You’re the Blueprint: Fatherhood, Legacy & Invisible Influence

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In this premiere episode of Failures: The Podcast, Rich and Justin dive deep into fatherhood, legacy, and the invisible influence we carry—often without realizing it.

Rich opens up about how becoming a girl dad softened him in ways he never expected. Justin reflects on the powerful, unexpected impact he had on his son and nephew, simply by showing up and living his life.

They talk regrets, father figures, generational weight, and how growing up without a blueprint made them realize…

They are the blueprint now.

If you're a man trying to find direction, purpose, or peace — this episode is for you.

Failures: The Podcast 2025
We're not gods. We're not gurus.
Just two men in our 30s sharing what we’ve learned the hard way—so you don’t have to.

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Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_00 (00:03):
the more I started learning about what this
platform is about, and I wastrying to help out young men
navigate the world through ourfailures, is that a lot of these
people don't have perfectconditions.
They're actually the opposite ofperfect.
They're going through a lot ofthings that can't be explained
in one YouTube video that'sseven minutes long with the top
five tips.
Yo, Rich, so I got to meet thefamily.

(00:25):
I got to meet your lady.
I got to meet your newborn baby.

SPEAKER_01 (00:27):
Yeah, yeah.
That was dope.
So I had some pull-ups in NewYork.
Um...
caught you watching your niece'ssoftball game, who's very, very
talented.
I think ranked third in thestate.
Yeah.
Top

SPEAKER_00 (00:41):
five across the board in New Jersey.
She's playing in the statetournament.
Actually, her championship isthis week for the number one
spot.
Her name is Destiny Duran.
Catch her.
She's incredible.
That's amazing, bro.

SPEAKER_01 (00:52):
How does it feel as an uncle to watch when your
nieces kind of reach highpotential?
Damn.
That's a loaded question,

SPEAKER_00 (01:01):
bro.
Definitely a loaded question.
I guess this is the platform toget me in a vulnerable moment.
Yeah, man, it's beautiful, bro.
This is a very personal thingI'm going to say, which this is
what we created the platformfor, but I just told my brother,
man, I don't necessarily believethat people are limited based on

(01:26):
skill or potential.
A lot of it is based off of justfamily sticking together and
raising a child.
And two parents can really do alot for someone.
That sensitivity that comes frommom and that strength and
persistence and more groundedenergy that comes from a dad,

(01:48):
especially if you're a boy.
And then the dual income fromboth families.
If you have one parent making$30,000 and your dad is gone, it
makes it really tough for theone person that's only making
$30,000 to raise a a kid ormultiple kids.
And then like schooling system,a lot of stuff that goes into
just those one little decisionsthat families make to, and to

(02:10):
each his own, you know, ifyou're not having the best
relationship, I don't, I don'tthink anyone should be in a
fucked up relationship, butthere is something to be said
about destiny being the oldestdaughter that my brother has.
And then my brother has fourother kids.
Envy was pretty much, you knowwhat?
This actually might relate toyou.
Cause I met your daughteryesterday.
And she's getting the luxury ofbeing raised by a more mature

(02:32):
rich and more experienced rich.
And when the time comes to havemy kid, I'm sure they're going
to benefit from me at 39 versusme at 18.
Anyway, I say that to say, Ithink my niece is the first
person in our family on theDuran side and the Noel side, my
mom's side.
They got the luxury of a stablehousehold, two parents, joint

(02:55):
income, two really smartparents.
And, um, My brother had fourkids before her, so he got a lot
of reps in.
And she's incredibly stoic.
She's determined.
She has all the things you wouldwant from somebody that is going
to play a fucking boring sportlike baseball.
You know what I mean?
Where it requires you to be verydisciplined, get 500 at bats.

(03:19):
You got to be calm.
You got to be disciplined.
You got to be very controlledwhen you play baseball.
It's one of those sports that'smore mental than anything else.
And I think she deserves a lotof credit.
She's an absolute rock star.
But when all those variables addup, you usually get somebody
that is really good at what theydo.
And she's a kid still.
She's 17 turning 18.

(03:40):
She got a full scholarship, a D1school.
She's going to compete yearafter year for the college
softball world series for women.
But when you speak to her, she'ssmart.
She's chill.
She's calm.
She's not like overhyped.
You could tell that she wasraised right.
And- I think the same goes forall of us and anybody in our
community.
Sometimes your table only hastwo legs or three legs and

(04:04):
you're missing one and you gotto work in life to fill that
fourth leg.
So no excuses.
I don't think we live in a worldof excuses, both you and I,
Rich.
I know you didn't grow up withyour father.
My pops and my moms, theyseparated when I was young.
So I don't believe in excuses.
I think you can figure it out,but it does show what the

(04:26):
potential of my DNA is in myfamily's bloodline when there is
stability.
So I give a lot of credit to my,my brother and his lady for
that.
Um, she's the product of somegood parenting.
I mean, it's a good stabilityand you know, my brother, he's
super fucking intense, but evenyou've known him my whole life.
So you've seen how he's matured,you know, and envy is a product
of that, you know?

(04:47):
And again, she deserves a lot ofcredit.
I wouldn't want her to thinkanything else, but you know, I'm
sure you can imagine.
What's all the stuff you knownow versus back then when you
were raising Jensen?
Yeah.
Do you see it?
They're like, can you actuallysee it when you're raising your
daughter now?
You're like, damn, I didn't evenknow any of this when I had my
son.

SPEAKER_01 (05:04):
Yeah, but I think certainly patience.
You learn a lot more patience.
I mean, there's a differencebetween raising a son to be a
man and raising a daughter.
So this is a lot more newer forme.
And, um, I'm, I'm starting tosee like her personality and her

(05:26):
different emotions and, and, andbeing sensitive to those
emotions when they come and, youknow, calming her down.
So she's definitely brought amuch softer side out of me than
just like, bro, go clean yourroom.
Go.

SPEAKER_00 (05:39):
Wait, so you're telling me that's real.
Cause people always tell me thatwhen you have a daughter, I
think that's real,

SPEAKER_01 (05:44):
bro.
I think that's real.
You're already, how old is she?
She's a, she's 10 months.
Just turned 10 months, yeah.
So you're already feeling thateffect.
Yeah, yeah, bro.
She's, I don't even know how toexplain it.
I wish I had words to explainit, but there's something about
when you have a daughter, bro,that you just view the world
differently.
Definitely view womendifferently.

(06:05):
I mean, you're assisting inraising a future woman.
So you feel the need to makesure you do everything right for
that child.
And it's interesting, like, Inoticed how she is towards me
versus her mom.
And it's like night and day.
She's like all about that.

(06:27):
Just the way she looks at me,bro.
Like her big eyes, glossy, likeadmiration.
It's only 10 months.
So she doesn't know what she'slooking at, but she knows she's
looking at an individual thatshe like adores.
She's like, I love this person.

SPEAKER_00 (06:40):
So wait, you're saying, you're saying it's for
future fathers out there.
Our fathers are ready to havedaughters.
You're saying like, that levelof like locked in affection,
female energy towards you.
It don't matter how tough of atough guy you want to be.
It cripples you instantly.
Like she, she got a hold on you.

SPEAKER_01 (07:00):
An insane hold on me, bro.
Wow.
Yeah, bro.
It's like whatever you want,what do you need?
You're my princess.

SPEAKER_00 (07:09):
And I mean, your son probably, yeah, your son
probably knows this already, butlike it's a different type.
It's a different type of energyyou're getting from her than you
did when he was a baby.

SPEAKER_01 (07:16):
Yeah.
Yeah.
And, and I thought initially, Imean, he's all about that too.
And I thought initially like,damn, you know, I'm having a
second child, um, not with hismother.
And I thought there'd be somesort of like jealousy there for
a long time.
He was the only child, all theattention went to him.
So now he has to split myattention two ways.

(07:39):
And the way that I kind ofhelped him conceptualize it,
it's just like, Oh, you're myonly son.
you know what I mean like Idon't want any more children and
I didn't have another son andyou're my only son and he was
like oh damn like that's trueyeah so once I told him like

(07:59):
you're my only son that broughthim comfort that's like damn
he's right you know my siblingis a girl and there's a
different relationship there sohe's cool with the whole you
know yeah accepting a newsibling.

