeah,I got a little function going on
in my crib.
I'm going to have some friendsover.

(55:15):
You're more than welcome to pullup.
You want to be able to lineyourself up and pop out.
and feel good about yourself.
But Rich, I think you summarizedit well.
That confidence does translate.
It goes beyond what you maybelieve about yourself
negatively.
Just having a good outwardpersona will help you speak to
women and make friends and kindof get out of that little rut.

SPEAKER_00 (55:36):
Yeah, bro.
And listen, you have to get inthe right mindset and the right
confidence for you to go out anddo a job interview, right?
You're presenting yourself forthe first time to an employer.
And if you look all scruffy andyour beard looks crazy you know
and you look like a homelessperson like chances are bro that

(55:56):
they're gonna pick somebody elsewho maybe is a little bit more
clean cut who's just asqualified right so you got to
put your best foot forward andpresent yourself physically in a
way that could be appealing toan employer especially if you're
like customer facing or you knowor whatnot

SPEAKER_01 (56:12):
it's funny you said that because as a hiring manager
and someone that's in a positionthat has a team I could almost
tell I don't been fucked up somuch in my life.
I done been down bad so much.
I can tell a motherfucker that'sfucked up when I meet them.

SPEAKER_00 (56:25):
Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_01 (56:27):
Like, you can't put cologne and a button-up shirt on
down bad.

SPEAKER_00 (56:31):
For you, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (56:32):
Yeah, no, down bad is down bad.
I can feel it.
Like, at the end of theinterview, I'm like, yo, you
want me to sell you a fewhundred so you can get back
home?
Because you didn't get the job,but it looked like you needed
it.
I can tell.
I can tell a motherfucker who'sstruggling.
Yeah.
That's because I know it.
So, So you're saying thattranslates to so many other

(56:53):
things.

SPEAKER_00 (56:53):
Yeah, not so much like getting yourself in the
right social circle and goingout on a date, but even
something as serious as landinga job.
Because remember, all roads leadback to securing the bag.
You have to get some money inyour pocket.
But week zero, you're fixingyour mindset.
Week one, you're clearing thenoise.

(57:14):
Week two, you're buildingmomentum.
Week three, you're starting todo things again a haircut,
getting some clothes to build upyour confidence so that week
three, week four, you could landthat job.
I think all these things don'twork without one another.
You can't just go to week fourand expect to have some success.

SPEAKER_01 (57:37):
For sure.
You made me think of something,which is way more practical, but
I think it's perfect for thisphase that we're in right now.
I think you have to do an audit.
What's a more normal word foraudit?
You have to evaluate, reallylook into where you spend your
time, what you spend your timeon, and where you spend your
money, and what you spend yourmoney on.

(58:00):
There's an old Puerto Ricanphrase, which I don't want to
fuck up with my third gradeSpanish, but the essence of it
is where you put your time, yourtime will give you back.
Where you put your money, yourmoney will give you back.
Where you put your love, yourlove will give you back, and
where you put your energy, yourenergy will give you back.

(58:21):
And I say that because this is aloop.
I'm going to remove the lovepart because that shit is
irrelevant right now becausenobody loves you because you're
down bad and you're not aproductive member of society.
Your mom barely loves you, butyou owe her$300, so she's even
questioning that shit.
I think where you put your time,Rich, is so important.
And I actually didn't learn thisuntil my mid-30s.

(58:44):
The return you can get back ifyou spend your time wisely is
insane if you really think aboutit.
And I'm happy I learned it in mylate 30s because that shit was a
cheat code for me.
It stopped me from havingbullshit ass conversation with
people and trying to put playstogether that were never going
to come together or playingvideo games or watching too much
sports or my fantasy footballleague or bullshit ass gossip

(59:08):
group chats.
Done.
Once I started putting my timeinto shit that was getting me
crazy return, I started figuringout like a glitch in the
efficiency and maximizingproductivity matrix.
That might feel too highbrow,but I feel like a guy like that
needs to hear this because hemight be doing all 30 things we

(59:28):
told him to do, but he feelslike he doesn't have enough time
in a day, especially if you gota bullshit part-time job just to
make ends meet.
That right there is about eightto 10 hours of your day
commuting to work, being atwork.
You're not getting paid morethan what you're getting paid
per hour.
So have a good idea of what youdo with your time and have a
better idea of what you do withyour money.

