Trapped in the Trap: Gareth's Story of Psychosis, Survival & Purpose

In this raw and powerful episode of Having the Chats with Peter & Sophia, we sit down with Gareth McGuirk, the inspiring voice behind Find Motivation With Gareth.

At just 19, Gareth has already lived through intense trauma, cannabis-induced psychosis, family upheaval, homelessness, and the pull of street life in Dublin.

What sets Gareth apart isn’t just his survival-it’s his mission. Through honesty, humour, and heart, he opens up about what it’s like growing up surrounded by addiction, violence, and normalized chaos, and how he's finding his way out through self-awareness, real talk, and community motivation.

We cover:

• The dangers of synthetic cannabis and substance misuse

• What psychosis actually looks and feels like

• Growing up in an environment of addiction

• The reality behind social media success

• His drive to break cycles and build community support

This episode isn’t just a conversation, it’s a mirror held up to youth, resilience, and the power of purpose.

Whether you're in recovery, supporting someone who is, or simply trying to make sense of the chaos around you-this one's for you.

Connect with Gareth:
Follow him on Instagram & TikTok: @findmotivationwithgareth

Episode Transcript

(00:06):
Do you ever have the fear that the psychosis will come back?
The one thing a lot of people carry, they carry a lot of.
I'd say even about yourself as we was always a good kid, we
just got lost somewhere along the way.
Welcome to episode 6 of having achat with Peter and Sophia.
Today we are joined by an amazing young man, an

(00:26):
inspiration, motivational young man.
His name is Garrett Mcgarrick and he is from Dublin and he has
a page on Instagram on TikTok called Find Motivation with
Garrett. I came across this cool dude and
from a comment on another personthat I follow on Instagram, I
popped onto his page and I just loved what he's doing.
I saw what he was at. I loved his motivation, I loved

(00:48):
his inspiration, I loved his energy.
And from there we connected and I am delighted to say we have
him here on our couch having a chat with Peter and Sophia.
Without further ado, Garrett McGurk.
It was a gun of people Garrett here from fully motivation with
Garrett and today I'm down here with Peter and Sophia to take
part in that podcast, having thechats and.

(01:09):
We are delighted to have you. Welcome, Garrett.
Thank you for taking the journeyand coming down to stay here
with us today. Oh, it was a long trip already.
Yeah, but it was water. Now I have to say it was water.
Have you? Enjoyed your stay, so fair.
Oh yeah, top top, top care, handrolled towels and everything.
Yeah, that's a fear. It's about me, I.

(01:32):
Was wondering who's idea it was for the handrail cows and the
saying that Andy on sweet I saidthat thank God we didn't book a
hotel or not to get one here. But the cold shower.
I had to have a cold shower though, that was.
That was the universe that was, you know, I just, I knocked down
the shower and I said it's a little bit warm, right, Lovely
jump in. And then it just got from pretty

(01:53):
early, very cold very quickly. And by the time I was getting
out, it was. But I felt happier than after.
I have to say, I did this. Oh, does the lawyer life this
morning after getting off the show.
Well, you're lucky Sofia was here because it was up to me you
wouldn't have a towel. And the window was left open, so

(02:14):
it would have been a chattering in the room.
Can't. Play much for that, like that,
that's your fault. That's nothing to do with me.
That's that's Amy's down all right.
So can I ask you why? Why have you done this page?
Why have you? Why are you doing what you're
doing right? Why is this?
What is fine motivation, McGowan?
Where did it come from? From.
Well, you see, I've always wanted to do social media for

(02:35):
ever since I was growing up. You can catch clips of me as a
kid if you're searching me name on YouTube.
Me just stay on stupid little videos as a kid and I like the
whole social media thing. But then when I was smoking the
weed and all every day, like I just, I'd laugh at people that
were there on that type of thingand I'd say, Ah, no, that
wouldn't be for me because I wasin me comfortable bed that I was

(02:57):
in. But then when I got out of that
and started being a sociable user, that that then I found
like a motivation to you only get one life, so you might as
well live it. Well, you don't know what I mean
so. Can I ask you right, You said
something there, a source of abuser.
Can I ask you what's source of abuse?
What's kind of a source of abuseto you?
Well, that'd be probably having the odd spliff once every week

(03:19):
or once every two weeks. Then like hopefully there'll be
20s where it'll be once a month then, you know what I mean?
Like but at the minute it's onceonce a week to once every two
weeks. And is your aim, What is your
aim? Is there an end goal to maybe
like as he says, once once a month or?
Well, eventually I'd like to be able to knock it on the head

(03:40):
completely, but just I don't sayat this age, I think people are
my age group, but just you see the grass is the drug of our
area where alcohol was the last generations drug, which it is a
drug. People think because your boy
out of a shop, it's all well andgood.
There's many countries around the world that's a boy weird out
of a shop and it'd be better than over here, but it's still a

(04:03):
drug at the same time. Do you know what I mean?
Like as much as it might be cleaner over there because it's
all regulated and stuff like that.
We don't have that hair so we don't actually know what we're
getting. Remember there was a new year
ago I go with and the telly thiswas not with or it was just
zomba for it. It was like it was like nothing

(04:24):
that I've ever took before. It was I don't know.
It felt what I'd say, what I'd say it was was I'd say it was
Syntec THC being sprayed on it because it was it was over the
top stone. It was like it was like a brown
talent stone. You know, it was like shooting.
Your role is goofing off stone, if you know what I meant.

(04:45):
Do you think it's difficult for people, your generation, for
your age group to live a sober life, to live a life without
substance? I think it's I think it's more
down to how you grow up and where you grow up.
So when you grow up in the Lakesof Finglas, Body moon kill luck,
everybody around you is taking drugs.

(05:06):
A lot of people have a lot of problems in them areas and that
could be caused from trauma or anything like that.
And it's hard down for them to get out of the loop that they're
in. Because say you're out with 10
of your friends, probably 6 or 7of yours are smoking joints, six
or seven years are probably sniffing coke.
Do you know what I mean? So there could be only two or

(05:28):
three in the group that don't doit like we have.
We have a friend who wouldn't touch drugs at all.
He'd be a very good friend of mine and like that.
We actually always stopped pounding around with him for a
few years when I was going down a bad Rd. because I didn't want
to affect him then. Do you know what I mean?
And, and, but now today he's oneof my best friends.
He comes, does all the videos with me, does all the camera

(05:50):
work for me and all these great ladies.
Shout out to Mario. Go on.
Mario Beautiful. I love that.
I just picked up on one thing there, which is it shows the
dangers of it. You're on about that bag of weed
you got like, it's when you're out in the streets and you're
buying stuff. You, you, you have to take what
people are telling you at face value what it is.