SPEAKER_00 (08:18):
Wait, did you notice it at first?
Or is this something

SPEAKER_01 (08:22):
that y'all spoke about before?
I thought it was something thatit would just come just knowing
his personality and knowing howmuch attention he seeks from me.
I'm like, man, and this is athing in parenting.
You see it all over online whereit's like, I forgot what they
do, but most parents, what theydo for the first child is they

(08:45):
get them a gift.
Almost like a, hey, I know thisnew baby is arriving, but don't
think we forgot about you.
So they get them like a, there'sa proper term for it, but they
get them like a small gift.
Like, oh, here's a gift.
We haven't forgot about you.
But this new baby is like alittle bit more of a priority
right now just because it's anew baby and it needs a lot of

(09:05):
attention.
You know, there's 12 yearseparation between my son and my
daughter.
So I haven't had to do a lot ofthat.
But I did have to talk to himand let him know, like, hey, if
I'm busy or if you think we'renot giving you attention, just
let me know.

SPEAKER_00 (09:23):
Yeah, we might as well stay right here because I
like where this conversation isgoing.
And there is something you toldme last week, which we did want
to put into the show, which waswe had discussed invisible
influence.
Sometimes men don't realize thatwhen they're living their lives
and they're carving a path forthemselves and they're on their

(09:47):
individual road to whereverthey're trying to go, the level
of influence you can have onpeople without even knowing it.
And that sort of cuts both ways,right?
If I think about my father,Macho Duran, there is influence
that he had on me that I stillcarry to today that I know I

(10:07):
would not be remotely assuccessful as I am in my
business if I didn't pull these,whether it's nature or nurture
skills that my dad had, softskills, his personability, his
salesmanship, his ability toread a room and get what he
wants out of that room.
I mean, you met my father.
I obviously have that from him.

(10:28):
I didn't learn that at RutgersUniversity.
And then there's negative,there's dark traits that he has
that I personally always paidattention to and I can every now
and then dip back into that.
So This discussion that you andI had, Rich, which we thought
would be great for failures, wasinvisible influence.
A man doesn't realize that whilehe's carving his name into the

(10:51):
cement, the level of influencethat comes from people that
you're not even thinking about.
And there was a story you toldme about two people that were
very influenced by you, and youdidn't even realize it.
So like, Let people know thatstory and how much it shocked
you and why it shocked you.
Because obviously, you know,you're a good dude.
You live in a good lifestyle.

SPEAKER_01 (11:13):
Yeah.
So my son is 13 now.
And about a couple of weeksback, I asked him, I said, hey,
you know, high school goes byfast.
It's a really short four years.
You should start thinking aboutwhat colleges you're thinking
about going to, whether it's outof state, in state, and, you
know, kind of just start toplant that seed.

(11:33):
And without hesitation, hisreaction was, uh, dad, I want to
go to Montclair stateuniversity.
And I'm like, why do you want togo there?
He's like, Oh, cause that'swhere you went.
I'm like, Oh, okay.
That's, that's interesting.
Like, you know, but it's my son.
So it's like, I kind of expectedit.
It's like, Oh, what do you wantto do when you grow up?

(11:54):
Oh, whatever my dad does.
You know what I mean?
So I was like, all right, cool.
I guess that'd be cool.
Right.
For my son to go to the samecollege I went to and sort of,
uh, keep the lineage going.
And a few weeks after that, Ihad the family over for dinner
and my nephew is 15.
I think he's a sophomore in highschool and I asked him the same

(12:16):
question.
And without hesitation, he said,Montclair State University.
And I was like, I was kind oftaken back.
I was like, well, wait a minute.
I'm like, So I asked him thesame question, like, why do you
want to go there?
He's like, oh, I saw you gothere and I saw the pictures and
it looks like a beautiful schooland I want to stay in New Jersey
and get all these reasons.

(12:39):
And it dawned on me, I'm like,wow, I never pushed this
particular college to these twoindividuals, my son and my
nephew, but somehow through, youknow, invisible influence, they
saw first of all, I was the onlycollege graduate in my family.
Right.
So someone had to break the moldto let these, the younger

(13:03):
generation know, like, Hey,uncle did it.
Like, why can't we do it?
Right.
So I think I was that for them.
Yep.
And that was just me operating.
Like I didn't go to collegethinking, you know, you know,
the next layer, the nextgeneration of Sanchez's are
going to follow my footsteps.
But I think just naturally, themtrying to navigate, uh, the

(13:26):
world and saying, all right,which route I'm going to take,
you know, they, they look attheir immediate family, right?
Uncle, dad, mom, friends,whoever.
And they start to pick liketheir influences essentially.
Right.
And I'm, I'm, I'm happy.
I'm proud that I could be thatfor them.

(13:46):
But what took me back was Ididn't tell them to go there.
You know what I mean?
I didn't even offer that as anoption.
I didn't say, oh, have youthought of Montclair State?
They just so happened to just dotheir own due diligence, see me
go through it, and kind of wantto follow my path.
So I thought that was beautiful.

SPEAKER_00 (14:05):
But really think about it.
I know you personally.
The failures platform, peopleare going to start understanding
who you are, the dynamic betweenour relationship.
I'm definitely way louder, moreflamboyant, We've always been
like that.
I mentioned it in one of theearlier episodes we did.
I've always admired you becauseyou've always got it done from a

(14:26):
more chill, calm, not sobraggadocious perspective, but
you've gotten way more done inone lifetime than most people I
know.
You never were the most loudestperson in the room.
I think you are an example ofthe theory that you don't have
to be the loudest to lead.
The theme of this this questionor the reason why we wanted to

(14:50):
talk about it is like, youweren't loud.
You didn't push it on your kids.
You don't even push it on yourfamily.
You just kind of did it yourselfand they're copying you.
You know, even if you didn'tintend for them to follow your
blueprint, you laid a blueprintand you did it in a way that
they wanted to follow it.
So you're the example.

(15:11):
They're watching you.
Like, I think that was the thingthat took you away a little bit.
You're like, damn, You know,talk about that because you hit
me about it.
And you're typically not likethat.
You know, they're following you.
They're watching you.
You led without being theloudest in the room.

SPEAKER_01 (15:27):
Yeah.
I mean, it's interesting becauseyou don't really think about the
decisions you make as affectingor influencing others, but they
do, right?
And once it's kind of like whenyou identify that you have a set
of influence on people,especially people that you love,
It's like you take a step backbecause you're like, oh, wait a

(15:48):
minute.
Like, I got to be extra cautiousnow of what I say, what I do,
how I move.
Because I got followers.
You know

SPEAKER_00 (15:57):
what I mean?
Like, you have no idea who'swatching you.

SPEAKER_01 (16:00):
You have no idea who's watching you.

SPEAKER_00 (16:01):
And was it your cousin?
I mean, I'm sorry, your nephewthat caught you by surprise?
Because you, like, what is yourrelationship with him?
Did you even

SPEAKER_01 (16:07):
see him?
Yeah, I

SPEAKER_00 (16:08):
mean,

SPEAKER_01 (16:08):
yeah.
Like, you know, I see him everytime we have dinners, maybe once
a month.
But, you know, we don't speakdaily, right?
I have limited influence on whathe wants to do.
So I thought it was interestingthat that's the path he chose to
go down.
And I have one more.

(16:29):
My girlfriend's sister's son,she asked him, she was like, oh,
what do you want to be when yougrow up?
He's in first grade.
So that's like a typicalquestion you ask a kindergarten
or first grade.
And he goes, I want to be likeUncle Rich.
And she was like, Uncle Rich,why do you want to be like Uncle
Rich?

(16:49):
He was like, because he gets alot of money and he works from
home.
I

SPEAKER_00 (16:55):
love that.
It's either you or Kai Sanat.
In his mind, you're a fuckingstreamer.
You just chill at home all

SPEAKER_01 (17:04):
day.
I have no idea what I do.
He's just like, I just know hehas money and he works from his
house.
He doesn't have to go to a job.
But to add to the examples, it'sanother example of this child is
six, seven years old.
I'm not teaching him anything.

(17:24):
He walks in, he sees my fourmonitors in my home office.
And in his brain, he'sconceptualizing like, oh, my
uncle must do something veryimportant, right?
oh, he has a house, so thereforehe has money.
Whatever he's doing, it'sworking, and I want to be that.

