April 17, 2025 • 43 mins
In this episode, we explore the powerful journey from disconnection to wholeness through embodiment and sexual healing. Together with our guest Luci Lampe, we unpack what true embodiment means—beyond the buzzwords—and how daily practices like intentional movement and self-pleasure can open deeper channels of creativity and spiritual connection.
We also dive into the often misunderstood realm of sexual healing—not just for trauma survivors, but for anyone conditioned to disconnect from their sensuality. This conversation sheds light on how reclaiming your sexual energy is a path to creative expression, magnetic presence, and spiritual freedom. Tune in for an honest, expansive dialogue on reclaiming your body, your voice, and your power.
About Luci:
Luci Lampe is a mom of 4 (soon to be 5), trauma-informed sex & relationship coach, award-winning singer and songwriter, commercial actress & print model, and 3X author. Her writing has been featured on the Huffington Post, Forbes, Entrepreneur.com, CBS, and Fox.
After overcoming an autoimmune disorder and embarking on a deep healing journey and spiritual awakening during her former husband’s 2-year disability and depression, Luci’s work shifted deeper into the realms of erotic liberation and spiritual reclamation. Now, after her journey of conscious uncoupling from a 17-year marriage and unexpectedly experiencing new love, she brings a new depth to the message of open-Hearted living + relating for couples, women, and men.
Find Luci:
https://lucilampe.com/
https://www.instagram.com/lucilampe/
Follow us on Instagram, leave a review, and share your experiences – we'd love to hear what resonates with you!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Welcome to the Heal Yourself Podcast, where we dive
deep into all things healing.
I'm Denise, a speech languagepathologist and a self-love
coach for adults and teens.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
And I'm Kira, a traditional naturopath and
functional nutritionist, andwe're here to guide you through
the transformative process ofhealing your body, mind and soul
From the latest in functionalmedicine, of healing your body,
mind and soul, from the latestin functional medicine to
nurturing your relationship withyourself, healing trauma and
even transforming your moneystory.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
we're here to empower you with the knowledge and
tools to create lasting change.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
So, whether you're looking to heal physically,
emotionally or spiritually, joinus as we explore the many paths
to wholeness and wellness.
Hello everyone, welcome back toanother episode of Heal
Yourself Podcast.
Today you have me and Denise,and we are joined by special
(01:02):
guest Lucy Lampe.
So I'm going to introduce her.
She is a mom of four, soon tobe five, trauma-informed sex and
relationship coach,award-winning singer and
songwriter, commercial actressand print model and three-time
author.
Her writing has been featuredon the Huffington Post, forbes,
entrepreneurcom, cbs and Fox.
(01:24):
After overcoming an autoimmunedisorder and embarking on a deep
healing journey and spiritualawakening during her former
husband's two-year disabilityand depression, lucy's work
shifted deeper into the realmsof erotic liberation and
spiritual reclamation.
I can't even say thatReclamation, reclamation,
whatever.
We're going with it, guys.
And now, after her journey ofconscious uncoupling from a
(01:53):
17-year marriage andunexpectedly experiencing new
love, she brings a new depth tothe message of open-hearted
living and relating to couples,women and men.
And that's a long one, but weneeded to say it because Lucy's
pretty epic.
Speaker 3 (02:05):
Oh, thank you, Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
We've known you for a long, long, long time and I
mean I've known Lucy forprobably over 10 years or like
10, around 10 years, and I know,maybe with Kira it's, like you
know, maybe close to six, seven,but it's just so crazy.
I know we did somethingtogether so long ago.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
Oh, it was like a lifetime ago.
Lifetimes ago, that's what itfeels like.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
We're so excited to see you and to have you here.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
Well, yeah, tell us.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
We love to start with you telling our audience how
did you get to this place,because you have had a journey
and we have witnessed some of iton social media, but other
people aren't going to know.
So, like, what brings you tothe space?
Speaker 3 (02:51):
Well, let's see in a nutshell how much can I condense
this?
Basically, when, denise, whenyou and I met I remember it was
in the entrepreneur context,right I was hosting my first
event for mom entrepreneurs.
I was very much in mymompreneur brand era and which,
(03:12):
interestingly, it was called thesexy mama movement, right.
But there was a part of me thatI was like I don't feel sexy, I
kind of resist.
I used that word because Iresisted it.
I was like I need to reclaimthis right.
I used that word because Iresisted it and I was like I
need to reclaim this right.
But that really was beforegoing through deep sexual
(03:34):
healing and erotic liberationand all of this and really
reclaiming these more darktexture aspects of myself as
well.
But yeah, at that time I wasreally just focused on finding
peace and I just knew that Ididn't have it and I knew that
everything outside of medetermined how I felt and that
(03:58):
just wasn't sustainable and Iwas tired of it and I couldn't
live like that anymore.
So during that period of time,ryan was going through my
ex-husband was going throughthat period of depression and
disability and I was figuringout how to navigate the next
steps in my business as anentrepreneur, supporting a
family of six already at thattime, because our youngest was
(04:18):
just a newborn and I was goingthrough a lot of severe
autoimmune issues in my body.
So just everything all at once.
It was the rock bottom thatjust activated a new path for me
emotional intelligence,starting to kind of learn what
(04:49):
shadow work was maybe a year ortwo after that and exploring
more of the spiritual aspect ofof all of this too.
The somatic healing thatfollowed after that.
So the journey kind of startedas I feel suffocated by life and
I need some new tools and Istarted deconstructing my faith
because the church tools weren'tquite cutting it for me.
I'm like, how do I give it toGod?
Like how, how is this God'splan?
(05:10):
Like, what do I?
What the fuck do I do in themeantime?
And then it kind of one thingled to another.
Then it went more into therelationship, the well, the
personal sexual healing,self-pleasure practice, doing
more embodied, somaticexperiencing things like that,
going deeper into the body.
(05:30):
And now it's kind of just thisfull circle moment where we hit
all the things the nervoussystem, the karmic cycles, the
soul path, the erotic embodimentand how it expresses in
relationship, and that's kind ofwhere I've landed right now.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Love it, love it, love it, love it.
Lucy, talk to us aboutembodiment.
We hear this word a lot and I'mnot going to deny that it can
be confusing to a lot of people,like you said like, like, how
the heck am I going to give itto god, right?
How is this the you know god'splan or whatever?
How the heck?
(06:09):
Because we hear it also be youfirst, gotta be you first gotta
embody your true self.
You gotta, but then one, yougotta remember who your freaking
true self is and what it camehere for who the hell am I right
?
Speaker 2 (06:22):
so I feel that there is.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
I want us to simplify it and that's how I.
You know I love everythingsimple.
That's why I remember I stillremember your little book, the
Sexy Mama Morning, and then whenwe did this challenge, this
little tiny book was amazingbecause it was so simple, and I
love how you simplify things.
And I even remember I couldn'teven get up before.
Like back when I did thechallenge with you, I couldn't
(06:46):
get up before 10 and 11.
And then I was waking up at 5 am, and now I have my routine of
waking up between 5 am and 6 am,and this is where it sparked it
, to be honest.
So talk to us embodiment.
Give us some tips, let'ssimplify.
Embodiment, though, to somebodywho is just I really want to do
it, but girl, I can't.
Speaker 3 (07:06):
Yeah, okay.
So I want to also preface thiswith, like that, actually that
morning practice that I sharedin that in that morning book.
Thank you for.
Thank you for referencing thatCause oh my God, that was.
I was very much aboutsimplifying, like how do we make
this practical?
That's my Capricorn part.
It's like how do we just makeit work?
Let's, let's just get getfunctional down to business.
(07:33):
That having a routine in placereally is what set me up for
this deeper stuff, because, interms of, let's say, people talk
about, you know the, themasculine and feminine energies
we all have them.
They get a little bit muddledonline, I think when we hear
about them in simplified terms,there's only a really small deep
.
You can go online, let's behonest.
But my masculine, innermasculine energy had been being
(07:56):
refined.
I had a routine.
My shift was thinking of it asa routine of self-discipline and
shifting that to.
These are my rituals.
These are my rituals, this ismy devotion to love, this is my
devotion to myself, to my heart,and that shift helped me to
(08:18):
invite more of my feminineessence in.
So when we talk aboutembodiment, it's like what is
embodiment?
It's not just like some hipcircles that you do in the
morning in a women's gathering,it's you literally becoming when
you embody something you havebecome it.
You're not just at first see,the first layer of this is you
(08:40):
kind of try it on right, likethere's a part of you that
you're not sure if that's youLike.
When I first got my pole fiveplus years ago, I said I think
this is maybe fits me, I'm notsure, let me try it on.
I had a project in mind that Iwanted to execute on in 30 days.
So I gave myself a goal I'mgoing to do these three pole
(09:01):
moves in 30 days.
I'm going to be competentenough to look okay on video.
And so there's that of tryingit on, like, oh, let me see, is
there like an inner vixen inthis form?
How does that feel?
You're not trying to becomesomething that you're not.
You're curious about what partsof you you haven't met yet,
(09:21):
what parts of you you haven'taccessed yet.
And instead of just discardinglike, well, that's not me, cause
that's never been me and Idon't know, it feels weird.
Sometimes the things that wefeel the most resistance in or
the most cringe or ick areexactly the things that, deep
down, it's like that's the thing.
That's the thing.
So first it's just tryingsomething on trying it on.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
You see somebody pole dancing.
