June 2, 2025 • 26 mins
In this episode of the Globally Thriving Families Podcast, host Clare O'Byrne, a parent coach and occupational therapist, explores the multifaceted topic of screen time in parenting. Clare discusses the evolution of guidelines from health organizations, the implications of screen use on children's physical and emotional well-being, and provides practical strategies for managing screen habits within the family. She emphasizes the nuanced nature of screen use, especially for families living internationally or with neurodivergent children, and shares her own experiences and research insights. Clare also offers recommendations for setting boundaries, developing a family media plan, and reflecting on parental screen use to establish healthier habits. Lastly, she highlights the importance of unstructured play for children's development and advises parents not to be too hard on themselves as they navigate this complex issue.
00:00 Introduction to Globally Thriving Families
01:04 The Screen Time Dilemma
01:34 Evaluating Family Screen Habits
02:06 Personal Experiences and Challenges
03:03 Screen Time in Different Contexts
04:38 Physical Use vs. Content Consumption
05:15 Guidelines and Recommendations
06:47 Reported Effects of Screen Time
11:28 Neurodiversity and Screen Use
13:25 Emotional Regulation and Screen Time
16:42 Setting Boundaries and Family Media Plans
20:22 Parental Screen Habits and Their Impact
23:55 Summary and Final Thoughts
Resources mentioned in today's episode:
Children & Screens ; https://www.childrenandscreens.org/
Book - How To Raise A Healthy Gamer, Dr Alok Kanojia: https://www.healthygamer.gg/how-to-raise-a-healthy-gamer
Book- The Phone Fix, Dr Faye Begeti: https://www.drfayebegeti.com/thephonefix
Family Media Plan: https://www.healthychildren.org/English/fmp/Pages/MediaPlan.aspx
Technoference: https://www.childrenandscreens.org/learn-explore/research/technical-interference-screens-and-the-parent-child-relationship/
Connect with Clare: globally.thriving@gmail.com
Website: https://www.globallythriving.com
Connect with Clare on Instagram: http://instagram.com/globally_thriving
Book a free 20 minute call with Clare: https://tidycal.com/globallythriving/20-minute-meeting
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:03):
Are you a parent or caregiverraising your child
internationally?
Are you curious about how tonurture your child's
development?
But find all the parentinginformation out there confusing?
If so, you are in the rightplace.
Welcome to the Globally ThrivingFamilies Podcast.
I'm your host, Clare O'Byrne, aparent coach and occupational
(00:26):
therapist with a passion forsupporting children and their
families for more than 25 years.
Whether it's understanding howto build resilience to practical
tips for language development,screen time challenges, and
staying calm amongst the chaos,Globally Thriving Families is
here to help.
(00:46):
Join me as we explore the topicsthat give you the insights and
guidance you need to supportyour children to thrive.
No matter where your family'sadventures take you.
Hi there.
So today we are talking aboutscreen time.
(01:07):
It's going to be the first of afew episodes all about screen
related issues, and it's quitean emotionally charged topic in
parenting at the moment.
I know my social media.
Feed is full of opinions aboutkids and screens.
It's talked about in the news indocumentaries between friends.
Even schools are discussing itin their newsletters and they're
(01:30):
having parent workshops that aredevoted to it.
So what I want to do is offersome considerations to you when
evaluating the whole familyscreen habits rather than just
demonizing screens and makingyou feel guilty.
I think it's really valuable tothink about the nuances of
(01:50):
screen use rather than justhaving a black and white
approach to it.
And having said that, sometimeswe also have to face up to some
truths about what we allow tohappen at home, myself included,
so we will explore that a littlebit too.
Now, full disclosure, I don'thave all the answers here.
I have an 11 and a 13-year-old,and I'm really invested in
(02:15):
looking at the research andlearning from experts, about the
impact of screens and how I canhelp my kids thrive.
So that's why I also want toshare that information with you.
I've definitely made mistakesalong the way.
I felt really guilty.
I've let them spend too long onthe screen several times, and
(02:35):
there's been times where it wasreally helpful having them keep
busy on their screens.
So when I needed to getsomething done, like packing up
a house to move, or maybe justgetting dinner made, or even
just sometimes having somepeace.
If you can relate to any ofthose situations, then you're in
good company.
You're not the only personthinking or worrying about this.
(03:00):
And for those of us who areliving internationally and away
from our family or our supportnetwork, there's also a dynamic
with that and screen time.
When you're first settling intoa new country, for example, it
takes a while to get establishedwith activities and friends and
social groups, and the family asa whole might be a little bit
(03:21):
more isolated at first, so maybethere is more downtime and
screens could be filling part ofthat.
Also, in my case, I'm living inone of the hottest parts of the
world where several months, ayear, it is just too hot for the
kids to be playing outdoors.
So I know that's a factor in howmuch we use screens.
(03:41):
Also, if you're a family thattravels a lot during school
holidays, you know, forinstance, going back to your
home country and possibly takinglong haul flights.
