Bonus Episode! From Pain to Purpose: Esperanza's Journey Through Loss and Healing (A Client Testimonial)

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Grief doesn't wait for convenient moments. It strikes in grocery store aisles, during familiar songs, or at the sight of a stranger who reminds us of someone we've lost. These everyday moments demand tools that traditional therapy often doesn't provide.

In this powerful testimonial episode, we meet Esperanza Flury, a recent graduate of the Resilient Life Academy who sought help after the sudden loss of her daughter Jacqueline. Her journey illuminates the profound difference between treating grief as an illness versus recognizing it as a normal life condition requiring practical navigation skills. "My pain is not an illness," Esperanza explains, "it's a condition."

Through twelve weeks of coaching, Esperanza discovered how to honor her daughter's memory by completing Jacqueline's fashion collection—transforming raw grief into purposeful celebration. She learned to embrace joy again while acknowledging that grief becomes "braided into the tapestry of life" rather than eliminated. Most importantly, she acquired tangible tools to navigate what she beautifully describes as "the labyrinth of emotions associated with grief."

This episode highlights why grief coaching can be transformative when therapy falls short. While support groups and traditional therapy serve important purposes, they often lack the practical techniques needed for real-world grief management. The Resilient Life Academy empowers you to become your own grief expert, equipped with strategies for those unpredictable moments when emotions overwhelm.

Ready to discover a different approach to navigating loss? Book a complimentary 20-minute chat to learn more about the Resilient Life Academy. Your journey toward healing  and grieving with more freedom starts here.

Will this be the summer that changes everything for you? You’ve done the grief support groups. You’ve thought about therapy. You’ve tried so hard to figure this out.  Yet, nothing seems to be bringing you inner peace, emotional stability, or a sense of purpose.

A lot of us get stuck here.

The good news: This summer I’ve opened my calendar to guide a small number of you 1:1. 

You’ll learn the most potent yet gentle coping strategies.  You’ll get j

Book a Call to learn more about working with me 1:1 this Summer https://link.crmdonebetter.com/widget/bookings/discovery-call-with-diane

Follow me on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/diane.debobesbonilla

Follow me on Instagram @dianebonillacoaching

This podcast is not medical advice, psychotherapy or counseling. It is for educational and entertainment purposes only. If you or someone you know is in crisis dial or text 988 for the suicide crisis lifeline.

Episode Transcript

Diane Bonilla, MA, LPC (00:04):
Welcome to the Grieving with More
Freedom podcast, where we talkabout navigating loss in the
real world, because grief can beunpredictable, demanding and
immobilizing and, let's behonest, it doesn't wait until
you're in your therapist'soffice.
This is where I share realstrategies that meet you in your

(00:25):
everyday life with grief so youcan ultimately connect to more
peace, purpose and resilience.
I'm your host, diane Bonilla,grief therapist turned coach,
with nearly three decades ofexperience in the grief and loss
specialty.
I'm a master practitioner ofhypnotherapy and

(00:46):
neuro-linguistic programming, acertified grief-informed
professional.
But, most importantly, I too amwalking my own path with grief.
I understand all too well itscomplexities and challenges, so
let's jump in.
Here's to your beautifulresilience.
Welcome back everyone.

(01:13):
Today I have a special bonusepisode for you.
I am talking with my client,Esperanza Flury, who recently
graduated from my grief program,the Resilient Life Academy.
Esperanza came to me after avery painful and sudden loss.
It has been my honor to guideher through this program since

(01:37):
February and see her movethrough her grief with honesty,
courage and determination.
Her journey is one ofresilience.
This is her testimonial.
Okay, Espy, thank you so muchfor being willing to talk about
your experience in the ResilientLife Academy.

(01:59):
You are a graduate nowofficially, and it was a total
of 12 sessions that you had,with podcast support in between,
lots of tools, and so I thinkit's great that you're willing
to talk a little bit about yourexperience today.
Thank you very much.
Thank you for having me, Diane.

(02:21):
For people watching, I'm surethey're wondering, you know,
what was your biggest challengebefore you started working with
me.
You know what was going on andwhy did you pick this program
over therapy.

Esperanza Flury (02:35):
Yeah, I researched, I did some research
and I was finding to mostlytherapy type of help for
grieving.
And when I found thisResilience Academy, I said I
kind of asked not in this way,but what was my biggest problem?

