August 11, 2025 • 15 mins
Navigating Summer Breaks as an International Family: Strategies for a Thriving Experience
In this episode of the Globally Thriving Families Podcast, host Clare O'Byrne, a parent coach and occupational therapist, explores strategies for managing the unique challenges of summer breaks for internationally mobile families. Clare recaps the previous discussion on the difficulties of living out of a suitcase during holidays and delves into practical tips including using visual supports for trip planning, creating daily anchor routines, understanding sensory preferences, handling external parenting advice, and the power of storytelling.
00:00 Introduction to Globally Thriving Families Podcast
01:01 Recap of Previous Episode: Challenges of Holiday Travels
03:40 Strategies for Managing Executive Function Overload
04:48 Establishing Anchor Routines for Stability
05:38 Understanding Sensory Preferences for Better Parenting
08:51 Maintaining Autonomy While Staying with Others
11:15 Exploring Identity and Belonging
12:51 Recap and Final Thoughts
Connect with Clare: globally.thriving@gmail.com
Website: https://www.globallythriving.com
Connect with Clare on Instagram: http://instagram.com/globally_thriving
Book a free 20 minute call with Clare: https://tidycal.com/globallythriving/20-minute-meeting
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:04):
Are you a parent or caregiverraising your child
internationally?
Are you curious about how tonurture your child's
development?
But find all the parentinginformation out there confusing?
If so, you are in the rightplace.
Welcome to the Globally ThrivingFamilies Podcast.
I'm your host, Clare O'Byrne, aparent coach and occupational
(00:27):
therapist with a passion forsupporting children and their
families for more than 25 years.
Whether it's understanding howto build resilience to practical
tips for language development,screen time challenges, and
staying calm amongst the chaos,Globally Thriving Families is
here to help.
(00:47):
Join me as we explore the topicsthat give you the insights and
guidance you need to supportyour children to thrive.
No matter where your family'sadventures take you.
Welcome back to the GloballyThriving Families Podcast, and
today we are following on fromthe last episode where we talked
(01:08):
about why living out of asuitcase during the holidays can
be hard for the whole familysometimes.
If you didn't catch it.
Here's a really quick recap.
So one of the unique features ofa globally mobile life is that
for some families, the extendedschool holidays often involve
returning to their home country.
(01:30):
Now, of course, this doesn'thappen for everyone or happen
every year necessarily, but itis common.
So depending on where you areand who you're with and for how
long, there might come a pointat which the trip home has
stopped being fun or anadventure or that nostalgic
reunion that you were imaginingand might start to feel a bit
(01:52):
like being in survival mode.
Now that's likely due to anumber of factors, including the
executive function overload ofjust coordinating the activities
and scheduling the quality time,managing changes in the routine
and the sensory overload thatcan come with that too.
Then there's navigatinggenerational and or cultural
(02:15):
differences in parenting allwhilst having an existential
crisis about where we belong nowthat we are moving between
countries.
Now, don't get me wrong, I knowthere is so much value to
returning home with our kids, tonurture relationships with
grandparents and cousins andaunts and uncles and friends.
(02:37):
Of course there is.
And we may also want tocultivate connection to our
heritage, and this is what manyof us really value, and it's why
we make the effort to go when wecan instead of traveling
somewhere new.
However, acknowledging thatthere are layers to these
experiences is also important.
(02:58):
Reflecting on the wholeexperience can help us
understand more about ourselvesand our kids, to be more
compassionate with ourselves andhave more realistic expectations
of not only ourselves, butothers.
And this might help us be moreintentional about how we spend
our time and to be reallypresent with the people we want
(03:19):
to be with when we are away.
So let's address some of thechallenges and think about the
ways we can support ourselves.
Now, this isn't a fix in anyway, but rather these are some
insights into how you can managethe load and care for both
yourself and your kids.
So let's get right into it.
(03:40):
So the first strategy is usingvisual supports to map out the
weeks that you are away tomanage the executive function
overload.