I remember from an early age, Ilet my kids watch however much
TV and iPad they wanted on aplane because at that time it
was like survival for me.
(04:01):
I was often traveling by myselfwith them, and it kept the
peace.
It meant that I could eatsomething, I could watch
something.
I never was able to actually napwhile it was just me and them,
but just having a little bit ofpeace and not always having to
entertain them.
So for us, any screen time rulesor boundaries that we had, on
(04:24):
dry land was, they just, it justwent completely out the window
when we were on a plane.
Okay, let's get into this.
So when I think of screen time,I think of two distinct aspects.
The physical use of devices suchas iPads and phones and laptops,
and the impact of that, and thenthe actual content that kids are
(04:46):
consuming.
So the internet safety, socialmedia being quite controversial,
topics which come under content.
So the content will be discussedin another episode because it
really deserves its ownconversation.
So today, let's get back todevice use.
So it's interesting how theconversation around screen time
(05:07):
and technology in general hasevolved over the years.
I remember when the guidelinesfrom organizations such as the
World Health Organization, theNational Health Service in the
UK and the American Academy ofPediatrics, was really focused
on specific time allowances forkids, such as zero to two, no
screen time, age two to five, nomore than one hour daily, et
(05:29):
cetera, et cetera.
And I think after age five.
Their recommendation was no morethan two hours daily, so there
used to be a lot more emphasison the time spent on screens.
I believe the American Academyof Child and Adolescent
Psychiatry does still make arecommendation for children age
two to five to limitnon-educational screen time, to
(05:51):
one hour on weekdays and threehours on the weekend.
The challenge with that thoughis screens are so commonplace in
our schools these days withiPads being used in almost all
subjects.
Now, I know it differs aroundthe world, but most schools have
incorporated iPads or laptops insome way, and the higher the
(06:12):
grade, the more integratedtechnology is for completing
schoolwork.
So by the time children havecome home from school, they've
already been using their screensfor possibly several hours.
And then if your child is oldenough to be getting homework,
that is also often completedeither with the use of a device
or on the device itself.
(06:35):
So those recommended timesaren't even realistic anymore in
many children's cases.
So let's think about some of thereported effects of screens.
In the research literature,excessive screen time has been
associated with sleepdifficulties, obesity, behavior
difficulties, delayed language,eyesight issues, poor academic
(06:59):
performance, poor attention,risky behaviors, cyber bullying,
mental health difficulties.
So this is where it gets evenmore nuanced.
I emphasize the word associatedbecause even the researchers
talk about the fact that it'shard to show in research that
screens have actually causedthose effects.
(07:20):
I am really interested in theresearch which is why I am
grateful for organizations suchas the Institute for Digital
Media and Child Development tobring the research to the public
through webinars, podcastinterviews, and other resources
There are many factors which arerelevant when we look at sleep
and obesity and behavior, etcetera, and screen time often
(07:44):
isn't the only factor that isrelevant in those issues.
The reason I mention this isbecause as parents, if we are
getting our information mostlyfrom social media, at times
scientific research getssensationalized or misreported,
and that can be confusing.
It can give rise to fear andguilt, And the thing is shaming
(08:09):
parents or scaring them is nothelpful.
So that's not to say thatscreens don't contribute to
these difficulties.
I highly recommend if you areinterested in making sense of
the research to check outChildren and Screens, and I'll
link it in the show notes.
(08:30):
Now around the world, manyorganizations who previously
made recommendations for screenuse, time limits have changed,
but what continues to berecommended is for the zero to
18 month population, whichsuggests eliminating screen use
other than video chatting Thereason for this is for babies
and toddlers, learning viascreens is limited, and that has
(08:53):
come out of research with thisage group.
What has been found is thatbabies and toddlers benefit most
from opportunities to exploretheir environment through
movement, through sensoryexperiences, and having a
caregiver to communicate with.
So this is where the mostlanguage and cognitive
development takes place.
(09:15):
If your child is younger than2-year-old and is viewing
screens to get the most benefitfrom that, then co-viewing a
show i.e.
watching it side by side andinteracting with them about it
can potentially enhance thelearning that might come from
it.
But the bottom line is forbabies and toddlers zero to two
(09:35):
is that they learn best throughface-to-face communication and
interaction with a parent or acaregiver or another child.
This type of interaction isdynamic and more likely to
incorporate gestures and facialexpressions and movement and
sensory experiences that willmaximize their learning.
(09:56):
Now that doesn't mean terriblethings will happen.
If you give your toddler yourphone now and again whilst
you're at a restaurant orputting them in front of the TV
so you can shower.
It might not be a significanteducational opportunity for your
child, but obviously it could bean important and much needed
break for you.
We can't just live in service ofour kids all the time.
(10:20):
We have to live in service ofourselves too.
And sometimes that means lettingthem watch something.
For children three to fouryears, the World Health
Organization has givenguidelines that children should
have at least 180 minutes ofphysical activity a day at a
variety of intensities and atleast 60 minutes a day for
(10:42):
moderate to vigorous physicalactivity.
