July 14, 2025 • 11 mins
Embracing Boredom: Strategies for International Parents
In this episode of Globally Thriving Families, host Clare O'Byrne discusses the challenges and benefits of boredom for children, especially during school holidays. She explores why boredom is beneficial for developing executive function skills and offers practical strategies for parents to help their children manage boredom without constantly needing to provide entertainment. Clare emphasizes the importance of starting with safe activities, brainstorming creative ideas, and ensuring that children's sensory needs are met. The episode aims to provide insights and support for parents navigating the complexities of raising children internationally.
00:00 Introduction to Globally Thriving Families
01:02 Summer Shorts: Addressing 'I'm Bored'
02:36 The Benefits of Boredom
03:48 Challenges of Boredom for Different Kids
05:30 Practical Tips to Scaffold Boredom
06:17 Creative Ideas to Combat Boredom
08:58 Ensuring Regulation Before Activities
10:08 Final Thoughts and Encouragement
11:05 Stay Connected and Further Support
Connect with Clare: globally.thriving@gmail.com
Website: https://www.globallythriving.com
Connect with Clare on Instagram: http://instagram.com/globally_thriving
Book a free 20 minute call with Clare: https://tidycal.com/globallythriving/20-minute-meeting
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:04):
Are you a parent or caregiverraising your child
internationally?
Are you curious about how tonurture your child's
development?
But find all the parentinginformation out there confusing?
If so, you are in the rightplace.
Welcome to the Globally ThrivingFamilies Podcast.
I'm your host, Clare O'Byrne, aparent coach and occupational
(00:27):
therapist with a passion forsupporting children and their
families for more than 25 years.
Whether it's understanding howto build resilience to practical
tips for language development,screen time challenges, and
staying calm amongst the chaos,Globally Thriving Families is
here to help.
(00:47):
Join me as we explore the topicsthat give you the insights and
guidance you need to supportyour children to thrive.
No matter where your family'sadventures take you.
Hello and welcome back toanother episode of Globally
Thriving Families, and this isthe second of my summer shorts
(01:10):
episode, which is basically bitesized episodes during the school
holidays that is gonna give youencouragement, some insight, and
practical support forinternational parenting.
Today I want to talk about thephrase parents hear quite a bit,
particularly in the schoolholidays.
(01:31):
How do you feel and respond whenyou hear your kids exclaim," i'm
bored".
I know those words can be quitegrating because now it seems
there's a problem to solve onour part.
Do you ever feel that pressureto fill every moment, especially
in the long school holidays withstuff to entertain our kids?
(01:55):
And I do realize that sometimesthat is absolutely out of
necessity, such as when bothparents are working and having
to be really intentional andstructured and account for our
kids' time whilst we're not withthem.
But I'm thinking about thesummer camps and the play dates
and the day trips and outingsand activities that we've seen
(02:17):
on Pinterest.
It's almost as if we have somediscomfort with our kids
boredom.
Now you've probably heard advicerecommending to'let them be
bored', and that is great intheory because boredom is really
beneficial, but it's not assimple as that.
And you may already know this,but if not, let's quickly go
(02:40):
through it.
The reason why boredom isbeneficial for kids is that it
creates an opportunity for usingand developing the all important
executive function skills.
So these are those skills thatcome from the prefrontal cortex
in the brain, which is k ind oflike our brain's air traffic
control system.
So skills such as working memoryand reasoning and prioritizing
(03:04):
and planning and organizationand inhibition and emotional
regulation.
They are just some of theexecutive functions skills that
we develop.
Now.
boredom is brilliant because itcreates space for imagination
and creativity and problemsolving, and also practicing
(03:25):
frustration tolerance.
So basically moving through theinitial discomfort of not having
something concrete to do.
These skills are essentialthroughout our life, and they
only really develop throughhaving the opportunities to
practice them.
But the issue is the idea ofjust let your kids be bored,
(03:46):
also needs some nuance.
Not all kids experience boredomthe same way.
Also, as I asked that questionat the beginning, how do you
feel when your child says, I'mbored?
Because sometimes we parents canalso feel the urge to solve
boredom as quickly as possible.
Now, there could be many reasonswhy we do this.
(04:08):
Parents are so oftenoverstimulated and overwhelmed
at different times in theirparenting life, and having to
keep everyone engaged and safeis just another thing to add to
the plate.
You may have experienced thiswith your child, or if you have
more than one child, perhapsyou've noticed that one of them
seems to handle boredomdifferently to the other.
(04:31):
Now that makes total sensebecause our brains are unique
and therefore we have differentways of experiencing the world
around us.
Also, if your child isneurodivergent or highly
sensitive or anxious, boredomcan actually be really
unsettling and even distressing.