I, I should be getting paid forthis shit.
I get so many women into poledancing, I should be getting
paid by x pole.
They're like where'd you getyour pole?
Well, fyi, it's an exerciseright now, like there are.
There is a pole fitness placeclose to my house and they it's
like um, it's more of a workoutright now too.
It's very, it's very mainstream, like I love it.
I tried it a few times I didgive up, but I can go again.
(10:09):
I'm not going to lie to you, Iwas a little bit intimidated,
because it does say beginning itwas a beginner.
So I was so happy it's abeginner.
And then I go in and I'm likeyou are not a beginner, my
friend.
Speaker 3 (10:21):
No, no, no, no.
So I totally want to like eithera private or yeah take like,
give it a chance for you, theway that I like to teach poland.
I'm actually creating a poll,course, course right now.
That's releasing in april, fyi,but a bit of that because it's
more focused on the embodiment,on the like hey, where's your
inner, your inner dark goddess,your inner slut, your inner dark
(10:42):
goddess, your inner slut, yourinner seductress, your inner
Lilith, you know?
And, working with that energy,try it on, see what comes
through.
So there is again, like thatfirst layer of just trying
something and seeing what feelsawkward about this.
What part of me I'm like.
Oh, I don't know, I don't likeit.
(11:03):
Just, this is the shadow workpart of it, right, you look at
the aspects of you that areconfronting you that you don't
necessarily love, and thenthere's an element of, okay, I'm
going to keep showing up,there's something here for me.
So I'm going to keep showing upwith this part of me.
I'm going to.
I'm going to keep, let's say,in the mornings.
(11:27):
To give you an example how mymornings shifted from what you
read in the Sexy Mama Morningversus what it became six-ish
years ago.
It went from being more aboutthe emptiness and the meditation
and the stillness.
Not that that's not valuable.
That's still very powerful andimportant.
But remember, I wanted toinvoke more of this, like these
feminine aspects of me, and bemore full in my fullness.
(11:49):
So first thing, still to thisday, that I do in the mornings
is I get up and I dance.
It doesn't have to be crazy,I'm not doing pull tricks, I'm
not upside down.
That's later.
If I do that that day, you know, I'm not like hanging up the
stairs.
I just woke up five minutes agoand I'm like a sexy siren.
No, I have playlists that Ihave created over the years.
(12:10):
It's like what's the vibe rightnow?
And then I just dance for like15 minutes.
That's simple.
That's simple.
And then, and then, once youkind of unblock and awaken the
energy, you're a clearer channelto do something like meditate
or drop in with your spiritguides or receive the downloads,
(12:32):
the creative downloads, just tobe in that stillness.
You're in the movement and thenyou're in the stillness and
receiving open listening, soft,open listening, soft.
I like to also do a littlebrief yoga flow, while I'm kind
of transitioning from themovement into this communion
(12:52):
with spirit space, because ithelps my body to cool down and
to you know, it's not intense.
I mean we're talking eightminutes of yoga and then the
body's on, the mind is open,things are coming in, spirits,
like you know, communicating,and then to self-pleasure from
(13:13):
that place.
Yeah, I mean you're talking awhole other level, like you're
not just masturbating to takethe edge off, you are going deep
within yourself, like into thesoft tissues of your vagina.
There are messages there,there's a lot of wisdom there,
so, and a lot of healing.
And so that became my dailyflow.
(13:34):
And imagine doing that.
When COVID happened, I had alot more time to do that.
I would spend like two,sometimes three hours in my
office while the kids were doingall their Zoom classes, and I'm
like this is my, this is myritual space and I'm just going
to sit in the dark for an hourand listen.
So it's much more about justbeing present with what is when
(13:58):
you do this from kind of afeminine perspective.
But very practically, itdoesn't have to take two hours,
it can take 30 minutes, but themain thing is like movement and
then coming back into stillnessand listening and then dropping
into some form of a pleasurepractice.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
I have a question for you.
So for the listeners who arelike what the hell is she
talking about?
She said inner slut, innergoddess.
Why would I want to embody that?
And what is sexual healing?
I didn't have a trauma, so thisisn't for me.
Who needs this?
Speaker 3 (14:32):
Thank you.
Thank you, yes, and you knowyour audience way better than I
will know.
So these are exactly what weneed to do More foundational
things here.
So sexual healing is notlimited to those who have had
big T traumas.
Simply existing as a womantoday is inherently traumatic on
(14:53):
the body.
All these messages that we haveinternalized that it is unsafe
to just exist in a woman's body,that if you dress provocatively
and something happens to you,you were asking for it, that you
know you don't want to attractunwanted attention, that it's
unsafe to you know to wear thedress I want, because if I get
(15:14):
unwanted attention by a man atthe gas station, he might make
an advance.
I would reject him, his egowould get hurt, he might hurt me
.
You know these are the thingsthat we have seen, whether we
(15:35):
have the religious programmingor not.
Now, if you have the religiousbackground, that's a whole other
layer.
Also, that was me, pastor'sdaughter.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
You know Kara's like yeah, denise and I know we did
an episode on religious trauma.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
Oh girl, the whole.
We could do a whole episodejust on religious trauma around
the sexuality because there's adeep, deep, deep, deep wound
around that.
I didn't have a big-.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
Also growing up in a country where this whole thing
is a taboo.
Yes, yes.
It's a lot.
Yeah, yeah, I'm so glad we'retalking about this.
This is so amazing.
Speaker 3 (16:11):
Yeah, there's, there's, there's a lot to unpack
there, a lot, so you don't haveto have had sexual trauma.
The majority of women that Ihave ended up working with have
come from religious backgroundsand, unfortunately, within that
context, did experience sexualabuse.
But that's just another layer.
(16:31):
But the sexual healing is moreabout coming into wholeness with
ourselves, our sexual energy.
The thing that we were taughtwas bad, that, oh my God, you
can't masturbate.
You know Jesus is watching andyou're going to be punished and
you might go to If my soul is indanger of eternal damnation for
(16:52):
touching myself because itfeels good, there's something
wrong there.
But I carried that, and I knowa lot of women carry that, even
if they weren't deep in thestructure of the religion.
You kind of catch a splash ofit just by existing in the
societies that exist today, andso, yeah, this is really about
(17:14):
reclaiming your sexual energy,the holy, the erotic or one, and
that is something that mostwouldn't even fathom.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (17:23):
How.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
Reclaiming all parts of ourselves.
Basically.
Yes, you know, and justaccepting ourselves for who we
are and wanting more.
And I mean because I am in thebusiness of simplifying and I
Alice likes baby steps.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
I do, I love baby steps, because I am in the
business of simplifying I lovebaby steps.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
I love baby steps Because, let's be real, yes,
sometimes big steps lead to bigchanges.
However, small steps lead toconsistent changes that will
last forever.
I feel.
I really love the idea ofuncovering yourself, you know,
through self-pleasure orwhatever.
(18:06):
Maybe kind of give us a babystep of how someone who may have
a little bit of resistance toit maybe start or explore or
maybe even read a book orsomething kind of like what
would be the simple step, thefirst step to take on that
ladder.
Speaker 3 (18:27):
I mean, the very first step, I would say, is just
to create space, to take upmore space.
So if you had 10 or 15 minutesand I would even present this as
a challenge, you know, for,let's say, 30 days for those who
want to really try this on, andevery day, 10, 15 minutes, and
I would even present this as achallenge, you know, for, let's
say, 30 days for those who wantto really try this on, and every
day 10-15 minutes.
Even if you don't feel like, oh, this isn't really doing much,
I don't know what this is doing.
(18:47):
I could be being productive.
No, this is helping you open upthe channels to be productive
and and and introducing you toenergies that maybe you don't
usually get to feel in your day.
So, 10 or 15 minutes a day,listen to some music.
I have playlists, too that Ican share, if you want to check
those out that I have especiallyspecifically curated.
(19:09):
Yeah, for different vibes, likea dark kind of, like a taboo,
the taboo vibe, the rage, theintense, that vibe, the more
sensual soft vibe, and so justkind of playing with different
activations in music, becausemusic is activation and you
(19:30):
don't want to just turn onshuffle on Spotify and be random
about it, like we want to, youknow, use something that is
going to activate something andthat's one baby step, like just
literally that one thing.
Or if you want to start with abook and just kind of soften the
resistance in the mind bybringing a little more
intellectual understanding thereis, let's see, one of my
(19:52):
favorite books is especially forthose who come from no
religious backgrounds.
Especially is A Return to Erosby Mark Gaffney and Christina
Kincaid.
That book it just helped somuch click for me about bridging
the gap between what's sacredand holy and godly and all of
(20:14):
this and what's like erotic andsexual and supposed to be that.
So it's really purifying a lotof those distortions around that
language there's also I also dohave a self-pleasure course.
So if they're ready to actuallygo into practices and audios
and visualizations and teachingson that, I have that.
(20:38):
It's called come as you are.
But yeah, there's three waysright there to get started.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
I love it.
I've got a question that'sgoing off on another, just
another thing that came to me.
I'm curious, because you saidyou were dealing with autoimmune
issues Back then.
Were you being who you are now?
Were you embodying you, or doyou feel like there was a
disconnect and that's what ledto some of the health challenges
(21:08):
?
Oh, absolutely.