(02:59):
Right right, my pain is not anillness, it's a condition.
And I said, what do I need?
What do I need to move forward?
And I found out that thebiggest challenge was accepting
how final death is andforgetting about or trying to

(03:24):
understand the why, because Iwas in that cycle, why did this
happen?
And the coaching sessionsreally helped me to achieve that
.

Diane Bonilla, MA, LPC (03:38):
That's a very common place for people to
get death right, To get stuckon the reality that life has
changed so permanently, right.

Esperanza Flury (03:48):
Yeah, it's like a vicious cycle.
You know Death is so final andit's so real, but it's like you
want to run Espy away from it.

Diane Bonilla, MA, LPC (03:57):
Yeah, understood, and so it's a very
courageous thing to decide toget help.
And you said something thatreally struck me, espy, which is
recognizing that your grief isnot an illness, which is kind of
why we tend to go to therapyright For a diagnosis for
symptoms, whereas coaching forgrief is all about meeting you

(04:22):
where you are now in a verynormal life experience that most
of us will have to face at somepoint or another, and helping
you move forward.

Esperanza Flury (04:32):
That is totally true.

Diane Bonilla, MA, LPC (04:33):
Yeah, and as a therapist myself, where
I do coaching and therapy, I dofind that, for grief, coaching
is really the elixir.
Now we're 12 sessions in,you've graduated, and what do
you notice is different aboutyour grief, and what are you

(04:54):
really most proud of, now thatyou can look back at your
experience with the ResilientLife Academy.

(05:32):
t b s d t.

Esperanza Flury (05:00):
You know, the most proud is the fact I feel
this truly is the love, the joythat beyond, I feel know,
finishing my daughter's life.
Jacqueline, as you know, was infashion design and I endeavored
to finish her collection and itwas a beautiful groups- way to

(05:25):
really honor her and it hasbrought so much groups- joy into
my life.
The pain is there, the pain hasbecome like braided into the
tapestry of my life but at thesame time I am able to be joyful

(05:46):
about life and just thinkingand all this.

(06:57):
You I think what happened is,if you would have talked to me
prior to my 12 weeks coaching, Idon't know that I wouldn't
song, we so clear,.
so clear.
But I realized when I decidedto go with this program is that
I needed to acquire tools tohelp me maneuver, like the
labyrinth of emotions associatedwith grief, if that makes any
sense.

Diane Bonilla, MA, LPC (07:08):
Anywhere .
It does.
It makes a lot of sense and thetools really are there to help
you long beyond you know.
Finishing here.
They're there for you to takeinto the real world.
One of program is that withsupport groups and I think
there's a real place for griefsupport groups but I think at
some point, telling your storyover and over again or hearing
other stories, it becomes aplace of more pain and what we
really need are tools that weuse.
Just moving into everyday life,you know when grief strikes you
or hits you at the mostunpredictable moments in the
grocery store, in the car, whenyou hear a song.
We need tools Anywhere.

Esperanza Flury (07:08):
Yeah, that happens anywhere.
You're walking on the streetand you're going to church, you
see a young girl or someonewalking around, something that
brings the memory of the personthat you lost and the tears just
come.
And the tears just come, and ifit's not the tears, you feel

(07:30):
this very deep feeling of loss.
I don't think tools, will evergo away, but what it is is.
You learn with these coachingclasses is to reframe.

Diane Bonilla, MA, LPC (07:44):
Yes, the reframing, one of the tools in
the program I know, can be veryhelpful in not minimizing how
you feel, because that's notreally the point.
The.
point is being able to navigate.

(08:27):
with It ease and February.
to

Esperanza Flury (07:57):
And still have a sense of peace through the
grief journey.
As you navigate motions thesefeelings that come up and
without the tools it can feellonely, scary and it is bumpy.
It is right, because my mydaughter passed in September and
Diane uh.

(08:17):
.
Correct me if I'm mistaken, butI think we started our uh
coaching in January or February,I think it therapist, progress
and when we're talking aboutthe motions, it's like it's a

(08:37):
roller coaster, it is a totalroller coaster.
Grief has so many phases, yeah,and I think we are not prepared
for that.
At least I wasn't until I found.
they.

(09:24):
have the community.
I'm sorry, I don't mean itthat way but I think it is.

