May 27, 2025 • 28 mins
In this episode of Faith Over Fear: The Christian Pregnancy & Birth Podcast, I'm sharing a practical but powerful tool for your birth journey—creating effective birth preferences that serve as a communication tool for your entire birth team. Rather than focusing on controlling every aspect of birth, this approach creates clarity and unity while honoring God's ultimate plan. Whether you're preparing for your first birth, hoping to have more input in your birth experience, or simply wanting to feel more prepared, this step-by-step guide will help you approach birth with both wisdom and surrender.
In this episode, I share:
📋 Why I prefer "birth preferences" over "birth plans" and the biblical wisdom behind this mindset
✔️ Essential categories to consider from before labor begins through postpartum care
🎶 Practical comfort measures including my favorite essential oils and music recommendations
🗣️ How to communicate your preferences clearly while still holding them with open hands
👶 Personal stories and lessons from my own births with Ellie and Daniel
Scripture Shared: "Many are the plans in the mind of a man, but it is the purpose of the Lord that will stand." – Proverbs 19:21
A Prayer for You: I close this episode by praying over you as you prepare for your baby's birth. May you find wisdom in preparation, peace in surrender, and confidence knowing that God goes before you, beside you, and covers you with His unfailing love throughout your birth journey.
Mentioned in this episode:
📚 Christian Mama Birth Prep Library: Free Birth Preferences Checklist, worship playlists & more
☑️ Birth Ball Sizing Guide: Check out my Instagram post about proper birth ball sizing
✝️ Online Christian Childbirth Education: Explore my complete birth preparation self-paced course
If this episode encouraged you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with a friend. Let's keep choosing faith over fear, one birth story at a time. Go here for the full blog post, show notes, and all resources mentioned!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Natalie Portman (00:45):
Hello there, sweet friend, and welcome back
to Faith Over Fear, theChristian Pregnancy and Birth
podcast.
Today we're diving intosomething super practical but
also incredibly powerful when itcomes to preparing for birth.
Today we're talking about birthpreferences, sometimes called a
birth plan, but I really like tothink about it more as a
(01:05):
communication tool because trulythis isn't about controlling how
birth unfolds, but aboutcreating clarity and unity with
your birth team, whether that'syour OB midwife, doula, the
nurse that's there, and yourhusband or whoever else is gonna
be a part of the labor and birthexperience.
(01:25):
Having a birth preferenceschecklist can help you feel more
prepared and peace filledknowing that you've thought
through the key decisions aheadof time, and that the people
supporting you understand yourheart, your hopes, and your
priorities.
In this episode, I'll walk youthrough some of the categories I
recommend thinking about fromyour environment during labor to
(01:47):
comfort measures, monitoringnewborn procedures, and even
some less common situations wedon't always want to think
about, but are still worthpraying through and planning
for.
And if you haven't alreadydownloaded the birth preferences
checklist, it's waiting for youinside the Christian Mama birth
prep library, which you can signup for at faithoverfearbirth.com
(02:10):
or by clicking the link intoday's show notes.
It's totally free and it's abeautiful resource to help you
fill out everything withconfidence and clarity.
Alright, so let's jump in.
The first category I have listedis before labor begins.
And so there's a couple optionshere.
You can wait for spontaneouslabor, which most of us are
(02:33):
probably gonna be in thiscategory.
And then you can also, choose toinduce labor, which that could
be based on.
Logistical preferences such asyour husband is deployed and you
wanna try and have him be therefor the birth.
So there could be, socialfactors at play.
(02:53):
There could also be medicalfactors at play.
Your baby is showing signs thatthey're not doing as well.
Or you start having some signsthat.
It would be better for you tonot be pregnant anymore.
So in that case, having aninduction is gonna be the better
option instead of just waitingfor labor to begin
spontaneously.
(03:15):
A way for some moms who want tohave a spontaneous labor and say
they're at their due date orthey're starting to get close to
41 42 weeks, it just depends onyour provider's protocols.
How.
Long, they will kind of let youstay pregnant.
But one way you can help preventthe need for an induction is to
(03:39):
have a membrane sweep.
And in episode three, I go intomore detail about what a
membrane sweep is and how thatcan maybe help get labor going.
But a membrane sweep is anoption potentially depending on
your provider.
And how far along you are.
To help reduce the risk ofneeding an induction because it
may help start laborspontaneously ahead of an
(04:02):
induction that is scheduled.
So that's some of the optionsfor before labor begins.
The next category is fetalmonitoring.
So no matter where you're givingbirth home, birth center,
hospital, there will be somedegree of fetal monitoring In a
hospital, it's more typical tosee continuous monitoring, which
(04:27):
means.
From the time you get admitteduntil the time the baby is born,
you will have some form of fetalmonitor on your belly, and
sometimes there's an option fora wireless monitor and this just
depends on your hospital andwhat they have available.
(04:50):
But it's always worth askingahead of time if wireless
monitoring is an option becausewireless allows you to move more
freely around the room andchange positions.
I find as a doula that when wehave a mom that has continuous
monitors, the wired classickind, it's.
