February 27, 2025 • 45 mins
Scarlett Davis
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email: FutureSingleLady@gmail.com
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(00:00):
Are you looking for someentertainment?
Little bit of drama.
Do you have some tea that you'dlike to spill?
Are you waiting for me to spillthe tea?
Well, then you're in the rightplace.
This is the future.
Single lady surviving andthriving through divorce I went
through a divorce.
What are you going through?
(00:21):
Gimme a call.
Holler at me.
Future single lady@gmail.com orgo to my Facebook page, future
Single Lady.
I'm Scarlett Davis and this isme telling my story.
It's just for entertainmentpurposes and whether you just
wanna laugh at me, yell at me,scream at me, or commiserate
with me, have sympathy andempathy.
(00:41):
That's fine.
let's get together, let's hangout.
what I thought, what I felt,what I was going through.
This is me documenting myjourney and what I went through
as I fought and clawed my waythrough divorce.
Sometimes it was smooth sailingand that was, that was great,
but sometimes those seas gotvery turbulent.
(01:02):
So that's it.
Okay, so I gotta try a differentposture because, um, I have to
be up and moving aroundcontinuing on filling in the
gaps.
And I'll be honest, I'm lookingforward to, um, when this is
(01:26):
done and we can just get towhatever's going on in the
moment, but there's aboutanother month.
Of this.
So I hope you've enjoyed wherewe've been filling in the gaps,
not just with the journalinjuries, but also with some of
the backstory.
I just think it's reallyimportant to have a more
complete picture of what's goingon.
(01:48):
I think that we've all can thinkof many examples that we've seen
in the past where things lookedone way, but then when you had
more information.
For, for the things thathappened just before then, then
it's a completely differentstory.
I think we've seen this in thenews.
The first thing that came to mymind, um, specifically, there
(02:12):
were, there were other things,but specifically the first real
example I could think of was themovie, I think it's Dolores
Claiborne.
It's a Kathy Bates movie, and Ithink Jessica Tandy was the
woman in it.
With her.
It starts off one way and thenwe'll just say that it puts, um,
Kathy Bates' character.
Framed in a really bad light.
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But then once you know thebackstory, it is a completely
different story.
So if you have all of theinformation, you are better
suited to make a moreappropriate judgment.
And of course, this is a 20 yearrelationship, so you're not
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gonna have 20 years worth ofinformation.
But hopefully knowing certainkey things will, um, will give
you a more informed position.
Anyway, we're continuing on,this is February 27th and this
is my journal entry from,actually, there are two of them
(03:17):
from February 27th, 2024.
I was too tired to write lastnight.
Glad I got lots of stuff cookedand to spend time with my
babies'.
Happy face.
They were a little complimentaryover the seven can soup,
supposed butter, rice, and notso much.
Oh, supposed butter rice, not somuch.
(03:39):
And chicken was, but I got lotscooked.
Husband called the kids to checkin, but really he's asking about
what I'm doing.
That's okay because I'm sureit's overall good reasons rather
than information gathering.
Also, I pray he sees that I canand do cook.
(04:01):
But have held back because he'sinsisted on dominating more than
Frito Pie and Chee Chili.
I can cook exclamation work andhappy face.
Anywho son asked someone to takehis shift since he's still tired
from the long shifts thisweekend.
So I nabbed another US nightsince daughter also didn't have
(04:22):
police explorers either.
Happy Face, they chose Raya andthe last dragon.
What do I love most about thatmovie?
That one person sees that lifecan be better for all and does
something about it while thereends up being conflict and great
darkness, sadness, and struggle,what ends up is better than
anything they could haveimagined before.
(04:44):
Not only are all joined togetheras de as desired in Kuman, but
dragons are back bright,colorful, blessed dragons and
their incredible magic.
This is what I seek from my lifeand I know it's happening.
I receive this and I apply anduse it all for the greatest.
(05:05):
Good.
Thank you.
Thank you, God.
Jury duty today.
I must get ready.
Daughter and I game planned lastnight, and both kids know that I
haven't gotten this stuff out ofthe living room because my
plans.
It got shifted when I had to gointo React mode and had to do
(05:26):
things not planned.
Instead, I think they knowanyway.
She volunteered to take picturesfor me, which would be a huge
help and they may food savorsome stuff for me too.
Happy face meals are cooked sowe can chill a bit more.
I hope they unload thedishwasher.
Dr.
Stone's book came in yesterday.
(05:48):
Happy phase.
I keep wondering if I can readit at jury duty, but I know
that's not realistic.
Do me always wanting to do stuffdouble time, but it's not
realistic.
God telling me to chill.
I guess that was the morning'sentry.
There's an afternoon one, uh, orevening one as well.
I'm just gonna go ahead andexplain on some of these things
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a little bit.
So as I had said before.
In the first couple of weeks.
It really, in about the firstmonth of asking for a divorce,
my soon to be ex-husband spent alot of time away from the house,
as in, out of town for a week ortwo.
Um, and so he was, like I said,he, he became father of the
(06:33):
year.
And he was always calling tocheck in with the kids, but he
was always asking really.
It wasn't like, Hey kids, howare you doing?
How was your day?
Or whatever.
There might be a question or twolike that, but mostly he wanted
to know what was going on in thehouse.
So that's fine.
I don't blame him for it becausethe information that he was
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getting was that I was cookingand on this particular night,
uh, or the night before.
On the 26th, I was doing a lotof cooking, so I like to batch
cook instead of making a mess, alittle bit of a mess every day,
or a medium sized mess everyday.
I would rather do a lot ofcooking at once while I'm in
that mode and that energetic andmindset and everything, and then
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be easy about it later on.
Uh, just warm up some stuff orif it needs to be warmed up or
just go grab a few bites ofwhatever it is that, that I
want.
But definitely to have the foodon hand already done because
I've also learned that theharder I have to work to feed
myself, the more likely I am toget something quick and easy,
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which is probably, um, dirtier.
Like it's, it's gonna be morejunk foodie.
So.
Yeah, and I, as you can seethrough this, I would rather
have quality time with mybabies, with my loved ones, or
even just with myself than to bespending all day in the kitchen.
(08:03):
So basically, I had tried outthree different recipes.
There was, uh, one of my friendshad given me this recipe years
earlier, and it was just calledseven Canned Soup.
So there was, it was literally asoup made with seven cans of
stuff as well as some chicken.
And I forget what all else.
Turns out that it's actuallyvery similar to something else
that I was cooking already.
(08:24):
And, um, this was, this waspretty decent.
It was not bad.
I will be honest.
I, I like what I cook betterthat, um, what we call teeters
chili.
And I'm wondering if I shouldput these, these recipes.
Uh, in the show notes so thatyou can decide for yourself.
I also had a recipe for some,some butter rice, but, and
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that's why I called it supposedbutter rice because, um, it
wasn't, wasn't like what, whatI, I would think of as, as that,
but it wasn't bad.
And, and if I recall correctly,I think maybe we even mixed it
with the soup.
I don't recall.
(09:09):
Also, there was something that Idecided to try with some, some
chicken drumsticks.
I had bought a package at thestore and I cooked half the
package.
Was trying to just put somethingtogether, just explore mentally,
um, with or with some thingsthat I had going on, mentally
thinking that, that it mightwork out.
It, uh, note it did not workout, uh, the way I had had
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thought that it would.
And that's okay.
The thing is that I tried, Idefinitely got mocked for it.
Isn't that interesting?
Yeah, and and I don't mean likethe big mocking, I just mean
like she did what really?
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And how was that kind of thing.
Because you know, that's what aninsecure person is, which
honestly.
Is what a narcissist is.
Really, A narcissist is aninsecure person.
They, it comes off as thisincredible belief in themselves
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that they're so amazing, butreally I think it's extreme
insecurity where they're like,yes, I am awesome.