(17:45):
And he's seven years old, right?
This is why I love when you andI have conversations like this,
because I'll share something,and you'll be like, oh, yeah,
bro, that's called invisibleinfluence.
Like, I didn't even know thatwas a term.
And then you hit me with, like,five different videos that you
saw on the concept, and I alwayslove when we could go back and

(18:06):
forth, because, like, When Ishare this, you make it seem
like, oh, this is a real thing.
This is the name.
You know what I mean?
You should actually

SPEAKER_00 (18:16):
research this a little bit deeper.
Obviously, you guys know I don'thave a family yet.
Rich does have a family.
But Rich and I have been friendssince the beginning of time.
And we were very different inpersonality.
But the one thing we did shareis that we would read a lot of
self-development books.
And this is...

(18:37):
This is still very true.
And I love that we've grown up,that we can tell the story.
Me and Rich used to share anAudible account.
Same password, same login.
We weren't even doing businesstogether.
We just worked together.
I think we had run a few playsat that time.
Like we had sold, this is not aplastic bag, tote bags from
Whole Foods.
We like, we stole, we didn'tsteal.

(18:58):
We finessed like 50 bags and wewon.
They were like$15 bags and wefound out online they were
selling for like, 400 a pop andme and Rich made a cool$5,000 as
high school kids going tocollege, community college.
So I say all that to say me andRich were always, we came from
the same hood and there wasn't alot of information and people

(19:19):
that were successful around us,but I think we always had a
thirst for a little bit moreknowledge that was beyond our
immediate community.
And I always got into the habitof just reading self-development
books because I always felt likeit gave me an edge on a lot of
my competition and whoever thatcompetition was at any phase of
my life.
And now what I've gotten intothe habit was, which I think

(19:41):
we're going to do a segment on alittle bit later, which is like
habits that really change yourlife and you wish you would have
learned sooner, was now I spenda lot of my time whenever I have
free time listening to audiobooks or actually reading books
on like some of the mostsuccessful people that have
lived hundreds and hundreds ofyears before us.
That's why I told you I got intolike alexander the great and his

(20:04):
father francis the great andlike learning all these traits
of people who actually lived andthen seeing in 2025 even though
we're in the ai revolution andthe live streaming revolution
and everything's digital and meand rich are able to host a
high-res podcast across thecountry history repeats itself
but more than history repeatingitself human behavior repeats

(20:26):
itself And I love studyingfirst-generation millionaires or
first-generation billionaires orimmigrants who changed the
trajectory of their wholefamilies because I can relate to
some of the things they're goingthrough currently in the lives
that we're living.
And I'll pull things from a lotof the pressure and the stress

(20:47):
and a lot of the untimely deathsa lot of these people had
because Again, history repeatsitself, but more than history
repeating itself, human naturerepeats itself.
So one thing that I share withRich when he told me that story
was like, oh yeah, that's theburden of somebody who breaks
the curse of generationalpoverty.

(21:10):
Being at the poverty line orbeing slightly below it is
something that my familyexperienced and your family
experienced.
Obviously, your family came fromthe Dominican Republic.
My parents lived in New York,but my grandparents came from
Puerto Rico.
So they didn't come here withthe plan to be investing all
their ancillary funds in 401ksand cryptos and EFTs.

(21:34):
That wasn't their plan.
Their plan was just to get hereand give us an opportunity, give
your parents an opportunity,give my parents an opportunity.
And I think, like I said, it'sfunny, it's become a full
circle.
Envy, who's my niece...
She's the beneficiary of all theenergy and time that went into
everything that got us here.
So you're the beneficiary ofwhat came before you.
You just expedited it.

(21:55):
And the one thing that a lot ofgreat people suffer from is this
imposter syndrome because theydon't believe that the success
they're getting is trulydeserved.
So what happens is they try todownplay it.
They try to minimalize it.
They don't want bragging infront of their parents because
they don't want their parents tofeel lesser than.
And obviously, we've talkedabout that a lot.

(22:17):
But a byproduct of that isyou're trying to shrink yourself
for the older people so they canstill relate to you.
But you don't realize a lot ofthe younger people are paying
attention to you.
And they're looking for examplesof people who've made it and in
their mind are living differentthan the people that they know.
So yeah, the internet'sincredible because you can find
people that are living a lifethat you've never lived.

(22:39):
Right now, if I wanted to seewhat Singapore looked like, I
could see it in HDs, andtheoretically, I went on
vacation to Singapore.
But the truth is, there's a bigdifference between map and
terrain.
Map is a piece of paper.
You can see where you're going.
Terrain is actually being on theground.
A hill looks very different on amap than in person.

(23:00):
You know what I mean?
A waterfall is very different ina map than in person.
And you are the terrain.
You're a real-life example.
You rich, you're a real-lifeexample.
And part of that invisibleinfluence is kind of the wind
for a lot of great people'ssails because they realize, oh,
shit, I've been living a smallerlife because I don't want to

(23:21):
stand out too much in front ofmy family or the people that I
know.
I think there's a Britishsaying, it's like the tallest
poppy gets cut, meaning peoplewho brag usually get taken down.
And that's something that wekind of have a little bit of us
in us.
Anyway, so a lot of these booksI've read about very important
people is they start realizingthe influence they have and

(23:42):
passing information and givinginformation back.
But it was my idea to do apodcast about giving information
back to younger men.
You would have never thought ofthat because I think you're a
more humble version.
You're chill.
You're just like, whoever learnsfrom me, they learn from me.
If not, I'm just going to setthe example.
So the one thing I give you alot of credit for is that you
lead silently.

(24:03):
You have invisible influences,which means you're not always
banging your chest saying, oh,everybody should be like me
because I'm living better thanyou.
Nah, bro, you're healthy.
You got a happy family.
Your house is always in order.
You own your home.
You know what I mean?
Even though your firstrelationship wasn't an ideal
one, you had a kid young, yourebounded.
And I think whether you know itor not, you're the Jay-Z to your

(24:28):
family.
You're the, you're the, you'rethe only person in real life.
That's not a map, but it's moreterrain that they can see on the
day to day.
And, you know, again, I, Iadmire you very much as a
friend.
So you're a living example ofwhat can be done when the world
is pushing back against you.
So that, I think that'sincredible that you're, you
know, not only your son, the sonis a kind of expected, the wild

(24:51):
card is that you're influencingyour brother's kids and your
family's kids.
That's incredible.
Like, did you even realize youwere setting the tone for your
whole family until they toldyou?
No, no.
And I think that's, that's whatset me back.
And, um, does it even feel, itprobably even feels crazy that
I'm saying that to you.
That's it.
You're setting the tone for yourfamily.

SPEAKER_01 (25:08):
Yeah.
It feels good, bro.
And you know, And hearing you,which, by the way, thank you for
speaking so beautifully aboutme.
It's a fact.
Nah, I appreciate it, bro.
And it's likewise on this side.
I think that's interesting,right?
Like, one of the things that issuper important when you're
operating, you know, when you'reinfluencing, right, is it's one

(25:34):
thing to tell someone what to doand how to do it.
And it's another thing whenthey've seen you do it, right?
When you're observing someonewho's reached something that you
want to obtain, it's like, oh,wait, that's achievable.

SPEAKER_02 (25:51):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (25:51):
They did it.
And that's a family member ofmine.
We got the same last name,right?
Versus, and I think that's theinteresting dynamic between the
role that I play as sort of likea silent influencer in the
family and my brother, right?
Who's the father who was like,

SPEAKER_00 (26:09):
nah, you got to do this.
You got to do that.
I know that from being an uncle.
I definitely, that's a luxuryfor being an uncle.

SPEAKER_01 (26:15):
Yeah.
Yeah.
But he hasn't done it himself.
Right.
So he's like, all right, coolpops.
Like I'm gonna listen to you.
But my uncle's already done whatyou're telling me I need

SPEAKER_00 (26:25):
to do.
And that's your younger brother.
So he still has time too.

SPEAKER_01 (26:28):
Yeah.
No, for sure.
No, not my brother.
I love my brother.
He's doing very well forhimself, but there's a different
level of influence there.
Right.
Which is dope.
And I think, see, with greatpower comes great
responsibility, right?
Like, now that I've put someinformation out there and I've
received some

SPEAKER_00 (26:48):
feedback, yeah, now I feel like it's a little bit of
a burden.
Yeah, if you smoke a cigarette,now you're like, fuck.
You're flicking it.