And'cause there's more, not tobe sedentary for more than 60
minutes at a time.
And also that they have 10 to 13hours sleep.
Now I'm mentioning this becauseit ties in with what screen time
often displaces.
(11:02):
So when kids are spending timeevery day on screens after
school or at the weekends, it'soften at the expense of
unstructured play or timeoutside or physical activity.
And so that is one of theaspects of screen time, which
can start to become problematicfor kids.
(11:23):
Now let's talk aboutneurodiversity for a minute.
So using screens does notactually cause ADHD or autism,
and that's really important forparents to know this.
Okay?
So using screens does not causeADHD or autism.
(11:45):
Those are specific neurodivergences.
That would be present for yourchild, whether they used screens
or not.
So using a device itself doesn'tcause those.
However, kids or adults who areneurodivergent may be impacted
by screen use in ways thatneurotypical kids or adults
(12:10):
might not be.
For example, neurodivergent kidsmight struggle a little more
with emotional regulation afterstopping screens, especially if
they have spent a long time onthem.
For kids with A DHD inparticular, I highly recommend
limiting their device use.
A DHD is an executive functiondelay basically, and hours of TV
(12:34):
gaming and YouTube videos is notgoing to support their executive
function development.
Kids with A DHD need to beplaying and interacting and
having varied experiences,getting out of their comfort
zone in order to develop theseexecutive function skills.
Autistic individuals have verydistinctly unique needs, so it's
(12:58):
not really possible togeneralize whether they should
be having less screen time ormore screen time.
You as the parent know yourchild better than anyone, and I
would just suggest tuning intoyour child.
To observe how it impacts theirregulation.
I'm pretty sure I am not theonly parent who over the years
(13:22):
at some point, has had to managemeltdowns or challenging
behavior or defiance afterscreen use.
So this type of response isrelated to a child's emotional
regulation.
So emotional regulation, ifyou're not familiar with this,
is the ability to manage ouremotions, behaviors, and
reactions as a result of ourexperiences.
(13:45):
Now this is a really valuablelife skill that children develop
in the early years.
It's one of the aspects ofexecutive function, which really
underpins everything we do inlife.
Often, what happens if the childis getting overstimulated on a
device?
Then that transition time isthen harder.
Now, the way they develop thisskill of emotional regulation is
(14:09):
through real life practice,through play, through their
experiences at school and withthe family, through interactions
with friends, through beingexposed to situations where they
have to problem solve and managedisappointments or frustrations,
and this is why play is so vitalfor our children as it's
developing this emotionalregulation.
(14:32):
So there's two things here.
If your child is spending a lotof time on a device, they're not
getting enough practice in reallife situations.
And additionally, if wefrequently give our young
children screens to appease themor help calm them down when they
are having a bit of a meltdownor even a tantrum, then they
(14:54):
might be missing out on thatopportunity to develop these
skills of emotional regulation.
So it's in everybody's bestinterests to come up with a plan
that works in your home.
There will be discomfort andthere will be pushback, and that
is natural and it's to beexpected.
(15:15):
So how do we know how much istoo much?
Because I've mentionedexcessive.
time already in this episode,but I haven't really defined it.
So you yourself in your homemight have already figured this
out.
If not, I'm gonna give yousomething to do over the next
week.
(15:35):
I want you to be a detective.
You're gonna carry on with yourregular routines and activities
and just notice, observe yourchild's moods, their sleep,
their reactions, theirresponses, how they transition
from one activity to another.
How are they with getting theirhomework or their family chores
(15:56):
done?
I want you to really tune intoall of that.
now, if you are noticingirritability, increased
impulsivity, anxiety, zoning outafter screen time, difficulty
transitioning to the other,maybe non-preferred activities,
difficulty falling asleep.
Difficulty finding enjoyment outof non-screen related
(16:19):
activities.
Then these could be the signs ofhaving too much time on screens.
If your child is frequentlybecoming dysregulated after
screens, you will need torethink how screens are used in
your home.
Here's three quick suggestions.
Firstly.
You can be in control of settingboundaries of when, where, and
(16:44):
for how long screens are used.
It is ideal to end the screentime before getting to the point
of no return with them.
Now, whether that's 20 minutes,40 minutes, an hour or two,
that, is up to you based on whatyou observe about your child.
(17:04):
Secondly.
Use something like a familymedia plan to guide a discussion
with everybody in the familyabout how screens and devices
are used.
So a family media plan isliterally a document which I'll
put in the show notes for you.
That is an agreement and itshows the the things that you
(17:25):
are agreeing to and they areagreeing to.
And having these kinds ofconversations at a separate time
when everyone is connected andcalm is so much more effective
than having kind of a panicky,irritable moment where you get
frustrated, where your child'sdysregulated, and then you end
(17:46):
up just banning them for a weekor a month as a consequence.
Thirdly, using a visual timer oran analog clock might help your
child visualize the time thatthey have left for screens, and
you might need to give them theheads up when it's close to
ending.
Now it's up to us, like I said,as parents, to set the
(18:07):
boundaries and make somedecisions that our kids, they
don't like.