Diane Bonilla, MA, LPC (09:00):
But a couple times now in my life,
having been a therapist orcontinuing to be a therapist If,
having been a therapist orcontinuing to be a therapist,
the coaching just made so muchsense to me as a space to bring
my professional and personalexperience to help people,
Because I do feel like so manypeople are not equipped and

(09:22):
they're not walking away fromtheir support groups with those
tools they have the community.
But this program is more abouthelping you in everyday life so
that really you're becoming yourown grief expert.
You can rely on you to navigatethose waves of emotion that,
like you say, can hit anytime.

Esperanza Flury (09:39):
You really kind of come back to reality in a
softer way, you know, and you'reable to let go.

Diane Bonilla, MA, LPC (09:51):
So well described.
So we're not denying ourselvesthe experience .

(10:12):
And put in place.
it hits, but we're movingthrough it with some kind of a
tool that then grounds us at theend.
So I'm so glad that those meantso much to you and thank you
for sharing that.

Esperanza Flury (10:07):
And it's something tangible that I can
grab.
Yeah, exactly Putting place?

Diane Bonilla, MA, LPC (10:14):
Yeah, exactly.
So just to kind of wrap thingsup for again, for people that
are maybe thinking about Dianeworking with me or working in
the resilient life Academy, andmaybe they're on the fence a
little bit, what.
would you say to someone who'sthinking about it?

Esperanza Flury (10:29):
You know I'm going to do a little
introduction before I answer thequestion.
But what I think and, diane,you have heard me throughout the
12 weeks say this often allalong during these weeks of the
Resilient Coaching I feel verythankful to have found this

(10:53):
program and I'm totally puzzledto find out it's not an approach
that is being streamlined.
You know, to manage the pain oflosing someone, like I said
before, it doesn't require adiagnosis, it requires
discovering the tools to helpyou.

(11:15):
So I will say to the person tryit, you owe it to yourself and
I'm sure you will not regret it.
That's how I feel.

Diane Bonilla, MA, LPC (11:27):
That's lovely.
Thank you so much for offeringyour experience, because I think
that's important for people tohear from somebody who is also,
you know, dealing with a bigloss and who is learning and has
made so much progress.
You've made so much progress,really.
Just, it was an honor to reallywork with you through the 12

(11:47):
weeks.

Esperanza Flury (11:48):
It has been a beautiful experience to me,
diane.
It's been a beautifulexperience to me, Diane.
I really didn't know what I wasspecifically expecting from the
coaching, but to me it has beenso much benefit because the pain
is so overwhelming that I don'tknow where would I be today if

(12:13):
I wouldn't have taken thiscoaching program.

Diane Bonilla, MA, LPC (12:16):
Yeah, that's a good question to ask
and you know these are, for lackof a better word.
It sounds cliched, but thesereally are cutting edge tools.
They aren't streamlined, likeyou said.
They're not in when you walk inyour therapist's office.
You're not going to get thesetools.
You know you're not going toget them from your support group
.
You're going to get otherthings.
There's value to all of thosethings, but this is just

(12:38):
something very different andvery powerful.

Esperanza Flury (12:43):
That's the word I will use.
Powerful, yes, well, thank you,

Diane Bonilla, MA, LPC (12:47):
Thank you so much.
I appreciate you.
Again, thank you for sharingyour experience with everybody
else listening today.

Esperanza Flury (12:55):
Thank you.
Thank you, Diane.
Thank you for asking and havingme.

Diane Bonilla, MA, LPC (13:01):
If you felt a connection to today's
episode, I would be so gratefulif you shared this podcast with
someone you know.
Sharing helps the podcast togrow and reach more listeners.
Don't forget to join myFacebook community Grieving With
More Freedom, and follow me onInstagram at Diane Bonilla
Coaching.
Ready for the next step in yourgrief journey?

(13:23):
Book a 20-minute complimentarychat with me to learn more about
a unique healing opportunity inmy grief program, RLA, the

(13:46):
Resilient Life Academy, aprogram that teaches you how to
be your own grief expert,increase your confidence in
navigating those unpredictablewaves of emotion, and allows you
the opportunity to let go ofeverything holding you back from
grieving with more freedom.
Y ou'll find my calendar linkin the show notes, in my
Instagram bio and inside myFacebook community.
Thanks for listening.
This podcast is not medicaladvice, psychotherapy or
counseling.
It is for educational andentertainment purposes only.
If you or someone you know isin crisis, dial or text 988 for

(14:10):
the Suicide Crisis Lifeline.