SPEAKER_00 (59:48):
Yeah.
I love that and you know when ireflect back on you know week
zero to week four i think youknow rather than do like here's
what you're doing week five orsix or seven you should probably
rinse and repeat the first fourweeks and do that for the second
half week four five and sixbecause what you want to do is

(01:00:09):
you want to build the routineand you want to start to build
discipline if you could dosomething for consistently for
eight weeks chances are thatroutine can turn into to a
habit, whether that be going tothe gym or picking up a hobby or
landing that job and buildingthe workday cadence that it

(01:00:29):
needs.
You know what I'm saying?
It's a great point.
So I think your advice is great,but I think that's more week 10.
It's like now that you've donethis routine for over eight
weeks, now you got to do, I saidthis on an earlier episode, a
self snapshot of yourself,figure out, all right, I feel
like I've done everything rightover the last eight weeks.
What what am I missing?

(01:00:50):
How can I improve?
Where is my time going?
Where's my money going?

SPEAKER_01 (01:00:55):
I like to edit, I would say, just to remove what I
said earlier, because you'reright, that's probably further
down the road.
But what you should be askingyourself in week three is, why
am I doing this?
And how is this helping me getout of this fucked up situation
I'm in?
And I think that's good, Rich,because if you're just in a car
with your boy talking shit forthree hours, you have to ask

(01:01:15):
yourself when you get home at 2a.m., what was I just doing for
the last three hours?

SPEAKER_00 (01:01:18):
Or

SPEAKER_01 (01:01:19):
if the homie want to pop out and just get food or
something or go to QuickCheck orWhite Castle or Taco Bell.
It's cool to do that, but justbe mindful of all that time you
put into these people and thesethings.
It's not an indictment on them.
I know they're going to tellyou, bro, you changed.
It's fine.
It's fine.
Relax.

(01:01:39):
You're trying to get out of afucking deficit.
You're in a hole right now.
You have no business doinganything other than what's
relevant to you getting right.
You're right.
The audit, the a self-snapshotmaybe a little further down the
road, but I do want to challengeour listeners to really think
about everything they're doingevery day and evaluating it and
asking themselves, how has thishelped me get out of this hole?

(01:02:01):
If it's not helping you get outof the hole, put you in a better
mood, stop doing it becausethere's only 24 fucking hours in
a day you could only do with somuch.
So yeah, good at it.
I love that, but be mindful ofwhere you put your time.
Be mindful of where you'respending your money because you
only have a limited quantity andthat's what's got you fucked up
Yeah.
And

SPEAKER_00 (01:02:22):
I feel like, man, by, by week four, if, if you're
doing all the things that we'resharing here and you're
definitely making that mentalshift.
And I think you spoke about thisin an earlier episode where, um,
sometimes this is hot whenyou're down bad, it's hard to
see far out into the future orlike how life is going to be in
your thirties.

(01:02:42):
But I promise you this by weekzero through week four, if you
do everything we're telling youto do or should be doing.
all those micro wins are goingto compound.
And you're going to feel goodabout where you're headed.
And you're going to start toreally feel like, man, I'm
starting to have some success.
And success looks different foreveryone, but success has no

(01:03:04):
expiration.
So you shouldn't ever put a timelimit into how long it's going
to take for you to achievewhatever it is that you want to
achieve.

SPEAKER_01 (01:03:13):
Rich, I know we're wrapping up the episode here,
but there's something I have tosay.
Because just from reading allthe community I got to make this
point.
If you're down bad, if you havea negative withdrawn bank
account, or you got no funds inyour pocket, your girl broke up
with you, you're overweight,you're living with your mom,
listen to me.
You have no fucking businesspopping out, going on a

(01:03:37):
vacation, or doing anything thatyour group of friends are doing
that you have no financial ormental or time to give that shit
because it's just going to putyou in more of a loop.
The more you do shit that youhave no business doing, the more
you get caught into a loop ofwanting to keep up with it.

(01:03:57):
Keeping up with the Joneses.
Bro, this shit happened to me,Rich.
My girlfriend in college was mygirl when I was out of college.
And she did very well forherself because she was really
smart and got a great job out ofcollege.
Me, not so much.
Didn't have a job out ofcollege.
Was struggling to get into themusic business.