It's developmentally appropriatefor children to push back and
want some autonomy.
If they're enjoying doing whatthey're doing, then it's natural
for them to want to keep goingjust like we do.
I don't like to have my showinterrupted, and they probably
don't like to have theirsinterrupted.
(18:28):
So if our kids just agreedwithout any opinion of their
own, then we actually mightstart to worry about that too.
So some amount of pushbackreally makes sense.
When a child cannot transitionfrom screens to another activity
without an outburst or ameltdown, then that's a sign
that something really needs tobe tweaked with the routine.
(18:51):
If you have a child who isparticularly into gaming, then
I've got a really good booksuggestion for you.
It's called How to Raise AHealthy Gamer by Dr.
Alok Kanojia What I love aboutthis book is the balanced
approach to gaming.
It's an easy read for parents.
He's a psychiatrist that grew uploving gaming, so he has that
(19:14):
lived experience too.
I'm going to link it in the shownotes for you.
It actually gets into why kidslove gaming so much, what's
happening in the brain, andreally gives some foundational
information about what you as aparent can do to gradually work
with your child to set healthyhabits.
(19:35):
If you are really interested,but you won't have time to read
the entire book, then you cansign up to receive my book
summary that I'll be doing oncea month where I summarize some
of the latest and most valuableparenting books that are around
at the moment.
Now there are a couple of truthsthat we need to face relating to
our kids' screen time.
(19:55):
Kids need as much unstructuredplay as possible in their life,
and this is the main way theydevelop their executive function
skills, which underpin everysingle aspect of their life.
Also, and this is the difficultbit.
As adults, we need to reallyreflect on how we are using
screens and how this influencesthe children in our life.
(20:20):
I learned a really interestingterm recently called
Technoference, which refers tothe interruptions that occur
simply by having phones andother devices in our presence.
That could be notificationsgoing off or just interacting
with someone and still holdingour phone as though at any point
our attention could be diverted.
(20:41):
It's not just about our kidsbeing engrossed in screens, it's
us too.
There is some really interestingresearch happening regarding
tech interference and how itimpacts our relationships with
our children or anyone in thefamily and their development.
Even the TV being on in thebackground when nobody's
watching it has been shown inresearch to impact a child's
(21:04):
attention and engagement in playand the quantity and quality of
parent-child interactions.
How we model our screen habitsreally impacts our children.
They are learning so much fromwhat they see us do.
Has your child ever commented onhow much you check your phone or
asked you to put your phone downduring a conversation?
(21:28):
I have definitely been asked,uh, more than a few times.
Mom, can you not be on yourphone right now?
So think about how you respondto that.
You know, maybe there are timeswhen it is something that has to
be done in that moment.
And one of the things that youcan do, to, preempt that in a
way is it's almost like narratewhat you're doing.
(21:49):
So if you do need to, wait foran incoming message, or if you
do know that you're gonna needto switch your attention and
you've got your phone in yourhand, you can just say it
upfront.
"Now I'm just going to send thismessage then I'll be right with
you" or"I'm all yours".
"Or then we can work onsomething or then we can play."
So if you can do that upfront,then that actually might help
(22:13):
the dynamic between you and yourchild if they are feeling a bit
fed up, that you're on yourphone or you've got your phone
in front of you.
I know that parenting is, it'schallenging and it's sometimes
really stressful.
And I understand that, you know,using our phones to take a
break, whatever we're doing onour phone, whether it's doing
(22:35):
wordle or it's sending a text tosomebody, or if you're just
checking something or if you'rejust connecting with somebody.
We've built in this habit ofdoing those things, as a way
sometimes to help us cope.
I have another bookrecommendation.
It's called The Phone Fix by Dr.
Faye Bag Getti, and she's aneurologist in the uk.
(22:57):
I'll put the reference in theshow notes.
It is a great book and it reallyclearly explains why we have
developed these certain habits.
What's happening in our brainswhen we do these things
automatically, like picking upour phones in the morning before
anything else, or constantlychecking even without fully
realizing it.
I mean, it's wild once you starttuning into these habits, She
(23:20):
also writes in a verynonjudgmental way.
She's not trying to, um, depressyou or scare you.
It's really about understandingthe neuroscience of our habits.
So I really recommend that bookif you, are interested.
So to summarize, we know thatresearch shows links between
(23:42):
screen use and issues withsleep, attention, emotional
regulation, obesity, and ofcourse more research is needed.
There's no specific amount ofscreen time that is either safe
or harmful.
It's more about what yourchildren are actually doing on
the screens that matters.
(24:04):
However, if the amount of screentime gets in the way of being
active unstructured play, andinteracting face-to-face with
friends, then that is when it'sprobably too much.
And reflect on your own screenuse before trying to change your
kids' habits.
(24:24):
You can consider a family mediaplan to help organize or set
boundaries or even just guidethe discussion with your
household.
So reflecting on your own screenuse is so valuable as a first
step to adopting healthierscreen habits in the home.