SPEAKER_01 (26:56):
Yeah, yeah,

SPEAKER_00 (26:56):
your nephew's going to be like, you smoke?
I want to smoke.
You're going to be like, nah, I

SPEAKER_01 (26:59):
can't.
No, no, no, but this is good.
This is new information for me,right?
Like, now I'm like, wow, Ireally have the ability to
influence the next generation ofmy last name.
And I put, I asked a question, Igot some feedback and I know
they'll watch it.
So now it's, now it's fun.
Now it's like, all right, whatcould I do?

(27:20):
You know what I mean?
Like, do I get anothercertification and just show them
like all the, all the planks upthere, right?
Like, do I, uh, you know, buyanother property and show them
like, Hey, you can invest inmultiple things, right?
Like, That was fun because it'slike the more I obtain, the more
I achieve, the more they thinkthat it's attainable for them as

(27:41):
they should.
Right.
But it's to your point, it'sbreaking the lineage of like
that.
I think one time we spoke aboutthe flea in the jar.
It's like the flea will onlyjump as high as it thinks it can
jump.
Uh, when, when it's, there's ajar on top, but then when you
take the jar out, it still onlyjumps as high as the, the height

(28:02):
of the jar.
They don't know how far they canjump until they see someone in
close proximity jumping higherthan what they thought possible.

SPEAKER_00 (28:12):
I mean, that's a great analogy.
And not to get toopseudo-political, but the fact
that we're even seen as fleas isa whole other, you know what I
mean?
Certain animals are just leftbehind because they're
insignificant.
You only matter to the worlduntil you matter to the world,
you know?

(28:32):
Like, you only matter to womenuntil you're beneficial to
women.
You only matter to your employeruntil you can do something
that's of service to the greatermission, which is the person who
owns the company needs yourservices.
And the same goes for being aninvisible influence on your
family.
You only matter to the worlduntil you matter to the world.

(28:53):
You could think you matter, youcould want to matter, but you
have to actually do somethingthat contributes to the greater
village, so...
Yeah, bro.
I mean, I don't know if Damienis on.
I don't know if he ever made iton.
And if he didn't make it on,it's a knock on my mentorship.
He's just not consistent

SPEAKER_01 (29:12):
enough.
What would be your piece ofadvice to someone who's like 17
or 18 and has like a seven oreight-year-old brother and is
navigating high school and theyare giving off that, invisible
influence to their youngersibling, but they just don't
know?

(29:33):
Like, what would be somethingthat, sort of like a piece of
advice that you would give them?

SPEAKER_00 (29:39):
Yeah, you know, I actually have that exact setup,
but my brother's eight yearsolder than me, so I got to see
it firsthand.
The one thing that I will say toanswer that question is the
invisible influence that I wasable to gather in my family came
from authenticity.
And I love that we're creatingour own platform because I try

(30:01):
to, as a marketing expert andsomebody that tries to
understand different categoriesand media and then see where the
gaps are at and how we couldfill in those gaps
authentically, I'm going to giveour competition a cheat code.
One glaring gap that's in themarket in self-improvement and
older guys trying to help ouryounger men navigate their lives
and just kind of basically doingwhat we're talking about, the

(30:23):
influence that we have on ourfamily, but just for our broader
community online.
is that a lot of people giveadvice, but the advice is based
on the conditions being perfect.
A lot of the advice that'sshared is almost as if you are
starting in a family with twoparents, dual income, no trauma,

(30:45):
family who speaks English,everybody speaking.
You're in a country whereeverybody speaks your language.
There's not crime and violenceoutside.
Media hasn't decayed.
your family's habits, dietary,fucking just a family that only
eats pork, fried food,McDonald's, takeout, hasn't
already given the older peoplein your family diabetes.

(31:07):
There's a lot of pressure thatcomes with wanting to contribute
to society.
And we both know that the peoplethat came before us that had
that burden their conditionsweren't perfect.
And I believe that the more Istarted learning about what this
platform is about, and I wastrying to help out young men
navigate the world through ourfailures, is that a lot of these

(31:30):
people don't have perfectconditions.
They're actually the opposite ofperfect.
They're going through a lot ofthings that can't be explained
in one YouTube video that'sseven minutes long with the top
five tips.
There is a subreddit that I'vegotten really into, which is
like kids that come fromfamilies that have younger
siblings that are sohandicapped, like physically
handicapped, and there's a listof mental diseases, physical

(31:53):
issues, that they get pushed tothe side to the point where they
don't even exist because theparents obviously have to care
to this younger sibling in a waythat is not normal.
You literally have to give moreattention to someone that's
handicapped.
Yeah.
And even I read those and myheart bleeds for those young men
because it's like, man, they'rein a fucked up spot because they

(32:14):
can't even be critical of thesituation they're in because
then that'll mean that they'redeflecting what they want onto
their sibling who obviouslyneeds more of it.
And I say all that to say myolder brother is far from the
perfect role model.
Have you ever seen Sopranos?
My father is Tony Soprano.
In terms of how he conductedhimself outside and what he had

(32:39):
to do to survive the outsidegiven his situation, And who he
was to me and my brother and myfamily inside.
He was a very caring, loving, hewas just like a regular father.
But those worlds blend and mergeand a lot of that negative
energy from the outside cameinto my household.
And I think my brother was aproduct of that as well because

(33:01):
he wasn't too far removed fromwhat my father did for a living.
So...
I always measure mentorship witha grain of salt.
And then you learn, as I've beendoing, studying some of the
greatest people in history,99.9% of the most incredible
people who've achieved some ofthe most unthinkable things that
you and I benefit from today.

(33:23):
Talking about people whoinvented the light bulb.
I just read the biography onEnzo Ferrari, like most
beautiful car ever invented thatcould travel at lightning speed.
If you watch his biopic, it'slike a movie that's only an hour
and a half long.
He was a piece of shit, likestraight up a piece of shit.
He had multiple families.

(33:43):
He was burnt out, bro.
Walt Disney was burnt out.
These people have given us thegreatest things in the world,
but when you zoom into theirfamily lives, they're not great
people.
Modern day, Bill Belichick, notthe best person in the world,
the greatest coach of all time.
Modern day, Tom Thibodeau, coachof the Knicks.
You know I love the Knicks.
This dude sacrificed his wholefamily just for basketball.

(34:06):
Never been married, never had akid, never been in a long-term
relationship.
It depends on what lens you'relooking at these people through
to qualify whether they are orare not good people.
But what is good?
Good is what's necessary in themoment.
So if we're talking about me andRich, we stand on the shoulders
of the people that came beforeus.
If we're talking about mybrother, he came before me.

(34:28):
So he's just standing on theshoulders of my father, my
grandfather.
So everything comes with a grainof salt.
I think you have to be the bestexample to yourself in that
moment, given the tools and theresources and the information
and the knowledge you have inthat moment.
And be a good example with youractions.

(34:48):
Sometimes, I mean, as you know,most of our families don't have
college degrees.
Hold on.
I'm pretty sure no one in yourfamily older than you has a
college degree.
Yeah, I know.
Same for me.
No one.
What can we really measure them?
We're going to measure thembased on intellectualism, you
know, like college education.

(35:10):
No, you got to measure them ontheir actions, what they were
willing and able to do giventheir circumstances.
So my brother's my greatesthero.
I mean, shit, I could read allthe books in the world on some
of the greatest humans.

SPEAKER_02 (35:25):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (35:27):
Ask anybody who knows me, bro.
I glow when I think about mybrother and what he was able to
do for me.
Part of the reason why I createdthis platform, Rich, is because
I know how important mentorshipfor my brother was to me.
When I'm fucking up, I pick upthe phone.
He always picked up and he gaveme direction.
But the direction wasn't alwaysthe best.
It was just what he could giveme at that moment, given his
circumstance and the level ofknowledge he had.