So managing the logistics of thetravel plus the schedule of
activities, keeping track oftimes and coordinating plans
with everyone back home can bereally draining.
(04:00):
Now, visual supports can helpwith that, so that could be a
whiteboard.
So changes can be made easily,or written in pencil if you
prefer paper timetables like me.
But this isn't just aboutkeeping you organized.
For kids of any age, visualschedules can really help them
to know what's coming, to reducesurprises.
(04:22):
Even if you are not a plannerand you're going with the flow,
get some of the plans down onpaper.
I shared in the last episodethat my husband and I, we have
to write lists of people that wewant to connect with when we're
away to help us make sure thatit happens.
Having something visual can helptake some of it out of your
brain and make it a bit lessoverwhelming and help ensure
(04:45):
that it happens too.
The next strategy is anchorroutines daily.
So the change in routine in thesummer is often a welcome one,
but for some of us, whether it'skids or adults, the lack of
routine and structure can bechallenging as well.
Even on super slow days, havinganchors in the day can create
(05:07):
some predictability foreveryone.
Whether that's the daily walk orthe daily quiet time, or even a
favorite TV show that everyone'sgonna gather around, build in
downtime as well to thatroutine.
Because even if some of you liketo be busy and to keep going,
and you wanna make the most ofthe limited time, your nervous
(05:29):
system will thank you for evenmicro opportunities to rest.
Now, speaking of nervous systemsfrom a sensory point of view.
Knowing your own capacity andsensory preferences as well as
your kids is so valuable, andthat's the next strategy.
One thing that sometimes getsoverlooked as parents is to
(05:51):
understand our own sensoryprocessing needs.
We're often absorbed withmeeting our kids' needs, that we
don't tune into ourselves.
The thing is, honoring our owncapacity for noise, for
stimulation, for activity andmovement, et cetera, helps us in
(06:11):
our parenting as it directlyaffects our emotional regulation
and therefore how we interactwith our kids.
Have you had times when you'refrazzled or overstimulated from
being in the noisy indoor playplace for too long or that
really long day of visitingrelatives and trying to make
(06:32):
sure the kids didn't breakanything or that they stayed
polite?
Those days sometimes result inus losing it on our kids at the
slightest thing.
So reflect for a minute, whatenergizes you, what drains you?
What helps you reset and how canyou accommodate this in your
plans?
(06:53):
You know, when our kids areyounger, we tend to ignore these
signals or we push through themfor the sake of keeping the kids
entertained or active.
And that's often a reality ofparenting as a globally mobile
family because we don't have,that luxury of a village around
us necessarily, or thatflexibility.
(07:14):
Even this year, I met up with anold friend and both of our kids,
and we decided to meet at thisindoor theme park, which happens
to be inside of a mall.
And we met there becauselogistically it made sense for
both of us.
But I'd forgotten that the noiseof the indoor rollercoaster is
so unbelievably loud.
And wherever you stand in thisplace, it will come around past
(07:37):
you about every four minutes.
So not only was it impossible totry and kind of catch up with my
friend and have a properconversation, but it also gave
me this massive headacheafterwards.
Fortunately, we hadn't plannedto be there for long, so other
than the headache, there wasn'tany kind of lasting
(07:57):
consequences.
But these are the kind of thingsthat you need to notice about
yourself or your kids to be ableto tune into those sensory
sensitivities and, and preemptthem when you're planning.
On a side note, I couldn't helpbut think of the sensory
sensitive kids and adults whowere probably also having a
really hard time with thisinsanely loud roller coaster.
(08:22):
Now I'm a fan of narrating someof these needs to our kids to
build in that awareness ofsensory preferences for them and
to model it.
So just a casual reflectionlike, wow, that rollercoaster
was so loud today.
So when we get home, I'mdefinitely gonna lie down in a
quiet room.
And just saying it can open thedoor to them also being able to
(08:43):
reflect.