(05:14):
Very sensitive to where on yourbelly it is.
And baby's position.
And if baby moves or you movepositions, that monitor will not
pick up the heart tones anymore.
And it can be a littlefrustrating because then the
nurse has to come in andreadjust constantly, especially
if mom is moving around a lot.
(05:35):
So if you have an option forwireless continuous monitoring,
that is a great solution.
The other option is to haveintermittent monitoring.
And what this typically lookslike is you will be monitored
for 20 consecutive minutes, andthen for 40 minutes you have no
(05:56):
monitoring whatsoever, and then20 minutes back on 40 minutes,
no monitoring.
And this is.
A great option if you and yourbaby are considered low risk.
So again, this just depends onyour provider, their preference,
and also how you and baby aredoing if this is an option for
you.
(06:17):
The next category is painmedications.
So if you know ahead of time youdo not want to have an epidural,
you don't want IV painmedications or nitrous oxide.
Check no pain medications asyour preference.
And then the next option is, ofcourse, getting an epidural.
If you know ahead of time thatyou would like to labor for as
(06:41):
long as you want or you can, andthen get the epidural check next
to epidural if that is what youwould like.
The next thing is IV painmedications and IV pain
medications.
You're not getting a shot oryou're not taking an oral pill.
This is medication they pushthrough your iv.
And nitrous oxide is havinglaughing gas.
(07:05):
If you've ever had dental workdone laughing gas can, it
doesn't necessarily take awaypain.
It really just takes away howmuch you care about pain.
So those are those more typicalpain medication options.
And so if you know ahead of timethat you would like to explore
those.
Go for it.
Check off the things that youwant.
(07:27):
Inside of my childbirtheducation course, I go into much
more detail about the risks andbenefits of all of these
different options, but this isjust kind of a brief overview of
what your pain medicationoptions are for labor.
The next category is comfortmeasures.
So this is non-medicationoptions for dealing with the
(07:49):
intensity of labor and birth.
So one of the very common waysto comfort you in labor is to
just use massage.
And this doesn't need to be deeptissue massage.
This can just be gently havingsomebody stroke your arms, your
back, your legs, whatever youneed to just facilitate
(08:12):
relaxation in your body because.
Most of us tend to tense up whenwe're experiencing pain, so it's
really helpful to have thatgentle touch to help remind you
to relax.
Another thing I love to bring tobirths is essential oils.
My favorites are peppermint andlavender, but I also bring with
(08:36):
me frankincense.
A couple citrus oils, like Ihave lemon and orange.
Use.
Whatever you find relaxing andhelpful, say you hate the smell
of peppermint oil, then don'tbring peppermint oil there's a
good chance you will not reallycure for it in labor as well.
So just bring essential oilsthat you like that help
(08:57):
facilitate a relaxingenvironment for you.
Peppermint oil is also wonderfulif you're feeling nauseous.
And again, if you can toleratethat smell, low lighting is such
a simple way to change theenvironment that you're in.
I even recommend having somesort of starry night light
(09:20):
projector or LED candles orboth.
Those are again, great optionsto just set the ambiance of
relaxation for your labor andbirth.
If you are at a facility,whether it be a hospital, birth
center where you have access toa tub whether that be like a
(09:40):
blowup tub, some have, fullblown actual tubs.
And then same with birthcenters.
There's a couple differentoptions there, but getting into
water hydrotherapy is a greatoption and if a tub isn't
available, a shower is alsofantastic.
If you are the kind of personwhere taking a relaxing shower
(10:01):
or bath is helpful, you willmore than likely find that also
helpful when you are laboring.
The next is music and I have aworship labor playlist inside of
the Christian Mama birth preplibrary.
But choose songs that aremeaningful to you whether that
be worship music or some songsfrom your wedding.
(10:24):
Something that just fills youwith joy and peace and calm.
Those are the songs that youwould want to be playing during
your labor.
Make a labor playlist ahead oftime.
You want it to be several hourslong, because think about how
long labor might be and youdon't wanna hear the same five
songs over and over again.
(10:45):
You will be sick of those songsand never wanna hear them again.
Make a very long labor playlistand I even chose to make my
labor playlist well ahead oftime and I would just play that
labor playlist when I would getready for work or do whatever.
And it was a great way for me tojust meditate and pray as I
anticipated hearing these songsin labor.
(11:08):
Another really simple option forcomfort measures is having a
birth ball, and I recommendactually getting a birth ball,
not a yoga ball.
And the difference between thetwo is birth balls are made with
much higher quality material andthey're anti birst.
So say for some reason your.
(11:29):
Sitting on your birth ball andit bumps into a sharp corner,
it's not gonna just completelydeflate and be dangerous for
you.
Plus you want that birth ball tobe nice, strong, and sturdy to
be the correct height.
So find a birth ball.
Amazon has a ton.
And I'll link one of myfavorites in the show notes.
But find a birth ball that isthe correct height for you.
(11:51):
I even have a social media posttalking about birth ball height
that's appropriate, so I'll linkthat post in the show notes as
well.
Having a peanut ball, which ifyou've never heard of a peanut
ball, it is a ball shaped like apeanut.
