Doing Mathematics With Schizophrenia

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What does it mean to pursue a career in advanced mathematics while experiencing the profound challenges of paranoid schizophrenia? Drawing from her extraordinary personal journey, Diana Dirkby takes us behind the curtain of her dual life as an internationally recognized mathematician and a person navigating the complex reality of serious mental illness.

This raw, enlightening conversation explores the fascinating parallels between Diana's experience and that of mathematical genius John Nash, immortalized in "A Beautiful Mind." Diana describes her unique cognitive challenges—particularly the "word soup" that floods her mind during episodes—and reveals the ingenious strategies she developed to sustain her academic career despite these obstacles. From writing lectures verbatim in blue ink (never black) to maximizing productive work during periods of mental clarity, her practical approaches offer valuable insights for anyone facing similar challenges.

Beyond her personal story, Diana tackles misconceptions about both mathematics and schizophrenia. She eloquently explains how mathematics continues to evolve through human inquiry and research, using Fermat's Last Theorem as a compelling example. With compassion born from experience, she offers guidance to parents whose bright children receive schizophrenia diagnoses, emphasizing that while compromise is necessary, fulfilling lives and meaningful achievements remain possible with proper support and treatment.

Diana's message resonates with hope and pragmatism: success with schizophrenia requires acceptance, management, and support—but it is absolutely possible. Whether you're personally affected by mental illness, love someone who is, or simply seek to understand the remarkable resilience of the human spirit, this episode offers profound wisdom about finding clarity amidst chaos and pursuing intellectual passion despite seemingly insurmountable odds. Subscribe now to join this important conversation about triumph over adversity and the power of compromise in achieving meaningful success.

You can check out a basic, minimal website I made about my mathematics at https://aussiemathematician.io/. 

Here are my other website and social media credentials: 

https://dianadirkbywrites.com

 My Instagram: @dianadirkby_writings (https://www.instagram.com/dianadirkby_writings/)

My Facebook Page: Diana Dirkby Writings (https://www.facebook.com/DianaDirkbyAuthor)

My X-account: @dianadirkby (https://x.com/DianaDirkby)

My YouTube channel @Diana DirkbyWrites (https://www.youtube.com/@DianaDirkbyWrites)

#schizophrenia #college #university #mathematics #mentalhealth #family #relationships #SameHere #girlsdomath

Episode Transcript

Diana (00:08):
Hello, I'm Diana Dirkby, writing in Life's Chaos, and the
title of this episode is DoingMathematics with Schizophrenia.
As you know, I live withparanoid schizophrenia, so you
may wonder how I earned a livingdoing research in and teaching
mathematics in universities formany years before retiring to be

(00:31):
a fiction writer.
This leads to the question howcan I coherently write whether
it's mathematics or fictionwhile living with schizophrenia
?
Schizophrenia and mathematicswere themes of director Ron
Howard's 2001 movie A BeautifulMind, starring Russell Crowe and

(00:54):
winning many awards, includingthe Academy Award for Best
Picture.
You'll know about the latemathematician John Nash if
you've seen it.
He lived with severeschizophrenia, but he was also a
genius in mathematics, earningthe 1994 Nobel Prize for the

(01:15):
impact of his mathematicalresearch on economics.
On a personal note, John Nashlived in Princeton for many
years, as did my spouse, who gotto know him quite well.
I also often talked to JohnNash and our conversations were
pleasant.
He was always open about how helived with schizophrenia.

(01:37):
So, yes, with enough talent,which is required whether you
live with a mental illness ornot, you can do mathematics and
live with schizophrenia.
I worked as a researchmathematician in France and a
university professor in the USAfor many years, building a

(01:57):
respectable, internationallyrecognised career.
I published mathematics undermy real name, Paula Tretkoff.
Diana Dirkby is the pen name formy novels.
What is paranoid schizophrenia?
My first audio podcast,Schizophrenia As I Live It
provides many details.

(02:18):
In previous episodes of thispodcast I included other
references, such as the book byE.
Fuller Torrey my book, theOverlife by Diana Dirkby.
Schizophrenia will remain one ofthe many themes in this podcast
series.
So again, what is paranoidschizophrenia?

(02:39):
Since we haven't yet addressedit in this podcast series, let
me provide a brief explanationof paranoid schizophrenia.
Please bear in mind that thisis only a rough guide, as each
person living with schizophreniaexperiences it in their unique
way.
Here is a short description,ending with a note of hope.

(03:02):
Paranoid schizophrenia is asubtype of schizophrenia
characterized by intensedelusions and hallucinations,
often centered around themes ofpersecution, conspiracy or
grandeur.
Individuals may believe theyare being targeted, spied on or

(03:23):
threatened, which leads toextreme mistrust and anxiety.
Auditory hallucinations, suchas hearing voices, are common.
Symptoms can impair dailyfunctioning, but with treatment,
typically antipsychotics andtherapy, many manage their
condition effectively.

(03:43):
People with schizophrenia areno more dangerous than any other
sector of society.
This description serves as agood summary, but each person
living with schizophreniauniquely experiences their
illness.
I face significant linguisticchallenges when I am unwell with

(04:05):
schizophrenia, it feels like ajumble of words occupies my mind
, making managing my daydifficult and consuming much of
my energy.
Doctors often refer to thissymptom as word soup.