Building self-awareness andbeing able to communicate their
needs, is really valuable.
Now when it comes to staying insomeone else's home, do you
still feel in control of yourroutine?
Do you feel like you can parentthe way you want to?
(09:04):
That probably depends on whoyou're staying with, I'm sure.
But if you ever feel like you'velost your autonomy, you're not
alone.
If you have a people pleasingtendency too, this could be a
really challenging part ofsummer as you may find yourself
going along with plans orroutines, or not holding a
boundary for the sake of keepingthe peace, and that can impact
(09:27):
your enjoyment of theexperience, but it also impacts
your day-to-day parenting aswell.
Now, there aren't any quickfixes for this necessarily.
But when it comes to managingother people's parenting views
and advice.
Try to reflect on this as earlyas possible with your spouse, if
they will be with you, so thatyou can identify what are some
of the topics or routines oraspects of parenting that you
(09:50):
value, and what will you standfirm on?
What areas are you happy to beflexible on?
How are you gonna support eachother in the moment and back
each other up if you are beingquestioned about something or
being given unsolicited advice?
It's not easy because we aredancing on a line of being
respectful and diplomatic, butalso maintaining our role as the
(10:15):
parent.
Although I'm not really a fan ofscripts per se for parenting, a
few key phrases might be helpfulin the moment to respond.
So for example,"thanks so much,we can save this for later", or
"thats's an interesting idea,I'll think about how it can work
for"we're trying something a bitdifferent right now, but I'll
(10:36):
keep that in mind".
And if you're giving up yourautonomy to fit in with the
routines of others, try to weavein micro moments of control that
are non-negotiable for you.
So maybe that's a daily walk oran outing.
The trip to get coffee, aparticular routine or a ritual
or activity that you can kind ofannounce as something that you
(11:00):
like to do or that you are alldoing so that you are making it
known that you intend tocontinue it while you're there.
This is a really big topic and Iam gonna delve into it more in a
future episode because it isreally fascinating.
So as we move through thesechallenges from executive
function overload and thesensory component and the
(11:21):
parenting dynamics, the otherdeep layer to this that exists
perhaps without us always givingmuch thought to is our identity
and belonging.
If you've moved frequently orlived away from your home
country for long, you may notfeel as connected to that place,
or perhaps you have some complexfeelings about it.
(11:45):
Also, have you ever thoughtabout your past self as in the
person you were before havingkids and before moving, and the
person that you are now?
It's fascinating, isn't it?
And this is where storytellingcomes in.
So storytelling can be a reallypowerful way to reflect on our
own shifting identity as a wayto include our kids in that
(12:08):
journey by sharing stories aboutwhere we lived, aspects of our
childhood, the teachers we have,the silly moments, the
embarrassing moments.
We can connect our children toour earlier life and also help
us process some of those shiftsin our identity at the same
time.
And then when we visit thoseplaces, it can make those
stories be more tangible for ourkids to relate to.
(12:33):
And this could become a valuablepart of our children's story
too, for when they become adultsthemselves.
They're gonna have their ownstories about those summers, and
it's a beautiful way to build afoundation of belonging and
values and even resilience forthem.
So to recap briefly, we'vetalked about using visual
(12:55):
supports to support executivefunction and to reduce
surprises.
We've talked about building inanchor points throughout the
day, such as outings to providepredictability, but also to
build in regulation and rest.
We've talked about tuning intoyour own sensory preferences, as
(13:15):
well as reflecting on yourparenting non-negotiables with
your spouse, and discussing waysto support each other when
you're managing parenting advicefrom others.
And we've talked about weavingin micro moments of control when
you feel like you're losing yourautonomy.
And lastly, using storytellingas a way to connect with your
(13:37):
children and yourself.
Now, like I said, there's noquick fix for anything, but I
hope that this might help youreflect on your own situation
and see where these strategiescould apply to you.
Also, and I know you know this,but no situation is ever
perfect.
(13:57):
So try to let go of the pressureto make summer a magical
experience for your kids.