(35:48):
And I think the same goes foryou with Jensen.
At the time, you were a dad atthat time.
I bet you if you went in a timemachine and seen the advice you
were giving to him, you'd belike, that's terrible advice.
But you know what?
It's what you could give him atthat time.
Sure.
So the one thing that Rich and Iwere talking about off air was
like, what are some tangiblethings that are not so contrived

(36:09):
and so list driven, but like weknow for a fact have helped us.
I'm 39 years old.
My birthday was just a few daysago.
Rich, how old are you now?
37.
So 39 year old, 37 year old, uh,I will put Rich's failure resume
on the lower third, and thenwe'll put my failure resume on
the lower third, just so you canknow we're not just two grumpy

(36:31):
old guys speaking aboutbullshit.
We actually have achieved thingsin our lives.
But that's not what this show isfor.
This show is for to help anybodythat is 10 years behind us in
age or 20 years behind us in agethat want some advice or want
some sort of a map or roadmap tobe a better person or shit, they
just want some insights onpeople who they feel like they
can trust.

(36:51):
We are your neighborhood bigbrothers.
So something that we didn't feelwas contrived, but we definitely
wanted to talk about was like,what habits you wish you learned
younger that may have changedyour life?
And needless to say, you can'tgo in a time machine and get
those habits back, but you knowfor a fact, if I wouldn't have
developed that good habit, mylife would have been a lot

(37:13):
different.

SPEAKER_01 (37:13):
Yeah, I got a couple that come to mind.
Probably should have the firsttwo, but One, I think is, man,
just the ability to beadaptable.
I think when I was early 17, 18,you kind of walk around with
that complex of like, oh, I knowit all.
No one can tell me nothing, youknow, especially like your

(37:35):
Spanish parents who, you know,you think don't know anything.
And man, that's hindered me.
you know, all throughout mytwenties, just having that
attitude where like, no onearound me is smarter than me.
I think I know it all.
And over time, as I've gottenolder, I've realized like, and

(37:56):
there's so much you can learnabout everyone.
Right.
Like just, I think how much Icared about people based on how
much they've accomplished and,You know, now that I'm older, I
disassociate that.
It's like there's people I lookto for inspiration, motivation,

(38:17):
and, you know, I take that pieceof information and I apply it to
myself.
And then there's other peoplethat I look for other stuff
with, you know, too.
I think the world has a lot moreto teach you than what you think
you know, right?
I remember driving my son to hismom's house and I had to stop.

(38:39):
because there was a duck it waslike two adult ducks and there
was three in the middle likecrossing the street right I had
to stop and I just thought tomyself I'm like how beautiful is
this like I don't know if thisthe first duck is a male or
female this is like mom and dadbut like this sense of community

(38:59):
between these ducks and the factthat the three baby ducks are in
the middle and they're likeprotecting them I'm like this is
beautiful like Like how humanscan learn from just nature.
Yeah, we're animals.
Bro, that was such a cool momentbecause I'm like, man, I hope
this is a mama duck and like afather duck because even animals

(39:20):
who are not as intelligent ashuman beings know to stick
together.
You know what I'm saying?
Like mom, dad protects theducklings.

SPEAKER_00 (39:29):
And in some way you could see your family and that
little duck family.

SPEAKER_01 (39:32):
In some way I see how how dysfunctional humans
are.
It's like my pops wasn't around.
So we were just the half of that

SPEAKER_00 (39:42):
equation.
So you're just a little babyducks walking on the road.

SPEAKER_01 (39:45):
Yeah.
With the one, right?
But we didn't have the other onein the back, which was either
mom or dad or whoever.
So I'm like, damn, even ducksgot it right.
That was my thought.

SPEAKER_00 (39:56):
Now that's powerful, bro.
That's very powerful.

SPEAKER_01 (39:58):
That was my thought is like, even non-intelligent
mammals, have the familyhierarchy correct.
Bro, 18-year-old Rich,19-year-old Rich, 20-year-old
Rich, what would you have beenlike?
Yeah, if you were sitting in thecar with yourself, I would have
been honking like, get the fuckout of the way.

(40:21):
You know what I'm saying?
Bro, that's like Rich, V10, 37years old, much more
retrospective about life andBrother, there's like beauty all
around us if we just

SPEAKER_00 (40:34):
look, right?
You know what that makes methink if I'm looking at, if I'm
truly trying to figure out asolution, right?
Like we're not going to be aprescription show, but there's
definitely prescriptions we canoffer based on a life
experience.
If we're asking habits that Iwish I learned sooner in life,
that's one that is incrediblebecause you're saying just be

(40:55):
more open-minded about where youcan get knowledge and
information from, right?
It doesn't always have to bebased around money.
It doesn't always have to bebased around fitness.
It doesn't always have to bebased around women's status.
Younger me and younger youdefinitely will listen to
anybody with a Rolex, diamondchain, beautiful women, and
lived in a beautiful sky rise inEdgewater or, you know, right?

(41:18):
Instantly in.
You're saying at 37, the worldis filled with a whole bunch of
pieces of information andknowledge if you're really
paying attention.
My question to you is, do wereally believe at 18 you have
enough of life experience toeven do that?
Is that actually something thatan 18-year-old can grasp?

(41:40):
I don't know.
I do think that you got tosuffer a little bit in life and
see a little bit of more life toeven have that perspective, to
look at some fucking duckswalking by and be like, damn,
what a beautiful moment.
I know I got to go pick up myson, but in some way, this
little family is alreadytogether.
And then the last note, whichI'm sure you're not ready to get

(42:01):
into, but we will one day.
Damn, what was my pops at when Ihad to cross the street?
Bro, that's deep.
That's deep.
Yeah.
I mean, there's something inyour subconscious that picked
that up because you're on yourway to pick up your son.
Yeah.
And this duck has his father.

SPEAKER_01 (42:18):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (42:18):
And you're like, here I am.
Road rage ass rich with no pops.

SPEAKER_01 (42:23):
Nah, I think that's a great point.
Um, obviously this is like amuch more mature version of
myself that has this differentlens of life, which is why I'm
able to visualize just animalswalking across the street and
tying that moment to like abroader concept.

(42:45):
Yeah, it'll be, I think you'reright.
I think it'll be difficult forlike an 18 year old to have that
life experience to just realizethe beauty all around them.
But the bigger takeaway is

SPEAKER_00 (42:58):
just- And I guess what I'm saying is you can try,
but it hits different when youhave life experience.
Yeah.
You can have depth in yourthought as a young person.
Yeah.
But it just hits different whenyou've been through heartbreak.
For sure.
Disappointment.
Hating your parents for puttingyou in a situation that you're
in.
Loving your parents forrealizing that they didn't have

(43:20):
a lot.
There's a lot that you gothrough when you get older that
gives you that depth.
that makes those moments alittle bit more intense.
For sure.
Not saying you can't at 18.
No, no, no, for

SPEAKER_01 (43:30):
sure.
What I will say to an 18 yearold is try as hard as you can to
be teachable, right?
Like other people, people yourage, people younger, nature, the
world, a boss, right?
A professor, like everyone hassomething to teach.

(43:51):
And if you're listening and ifyou're aware and if your ears
are open and your eyes are open,Like you can receive that
information.
Right.
And you know, you, you don't, Imean, I'll tie this back into,
for example, Mr.
P right.
Like how influential was he foryou in high school?

(44:11):
Like for you to have beeninspired by him, you had had to
be teachable.
You had had to be comfortableenough to just be aware that
there's someone in thatbuilding.
that could inspire you, thatcould teach you something,
taught you how to operate acamera, taught you how to be in

(44:33):
front of a camera, taught you alittle bit of marketing, taught
you how to write a script.
There's a lot of things that hetaught you.
Had you not been teachable inthat moment, you would have just
been like, fuck this class.
I'm just trying to get an A andkeep it moving.
Hey,

SPEAKER_00 (44:48):
I'm trying to get a C, C-minus to get the fuck out
of high school.
I failed twice.

UNKNOWN (44:55):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (44:55):
Oh, yeah.
Look, I do want to make it a...
Yeah, exactly.
Exactly.
No, you're looking at thefucking king of failures.
I literally got scars on my facethat taught me what not to do in
life.
But I did want to do a top 10,but I think we're only going to
get to five because we're reallyunpacking these, which I think
unpacking and the depth isactually more important.
So number one for you, Rich,I'll say is be adaptable and

(45:17):
open-minded on where you getyour inspiration and knowledge
from.
You're just saying...
Something You Wish You KnewSooner, A.T.O.
Rich Watteau.
That's number one.
I'm going to do two and threebecause I actually think they go
together.
And then you could wrap it up.
Yeah, yeah.
Two and three, like I made mylist before I sent you it.
One was study great men, studygreat people.

