May 8, 2025 • 28 mins
In this episode, we explore what it means to create a life of freedom, alignment, and impact outside of traditional norms. Guest Cary Ouellette shares her journey from burnout to intentional living and how choosing authenticity led to deeper fulfillment. We dive into the realities of living and working abroad, building a business that supports your ideal lifestyle, and the importance of nervous system regulation in entrepreneurship. This conversation also touches on the difference between safety and expansion, how to hold duality in business and life, and the power of spiritual practice in navigating growth.
About Cary:
Cary Ouellette helps women overcome anxiety and emotional blocks by addressing the subconscious root causes of their struggles. Through a unique framework of releasing limiting beliefs, rewiring thought patterns, and building confidence, she empowers them to create inner peace, manifest their desires, and step into their authentic self.
Find Cary:
https://www.facebook.com/ocaryo https://www.instagram.com/cary_ouellette_/ https://member.caryouellette.com/communities/groups/master-your-mind-community/home?invite=6776e1a2f3e6d0221ae30c7c
https://releaseandempower.com/
Follow us on Instagram, leave a review, and share your experiences – we'd love to hear what resonates with you!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to the Heal Yourself Podcast, where we dive
deep into all things healing.
I'm Denise, a speech-languagepathologist and a self-love
coach for adults and teens.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
And I'm Kira, a traditional naturopath and
functional nutritionist, and weare here to guide you through
the transformative process ofhealing your body, mind and soul
.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
From the latest in functional medicine to nurturing
your relationship with yourself, healing trauma and even
transforming your money story.
We're here to empower you withthe knowledge and tools to
create lasting change.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
So, whether you're looking to heal physically,
emotionally or spiritually, joinus as we explore the many paths
to wholeness and wellness.
Hello everyone, and welcomeback to another episode of Heal
Yourself Podcast.
Today, I am joined by a specialguest.
(01:00):
I'm sorry, guys, denise is nothere, but I am joined by Carrie
Valette, and I may havebutchered that again.
She just told me how to say it.
Special guest.
I'm sorry, guys, denise is nothere, but I am joined by Carrie
Valette, and I may havebutchered that again.
She just told me how to say it.
Okay, good, good.
So she helps women overcomeanxiety and emotional blocks by
addressing the subconscious rootcauses of their struggles.
Through a unique framework ofreleasing limiting beliefs,
(01:22):
rewiring thought patterns andbuilding confidence, she
empowers women to create innerpeace, manifest their desires
and step into their authenticself, which is all like music to
my ears.
So, keri, welcome to thepodcast.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
Thank you very much.
Super happy to be here today.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
So tell us.
I'm always curious how did youget into this space?
Speaker 3 (01:47):
It was a little bit of a journey for myself.
I experienced anxiety as well,and it really came to a head for
me when I had my third childand I was in a not a healthy
relationship and I hadpostpartum, and so it was like
this whole snowball of eventsjust happening.
(02:08):
And that's really when Istarted my journey on how to
heal myself.
I wasn't into, you know, justtaking a pill to make myself
happy.
Well, I had tried that and itdidn't work, frankly, and I knew
that there was something else.
I knew it had something to dowith me.
So I just, on this journey,just started healing myself and
(02:35):
it's been maybe 15 years now andI just love where I am right
now and I learned a bunch oftools and tricks on the way and
now I just really love helpingother women deal with their
anxiety in a quicker way than Idid.
Yeah, it doesn't have to bethat long.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Well, and anxiety is such a tricky one too, because,
yeah, I mean, there's such amental piece Like you can very
easily send yourself into aspiral.
Yeah, yeah.
What did the healing journeylook like for you?
And I know that's probably aloaded question.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
Yeah, well, I I first started taking care of myself,
you know, eating wise and makingsure anything I was consuming
was healthier, and then I gavemyself some time to sit quietly,
which in the beginning, when Ihad little kids, that was very,
very difficult and I had a lotof guilt associated with taking
(03:34):
time out for myself.
So I grew into putting myselffirst, which you know I still
have ebb and flows of that butputting myself first, doing the
journaling, you know, findingdifferent ways to calm myself
down, and that took many, manyyears.
(03:59):
But I would say in the lastcouple years I had a huge shift.
I'd say in the last couple ofyears I had a huge shift and I
found this other modality withthe subconscious work, and that
was really what has triggered meto do this as a business and to
support other women and myself.
I've been doing it on myselffor a few years as well as well,
(04:30):
and it's just a wonderfulsimple practice that anybody can
do and it just clears my mindand it takes away that heavy
load, that anxiety can have ahold on you.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
I'm curious too you in your bio and we spoke to, but
you help women with emotionalblocks, limiting beliefs.
How did those tie into anxiety?