It's a similar material to thebirth ball, and that's a great
option for laboring with anepidural because it helps keep
(12:16):
the pelvis open depending onwhere you have it in between
your legs.
And you can also sit on it likeyou're straddling a horse.
And that's a great option evenif you are, medicated or
unmedicated to be able to justkind of rest your legs, but get
in, say a hands and kneesposition.
So peanut balls are incredibleand such a great simple tool.
(12:38):
Another thing you can request,especially if you're giving
birth in a hospital, is a squatbar.
And what's funny is I haverequested squat bars when I'm at
a birth, and sometimes thenurses don't even realize that
they have squat bars thatconnect into the labor and
delivery bed.
So ask around for that.
Say, is there a squat bar that'savailable?
(12:58):
And it literally just connectsinto the bed.
And that's a great option forgetting into a deep squat
position without.
Having to hold yourself upcompletely in that position.
The next category is perinealcare.
So this refers to during thepushing stage, so not just, you
know, randomly when you'relaboring, but when you're
(13:19):
pushing your baby the perineum,which is the space between your
vaginal and anal opening.
This is the, area that willstretch tremendously as the baby
is being born, but there can bea really intense stretching
sensation in that area.
And so there's two options asways to help during that stage.
(13:42):
The first is very simple.
Having warm compress.
So this is something that thenurse can do that the doula can
do.
And even your partner can dothis is get a couple washcloths
and a little basin of warm tohot water and put the warm wash
cloths in the water, wring itout.
(14:03):
Not all the way, but just enoughto where it's not like sopping
and place that.
On the perineum and what it doesis that warmth helps relax the
perineum.
It also helps draw more blood tothat area, which helps the
stretching of the perineum andhelps reduce the instance of
(14:26):
tearing during the delivery.
That's a really low interventionway to help with that process.
Another thing you can do is haveyour provider massage or
lubricate your perineum with oiland.
I have unfortunately seen someproviders overdo this massage.
(14:48):
They massage way tooaggressively.
And if you, especially if you'reunmedicated speak up.
If it becomes too much, if theprovider is massaging too
aggressively or too much, justsay something like, I, I don't
wanna be massaged anymore.
Thank you.
And it just needs to be assimple as that.
It doesn't have to be this wholeordeal.
You don't need to justifyyourself.
(15:10):
And then the other thing thatI've seen is providers use baby
shampoo as lubrication, which ifyou.
I would even recommend you puton your birth preferences
checklist that you do not wantshampoo used as lubrication, and
you can bring your own oliveoil, coconut oil something other
(15:31):
than shampoo to use aslubrication if they want to use
lubrication.
We don't use.
Soap in our vagina because itdestroys the good microbiome,
which is one of the benefits ofhaving a vaginal delivery is
baby gets introduced with thevaginal microbiome, which helps
their skin, their internalmicrobiome.
(15:53):
And so we don't wanna destroythat with soap.
So using coconut oil, olive oil,something like that is a great
option.
So bring your own, if you'reconcerned that your provider
might use.
Shampoo, which you can just askabout what they typically use
for lubrication, if anything.
The next category is umbilicalcord and placenta.
Once you have delivered the babyyour placenta will remain inside
(16:17):
you.
It depends on for how long, butusually, within 30 minutes
you'll deliver the placenta, andyou can have your partner.
Cut the umbilical cord if that'swhat he would like to do.
And you can also request delayedcord clamping.
This has become much more commonpractice but I would definitely
(16:39):
look into the benefits ofdelayed cord clamping.
What it's essentially doing isthe blood that is.
In the placenta will then pumpto the baby and give baby all of
the blood that it really needsand oxygen that it needs.
And so if you are requestingdelayed cord clamping, just make
(17:00):
sure that your provider eitheris already doing that standard
or that you can request that.
There's a couple differentdefinitions of delayed cord
clamping.
Some providers consider that 30seconds, 60 seconds, and they
have a specific timeframe forthat, and then other providers
will wait until the cord has.
(17:20):
Stopped pulsating, meaning thatblood from the placenta is done
transferring to the baby.
And that's usually what I wouldrecommend is wait until that
umbilical cord stops pulsating.
And so just mark as such, ifthat's what you would prefer.
The next is cord blood banking.
And if you plan to do cord bloodbanking, let your provider know
(17:43):
because they will need tocollect cord blood at the time
of delivery.
I actually have yet to have aclient that does cord blood
banking.
If you're interested in that, Iwould look into that a little
bit more but it is, veryexpensive to privately store
cord blood.
But for some families that mightbe worth it.
The next is placentaencapsulation.
(18:05):
If you plan to encapsulate yourplacenta you will need to
usually have a separate.
Cooler ready to go so that onceyou leave the birth center or
the hospital, you can take yourplacenta with you in a little
cooler.
The benefits of placentaencapsulation are more
(18:26):
anecdotal.
There's not a ton of studies outthere about placenta
encapsulation.
I personally encapsulated myplacenta with my first birth,
and then I didn't do it with mysecond.
And I did feel like there weresome benefits to placenta
encapsulation, but there's alsosome drawbacks.