Speaker 3 (21:10):
I know that the massive disconnect between me
and my heart was and how thatplayed out in life is what led
to that manifestation in my bodyA lot of times, with autoimmune
think about this your body isattacking itself.
I don't like me.
I don't like who I am.
(21:31):
Fundamentally, I reject who Iam.
I have to fight it, I have toresist it.
I have to try to destroy it.
I have to fight it.
I have to resist it.
I have to try to destroy it.
And so what?
What got me over that thresholdof being in this hyperreactive
state in my immune system was acombination of things, like it
wasn't simply the physical,because the physical, the
(21:54):
homeopathic remedies and thebone broth and all the things,
the diet it didn't take me veryfar.
That was one piece that, yes,supported my body.
But also when I started doingthe deep emotional purging, when
I connected with my rage forthe first time, when I yeah,
(22:15):
when I went deeper into my grief, when I finally started to
process the things that I'vebeen, that I've been just deep
down for about 20 years, at thatpoint that opened the way I
didn't again.
I wasn't yet exploring thesexual healing like reconnecting
with this like infinite sourceof life.
Life, you know, force, energy.
(22:35):
But that's what?
That's what made it possiblefor me to explore that?
Because I was no longer afraidof my darkness.
I wasn't afraid of my rage, mygrief, my feelings of resentment
, my bitterness.
I'd met so many parts of me.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
Yeah, I think that's such a powerful reminder for
people too, and Denise and Italk about this, and me
especially, in my practice oflike it's not just the diet,
it's not just the supplements,and I wish people would let go
of that.
I'm not saying go out and justeat shit, but it's like it's
such a minor thing in the schemeof things, if you are not being
(23:11):
authentically you, if you don'teven know how to connect to
your body.
I have so many clients thatcome into me that are like I,
you know cause?
I'll ask them well, what doesyour intuition say about this?
Because I want their feedback.
I don't want to be the onethat's like do this, do this, do
this?
They're like I don't, I don'tknow what my intuition says, I
don't know how to listen anymore.
They're so disconnected.
(23:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (23:33):
And we also, um, I was having this conversation
with someone at my last retreat.
She said you know what they sayabout listening to your gut
feeling.
I was like, yeah, what about it?
I don't think it's reliablebecause if I go by my gut
feeling it just feels likeanxiety.
And I said, yeah, that's notyour intuition, that's your fear
(23:58):
.
And so how do you work with that?
You work with the body.
You don't just intellectualizeand think about the shadow work.
This is part of the becoming.
The embodiment is if I couldjourney through a visual heart
practice.
I don't know how to describethis without actually literally
(24:18):
walking you through it, but I dothese things where I guide
people on these hard journeysand there's no plant medicine
involved.
You know that will do it foryou all on its own.
I'm like literally walking youthrough it and we're talking you
through it, where you can feeldeeper into your body, move with
(24:39):
your body.
You know, maybe, maybe allow um, shaking or rattling loose of
energy that's there and it'slike that creates space for you
to be able to tap into yourintuition more.
So you define what your gutfeeling actually is.
So you define what your gutfeeling actually is.
(25:00):
It's not just your anxiety.
For me, my deep knowing, it'slike if I had to physically
place it in my body, it's rightat the entrance of my womb, like
right where my cervix meets mywomb, like right there.
That's my wisdom center.
We'll call it so.
When I know, when I'm checkingin with my body about something,
(25:20):
that's where I get the yes andthe no and I couldn't access
that 10 years ago I'd be likehow do I feel about this?
My stomach is a ball of anxietybecause it's just fear, fear,
fear, fear, fear.
So so much of this has to dowith working with your nervous
system too.
It's not just the diet and notjust those things.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
And then I love what you just said right now about.
You know, I couldn't accessthat 10 years ago.
How can you access it now is byconstantly showing up for
yourself and constantlypracticing and constantly doing
it.
So you know, kira and I alwaystalking about with anything in
any area in your life, and evenwith, like you know, with when
I'm working with my kiddos.
(26:00):
There isn't a magic wand, youknow like I work with parents
all the time, and they, most ofthem, are the parents I work
with.
They want to fix their children.
They are testing them up theass so they figure out what the
fuck is wrong with them.
There's nothing wrong with them, you know.
Sure, they have some issues,some things, some difficulties.
That we can help them, we cangive them strategies, et cetera.
But, um, I just feel that youknow, talk to us a little bit
(26:26):
about that.
Like you know, talk to us alittle bit about that.
Like you know, what would you,what were you doing when you,
when you had the moment of likefuck it, I want to give up, like
nothing is showing up orwhatever, because there will,
there will be a moment like thisright there, there is a divine
timing, and that it ain't yourtiming right, sometimes it's the
it is the divine timing thatyou got to trust.
However, that doesn't meanyou're going to sit there, do
nothing.
That's me continuously going toshow up.
So talk to us about this like,especially in moments of like, I
(26:49):
don't want to yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:52):
Well, one thing to remember is that not being in
the mood to do something is notthe same as not wanting to do it
, and so I might not be in themood to get up and move my body,
but it's like, but I want this.
I want this not just because aI know how different I feel
after I do it versus when Idon't do it.
That initially did motivate myass to get out of bed.
I would actually Denise, Iappreciate this, I used to have
(27:16):
to I would visualize just to getmyself out of bed because I
would just, you know, when Istarted doing these practices,
it was I would be done beforethe kids would wake up for
school.
So I had to get up really early.
Now, life is a little different,structures are different,
everything's different, but Iwas just.
I was very committed to myselfbecause I knew that if I had a
(27:38):
visual of two paths, one path isI do this thing, I show up as
this kind of mom, I'm this kindof partner and I feel like this
creatively.
And the other path is I couldsee myself snapping at my kids.
I could see myself feelingfrustrated, not being able to
come up with something to write.
I could, you know, just, Icould see the contrast and then
(27:59):
I would like I'm getting out ofbed, I'm doing this shit, you
know.
Also.
I understand and I know noteveryone has this, I guess, like
foundation to work frominitially, but I did understand
already how it works to worktowards something long term,
(28:21):
when I used to be a longdistance runner and I ran 100
miles a week.
I don't do that anymore.
A lot of those days are long,long, long, long, long long gone
.
But we're talking high school.
You know, high school I wasvery, I was very structured with
myself.
I had goals and I knew thatthere would be peaks and valleys
and plateaus.
So there was something in methat was like, hey, if we hit a
(28:43):
plateau, that's okay.
Hey, if we hit a plateau,that's okay, that's okay.
My invitation in this part ofmy journey was to see what is
that initiating me into.
If I'm at a plateau, if I feelkind of bored, like I'm doing
the same thing, okay Well, dothe same practices, but open
yourself to a different textureof energy.
(29:05):
Do the same practices, but workwith different music, you know,
do the same practices, butmaybe in a different, slightly
different order, you know, sokind of switching it up, because
I think, human beings, we needthat too, we need that
consistency and we need a littlebit of variety, otherwise it
gets flat.
But there's an infinite numberof different energies you can
(29:29):
tap into.
You just have started creative.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
I mean, but you said it.
You gotta want this to yourselfand you gotta be committed to
yourself right, and this ties inwith the piece of self-love
that we always talk about.
Love yourself enough to want toget out of your, get out of the
bed and do the things, therituals that you want to do, no
matter what your mood.
(29:51):
Yes, and I love how you, youknow, differentiate between not
being in the mood, but then notwanting or wanting or whatever.
So you have a question Kira.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
I feel, Can you tell by looking at my face?
I'm also curious because Ithink there's going to be a lot
of misconceptions aboutembodiment, which you touched on
.
But I'm wondering about theembodiment and the sexuality.
Are there misconceptions thatyou see out there of those
together?
Speaker 3 (30:20):
Yes, absolutely, and I think this is why,
specifically, sexual shadow workcan be so daunting for people
to start, because they're scaredof opening that kind of worms.
They're scared that, oh, if Istart to look at my fantasies
and my kinks and the things thatarouse me in my mind space,
(30:41):
then I'm going to be, I'm goingto have to do that in real life,
or I'm going to have to leavemy family, or I'm going to have
to go join a horror.
I mean, I was like no, youdon't, I hear him.
However, you say that At amoment.
Yeah, no, it's not that.
It's actually when we repressthose parts of ourselves or we
pretend that they don't exist,subconsciously they're driving.
(31:01):
They're driving our decisions,they're influencing more than we
like to give them credit.
They're leading todisconnection and lack of
arousal and lack of intimacywith the partner and lack of
vibrance in ourselves in general.
So and this is part of the workthat I do too Like, for example
, the dark goddess, the darkfeminine codes that I'm walking
(31:22):
people through now.
It's very much about that.
Let's look at the taboo, andthis means this has nothing to
do with this part of you takingover your life.
It's not If that part of you isone of infinite parts of you
that is on a bus and, let's say,your higher self is driving the
bus and you and your currentversion of you is the passenger.
Any part of you that comes upand has something to say or
(31:47):
needs to throw a tantrum andjust be seen because you've been
ignoring it for 40 years.
You know it.
Let it just listen to it.
Listen to her.
What does she need to feel safe?
What kind of space can you giveher to express herself?
Maybe you do get up in themorning and put on your
stilettos and dance like astripper for 20 minutes.
(32:07):
Maybe that's what you need toexpress that part of yourself.
Maybe you do get a pole, youknow?