Each summer holiday or eachtrip- it's going to have its ups
and downs and looking after yourown needs on a trip can actually
be what makes a difference tohow you parent.
You might have a better chanceof being able to join in the fun
(14:20):
and be playful and be presentwith your kids if your needs are
met too, because this in turn iswhat determines what kind of
experience your kids have.
If this resonates with you,please do let me know via my
Instagram globally thriving orvia my, website globally
(14:41):
thriving.com.
I would love to hear from you,and I'd love to know if there
are any other strategies thatyou use to navigate the long
summer break.
So thanks so much for listeningand see you next time.
Are you a parent or caregiverraising your child
internationally?
Are you curious about how tonurture your child's
development?
But find all the parentinginformation out there confusing?
If so, you are in the rightplace.
Welcome to the Globally ThrivingFamilies Podcast.
I'm your host, Clare O'Byrne, aparent coach and occupational
(00:27):
therapist with a passion forsupporting children and their
families for more than 25 years.
Whether it's understanding howto build resilience to practical
tips for language development,screen time challenges, and
staying calm amongst the chaos,Globally Thriving Families is
here to help.
(00:47):
Join me as we explore the topicsthat give you the insights and
guidance you need to supportyour children to thrive.
No matter where your family'sadventures take you.
Welcome back to the GloballyThriving Families Podcast, and
today we are following on fromthe last episode where we talked
(01:08):
about why living out of asuitcase during the holidays can
be hard for the whole familysometimes.
If you didn't catch it.
Here's a really quick recap.
So one of the unique features ofa globally mobile life is that
for some families, the extendedschool holidays often involve
returning to their home country.
(01:30):
Now, of course, this doesn'thappen for everyone or happen
every year necessarily, but itis common.
So depending on where you areand who you're with and for how
long, there might come a pointat which the trip home has
stopped being fun or anadventure or that nostalgic
reunion that you were imaginingand might start to feel a bit
(01:52):
like being in survival mode.
Now that's likely due to anumber of factors, including the
executive function overload ofjust coordinating the activities
and scheduling the quality time,managing changes in the routine
and the sensory overload thatcan come with that too.
Then there's navigatinggenerational and or cultural
(02:15):
differences in parenting allwhilst having an existential
crisis about where we belong nowthat we are moving between
countries.
Now, don't get me wrong, I knowthere is so much value to
returning home with our kids, tonurture relationships with
grandparents and cousins andaunts and uncles and friends.
(02:37):
Of course there is.
And we may also want tocultivate connection to our
heritage, and this is what manyof us really value, and it's why
we make the effort to go when wecan instead of traveling
somewhere new.
However, acknowledging thatthere are layers to these
experiences is also important.
(02:58):
Reflecting on the wholeexperience can help us
understand more about ourselvesand our kids, to be more
compassionate with ourselves andhave more realistic expectations
of not only ourselves, butothers.
And this might help us be moreintentional about how we spend
our time and to be reallypresent with the people we want
(03:19):
to be with when we are away.
So let's address some of thechallenges and think about the
ways we can support ourselves.
Now, this isn't a fix in anyway, but rather these are some
insights into how you can managethe load and care for both
yourself and your kids.
So let's get right into it.
(03:40):
So the first strategy is usingvisual supports to map out the
weeks that you are away tomanage the executive function
overload.
So managing the logistics of thetravel plus the schedule of
activities, keeping track oftimes and coordinating plans
with everyone back home can bereally draining.
(04:00):
Now, visual supports can helpwith that, so that could be a
whiteboard.
So changes can be made easily,or written in pencil if you
prefer paper timetables like me.
But this isn't just aboutkeeping you organized.
For kids of any age, visualschedules can really help them
to know what's coming, to reducesurprises.
(04:22):
Even if you are not a plannerand you're going with the flow,
get some of the plans down onpaper.
I shared in the last episodethat my husband and I, we have
to write lists of people that wewant to connect with when we're
away to help us make sure thatit happens.