It depends on, the person who isencapsulating your placenta,
(18:49):
they need to be handling itproperly.
If they don't, there's a, riskfor infection and other things
that are just harmful to you andyour baby.
So if you decide you would liketo do placenta encapsulation,
just make sure you're doing agood amount of research on who
you plan to encapsulate yourplacenta and just make sure that
the practices they use, thestandards they have for
(19:10):
encapsulating are highstandards.
The next is newborn procedures.
So if you know ahead of time youdo not wanna have newborn
procedures check no proceduresthere.
Typical procedures are eyeointment, vitamin K shot, and
hepatitis B shot.
(19:31):
And then if you're having a boycircumcision is another common
newborn procedure depending onwhere you're giving birth or
your Provider's practice.
You may have the option to do acircumcision inside the hospital
or birth center or wherever oryou may have to schedule a
separate appointment for that.
I really recommend doingresearch about these ahead of
(19:54):
just opting to do them.
I'll put some links for the prosand cons of common newborn
procedures.
But again, just make sure you'redoing some research ahead of
time.
The next category is feeding thebaby.
So breast milk formula acombination.
Just make sure that you areindicating with your provider
(20:16):
and the team what yourpreference is.
If you plan to formula feed,they will have formula there.
But if you know ahead of timethat you want a certain specific
formula, bring that with you tothe hospital or a birth center.
And if you plan to breastfeed,bring like a nursing pillow.
(20:37):
And then you can also of courseuse hospital pillows and things
to kind of help make yourselfcomfortable.
And if you do plan tobreastfeed.
I highly recommend doingresearch ahead of time.
And sometimes you can evenschedule a lactation consultant
visit ahead of even givingbirth, so while you're pregnant,
(20:58):
you can even meet with alactation consultant and then if
you have strong feelings aboutpacifiers some moms do, some
don't.
My general recommendation is totry and avoid pacifiers in those
first three to six weeks.
Babies can get nipple confusion,and so if you're trying to
breastfeed, but you're alsogiving a pacifier.
(21:18):
It's almost like your baby istrying to learn two languages at
once, and so it might be easierfor them to just be introduced
to just the breast nipple.
And once three to six weeks havepassed or breastfeeding is well
established, then you canintroduce a pacifier.
I.
If you plan to give birth in ahospital, there are often
(21:39):
lactation consultants that willbe available at some point while
you're staying there.
And so request a lactationconsultant as soon as possible.
Some lactation consultants arethere 24 7.
Others come very specific hoursduring the day, so check and see
what your birthplace has asoptions for.
(22:01):
Scheduling a visit with alactation consultant The last
category I have listed for thebirth preferences checklist is
special requests.
If you would like to have photosand videos of the labor and
birth, make sure you designatesomebody specifically for that,
whether that be your doula, yourpartner.
(22:21):
A friend or if you want to havea professional come and video
and or take photographs of thelabor and birth.
I wish so much that I had morevideos and pictures of my first
labor with Ellie and forDaniel's birth I did have a
professional photographer, andthose photos and videos from
(22:43):
both births mean the world tome.
If you're kind of on the fenceabout whether or not you want to
have documentation of that.
But you're kind of leaning onthe side of, I think that would
be nice to have.
Definitely have somebody thereto take those videos and
pictures because if you do wantthem but you don't have somebody
lined up for that, you will beso sad because that moment has
(23:05):
passed.
And say you do think you mightwant them, somebody takes videos
and pictures, but you don't wantto see them.
You can delete them and pretendthey never existed.
Something to think about andplan ahead for.
As we wrap up this episode, Iwant to encourage you with a
verse that I think is just soperfect.
(23:26):
It's Proverbs 19:21, and itsays, many are the plans and the
mind of a man, but it is thepurpose of the Lord that will
stand.
And I just love this wisdom.
I think it's so appropriate tothink through the plans that you
have, think through yourpreferences, and that's really
(23:48):
why I don't call it a birthplan.
I really try to intentionallyframe it as birth preferences
because plans seem so rigid,whereas.
You can make known yourpreferences.
Like I would prefer to not havean epidural, or I would prefer
to have intermittent monitoring,and that puts less pressure on
(24:12):
the plan so that you can.
Go into your experience and youfeel informed and you've thought
through what you would like tohave happen, but you're also not
holding so tightly to your plansthat if it doesn't happen,
you're hard on yourself, thatthings didn't go according to
(24:34):
plan.
Does that make sense?
And I hope that you'reencouraged by Proverbs where
it's talking about.
Yes, we have many plans becausewe want what's best, but when we
trust in the Lord that he willestablish his perfect plan, even
if it's different than what wehad planned, that he is still
(24:55):
good and he is still loving whenhe allows things to unfold
differently than how we plannedit to be.
I'd love to close this episodewith a prayer.
Dear Jesus, I thank you so muchfor the Mama listening right
now.
You see her heart and her hopesand her plans as she prepares
(25:17):
for the birth of this baby.
Lord, I pray that you wouldremind her today that while
planning is wise, your purposewill stand and that is a good
and beautiful thing.