Maybe you learn burlesque whoknows Infinite number of things?
But then you send her back toher seat in your regular
day-to-day life with herfavorite snack and her music and
the things that make her feelgood and safe and happy and
(32:28):
vibrant.
Speaker 1 (32:29):
Okay, it's like she's not driving the bus with her
munchies.
Speaker 3 (32:32):
Yeah, send her back with the I don't know a little
bit of mushrooms or something, Idon't know, I don't know
whatever, whatever.
But it's just the point isshe's not driving the, she's not
driving the bus of your life.
And by you doing that, there'sthat, that extra part, that part
of you that gives you an extraspark, that you're then like oh,
there's this mystery about her,there's something, there's some
(32:54):
like seductive and alsoreframing something like the
word seductive, because it's notabout manipulation at its core,
it's about, it's aboutmagnetism and playfulness, and I
don't know about you, but I'malways being seduced by the
universe.
Into the next step of my life.
It's like hey, look at this, doyou like what you see?
Do you want some of that?
(33:17):
Okay, so the sexual aspect ofthis it's obviously more than
what I can possibly address here, but what I really want to
emphasize is that the key is tobe willing to look at those
parts of ourselves and kind ofdance with it, play with it,
(33:38):
explore what's there.
It helps to have safe spaces towhere we can do this, whether
that's an event, um a consciouskink community, um a coach or a
mentor, a group of people, likeat my retreats, we we explore
this in depth as well, and it'sa safe place and that in and of
(33:59):
itself, is very healing.
So it's about dissolving theshame.
You know how, like bernie brownwould say um, when you speak it
, the shame shame loses itspower.
So even just that, just havinga conversation with someone
about these things, helps.
Speaker 2 (34:13):
Well, and I think what you're saying mostly goes
back to awareness.
We don't know these things.
So if you're looking at yourlife and you're like I'm lacking
over here, my sex life sucks,I'm embarrassed to wear that out
, All of those things.
It goes back to awareness.
So when you can develop that,then you can start making
(34:35):
changes.
But there's too many peoplejust not wanting to be aware, I
guess.
Speaker 3 (34:41):
Yeah, well, it's scary to have that awareness,
because with that comes theresponsibility.
And what are you going to dowith that now?
You can't unknow it, you can'tunknow it.
You can't unsee it, and there'ssomething also to be said about
living at your edge.
So there's all.
We all have an edge.
We all have a threshold.
There was a time where mythreshold, my edge, was being
(35:03):
naked at the beach, going to thenude beach or doing a nude
shoot a little artistic, youknow, shoot or or performing a
certain way on stage when I didmy music shows or talking about
certain things online.
So for me, I think also with asmuch Scorpio as I have my chart
too it's like we're going to gothere, we're going to go there
(35:24):
and we're going to see what's onthat edge, and then that
becomes a new normal, becauseyou become that, you embody that
, you welcome that into the fold, so it's no longer this taboo,
crazy thing.
Speaker 1 (35:36):
I love it because you're experimenting with
yourself and you are worth it.
You're worth it 1000%, and thatis what self-love is right and
that's what we talk about allthe time.
And I really love the busexample and that's a good
reminder.
You know that.
Let those kiddos in the back,you know, throw the tantrum, ask
them what they want.
What do you need?
We need a snack, we need this,and that's sometimes like I know
(35:58):
that I talk to a lot of theparts of myself, you know, and
I'm constantly, you know,talking to myself, so it's okay
to look within.
And I also want to mention thatyou know we want to heal all
parts of us.
This is this podcast called HealYourself Podcast.
So you just don't want to justbe healing your health and your
nervous system.
You do want to heal yoursexuality.
(36:19):
You do want to heal, you know,everything that comes up.
And I mean I'm lovingeverything that we talked about
today and I love the baby stepsas we are nearing the end.
Do you mind, kind of like, youknow, just maybe give us very
tangible, quick, two things thatsomeone can start with?
(36:43):
Or, you know, kind of like havethe curiosity of it to get
going with sexual healing yeah,with the sexual healing.
Speaker 3 (36:52):
Oh, I also do want to say real quick, because kira
did ask this, I didn't addressthis.
She said why would we want tobasically liberate our inner
slut?
Yeah, yeah.
So that specific question, why?
Because that is your connectionwith your life force.
Your sexual energy is your lifeforce.
You're consistently, constantly, always being nourished by that
.
This is where all my ideas comefrom, where my downloads or my
(37:12):
creations, my courses, the book,you know everything, everything
, everything.
It flows effortlessly from thatspace.
It's not like, oh, what am Igoing to make today, it's just
flows, flows in.
So when you are tapped intothat energy, you on a deeper
level, it's not about being aslut, as in sleeping with
everyone.
No, what was that insatiablepart of me that I was denying
(37:35):
that with my one partner I couldgo so deep, because that's my
vision.
I have one partner and with onepartner I can express all these
different things of me and it'slike, oh, and nobody else gets
to see that Nobody.
But also that's nourishment forme, because I'm these different
things of me and it's like, oh,and nobody else gets to see
that nobody.
But also that's nourishment forme, because I'm always talking
to that source and in a deeperlevel, I'm a slug for what the
universe has to give me.
You know, I'm like give it allto me.
(37:57):
I want more, more, more.
So there's that.
So the sexual healing aspect.
I think one very practical thingis just to even just
self-reflect and journal aboutwhat are the, what are the parts
of my sexual nature or mydesires, my fantasies that I'm,
that I am afraid to tell anybodyabout, or that, or maybe
(38:21):
sometimes they're so, so lockedaway that it's like I don't even
have any, that that was also mefor a very long time.
It's like, okay, well, whatdoes kind of get my gears
turning that makes me feel evena little bit of shame or a
little bit of ick, or I feellike that's not okay, and then
(38:44):
just kind of, and then just godeeper into that.
But it just begins with again,like kira was saying, the
awareness of what's there andbeing willing to excavate that
love it, love it.
Speaker 1 (38:55):
Yeah, you know, start journaling, start being aware,
start asking those questionsthat you haven't been wanting to
ask, right, and I, I alwaystell my daughter and I tell
myself that too, when you getoffended or when you hear
something that offends you orthat triggers, we like to use
the word activates here, nottrigger.
We learned that from Dr.
Wood I like that too, wheneveryou activated or something's
(39:18):
like oh my goodness, oh, theysaid that this is so insulting.
Look within, look, always lookwithin and self-reflect, because
it's something in there that'sactivating and it's making it
sound offensive.
So if we said anything abouthealing or sexuality or whatever
, you're like, oh hell, no, I'mnot going to do that, or no,
(39:42):
your girls are crazy.
Just start journaling about itand ask why?
Why are they?
Speaker 2 (39:50):
crazy.
Why am I not wanting to?
Speaker 3 (39:51):
hear it, yeah, and what is it about them that I
wish I had?
Like, if you see someone who issleeping with everybody and has
no shame about it, it's like,how does she get everything she
wants?
Like, who is she to think shecan have whatever she wants on
her terms?
And it's like, oh, that's metoo, I want that, but in a
different, different way.
Or who is she to think that youknow, she can dress like that
and and and, just you know, notworry about, oh, I want that too
(40:14):
.
I want that level of freenessof expression.
I want to be seen too yeah, weall do.
Speaker 1 (40:20):
We all do love it.
Anything else, miss kira orlucy, that you want to add
toward the end that maybe wedidn't talk about?
I think we talked about a lotof things.
Speaker 2 (40:32):
Yeah, I'm good.
Lucy if there's anything youintuitively feel like needs to
be said, have at it.
Otherwise it's been great.
Speaker 3 (40:42):
I mean, there's so much there already, I know that
people can really dissect whatwe shared already.
I think just one piece aboutright now the collective energy
too.
I don't know how much you alltalk about that really here in
the space, but it's very dark,feminine, rising vibes, and
(41:04):
there's a lot of opportunity forthat to be very distorted and
come out in a way of justdestroying for the sake of
destroying, vengeance,manipulation, and there is a way
to channel this energy in areally purposeful and
love-centered way.
(41:25):
That doesn't mean it lookspretty or that it's not messy,
but there is a way to to workdeeper with this energy.
So I am coming up with moreresources every day right now
for people who are ready to dothat.
Speaker 1 (41:38):
Awesome.
I also always add that always,always, always, give yourself
grace and give yourselfpermission to be there for
yourself and to make themistakes and to mess up and love
on yourself and be gracefulwith yourself, Just like you are
with a best friend who comes toyou who's in need.
You don't, you know, kick herwhile she's down.
(42:01):
You actually are there for her.
So I always we always kind oflike end with this, but, lucy,
tell us where can people findyou and what is something that
is on your website that they canstart exploring, whether it's
paid or free?
And I mean, I know you have alot of amazing programs and and
(42:21):
you still have I think you stillhave your books on Amazon.
I highly recommend them.
Speaker 2 (42:24):
If they are on.
Speaker 1 (42:25):
Amazon.
Buy them.
I have them actually, and Ilove the morning ones so much
that I bought extra and I sentthem to other people.
Tell us all the details.
Speaker 3 (42:39):
I love this.
Well, all the current offeringswill be at lucylampicom and
right now, the things that arereally front and center are the
Dark F codes that force, and, aswell as the retreat coming up
in may, I have one more retreatthis year in may here in Ecuador
, the Amazon.