(06:11):
But that's not always the case. Like what I'm trying to say is
to like warn people that it is. It's not always what you think
it's going to be when you buy something.
It can be dangerous like. Well, you see the boys that are
down the looks of that they're not worried about you when you
go home. Do you know what I mean?
They they're just worried about getting the money up to pay
whoever they're, I think, getting the drugs off and they

(06:33):
don't care. Even if they get, they might not
even use that themselves and they'll get it and they'll have
to sell it because it's had to be an order and it has to be
paid for. You'll know that yourself,
Peter, from previous experiences.
That doesn't matter how danced on something is or what how bad
quality it is, it has to be soldonce it's ordered there.
Has to be movement on if there'sa bill to be paid, that's

(06:53):
unfortunately how it is and that's how a cycle can happen.
Like personally myself was neverreally into selling drugs that
didn't appetite is made 750 bucks or he was always out
looking for people that take sayan ounce or something like that
and just have 4 / 10 people thatyou'd sell your own to step
book. God never wanted to me to sell
drugs ever. He never gave me the contest I

(07:15):
was looking for at all. It just it wasn't destined for
me. Did you become your your own
best customer? Oh, it did, yeah.
Now, like, I used to walk a job where I was getting paid monthly
and I'd be getting a bit weird off a fella.
And then eventually I got to a point where I was saying, oh,
would you trust this to the nextweek?
And it'd be no bother. And then half my paycheck would

(07:38):
be going on and then the other half would be, boy, more.
So it was like I never had a penny when I walked in that job.
That was when I started going down the bad Rd.
That's when the psychosis has started happening to me.
So what happened was I had an altercation with a fella and
that kicked off me. Psychosis fall now.
Now this fella the be good friend of mine today, like there

(08:00):
was no need for any of it. But when you're taking that much
drugs your brain is just over walking itself to death.
And we thought that this fall now would have been very bad for
me and it was never like that was just my own head getting
into my own head playing tricks on myself.
So what happened was I had to come go down the country.

(08:20):
Last time I was actually in the West of Ireland was going
through psychosis. Was only telling you that
yesterday when it got picked up from the translation.
And like that we went to stay with an individual and I was
going off the head in the gaffe.I thought that the local take
away was trying to fucking poison me.

(08:40):
I thought that there was people running through the bushes.
It was at one point I was standing there on the road with
fireworks lining up the road because I thought people weren't
running through the bushes. Then at the time we were
breeding dogs and someone came to boy a pop up and what
happened was we ended up going out talking to your man.

(09:03):
And now this could have been butwe still even to this day, we
believe that stuff that were happening, that psychosis were
real. And what happened was your man
put his hands behind his back like just like that say.
And with that my brain went intoan overload.
We thought your man was going toshoot me and there was no need
for it because there's never actually involved in high level

(09:25):
criminality, if you know what I mean.
There's never an into it. So we ended up going back into
the house, going around and lying on the ground with
compound bow thinking that your man was going to start shooting
at me and he was holding down ina Bush ready to take a man's
head off. Like we could have ended up in
prison for years over something like that.
My head didn't. If we didn't just relax myself

(09:48):
in that moment, we could have very well shot him with that
ball right there. Just to make this clear, right
to anyone who's listening, to anyone who's watching, that's
from cannabis use. Yeah, that's from nothing else
other than cannabis other than what you bought on this street.
And I would say, I wouldn't say over drinking, but I'd say in
order. So he caught the episode that
happened to me one night when I tried to kill myself was from

(10:09):
the gargle. So you're speaking about that's
from cannabis use, that's from from weed you bought on the
street. Yeah, yeah.
So that's that's, that's showingyou what's coming in off the
street like. Yeah, but you see what happened
was then it was going through. So we cut the episodes from
months after that happened. So one night then I went there
having a drink with me family and what happened was I started

(10:30):
drinking spirits and we can't drink spirits.
And what happened was we came home that night and I went off
the head. I don't even remember what it
was. I do actually it was because we
asked me brother could I have the vodka and he wouldn't give
it to me because I was well oiled at this point.
With that I went off the head, tried to stab me, brother tried

(10:50):
to. I went downstairs then and I was
starting on everybody in the house.
And with that I caught me hand like that and that finger there
actually doesn't go straight nowover.
So what happened then was the arm, the sponsor and I had to
come down to the house because the family rang the ambulance
for me. And when there's a knife
involved in an incident that allbill have to come before the

(11:13):
ambulance does. So the ambulance won't come
until the guard have been there and make sure that's safe for
the paramedics to come in. But when they came in, it was
like it all torn on them then. So he wasn't fighting myself
anymore or he was fighting with the old bill.
And I'd never had a good experience with the old bill.

(11:33):
But see that no, you have to give it to them.
They could have shot me that that night and they didn't.
So show out to the old bill for that one.
Shout out to the old Bill. Geez, you're 19 years of age,
girl. It sounds like just in those
little clips that you've shared with us, that sounds traumatic.
It sounds like there's there's alot of emotion, a lot of

(11:54):
challenge, a lot of a lot of trying to figure out is this
what's real, what's not really, that sounds difficult.
But that's only the start of a Peter, that's only the start of
a So what happened was when I was about 9 years of age, the
family got involved in an instant and we ended up losing
the family home and it got very heavy in the earlier.
So what happened was my father, I mean, mother, at the time when

(12:14):
they were together, they decidedthe best thing for us to do just
be into mail. So we may have delve that house
and mail it down to me nannies. And then everything started
going on a whole family life that was getting on top.
So I mean, mother and father split up and then me father
wasn't there to chastise me. So I was running, running on me

(12:35):
Mark, doing whatever I wanted the like say I'm not going to
skill. And there was never a bad
kidding skill, but it was alwaysthe class clown is always there
to make everybody laugh. Now a lot more teachers would
still talk to me to this day. But like that I got texts off
when teachers and he said to me,I'm glad to see what you're

(12:55):
doing because I was very worriedabout you, very, very worried
about me because I was living, Iwas living in a dream world.
We taught that, oh, you could just lay a skill and that's
that. You know, we spent probably the
last four or five years catchingup on that, the likes of Black
CTC. Then I went, I left that because
wasn't for me and I went walkingfull time.
And what happened was I've been walking so long in the job that

(13:19):
I got into a college due to experience.
So I'm back on track now and I'mat the start of the
apprenticeship and butcher. So I'm looking forward to where
that takes me, yeah. Well done.
You're really inspiring, Garrett.
You are like, because coming from like where you came from
with all the psychosis and stufflike that, and you were at a
tender age in life where you're unsure of what life holds

(13:39):
anyway. But having a psychosis on top of
that is, it must have been like a really, really hard path to
navigate, being unsure of who you are, what you are, and what
the world actually is around you.
Well, you see a lot of the twinsthat was coming true is so we
cut the episodes. The only people that was taking
it almost deluxe me family. So one day I went through one of
them and it was between me and the brother.