Definitely not relaxing orinspiring, and sometimes can
(04:52):
lead a child to become quitedysregulated.
When it gets to that point, theprefrontal cortex goes offline,
and those skills that boredom issupposed to develop and use are
not being recruited ordeveloped.
Not only is that a lostopportunity, but it's now
possibly also become somethingbigger and more stressful to
deal with.
(05:13):
So if that happens in yourhouse, I can understand why you
might be reluctant to createspace for boredom.
But how can you scaffold boredomfor your child so that they can
develop these skills without youfeeling like you're the
entertainment coordinator in thehousehold 24/7?
Here's some practicalsuggestions that I'm gonna offer
(05:34):
you that come from both my livedexperience as a parent and my
professional experience as an OTand parent coach.
Now with the kids that have aharder time with boredom, there
could be many reasons whyexactly.
The open-endedness of boredomcan be really challenging for
kids who thrive on structure andrules.
(05:56):
And if they already have somechallenges with their executive
function skills, they might notbe quite ready for initiating
the tasks all on their own andmanaging the discomfort around
that.
So it's a bit of a catch 22.
Boredom helps develop executivefunction, but embracing boredom
also requires these skills.
(06:17):
Here's three ideas you can thinkabout trying.
Firstly, start with somethingsafe, then explore.
If your child struggles withboredom, then expecting them to
get on with it might just be toomuch.
We have this phrase in childdevelopment called the'just
right challenge.' That meansoffering a task or an experience
(06:37):
that's not too easy, which couldbe boring, not too hard, which
could be overwhelming, but justenough to peak curiosity and
stretch their skills a littlebit.
So start with an activity thatyou can get set up.
Nothing fancy, whether it's artmaterials or construction toys.
And I love anything to do withrecycling because there's so
(07:01):
many ideas that can come out ofthat.
and encourage them with somecuriosity of your own, such as,
"oh, I wonder what you can makewith this.?" Pick something that
you know they will enjoy.
And work alongside theminitially just to get them
started.
Now, an older child or a tween,might just need some materials
left out as a bit of aninvitation to engage.
(07:23):
And once they get started, youcan gently retreat from the
activity and let them extend itthemselves.
Try not to direct them too muchor tell them what to do with the
materials, because we do wantour kids to start creating and
leading themselves in play.
Secondly, you can also maybebefore the fact, brainstorm with
(07:45):
them a list of things.
Write them down on a piece ofpaper, fold up the papers for
them to maybe pick out of a bowlor a jar at any point during the
school holidays.
So encourage them to think of afew crazy or silly things too.
So you can have the usualstandard things like the puzzles
or the coloring, and then put ina few playful things too, like
(08:08):
maybe only walk backwards aroundthe house for five minutes, or
put on as many of your clothesas possible.
I did this once with my son whenhe was about seven, and I think
we got about 45 minutes of, um,independent play out of it.
It was pretty funny.
If they're a bit older, maybethey can make a stop motion
video with their Lego people orbuild something out of
(08:31):
recyclables.
You know, there are tons ofdifferent things that could be
done depending on your child'sdevelopmental level and
interest.
But if you can brainstorm withthem ahead of time and create
this sort of, uh, menu orresource for them that you can
get them to go to and pick anidea out of the jar every once
in a while when they say thatthey're bored, then that might
(08:54):
be one way of, um, just gettingthrough that tricky moment.
Thirdly, make sure that everyoneis actually regulated first.
So if your kid is coming to youand saying they're bored and
they're getting grumpy.
Tune into the sensory needsfirst.
So are they hungry?
Are they tired?
(09:14):
Are they actually needing someco-regulation and connection?
Do they need some heavy work?
Now, I've talked about all ofthese concepts in previous
episodes, so if you haven't hada chance to listen, you can go
back to them.
They're a very quick listen., Ifyou can attend to those sensory
needs first, that is gonna helpyour child cope with that
(09:37):
feeling of boredom.
If you want your child to do anactivity that is a more calm
activity, then they need to havea regulated nervous system to be
able to do that.
So using heavy work or movementbeforehand, such as a trip to
the park or building a fort ordoing animal walks around the
(09:57):
apartment or house might be agood warmup activity first,
because then you'll have abetter chance of stretching out
some independent play.
So they are three ideas that youcan apply to your own
circumstances with your child,and when your child proclaims,
I'm bored this week or nextweek, pause for a few seconds
(10:20):
before responding.
Take a breath.
Don't rush into fixing it.
Think about those three things.
So giving a head, startbrainstorming with fun ideas and
tuning into their other sensoryneeds.
Remember that embracing boredomis a skill and skill develop
(10:42):
over time and with practice.