(45:43):
That has changed my life.
But you had mentioned somethingthat made me want to add an
addendum to that one.
So that'll be like either 2B or2 and 3.
which is reverse engineergreatness and also reverse
engineer failure.
Meaning, you can learn just asmuch from people who have done

(46:04):
incredible things as much as youcan learn from people who have
tried to do incredible thingsbut failed.
Because there's a lot ofeducation in the try and the
fail because someone eventuallywill succeed and do it.
And you can actually measuremore from a failure because you
can see the gap between oh, thisis what I didn't do and this is

(46:26):
how this person got it done.
So this is where I fell short.
That space between falling shortand someone else succeeding,
that space between the gold andthe silver is the education that
you still need.
And to me, the knowledge isthere because you obviously know
enough to a certain point.
So don't just reverse engineersuccess, reverse engineer

(46:47):
failure.
And on top of all that, to kindof wrap it in a nice little
boas, Study people older thanyou.
Study people who have moreknowledge than you.
Study people who have walkedthis planet longer than you
have.
And to your point, Rich, I thinkspecifically in our culture,
because a lot of our familycomes from Spanish-speaking
countries, I'm Puerto Rican,Rich is Dominican, a lot of

(47:08):
their swag, their energy, theirpersona gets lost in the commute
from DR to the United Statesbecause Spanish is now their
second language.
So a lot of the finesse and alot of the charisma that they
used to have when they were intheir country is lost because
they're adapting to a new world.
And we tend as young kids ofimmigrants to look at our
parents, or at least I'll speakabout my grandparents.

(47:31):
Half of it is I'm not evenunderstanding what they're
saying because I don't speakSpanish that fluently.
But the other half is like, oh,you don't know anything.
What's going on today in theUnited States?
Like this is a different worldwe live in.
And I think when you get older,you realize, oh bro, they
actually do know.
They know a lot more than, andsometimes it's too late before
you realize it.
One story that I'll tell that'skind of in point two and point

(47:53):
three for things I wish I knewsooner was study great people,
study great men, study greatwomen.
And I never had a chance to sitdown with my father's mother who
is my grandma Lele, born andraised in Puerto Rico, moved to
Brooklyn, pretty much stood inBrooklyn, Sunset Park area most
of her life.
So my father was raised, myfather lives now.

(48:14):
A lot of the advice that I feelshe would want to give me, I
would always postpone it becausethat's when I was in the middle
of my career at Def Jam and Iwas just arriving as a music
executive.
And a very sad moment that stilllives with me today and it's one
of the reasons why I put thisdown as things I wish I would
have learned sooner was Mygrandmother has a house in

(48:36):
Puerto Rico, and she wouldalways tell me, like, Nene,
like, we have to go to PuertoRico.
Like, me and you, we should goone day.
Like, your job is always goingto be there.
I'm not always going to be here.
So I want to celebrate that withyou.
I want to bring you to theisland.
And I've never been to PuertoRico.
I still have never been toPuerto Rico.
So I was working Logix 1-800,and it was, like, literally the

(48:56):
biggest moment of my life, mycareer for sure.
He had just won a Grammy,performed at the AMAs, anybody
who knows that song.
knows that the song is damn neardiamond, 10 times platinum.
It impacted society at a levelthat I've never worked a record
that big.
And I just kept ignoring mygrandmother's request to go to
Puerto Rico with her.
And I kept stalling her out asif she was going to be around

(49:19):
forever.
And every time we would talk,she would always tell me things
that would make me curious tolearn more about my family on my
father's side.
And she did a good job atcontextualizing why my dad was
the way he was.
He's like a coin.
Depending on what day you meethim or where you meet him, his
energy could be very differentand powerful in both directions.

(49:39):
And I know I have that trait aswell.
Big Gemini energy.
And I would always be like,damn, one day I'm going to lock
in with my grandmother and I'mgoing to record an interview
with her because I want, becauseshe speaks Spanish fluently.
Her English is not so very good.
And bro, I remember I was flyingto L.A., We were going to do a

(50:01):
fan activation on top of TowerRecords for Logic's follow-up
album to the album that had the1-800 song on it.
And while I was on the flight,sometimes I'll take a flight and
I'll just leave everything onairplane mode because it's one
of the few moments in mybusiness and entertainment where
I could plausibly say like, oh,I didn't have internet.

(50:22):
I was off the grid for fourhours.
So I usually, when I fly, I hopemy boss doesn't see this.
When I usually fly from New Yorkto LA, LA to New York, I'll just
leave my shit on airplane modeand just like enjoy the silence.
There's something weird aboutbeing in a plane because it's
like the compression and the, italmost feels like you're frozen
in time for a second.
The fresh, fresh oxygen.

(50:42):
Yeah.
So, and they also say you'remore emotional when you're on a
flight because the altitude andwhatnot.
It's the last time, this is thelast time I cried, honestly,
like that.
The minute the internet cameback on, My phone just got
reception and I just gotbombarded with texts from my
family, my brother, my father,my mother.
And it was all the same texts.
Classic hood family doesn't knowhow to address emotional

(51:06):
moments.
They're like, yo, call me whenyou have a moment.
But they all said the same shit.
So I was like, oh, something badhappened.
And then I just hit one of mytiti gorda.
I hit my aunt.
And she was like, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, baby.
But grandma passed away on aflight.

SPEAKER_01 (51:23):
thing

SPEAKER_00 (51:24):
going to puerto rico her blood pressure she cut like
i think she was on bloodthinners and whatnot and she
couldn't fly but every wintershe would go back to the island
because she because new york isfucking freezing cold and that
was her deal and and they toldher not to do it and she did it
but she did it every year likeit was quiet and i was supposed
to go with her that year and ijust chose to go to work and

(51:46):
honestly bro that shitdevastated me because I still
think about it now.
Like in my mind, my grandmotheris still in a little ass
apartment complex in 46thStreet, Sunset, Brooklyn.
And I could go visit herwhenever, but she's not around
no more.
And what goes with her is allthe memories and the knowledge
that she had about what wassacrificed to put my father on

(52:09):
and her kids on so they could bein a position to have kids in
the United States so we couldbecome what we want to become.
And I think a part of me diedthat day because I know I can
never get that back.
So I guess in some weird way,I've prioritized talking to my,
I think I've shown you, I havevideos of my mom's mother and my

(52:30):
grandmother who is an absoluteboss and a legend.
Just asking her questions abouthow my mother grew up and
whatnot.
And now I have all those videossaved.
And to me, that's a mistake Iwould never make again.
And professionally,competitively, I just read a
whole bunch of biographies nowon great people and people who
failed.
Last thing I'll say on the thirdpoint, I study failure as much

(52:53):
as I study success because Ithink there's more to be gained
from failure.
The margin between the silvermedal and the gold medal, that
little space that you lost by isa space that you should be
studying because that's how goodyou got to get in order to
become a gold medalist.
And you got to go beyond that.
But I think there's something tobe studied and that's fun for me
when you fail.
I've been reading Steve Jobs'autobiography on the only

(53:17):
company that was a catastrophicfailure for Steve Jobs because
we like to give him a lot ofcredit.
It's the one loss on his fuckingMMA resume.
And that was when he designedthe company Next after he was
fired from Apple.
And Next was literally one ofthe worst projects as far as
money invested versus moneyreturned in technology history.

(53:40):
But nobody ever talks about itbecause Steve Jobs, you know,
Steve Jobs highlights are likeMichael Jordan highlights.
But that was his 45 year.
He was the worst version ofhimself that year.
He was running off of pride,ego.
He had bad debt.
He was just taking people'smoney because everybody was
giving him because he was thegolden child.
He was cocky as fuck.