(14:03):
You see, it's it normally gets down to me and the Brewer
because he's the type that he put it up to me if I'm putting
it up to him. Do you know what I mean?
Because what Brewers. And with that, one day I came
down the stairs with baseball bat and I thought he was
standing at the door and went toput the baseball back through
the door. And I did.
And what happened was the door was a double glazed window.

(14:25):
So it only went through 1 glazedthank God because the person
standing at the other side the door wasn't me brother, it was
me Ma. And I went down into the front
garden then and start swinging the batter out and I nearly lost
the leg because me, my dog was out in the garden and the dog
blade latched onto me bottom. She did so she did and the leg

(14:45):
did up the road. I tell you it was.
I've never been faster than the dog, but it was that day or leg
that I did. And then with that that day I
was running around for ages because they were they were
trying to look for me because they were worried about me, but
we thought they were looking forme to give out to me a fucking
we don't know, just yeah, out toget me then.

(15:07):
And we was like holding on the cars.
I was watching me dies wheels off this Android pass me, stuff
like that. And he was holding on that on
that day on that cars, on that vans and all.
We could make crush that day. Do you know what I mean?
No, no, says like you could havebeen crushed out there.
We had a giggle there, right? You talked about running faster

(15:28):
than the dog, right? We had a giggle.
The three of us sitting here in this couch.
We come from chaos. We come from trauma.
We come from that madness. There's going to be people
watching this and listening to this, right?
That don't see that that is right.
That became normal for us. And from what you're describing,
that way of life became very normal.
Like we can have a laugh about it.

(15:49):
You ever, is there ever times where you're kind of on your own
and you're sitting down and you're really connected with it
and think. Wow.
Well, there's many attorneys that sit to myself and they are
very grateful that a lot of people in my family talk to me
because realistically they shouldn't after the things that
we put them through. And that was down to me and we

(16:11):
don't. But at the time we was playing
everybody else, family problems.And that just wasn't really like
the night that I had the knife Meow flat actually came in and
now Meow lad, he's not. He would never lay a finger on
me. But that night he did.
He had to give me a dig in the mouth that night to get the
knife off me. And with that, we picked up a

(16:31):
Sam really sort and only me finger was put the tendon to me
finger. The sword just flopped out of my
hand. But we could have very well
stopped him that me with the mindset that we was going
through and the things that was going through locally spent I
think was 14 days in the map of hospital after that.
And then they sent me to sassy drug recovery like talking to

(16:55):
what's it called when you're taught Yeah, therapy.
Now that just did not walk for me because I wasn't given the
grass up at the time for myself was doing it for everybody else.
So that probably lasted about 8 months.
And that was just pure sober, noalcohol, no grass, nothing like
that. So with that, then I went back
to smoking the weed, but it was more controlled.

(17:17):
It was like it was down to having just hill every day.
And then up until probably threeor four months ago, then we
knocked it on the head and became a sociable user.
Now a lot of people are sit there and say there's no such
thing as a sociable user, but we've heard to prove to people
that you can do you know what I mean?
Because it's all about the brain.

(17:38):
The brain is the, it's the hardest walk of muscle in the
body. And if you look, I know it's not
going to suit everybody, but if it does suit you and walks where
you do that, because I've never been happier than I am now.
When I was sober, I was miserable.
When I was smoking every day I was miserable.
Now I'm the happiest I've been and now over 10 years, Do you

(17:58):
know what I'm saying? Do you?
Think that has to do with the weed or do you think that has to
do with your newfound mindset with your new way of looking at
life I'd. Say it's a bit about like
because I look, I like having the odd split here in there and
I actually I enjoy it a lot morenow because I'm not abusing it
where when I was abusing it, I was getting nothing over where

(18:19):
now it's like a deal. If I'm not achieving something,
if I'm not achieving the goal, I'll have the odd joint or
something like that. I don't just have a joint to
have a joint. And now it's a lot different
setting where there was race home from walk, have a joint,
where now it's sit down, watch amovie, get a load of sweets,
have a joint and relax. And it's like it's a whole

(18:39):
different setting now than what it was.
So for you, it's almost like after now, I don't know, I'm
just, I'm just talking out there.
There's lots of people who woulduse going to the pub having a
drink. Have a glass of wine.
Glass of wine, crack open a bottle of wine, a glass of wine.
I know myself in people in my own life who'd have a glass of
wine or two with their dinner. Like would you see like your

(18:59):
cannabis use your weed smoking? It's something similar or even
less than that. I would say it'd be less than
that. It's more so like say only
matter having a smashing week and I'm after doing a lot and
say something on social media asbooming.
I'll sit down and have a joint to look at that as a lovely.
I'm at the accomplishing something.
So now I'm motivated to do stuffwhere before there was like go

(19:23):
to work, come home. That's good enough for me.
We're now it's goat goat walk, come home.
Yeah, as much things as I can doing from 6:00 to say 12:00, go
to bed and then wake up the nextday fresh.
Like at one point it was gettingto a point where I was going to
lose my job because I was comingin half asleep and stuff like
that. And the boss had to have a chat

(19:44):
with me. And I think that was I think
that was a big torn and point inme like because I always I
always like to think that one day it'd just be say a Saturday
thing where. I never had a reason to do, but
when it comes down to losing your job and losing all the hard
work that you're at the point inyou turn around and you say, is

(20:08):
it really water? Because we don't want to be
smoking that when I'm tort yearsof age and have kids meal like a
lot of people that sit there andsmoke with will say, oh, it's
not a drug. Well, hold on a minute.
If it's not a drug, we don't yougive you a 10 year old a joint.
Do you know what I mean? So.
What you've just clipped that what you've just described,

(20:30):
right? So for the likes of us, I can't
do what you do, OK? Yeah.
I can't do what you do because you're able to say, right,
that's enough. I I personally, I can't.
But again, that's to do with thelife I've LED in the life Sofia
has LED. We, I don't have stop switches.
I don't have a stop switch. I've gone so past that point
that there is no stop switch there anymore, right?

(20:51):
It's so for. Me one lead to another.
Yeah, So for me, I I class it asa traumatic brain injury, an
acquired brain injury. I've done so much damage to my
brain over the years that my brain knows no different now.
It just can't shut off. And there is ways to reprogram
that. But to be honest, for me, I'm
very happy in life. I don't I don't need that the
use. But like you've just described
where for people who say there'sno such thing as sourceable

(21:12):
cannabis use, you've just described exactly how there is.
So you've just described there for us that the difference
between going and keeping going are not going.
So in addiction, right? When I was in addiction, if and
when I was working at different times, my boss came to me and
says, look, this is what's happening.
Had a chat with me and says you're going to lose all the
higher working. That wouldn't make a difference
to me. No, I wouldn't have bothered.