Lord Jesus, I pray that youwould fill her with peace I pray
that you would let her feel yournearness in this moment, in this
(25:37):
season, especially for theunknowns.
Give her wisdom in makingdecisions and clarity and
communicating these things withher birth team.
And when the time comes for herbaby to enter this world, I pray
that she is filled withstrength, joy, and a deep
confidence.
Not in herself, but in you.
Lord, thank you so much that youare going before her.
(26:01):
You are beside her and you arecovering her with your unfailing
love.
It's in name I pray, amen.
So I hope this was a practicalepisode for you, and I hope you
tune in next week for aninterview I have with Crystal
Doiron.
She is a clinical social workerand mama, and she and I have a,
(26:23):
really powerful conversationabout mental health.
And ways to prepare for,pregnancy and birth and the
postpartum season in regards tomental health.
So I hope you tune in next weekfor that.
Hello there, sweet friend, and welcome back
to Faith Over Fear, theChristian Pregnancy and Birth
podcast.
Today we're diving intosomething super practical but
also incredibly powerful when itcomes to preparing for birth.
Today we're talking about birthpreferences, sometimes called a
birth plan, but I really like tothink about it more as a
(01:05):
communication tool because trulythis isn't about controlling how
birth unfolds, but aboutcreating clarity and unity with
your birth team, whether that'syour OB midwife, doula, the
nurse that's there, and yourhusband or whoever else is gonna
be a part of the labor and birthexperience.
(01:25):
Having a birth preferenceschecklist can help you feel more
prepared and peace filledknowing that you've thought
through the key decisions aheadof time, and that the people
supporting you understand yourheart, your hopes, and your
priorities.
In this episode, I'll walk youthrough some of the categories I
recommend thinking about fromyour environment during labor to
(01:47):
comfort measures, monitoringnewborn procedures, and even
some less common situations wedon't always want to think
about, but are still worthpraying through and planning
for.
And if you haven't alreadydownloaded the birth preferences
checklist, it's waiting for youinside the Christian Mama birth
prep library, which you can signup for at faithoverfearbirth.com
(02:10):
or by clicking the link intoday's show notes.
It's totally free and it's abeautiful resource to help you
fill out everything withconfidence and clarity.
Alright, so let's jump in.
The first category I have listedis before labor begins.
And so there's a couple optionshere.
You can wait for spontaneouslabor, which most of us are
(02:33):
probably gonna be in thiscategory.
And then you can also, choose toinduce labor, which that could
be based on.
Logistical preferences such asyour husband is deployed and you
wanna try and have him be therefor the birth.
So there could be, socialfactors at play.
(02:53):
There could also be medicalfactors at play.
Your baby is showing signs thatthey're not doing as well.
Or you start having some signsthat.
It would be better for you tonot be pregnant anymore.
So in that case, having aninduction is gonna be the better
option instead of just waitingfor labor to begin
spontaneously.
(03:15):
A way for some moms who want tohave a spontaneous labor and say
they're at their due date orthey're starting to get close to
41 42 weeks, it just depends onyour provider's protocols.
How.
Long, they will kind of let youstay pregnant.
But one way you can help preventthe need for an induction is to
(03:39):
have a membrane sweep.
And in episode three, I go intomore detail about what a
membrane sweep is and how thatcan maybe help get labor going.
But a membrane sweep is anoption potentially depending on
your provider.
And how far along you are.
To help reduce the risk ofneeding an induction because it
may help start laborspontaneously ahead of an
(04:02):
induction that is scheduled.
So that's some of the optionsfor before labor begins.
The next category is fetalmonitoring.
So no matter where you're givingbirth home, birth center,
hospital, there will be somedegree of fetal monitoring In a
hospital, it's more typical tosee continuous monitoring, which
(04:27):
means.
From the time you get admitteduntil the time the baby is born,
you will have some form of fetalmonitor on your belly, and
sometimes there's an option fora wireless monitor and this just
depends on your hospital andwhat they have available.
(04:50):
But it's always worth askingahead of time if wireless
monitoring is an option becausewireless allows you to move more
freely around the room andchange positions.
I find as a doula that when wehave a mom that has continuous
monitors, the wired classickind, it's.
(05:14):
Very sensitive to where on yourbelly it is.
And baby's position.
And if baby moves or you movepositions, that monitor will not
pick up the heart tones anymore.
And it can be a littlefrustrating because then the
nurse has to come in andreadjust constantly, especially
if mom is moving around a lot.
(05:35):
So if you have an option forwireless continuous monitoring,
that is a great solution.
The other option is to haveintermittent monitoring.
And what this typically lookslike is you will be monitored
for 20 consecutive minutes, andthen for 40 minutes you have no
(05:56):
monitoring whatsoever, and then20 minutes back on 40 minutes,
no monitoring.
And this is.
A great option if you and yourbaby are considered low risk.
So again, this just depends onyour provider, their preference,
and also how you and baby aredoing if this is an option for
you.
(06:17):
The next category is painmedications.
So if you know ahead of time youdo not want to have an epidural,
you don't want IV painmedications or nitrous oxide.