(54:01):
He was intolerable.
His product was trash.
He was selling to the wrongpeople.
Everything.
I'm talking about you could do adegree based on how much could
be learned from one of thegreatest minds putting out one
of the worst products ever.
So that's something that made methink of number three for things
I wish I knew sooner, which wasstudy failure as much as you

(54:24):
study success, because there's alot more to be learned from what
some of the most boldest andcourageous people have failed
from.
Damn.
I love that.
Kind of hard to follow up.
Yeah, bro.
I don't, I don't, I don't knowif you, I don't know if you
would, um, if you would readthe, the next, uh, by, oh yeah,
it's really, it's everythingthat we, everything we don't

(54:46):
know about Steve Jobs in that.

SPEAKER_01 (54:47):
Yeah.
All his worst traits.
I definitely seen the biographyand I know about next and he
lost a lot of money.
And then

SPEAKER_00 (54:57):
there's two of them though.
Which, which one did you see?
The one that was, uh, with thedude who did punk.
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (55:05):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (55:06):
Yeah, that's the one where he gets fired from Apple.
Yeah, yeah.
That was a good one.
Damn, bro.
That was really good.
Well, I mean, I told you thefucking story of my grandmother.
That's a real personal moment.
It's a tough one to follow.
I know.
I know.
I mean, I...
Did I have a tough one?
No, no.
It's the first time I'm hearingit.
Honestly, if you were to ask meon my deathbed what's one of

(55:29):
your regrets, that's probablythe only one that I could think
of, bro.
Ever.
I don't regret a lot.
That one...
That one, that one bothers me.
Cause it was like, it's likesand.
I had it and it, and it wentthrough my hands and I can't get
it back.

SPEAKER_01 (55:42):
Yeah.
And unfortunately, man, thoseare one of those life
experiences that you have to gothrough to then learn.
Like you would never do thatagain.
You know what I mean?
Like,

SPEAKER_00 (55:53):
see now that that's why now when I have to travel
for work, I always try to like,I went back to New York and New
Jersey to see my father and mymother.
last week.
That's why I ran into Rich and Igot to meet his family.
I always make a stop to stay twodays in New York to see my pops
and my father's side of thefamily.
And I always spend time onEdgewater, which is where my mom

(56:17):
lives, not too far fromManhattan.
It's like a 10-minute bus ridefrom Manhattan.
And I stay in a hotel right bythe Edgewater so I could hang
out with my mother and mybrother and his side of the
family, their side of thefamily.
And I wasn't like that before.
I was very interested in me andonly me, but that shit happened

(56:39):
when my grandma fucked me up.
I don't OD on visiting family.
I'm not that type of guy.
I got to see them every week,but I always make time when the
time presents itself.

SPEAKER_01 (56:49):
That's beautiful, bro.
I'm going on a vacation.
next month to DR.
And I was just going to gostraight to the resorts.
And I'm like, nah, like myfamily got to meet my daughter.
They got to meet my girl.
So I'll make, I'm making a stopat my grandma's, which is super
inconvenient.
Cause it's like three hours fromthe resort.

(57:10):
And like, I got to enter thecountry with one airport leave
out of another.
So it's a whole much moreboatload of money.
It's inconvenient, but I'm like,Bro, money I could get back.
I could work back whatever moneyI lost.
I could get the time back forwhatever inconvenience.

(57:30):
What I can't get back is like mydaughter meeting her
great-grandmother, right?
Like my girl meeting mygrandmother while she's still
alive, you know?
Wait, I actually

SPEAKER_00 (57:41):
have your number four because I know you enough
that we could build off of this.
Value your time spent withpeople you love.
Don't overvalue money.
Because money is money.
Money, once you have it, you cando certain things with it.
Like you can't fly to DR withyour family without money.
But what you do with the moneyis important.
The time you spend is important.

(58:02):
And I mean, there was a versionof you that was very invested in
your career and just being likeonly focused 10 hours, 12 hours.
Yeah.
I don't feel that version fromyou.
You know, like I feel there's abalance.

SPEAKER_01 (58:13):
There's definitely a balance.
And I think what I've learnedover time is that the number one
currency is time, bro.
Like, that's what we're allfighting for.
You know what I mean?
Like, more time with family,more great moments, right?
Like, I think, not to be somber,but at 37, 39 years old, if a

(58:38):
human being's life expectancy is70 years, 80 years, we're
probably halfway through.
That's a fact.
We're probably halfway through,right?
So, now you're like,reevaluating, okay, this is what
the last 39, 40 years wereabout.
Hopefully I got another 40.
I want these next 40 to be thistype of way.

(58:59):
Right.
And I think when, when you get,it's kind of like the, what do
they call it?
The midlife crisis.
But like, once you realize thatyou don't have as much time as
you think you had, you start tooperate a little differently and
time becomes your new currency.

SPEAKER_00 (59:15):
That's a

SPEAKER_01 (59:15):
fact.
Yeah.
I think, as long as I'm doingwhat I love, as long as I'm
around the people that I want tobe around, as long as I'm
learning, as long as I'm stillprogressing and moving forward,
I've already superseded everysingle sort of metric that I've
placed for myself, except ofcourse, the ultimate like

(59:36):
monetary value.

SPEAKER_00 (59:39):
Yeah.
I got like multimillionaire.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (59:43):
I got like two of those rings.
I don't know.
I'm missing three more, but Butyou know what, bro?
I'm in love.
I think what I've realized, anda lot of the self-development
books that we've read throughoutthe years talk about this, is
fall in love with the process.
Fall in love with the journey.
The end result, the outcome, thecash out, that shit will come.

(01:00:07):
But you can't want that momentto be here and not have gone
through the journey that is A,through why you know what i mean
like to get to the z right so inthe journey we're probably you
know fgm like we're halfwaythere right like you got money

(01:00:29):
we got successful careers wehave an education like you know
we have properties like there'sa lot of things we've already
done in the last 37 39 years umbut you know not now we know we
got the second half of our livesand And, you know, we're falling
in love with the journey.

(01:00:49):
Like, in building this podcast,right, like, we've always had
plays, but this is the one sortof play where we both have
money, which is scary, right?
Because it's like, all right, wegot to throw X amount of dollars
into this.
All right, done.

SPEAKER_00 (01:01:05):
You know what I mean?
Because our money is getting usour time back.
We're like, go edit that.
Yeah.
I don't want to edit it.
Go, go.
I don't want to create a logo.
Yeah.
Yeah, right.
That's valid.
But that's the luxury affordedto people that put in that work
on the first half of their life.
I do believe that.
When you start listening to oldmen in their 70s playing

(01:01:26):
dominoes, just sitting aroundall day, they might be giving
advice good for a 70-year-old.
But in order to be comfortable,healthy, happy, house,
grandkids, you set the tone forgenerations to come.
I don't ever want to sleep onthat wheel, and I would never
want to misguide our communityon what it is that gets you that
golden blue chip status amongstyour family.

(01:01:49):
So when they fucking bury youand your residual income from
your investments in your stockportfolio, pay for your
beautiful funeral and all themoney that everybody's going to
get after you're gone, it reallycomes from the work you put in.
But as you get closer to sunsetand that beautiful sky, you
start appreciating it more.

(01:02:09):
I don't want to disagree on yourpoints.
I just want to give a caveat.
Because we're talking to youngpeople.
We're not talking to people intheir 40s.
Yeah, yeah.
Work hard.
Bust your ass.
Carve your name into stone.
You know what I mean?
Like, don't just be on someKumbaya fucking Tim Ferriss
four-hour work week shit at 18.
It's like, bro, you haven't doneanything.
You know what I mean?
Like, why do you need avacation?

(01:02:30):
I'm confused.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Anyway, sorry.
It was getting too Kumbaya.
I just want to be clear.
Rich busts his ass to get here.

SPEAKER_01 (01:02:39):
For sure.
For sure.
Yeah.
You're hearing the sort of likeend result of like where we are
today.
Yeah.
But it's funny.
I was, I was on a Uber rideyesterday and, uh, I saw the
dude had the Dominican flags onhis key chain.
So I was like, Oh, you'reDominican.
He's like, no, I'm Columbia, butmy wife is Dominican.
So he pops off, right.
He gave me this whole life storyand the 10 minute ride.

(01:03:01):
Um, but there was one line thatstuck out to me cause he was a
very, he happened to be like aprofessor.
And he said he had kids backhome, 13 and 15, and he's
educating them, and he wantsthem to have a better life.
And his advice to them, and hesaid it in Spanish, but I'm
like, damn, that's a bar.
It was like, he said, the besttasting food you ever had has

(01:03:25):
always been cooked on low heatand for a long time.
And I was like, damn, that's abar.