It doesn't happen overnight.
Boredom involves many executivefunction skills.
So I hope that having thisinsight will mean that you can
give both your child andyourself some grace when
managing boredom over the longschool holidays.
Thanks so much for listening andsee you next time.
(11:05):
If anything in this episodesparked something for you, I'd
love to hear about it.
You can find me on Instagram atglobally_thriving, or you can
reach out to me on my website.
Globally thriving.com Also, ifyou are curious about parent
coaching and if it might beright for you, you can book free
(11:27):
20 minute call via the link inthe show notes, and we can have
a no pressure conversation justto find out more about it.
See you next time.
Are you a parent or caregiverraising your child
internationally?
Are you curious about how tonurture your child's
development?
But find all the parentinginformation out there confusing?
If so, you are in the rightplace.
Welcome to the Globally ThrivingFamilies Podcast.
I'm your host, Clare O'Byrne, aparent coach and occupational
(00:27):
therapist with a passion forsupporting children and their
families for more than 25 years.
Whether it's understanding howto build resilience to practical
tips for language development,screen time challenges, and
staying calm amongst the chaos,Globally Thriving Families is
here to help.
(00:47):
Join me as we explore the topicsthat give you the insights and
guidance you need to supportyour children to thrive.
No matter where your family'sadventures take you.
Hello and welcome back toanother episode of Globally
Thriving Families, and this isthe second of my summer shorts
(01:10):
episode, which is basically bitesized episodes during the school
holidays that is gonna give youencouragement, some insight, and
practical support forinternational parenting.
Today I want to talk about thephrase parents hear quite a bit,
particularly in the schoolholidays.
(01:31):
How do you feel and respond whenyou hear your kids exclaim," i'm
bored".
I know those words can be quitegrating because now it seems
there's a problem to solve onour part.
Do you ever feel that pressureto fill every moment, especially
in the long school holidays withstuff to entertain our kids?
(01:55):
And I do realize that sometimesthat is absolutely out of
necessity, such as when bothparents are working and having
to be really intentional andstructured and account for our
kids' time whilst we're not withthem.
But I'm thinking about thesummer camps and the play dates
and the day trips and outingsand activities that we've seen
(02:17):
on Pinterest.
It's almost as if we have somediscomfort with our kids
boredom.
Now you've probably heard advicerecommending to'let them be
bored', and that is great intheory because boredom is really
beneficial, but it's not assimple as that.
And you may already know this,but if not, let's quickly go
(02:40):
through it.
The reason why boredom isbeneficial for kids is that it
creates an opportunity for usingand developing the all important
executive function skills.
So these are those skills thatcome from the prefrontal cortex
in the brain, which is k ind oflike our brain's air traffic
control system.
So skills such as working memoryand reasoning and prioritizing
(03:04):
and planning and organizationand inhibition and emotional
regulation.
They are just some of theexecutive functions skills that
we develop.
Now.
boredom is brilliant because itcreates space for imagination
and creativity and problemsolving, and also practicing
(03:25):
frustration tolerance.
So basically moving through theinitial discomfort of not having
something concrete to do.
These skills are essentialthroughout our life, and they
only really develop throughhaving the opportunities to
practice them.
But the issue is the idea ofjust let your kids be bored,
(03:46):
also needs some nuance.
Not all kids experience boredomthe same way.
Also, as I asked that questionat the beginning, how do you
feel when your child says, I'mbored?
Because sometimes we parents canalso feel the urge to solve
boredom as quickly as possible.
Now, there could be many reasonswhy we do this.
(04:08):
Parents are so oftenoverstimulated and overwhelmed
at different times in theirparenting life, and having to
keep everyone engaged and safeis just another thing to add to
the plate.
You may have experienced thiswith your child, or if you have
more than one child, perhapsyou've noticed that one of them
seems to handle boredomdifferently to the other.
(04:31):
Now that makes total sensebecause our brains are unique
and therefore we have differentways of experiencing the world
around us.
Also, if your child isneurodivergent or highly
sensitive or anxious, boredomcan actually be really
unsettling and even distressing.
Definitely not relaxing orinspiring, and sometimes can
(04:52):
lead a child to become quitedysregulated.
When it gets to that point, theprefrontal cortex goes offline,
and those skills that boredom issupposed to develop and use are
not being recruited ordeveloped.
Not only is that a lostopportunity, but it's now
possibly also become somethingbigger and more stressful to
deal with.
(05:13):
So if that happens in yourhouse, I can understand why you
might be reluctant to createspace for boredom.
But how can you scaffold boredomfor your child so that they can
develop these skills without youfeeling like you're the
entertainment coordinator in thehousehold 24/7?