Having something visual can helptake some of it out of your
brain and make it a bit lessoverwhelming and help ensure
(04:45):
that it happens too.
The next strategy is anchorroutines daily.
So the change in routine in thesummer is often a welcome one,
but for some of us, whether it'skids or adults, the lack of
routine and structure can bechallenging as well.
Even on super slow days, havinganchors in the day can create
(05:07):
some predictability foreveryone.
Whether that's the daily walk orthe daily quiet time, or even a
favorite TV show that everyone'sgonna gather around, build in
downtime as well to thatroutine.
Because even if some of you liketo be busy and to keep going,
and you wanna make the most ofthe limited time, your nervous
(05:29):
system will thank you for evenmicro opportunities to rest.
Now, speaking of nervous systemsfrom a sensory point of view.
Knowing your own capacity andsensory preferences as well as
your kids is so valuable, andthat's the next strategy.
One thing that sometimes getsoverlooked as parents is to
(05:51):
understand our own sensoryprocessing needs.
We're often absorbed withmeeting our kids' needs, that we
don't tune into ourselves.
The thing is, honoring our owncapacity for noise, for
stimulation, for activity andmovement, et cetera, helps us in
(06:11):
our parenting as it directlyaffects our emotional regulation
and therefore how we interactwith our kids.
Have you had times when you'refrazzled or overstimulated from
being in the noisy indoor playplace for too long or that
really long day of visitingrelatives and trying to make
(06:32):
sure the kids didn't breakanything or that they stayed
polite?
Those days sometimes result inus losing it on our kids at the
slightest thing.
So reflect for a minute, whatenergizes you, what drains you?
What helps you reset and how canyou accommodate this in your
plans?
(06:53):
You know, when our kids areyounger, we tend to ignore these
signals or we push through themfor the sake of keeping the kids
entertained or active.
And that's often a reality ofparenting as a globally mobile
family because we don't have,that luxury of a village around
us necessarily, or thatflexibility.
(07:14):
Even this year, I met up with anold friend and both of our kids,
and we decided to meet at thisindoor theme park, which happens
to be inside of a mall.
And we met there becauselogistically it made sense for
both of us.
But I'd forgotten that the noiseof the indoor rollercoaster is
so unbelievably loud.
And wherever you stand in thisplace, it will come around past
(07:37):
you about every four minutes.
So not only was it impossible totry and kind of catch up with my
friend and have a properconversation, but it also gave
me this massive headacheafterwards.
Fortunately, we hadn't plannedto be there for long, so other
than the headache, there wasn'tany kind of lasting
(07:57):
consequences.
But these are the kind of thingsthat you need to notice about
yourself or your kids to be ableto tune into those sensory
sensitivities and, and preemptthem when you're planning.
On a side note, I couldn't helpbut think of the sensory
sensitive kids and adults whowere probably also having a
really hard time with thisinsanely loud roller coaster.
(08:22):
Now I'm a fan of narrating someof these needs to our kids to
build in that awareness ofsensory preferences for them and
to model it.
So just a casual reflectionlike, wow, that rollercoaster
was so loud today.
So when we get home, I'mdefinitely gonna lie down in a
quiet room.
And just saying it can open thedoor to them also being able to
(08:43):
reflect.
Building self-awareness andbeing able to communicate their
needs, is really valuable.
Now when it comes to staying insomeone else's home, do you
still feel in control of yourroutine?
Do you feel like you can parentthe way you want to?
(09:04):
That probably depends on whoyou're staying with, I'm sure.
But if you ever feel like you'velost your autonomy, you're not
alone.
If you have a people pleasingtendency too, this could be a
really challenging part ofsummer as you may find yourself
going along with plans orroutines, or not holding a
boundary for the sake of keepingthe peace, and that can impact
(09:27):
your enjoyment of theexperience, but it also impacts
your day-to-day parenting aswell.
Now, there aren't any quickfixes for this necessarily.