(04:27):
.
Comparing my experiences withmathematics to my fiction
writing, I approached the latterwith the perspective of an
older person who has gained muchmore knowledge about my illness
than when I was activelyemployed as a mathematician.
Additionally, I have asupportive spouse to assist me.
Earning a living doingmathematics was the greater
miracle.
My mathematical path was morecomplicated as I cared for my

(04:50):
mother, who lived with paranoidschizophrenia but refused to
acknowledge it, a conditionknown as anosognosia.
Looking after my mother untilshe died in 1992, well before I
retired from mathematics, towrite fiction consumed the bulk
of my time and effort.
Such a situation is experiencedby the characters Sarah and

(05:14):
Jodie in my book The Overlife byDiana Dirkby.
Many people ask me how can youresearch mathematics?
Isn't it just there, a valuabletechnical skill for scientific
endeavors?
Well, it's there because we putit there.
Humans made mathematics, notsome all-powerful mystical

(05:37):
entity.
It is not a priori inside ourminds.
We must learn it frommathematics teachers, who must
also know it from a teacher or abook.
Okay, so we make math.
How can you research it?
Don't we know everything aboutit by now?
This assumption is far fromtrue.

(05:59):
We can ask questions about themathematics we have.
We know questions that wecannot answer using logical
arguments and currentmathematics.
A famous example is Fermat'sLast Theorem, which asks is
Fermat's mathematical challenge,made around 1637 by Pierre de

(06:20):
Fermat, true or false?
I won't go into the mathematics.
Wikipedia explains it well, ifyou look up Fermat's last
theorem.
The brilliant mathematicianAndrew Wiles answered this
question only in the mid-1990s.
Many tried, but only Wilessucceeded.
Again, look it up on Wikipediafor details.

(06:43):
It's a simple statement thatFermat seemed to believe he
understood, but mathematiciansnow think Fermat made an error
in that belief.
I am not a mathematician likeJohn Nash and Andrew Wiles.
These people are geniuses.
Even though my career was morehumble, it was still appreciated

(07:05):
by the internationalmathematical community.
However, I cannot manage aschizophrenic psychotic episode,
endure the hallucinations andalso do mathematics.
Even now, with good medicationand therapy, along with my
husband's support, I have dayswhen I cannot think clearly.

(07:26):
The keys are compromise andmanagement.
I do not doubt that I wouldhave had a better research
career in mathematics withoutcontending with both my mother's
schizophrenia and my own.
I had to accept that compromiseas part of caring for my health
and my mother's.

(07:47):
I had to learn not to be bitterbut to be grateful that I could
still manage to succeed.
Often the parents of young,brilliant children meet a
diagnosis of their child'sschizophrenia as tragic news.
They feel it is the end of theprojected successful career of

(08:07):
their son or daughter.
They are correct to be alarmed.
Someone diagnosed withschizophrenia must find the
proper medication and therapy.
They also have to deal withcompromise.
The prognosis may have changeddue to schizophrenia, but their
child can still be happy andfulfilled if they accept a

(08:29):
degree of compromise.
The parents mustn't pressuretheir child to get back to how
they were, as that is likelyimpossible.
A lot of time and effort isneeded to manage their child's
day so they can get the maximumfunctionality out of it.
The first thing on the agendamust always be finding a good

(08:51):
psychiatrist and psychologist sosomeone with schizophrenia can
get on track with medication andtherapy.
If they have to delay theirentrance to college by a few
years, it's worth it.
You can make it through collegewith schizophrenia, but you may
need to talk with an advisorand mentor, if you think it will

(09:11):
take more time than usual dueto your illnes.
Make sure to join your localNAMI National Alliance on Mental
Illness support group so youhave friends with similar
problems and the help of thestaff at your local NAMI.
Don't be afraid to compromise.
Also, don't hold back insharing with others, including

(09:34):
your family or roommate, thatyou need to manage your work
time as a function of yourschizophrenia.
You need to work during thebest times in your day, when you
feel the least tired and themost clear-headed.
As a working mathematician, Ilearned to work hard during
times of clarity and rest duringword soup.

(09:56):
It meant that a research goalwas often not achieved as
quickly as I had hoped, but thecompromise and management helped
to keep me healthy for myteaching duties.
I wrote down my lectures wordfor word in blue ink.
I have a problem with black inkwhen I am ill.
Even on bad days, I couldmostly carry off my lecture

(10:27):
because all I had to do was lookat my notes.
Some days went better thanothers.
I knew I would never be ateacher who could inspire my
students without a script.
I was popular with the studentsbut was not a good mentor, as I
was always afraid I mightmisunderstand a student relying

(10:47):
on non-mathematical support andadvice.
Thank you for listening to orwatching this episode.
Please remember to subscribe tomy channel, sign up for
notifications and like myrecordings or videos if you like
them.
You can check out a basic,minimal website I made about my

(11:08):
mathematics at www.
AussieMathematician.
io (see below).
You can check out my otherwebsites too, the website for my
books, and also the websitesfor my social media.

(11:30):
So thank you very much and Ihope you tune in next time as I
talk about writing in life'schaos:.
Fractured Ink.