Coming up with a family plan isone way in which you can all
(24:46):
discuss how and where and when,that you'll use the screens and
decide what works for you as afamily so that you can all enjoy
screen time and still make timefor other activities and
responsibilities.
And finally, I just want to saythat as parents and caregivers,
we are all doing our best.
(25:06):
You haven't ruined your child byletting them watch TV so you can
take a break or putting cartoonson your phone at a restaurant,
or even if they have playedFortnite with their friends.
There are so many experiencesthat impact a child's
development and their wellbeing,and this is one part of that.
(25:28):
So wherever you are at withthis, tuning into your own
habits and tuning into yourchild's wellbeing is a great
starting point.
So keep going.
Thanks so much for listening.
If you'd like to get in touch,please do.
You can email me on globally dotthriving@gmail.com, or you can
(25:50):
find me on Instagram atGlobally_ Thriving.
Also, if you check out mywebsite, globally thriving.com,
you can sign up to receive amonthly book summary, which is a
handy summary of the latestparenting books straight to your
inbox.
Thank you so much for listening.
See you next time.
Are you a parent or caregiverraising your child
internationally?
Are you curious about how tonurture your child's
development?
But find all the parentinginformation out there confusing?
If so, you are in the rightplace.
Welcome to the Globally ThrivingFamilies Podcast.
I'm your host, Clare O'Byrne, aparent coach and occupational
(00:26):
therapist with a passion forsupporting children and their
families for more than 25 years.
Whether it's understanding howto build resilience to practical
tips for language development,screen time challenges, and
staying calm amongst the chaos,Globally Thriving Families is
here to help.
(00:46):
Join me as we explore the topicsthat give you the insights and
guidance you need to supportyour children to thrive.
No matter where your family'sadventures take you.
Hi there.
So today we are talking aboutscreen time.
(01:07):
It's going to be the first of afew episodes all about screen
related issues, and it's quitean emotionally charged topic in
parenting at the moment.
I know my social media.
Feed is full of opinions aboutkids and screens.
It's talked about in the news indocumentaries between friends.
Even schools are discussing itin their newsletters and they're
(01:30):
having parent workshops that aredevoted to it.
So what I want to do is offersome considerations to you when
evaluating the whole familyscreen habits rather than just
demonizing screens and makingyou feel guilty.
I think it's really valuable tothink about the nuances of
(01:50):
screen use rather than justhaving a black and white
approach to it.
And having said that, sometimeswe also have to face up to some
truths about what we allow tohappen at home, myself included,
so we will explore that a littlebit too.
Now, full disclosure, I don'thave all the answers here.
I have an 11 and a 13-year-old,and I'm really invested in
(02:15):
looking at the research andlearning from experts, about the
impact of screens and how I canhelp my kids thrive.
So that's why I also want toshare that information with you.
I've definitely made mistakesalong the way.
I felt really guilty.
I've let them spend too long onthe screen several times, and
(02:35):
there's been times where it wasreally helpful having them keep
busy on their screens.
So when I needed to getsomething done, like packing up
a house to move, or maybe justgetting dinner made, or even
just sometimes having somepeace.
If you can relate to any ofthose situations, then you're in
good company.
You're not the only personthinking or worrying about this.
(03:00):
And for those of us who areliving internationally and away
from our family or our supportnetwork, there's also a dynamic
with that and screen time.
When you're first settling intoa new country, for example, it
takes a while to get establishedwith activities and friends and
social groups, and the family asa whole might be a little bit
(03:21):
more isolated at first, so maybethere is more downtime and
screens could be filling part ofthat.
Also, in my case, I'm living inone of the hottest parts of the
world where several months, ayear, it is just too hot for the
kids to be playing outdoors.
So I know that's a factor in howmuch we use screens.
(03:41):
Also, if you're a family thattravels a lot during school
holidays, you know, forinstance, going back to your
home country and possibly takinglong haul flights.
I remember from an early age, Ilet my kids watch however much
TV and iPad they wanted on aplane because at that time it
was like survival for me.
(04:01):
I was often traveling by myselfwith them, and it kept the
peace.
It meant that I could eatsomething, I could watch
something.
I never was able to actually napwhile it was just me and them,
but just having a little bit ofpeace and not always having to
entertain them.
So for us, any screen time rulesor boundaries that we had, on
(04:24):
dry land was, they just, it justwent completely out the window
when we were on a plane.
Okay, let's get into this.
So when I think of screen time,I think of two distinct aspects.
The physical use of devices suchas iPads and phones and laptops,
and the impact of that, and thenthe actual content that kids are
(04:46):
consuming.
So the internet safety, socialmedia being quite controversial,
topics which come under content.
So the content will be discussedin another episode because it
really deserves its ownconversation.
So today, let's get back todevice use.
So it's interesting how theconversation around screen time
(05:07):
and technology in general hasevolved over the years.
I remember when the guidelinesfrom organizations such as the
World Health Organization, theNational Health Service in the
UK and the American Academy ofPediatrics, was really focused
on specific time allowances forkids, such as zero to two, no
screen time, age two to five, nomore than one hour daily, et
(05:29):
cetera, et cetera.