I am amazing.
Right?
Right.
They need outward confirmationof how awesome they think that
they are.
And if you need outwardconfirmation, then maybe you're
(10:38):
not as confident and secure asyou think you are.
Isn't that kind of ironic?
Hmm.
Uh, it all kind of makes methink if one of the, one of my
favorite movies growing up, andI still love it, and I, and I
think about it, is the neverending story.
(10:58):
And you'll hear me referencethis many times, but.
In the end, when Sebastian makesit to the Oracle, one of the
tests that he has to face is themirror, I think.
I think it's called the mirrorof truth or something.
I, I don't know.
Um, actually it's not Sebastian,it's reu, but turns out that a
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REU is Sebastian, and Sebastianis a reu.
The mirror of truth reflectswhat someone.
It truly is how they truly are.
So atray you, the warrior, whenhe looked in the mirror, he was
actually the cowardly Sebastianand the cowardly Sebastian was
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actually the incredible renownedwarrior.
Isn't that interesting?
So that makes me ask of youright now, who are you?
Who do you think.
You are.
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Who do you think you are?
Who?
Five minutes ago before I askedthat question or yesterday, who
did you think you are?
And if this, we'll call it therule of opposites, if that is
true.
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Then what message do you thinkthat you're receiving right now
as far as who you actually are?
I'm willing to bet that it'sbetter than what you were giving
yourself credit for, and in thisjourney you will see that in
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many ways, I was Sebastian thecoward.
It was easier to deal withwhatever it was that I was
dealing with to let someone elsedominate me and insist on having
things their way than it was tostand up for myself.
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It was so, I, I received so muchpushback in standing up for
myself that oftentimes I didn't,it was just easier to let
somebody else have their way.
And then whenever I was pushedby my creator to stand up for
myself, I almost chickened out.
I was so fucking scared.
So scared because I was going inwith.
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With nothing.
I hadn't prepared anything.
I was completely leaning on God.
I had known for years that I didnot wanna spend the rest of my
life with this man because thisman was not the person I had
married.
But I didn't do anything otherthan mentally prepare and dream.
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I didn't financially prepare.
I didn't start planting seeds inmy children's head and I, I
didn't do anything like thatbecause I wanted to make sure
that my behavior would never beviewed as manipulative, as
coercive, or anything like that.
(14:22):
Acting with honor and behavingmorally and ethically that.
Was more important to me thananything, so that if anyone,
here's, here's one of my litmustests, my, my thing.
That helps me decide one way orthe other how to behave or how
to, how to do things or what tocorrect or how to correct it if
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my life were ever being done asa movie and as many.
Is, there are many movies thattell stories about something in
the past, and it's narrated bysomeone in the present time.
Basically there, there's someonein the present time telling a
story, and then that's where themovie opens up, and then you see
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the story.
If my life were being told likethat and it were being narrated
from the point of view of mychildren or my children's
children.
Because hindsight is 2020,right?
Once we know the impact ofactions, things said and done or
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not said and not done, we tendto have perfect vision.
So if my life were beingnarrated as a story like that,
would my children be happy?
Would they feel honored to say.
That was my mom.
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My mom did that.
Or would they feel a sickness inthe pit of their stomach and
lower their gaze and say, thatwas my mom.
As I have often said about myfather and other members of my
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family, I know that feeling.
I know that feeling all too welland I don't like it.
I have also, and if you'llremember, one of my things is,
and this is something that, thatI taught my stepdaughter and
hopefully other people too, thatthe things that make you happy,
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remember, and the things thatmake you sad, remember, and then
act accordingly.
I also thankfully am veryfamiliar with the feeling of,
yeah, that's my granddad.
My granddad did that.
Oh yeah.
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My grandmother, she did that.
Uhhuh.
That's my uncle.
That's my favorite aunt.
That's my brother.
That's my sister.
That's my mom.
Yeah.
That's my dad.
Yeah.
That was my great-grandfather.
That's my best friend.
I'm also very familiar withthose feelings too.
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And oh my gosh, this is stirringup a lot of things in me.
Um, it's amazing how emotions dothat, right?
And thoughts and memories.
So because I'm very familiarwith all of those feelings, it
is important to me.
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That ultimately when I'm nolonger on this earth, that my
children and hopefully mygrandchildren are glad that I
was here and that I did thethings that I did, and I said
the things that I said or that Ididn't do or say.
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So that's the kind of authoritythat I like to think that I
answer to.
And do I do I presume to beperfect?
Abso absolutely not.
But I try, I put forth theeffort.
I give a shit enough to thinkabout the impact that I.
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And making, not just right now,not when the pebble initially
gets thrown into the still pond,but I'm thinking about the
impact that I have.
Once those teeny tiny ripplesreach all the way over to the
other edge of the pond or waydown deep below to the fish or
whatever that's resting in thewaters down there, I think about
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those things.
My mom and my horriblestepfather.
He taught me about consequences.
My stepfather wasn't alwayshorrible, just like 99% of the
time, but I learned a lot.
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And one of those things that Ilearned was about consequences.
To think about the consequencesof my actions before I took them
to have common sense.
There were a lot of things thatI learned that I may not have
liked the way that I learnedthem or the way they were
preached to me, oftentimes by ahypocrite.
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But the fact is I learned them,and that's the important part.
And if that's what it took to,to learn those things and to
hopefully be a better person.
Okay.
'cause it's already done anyway.
So I can either, um, hold ontoit, uh, as a possession instead
of an experience and let it getme down and block my energy.
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Or I can say, you know what?
That was an experience.
I experienced it.
I learned from it.
I'm applying what I've learnedand I'm moving on with my life
and my energy flows, and I'mlighter and brighter and happier
for it, and I hope.
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God, I pray, I hope, and I praythat ultimately I have that kind
of impact or better as in higherenergy level impact on my
children, the kid who was mystepchild, I hope.
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That ultimately, that's how myimpact is viewed, but I have no
real control over that.
The only thing I can control iswhat I deliver and how I deliver
it.
And, but how it's received nocontrol over that.
It's kind of like sending aletter in the mail.
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I can send a letter in the mail.
I can, I can.
What is the old stuff?
Spray perfume on it.
Put a kiss on the, on the sealor whatever.
I can, I can put a nice prettypink envelope with a, with
stickers on it and drawings.
I can put all this love and careinto it and all these beautiful
words inside.
(21:38):
But if it's received at all, itmight get lost in the mail, how
it's received, um, and anynumber of other ways.
I mean.
If it does make it to, to the,to its destination, will it be
on time?
Will somebody open it up rightaway?
Will they look at it and see itin the, in the same way that,
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that I meant it, was it damagedin, in route?
Do they just look at it and tossit in the trash?
Do they even open it up?
Did they just, you know, shredit immediately?
Do they read it and then shredit, burn it, whatever.
I don't know.
There's, there's any number ofways.
There's an infinite number ofpossibilities.
How that letter, how thatmessage could be received.
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And I have no control over that,do I?
So ultimately, I'm responsiblefor me and what I send out into
the world reception of what Isend out into the world is based
on the receiver and I think.
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Well, in the days beforeinternet and streaming, I lived
out in a very remote area of thestate, and it was, there was
this, I would, I would sayoverlap, but it was a lack.
It was more of a gap between, sothe two biggest cities that I
(23:04):
lived between were Lubbock andAbilene.
And so we stay out in the middleof nowhere and the radio
signals.
As strong as they were.
Um, well, so there werebasically three towns.
There was Spur, SPUR, that'swhere I went to school.
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That's where I lived most of thetime.
There was Jayton, J-A-Y-T-O-N,and that's usually where I spent
the weekends and then inbetween.
And these towns were 25 milesapart, partway between.