And then, finally, I have abundle of eight different
(43:00):
courses from self pleasure, wildfeminine embodiment, sensual
movement, voice activation andthat is also on my website the
Erotic Liberation Bundle.
Speaker 2 (43:11):
Awesome.
Thank you so much for beinghere.
So many wonderful pearls, thankyou for having me.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, guys, you know the drillFind us on Instagram, leave us
some comments, let us know whatyou want to hear about, leave us
a review and we'll see you onthe next episode.
Welcome to the Heal Yourself Podcast, where we dive
deep into all things healing.
I'm Denise, a speech languagepathologist and a self-love
coach for adults and teens.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
And I'm Kira, a traditional naturopath and
functional nutritionist, andwe're here to guide you through
the transformative process ofhealing your body, mind and soul
From the latest in functionalmedicine, of healing your body,
mind and soul, from the latestin functional medicine to
nurturing your relationship withyourself, healing trauma and
even transforming your moneystory.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
we're here to empower you with the knowledge and
tools to create lasting change.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
So, whether you're looking to heal physically,
emotionally or spiritually, joinus as we explore the many paths
to wholeness and wellness.
Hello everyone, welcome back toanother episode of Heal
Yourself Podcast.
Today you have me and Denise,and we are joined by special
(01:02):
guest Lucy Lampe.
So I'm going to introduce her.
She is a mom of four, soon tobe five, trauma-informed sex and
relationship coach,award-winning singer and
songwriter, commercial actressand print model and three-time
author.
Her writing has been featuredon the Huffington Post, forbes,
entrepreneurcom, cbs and Fox.
(01:24):
After overcoming an autoimmunedisorder and embarking on a deep
healing journey and spiritualawakening during her former
husband's two-year disabilityand depression, lucy's work
shifted deeper into the realmsof erotic liberation and
spiritual reclamation.
I can't even say thatReclamation, reclamation,
whatever.
We're going with it, guys.
And now, after her journey ofconscious uncoupling from a
(01:53):
17-year marriage andunexpectedly experiencing new
love, she brings a new depth tothe message of open-hearted
living and relating to couples,women and men.
And that's a long one, but weneeded to say it because Lucy's
pretty epic.
Speaker 3 (02:05):
Oh, thank you, Thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
We've known you for a long, long, long time and I
mean I've known Lucy forprobably over 10 years or like
10, around 10 years, and I know,maybe with Kira it's, like you
know, maybe close to six, seven,but it's just so crazy.
I know we did somethingtogether so long ago.
Speaker 3 (02:26):
Oh, it was like a lifetime ago.
Lifetimes ago, that's what itfeels like.
Speaker 1 (02:30):
We're so excited to see you and to have you here.
Speaker 2 (02:33):
Yes.
Speaker 1 (02:34):
Well, yeah, tell us.
Speaker 2 (02:36):
We love to start with you telling our audience how
did you get to this place,because you have had a journey
and we have witnessed some of iton social media, but other
people aren't going to know.
So, like, what brings you tothe space?
Speaker 3 (02:51):
Well, let's see in a nutshell how much can I condense
this?
Basically, when, denise, whenyou and I met I remember it was
in the entrepreneur context,right I was hosting my first
event for mom entrepreneurs.
I was very much in mymompreneur brand era and which,
(03:12):
interestingly, it was called thesexy mama movement, right.
But there was a part of me thatI was like I don't feel sexy, I
kind of resist.
I used that word because Iresisted it.
I was like I need to reclaimthis right.
I used that word because Iresisted it and I was like I
need to reclaim this right.
But that really was beforegoing through deep sexual
(03:34):
healing and erotic liberationand all of this and really
reclaiming these more darktexture aspects of myself as
well.
But yeah, at that time I wasreally just focused on finding
peace and I just knew that Ididn't have it and I knew that
everything outside of medetermined how I felt and that
(03:58):
just wasn't sustainable and Iwas tired of it and I couldn't
live like that anymore.
So during that period of time,ryan was going through my
ex-husband was going throughthat period of depression and
disability and I was figuringout how to navigate the next
steps in my business as anentrepreneur, supporting a
family of six already at thattime, because our youngest was
(04:18):
just a newborn and I was goingthrough a lot of severe
autoimmune issues in my body.
So just everything all at once.
It was the rock bottom thatjust activated a new path for me
emotional intelligence,starting to kind of learn what
(04:49):
shadow work was maybe a year ortwo after that and exploring
more of the spiritual aspect ofof all of this too.
The somatic healing thatfollowed after that.
So the journey kind of startedas I feel suffocated by life and
I need some new tools and Istarted deconstructing my faith
because the church tools weren'tquite cutting it for me.
I'm like, how do I give it toGod?
Like how, how is this God'splan?
(05:10):
Like, what do I?
What the fuck do I do in themeantime?
And then it kind of one thingled to another.
Then it went more into therelationship, the well, the
personal sexual healing,self-pleasure practice, doing
more embodied, somaticexperiencing things like that,
going deeper into the body.
(05:30):
And now it's kind of just thisfull circle moment where we hit
all the things the nervoussystem, the karmic cycles, the
soul path, the erotic embodimentand how it expresses in
relationship, and that's kind ofwhere I've landed right now.
Speaker 1 (05:49):
Love it, love it, love it, love it.
Lucy, talk to us aboutembodiment.
We hear this word a lot and I'mnot going to deny that it can
be confusing to a lot of people,like you said like, like, how
the heck am I going to give itto god, right?
How is this the you know god'splan or whatever?
How the heck?
(06:09):
Because we hear it also be youfirst, gotta be you first gotta
embody your true self.
You gotta, but then one, yougotta remember who your freaking
true self is and what it camehere for who the hell am I right
?
Speaker 2 (06:22):
so I feel that there is.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
I want us to simplify it and that's how I.
You know I love everythingsimple.
That's why I remember I stillremember your little book, the
Sexy Mama Morning, and then whenwe did this challenge, this
little tiny book was amazingbecause it was so simple, and I
love how you simplify things.
And I even remember I couldn'teven get up before.
Like back when I did thechallenge with you, I couldn't
(06:46):
get up before 10 and 11.
And then I was waking up at 5 am, and now I have my routine of
waking up between 5 am and 6 am,and this is where it sparked it
, to be honest.
So talk to us embodiment.
Give us some tips, let'ssimplify.
Embodiment, though, to somebodywho is just I really want to do
it, but girl, I can't.
Speaker 3 (07:06):
Yeah, okay.
So I want to also preface thiswith, like that, actually that
morning practice that I sharedin that in that morning book.
Thank you for.
Thank you for referencing thatCause oh my God, that was.
I was very much aboutsimplifying, like how do we make
this practical?
That's my Capricorn part.
It's like how do we just makeit work?
Let's, let's just get getfunctional down to business.
(07:33):
That having a routine in placereally is what set me up for
this deeper stuff, because, interms of, let's say, people talk
about, you know the, themasculine and feminine energies
we all have them.
They get a little bit muddledonline, I think when we hear
about them in simplified terms,there's only a really small deep
.
You can go online, let's behonest.
But my masculine, innermasculine energy had been being
(07:56):
refined.
I had a routine.
My shift was thinking of it asa routine of self-discipline and
shifting that to.
These are my rituals.
These are my rituals, this ismy devotion to love, this is my
devotion to myself, to my heart,and that shift helped me to
(08:18):
invite more of my feminineessence in.
So when we talk aboutembodiment, it's like what is
embodiment?
It's not just like some hipcircles that you do in the
morning in a women's gathering,it's you literally becoming when
you embody something you havebecome it.
You're not just at first see,the first layer of this is you
(08:40):
kind of try it on right, likethere's a part of you that
you're not sure if that's youLike.
When I first got my pole fiveplus years ago, I said I think
this is maybe fits me, I'm notsure, let me try it on.
I had a project in mind that Iwanted to execute on in 30 days.
So I gave myself a goal I'mgoing to do these three pole
(09:01):
moves in 30 days.
I'm going to be competentenough to look okay on video.
And so there's that of tryingit on, like, oh, let me see, is
there like an inner vixen inthis form?
How does that feel?
You're not trying to becomesomething that you're not.
You're curious about what partsof you you haven't met yet,
(09:21):
what parts of you you haven'taccessed yet.
And instead of just discardinglike, well, that's not me, cause
that's never been me and Idon't know, it feels weird.
Sometimes the things that wefeel the most resistance in or
the most cringe or ick areexactly the things that, deep
down, it's like that's the thing.
That's the thing.
So first it's just tryingsomething on trying it on.
Speaker 1 (09:49):
You see somebody pole dancing.
I, I should be getting paid forthis shit.
I get so many women into poledancing, I should be getting
paid by x pole.
They're like where'd you getyour pole?
Well, fyi, it's an exerciseright now, like there are.
There is a pole fitness placeclose to my house and they it's
like um, it's more of a workoutright now too.
It's very, it's very mainstream, like I love it.
I tried it a few times I didgive up, but I can go again.
(10:09):
I'm not going to lie to you, Iwas a little bit intimidated,
because it does say beginning itwas a beginner.
So I was so happy it's abeginner.
And then I go in and I'm likeyou are not a beginner, my
friend.
Speaker 3 (10:21):
No, no, no, no.
So I totally want to like eithera private or yeah take like,
give it a chance for you, theway that I like to teach poland.
I'm actually creating a poll,course, course right now.