And I think after age five.
Their recommendation was no morethan two hours daily, so there
used to be a lot more emphasison the time spent on screens.
I believe the American Academyof Child and Adolescent
Psychiatry does still make arecommendation for children age
two to five to limitnon-educational screen time, to
(05:51):
one hour on weekdays and threehours on the weekend.
The challenge with that thoughis screens are so commonplace in
our schools these days withiPads being used in almost all
subjects.
Now, I know it differs aroundthe world, but most schools have
incorporated iPads or laptops insome way, and the higher the
(06:12):
grade, the more integratedtechnology is for completing
schoolwork.
So by the time children havecome home from school, they've
already been using their screensfor possibly several hours.
And then if your child is oldenough to be getting homework,
that is also often completedeither with the use of a device
or on the device itself.
(06:35):
So those recommended timesaren't even realistic anymore in
many children's cases.
So let's think about some of thereported effects of screens.
In the research literature,excessive screen time has been
associated with sleepdifficulties, obesity, behavior
difficulties, delayed language,eyesight issues, poor academic
(06:59):
performance, poor attention,risky behaviors, cyber bullying,
mental health difficulties.
So this is where it gets evenmore nuanced.
I emphasize the word associatedbecause even the researchers
talk about the fact that it'shard to show in research that
screens have actually causedthose effects.
(07:20):
I am really interested in theresearch which is why I am
grateful for organizations suchas the Institute for Digital
Media and Child Development tobring the research to the public
through webinars, podcastinterviews, and other resources
There are many factors which arerelevant when we look at sleep
and obesity and behavior, etcetera, and screen time often
(07:44):
isn't the only factor that isrelevant in those issues.
The reason I mention this isbecause as parents, if we are
getting our information mostlyfrom social media, at times
scientific research getssensationalized or misreported,
and that can be confusing.
It can give rise to fear andguilt, And the thing is shaming
(08:09):
parents or scaring them is nothelpful.
So that's not to say thatscreens don't contribute to
these difficulties.
I highly recommend if you areinterested in making sense of
the research to check outChildren and Screens, and I'll
link it in the show notes.
(08:30):
Now around the world, manyorganizations who previously
made recommendations for screenuse, time limits have changed,
but what continues to berecommended is for the zero to
18 month population, whichsuggests eliminating screen use
other than video chatting Thereason for this is for babies
and toddlers, learning viascreens is limited, and that has
(08:53):
come out of research with thisage group.
What has been found is thatbabies and toddlers benefit most
from opportunities to exploretheir environment through
movement, through sensoryexperiences, and having a
caregiver to communicate with.
So this is where the mostlanguage and cognitive
development takes place.
(09:15):
If your child is younger than2-year-old and is viewing
screens to get the most benefitfrom that, then co-viewing a
show i.e.
watching it side by side andinteracting with them about it
can potentially enhance thelearning that might come from
it.
But the bottom line is forbabies and toddlers zero to two
(09:35):
is that they learn best throughface-to-face communication and
interaction with a parent or acaregiver or another child.
This type of interaction isdynamic and more likely to
incorporate gestures and facialexpressions and movement and
sensory experiences that willmaximize their learning.
(09:56):
Now that doesn't mean terriblethings will happen.
If you give your toddler yourphone now and again whilst
you're at a restaurant orputting them in front of the TV
so you can shower.
It might not be a significanteducational opportunity for your
child, but obviously it could bean important and much needed
break for you.
We can't just live in service ofour kids all the time.
(10:20):
We have to live in service ofourselves too.
And sometimes that means lettingthem watch something.
For children three to fouryears, the World Health
Organization has givenguidelines that children should
have at least 180 minutes ofphysical activity a day at a
variety of intensities and atleast 60 minutes a day for
(10:42):
moderate to vigorous physicalactivity.
And'cause there's more, not tobe sedentary for more than 60
minutes at a time.
And also that they have 10 to 13hours sleep.
Now I'm mentioning this becauseit ties in with what screen time
often displaces.
(11:02):
So when kids are spending timeevery day on screens after
school or at the weekends, it'soften at the expense of
unstructured play or timeoutside or physical activity.
And so that is one of theaspects of screen time, which
can start to become problematicfor kids.
(11:23):
Now let's talk aboutneurodiversity for a minute.
So using screens does notactually cause ADHD or autism,
and that's really important forparents to know this.
Okay?
So using screens does not causeADHD or autism.
(11:45):
Those are specific neurodivergences.
That would be present for yourchild, whether they used screens
or not.
So using a device itself doesn'tcause those.
However, kids or adults who areneurodivergent may be impacted
by screen use in ways thatneurotypical kids or adults
(12:10):
might not be.
For example, neurodivergent kidsmight struggle a little more
with emotional regulation afterstopping screens, especially if
they have spent a long time onthem.
For kids with A DHD inparticular, I highly recommend
limiting their device use.