(21:34):
The negative results would have just kept on going For you with
the social abuse, you were able to look at it and go, hold on a
minute, I'm going to lose everything.
That's that's powerful. Well, you see another thing is
my page isn't really for people that use Class A drugs.
So if somebody's using Class A drugs all the time or you don't

(21:54):
know enough about it to help them people.
So the only thing that we would suggest them people to do is to
go on the sober because I don't feel that people that take Class
A drugs every day can be social users more.
You pay just more for people that are suffering with alcohol
and cannabis so. Your experience?
My experience because I can't really talk and that now people

(22:16):
might think, oh, garlic goes home, he has a Rousey life,
That's not how it is. Or you go home to a house where
my uncle still smokes canvas every day in the house and uses
benzo tablets and abuses the methadone maintenance.
So or you see what addiction does do to people.
Or you'd never suggest to my uncle if he wanted to get sober,
or he would never suggest socialuse to him.

(22:38):
He'd have to be either all in ornot in at all because it
wouldn't work for somebody like that.
Do you know what I mean? And it wouldn't work for many
people that take Class A drugs. Now that could be the odd
handful that might work for, butI would never suggest it to
somebody that does. I'd suggest that they go to
rehab clinics or get on to people like is ourselves.

(23:01):
Do you know what I mean? Because it's a whole different.
It's not the same drug at all. You have a joint, you still know
what you're doing. You go off your head on Class A
substances. There's a fine line between
knowing what you're doing and not having a clue where you're
going. Then like you could seriously
fuck yourself up or someone elseup using drugs like coke, crack,

(23:27):
heroin. I believe there's a drug out
there called, what's the name ofit?
It's a new drug though. It's in Dublin at the minute.
A lot of homeless lads are you, isn't it?
Spice. Fentanyl.
Fentanyl. Fentanyl, stuff like that,
that's kind of like that's dangerous, dangerous stuff.

(23:47):
People that are taking that haven't got a clue.
We're always saying the likes ofthe documentaries, that's going
to fuck up a lot of people when it gets over here properly
because people in Ireland don't know how to say no.
Especially the likes of the ladsin town that are strung out on
the heavy drugs like and as well, those boys in town that

(24:08):
are strung out on heavy drugs. And then there's the likes of
all the young lads who can't getout of the life of selling the
heavy drugs because they're in atoo deep into it and they don't,
they don't have the help there. Our government doesn't help
people like that. They don't give a rat's about
us. Do you know what I mean?
Like our government will never set up something to help the

(24:29):
young lads that are actually selling the drugs.
Stop selling the drugs. They don't care about people
like that. I heard you say something before
that they're trapped in the trap.
Trapped in the trap, yeah. It's powerful.
What does that mean to people who don't understand?
Like I understand that explain to people what trapped in the
trap mean, because that's a verypowerful sentence.
A friend of mine said it to me one day and that was basically
he was in the loaf of selling drugs.

(24:50):
Now selling drugs was never my thing, so we wouldn't know much
about it. So when I'm talking from
experiences from friends of mineand he told me one day that he
was trapped in the trap and he said, well, explain it to me.
He was saying I can't tell this person that went down this far.
No, we have to do it and I'm trapped in the trap leaf because

(25:11):
that's what people call it down in Dublin.
It's trapping, it's graft and it's, do you know what I mean?
So like they can't it's, it's easy to get into, but it's not
very easy to get back out of. And on about Class A drugs,
which like your age group, like you're a similar age to my
nephew and stuff like that. And it's worrying when you see

(25:34):
all the drug use that is around and drugs are so easily got now,
like you can go on Snapchat and you can order drugs to your
front door and stuff. Like when we were younger, there
was nothing like that. But like Class A drugs.
Would you know a lot of people around your age group that do
Class A drug? Is it a big thing?
Class A drugs? Massive.
You can't if you walk into a pubin Dublin compared to down here.

(25:59):
It's one in 10 probably down here.
We're in Dublin. It's is it bad down here?
Is it? I had a bouncer telling me that
if he stopped all the cocaine going into the pub the public
and have no customers. Yeah, no, that's, that's always
actually I heard a story before from a fella in the pub and the
bar manager was in the toilet and he, my friend was washing

(26:20):
his hands at the time. And the fella who was walking in
the bar turned around him and hesaid the small cocaine and hair.
Then there is in Colombia, like people, a lot of people can't go
out and have one without the other.
Yeah, that's. That's the way I would have been
personally. Yeah, and worse.
So I'm gonna gonna ask you something.
Feel free not to answer, Right. So with all that going on, OK,

(26:42):
and everything that you're seeing and your age group and
you're navigating all this at your age, right, with all that
you're seeing out there and you're doing amazing, you're
doing all your motivation. You're really inspiring.
You're bringing such positive attention to subjects and topics
that need to be talked about that people aren't talking
about, especially at your age, right?
You're in all this work. And you said something earlier
that really hit home. And I heard, you heard you say

(27:04):
it to me last night. And it really hit home with me
that people think you're going home to all roses and bells and
whistles and all the rest of it,but you're not.
You're going home to a tricky situation.
Yeah. How difficult is that for you?
How difficult is that for you onyour journey, navigating, going
home to that? It's difficult and it's not
difficult. I love my family to death and

(27:26):
the seven of us in a 2 bedroom house and the person who always
share the bedroom with is my uncle.
Now recently the only thing that's out to having to change
was I've had to ask him just to go out the back when he's having
a joint. I don't mind leaving them
rolling in the house because that's actually helping me say

(27:47):
no in the future. It's just the smell of it that
gets me. Like I could walk down the road
and we could smell somebody smoking a joint and then it's in
the head. Would it be gone where if that's
in the house, it's sticking to it's it's sticking to the smell
is sticking to the things in thehouse and it's it's not going as

(28:09):
easy as walking down the road, walking past somebody.
Do you know what I mean? So you walk past somebody, it's
gone where? If it's in the house, smoking in
the house, like we would have smoked in the house and it just
clings the things and then it's very hard to get the smell out
of the house. Then.
So like one day we walked into the house and I'd know that he

(28:32):
was at the having a joint in thehouse and that just clicked with
me then and I actually had to turn around, just walk straight
back out of the house because itwas getting to me.
That's your home. Just put it into context.
That's your home. Or have a tricky situation at
home. It wouldn't be the best, but I
wouldn't change it either because I wouldn't be the person
who I am today if it didn't, if it didn't grow up having the

(28:53):
life that I did have. Like there was an individual who
was, let's say he was parted family and that was very tricky
for us because he was also addicted to cannabis and
addicted to coding and tablets. And there was a lot of trouble
caused in the house, a lot of trouble.