That's releasing in april, fyi,but a bit of that because it's
more focused on the embodiment,on the like hey, where's your
inner, your inner dark goddess,your inner slut, your inner dark
(10:42):
goddess, your inner slut, yourinner seductress, your inner
Lilith, you know?
And, working with that energy,try it on, see what comes
through.
So there is again, like thatfirst layer of just trying
something and seeing what feelsawkward about this.
What part of me I'm like.
Oh, I don't know, I don't likeit.
(11:03):
Just, this is the shadow workpart of it, right, you look at
the aspects of you that areconfronting you that you don't
necessarily love, and thenthere's an element of, okay, I'm
going to keep showing up,there's something here for me.
So I'm going to keep showing upwith this part of me.
I'm going to.
I'm going to keep, let's say,in the mornings.
(11:27):
To give you an example how mymornings shifted from what you
read in the Sexy Mama Morningversus what it became six-ish
years ago.
It went from being more aboutthe emptiness and the meditation
and the stillness.
Not that that's not valuable.
That's still very powerful andimportant.
But remember, I wanted toinvoke more of this, like these
feminine aspects of me, and bemore full in my fullness.
(11:49):
So first thing, still to thisday, that I do in the mornings
is I get up and I dance.
It doesn't have to be crazy,I'm not doing pull tricks, I'm
not upside down.
That's later.
If I do that that day, you know, I'm not like hanging up the
stairs.
I just woke up five minutes agoand I'm like a sexy siren.
No, I have playlists that Ihave created over the years.
(12:10):
It's like what's the vibe rightnow?
And then I just dance for like15 minutes.
That's simple.
That's simple.
And then, and then, once youkind of unblock and awaken the
energy, you're a clearer channelto do something like meditate
or drop in with your spiritguides or receive the downloads,
(12:32):
the creative downloads, just tobe in that stillness.
You're in the movement and thenyou're in the stillness and
receiving open listening, soft,open listening, soft.
I like to also do a littlebrief yoga flow, while I'm kind
of transitioning from themovement into this communion
(12:52):
with spirit space, because ithelps my body to cool down and
to you know, it's not intense.
I mean we're talking eightminutes of yoga and then the
body's on, the mind is open,things are coming in, spirits,
like you know, communicating,and then to self-pleasure from
(13:13):
that place.
Yeah, I mean you're talking awhole other level, like you're
not just masturbating to takethe edge off, you are going deep
within yourself, like into thesoft tissues of your vagina.
There are messages there,there's a lot of wisdom there,
so, and a lot of healing.
And so that became my dailyflow.
(13:34):
And imagine doing that.
When COVID happened, I had alot more time to do that.
I would spend like two,sometimes three hours in my
office while the kids were doingall their Zoom classes, and I'm
like this is my, this is myritual space and I'm just going
to sit in the dark for an hourand listen.
So it's much more about justbeing present with what is when
(13:58):
you do this from kind of afeminine perspective.
But very practically, itdoesn't have to take two hours,
it can take 30 minutes, but themain thing is like movement and
then coming back into stillnessand listening and then dropping
into some form of a pleasurepractice.
Speaker 2 (14:16):
I have a question for you.
So for the listeners who arelike what the hell is she
talking about?
She said inner slut, innergoddess.
Why would I want to embody that?
And what is sexual healing?
I didn't have a trauma, so thisisn't for me.
Who needs this?
Speaker 3 (14:32):
Thank you.
Thank you, yes, and you knowyour audience way better than I
will know.
So these are exactly what weneed to do More foundational
things here.
So sexual healing is notlimited to those who have had
big T traumas.
Simply existing as a womantoday is inherently traumatic on
(14:53):
the body.
All these messages that we haveinternalized that it is unsafe
to just exist in a woman's body,that if you dress provocatively
and something happens to you,you were asking for it, that you
know you don't want to attractunwanted attention, that it's
unsafe to you know to wear thedress I want, because if I get
(15:14):
unwanted attention by a man atthe gas station, he might make
an advance.
I would reject him, his egowould get hurt, he might hurt me
.
You know these are the thingsthat we have seen, whether we
(15:35):
have the religious programmingor not.
Now, if you have the religiousbackground, that's a whole other
layer.
Also, that was me, pastor'sdaughter.
Speaker 2 (15:44):
You know Kara's like yeah, denise and I know we did
an episode on religious trauma.
Speaker 3 (15:49):
Oh girl, the whole.
We could do a whole episodejust on religious trauma around
the sexuality because there's adeep, deep, deep, deep wound
around that.
I didn't have a big-.
Speaker 1 (15:59):
Also growing up in a country where this whole thing
is a taboo.
Yes, yes.
It's a lot.
Yeah, yeah, I'm so glad we'retalking about this.
This is so amazing.
Speaker 3 (16:11):
Yeah, there's, there's, there's a lot to unpack
there, a lot, so you don't haveto have had sexual trauma.
The majority of women that Ihave ended up working with have
come from religious backgroundsand, unfortunately, within that
context, did experience sexualabuse.
But that's just another layer.
(16:31):
But the sexual healing is moreabout coming into wholeness with
ourselves, our sexual energy.
The thing that we were taughtwas bad, that, oh my God, you
can't masturbate.
You know Jesus is watching andyou're going to be punished and
you might go to If my soul is indanger of eternal damnation for
(16:52):
touching myself because itfeels good, there's something
wrong there.
But I carried that, and I knowa lot of women carry that, even
if they weren't deep in thestructure of the religion.
You kind of catch a splash ofit just by existing in the
societies that exist today, andso, yeah, this is really about
(17:14):
reclaiming your sexual energy,the holy, the erotic or one, and
that is something that mostwouldn't even fathom.
Speaker 1 (17:23):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (17:23):
How.
Speaker 1 (17:24):
Reclaiming all parts of ourselves.
Basically.
Yes, you know, and justaccepting ourselves for who we
are and wanting more.
And I mean because I am in thebusiness of simplifying and I
Alice likes baby steps.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
I do, I love baby steps, because I am in the
business of simplifying I lovebaby steps.
Speaker 1 (17:45):
I love baby steps Because, let's be real, yes,
sometimes big steps lead to bigchanges.
However, small steps lead toconsistent changes that will
last forever.
I feel.
I really love the idea ofuncovering yourself, you know,
through self-pleasure orwhatever.
(18:06):
Maybe kind of give us a babystep of how someone who may have
a little bit of resistance toit maybe start or explore or
maybe even read a book orsomething kind of like what
would be the simple step, thefirst step to take on that
ladder.
Speaker 3 (18:27):
I mean, the very first step, I would say, is just
to create space, to take upmore space.
So if you had 10 or 15 minutesand I would even present this as
a challenge, you know, for,let's say, 30 days for those who
want to really try this on, andevery day, 10, 15 minutes, and
I would even present this as achallenge, you know, for, let's
say, 30 days for those who wantto really try this on, and every
day 10-15 minutes.
Even if you don't feel like, oh, this isn't really doing much,
I don't know what this is doing.
(18:47):
I could be being productive.
No, this is helping you open upthe channels to be productive
and and and introducing you toenergies that maybe you don't
usually get to feel in your day.
So, 10 or 15 minutes a day,listen to some music.
I have playlists, too that Ican share, if you want to check
those out that I have especiallyspecifically curated.
(19:09):
Yeah, for different vibes, likea dark kind of, like a taboo,
the taboo vibe, the rage, theintense, that vibe, the more
sensual soft vibe, and so justkind of playing with different
activations in music, becausemusic is activation and you
(19:30):
don't want to just turn onshuffle on Spotify and be random
about it, like we want to, youknow, use something that is
going to activate something andthat's one baby step, like just
literally that one thing.
Or if you want to start with abook and just kind of soften the
resistance in the mind bybringing a little more
intellectual understanding thereis, let's see, one of my
(19:52):
favorite books is especially forthose who come from no
religious backgrounds.
Especially is A Return to Erosby Mark Gaffney and Christina
Kincaid.
That book it just helped somuch click for me about bridging
the gap between what's sacredand holy and godly and all of
(20:14):
this and what's like erotic andsexual and supposed to be that.
So it's really purifying a lotof those distortions around that
language there's also I also dohave a self-pleasure course.
So if they're ready to actuallygo into practices and audios
and visualizations and teachingson that, I have that.
(20:38):
It's called come as you are.
But yeah, there's three waysright there to get started.
Speaker 2 (20:45):
I love it.
I've got a question that'sgoing off on another, just
another thing that came to me.
I'm curious, because you saidyou were dealing with autoimmune
issues Back then.
Were you being who you are now?
Were you embodying you, or doyou feel like there was a
disconnect and that's what ledto some of the health challenges
(21:08):
?
Oh, absolutely.
Speaker 3 (21:10):
I know that the massive disconnect between me
and my heart was and how thatplayed out in life is what led
to that manifestation in my bodyA lot of times, with autoimmune
think about this your body isattacking itself.
I don't like me.
I don't like who I am.
(21:31):
Fundamentally, I reject who Iam.
I have to fight it, I have toresist it.
I have to try to destroy it.
I have to fight it.
I have to resist it.
I have to try to destroy it.
And so what?
What got me over that thresholdof being in this hyperreactive
state in my immune system was acombination of things, like it
wasn't simply the physical,because the physical, the
(21:54):
homeopathic remedies and thebone broth and all the things,
the diet it didn't take me veryfar.