But when it comes to managingother people's parenting views
and advice.
Try to reflect on this as earlyas possible with your spouse, if
they will be with you, so thatyou can identify what are some
of the topics or routines oraspects of parenting that you
(09:50):
value, and what will you standfirm on?
What areas are you happy to beflexible on?
How are you gonna support eachother in the moment and back
each other up if you are beingquestioned about something or
being given unsolicited advice?
It's not easy because we aredancing on a line of being
respectful and diplomatic, butalso maintaining our role as the
(10:15):
parent.
Although I'm not really a fan ofscripts per se for parenting, a
few key phrases might be helpfulin the moment to respond.
So for example,"thanks so much,we can save this for later", or
"thats's an interesting idea,I'll think about how it can work
for"we're trying something a bitdifferent right now, but I'll
(10:36):
keep that in mind".
And if you're giving up yourautonomy to fit in with the
routines of others, try to weavein micro moments of control that
are non-negotiable for you.
So maybe that's a daily walk oran outing.
The trip to get coffee, aparticular routine or a ritual
or activity that you can kind ofannounce as something that you
(11:00):
like to do or that you are alldoing so that you are making it
known that you intend tocontinue it while you're there.
This is a really big topic and Iam gonna delve into it more in a
future episode because it isreally fascinating.
So as we move through thesechallenges from executive
function overload and thesensory component and the
(11:21):
parenting dynamics, the otherdeep layer to this that exists
perhaps without us always givingmuch thought to is our identity
and belonging.
If you've moved frequently orlived away from your home
country for long, you may notfeel as connected to that place,
or perhaps you have some complexfeelings about it.
(11:45):
Also, have you ever thoughtabout your past self as in the
person you were before havingkids and before moving, and the
person that you are now?
It's fascinating, isn't it?
And this is where storytellingcomes in.
So storytelling can be a reallypowerful way to reflect on our
own shifting identity as a wayto include our kids in that
(12:08):
journey by sharing stories aboutwhere we lived, aspects of our
childhood, the teachers we have,the silly moments, the
embarrassing moments.
We can connect our children toour earlier life and also help
us process some of those shiftsin our identity at the same
time.
And then when we visit thoseplaces, it can make those
stories be more tangible for ourkids to relate to.
(12:33):
And this could become a valuablepart of our children's story
too, for when they become adultsthemselves.
They're gonna have their ownstories about those summers, and
it's a beautiful way to build afoundation of belonging and
values and even resilience forthem.
So to recap briefly, we'vetalked about using visual
(12:55):
supports to support executivefunction and to reduce
surprises.
We've talked about building inanchor points throughout the
day, such as outings to providepredictability, but also to
build in regulation and rest.
We've talked about tuning intoyour own sensory preferences, as
(13:15):
well as reflecting on yourparenting non-negotiables with
your spouse, and discussing waysto support each other when
you're managing parenting advicefrom others.
And we've talked about weavingin micro moments of control when
you feel like you're losing yourautonomy.
And lastly, using storytellingas a way to connect with your
(13:37):
children and yourself.
Now, like I said, there's noquick fix for anything, but I
hope that this might help youreflect on your own situation
and see where these strategiescould apply to you.
Also, and I know you know this,but no situation is ever
perfect.
(13:57):
So try to let go of the pressureto make summer a magical
experience for your kids.
Each summer holiday or eachtrip- it's going to have its ups
and downs and looking after yourown needs on a trip can actually
be what makes a difference tohow you parent.
You might have a better chanceof being able to join in the fun
(14:20):
and be playful and be presentwith your kids if your needs are
met too, because this in turn iswhat determines what kind of
experience your kids have.
If this resonates with you,please do let me know via my
Instagram globally thriving orvia my, website globally
(14:41):
thriving.com.
I would love to hear from you,and I'd love to know if there
are any other strategies thatyou use to navigate the long
summer break.
So thanks so much for listeningand see you next time.
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