A DHD is an executive functiondelay basically, and hours of TV
(12:34):
gaming and YouTube videos is notgoing to support their executive
function development.
Kids with A DHD need to beplaying and interacting and
having varied experiences,getting out of their comfort
zone in order to develop theseexecutive function skills.
Autistic individuals have verydistinctly unique needs, so it's
(12:58):
not really possible togeneralize whether they should
be having less screen time ormore screen time.
You as the parent know yourchild better than anyone, and I
would just suggest tuning intoyour child.
To observe how it impacts theirregulation.
I'm pretty sure I am not theonly parent who over the years
(13:22):
at some point, has had to managemeltdowns or challenging
behavior or defiance afterscreen use.
So this type of response isrelated to a child's emotional
regulation.
So emotional regulation, ifyou're not familiar with this,
is the ability to manage ouremotions, behaviors, and
reactions as a result of ourexperiences.
(13:45):
Now this is a really valuablelife skill that children develop
in the early years.
It's one of the aspects ofexecutive function, which really
underpins everything we do inlife.
Often, what happens if the childis getting overstimulated on a
device?
Then that transition time isthen harder.
Now, the way they develop thisskill of emotional regulation is
(14:09):
through real life practice,through play, through their
experiences at school and withthe family, through interactions
with friends, through beingexposed to situations where they
have to problem solve and managedisappointments or frustrations,
and this is why play is so vitalfor our children as it's
developing this emotionalregulation.
(14:32):
So there's two things here.
If your child is spending a lotof time on a device, they're not
getting enough practice in reallife situations.
And additionally, if wefrequently give our young
children screens to appease themor help calm them down when they
are having a bit of a meltdownor even a tantrum, then they
(14:54):
might be missing out on thatopportunity to develop these
skills of emotional regulation.
So it's in everybody's bestinterests to come up with a plan
that works in your home.
There will be discomfort andthere will be pushback, and that
is natural and it's to beexpected.
(15:15):
So how do we know how much istoo much?
Because I've mentionedexcessive.
time already in this episode,but I haven't really defined it.
So you yourself in your homemight have already figured this
out.
If not, I'm gonna give yousomething to do over the next
week.
(15:35):
I want you to be a detective.
You're gonna carry on with yourregular routines and activities
and just notice, observe yourchild's moods, their sleep,
their reactions, theirresponses, how they transition
from one activity to another.
How are they with getting theirhomework or their family chores
(15:56):
done?
I want you to really tune intoall of that.
now, if you are noticingirritability, increased
impulsivity, anxiety, zoning outafter screen time, difficulty
transitioning to the other,maybe non-preferred activities,
difficulty falling asleep.
Difficulty finding enjoyment outof non-screen related
(16:19):
activities.
Then these could be the signs ofhaving too much time on screens.
If your child is frequentlybecoming dysregulated after
screens, you will need torethink how screens are used in
your home.
Here's three quick suggestions.
Firstly.
You can be in control of settingboundaries of when, where, and
(16:44):
for how long screens are used.
It is ideal to end the screentime before getting to the point
of no return with them.
Now, whether that's 20 minutes,40 minutes, an hour or two,
that, is up to you based on whatyou observe about your child.
(17:04):
Secondly.
Use something like a familymedia plan to guide a discussion
with everybody in the familyabout how screens and devices
are used.
So a family media plan isliterally a document which I'll
put in the show notes for you.
That is an agreement and itshows the the things that you
(17:25):
are agreeing to and they areagreeing to.
And having these kinds ofconversations at a separate time
when everyone is connected andcalm is so much more effective
than having kind of a panicky,irritable moment where you get
frustrated, where your child'sdysregulated, and then you end
(17:46):
up just banning them for a weekor a month as a consequence.
Thirdly, using a visual timer oran analog clock might help your
child visualize the time thatthey have left for screens, and
you might need to give them theheads up when it's close to
ending.
Now it's up to us, like I said,as parents, to set the
(18:07):
boundaries and make somedecisions that our kids, they
don't like.
It's developmentally appropriatefor children to push back and
want some autonomy.
If they're enjoying doing whatthey're doing, then it's natural
for them to want to keep goingjust like we do.
I don't like to have my showinterrupted, and they probably
don't like to have theirsinterrupted.
(18:28):
So if our kids just agreedwithout any opinion of their
own, then we actually mightstart to worry about that too.
So some amount of pushbackreally makes sense.
When a child cannot transitionfrom screens to another activity
without an outburst or ameltdown, then that's a sign
that something really needs tobe tweaked with the routine.
(18:51):
If you have a child who isparticularly into gaming, then
I've got a really good booksuggestion for you.
It's called How to Raise AHealthy Gamer by Dr.
Alok Kanojia What I love aboutthis book is the balanced
approach to gaming.
It's an easy read for parents.
He's a psychiatrist that grew uploving gaming, so he has that
(19:14):
lived experience too.
I'm going to link it in the shownotes for you.