(29:13):
And that would have been the start of heavy usage for me, got
to do with grass. So we were seeing everybody else
around me smoking it. So we just thought I'm just
going to be like everybody else,you know what I mean?
And what happened was we startedoff taking bits of grass on this
fella and then we actually, we got into the ground and that was

(29:34):
where like my fascination for a kicked off because it was like
it's not as easy as just puttinga seed into a plant pot.
Like it's down to pH, it's down to temperature, it's down to
airflow, making sure that the airflow is strong enough for the
plants to be moved and so that the ground and strength stuff

(29:55):
like that. And I was no, but it's very
satisfied about it. And that's that that's that's
where this. Yeah.
It was fascinating. So that's where it really
started. And at the time we would only
been for smoking grass, so we wouldn't have took any other
substances where now would be would have the odd dawdling all

(30:18):
that things very, very, very occasionally to know what I mean
like. How we find in navigating that
is it difficult for you with everything?
It isn't, it isn't like I wouldn't, I wouldn't like to get
into a loop of using them types of substances every day.
And me page helps me with that alot because I have people out
there that I'm helping. Like we have a lot of people

(30:40):
contacting me and I'm not going to get into it because I keep
everything confidential. So we have a lot of people that
we know I'm helping before everyone person that texts me or
in reaching 10/15/20 people thatdon't have to go yet to reach
out and contact me. But they can see what you're
doing. Exactly.
They can. They can see it.
They can watch. By the day.

(31:01):
Yeah. Definitely people watching.
It I went to bed one day with 4Kviewers, I woke up the next day
with 24K. You know, that make you feel I
was delighted with life. That's me best video that I'm
not to having so far. It's up to 44 K now, probably
45, you know, and that like thatreally that's very it's very
motivational for me because I like the way that it's at the

(31:25):
just jumping over and like 44,000 people.
That's a lot of people and if you can help 100 and people,
that's a big achieve. It's a big achievement.
So like, right, this is cool, right?
Because there's a lot of, there's a lot of addiction
around social media, right? There's a lot of external
gratification from the likes, the shares and all that stuff

(31:45):
around social media. But from what I hear from you,
it's nothing to do with the likes.
It's nothing to do with like what's going on.
It's nothing to do with the external.
It's to do how many people you're helping, how many people
it's reached. I like getting good views, I
like getting good looks and I like getting the looks of repost
and stuff like that because that's just spreading the
awareness for what's to come. Like I do a series at the minute

(32:08):
called tree questions on the questions we're about use were
on and that's only the start, but that's just my takeoff
point. So eventually tree questions on
the questions will come to an end and that's when I'll have me
following and that's when the real awareness will start
kicking off where I'll starting about probably arranging maybe

(32:29):
days out for people family days out for exactly get together.
Yeah, a community. Yeah.
You see fully motivation with Garrett as a community.
It's not, it's not just for me or for me own benefit or to make
money off. That was never the plan.
So you spent probably you've probably spent way more money on
this page than you've ever made anything off.

(32:50):
Definitely 100 percent, 100%. I put a lot of money into it and
I put a lot of time and effort into, but I love down.
I love the thought that only I could be helping somebody.
You see like and as well you getyour odds video that won't get
the views or the likes or stuff like that.
And that doesn't bother me wherethat bothers a lot of people

(33:10):
now. I would rather me videos doing
well, but if my goal for every video is if I get 1000 views I'm
happy once it's not on that 1000views I don't want.
Why? Why the 1000 views?
Just how? Curiosity.
Why the 1000 views? I don't know, it's just.
Does it, does it make you feel like you're you're reaching

(33:31):
more, like you're helping more people?
It's more so down to looking professional because I want to.
Eventually I'd like to get very professional with social media
because we'll be going down or our aspects down the line.
Maybe even a podcast I could getyourself.
It's all just time, effort and learning.

(33:53):
You see, every day is a learningday as well.
Like people, people don't realize that every day you learn
something new. You've been with us for like a
day and a bit now and I've learned so much from you alone.
Like so much and away from all that I've watched you like
you're such an intelligent young.
Man, Oh, you're so smart. We actually had this

(34:13):
conversation last night. I said Peter, I said like,
Gareth is such a cool kid. Like he's like you really are.
You're just like, you're so intelligent.
You're so smart. You're well spoken and like, you
show a lot of love. Like you have a lovely aura
around you. You've got a beautiful energy.
Beautiful. Well, that's another thing we
have to learn a lot about as well, since I came down here
with the likes of the Boufo and the Cabo.

(34:35):
Is it combo? That's something that would be
looking into it when I got home because I tell you I'm very
intrigued and that but. That's it.
Like you take stuff in, like I've had conversations with
other young lads, right And it'samazing talking to Wall because
there's like flicking, yeah, they have no interest.
They have no interest with you. You're like, tell me more.
Like we said, tell. Me more you.

(34:56):
Sat with us last night and watched our combo experience
even like, and I was watching it.
You didn't take your eyes off the screen.
You were very like asking questions like what did this
feel like? What's that feel?
Like I was asking a lot of questions that just couldn't
even answer as ourselves, like because I was just, I was
getting very into it. Shout out to a man that does
that. I'll give you a text, but I tell

(35:18):
you that's something that might be very intrigued into because
I'd like to, I'd like to see where that could take me because
I don't know enough about it. And the only way that you'll
know about it is if you're goingthrough it.
Now, we could go and try it and it might not be for me, but
you'll never know unless you tryit.
You see, I was in a very comfortable bed every day,
smoking grass. That's what we call it, just a
comfortable bed. Now, it doesn't actually mean

(35:39):
lying in bed, but a lot of the time I would have been lying in
bed. But it's not.
It's not down to that. It's more so down.
It's it's a metaphor for so it was in a comfortable bed.
We're now or you say there ain'tno response in this game.
And that's because we don't get a take till as much as people

(36:01):
believe in the soul and stuff like that and past life in this
life that only men right now before we do it tomorrow or
you're not going to respond likemean Grand Theft Auto or Black
Ops, you know what I mean? So that's I just want to try as
much things as possible. So then I feel like I've
fulfilled something in life. Like I've said this to a few

(36:24):
people say for an instance tragedy happened or do it
tomorrow or do a happy man now compared to what it was because
I feel like my accomplishing something and I'm not even I'm
not even that out there comparedto people that are out there.
But eventually I will be. But even from where to what
where I am now to where there was, I feel like I'm at the

(36:45):
accomplishing many, I think. Many have I've seen as I've
watched. Them.
They can fall in your journey, right?
So it's just on that. Do you think too many lives and
like girls, like too many adolescents, do too many people
your age live like there's a response?
Do you think they think there's a response?
There's no value for life anymore, Peter.