Check no pain medications asyour preference.
And then the next option is, ofcourse, getting an epidural.
If you know ahead of time thatyou would like to labor for as
(06:41):
long as you want or you can, andthen get the epidural check next
to epidural if that is what youwould like.
The next thing is IV painmedications and IV pain
medications.
You're not getting a shot oryou're not taking an oral pill.
This is medication they pushthrough your iv.
And nitrous oxide is havinglaughing gas.
(07:05):
If you've ever had dental workdone laughing gas can, it
doesn't necessarily take awaypain.
It really just takes away howmuch you care about pain.
So those are those more typicalpain medication options.
And so if you know ahead of timethat you would like to explore
those.
Go for it.
Check off the things that youwant.
(07:27):
Inside of my childbirtheducation course, I go into much
more detail about the risks andbenefits of all of these
different options, but this isjust kind of a brief overview of
what your pain medicationoptions are for labor.
The next category is comfortmeasures.
So this is non-medicationoptions for dealing with the
(07:49):
intensity of labor and birth.
So one of the very common waysto comfort you in labor is to
just use massage.
And this doesn't need to be deeptissue massage.
This can just be gently havingsomebody stroke your arms, your
back, your legs, whatever youneed to just facilitate
(08:12):
relaxation in your body because.
Most of us tend to tense up whenwe're experiencing pain, so it's
really helpful to have thatgentle touch to help remind you
to relax.
Another thing I love to bring tobirths is essential oils.
My favorites are peppermint andlavender, but I also bring with
(08:36):
me frankincense.
A couple citrus oils, like Ihave lemon and orange.
Use.
Whatever you find relaxing andhelpful, say you hate the smell
of peppermint oil, then don'tbring peppermint oil there's a
good chance you will not reallycure for it in labor as well.
So just bring essential oilsthat you like that help
(08:57):
facilitate a relaxingenvironment for you.
Peppermint oil is also wonderfulif you're feeling nauseous.
And again, if you can toleratethat smell, low lighting is such
a simple way to change theenvironment that you're in.
I even recommend having somesort of starry night light
(09:20):
projector or LED candles orboth.
Those are again, great optionsto just set the ambiance of
relaxation for your labor andbirth.
If you are at a facility,whether it be a hospital, birth
center where you have access toa tub whether that be like a
(09:40):
blowup tub, some have, fullblown actual tubs.
And then same with birthcenters.
There's a couple differentoptions there, but getting into
water hydrotherapy is a greatoption and if a tub isn't
available, a shower is alsofantastic.
If you are the kind of personwhere taking a relaxing shower
(10:01):
or bath is helpful, you willmore than likely find that also
helpful when you are laboring.
The next is music and I have aworship labor playlist inside of
the Christian Mama birth preplibrary.
But choose songs that aremeaningful to you whether that
be worship music or some songsfrom your wedding.
(10:24):
Something that just fills youwith joy and peace and calm.
Those are the songs that youwould want to be playing during
your labor.
Make a labor playlist ahead oftime.
You want it to be several hourslong, because think about how
long labor might be and youdon't wanna hear the same five
songs over and over again.
(10:45):
You will be sick of those songsand never wanna hear them again.
Make a very long labor playlistand I even chose to make my
labor playlist well ahead oftime and I would just play that
labor playlist when I would getready for work or do whatever.
And it was a great way for me tojust meditate and pray as I
anticipated hearing these songsin labor.
(11:08):
Another really simple option forcomfort measures is having a
birth ball, and I recommendactually getting a birth ball,
not a yoga ball.
And the difference between thetwo is birth balls are made with
much higher quality material andthey're anti birst.
So say for some reason your.
(11:29):
Sitting on your birth ball andit bumps into a sharp corner,
it's not gonna just completelydeflate and be dangerous for
you.
Plus you want that birth ball tobe nice, strong, and sturdy to
be the correct height.
So find a birth ball.
Amazon has a ton.
And I'll link one of myfavorites in the show notes.
But find a birth ball that isthe correct height for you.
(11:51):
I even have a social media posttalking about birth ball height
that's appropriate, so I'll linkthat post in the show notes as
well.
Having a peanut ball, which ifyou've never heard of a peanut
ball, it is a ball shaped like apeanut.
It's a similar material to thebirth ball, and that's a great
option for laboring with anepidural because it helps keep
(12:16):
the pelvis open depending onwhere you have it in between
your legs.
And you can also sit on it likeyou're straddling a horse.
And that's a great option evenif you are, medicated or
unmedicated to be able to justkind of rest your legs, but get
in, say a hands and kneesposition.
So peanut balls are incredibleand such a great simple tool.
(12:38):
Another thing you can request,especially if you're giving
birth in a hospital, is a squatbar.
And what's funny is I haverequested squat bars when I'm at
a birth, and sometimes thenurses don't even realize that
they have squat bars thatconnect into the labor and
delivery bed.
So ask around for that.
Say, is there a squat bar that'savailable?
(12:58):
And it literally just connectsinto the bed.
And that's a great option forgetting into a deep squat
position without.