That was one piece that, yes,supported my body.
But also when I started doingthe deep emotional purging, when
I connected with my rage forthe first time, when I yeah,
(22:15):
when I went deeper into my grief, when I finally started to
process the things that I'vebeen, that I've been just deep
down for about 20 years, at thatpoint that opened the way I
didn't again.
I wasn't yet exploring thesexual healing like reconnecting
with this like infinite sourceof life.
Life, you know, force, energy.
(22:35):
But that's what?
That's what made it possiblefor me to explore that?
Because I was no longer afraidof my darkness.
I wasn't afraid of my rage, mygrief, my feelings of resentment
, my bitterness.
I'd met so many parts of me.
Speaker 2 (22:50):
Yeah, I think that's such a powerful reminder for
people too, and Denise and Italk about this, and me
especially, in my practice oflike it's not just the diet,
it's not just the supplements,and I wish people would let go
of that.
I'm not saying go out and justeat shit, but it's like it's
such a minor thing in the schemeof things, if you are not being
(23:11):
authentically you, if you don'teven know how to connect to
your body.
I have so many clients thatcome into me that are like I,
you know cause?
I'll ask them well, what doesyour intuition say about this?
Because I want their feedback.
I don't want to be the onethat's like do this, do this, do
this?
They're like I don't, I don'tknow what my intuition says, I
don't know how to listen anymore.
They're so disconnected.
(23:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (23:33):
And we also, um, I was having this conversation
with someone at my last retreat.
She said you know what they sayabout listening to your gut
feeling.
I was like, yeah, what about it?
I don't think it's reliablebecause if I go by my gut
feeling it just feels likeanxiety.
And I said, yeah, that's notyour intuition, that's your fear
(23:58):
.
And so how do you work with that?
You work with the body.
You don't just intellectualizeand think about the shadow work.
This is part of the becoming.
The embodiment is if I couldjourney through a visual heart
practice.
I don't know how to describethis without actually literally
(24:18):
walking you through it, but I dothese things where I guide
people on these hard journeysand there's no plant medicine
involved.
You know that will do it foryou all on its own.
I'm like literally walking youthrough it and we're talking you
through it, where you can feeldeeper into your body, move with
(24:39):
your body.
You know, maybe, maybe allow um, shaking or rattling loose of
energy that's there and it'slike that creates space for you
to be able to tap into yourintuition more.
So you define what your gutfeeling actually is.
So you define what your gutfeeling actually is.
(25:00):
It's not just your anxiety.
For me, my deep knowing, it'slike if I had to physically
place it in my body, it's rightat the entrance of my womb, like
right where my cervix meets mywomb, like right there.
That's my wisdom center.
We'll call it so.
When I know, when I'm checkingin with my body about something,
(25:20):
that's where I get the yes andthe no and I couldn't access
that 10 years ago I'd be likehow do I feel about this?
My stomach is a ball of anxietybecause it's just fear, fear,
fear, fear, fear.
So so much of this has to dowith working with your nervous
system too.
It's not just the diet and notjust those things.
Speaker 1 (25:40):
And then I love what you just said right now about.
You know, I couldn't accessthat 10 years ago.
How can you access it now is byconstantly showing up for
yourself and constantlypracticing and constantly doing
it.
So you know, kira and I alwaystalking about with anything in
any area in your life, and evenwith, like you know, with when
I'm working with my kiddos.
(26:00):
There isn't a magic wand, youknow like I work with parents
all the time, and they, most ofthem, are the parents I work
with.
They want to fix their children.
They are testing them up theass so they figure out what the
fuck is wrong with them.
There's nothing wrong with them, you know.
Sure, they have some issues,some things, some difficulties.
That we can help them, we cangive them strategies, et cetera.
But, um, I just feel that youknow, talk to us a little bit
(26:26):
about that.
Like you know, talk to us alittle bit about that.
Like you know, what would you,what were you doing when you,
when you had the moment of likefuck it, I want to give up, like
nothing is showing up orwhatever, because there will,
there will be a moment like thisright there, there is a divine
timing, and that it ain't yourtiming right, sometimes it's the
it is the divine timing thatyou got to trust.
However, that doesn't meanyou're going to sit there, do
nothing.
That's me continuously going toshow up.
So talk to us about this like,especially in moments of like, I
(26:49):
don't want to yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (26:52):
Well, one thing to remember is that not being in
the mood to do something is notthe same as not wanting to do it
, and so I might not be in themood to get up and move my body,
but it's like, but I want this.
I want this not just because aI know how different I feel
after I do it versus when Idon't do it.
That initially did motivate myass to get out of bed.
I would actually Denise, Iappreciate this, I used to have
(27:16):
to I would visualize just to getmyself out of bed because I
would just, you know, when Istarted doing these practices,
it was I would be done beforethe kids would wake up for
school.
So I had to get up really early.
Now, life is a little different,structures are different,
everything's different, but Iwas just.
I was very committed to myselfbecause I knew that if I had a
(27:38):
visual of two paths, one path isI do this thing, I show up as
this kind of mom, I'm this kindof partner and I feel like this
creatively.
And the other path is I couldsee myself snapping at my kids.
I could see myself feelingfrustrated, not being able to
come up with something to write.
I could, you know, just, Icould see the contrast and then
(27:59):
I would like I'm getting out ofbed, I'm doing this shit, you
know.
Also.
I understand and I know noteveryone has this, I guess, like
foundation to work frominitially, but I did understand
already how it works to worktowards something long term,
(28:21):
when I used to be a longdistance runner and I ran 100
miles a week.
I don't do that anymore.
A lot of those days are long,long, long, long, long long gone
.
But we're talking high school.
You know, high school I wasvery, I was very structured with
myself.
I had goals and I knew thatthere would be peaks and valleys
and plateaus.
So there was something in methat was like, hey, if we hit a
(28:43):
plateau, that's okay.
Hey, if we hit a plateau,that's okay, that's okay.
My invitation in this part ofmy journey was to see what is
that initiating me into.
If I'm at a plateau, if I feelkind of bored, like I'm doing
the same thing, okay Well, dothe same practices, but open
yourself to a different textureof energy.
(29:05):
Do the same practices, but workwith different music, you know,
do the same practices, butmaybe in a different, slightly
different order, you know, sokind of switching it up, because
I think, human beings, we needthat too, we need that
consistency and we need a littlebit of variety, otherwise it
gets flat.
But there's an infinite numberof different energies you can
(29:29):
tap into.
You just have started creative.
Speaker 1 (29:30):
I mean, but you said it.
You gotta want this to yourselfand you gotta be committed to
yourself right, and this ties inwith the piece of self-love
that we always talk about.
Love yourself enough to want toget out of your, get out of the
bed and do the things, therituals that you want to do, no
matter what your mood.
(29:51):
Yes, and I love how you, youknow, differentiate between not
being in the mood, but then notwanting or wanting or whatever.
So you have a question Kira.
Speaker 2 (30:00):
I feel, Can you tell by looking at my face?
I'm also curious because Ithink there's going to be a lot
of misconceptions aboutembodiment, which you touched on
.
But I'm wondering about theembodiment and the sexuality.
Are there misconceptions thatyou see out there of those
together?
Speaker 3 (30:20):
Yes, absolutely, and I think this is why,
specifically, sexual shadow workcan be so daunting for people
to start, because they're scaredof opening that kind of worms.
They're scared that, oh, if Istart to look at my fantasies
and my kinks and the things thatarouse me in my mind space,
(30:41):
then I'm going to be, I'm goingto have to do that in real life,
or I'm going to have to leavemy family, or I'm going to have
to go join a horror.
I mean, I was like no, youdon't, I hear him.
However, you say that At amoment.
Yeah, no, it's not that.
It's actually when we repressthose parts of ourselves or we
pretend that they don't exist,subconsciously they're driving.
(31:01):
They're driving our decisions,they're influencing more than we
like to give them credit.
They're leading todisconnection and lack of
arousal and lack of intimacywith the partner and lack of
vibrance in ourselves in general.
So and this is part of the workthat I do too Like, for example
, the dark goddess, the darkfeminine codes that I'm walking
(31:22):
people through now.
It's very much about that.
Let's look at the taboo, andthis means this has nothing to
do with this part of you takingover your life.
It's not If that part of you isone of infinite parts of you
that is on a bus and, let's say,your higher self is driving the
bus and you and your currentversion of you is the passenger.
Any part of you that comes upand has something to say or
(31:47):
needs to throw a tantrum andjust be seen because you've been
ignoring it for 40 years.
You know it.
Let it just listen to it.
Listen to her.
What does she need to feel safe?
What kind of space can you giveher to express herself?
Maybe you do get up in themorning and put on your
stilettos and dance like astripper for 20 minutes.
(32:07):
Maybe that's what you need toexpress that part of yourself.
Maybe you do get a pole, youknow?
Maybe you learn burlesque whoknows Infinite number of things?
But then you send her back toher seat in your regular
day-to-day life with herfavorite snack and her music and
the things that make her feelgood and safe and happy and
(32:28):
vibrant.
Speaker 1 (32:29):
Okay, it's like she's not driving the bus with her
munchies.
Speaker 3 (32:32):
Yeah, send her back with the I don't know a little
bit of mushrooms or something, Idon't know, I don't know
whatever, whatever.