(37:06):
No value for life whatsoever. More so in countries like
America, like. In your experience, what you've
seen grown up, do you think likewhat you've seen in in like the
areas you've grown up and the people you've been around?
Do you think like there's no value there?
They think there's going to be arespawn they don't even think
of. Yeah, it does.
Like there's a lot of lads, goodfriends of mine even that jump

(37:29):
on a bike for 500CC, no helmet on and they'd be waiting in the
bike up and down the road and you're like man, you're going to
do a few come off that bike, do you know what I mean?
And they don't take that into consideration.
It's the adrenaline rush that they get from it.
Like or you have no problem withbikes or many a time being out
on bikes myself, or at least wear a bloody helmet, man.

(37:53):
Do you know what I'm in it like?But you see, for a long time and
I don't, I'm not too sure about this, so don't hold me to it.
But for a long time there was a,there's a rail in Ireland where
if a life goes out on a week with no helmet on, it can't be
rammed off the boy. Yeah.
There's a lot. There's a lot of.
But it's a catch 22. Look, it's it's an urban thing

(38:14):
that I even grew up known. We used to do it.
We used to be on bikes for our helmets in Scotland would be the
same as well. Like again, when I was living
like that, I had no, no value for life.
And that's what you're seeing up.
There and you see at the same time it's a catch 22 because
lads are going out on these weeks with no helmets on.
And if that young flea wraps that week around the policy, for

(38:38):
instance, he's at the killing himself, he's at the down the
job for the old bill. The old bill don't have to ram
you anymore because you're goingto do it yourself and nobody
will be held accountable for it except for you, You know what I
mean? And it's sad like it is.
And these young lives that are going out on these bikes and
involved in the trap and involved and everything, like I
know I've been around this 8090%of them are good young lives.

(39:01):
Like they just have nowhere to put that energy.
You see? What do you see that?
What do you say even about yourself as we was always a good
kid, we just got lost somewhere along the way.
What? Do you think you got lost?
It's in their own leaving scale.What's in Captain?
Down to the situation at home would say it would have been you

(39:22):
know, it was it was very hard onthe head and stuff like that,
you know so that's that's that'swhen the psychosis and all came
was after we're doing a big growwith an individual.
That's when the paranoia startedto come and stuff like that and
we thought it was this fucking gangster that real gangsters

(39:43):
that laugh. You know what I mean?
Like he was exactly, exactly. That's that's the clip that.
And anytime, anytime, like saying if you smoke a joint or
whatever, do you ever have the fear that the psychosis will
come back? No, not now, because we know

(40:07):
that when in control of the drugand the drugs not in control of
me. OK.
And like explain that. So it's a hard one to explain,
but yeah. So when we say when we have the
odd joint, it's planned, it's not it's not just one day have a

(40:29):
joint. It's like I'd have to be gone.
They own something, say like forinstance, me and my girlfriend
watching a movie, load of sweets, stuff like that.
She's edgy, yeah. I've gone on so well.
I think she's dead. You just had to do that, sorry.
Yeah, she's a legend now. She is, and a big part of me,

(40:50):
Change Me Way would have been for four as well, because I
wanted to give her the life thatshe deserves because she's done
an awful lot for me. I have to say.
Show going out to Amy. You're so cute, Yeah.
Wow. Yeah.
It's just, it's like, it's powerful.
Just you as like a young lad, man, You're like, you're such an
old soul and such a young body like it's.

(41:12):
Just that's it, you see, oh, youhave to grow up very quickly.
So when I was say 910 years of age or you have to have the mind
of an 1819 year old. So now, now I feel like made me
towards these are new. Do you know what I mean?
Like then there was twins that me and my family, like we were

(41:32):
homeless and we were sleeping incars, me and my brother.
And as much as they were bad situations or wouldn't ever want
to change them because a lot of good memories came from stuff
like that. Like a memory that sticks out
very fondly in my head would have been sleeping on Rush Beach
down in Dublin, me and the brother in the farm Mondeo and

(41:54):
we had the seats pulled down at the back so we were cushy.
We were, we were well looked after.
Like we had the oy pads gone andwe went around to the local
Chinese, got a big munchie box. We made the best out of a bad
situation. Do you know what I mean?
How have you got? So it's a positive growth
mindset. Just because for so many years

(42:15):
it's just been negativity and I just, I haven't got the time a
day for negativity anymore. I really haven't.
There's no time for even negative people.
I don't like really having them around me for long periods of
time. Like like a lot of people are
sitting around you and you couldbe doing a world of good and
everybody's always and thereforein that one thing to pick out

(42:38):
what you're down and put that down to the ground just because
they're miserable in their own lives.
Do you know what man, and like always do, say you can bring a
horse to water, but you can't make him drink it?
So if somebody's very negative, if you can help them so much,
but they have to help themselvesto get out of that negative life
that they're in. Same and everything going to

(42:59):
change in it anyone until you decided to help yourself.
Yeah, it's not going to change. It really isn't because the way
it is, a lot of people don't want to put the work in.
A lot of people look for quick fixes and if they if they want
something and it doesn't change tomorrow, they give up straight
away and they blame everybody else around them.
So you have to put the way you have to look inside to fix

(43:20):
yourself. People think that fixing
yourself is something that's going to come over and even
today, like we have bad days still, but we may.
Everybody has bad days, you knowwhat I mean?
It's it's how you deal with themand how you deal with the days
after that matter. Because a bad day can't always

(43:42):
just be a bad day. I can turn into a bad week or a
bad month. Do you know what I mean?
So if we have a bad day, we normally text me girlfriend
because I'm always happy when I'm with my girlfriend.
I don't think we've ever had a proper argument like what?

(44:02):
Just we're the same person, we're just two different fonts.
I love that. I love.
That different, just same energyin it just.
And yeah, like when you're together, it's just like.
You could imagine Garrett without Amy.
You know it's cute. Yeah, now, like I have to say,
she's done an awful lot for me do.
You think that's been a huge catalyst, your change a huge

(44:23):
pair. Totally.
I'd still be smoking grass todayif we didn't bump into Amy.
I'd still be lying in that same bed, 100%, 100%.
You really embrace the uncomfortable, even though that
a cold shower this morning, likeyou're genuinely, you walk the
walk. You're not someone who's online
saying, oh, guys do this, oh guys do that and then come off

(44:43):
and just like spare cup joints and get stoned up.
You're not you do what you say you do.
I've seen it. There's no point.
In no, you lose respect. To people and you will be picked
apart. Especially in the world of
social media, you will be pickedto shreds.
Like say even if we are having the odd joint, we'd never go out
and have a joint because there'salways people out there that

(45:05):
could get the odd picture of youand that can ruin you in an
instance. Like we have one that tells the
followers on about more pages and we still worry about stuff
like that. Even when I go out to have the
odd gargle here, I do. I don't think I've been actually
drunk since we started my page. Now I've had no, actually I did.
I had one or two days that I didget drunk, but like that it was

(45:29):
it was more so in the comfort ofme house when I went home and
had a few more gargles. You know what I mean?
Like it wouldn't be out in a pubwhere I'd get out of me face
because that lonely come back tobleach.
Especially in the world of social media.
Have you found right? I know I'm hitting a lot of
questions, sorry. I'm just so intrigued.
Like, don't worry, we have questions.