Between those two towns isGerard, and that's G-I-R-A-R-D.
It's 15 miles from Spur, 10miles from from Jayton.
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And um, that really is just aspot in the road.
I mean, you sneeze when you gothrough it and you don't miss
it.
Those, those stories that peopletell about, uh, you know, you're
from the country when you knowthe best spot in the road to
throw a party or.
You throw your parties based onwhat cop is working that night,
or you give directions based onwhere the stoplight is or the
(24:11):
flashing light.
Mm-hmm.
All of those apply.
Uh, and the what we, what wecall the ranch was basically,
um, well, it was in the area of,of those three towns, uh, it was
considered more Gerard, but itwas, it was.
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The country.
So anyway, um, some distancebetween these, these two towns
where there's nothing, nothingbut farmland or ranch land.
And closer to spur, you weremore likely to get, uh, stations
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broadcast out of Lubbock.
Closer to Jayton.
You were likely to get stationstuned in better that.
We're broadcast out of Abilene.
Well, that meant that you were,when you were around Gerard, you
might have to flip flop from oneto the other.
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Um, this was just the way lifewas.
So it wasn't about what theywere sending out.
It was about my reception whereI was and how I was able to
receive it.
The receiver, AKA, my radio as Iwas driving down the road, so
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just because one station was,was playing my favorite song,
didn't mean that I got to listento it or that it wasn't staticky
or that it didn't drop signalhalfway through right at the
best part.
And sometimes switching over tothe other station.
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Oh, there's another really goodsong that I really enjoy.
Oh, but it's right at the end.
So that whole thing that wasbeing broadcast, oh, I missed
it.
But I came in on the end.
So that was a message being sentthat I didn't, didn't really
receive.
Right, because it depends on thereceiver.
So anyway, welcome to TheWonderful Mind of Scarlet.
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What else?
Oh, let me see.
So I did, uh, all of this, thiscooking and oh, so I was so glad
to have time with my kids, man.
One of our favorite things wasfor us to all hang out, have
some good food, hang out, watcha, watch a movie or show, just
that was some, some great chillout time for us.
(26:43):
So this movie, Raya in the LastDragon Raya, is.
If you haven't, if you haven'tseen it, I'll, I'll try to do a
quick synopsis.
So it's set in, I guess, inChina.
It's definitely in Asiasomewhere.
And there is a country that is,that basically there was a land
that, there used to be dragonseverywhere and dragons were all
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kinds of magic.
And there were five differenttypes of dragons, or I think it
was five.
Some of them were, were waterdragons and uh, just they all
had different skills and.
Something happened.
Uh, something was, I don't know,there was a battle or something.
(27:25):
Uh, anyway, the country windwound up being divided.
And of course the, the story isall about Raya and in, in her
effort to do something nice andkind, it wound up being a big,
super crappy thing and it sentthe whole country in.
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Basically in, in, in a state ofdisrepair of sadness and a lack
of magic and no more dragons andeverything.
And she felt a great deal ofguilt and sadness over her whole
thing.
And basically she was like, Iscrewed it up.
I have to fix it.
I know that there's got to be away.
And for years she continueddoing battles as she was seeking
(28:13):
something.
What do you know?
Lo and behold, um, she finds adragon, the last dragon, and
they do more battles in adifferent way and it gets really
(28:34):
crazy and really insane.
And, but then good happens.
Good stuff happens.
And then what do you know thenation.
Is is together as one.
Dragons are back, magic is back.
It is this heaven likeexistence, especially compared
(28:56):
to the hill that it was before.
Definitely opposite ends of thespectrum.
Very one side, very yin.
The other side, very young, butit's a good thing.
But they couldn't have gotten tothat point if they hadn't gone
through the crap.
First, so I love that Kuman iswhat they called the country as
(29:29):
it was altogether unified.
I look forward to my kandra.
It's coming.
It's happening.
I know it.
And I'm thankful.
I, I give, I, I live ingratitude for that already, so
if you haven't seen it, I, Ithoroughly recommend it.
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And if you have seen it, thenmaybe watch it again with that
commentary in mind.
I love that things are oftenportrayed in media, whether it's
TV or movies or what have you.
It it's portrayed as, asfiction.
But it's really commentary onlife in general.
(30:14):
Um, there are messageseverywhere, and it's funny, I
was commenting to someone today,uh, they got, had gotten a
notebook that had the serenityprayer, uh, on it.
God grant me to accept thethings I cannot change, the, uh,
the courage to change the thingsthat I can and the wisdom to
know the difference.
Well, I told her, I said myversion of that, and you'll hear
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this many times.
Is God, guide me in your ways.
Grant me the wisdom to see yourguidance and the courage to
follow it.
So the first statement beingredundant because I, I feel like
that the creator, creator alwaysguides us and just, we may not
always be aware of it or noticeit, but the thing is, it doesn't
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matter how much we notice it orare aware of it if we don't have
the courage.
To act on that guidance.
We haven't done squat.
We haven't done squat.
It doesn't matter if you're inthe darkness and someone turns
on the light, if you don't openyour eyes to actually see we, we
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have to be participatory, right?
This isn't just laid back andeverything's done for us.
We still have to participate.
Anyway, uh, I had jury duty thatday and, um, so one of my, one
of my changes in perspective ofthat was, uh, I tend to get
(31:46):
moralistic and, well, one is Iwas a being a sheep and
following like everybody else.
Oh, a jury duty, try to get outof it.
Uh, and I had realized at, atsome point that, you know.
If people are too afraid or tooself-centered or whatever to
step up and do their civic dutyand not actually have their
(32:07):
voice and their judgment heardin the world.
If I'm not willing to do that,then do I really have any right
to be upset with anyone else whodoesn't come forward and do
their civic duty?
Well, I know.
No, I do not.
Perhaps I should not be ahypocrite.
(32:30):
Perhaps I should do the rightthing.
Perhaps I should do my civicduty.
So I was actually, I guess, kindof hoping to, to get jury duty
that, um, let me, let me servemy time, let me do my service.
Turns out that just by beingthere, that a lot of stuff was
settled.
And so 30 minutes we were, wewere outta there.
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Oh, um, spoiler alert, uh oh.
I also learned through all ofthis that my kids, they're very
spoiled.
It doesn't matter that there wasa new dish prepared for each of
their meals.
If it had to be warmed up, itwasn't fresh, and my kids are
(33:13):
spoiled with fresh.
Okay.
All righty then as far as beingin react mode.
Okay, so the stuff that was inthe living room was stuff that
the, the ex-husband didn't wantand I didn't want, so I was
wanting to sell it and neededgood pictures, and my daughter
(33:34):
was willing to, she had offeredto take pictures for me so that
I could lift list it onmarketplace or something.
But I had gotten served and so Ihad to go into react mode and
had to do, um, yeah, I didn'tget to do what I had planned
was, was the point.
And so she, uh, she wanted to dosome cooking.
(33:55):
My, my daughter is an, is anexceptional cook and she wanted
to, to do some baking, which Ibelieve is also therapy for her.
And, um, so she didn't do thosethings.
And, um.
So I still had to do it.
Dr.
Stone is Dr.
Heather Stone and, uh, aboutthyroid and I, I think I would
(34:18):
love it if I could interview Dr.
Stone.
I think that would be phenomenalbecause I'm willing to bet.
Well, I know that there arelarge portion of women who have
thyroid issues and it'stypically hypothyroid and it's
probably actually Hashimoto's.
We, we can talk more about thatlater, but, uh, I would love to,
(34:38):
to interview Dr.
Stone also.
Um, this is a, um, a greatexample of me always trying to
do too much.
I, I, uh, I'm seeking balancebetween doing too much versus
doing too little.
I had, yeah, try trying to findthat, that pace, that place of
(34:59):
stillness where I'm doing justthe right amount.