But it's just the point isshe's not driving the, she's not
driving the bus of your life.
And by you doing that, there'sthat, that extra part, that part
of you that gives you an extraspark, that you're then like oh,
there's this mystery about her,there's something, there's some
(32:54):
like seductive and alsoreframing something like the
word seductive, because it's notabout manipulation at its core,
it's about, it's aboutmagnetism and playfulness, and I
don't know about you, but I'malways being seduced by the
universe.
Into the next step of my life.
It's like hey, look at this, doyou like what you see?
Do you want some of that?
(33:17):
Okay, so the sexual aspect ofthis it's obviously more than
what I can possibly address here, but what I really want to
emphasize is that the key is tobe willing to look at those
parts of ourselves and kind ofdance with it, play with it,
(33:38):
explore what's there.
It helps to have safe spaces towhere we can do this, whether
that's an event, um a consciouskink community, um a coach or a
mentor, a group of people, likeat my retreats, we we explore
this in depth as well, and it'sa safe place and that in and of
(33:59):
itself, is very healing.
So it's about dissolving theshame.
You know how, like bernie brownwould say um, when you speak it
, the shame shame loses itspower.
So even just that, just havinga conversation with someone
about these things, helps.
Speaker 2 (34:13):
Well, and I think what you're saying mostly goes
back to awareness.
We don't know these things.
So if you're looking at yourlife and you're like I'm lacking
over here, my sex life sucks,I'm embarrassed to wear that out
, All of those things.
It goes back to awareness.
So when you can develop that,then you can start making
(34:35):
changes.
But there's too many peoplejust not wanting to be aware, I
guess.
Speaker 3 (34:41):
Yeah, well, it's scary to have that awareness,
because with that comes theresponsibility.
And what are you going to dowith that now?
You can't unknow it, you can'tunknow it.
You can't unsee it, and there'ssomething also to be said about
living at your edge.
So there's all.
We all have an edge.
We all have a threshold.
There was a time where mythreshold, my edge, was being
(35:03):
naked at the beach, going to thenude beach or doing a nude
shoot a little artistic, youknow, shoot or or performing a
certain way on stage when I didmy music shows or talking about
certain things online.
So for me, I think also with asmuch Scorpio as I have my chart
too it's like we're going to gothere, we're going to go there
(35:24):
and we're going to see what's onthat edge, and then that
becomes a new normal, becauseyou become that, you embody that
, you welcome that into the fold, so it's no longer this taboo,
crazy thing.
Speaker 1 (35:36):
I love it because you're experimenting with
yourself and you are worth it.
You're worth it 1000%, and thatis what self-love is right and
that's what we talk about allthe time.
And I really love the busexample and that's a good
reminder.
You know that.
Let those kiddos in the back,you know, throw the tantrum, ask
them what they want.
What do you need?
We need a snack, we need this,and that's sometimes like I know
(35:58):
that I talk to a lot of theparts of myself, you know, and
I'm constantly, you know,talking to myself, so it's okay
to look within.
And I also want to mention thatyou know we want to heal all
parts of us.
This is this podcast called HealYourself Podcast.
So you just don't want to justbe healing your health and your
nervous system.
You do want to heal yoursexuality.
(36:19):
You do want to heal, you know,everything that comes up.
And I mean I'm lovingeverything that we talked about
today and I love the baby stepsas we are nearing the end.
Do you mind, kind of like, youknow, just maybe give us very
tangible, quick, two things thatsomeone can start with?
(36:43):
Or, you know, kind of like havethe curiosity of it to get
going with sexual healing yeah,with the sexual healing.
Speaker 3 (36:52):
Oh, I also do want to say real quick, because kira
did ask this, I didn't addressthis.
She said why would we want tobasically liberate our inner
slut?
Yeah, yeah.
So that specific question, why?
Because that is your connectionwith your life force.
Your sexual energy is your lifeforce.
You're consistently, constantly, always being nourished by that
.
This is where all my ideas comefrom, where my downloads or my
(37:12):
creations, my courses, the book,you know everything, everything
, everything.
It flows effortlessly from thatspace.
It's not like, oh, what am Igoing to make today, it's just
flows, flows in.
So when you are tapped intothat energy, you on a deeper
level, it's not about being aslut, as in sleeping with
everyone.
No, what was that insatiablepart of me that I was denying
(37:35):
that with my one partner I couldgo so deep, because that's my
vision.
I have one partner and with onepartner I can express all these
different things of me and it'slike, oh, and nobody else gets
to see that Nobody.
But also that's nourishment forme, because I'm these different
things of me and it's like, oh,and nobody else gets to see
that nobody.
But also that's nourishment forme, because I'm always talking
to that source and in a deeperlevel, I'm a slug for what the
universe has to give me.
You know, I'm like give it allto me.
(37:57):
I want more, more, more.
So there's that.
So the sexual healing aspect.
I think one very practical thingis just to even just
self-reflect and journal aboutwhat are the, what are the parts
of my sexual nature or mydesires, my fantasies that I'm,
that I am afraid to tell anybodyabout, or that, or maybe
(38:21):
sometimes they're so, so lockedaway that it's like I don't even
have any, that that was also mefor a very long time.
It's like, okay, well, whatdoes kind of get my gears
turning that makes me feel evena little bit of shame or a
little bit of ick, or I feellike that's not okay, and then
(38:44):
just kind of, and then just godeeper into that.
But it just begins with again,like kira was saying, the
awareness of what's there andbeing willing to excavate that
love it, love it.
Speaker 1 (38:55):
Yeah, you know, start journaling, start being aware,
start asking those questionsthat you haven't been wanting to
ask, right, and I, I alwaystell my daughter and I tell
myself that too, when you getoffended or when you hear
something that offends you orthat triggers, we like to use
the word activates here, nottrigger.
We learned that from Dr.
Wood I like that too, wheneveryou activated or something's
(39:18):
like oh my goodness, oh, theysaid that this is so insulting.
Look within, look, always lookwithin and self-reflect, because
it's something in there that'sactivating and it's making it
sound offensive.
So if we said anything abouthealing or sexuality or whatever
, you're like, oh hell, no, I'mnot going to do that, or no,
(39:42):
your girls are crazy.
Just start journaling about itand ask why?
Why are they?
Speaker 2 (39:50):
crazy.
Why am I not wanting to?
Speaker 3 (39:51):
hear it, yeah, and what is it about them that I
wish I had?
Like, if you see someone who issleeping with everybody and has
no shame about it, it's like,how does she get everything she
wants?
Like, who is she to think shecan have whatever she wants on
her terms?
And it's like, oh, that's metoo, I want that, but in a
different, different way.
Or who is she to think that youknow, she can dress like that
and and and, just you know, notworry about, oh, I want that too
(40:14):
.
I want that level of freenessof expression.
I want to be seen too yeah, weall do.
Speaker 1 (40:20):
We all do love it.
Anything else, miss kira orlucy, that you want to add
toward the end that maybe wedidn't talk about?
I think we talked about a lotof things.
Speaker 2 (40:32):
Yeah, I'm good.
Lucy if there's anything youintuitively feel like needs to
be said, have at it.
Otherwise it's been great.
Speaker 3 (40:42):
I mean, there's so much there already, I know that
people can really dissect whatwe shared already.
I think just one piece aboutright now the collective energy
too.
I don't know how much you alltalk about that really here in
the space, but it's very dark,feminine, rising vibes, and
(41:04):
there's a lot of opportunity forthat to be very distorted and
come out in a way of justdestroying for the sake of
destroying, vengeance,manipulation, and there is a way
to channel this energy in areally purposeful and
love-centered way.
(41:25):
That doesn't mean it lookspretty or that it's not messy,
but there is a way to to workdeeper with this energy.
So I am coming up with moreresources every day right now
for people who are ready to dothat.
Speaker 1 (41:38):
Awesome.
I also always add that always,always, always, give yourself
grace and give yourselfpermission to be there for
yourself and to make themistakes and to mess up and love
on yourself and be gracefulwith yourself, Just like you are
with a best friend who comes toyou who's in need.
You don't, you know, kick herwhile she's down.
(42:01):
You actually are there for her.
So I always we always kind oflike end with this, but, lucy,
tell us where can people findyou and what is something that
is on your website that they canstart exploring, whether it's
paid or free?
And I mean, I know you have alot of amazing programs and and
(42:21):
you still have I think you stillhave your books on Amazon.
I highly recommend them.
Speaker 2 (42:24):
If they are on.
Speaker 1 (42:25):
Amazon.
Buy them.
I have them actually, and Ilove the morning ones so much
that I bought extra and I sentthem to other people.
Tell us all the details.
Speaker 3 (42:39):
I love this.
Well, all the current offeringswill be at lucylampicom and
right now, the things that arereally front and center are the
Dark F codes that force, and, aswell as the retreat coming up
in may, I have one more retreatthis year in may here in Ecuador
, the Amazon.
And then, finally, I have abundle of eight different
(43:00):
courses from self pleasure, wildfeminine embodiment, sensual
movement, voice activation andthat is also on my website the
Erotic Liberation Bundle.
Speaker 2 (43:11):
Awesome.
Thank you so much for beinghere.
So many wonderful pearls, thankyou for having me.
Yeah, yeah.
Well, guys, you know the drillFind us on Instagram, leave us
some comments, let us know whatyou want to hear about, leave us
a review and we'll see you onthe next episode.
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