(45:51):
For you, have you found like thebetter you're doing, the better
your mindset, the more positive you are, the more upbeat you
are, the more change you're bringing in, the more lives are
changing? Have you found that you've had
that bit more people trying to drag you back down?
That's a good question. No.
Wow. OK.

(46:11):
Like I think since I started more social media, I think we've
probably got less than 10. Hey comms, you know there is
people that like to put a snarlycomment on it, but it's not hate
comment. It's just people that are
miserable in their own loose andone day if they want to reach
out on that our own account, we wouldn't hold a grudge against

(46:33):
them. People.
You see a lot of people that trya hate comment up, their
username will be user 63529 or something fucking stupid.
You know what I mean? It'd never be John Fucking yeah.
It's yeah, you know what I mean?It's always going to be somebody
that's on that account that's plainly just for scroll.
Yeah, patrolling and scrolling. Exactly.

(46:56):
Well. I just want to ask one thing.
Where did you come up with the ideas of three questions in a
question? You see a saying a lot of people
down the likes of the fucking their own series is so like you
have the likes to get better with Chris.
He does for if K with Chris. Then you have the looks of the

(47:18):
back to class podcast. They do class questions.
So then I said to myself, well, what are we going to do for the
series? So it says, well, what's my
account about some my account isabout bad experience that has
happened. So then I thought the question,
what's the worst experience you've had in life?

(47:40):
Then the name came into play fora motivational car.
What motivated you to do what you're doing today?
And then the last question was aquestion that you're mostly
hearing in the looks of skill and that and that's where would
you like to be in 40 of a 10 years time.
So I said I'll go for that and then ask me a question was a way

(48:04):
of spreading awareness to peoplebecause you never know what
question you're going to get. It's mad though, because a lot
of the time it's the same question.
Isn't it a lot of the time it's the same question?
Yeah, it is now like even now, not that I want people to be
scripted. I've tried to say stay away from
the questions that have been asked already, change it up a

(48:25):
bit. You know what I mean?
Like because those them answers are already out there.
But it does. It does just show that
everyone's asking, thinking the same thing.
Like, where did this come from? Like, like, like what motivated
you do next? Where everyone's got that?
Like, wow, this is amazing. But like, who's got them?
Where did this all come from? Like why is Garrett doing this?
Yeah, you see a lot of people that like would follow my

(48:47):
account, not like be people thatknow me personally and they'd
they'd know the totally per person that it was.
And they're like garden set to down the 360 real quick.
What's the start? Yeah, 180, yeah.
Said this to me. This is Peter.
You've done a 360 and like I've not done a 360.
If I did a 360, I'd be right back where I started.

(49:07):
Did a 180, completely changed it, but I'm still going.
Yeah, I. Like that I like.
That you can have it for free, but if you get fit or when you
get. Fit copyright I Copyright, yeah.
That's mine. Garrett Is there Anton like if
there's any lads your age, girls, whatever and they're

(49:30):
struggling say with psychosis oranything like that, is there any
advice that you could give them?Like how did, how will I ask
this? Say, for example, if you didn't
have that experience where the guards and the ambulance and all
that came to pick you up. Is there anything else that you
think that's out there for the younger people to reach out to

(49:53):
where they can get help and support?
If someone's going through a psychosis, they need a big
support network, so you can always reach out to me, but I'm
not a doctor and we're not goingto be at fault of anybody doing
anything stupid. So we'll have a very basic chat

(50:15):
with you and I'll tell you what are we doing to overcome more
psychosis and you can take from that what you want.
I'm not there to help people with mental problems.
I'm not a psychologist or not a doctor, so I don't want to be
the fault of putting anybody wrong.
What I'd say to someone that's going through a psychosis would
be do not use substances for as long as you need to.

(50:41):
You will know when or if you canever take substances again.
Some people can't do you know what I mean?
Like some people that go throughlike we went through a very
moral psychosis compared to psychosis that some people can
go through and we came out very well after.
We're not many people there. You see psychosis you have,

(51:05):
well, from my experience, we hadthe main psychosis and then
after four weeks I'd have probably an episode once a week
and that could have went on for probably up to a year.
Well, now what have what went onfor about 8 months and then I
started having the joint again and that's going to when it all

(51:27):
stopped because I was in a happyplace at the time.
Now I'm not saying that's going to work for everybody, that work
for me. Everybody has a different
moment. I, I suffered psychosis and
like, I didn't stop using substances and that was, I was
very delusional. My mindset, my reality, reality

(51:47):
and what was happening in my mind was so far from connected.
And I lived in a very delusional, unrealistic world
where my, my idea of what was happening around me wasn't
actually happening at all. It was completely I was so
disassociated from myself and from life.
I. Have a question for you now?

(52:07):
OK, no, go ahead. Do you still believe that some
things that happened to you thatyou are vision in that
psychosis? Do you still believe today that
some of them things were real? I don't know right?
So here's the thing, because of I've had multiple psychosis.
So I had a lot of crack abuse inmy life.
And with the crack abuse, I usedto smoke cannabis and cannabis

(52:32):
and cocaine mixed together create psychosis.
It creates psychosis, right? I do, I do talks, I walk, I
walk, I go around to different schools and colleges and I talk
about this because people don't understand it.
Because unfortunately in Irelandtoday, those who sell cannabis
sell cocaine. It's just how it is.
It's the, it's, it's, it's the drugs that come together, right?
It's just how it is and people who's like sniffing coke will

(52:53):
smoke weed to come back down. They don't understand that
actually is the worst thing you could do to yourself.
Because you're stressed out your.
Heart as well. It's everything.
It's your chemicals, your endorphins, your mind,
everything. There's a lot to it.
There's a lot of neuroscience. Yeah.
So like, there's there's a neuroscientist who I'm hopefully
going to talk about stuff like this and we'll see, you know,
you know, here. So how to put it right.

(53:15):
So today I have flashbacks, I have memories.
And as I said to Sofia there oneof the weeks, sometimes I can't
differentiate from what is real and what is made-up and what was
what I suffered through psychosis, what actually really
happened to me in life, what I thought happened to me, what did
happen to me. This, this fair on three and a

(53:36):
bit years in and five years frommy last psychosis, you know,
four years from my last psychosis, I still can't
differentiate what was actually reality, what was reality, What
was that? So I just, yeah.
So I just have to let that go and I have to understand that
that was then. And thankfully and luckily and

(53:57):
for the work I've put in, it's never going to happen again.
And I have to just hold on to that.
I never have to experience that again.
But I understand what you're talking about.
I've experienced it. So yeah, I at times I, I can't
differentiate even now. So like, even if you can't
differentiate, don't hold, don'thold on.