Not too much one way or theother.
Anyway.
Okay, so back to the afternoonto the evening journal entry.
Jury duty was over in about 30minutes, I ran into someone who
had, I hadn't seen in a while.
(35:19):
We did PTA together.
Um.
I got to work on legal stuff fora long time, undisturbed and
totally lost track of time.
I sent a response to, to alawyer and radio silence.
Got 2023 working income minussales tax processing fees and
tips and gifts down.
(35:41):
Um.
I tried to find, uh, an IRSform.
No luck.
Haven't heard from the lawyerabout it either.
Sent last two income taxreturns.
Also asked if I can give to, toex-husband for radio silence.
There don't see why I can't.
I was talking about giving himincome tax returns.
Daughter wanted to makechocolate croissants so she
(36:02):
didn't take pics of stuff.
Also, she's also aware of.
Money slash food situation atleast somewhat.
Don't know what time husband iscoming home tomorrow.
Chicken Did not get foodsavored.
I am significantly less happythat my room is junky.
Feeling not magical at all atthe moment.
(36:24):
Bed still not made because it'ssmells like cat pee.
Didn't treat front roomentryway, rug either.
First thing in the am I thinkhappiness homework equals
checking things off the lists.
Happy face, Robinhood done.
Also, seeing that I make less intips and gifts than I thought.
Average is only$575 a month, soI'll have to readjust for that.
(36:49):
I need a team for my work,emails, website, blogs, et
cetera.
Today's traits were calm,peaceful.
And I feel like more receiving,receiving of peace in a calm
manner.
Success, I think, I didn't eatmy non-dairy chicken salad, but
I totally scarfed the sevencanned soup and Fritos again,
(37:17):
right flow.
I'm feeling called to focus onmy on the end.
Oh, right now.
Right flow.
I don't know.
I'm feeling called to focus onthe entryway, rug shoes and
area.
Then pictures.
Maybe move to Wednesday.
Not sure.
Need a notebook listing.
My homework was so busy that Iforgot my two 30 call with
(37:40):
Kelsey.
No alarm evidently, but it'sokay.
I keep thinking.
What's the John Travolta moviewhere he is an alien race that
takes over earth.
I, I love me and I feel so happyand peaceful about my life and
my future.
Happy face.
Thank you, creator.
Heart, sunshine, emoji.
Happy face.
(38:01):
Alright, so that sounded really,um, really cryptic, I guess.
So the whole thing, uh, about,so about the food situation.
So my children knew that Iwon't.
I had a budget for everything,including a food budget, and my
kids knew, not because I toldthem, but because they just knew
(38:24):
their dad.
That, and, and I think he mayhave told them that he cut me
off from all income.
The only income I had was whatwas already in the bank, which
was a lot of debt and whatever Ibrought in through my work and
that they, they knew that theirdad was, was being ugly
financially and.
(38:46):
So even though there was moneyin the food budget, I think my
daughter was, um, just verykeenly aware about it.
Yeah.
Uh, basically some stuff didn'tget done.
I, I was following the, the OGband Dino kind of stuff.
(39:07):
Never start the day with,without having a game plan for
tomorrow or whatever it is.
And so I was trying to, to dothat, but.
Finding the balance between notoverdoing things, not giving
myself too much, and um, uh,what is the word?
It starts with an I intimidatingmyself.
That's something that I've donea lot.
(39:28):
I've learned that if I have alist Okay, great.
If the list is too long ordetailed, I, I have a history of
intimidating myself and I erasethat I.
Am reprogramming that I, yeah,again, trying to find that
balance between things,happiness, homework was
(39:49):
basically the stuff that I hadto do because of the divorce.
That was my viewpoint on things.
It was my happiness homeworkbecause this was about my future
happiness and the things that Ihad to do to take care of it.
Robinhood was, I had tried thatinvesting thing with the app and
I had here and there.
(40:10):
I would put in some money hereand some money there wound up
losing because I didn't, Iinvested in stuff that wound up
going down.
So I think of about the$2,500that I invested, uh, it was
somewhere around 2,500.
I lost about a thousand.
(40:30):
Uh, so basically I had done, um,the homework on that was showing
how much I had invested andwhen, where the money came from,
which it came out of my tips,and also showing that it had
lost in value.
I think I probably also closedit out if I hadn't, if I didn't
do it, then I, then I did itsoon because of course he was
going after my assets and I wasshowing that they were paid for
(40:53):
with gifts.
And also that it had lost money.
And so if he wanted half of thatmoney, well then he could also
pay me for what I had lost.
The, the lack of investment orthe loss of it wound up not
being an issue because I justcashed it out and used it to pay
my attorney's fees.
(41:14):
Um.
Yeah, just focusing on gettingthings done and whether or not I
got them done.
My two 30 call was because I waspart of Kathy Heller's, VIP
deal, uh, for Boldly Abundant.
And Kelsey, I don't recall herlast name at the moment.
Uh, she was a coach, and so Imissed out on that call.
(41:38):
And then this John Travoltamovie, I, I forget the name of
it.
And I realize now, now thatI've.
Been kind, kind of clued in alittle bit about the Anunnaki.
That again, and this is, this isanother place where something
presented as fiction mightactually have more truth to it
(41:58):
than we realized or something.
I don't know.
So whatever that movie was that,uh, I don't know why that kept
coming up around me or in mythoughts, and I had never
actually seen the movie.
I just knew about it generallyspeaking.
Or in the most general terms,sometimes there are messages for
(42:21):
me in, in things like this.
So I don't know what that, whatthat was.
But, uh, anyway, at this time Iwas feeling very happy and very
peaceful about my life and thethings that were coming in, in
my future.
Very grateful and happy, justabout everything.
Life was, was pretty good.
(42:42):
Uh, um.
Even though I'd been blindsideda few times, and one of the, one
of the things I've seen time andagain is that when, when things
are on my own, when I'm left tomy own attitude and devices and
stuff like that, life is good.
It is really good, and it's easyto be chipper when I'm not being
(43:02):
challenged and I love theattitude or the advice or
whatever that Oh, you thinkyou're evolved?
You think that, that you're, um,a, a highly evolved spiritual
being or whatever, go get intraffic, go drive somewhere in
traffic because you're gonna betested.
(43:31):
And it's only when we'reactually tested that we learn
how strong we really are.
It is easy to maintain balancewhen what you're standing on.
Isn't being shaken.
If you've ever been in anearthquake, then you know what
it's like to have your worldliterally shaken, shaken out
(43:54):
from under you been there, donethat more than once, so on my
own, great attitude, balanced,happy.
In a good place, but there arechallenges coming and let me
(44:16):
tell you, well, episode one, ifyou listened to it, you know my
world was shaken.
That was me down on my kneesbegging and praying for help,
and you should have seen andheard me the next day on the way
(44:37):
to court.
Once we catch up.
You'll join me back there.
And then there's a whole lot ofother twists and turns on this
journey.
So some of them rather, rathersurprising.
So that's me, that's my journeyfor the day.
(45:00):
And, um, we'll keep, we'll keepfilling in the gaps.
We'll, we'll get her done.
We'll be like Larry, the cableguy and get her done.
In the meantime, I'm ScarletDavis.
The Future single lady, and thisis my story just for
entertainment purposes.
I'm not qualified to give advicein any way, but I'd love to hear
(45:21):
what you have to say.
And if you have some advice forme, I'd love to hear it.
Love you my friend, futuresingle lady@gmail.com and future
single lady Facebook page.
Are you looking for someentertainment?
Little bit of drama.
Do you have some tea that you'dlike to spill?
Are you waiting for me to spillthe tea?
Well, then you're in the rightplace.
This is the future.
Single lady surviving andthriving through divorce I went
through a divorce.
What are you going through?