Here's some practicalsuggestions that I'm gonna offer
(05:34):
you that come from both my livedexperience as a parent and my
professional experience as an OTand parent coach.
Now with the kids that have aharder time with boredom, there
could be many reasons whyexactly.
The open-endedness of boredomcan be really challenging for
kids who thrive on structure andrules.
(05:56):
And if they already have somechallenges with their executive
function skills, they might notbe quite ready for initiating
the tasks all on their own andmanaging the discomfort around
that.
So it's a bit of a catch 22.
Boredom helps develop executivefunction, but embracing boredom
also requires these skills.
(06:17):
Here's three ideas you can thinkabout trying.
Firstly, start with somethingsafe, then explore.
If your child struggles withboredom, then expecting them to
get on with it might just be toomuch.
We have this phrase in childdevelopment called the'just
right challenge.' That meansoffering a task or an experience
(06:37):
that's not too easy, which couldbe boring, not too hard, which
could be overwhelming, but justenough to peak curiosity and
stretch their skills a littlebit.
So start with an activity thatyou can get set up.
Nothing fancy, whether it's artmaterials or construction toys.
And I love anything to do withrecycling because there's so
(07:01):
many ideas that can come out ofthat.
and encourage them with somecuriosity of your own, such as,
"oh, I wonder what you can makewith this.?" Pick something that
you know they will enjoy.
And work alongside theminitially just to get them
started.
Now, an older child or a tween,might just need some materials
left out as a bit of aninvitation to engage.
(07:23):
And once they get started, youcan gently retreat from the
activity and let them extend itthemselves.
Try not to direct them too muchor tell them what to do with the
materials, because we do wantour kids to start creating and
leading themselves in play.
Secondly, you can also maybebefore the fact, brainstorm with
(07:45):
them a list of things.
Write them down on a piece ofpaper, fold up the papers for
them to maybe pick out of a bowlor a jar at any point during the
school holidays.
So encourage them to think of afew crazy or silly things too.
So you can have the usualstandard things like the puzzles
or the coloring, and then put ina few playful things too, like
(08:08):
maybe only walk backwards aroundthe house for five minutes, or
put on as many of your clothesas possible.
I did this once with my son whenhe was about seven, and I think
we got about 45 minutes of, um,independent play out of it.
It was pretty funny.
If they're a bit older, maybethey can make a stop motion
video with their Lego people orbuild something out of
(08:31):
recyclables.
You know, there are tons ofdifferent things that could be
done depending on your child'sdevelopmental level and
interest.
But if you can brainstorm withthem ahead of time and create
this sort of, uh, menu orresource for them that you can
get them to go to and pick anidea out of the jar every once
in a while when they say thatthey're bored, then that might
(08:54):
be one way of, um, just gettingthrough that tricky moment.
Thirdly, make sure that everyoneis actually regulated first.
So if your kid is coming to youand saying they're bored and
they're getting grumpy.
Tune into the sensory needsfirst.
So are they hungry?
Are they tired?
(09:14):
Are they actually needing someco-regulation and connection?
Do they need some heavy work?
Now, I've talked about all ofthese concepts in previous
episodes, so if you haven't hada chance to listen, you can go
back to them.
They're a very quick listen., Ifyou can attend to those sensory
needs first, that is gonna helpyour child cope with that
(09:37):
feeling of boredom.
If you want your child to do anactivity that is a more calm
activity, then they need to havea regulated nervous system to be
able to do that.
So using heavy work or movementbeforehand, such as a trip to
the park or building a fort ordoing animal walks around the
(09:57):
apartment or house might be agood warmup activity first,
because then you'll have abetter chance of stretching out
some independent play.
So they are three ideas that youcan apply to your own
circumstances with your child,and when your child proclaims,
I'm bored this week or nextweek, pause for a few seconds
(10:20):
before responding.
Take a breath.
Don't rush into fixing it.
Think about those three things.
So giving a head, startbrainstorming with fun ideas and
tuning into their other sensoryneeds.
Remember that embracing boredomis a skill and skill develop
(10:42):
over time and with practice.
It doesn't happen overnight.
Boredom involves many executivefunction skills.
So I hope that having thisinsight will mean that you can
give both your child andyourself some grace when
managing boredom over the longschool holidays.
Thanks so much for listening andsee you next time.
(11:05):
If anything in this episodesparked something for you, I'd
love to hear about it.
You can find me on Instagram atglobally_thriving, or you can
reach out to me on my website.
Globally thriving.com Also, ifyou are curious about parent
coaching and if it might beright for you, you can book free
(11:27):
20 minute call via the link inthe show notes, and we can have
a no pressure conversation justto find out more about it.
See you next time.
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