(54:17):
You see, we wouldn't think of a lot of things from your
psychosis now or you'd be the same as yourself or you had to
let that go because that was that was been that would have
been one of the main things thatwas starting or that psychotic
episodes was arguments with people about what all you felt
was real and what they were telling me wasn't real.

(54:40):
They weren't going through what it was going through.
Like I thought, I thought the postman was a hitman.
I thought to teach a teacher that my skill here I'm very,
very close friends with was a hitman.
Stuff like that, like and. That felt really very real to
you. Oh. 100%.
So what would you say to someonewho's trying to support a person
in psychosis? That's very hard.

(55:03):
Let's say. Just don't give up on because a
lot of people give up on. I think he's too far gone.
He's gone splats. He needs to go and get help
where sometimes people can get that help just at home or down
to even probably just going to the hospital for a few days for
a little relax or something likethat, you know?

(55:24):
Yeah, just a reset. Like when we was going through
psychosis, a big thing that would cause trouble with my
family over would have been saying that we were sick.
Like when I would have said to people got it sick where we
didn't feel sick or sick was physically getting sick.

(55:45):
Do you know what I mean? But it it is a sickness like it
really is. And I only sit back and think
about today that it is a sickness where it was causing
trouble with me, man, and stuff like that.
Because she was telling people that was sick and we felt like
that was kind of telling everybody me business and stuff
like that. You know what I mean?
Where people would be insane andhearing it, especially people

(56:08):
from around the area. I've had a lot of altercations
out on the street with family, neighbors, stuff like that.
Because I was just, I was never,I was never over the top.
But like, we'd never let someonewhen we felt I was being walked

(56:29):
on, that wasn't happening for people.
Do you know what I mean? We wouldn't let people think
that they walked on me. Exactly.
Like we had an old occasion one day on the road with the
neighbor and he came out with say, do you ever see a spade
that they bring a kid to bring to the beach?

(56:50):
He came away from one of them around.
And I'm actually I'm blessed because we picked up a big huge
like a watch it imagine you'd see in a movie a grave digger
shovel like that very long, probably bigger than myself
standing up and all he was swinging around the place.
If we had to hit him, we could have killed him.
Stone death. Do you know what I mean?
Like it's. Just a split second like.

(57:11):
You're not thinking, no, like you're just you're in and moving
the around. You're in a rage, you're feeling
it's random stuff like that. You don't like, you're just,
you're going off, do you? Ever have moments like that
today? I haven't in a very long time.
The only thing that would cause trouble over there would be

(57:34):
somebody's threatening me, family or something like that.
Like I'm a very family orientated person.
Exactly like I'd never go looking for trouble, but if
trouble comes to me I'll be the 4th person to finish it.
Yeah, but you don't have to do that today.
Because like that as well. Yeah, only four in trouble when
you go causing trouble. And I wouldn't go causing
trouble on anybody. Like even sitting on the

(57:56):
podcast, I'm using words like individual because I'm not
looking for a beef or trouble from it.
You know what I mean? It's it's just my story and what
I've went through. You know what I mean?
And that's that's healthy because it shows you have
healthy boundaries. But.
Also shows you respect. Yeah, there's a lot of young
people that wouldn't. People that we've had
altercations with have their ownproblems, like they have their

(58:18):
own addictions and stuff like that.
And I wouldn't wish anybody on anybody.
I hope that they're all doing well, even if they have bra
trouble to my life and trauma tomy life.
We don't hate anybody because. You understand what it?
Is or you understand that now where people have me family
would have hatred against these people where we wouldn't because

(58:41):
we've walked that walk and we know what it's like and we know
how bad it can get for people. Do you know what I mean?
Like. It's very understanding.
It's beautiful. It really is.
Like it really is, but like to have that the growth in that is
powerful when you're when we hold hatred, when we hold
resentment, we're holding the poison to ourselves.

(59:02):
It doesn't do us any good at all.
No it doesn't. No, it's you asked me that
question earlier on in the kitchen and I thought it was so
beautiful and powerful of you toask me would I ever forgive my
father? And I said to you, I already
have. You didn't seem like what?
How could you forgive them? It's kind of like you understood
what I meant, that forgiveness when you dislike someone or you

(59:25):
hate someone, it just hurts yourself.
Yeah, you have to forgive, but not forget.
Do you know what I mean? Like you said that to me earlier
on, you can forgive, but you don't have to forget and you
don't have to have these people in your life anymore.
But if you're holding hatred against people, that's only
going to affect you. Do you know what I mean exactly?

(59:47):
It's in your mind every day, those people.
Say they're living rent free in your head.
Like that's what I do say to people that are having
situations with people and they'd be sitting there and
they'd be having a chat with youabout these people.
And I turn around to them and say, well, do you think that
that person is sitting at home having the same chat about you?
You know what I mean? Because not, it's not even like

(01:00:09):
that half the time to know what I mean.
It's, it's happened, it's all myway.
Forget about it. Where it sticks with some people
for a long time. Like do you know what I mean?
It's like you're, you're very lucky with social media and
stuff that you don't get any of the bad engagement and stuff
like that. But like for your age group and
even for our age group, any age group, social media, social

(01:00:33):
media can be extremely toxic. Like if if you jump on board
like do you know many people that have been affected by
social media in any way? Well, I wouldn't say I know them
personally, but like your Mind Garden Garden, Yeah, that was

(01:00:55):
that's been in the media lately.Like he shut down all the social
media. I believe he actually has backup
and run now. But like he was somebody that
was flowing and but like that social media and you'd see it
with the likes of your man that the protem bar fella.
He said one thing and that's at the fork in his hole.

(01:01:18):
He's just he's not in the loop no more, and he probably never
will be. What's it, what's it been like
growing up in an era of social media?
I know when we grew up, right when I speak for myself when I
grew up. Pay phones.
Right. We tell people like, oh, I ring
at six if I grew up in your era.So if we had camera phones when
I was growing up, I still be in prison, right?

(01:01:38):
I'd probably never be getting released.
What's it like growing up when all eyes are on you?
You can't. You can't fart sideways without.
Someone it's like, it's like being in a prison with no walls
around you, with the way. Switch going through tick tock
and all that. A lot of the lads that are
living the heavy life, they are porn every part of their

(01:01:59):
criminality on social media and they are only going to end or
forking themselves up because they're basically ratting on the
self. Like back in your day it was
fine the rat, now it's people ratting on the self so.
What's it like growing up aroundall?

(01:02:19):
That it's very easy to be suckedinto.
Like we know a lot of people that have went down the wrong
road and life, and I know a lot of people that haven't.
And it's more of a it's all you think it's down to how you grow
up on how you're going to torn out.
And it's a lot of the time it's down to who you surround
yourself with.