(00:21):
Gimme a call.
Holler at me.
Future single lady@gmail.com orgo to my Facebook page, future
Single Lady.
I'm Scarlett Davis and this isme telling my story.
It's just for entertainmentpurposes and whether you just
wanna laugh at me, yell at me,scream at me, or commiserate
with me, have sympathy andempathy.
(00:41):
That's fine.
let's get together, let's hangout.
what I thought, what I felt,what I was going through.
This is me documenting myjourney and what I went through
as I fought and clawed my waythrough divorce.
Sometimes it was smooth sailingand that was, that was great,
but sometimes those seas gotvery turbulent.
(01:02):
So that's it.
Okay, so I gotta try a differentposture because, um, I have to
be up and moving aroundcontinuing on filling in the
gaps.
And I'll be honest, I'm lookingforward to, um, when this is
(01:26):
done and we can just get towhatever's going on in the
moment, but there's aboutanother month.
Of this.
So I hope you've enjoyed wherewe've been filling in the gaps,
not just with the journalinjuries, but also with some of
the backstory.
I just think it's reallyimportant to have a more
complete picture of what's goingon.
(01:48):
I think that we've all can thinkof many examples that we've seen
in the past where things lookedone way, but then when you had
more information.
For, for the things thathappened just before then, then
it's a completely differentstory.
I think we've seen this in thenews.
The first thing that came to mymind, um, specifically, there
(02:12):
were, there were other things,but specifically the first real
example I could think of was themovie, I think it's Dolores
Claiborne.
It's a Kathy Bates movie, and Ithink Jessica Tandy was the
woman in it.
With her.
It starts off one way and thenwe'll just say that it puts, um,
Kathy Bates' character.
Framed in a really bad light.
(02:32):
But then once you know thebackstory, it is a completely
different story.
So if you have all of theinformation, you are better
suited to make a moreappropriate judgment.
And of course, this is a 20 yearrelationship, so you're not
(02:54):
gonna have 20 years worth ofinformation.
But hopefully knowing certainkey things will, um, will give
you a more informed position.
Anyway, we're continuing on,this is February 27th and this
is my journal entry from,actually, there are two of them
(03:17):
from February 27th, 2024.
I was too tired to write lastnight.
Glad I got lots of stuff cookedand to spend time with my
babies'.
Happy face.
They were a little complimentaryover the seven can soup,
supposed butter, rice, and notso much.
Oh, supposed butter rice, not somuch.
(03:39):
And chicken was, but I got lotscooked.
Husband called the kids to checkin, but really he's asking about
what I'm doing.
That's okay because I'm sureit's overall good reasons rather
than information gathering.
Also, I pray he sees that I canand do cook.
(04:01):
But have held back because he'sinsisted on dominating more than
Frito Pie and Chee Chili.
I can cook exclamation work andhappy face.
Anywho son asked someone to takehis shift since he's still tired
from the long shifts thisweekend.
So I nabbed another US nightsince daughter also didn't have
(04:22):
police explorers either.
Happy Face, they chose Raya andthe last dragon.
What do I love most about thatmovie?
That one person sees that lifecan be better for all and does
something about it while thereends up being conflict and great
darkness, sadness, and struggle,what ends up is better than
anything they could haveimagined before.
(04:44):
Not only are all joined togetheras de as desired in Kuman, but
dragons are back bright,colorful, blessed dragons and
their incredible magic.
This is what I seek from my lifeand I know it's happening.
I receive this and I apply anduse it all for the greatest.
(05:05):
Good.
Thank you.
Thank you, God.
Jury duty today.
I must get ready.
Daughter and I game planned lastnight, and both kids know that I
haven't gotten this stuff out ofthe living room because my
plans.
It got shifted when I had to gointo React mode and had to do
(05:26):
things not planned.
Instead, I think they knowanyway.
She volunteered to take picturesfor me, which would be a huge
help and they may food savorsome stuff for me too.
Happy face meals are cooked sowe can chill a bit more.
I hope they unload thedishwasher.
Dr.
Stone's book came in yesterday.
(05:48):
Happy phase.
I keep wondering if I can readit at jury duty, but I know
that's not realistic.
Do me always wanting to do stuffdouble time, but it's not
realistic.
God telling me to chill.
I guess that was the morning'sentry.
There's an afternoon one, uh, orevening one as well.
I'm just gonna go ahead andexplain on some of these things
(06:09):
a little bit.
So as I had said before.
In the first couple of weeks.
It really, in about the firstmonth of asking for a divorce,
my soon to be ex-husband spent alot of time away from the house,
as in, out of town for a week ortwo.
Um, and so he was, like I said,he, he became father of the
(06:33):
year.
And he was always calling tocheck in with the kids, but he
was always asking really.
It wasn't like, Hey kids, howare you doing?
How was your day?
Or whatever.
There might be a question or twolike that, but mostly he wanted
to know what was going on in thehouse.
So that's fine.
I don't blame him for it becausethe information that he was
(06:54):
getting was that I was cookingand on this particular night,
uh, or the night before.
On the 26th, I was doing a lotof cooking, so I like to batch
cook instead of making a mess, alittle bit of a mess every day,
or a medium sized mess everyday.
I would rather do a lot ofcooking at once while I'm in
that mode and that energetic andmindset and everything, and then
(07:19):
be easy about it later on.
Uh, just warm up some stuff orif it needs to be warmed up or
just go grab a few bites ofwhatever it is that, that I
want.
But definitely to have the foodon hand already done because
I've also learned that theharder I have to work to feed
myself, the more likely I am toget something quick and easy,
(07:42):
which is probably, um, dirtier.
Like it's, it's gonna be morejunk foodie.
So.
Yeah, and I, as you can seethrough this, I would rather
have quality time with mybabies, with my loved ones, or
even just with myself than to bespending all day in the kitchen.
(08:03):
So basically, I had tried outthree different recipes.
There was, uh, one of my friendshad given me this recipe years
earlier, and it was just calledseven Canned Soup.
So there was, it was literally asoup made with seven cans of
stuff as well as some chicken.
And I forget what all else.
Turns out that it's actuallyvery similar to something else
that I was cooking already.
(08:24):
And, um, this was, this waspretty decent.
It was not bad.
I will be honest.
I, I like what I cook betterthat, um, what we call teeters
chili.
And I'm wondering if I shouldput these, these recipes.
Uh, in the show notes so thatyou can decide for yourself.
I also had a recipe for some,some butter rice, but, and
(08:48):
that's why I called it supposedbutter rice because, um, it
wasn't, wasn't like what, whatI, I would think of as, as that,
but it wasn't bad.
And, and if I recall correctly,I think maybe we even mixed it
with the soup.
I don't recall.
(09:09):
Also, there was something that Idecided to try with some, some
chicken drumsticks.
I had bought a package at thestore and I cooked half the
package.
Was trying to just put somethingtogether, just explore mentally,
um, with or with some thingsthat I had going on, mentally
thinking that, that it mightwork out.
It, uh, note it did not workout, uh, the way I had had
(09:33):
thought that it would.
And that's okay.
The thing is that I tried, Idefinitely got mocked for it.
Isn't that interesting?
Yeah, and and I don't mean likethe big mocking, I just mean
like she did what really?
(09:54):
And how was that kind of thing.
Because you know, that's what aninsecure person is, which
honestly.
Is what a narcissist is.
Really, A narcissist is aninsecure person.
They, it comes off as thisincredible belief in themselves
(10:15):
that they're so amazing, butreally I think it's extreme
insecurity where they're like,yes, I am awesome.
I am amazing.
Right?
Right.
They need outward confirmationof how awesome they think that
they are.
And if you need outwardconfirmation, then maybe you're
(10:38):
not as confident and secure asyou think you are.
Isn't that kind of ironic?