(01:04:18):
I had to do the most fun fuckingoddest jobs in the world just to
keep myself afloat.
And I remember this shit brokemy brain because I had too much
pride and it really set me backlike six months.
She told me one time after I hadjust lost my job, but I didn't
tell her because I was tooprideful to tell her, hey, I'm
going to Europe with mycoworkers.

(01:04:41):
You're more than welcome tocome, which not thinking about
it at 39, I was fucked up.
She knew what she was doing.
But Wound up getting a littlejealous about the idea of her
going on vacation to Europe withthree of her male coworkers and
two of her girl coworkers, whichseems like an even ratio.

(01:05:02):
Do I look like a fucking idiot?
But anyway, I didn't have nofunds.
I didn't have no pride at thattime.
And I just lost my job.
So I really didn't speak up formyself, which I probably should
have.
So what I did was to cock blockthe whole situation.
I took a loan from her to payfor all my stuff.
And I told her I'd pay her Bro,I had no business doing that

(01:05:23):
because I was in a thousanddollars of debt with the person
that I love just so I could tryto keep up with her when I
really should have just stoodhome, worked on my resume,
worked on one week through fourthat we just said here and got
myself in a situation to getabove water.
And I really wanted to make thatpoint clear, Rich, because you
have no business going toconcerts.

(01:05:43):
You have no business smoking,drinking, popping out because
that shit is not helping thecause.
As far as smoking and drinkinggoes, Rich, you know that's
something I haven't done most ofmy life.
How does that serve as anegative to somebody that's in
this situation?

SPEAKER_00 (01:05:58):
Yeah, having vices when you got no money is
probably not a good thing.
And even when you do get money,I don't condone having vices.
I had them in my 20s.
Bro, it's hard to tell somebodyin their 20s not to have vices.
Everybody's drinking,everybody's smoking, everybody's
vaping.
Do what you want.

SPEAKER_01 (01:06:17):
Alcohol does something to you.
I think it's a little darker.
Weed does something to youthat's a little bit, removes
you.
I can't speak to it exactly, butI do know it doesn't help.
I'm just trying to, I'm askingyou, what's the why behind why
it doesn't help?

SPEAKER_00 (01:06:30):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (01:06:30):
One, money.
Obviously, you got no businessspending money on this shit, but
yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (01:06:35):
Yeah, I mean, this is part of the clear the noise
is you got to cut alcohol, yougot to cut weed.
These are natural depressants,right?
And the last thing you need whenyou're trying to build motion
and you're trying to head down apositive is things that are
going to not make you feel goodand make you numb the pain.
You spoke about that on weekone.

(01:06:57):
You got to run towards thismotherfucker.
You got to run towards the painif you're looking to make any
substantial progress.
You're suppressing this shitwith weed and alcohol or
cigarettes or whatever, andthose things don't contribute to
the solution.
If it doesn't contribute to thesolution, just try to get rid of
it.

(01:07:17):
Like I said, it's hard to tellsomebody the 20s not to do vices
when like everybody's wildingout doing something.
For sure.
For sure.

SPEAKER_01 (01:07:25):
Now we're going to wrap it up here, Rich.
One last thing.
We'll go back and forth on onelast thing that we wanted to
mention that we may have missedor we want to tee up for the
part two of this episode, whichis, okay, we got through week
one all the way through weekeight.
And no, we're not fuckingidiots.
We just going to duplicate onethrough four for week five
through eight.

(01:07:45):
So that's the direction to youguys.
It's like some Mr.
B shit.
Y'all got a bonus.
There's a extra four weeks inthe kit.
So it's an eight-week plan.
Just do week one through fourtwo times over.
And Rich and I are going to do apart two starting from week
nine.
And that would be moreactionable advice that's more
rooted in you have a goodfoundation.

(01:08:08):
But one thing I wanted tomention, Rich, before we go, and
I don't know if you haveanything you want to add, which
is I think accountability isimportant.
And I don't know how you dothat.
Everybody has their own system.
I have three in mind that havealways worked for me just
because, again, I'm a pridefulfuck.
And whenever I'm down bad, Ilike to feel that sting.

(01:08:28):
You ever get like a toothache ora cut and every now and then
you'll press it just to see whatit feels like?
I like that feeling.