Speaker 3 (04:51):
Because I know there's a connection we are
creating our subconscious andwe're creating belief systems
about ourselves and the world orjust anything.
And if we have these negativebelief systems in our head based
(05:15):
on situations that has happenedin our lives, for example,
let's just say, for an example,that you do a play when you're
in school, five years old orsomething, and you get up on
stage and you feel great andthen somebody laughs at you or
picks on you for that and inyour mind you think, well, I
(05:36):
cannot use my voice, I cannotshow up.
You know all of these limitingbeliefs that stick into your
subconscious at that time.
They stick with you and as yougo on with your life, this
subconscious belief system of,let's say, feeling small or not
(06:00):
using your voice can happen overand over throughout your life.
Using your voice can happenover and over throughout your
life.
And as a child, you createthese belief systems to protect
yourself.
And as an adult, it does notprotect you to stay small or not
use your voice.
That does not protect you.
So we have to get rid of thosesubconscious belief systems.
(06:25):
Now, if you have this beliefsystem of I can't use my voice
and this runs in your head allthe time, it's going to cause
you to feel anxious, and I feellike a lot of people can relate
to that one.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
Ah, probably everyone listening.
You know people can relate tothat one.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
Probably everyone listening, you know Right.
So whatever we come up with forprotection and our belief
systems, and if they're negative, can cause us anxiety, which is
a thought and a feeling.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
So this one's kind of a funny question, but Denise
and I have been on our healingjourney now for a while and
subconscious and all of that hasbeen very impactful on us, just
looking back at our lives likegosh.
Where did I learn that?
Do you feel like it's importantfor people, just in general, to
(07:21):
take time to reflect on all oftheir current belief systems,
whether they serve them wherethose beliefs came from?
Absolutely.
Speaker 3 (07:29):
Absolutely, because they prevent you from moving
forward in your life.
Now, journaling is a wonderfultool to use, and meditation as
well, to kind of unravel wherethese patterns or belief systems
come from.
(07:49):
It's not always needed to knowexactly where they come from,
right, but it's great to see thepattern, and I always like to
tell people just to step backand look at your life and
observe it from a differentperspective, like it's not you,
(08:13):
and when you can pull yourselfaway a little bit, it helps you
detach emotionally and then tosay, well, yeah, I had those six
bad relationships.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
I had those six bad relationships.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
There's a pattern In that relationship.
Those could also be workrelationships.
It doesn't always have to bethe same kind of thing, but the
theme is the same, like whereare the themes in your life that
keep repeating in a negativeway?
Yeah, oh yes.
(08:50):
Identifying what they are ismost important and where they
come from is very helpful.
So you can release it, becausea lot of times we will hold
emotions associated with thesebelief systems.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Yeah, I think that's such powerful work.
Like.
This is the realm of healingthat Denise and I love getting
into.
Like, yes, the physical healing, but when you're holding on to
all of those beliefs, yeah, itcan lead to anxiety, but it can
lead to physical manifestationsof disease because you're just
storing that.
I will chime in here withsomething because we all have
(09:25):
these beliefs, guys.
Every single one of us willstart to recognize patterns of
like why is this happening?
And instead of going intovictim mentality of oh my gosh,
this always happens to me.
It's.
Why is this happening?
But I will say, not being ananxious person, the one thing
(09:45):
that brings me anxiety is tryingto figure out where these
things came from, because Ican't pinpoint.
I can see the patterns, but Ican't remember where a lot of
these came from, and so I likethat you said it's not always
important, because we can driveourselves insane with oh my gosh
, where did that one belief comefrom?
I can't track it.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
Exactly, exactly, and so what the most important
thing is is to think about thosepatterns that you have and what
emotions come up when you'rethinking about it.
How did it make you feel?
Because the feeling is probablythe same each time, and that's
the, that's what you need torelease is that emotion that is
(10:25):
gone?
You're like, okay, I feel freer, I feel lighter, and then
you'll see that that patternwon't happen again.
And I'll just say that you alsohave to take some conscious
action.
You can a bad relationship andyou want to end it, and you have
(10:50):
to not contact the person likethat would be a conscious action
, so you do the emotional pieceright.
But then you also have to say,like I'm not going to call this
person, I'm not going to textthem, Like I'm going to not do
that.
So there has to be a balance.
But 80% of it all is mindsetand doing that subconscious work
.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
So I'm curious how do you help people figure out some
of those blocks?
Speaker 3 (11:17):
It's really easy because people just love to talk
about their stuff.
When somebody's in a safe spaceand I really feel like I create
a nice safe space and when youhave friends or family members
or therapists or whomever whereyou can feel really safe, you'll
(11:42):
just start speaking about thesituations in your life and as
somebody else who can just seewhat you're saying, it's so easy
to find the pattern because itjust comes up.