It actually gets into why kidslove gaming so much, what's
happening in the brain, andreally gives some foundational
information about what you as aparent can do to gradually work
with your child to set healthyhabits.
(19:35):
If you are really interested,but you won't have time to read
the entire book, then you cansign up to receive my book
summary that I'll be doing oncea month where I summarize some
of the latest and most valuableparenting books that are around
at the moment.
Now there are a couple of truthsthat we need to face relating to
our kids' screen time.
(19:55):
Kids need as much unstructuredplay as possible in their life,
and this is the main way theydevelop their executive function
skills, which underpin everysingle aspect of their life.
Also, and this is the difficultbit.
As adults, we need to reallyreflect on how we are using
screens and how this influencesthe children in our life.
(20:20):
I learned a really interestingterm recently called
Technoference, which refers tothe interruptions that occur
simply by having phones andother devices in our presence.
That could be notificationsgoing off or just interacting
with someone and still holdingour phone as though at any point
our attention could be diverted.
(20:41):
It's not just about our kidsbeing engrossed in screens, it's
us too.
There is some really interestingresearch happening regarding
tech interference and how itimpacts our relationships with
our children or anyone in thefamily and their development.
Even the TV being on in thebackground when nobody's
watching it has been shown inresearch to impact a child's
(21:04):
attention and engagement in playand the quantity and quality of
parent-child interactions.
How we model our screen habitsreally impacts our children.
They are learning so much fromwhat they see us do.
Has your child ever commented onhow much you check your phone or
asked you to put your phone downduring a conversation?
(21:28):
I have definitely been asked,uh, more than a few times.
Mom, can you not be on yourphone right now?
So think about how you respondto that.
You know, maybe there are timeswhen it is something that has to
be done in that moment.
And one of the things that youcan do, to, preempt that in a
way is it's almost like narratewhat you're doing.
(21:49):
So if you do need to, wait foran incoming message, or if you
do know that you're gonna needto switch your attention and
you've got your phone in yourhand, you can just say it
upfront.
"Now I'm just going to send thismessage then I'll be right with
you" or"I'm all yours".
"Or then we can work onsomething or then we can play."
So if you can do that upfront,then that actually might help
(22:13):
the dynamic between you and yourchild if they are feeling a bit
fed up, that you're on yourphone or you've got your phone
in front of you.
I know that parenting is, it'schallenging and it's sometimes
really stressful.
And I understand that, you know,using our phones to take a
break, whatever we're doing onour phone, whether it's doing
(22:35):
wordle or it's sending a text tosomebody, or if you're just
checking something or if you'rejust connecting with somebody.
We've built in this habit ofdoing those things, as a way
sometimes to help us cope.
I have another bookrecommendation.
It's called The Phone Fix by Dr.
Faye Bag Getti, and she's aneurologist in the uk.
(22:57):
I'll put the reference in theshow notes.
It is a great book and it reallyclearly explains why we have
developed these certain habits.
What's happening in our brainswhen we do these things
automatically, like picking upour phones in the morning before
anything else, or constantlychecking even without fully
realizing it.
I mean, it's wild once you starttuning into these habits, She
(23:20):
also writes in a verynonjudgmental way.
She's not trying to, um, depressyou or scare you.
It's really about understandingthe neuroscience of our habits.
So I really recommend that bookif you, are interested.
So to summarize, we know thatresearch shows links between
(23:42):
screen use and issues withsleep, attention, emotional
regulation, obesity, and ofcourse more research is needed.
There's no specific amount ofscreen time that is either safe
or harmful.
It's more about what yourchildren are actually doing on
the screens that matters.
(24:04):
However, if the amount of screentime gets in the way of being
active unstructured play, andinteracting face-to-face with
friends, then that is when it'sprobably too much.
And reflect on your own screenuse before trying to change your
kids' habits.
(24:24):
You can consider a family mediaplan to help organize or set
boundaries or even just guidethe discussion with your
household.
So reflecting on your own screenuse is so valuable as a first
step to adopting healthierscreen habits in the home.
Coming up with a family plan isone way in which you can all
(24:46):
discuss how and where and when,that you'll use the screens and
decide what works for you as afamily so that you can all enjoy
screen time and still make timefor other activities and
responsibilities.
And finally, I just want to saythat as parents and caregivers,
we are all doing our best.
(25:06):
You haven't ruined your child byletting them watch TV so you can
take a break or putting cartoonson your phone at a restaurant,
or even if they have playedFortnite with their friends.
There are so many experiencesthat impact a child's
development and their wellbeing,and this is one part of that.
(25:28):
So wherever you are at withthis, tuning into your own
habits and tuning into yourchild's wellbeing is a great
starting point.
So keep going.
Thanks so much for listening.
If you'd like to get in touch,please do.
You can email me on globally dotthriving@gmail.com, or you can
(25:50):
find me on Instagram atGlobally_ Thriving.
Also, if you check out mywebsite, globally thriving.com,
you can sign up to receive amonthly book summary, which is a
handy summary of the latestparenting books straight to your
inbox.
Thank you so much for listening.
See you next time.
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