SPEAKER_00 (01:08:34):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (01:08:34):
Because it reminds me I'm not healed yet.
Three things that I always dowhen I want to start something
that I'm afraid to start andFailure's podcast is one of them
and that's why I called Richbecause I knew once I called
him, I wasn't putting that genieback in the bottle because Rich,
you know I adore you, bro.
You're one of my closest friendsand my business partner.

(01:08:55):
But one thing I hate love aboutyou is that if I tell you we're
going to do something, you'renot letting up.
So in some weird way, I didn'tcome with you with the idea of
failures until I was about eightmonths of research in.
And I was like, okay, likesitting in front of my phone
thinking to myself, if I callthis motherfucker, I know I
can't turn back because now I'mgoing to feel like an idiot.

(01:09:16):
Because I know Rich, once hestarts, he finishes.
And I think that's number one ofthe three things I wanted to
share in the accountabilitypackage.
One is find someone that you'realmost embarrassed to share your
dreams with and your goals withbecause you know they're going
to hold you to it because theylove you and they want you to
see it through.
And they're going to make youfeel like shit if you got to go
see them and you fell apartagain, if you fell off the wagon

(01:09:40):
again.
I know in NA, NarcoticsAnonymous and Alcohol Anonymous,
they call them sponsors.
You need somebody that you cango to and they're going to hold
you to your word.
I think of like Tropic Thunderwhen Jack Black ties himself to
the tree and he says, no matterwhat I tell you, I'm going to go
through with drolls.
Do not believe anything I say.

(01:10:00):
And then he, if you've seenTropic Thunder, it's funny
because he relapses right infront of them.
Number two, write it downsomewhere.
I think that's important.
There's something I like, evennow, if you're in my house or my
office, I write everything down.
There's something for me aboutwriting it or typing it that
makes it feel real.
And those are just the two Iwanted to share, Rich, in terms
of comments.

SPEAKER_00 (01:10:19):
Yeah, no, I think that's great advice.
When you write something down,it certainly makes it real.
And going back to theaccountability, I think you have
to want to sort of like feellike you're receiving the
accolades of your naturalchanges and your progression.

(01:10:39):
Like I know for a long time whenI was in my early 20s and I got
a woman pregnant so early on,like I felt like a loser, bro.
I'm like, damn, everyone in myfamily must think that I'm a
loser.
I'm a loser.
I'm a bozo.
Damn.
Did you really feel that way?
I did.
I did.
Because I'm like-

SPEAKER_01 (01:10:54):
So what a redemption for you.
What a redemption.

SPEAKER_00 (01:10:57):
Yeah.
Where you stand right now.
Exactly.
And the 180 is like, okay,everything has changed.
My physique, my skillset, myjob, my financial situation.
Now amongst my family and evenmy peers is like, oh no, that
dude rich.
Like, no, that guy is sharp orhe figured it out

SPEAKER_01 (01:11:18):
or- A few years of being dedicated changes the

SPEAKER_00 (01:11:21):
narrative.

(01:11:49):
By the end of this episode, wehope that you start moving
forward in a positive directionand that that's not you next
week.

SPEAKER_01 (01:11:57):
That's a fact.
That's a fact.
There's a lot that our communitycould really dive into on this
episode.
And I know they're going tochallenge us to do a part two,
but before we close out,anything you want to say?

SPEAKER_00 (01:12:06):
Yeah, listen, don't let another week slide by.
Start the reset today.
Pick one action, whether that bedelete her number, hit the gym,
get a haircut.
But I promise you all thesethings will start to make you
feel like the dominoes arefalling and you're starting to
move in the right direction, goback, listen to this episode,
use it as a guide, and man,please hit us up on Apple

(01:12:32):
Podcasts, Spotify, leave acomment, troll us, talk shit.

SPEAKER_01 (01:12:37):
Yeah, we heard the feedback.
We're going to get on YouTube.
It's just YouTube is a differenttype of beast, so we want to
make sure when we startuploading our videos, they're
quality.

SPEAKER_00 (01:12:47):
For sure.

SPEAKER_01 (01:12:48):
Failure's podcast Learn from our failures so you
don't have to.
Rich, this episode, man.

SPEAKER_00 (01:12:54):
It's a good one.
We're going to need a part two.

SPEAKER_01 (01:12:56):
Most invested I've been in a subject, so I think
we're going to need a part twofor sure.

SPEAKER_00 (01:13:01):
Let's do it.

UNKNOWN (01:13:03):
Let's do it.