Having to hold yourself upcompletely in that position.
The next category is perinealcare.
So this refers to during thepushing stage, so not just, you
know, randomly when you'relaboring, but when you're
(13:19):
pushing your baby the perineum,which is the space between your
vaginal and anal opening.
This is the, area that willstretch tremendously as the baby
is being born, but there can bea really intense stretching
sensation in that area.
And so there's two options asways to help during that stage.
(13:42):
The first is very simple.
Having warm compress.
So this is something that thenurse can do that the doula can
do.
And even your partner can dothis is get a couple washcloths
and a little basin of warm tohot water and put the warm wash
cloths in the water, wring itout.
(14:03):
Not all the way, but just enoughto where it's not like sopping
and place that.
On the perineum and what it doesis that warmth helps relax the
perineum.
It also helps draw more blood tothat area, which helps the
stretching of the perineum andhelps reduce the instance of
(14:26):
tearing during the delivery.
That's a really low interventionway to help with that process.
Another thing you can do is haveyour provider massage or
lubricate your perineum with oiland.
I have unfortunately seen someproviders overdo this massage.
(14:48):
They massage way tooaggressively.
And if you, especially if you'reunmedicated speak up.
If it becomes too much, if theprovider is massaging too
aggressively or too much, justsay something like, I, I don't
wanna be massaged anymore.
Thank you.
And it just needs to be assimple as that.
It doesn't have to be this wholeordeal.
You don't need to justifyyourself.
(15:10):
And then the other thing thatI've seen is providers use baby
shampoo as lubrication, which ifyou.
I would even recommend you puton your birth preferences
checklist that you do not wantshampoo used as lubrication, and
you can bring your own oliveoil, coconut oil something other
(15:31):
than shampoo to use aslubrication if they want to use
lubrication.
We don't use.
Soap in our vagina because itdestroys the good microbiome,
which is one of the benefits ofhaving a vaginal delivery is
baby gets introduced with thevaginal microbiome, which helps
their skin, their internalmicrobiome.
(15:53):
And so we don't wanna destroythat with soap.
So using coconut oil, olive oil,something like that is a great
option.
So bring your own, if you'reconcerned that your provider
might use.
Shampoo, which you can just askabout what they typically use
for lubrication, if anything.
The next category is umbilicalcord and placenta.
Once you have delivered the babyyour placenta will remain inside
(16:17):
you.
It depends on for how long, butusually, within 30 minutes
you'll deliver the placenta, andyou can have your partner.
Cut the umbilical cord if that'swhat he would like to do.
And you can also request delayedcord clamping.
This has become much more commonpractice but I would definitely
(16:39):
look into the benefits ofdelayed cord clamping.
What it's essentially doing isthe blood that is.
In the placenta will then pumpto the baby and give baby all of
the blood that it really needsand oxygen that it needs.
And so if you are requestingdelayed cord clamping, just make
(17:00):
sure that your provider eitheris already doing that standard
or that you can request that.
There's a couple differentdefinitions of delayed cord
clamping.
Some providers consider that 30seconds, 60 seconds, and they
have a specific timeframe forthat, and then other providers
will wait until the cord has.
(17:20):
Stopped pulsating, meaning thatblood from the placenta is done
transferring to the baby.
And that's usually what I wouldrecommend is wait until that
umbilical cord stops pulsating.
And so just mark as such, ifthat's what you would prefer.
The next is cord blood banking.
And if you plan to do cord bloodbanking, let your provider know
(17:43):
because they will need tocollect cord blood at the time
of delivery.
I actually have yet to have aclient that does cord blood
banking.
If you're interested in that, Iwould look into that a little
bit more but it is, veryexpensive to privately store
cord blood.
But for some families that mightbe worth it.
The next is placentaencapsulation.
(18:05):
If you plan to encapsulate yourplacenta you will need to
usually have a separate.
Cooler ready to go so that onceyou leave the birth center or
the hospital, you can take yourplacenta with you in a little
cooler.
The benefits of placentaencapsulation are more
(18:26):
anecdotal.
There's not a ton of studies outthere about placenta
encapsulation.
I personally encapsulated myplacenta with my first birth,
and then I didn't do it with mysecond.
And I did feel like there weresome benefits to placenta
encapsulation, but there's alsosome drawbacks.
It depends on, the person who isencapsulating your placenta,
(18:49):
they need to be handling itproperly.
If they don't, there's a, riskfor infection and other things
that are just harmful to you andyour baby.
So if you decide you would liketo do placenta encapsulation,
just make sure you're doing agood amount of research on who
you plan to encapsulate yourplacenta and just make sure that
the practices they use, thestandards they have for
(19:10):
encapsulating are highstandards.
The next is newborn procedures.
So if you know ahead of time youdo not wanna have newborn
procedures check no proceduresthere.
Typical procedures are eyeointment, vitamin K shot, and
hepatitis B shot.
(19:31):
And then if you're having a boycircumcision is another common
newborn procedure depending onwhere you're giving birth or
your Provider's practice.
You may have the option to do acircumcision inside the hospital
or birth center or wherever oryou may have to schedule a
separate appointment for that.
