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April 21, 2025 20 mins


🔥 EPISODE SNAPSHOT

No one has ever hated themselves into healing.
 Yet for so many, shame has become the default strategy for breaking free from porn.

Here’s the truth:
 Shame doesn’t heal you.
 Shame doesn’t change you.
 Shame just makes you feel worse.

In this episode, Richard and Justin unpack why shame feels powerful—but never produces lasting transformation. You’ll hear powerful (and vulnerable) stories of how shame led to deeper bondage, even when it should’ve been the final straw.

And more importantly—you’ll hear what actually does lead to real, permanent change.


🧠 WHAT YOU’LL LEARN

  • Why shame-based transformation always fails—even when it looks like it’s working


  • How the gospel reframes your value before you ever get it “right”


  • The difference between behavior modification and mind renewal


  • How to replace the question “What’s wrong with me?” with “What am I believing?”


  • Why God’s love is the only power strong enough to lead to lasting repentance



💥 QUOTABLE MOMENTS

“Shame is like drinking salt water—it just makes you thirstier.”

“The cross wasn’t proof that God hates sin. It’s proof that God values you.”

“Your Father isn’t watching to catch you failing—He’s in the pool with you, arms outstretched.”


💡 BIG IDEA:

Shame leads to cycles. Kindness leads to repentance.
 That’s not our opinion—it’s Romans 2:4.
 If you want freedom, stop using the enemy’s tools. Start trusting your Father’s love.


🛠️ PRACTICAL TAKEAWAY

  • Shame leads to hiding.


  • Hiding leads to habits.


  • But truth? Truth sets you free.


Use the two-step practice from this episode:

  1. Identify the lie (e.g., “I’m broken. I’m too far gone.”)


  2. Replace it with truth (e.g., “I am a beloved child of God. I’ve been set free.”)


You’ll also be guided through a powerful closing prayer to help you start this shift today.

@riyoung31

richard@lovereality.org

@jkhoe

hello@justinkhoe.com


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