Hmm.
Uh, it all kind of makes methink if one of the, one of my
favorite movies growing up, andI still love it, and I, and I
think about it, is the neverending story.
(10:58):
And you'll hear me referencethis many times, but.
In the end, when Sebastian makesit to the Oracle, one of the
tests that he has to face is themirror, I think.
I think it's called the mirrorof truth or something.
I, I don't know.
Um, actually it's not Sebastian,it's reu, but turns out that a
(11:21):
REU is Sebastian, and Sebastianis a reu.
The mirror of truth reflectswhat someone.
It truly is how they truly are.
So atray you, the warrior, whenhe looked in the mirror, he was
actually the cowardly Sebastianand the cowardly Sebastian was
(11:46):
actually the incredible renownedwarrior.
Isn't that interesting?
So that makes me ask of youright now, who are you?
Who do you think.
You are.
(12:06):
Who do you think you are?
Who?
Five minutes ago before I askedthat question or yesterday, who
did you think you are?
And if this, we'll call it therule of opposites, if that is
true.
(12:26):
Then what message do you thinkthat you're receiving right now
as far as who you actually are?
I'm willing to bet that it'sbetter than what you were giving
yourself credit for, and in thisjourney you will see that in
(12:47):
many ways, I was Sebastian thecoward.
It was easier to deal withwhatever it was that I was
dealing with to let someone elsedominate me and insist on having
things their way than it was tostand up for myself.
(13:11):
It was so, I, I received so muchpushback in standing up for
myself that oftentimes I didn't,it was just easier to let
somebody else have their way.
And then whenever I was pushedby my creator to stand up for
myself, I almost chickened out.
I was so fucking scared.
So scared because I was going inwith.
(13:36):
With nothing.
I hadn't prepared anything.
I was completely leaning on God.
I had known for years that I didnot wanna spend the rest of my
life with this man because thisman was not the person I had
married.
But I didn't do anything otherthan mentally prepare and dream.
(14:00):
I didn't financially prepare.
I didn't start planting seeds inmy children's head and I, I
didn't do anything like thatbecause I wanted to make sure
that my behavior would never beviewed as manipulative, as
coercive, or anything like that.
(14:22):
Acting with honor and behavingmorally and ethically that.
Was more important to me thananything, so that if anyone,
here's, here's one of my litmustests, my, my thing.
That helps me decide one way orthe other how to behave or how
to, how to do things or what tocorrect or how to correct it if
(14:48):
my life were ever being done asa movie and as many.
Is, there are many movies thattell stories about something in
the past, and it's narrated bysomeone in the present time.
Basically there, there's someonein the present time telling a
story, and then that's where themovie opens up, and then you see
(15:10):
the story.
If my life were being told likethat and it were being narrated
from the point of view of mychildren or my children's
children.
Because hindsight is 2020,right?
Once we know the impact ofactions, things said and done or
(15:32):
not said and not done, we tendto have perfect vision.
So if my life were beingnarrated as a story like that,
would my children be happy?
Would they feel honored to say.
That was my mom.
(15:53):
My mom did that.
Or would they feel a sickness inthe pit of their stomach and
lower their gaze and say, thatwas my mom.
As I have often said about myfather and other members of my
(16:15):
family, I know that feeling.
I know that feeling all too welland I don't like it.
I have also, and if you'llremember, one of my things is,
and this is something that, thatI taught my stepdaughter and
hopefully other people too, thatthe things that make you happy,
(16:39):
remember, and the things thatmake you sad, remember, and then
act accordingly.
I also thankfully am veryfamiliar with the feeling of,
yeah, that's my granddad.
My granddad did that.
Oh yeah.
(16:59):
My grandmother, she did that.
Uhhuh.
That's my uncle.
That's my favorite aunt.
That's my brother.
That's my sister.
That's my mom.
Yeah.
That's my dad.
Yeah.
That was my great-grandfather.
That's my best friend.
I'm also very familiar withthose feelings too.
(17:22):
And oh my gosh, this is stirringup a lot of things in me.
Um, it's amazing how emotions dothat, right?
And thoughts and memories.
So because I'm very familiarwith all of those feelings, it
is important to me.
(17:44):
That ultimately when I'm nolonger on this earth, that my
children and hopefully mygrandchildren are glad that I
was here and that I did thethings that I did, and I said
the things that I said or that Ididn't do or say.
(18:09):
So that's the kind of authoritythat I like to think that I
answer to.
And do I do I presume to beperfect?
Abso absolutely not.
But I try, I put forth theeffort.
I give a shit enough to thinkabout the impact that I.
(18:33):
And making, not just right now,not when the pebble initially
gets thrown into the still pond,but I'm thinking about the
impact that I have.
Once those teeny tiny ripplesreach all the way over to the
other edge of the pond or waydown deep below to the fish or
whatever that's resting in thewaters down there, I think about
(18:56):
those things.
My mom and my horriblestepfather.
He taught me about consequences.
My stepfather wasn't alwayshorrible, just like 99% of the
time, but I learned a lot.
(19:21):
And one of those things that Ilearned was about consequences.
To think about the consequencesof my actions before I took them
to have common sense.
There were a lot of things thatI learned that I may not have
liked the way that I learnedthem or the way they were
preached to me, oftentimes by ahypocrite.
(19:45):
But the fact is I learned them,and that's the important part.
And if that's what it took to,to learn those things and to
hopefully be a better person.
Okay.
'cause it's already done anyway.
So I can either, um, hold ontoit, uh, as a possession instead
of an experience and let it getme down and block my energy.
(20:09):
Or I can say, you know what?
That was an experience.
I experienced it.
I learned from it.
I'm applying what I've learnedand I'm moving on with my life
and my energy flows, and I'mlighter and brighter and happier
for it, and I hope.
(20:30):
God, I pray, I hope, and I praythat ultimately I have that kind
of impact or better as in higherenergy level impact on my
children, the kid who was mystepchild, I hope.
(20:55):
That ultimately, that's how myimpact is viewed, but I have no
real control over that.
The only thing I can control iswhat I deliver and how I deliver
it.
And, but how it's received nocontrol over that.
It's kind of like sending aletter in the mail.
(21:16):
I can send a letter in the mail.
I can, I can.
What is the old stuff?
Spray perfume on it.
Put a kiss on the, on the sealor whatever.
I can, I can put a nice prettypink envelope with a, with
stickers on it and drawings.
I can put all this love and careinto it and all these beautiful
words inside.
(21:38):
But if it's received at all, itmight get lost in the mail, how
it's received, um, and anynumber of other ways.
I mean.
If it does make it to, to the,to its destination, will it be
on time?
Will somebody open it up rightaway?
Will they look at it and see itin the, in the same way that,
(21:58):
that I meant it, was it damagedin, in route?
Do they just look at it and tossit in the trash?
Do they even open it up?
Did they just, you know, shredit immediately?
Do they read it and then shredit, burn it, whatever.
I don't know.
There's, there's any number ofways.
There's an infinite number ofpossibilities.
How that letter, how thatmessage could be received.
(22:20):
And I have no control over that,do I?
So ultimately, I'm responsiblefor me and what I send out into
the world reception of what Isend out into the world is based
on the receiver and I think.
(22:44):
Well, in the days beforeinternet and streaming, I lived
out in a very remote area of thestate, and it was, there was
this, I would, I would sayoverlap, but it was a lack.
It was more of a gap between, sothe two biggest cities that I
(23:04):
lived between were Lubbock andAbilene.
And so we stay out in the middleof nowhere and the radio
signals.
As strong as they were.
Um, well, so there werebasically three towns.
There was Spur, SPUR, that'swhere I went to school.
(23:25):
That's where I lived most of thetime.
There was Jayton, J-A-Y-T-O-N,and that's usually where I spent
the weekends and then inbetween.