I really recommend doingresearch about these ahead of
(19:54):
just opting to do them.
I'll put some links for the prosand cons of common newborn
procedures.
But again, just make sure you'redoing some research ahead of
time.
The next category is feeding thebaby.
So breast milk formula acombination.
Just make sure that you areindicating with your provider
(20:16):
and the team what yourpreference is.
If you plan to formula feed,they will have formula there.
But if you know ahead of timethat you want a certain specific
formula, bring that with you tothe hospital or a birth center.
And if you plan to breastfeed,bring like a nursing pillow.
(20:37):
And then you can also of courseuse hospital pillows and things
to kind of help make yourselfcomfortable.
And if you do plan tobreastfeed.
I highly recommend doingresearch ahead of time.
And sometimes you can evenschedule a lactation consultant
visit ahead of even givingbirth, so while you're pregnant,
(20:58):
you can even meet with alactation consultant and then if
you have strong feelings aboutpacifiers some moms do, some
don't.
My general recommendation is totry and avoid pacifiers in those
first three to six weeks.
Babies can get nipple confusion,and so if you're trying to
breastfeed, but you're alsogiving a pacifier.
(21:18):
It's almost like your baby istrying to learn two languages at
once, and so it might be easierfor them to just be introduced
to just the breast nipple.
And once three to six weeks havepassed or breastfeeding is well
established, then you canintroduce a pacifier.
I.
If you plan to give birth in ahospital, there are often
(21:39):
lactation consultants that willbe available at some point while
you're staying there.
And so request a lactationconsultant as soon as possible.
Some lactation consultants arethere 24 7.
Others come very specific hoursduring the day, so check and see
what your birthplace has asoptions for.
(22:01):
Scheduling a visit with alactation consultant The last
category I have listed for thebirth preferences checklist is
special requests.
If you would like to have photosand videos of the labor and
birth, make sure you designatesomebody specifically for that,
whether that be your doula, yourpartner.
(22:21):
A friend or if you want to havea professional come and video
and or take photographs of thelabor and birth.
I wish so much that I had morevideos and pictures of my first
labor with Ellie and forDaniel's birth I did have a
professional photographer, andthose photos and videos from
(22:43):
both births mean the world tome.
If you're kind of on the fenceabout whether or not you want to
have documentation of that.
But you're kind of leaning onthe side of, I think that would
be nice to have.
Definitely have somebody thereto take those videos and
pictures because if you do wantthem but you don't have somebody
lined up for that, you will beso sad because that moment has
(23:05):
passed.
And say you do think you mightwant them, somebody takes videos
and pictures, but you don't wantto see them.
You can delete them and pretendthey never existed.
Something to think about andplan ahead for.
As we wrap up this episode, Iwant to encourage you with a
verse that I think is just soperfect.
(23:26):
It's Proverbs 19:21, and itsays, many are the plans and the
mind of a man, but it is thepurpose of the Lord that will
stand.
And I just love this wisdom.
I think it's so appropriate tothink through the plans that you
have, think through yourpreferences, and that's really
(23:48):
why I don't call it a birthplan.
I really try to intentionallyframe it as birth preferences
because plans seem so rigid,whereas.
You can make known yourpreferences.
Like I would prefer to not havean epidural, or I would prefer
to have intermittent monitoring,and that puts less pressure on
(24:12):
the plan so that you can.
Go into your experience and youfeel informed and you've thought
through what you would like tohave happen, but you're also not
holding so tightly to your plansthat if it doesn't happen,
you're hard on yourself, thatthings didn't go according to
(24:34):
plan.
Does that make sense?
And I hope that you'reencouraged by Proverbs where
it's talking about.
Yes, we have many plans becausewe want what's best, but when we
trust in the Lord that he willestablish his perfect plan, even
if it's different than what wehad planned, that he is still
(24:55):
good and he is still loving whenhe allows things to unfold
differently than how we plannedit to be.
I'd love to close this episodewith a prayer.
Dear Jesus, I thank you so muchfor the Mama listening right
now.
You see her heart and her hopesand her plans as she prepares
(25:17):
for the birth of this baby.
Lord, I pray that you wouldremind her today that while
planning is wise, your purposewill stand and that is a good
and beautiful thing.
Lord Jesus, I pray that youwould fill her with peace I pray
that you would let her feel yournearness in this moment, in this
(25:37):
season, especially for theunknowns.
Give her wisdom in makingdecisions and clarity and
communicating these things withher birth team.
And when the time comes for herbaby to enter this world, I pray
that she is filled withstrength, joy, and a deep
confidence.
Not in herself, but in you.
Lord, thank you so much that youare going before her.
(26:01):
You are beside her and you arecovering her with your unfailing
love.
It's in name I pray, amen.
So I hope this was a practicalepisode for you, and I hope you
tune in next week for aninterview I have with Crystal
Doiron.
She is a clinical social workerand mama, and she and I have a,
(26:23):
really powerful conversationabout mental health.
And ways to prepare for,pregnancy and birth and the
postpartum season in regards tomental health.
So I hope you tune in next weekfor that.
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