UNKNOWN (01:03:32):
Wow.

SPEAKER_02 (01:03:32):
damn

SPEAKER_01 (01:03:35):
I love that so he was like he was telling his kids
like take your time buildwhatever it is you want to do
like figure it out but likedon't rush it you know because
you're going to rush it you'regoing to be misguided like bro
take your time you want to learnwhatever it is you want to learn
right even when we went tocollege right like you can't

(01:03:58):
rush your way through four yearsto get a degree right you got to
take your time you got to takeit one homework assignment at a
time, one test at a time, onesemester at a time, one year at
a time.
So that was his feedback to hiskids.
But the way he said it inSpanish, I was like, damn,
that's a bar.

SPEAKER_00 (01:04:13):
Say it in Spanish.
We need to hear the bars.
Give me the setup and say it inSpanish.

SPEAKER_01 (01:04:18):
He said, la mejor comida se cocina largo y fuego
lento.
And you were in the

SPEAKER_00 (01:04:26):
Uber.

SPEAKER_01 (01:04:27):
Yeah, I was like, damn, that's a bar.

UNKNOWN (01:04:29):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (01:04:30):
Wait, how did that come about though?
Like where the conversation camefrom?

SPEAKER_01 (01:04:35):
So it came from the key chain.
I thought he was Dominican.
It was his wife was Dominican.
Then, you know, every Uberdriver, if you pry enough, they
tell you the whole life story.
So he told me he had two kids inColumbia, but that even though
he's not there, he stillFaceTimes them.
He reads them books.
He teaches them aboutself-development.
And so I thought that wasbeautiful.

(01:04:56):
I like connected, you know, withhim in that aspect.
But when he said that line,which, by the way, I'm going to
tie back everything to the firstthing we spoke about, which was,
bro, I was so open-minded enoughto talk to an Uber driver, and
he gave me a nugget.
And I was like, damn, that's abar.

(01:05:17):
I'm going to keep that in mypocket.
Old Rich would have never evenspoke to him.
Bro, I don't want to talk tothis Uber driver.
This guy's driving a taxi.
What can he teach me?
New Rich is like, I just learnedsomething from an Uber driver.
I didn't go to college.
I didn't go to YouTube.
I didn't go to an audible audiobook.

(01:05:37):
I didn't look at a SteveJobs-like biography.
I learned it from a random dudedriving Uber.

SPEAKER_00 (01:05:46):
You know what I'm saying?
That's a fact, bro.
Everyday people have real shitto teach, bro.
Because they're living in it.
They're in the water.
They're trying to figure it out.

SPEAKER_02 (01:05:56):
Yeah,

SPEAKER_00 (01:05:56):
yeah.
I

SPEAKER_01 (01:05:57):
like the low heat.
He said the best tasting foodyou'll ever have is cooked on
low heat for a long time.
And it's true, bro.
In Spanish culture, right?
Like if you're making like acarne asada, pollo asada.
Hell yeah.
You put that thing on low heator even a crock pot, bro.

SPEAKER_00 (01:06:15):
I bet it takes 12 fucking hours to cook.
For real.
How delicious is that?
You're letting them flavors getacquainted with each other.
They're living with each other.
You're letting that pork getreal tender.
Yeah,

SPEAKER_01 (01:06:30):
ribs too.
Anything delicious, slowroasted, it's like...

SPEAKER_00 (01:06:35):
So that's it.
That's our fifth one.
We'll have to do a part two tothis.

SPEAKER_02 (01:06:39):
We'll

SPEAKER_00 (01:06:39):
have to do a part two, another five.
This was actually a fun onebecause the take your time being
the number five is important.
And it does relate to the otherones where you're saying like,
sometimes take your AirPods off,take your headphones off, and
just understand that the worldaround you, the people that are
actually living around you,they're living in the same world

(01:07:01):
you live in.
And if they are not successfulin your eyes, and they may seem
like a failure in your eyes,somebody that doesn't have it
together, there's probably moreto be learned from that person
than someone that was rich at 15years old, 16 years old.
YouTube star gets rich off of,gains wealth off of one crypto

(01:07:23):
stock.
We fall in love with thesestories of child prodigies or
young people that...
I work in a business where a lotof young people make a lot of
money quick.
Obviously, you invest in a lotof things, but crypto is
something that you keep your eyeon.
And That's another businesswhere a lot of young people get
rich quick.
We both hung out in LA.

(01:07:45):
You see a lot of young peopledriving Ferraris, Lambos, going
to the nicest restaurants.
But what can truly be gainedfrom them, I'm not knocking it,
you can definitely learnsomething.
But you're saying that samelevel of information, if not
more, can be gained from someonethat is living a more simpler
life, that didn't necessarilymaybe achieve everything they

(01:08:07):
wanted, but In that gap betweenthe gold medal and the silver
medal, which is their life, theyfound some truth in how to cope
with it or some information theycould share with you.
That guy's life was obviouslynot everything he wanted it to
be, but between the silver andthe gold, he was able to give
you a piece of information like,hey, I can't be everywhere at
once, but you know what?

(01:08:27):
I do what I can or what I have.
And you know what?
Some of the best food in theworld that you'd have never had
cooks on low, so don't try to gocrazy all the time because you
might not make it.
And that's incredible.
To me, that translates into staylow and keep firing.
You know what I mean?
As long as you're staying in thegame, you have a possibility of

(01:08:49):
winning the game.
And that was another something Iwish I knew sooner, which I know
now, and I would love to pass onto our community, which is
there's something beautifulabout finding a little pocket or
something that you're very, veryinterested in that you feel like
it's pulling you towards it.
And it doesn't have to be likesomething that is like a vanity

(01:09:11):
thing or a status thing.
It could just be somethingnatural.
I've always known thatcommunicating and speaking and
like being interested in eithergaining knowledge or giving
knowledge is something thatalways came very natural to my
family.
My dad would be gone off the,gone off the yee and alcohol.

(01:09:32):
And he could sit at a table,bro, and me and my nieces and my
nephews and my cousins, we wouldjust sit and listen to my dad.
He was basically like a prophet,bro, like a pastor, just
teaching us about shit in lifethat we are like 12, 10, 9, 5
years old.
We have no business listening tothe real life shit that my dad
is teaching us.

(01:09:52):
But that level of sharing ofinformation definitely raised me
to be way more wiser than a lotof people I grew up with.
shit is probably the reason whyI don't drink and smoke.
I never have before.
Cause I, I knew from histeachings, like, Hey, even
though I'm doing it type shit,like don't be like me.
It's not easy being me.

(01:10:12):
Don't you be yourself.
You know what I mean?
And to me, that level ofcuriosity always led me down a
road, which I'm happy that Ifound my profession and I'm
happy we're doing this.
Cause I think there is somethingto be said about finding
something you're passionateabout, finding something you're
interested in, and just chippingaway at it daily.
You know what I mean?
Like low heat, but consistency.

(01:10:34):
Keep firing, stay low, keepfiring, show up, find your
little edge, find the edge inthe competitive field of a
million things to do.
Even for your son right now, I'msure he's curious on what makes
him him and what could it bedoing and what's a career path
for him or what is he curiousabout?
Just find your edge, bro.
Find your passion, somethingthat piques your curiosity and

(01:10:56):
Just stick with it, man.
It's not always going to be theway it started, but it's ironic
that Rich and I started with amedia company.
It was like the first realofficial business that we
started in.
And 20 years later, we circleevery block, pursue our own
careers, start our own families,live in different states across
the map.
And here we are, back to a mediacompany.

(01:11:18):
You get what I'm saying?
Like, we didn't veer very farfrom what we started at.
So, you know, embrace yourcuriosity, man, and just find a
little lane to master and go atit.
I love it, bro.
Yeah, I think we're done here,bro.

SPEAKER_01 (01:11:36):
And there you have it, Failures Podcast.
We're not your gods.
We don't claim to be your gurus.
Just two regular guys in theirlate 30s dedicating a platform
to help young men find their ownpath by learning from our
failures.
Follow us on all platforms atFailures Media and share this
episode with anyone you knowneeds to hear this.
All right, y'all.
Peace.