And these towns were 25 milesapart, partway between.
Between those two towns isGerard, and that's G-I-R-A-R-D.
It's 15 miles from Spur, 10miles from from Jayton.
(23:47):
And um, that really is just aspot in the road.
I mean, you sneeze when you gothrough it and you don't miss
it.
Those, those stories that peopletell about, uh, you know, you're
from the country when you knowthe best spot in the road to
throw a party or.
You throw your parties based onwhat cop is working that night,
or you give directions based onwhere the stoplight is or the
(24:11):
flashing light.
Mm-hmm.
All of those apply.
Uh, and the what we, what wecall the ranch was basically,
um, well, it was in the area of,of those three towns, uh, it was
considered more Gerard, but itwas, it was.
(24:33):
The country.
So anyway, um, some distancebetween these, these two towns
where there's nothing, nothingbut farmland or ranch land.
And closer to spur, you weremore likely to get, uh, stations
(24:53):
broadcast out of Lubbock.
Closer to Jayton.
You were likely to get stationstuned in better that.
We're broadcast out of Abilene.
Well, that meant that you were,when you were around Gerard, you
might have to flip flop from oneto the other.
(25:15):
Um, this was just the way lifewas.
So it wasn't about what theywere sending out.
It was about my reception whereI was and how I was able to
receive it.
The receiver, AKA, my radio as Iwas driving down the road, so
(25:37):
just because one station was,was playing my favorite song,
didn't mean that I got to listento it or that it wasn't staticky
or that it didn't drop signalhalfway through right at the
best part.
And sometimes switching over tothe other station.
(25:58):
Oh, there's another really goodsong that I really enjoy.
Oh, but it's right at the end.
So that whole thing that wasbeing broadcast, oh, I missed
it.
But I came in on the end.
So that was a message being sentthat I didn't, didn't really
receive.
Right, because it depends on thereceiver.
So anyway, welcome to TheWonderful Mind of Scarlet.
(26:20):
What else?
Oh, let me see.
So I did, uh, all of this, thiscooking and oh, so I was so glad
to have time with my kids, man.
One of our favorite things wasfor us to all hang out, have
some good food, hang out, watcha, watch a movie or show, just
that was some, some great chillout time for us.
(26:43):
So this movie, Raya in the LastDragon Raya, is.
If you haven't, if you haven'tseen it, I'll, I'll try to do a
quick synopsis.
So it's set in, I guess, inChina.
It's definitely in Asiasomewhere.
And there is a country that is,that basically there was a land
that, there used to be dragonseverywhere and dragons were all
(27:05):
kinds of magic.
And there were five differenttypes of dragons, or I think it
was five.
Some of them were, were waterdragons and uh, just they all
had different skills and.
Something happened.
Uh, something was, I don't know,there was a battle or something.
(27:25):
Uh, anyway, the country windwound up being divided.
And of course the, the story isall about Raya and in, in her
effort to do something nice andkind, it wound up being a big,
super crappy thing and it sentthe whole country in.
(27:47):
Basically in, in, in a state ofdisrepair of sadness and a lack
of magic and no more dragons andeverything.
And she felt a great deal ofguilt and sadness over her whole
thing.
And basically she was like, Iscrewed it up.
I have to fix it.
I know that there's got to be away.
And for years she continueddoing battles as she was seeking
(28:13):
something.
What do you know?
Lo and behold, um, she finds adragon, the last dragon, and
they do more battles in adifferent way and it gets really
(28:34):
crazy and really insane.
And, but then good happens.
Good stuff happens.
And then what do you know thenation.
Is is together as one.
Dragons are back, magic is back.
It is this heaven likeexistence, especially compared
(28:56):
to the hill that it was before.
Definitely opposite ends of thespectrum.
Very one side, very yin.
The other side, very young, butit's a good thing.
But they couldn't have gotten tothat point if they hadn't gone
through the crap.
First, so I love that Kuman iswhat they called the country as
(29:29):
it was altogether unified.
I look forward to my kandra.
It's coming.
It's happening.
I know it.
And I'm thankful.
I, I give, I, I live ingratitude for that already, so
if you haven't seen it, I, Ithoroughly recommend it.
(29:51):
And if you have seen it, thenmaybe watch it again with that
commentary in mind.
I love that things are oftenportrayed in media, whether it's
TV or movies or what have you.
It it's portrayed as, asfiction.
But it's really commentary onlife in general.
(30:14):
Um, there are messageseverywhere, and it's funny, I
was commenting to someone today,uh, they got, had gotten a
notebook that had the serenityprayer, uh, on it.
God grant me to accept thethings I cannot change, the, uh,
the courage to change the thingsthat I can and the wisdom to
know the difference.
Well, I told her, I said myversion of that, and you'll hear
(30:37):
this many times.
Is God, guide me in your ways.
Grant me the wisdom to see yourguidance and the courage to
follow it.
So the first statement beingredundant because I, I feel like
that the creator, creator alwaysguides us and just, we may not
always be aware of it or noticeit, but the thing is, it doesn't
(31:00):
matter how much we notice it orare aware of it if we don't have
the courage.
To act on that guidance.
We haven't done squat.
We haven't done squat.
It doesn't matter if you're inthe darkness and someone turns
on the light, if you don't openyour eyes to actually see we, we
(31:25):
have to be participatory, right?
This isn't just laid back andeverything's done for us.
We still have to participate.
Anyway, uh, I had jury duty thatday and, um, so one of my, one
of my changes in perspective ofthat was, uh, I tend to get
(31:46):
moralistic and, well, one is Iwas a being a sheep and
following like everybody else.
Oh, a jury duty, try to get outof it.
Uh, and I had realized at, atsome point that, you know.
If people are too afraid or tooself-centered or whatever to
step up and do their civic dutyand not actually have their
(32:07):
voice and their judgment heardin the world.
If I'm not willing to do that,then do I really have any right
to be upset with anyone else whodoesn't come forward and do
their civic duty?
Well, I know.
No, I do not.
Perhaps I should not be ahypocrite.
(32:30):
Perhaps I should do the rightthing.
Perhaps I should do my civicduty.
So I was actually, I guess, kindof hoping to, to get jury duty
that, um, let me, let me servemy time, let me do my service.
Turns out that just by beingthere, that a lot of stuff was
settled.
And so 30 minutes we were, wewere outta there.
(32:52):
Oh, um, spoiler alert, uh oh.
I also learned through all ofthis that my kids, they're very
spoiled.
It doesn't matter that there wasa new dish prepared for each of
their meals.
If it had to be warmed up, itwasn't fresh, and my kids are
(33:13):
spoiled with fresh.
Okay.
All righty then as far as beingin react mode.
Okay, so the stuff that was inthe living room was stuff that
the, the ex-husband didn't wantand I didn't want, so I was
wanting to sell it and neededgood pictures, and my daughter
(33:34):
was willing to, she had offeredto take pictures for me so that
I could lift list it onmarketplace or something.
But I had gotten served and so Ihad to go into react mode and
had to do, um, yeah, I didn'tget to do what I had planned
was, was the point.
And so she, uh, she wanted to dosome cooking.
(33:55):
My, my daughter is an, is anexceptional cook and she wanted
to, to do some baking, which Ibelieve is also therapy for her.
And, um, so she didn't do thosethings.
And, um.
So I still had to do it.
Dr.
Stone is Dr.
Heather Stone and, uh, aboutthyroid and I, I think I would
(34:18):
love it if I could interview Dr.
Stone.
I think that would be phenomenalbecause I'm willing to bet.
Well, I know that there arelarge portion of women who have
thyroid issues and it'stypically hypothyroid and it's
probably actually Hashimoto's.
We, we can talk more about thatlater, but, uh, I would love to,
(34:38):
to interview Dr.
Stone also.
Um, this is a, um, a greatexample of me always trying to
do too much.
I, I, uh, I'm seeking balancebetween doing too much versus
doing too little.
I had, yeah, try trying to findthat, that pace, that place of
(34:59):
stillness where I'm doing justthe right amount.
Not too much one way or theother.
Anyway.
Okay, so back to the afternoonto the evening journal entry.
Jury duty was over in about 30minutes, I ran into someone who
had, I hadn't seen in a while.
(35:19):
We did PTA together.
Um.
I got to work on legal stuff fora long time, undisturbed and
totally lost track of time.
I sent a response to, to alawyer and radio silence.
Got 2023 working income minussales tax processing fees and
tips and gifts down.
(35:41):
Um.
I tried to find, uh, an IRSform.
No luck.
Haven't heard from the lawyerabout it either.
Sent last two income taxreturns.
Also asked if I can give to, toex-husband for radio silence.
There don't see why I can't.
I was talking about giving himincome tax returns.
Daughter wanted to makechocolate croissants so she
(36:02):
didn't take pics of stuff.
Also, she's also aware of.
Money slash food situation atleast somewhat.
Don't know what time husband iscoming home tomorrow.
Chicken Did not get foodsavored.
I am significantly less happythat my room is junky.
Feeling not magical at all atthe moment.
(36:24):
Bed still not made because it'ssmells like cat pee.
Didn't treat front roomentryway, rug either.
First thing in the am I thinkhappiness homework equals
checking things off the lists.
Happy face, Robinhood done.
Also, seeing that I make less intips and gifts than I thought.
Average is only$575 a month, soI'll have to readjust for that.
(36:49):
I need a team for my work,emails, website, blogs, et
cetera.
Today's traits were calm,peaceful.
And I feel like more receiving,receiving of peace in a calm
manner.
Success, I think, I didn't eatmy non-dairy chicken salad, but
I totally scarfed the sevencanned soup and Fritos again,
(37:17):
right flow.
I'm feeling called to focus onmy on the end.
Oh, right now.
Right flow.
I don't know.
I'm feeling called to focus onthe entryway, rug shoes and
area.
Then pictures.
Maybe move to Wednesday.
Not sure.
Need a notebook listing.
My homework was so busy that Iforgot my two 30 call with
(37:40):
Kelsey.
No alarm evidently, but it'sokay.
I keep thinking.
What's the John Travolta moviewhere he is an alien race that
takes over earth.
I, I love me and I feel so happyand peaceful about my life and
my future.
Happy face.
Thank you, creator.
Heart, sunshine, emoji.
Happy face.
(38:01):
Alright, so that sounded really,um, really cryptic, I guess.
So the whole thing, uh, about,so about the food situation.
So my children knew that Iwon't.
I had a budget for everything,including a food budget, and my
kids knew, not because I toldthem, but because they just knew
(38:24):
their dad.
That, and, and I think he mayhave told them that he cut me
off from all income.
The only income I had was whatwas already in the bank, which
was a lot of debt and whatever Ibrought in through my work and
that they, they knew that theirdad was, was being ugly
financially and.
(38:46):
So even though there was moneyin the food budget, I think my
daughter was, um, just verykeenly aware about it.
Yeah.
Uh, basically some stuff didn'tget done.
I, I was following the, the OGband Dino kind of stuff.
(39:07):
Never start the day with,without having a game plan for
tomorrow or whatever it is.
And so I was trying to, to dothat, but.
Finding the balance between notoverdoing things, not giving
myself too much, and um, uh,what is the word?
It starts with an I intimidatingmyself.
That's something that I've donea lot.
(39:28):
I've learned that if I have alist Okay, great.
If the list is too long ordetailed, I, I have a history of
intimidating myself and I erasethat I.
Am reprogramming that I, yeah,again, trying to find that
balance between things,happiness, homework was
(39:49):
basically the stuff that I hadto do because of the divorce.
That was my viewpoint on things.
It was my happiness homeworkbecause this was about my future
happiness and the things that Ihad to do to take care of it.
Robinhood was, I had tried thatinvesting thing with the app and
I had here and there.
(40:10):
I would put in some money hereand some money there wound up
losing because I didn't, Iinvested in stuff that wound up
going down.
So I think of about the$2,500that I invested, uh, it was
somewhere around 2,500.
I lost about a thousand.
(40:30):
Uh, so basically I had done, um,the homework on that was showing
how much I had invested andwhen, where the money came from,
which it came out of my tips,and also showing that it had
lost in value.
I think I probably also closedit out if I hadn't, if I didn't
do it, then I, then I did itsoon because of course he was
going after my assets and I wasshowing that they were paid for
(40:53):
with gifts.
And also that it had lost money.
And so if he wanted half of thatmoney, well then he could also
pay me for what I had lost.
The, the lack of investment orthe loss of it wound up not
being an issue because I justcashed it out and used it to pay
my attorney's fees.
(41:14):
Um.
Yeah, just focusing on gettingthings done and whether or not I
got them done.
My two 30 call was because I waspart of Kathy Heller's, VIP
deal, uh, for Boldly Abundant.
And Kelsey, I don't recall herlast name at the moment.
Uh, she was a coach, and so Imissed out on that call.
(41:38):
And then this John Travoltamovie, I, I forget the name of
it.
And I realize now, now thatI've.
Been kind, kind of clued in alittle bit about the Anunnaki.
That again, and this is, this isanother place where something
presented as fiction mightactually have more truth to it
(41:58):
than we realized or something.
I don't know.
So whatever that movie was that,uh, I don't know why that kept
coming up around me or in mythoughts, and I had never
actually seen the movie.
I just knew about it generallyspeaking.
Or in the most general terms,sometimes there are messages for
(42:21):
me in, in things like this.
So I don't know what that, whatthat was.
But, uh, anyway, at this time Iwas feeling very happy and very
peaceful about my life and thethings that were coming in, in
my future.
Very grateful and happy, justabout everything.
Life was, was pretty good.
(42:42):
Uh, um.
Even though I'd been blindsideda few times, and one of the, one
of the things I've seen time andagain is that when, when things
are on my own, when I'm left tomy own attitude and devices and
stuff like that, life is good.
It is really good, and it's easyto be chipper when I'm not being
(43:02):
challenged and I love theattitude or the advice or
whatever that Oh, you thinkyou're evolved?
You think that, that you're, um,a, a highly evolved spiritual
being or whatever, go get intraffic, go drive somewhere in
traffic because you're gonna betested.
(43:31):
And it's only when we'reactually tested that we learn
how strong we really are.
It is easy to maintain balancewhen what you're standing on.
Isn't being shaken.
If you've ever been in anearthquake, then you know what
it's like to have your worldliterally shaken, shaken out
(43:54):
from under you been there, donethat more than once, so on my
own, great attitude, balanced,happy.
In a good place, but there arechallenges coming and let me
(44:16):
tell you, well, episode one, ifyou listened to it, you know my
world was shaken.
That was me down on my kneesbegging and praying for help,
and you should have seen andheard me the next day on the way
(44:37):
to court.
Once we catch up.
You'll join me back there.
And then there's a whole lot ofother twists and turns on this
journey.
So some of them rather, rathersurprising.
So that's me, that's my journeyfor the day.
(45:00):
And, um, we'll keep, we'll keepfilling in the gaps.
We'll, we'll get her done.
We'll be like Larry, the cableguy and get her done.
In the meantime, I'm ScarletDavis.
The Future single lady, and thisis my story just for
entertainment purposes.
I'm not qualified to give advicein any way, but I'd love to hear
(45:21):
what you have to say.
And if you have some advice forme, I'd love to hear it.
Love you my friend, futuresingle lady@gmail.com and future
single lady Facebook page.
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