It just comes up and when wereally listen to somebody speak,
(12:08):
we can hear their core messagesand their core problems almost
all the time Because it's in oursubconscious.
We just say it, even if we'retalking about money, because
money can, you can have a lot oftrauma.
If you'll constantly say, well,I can't go out because I don't
have the money, or I don't havethe money to pay my bills, or
(12:29):
this person is evil because theyhave the money, I'm jealous of
this person.
Like, if we really just open upour ears and listen to each
other, we can help peopleidentify their traumas and their
negative belief systems.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
Yeah, even if they can't see them on themselves.
Speaker 3 (12:48):
Yeah, it is.
It is harder to see it inyourself or it does take some
work because we're so used to it.
It's just our way of speakingand our way of listening.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
But one of the things I love to tell people is, if
you want to do theself-discovery piece, just
really pay attention to whattriggers you.
What's making you upset?
That's it.
What's making you upset?
It's usually not that thing.
There's a reason behind it andthere's an emotion behind it,
yeah, so look at.
You can look at your triggersas what a beautiful gift this is
(13:24):
that someone's making me upsetor I'm becoming upset by this
person's words or actions.
That's a sign that you can diginto.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
Denise and I talk I feel like we talked about that
on an episode.
If not, I don't know it'scoming but we talk about
triggers being lessons, and itdoesn't mean that they're fun to
go through, but every time youget triggered, it's a great
opportunity to ask yourself whyis this upsetting me?
What about the situation isbringing up this emotion?
(13:56):
Yeah, because yeah.
Otherwise it's like oh, I'mupset with this person, I'm
annoyed with this, I'm pissedoff with that.
Okay, but what good is thatdoing for you?
Absolutely.
Speaker 3 (14:07):
And I also like to say just ask your ask the why
question.
So if you have somebody whoyou're living with that isn't
doing the dishes, and you'regetting frustrated and you have
to dig deeper, why is thatfrustrating me?
Well, they're leaving the workfor me.
Well, why does that frustrateyou?
Well, I feel like I have to doit all myself, and every time
(14:31):
you ask yourself why you can diga little bit deeper because
there's a core problem in thatsituation.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Yeah, so it sounds almost like there's steps.
First, is even recognizingthese patterns or the triggers
right, because a lot of timespeople just brush off the
triggers Again.
They just I'm annoyed, whateverit is, what it is, but when you
can keep digging into but why,but why, but why?
I feel like you mentioned rootcauses.
That is how you get to the rootcauses.
(15:01):
You keep asking why is thishappening?
Or why am I feeling this?
Speaker 3 (15:07):
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
Yep, yeah, it's funny .
It's like medicine, like I workin the space of functional
medicine and I'm like the rootcause is not just a deficiency
in magnesium or gut floraimbalance.
What is driving that?
Why are you deficient inmagnesium?
Are you just not eating thosefoods?
Are you not absorbing?
So it's the same thing.
You have to keep asking whyuntil there's nothing left to
(15:30):
ask Exactly.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
Exactly, that's like.
I think somebody teaches that,like asking the seven whys to
get to the root cause and it andit can apply to so many
different areas in your life.
A hundred percent, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
Um, so, once someone has created the awareness,
worked through the triggers orat least evaluated them, and
even started recognizing thesepatterns, right, I have money
issues.
I didn't realize that.
I have worthiness issues, or Ialways pick the wrong guy.
What are some tools orstrategies?
(16:08):
I know you mentioned journaling, but is there anything else you
suggest to people?
Speaker 3 (16:13):
Yeah, journaling is amazing because it will help
spark conversations withinyourself.
I also love to do meditation,and just because it brings your
body into a calming state andbrings you to the now.
We spend a lot of time lookingforward, looking backward, but
(16:36):
really all we have is the nowand meditation helps us be
present in the now.
So meditation is great.
Visualization is super powerful.
It is super powerful.
We could probably talk forhours about visualization, about
(17:02):
visualization.
But you can either have somebodyguide you through a
visualization or you can createa visualization of even going
back into your past and doingsome healing work with your
inner child.
You can visualize your goalsand what you want to manifest
and so much that you can do withvisualization.
So those are my top tools forhelping with anxiety and
(17:26):
uncovering your root causes andalso supporting your healing.
And, that being said, you dohave to take time for yourself,
especially as women, and there'sso much guilt around taking
time for ourselves and it's sucha silly thing.
(17:48):
I've been teaching some peoplehow to support themselves for
manifesting and all you reallyneed to do is take 30 minutes in
a day, and I hear this so oftenis I don't have 30 minutes.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
Oh yeah, I heard all the time I hear I don't have 20
minutes to sit and do ameditation or a hypnosis or yeah
, right, right.
Speaker 3 (18:11):
And if we look at how many hours we have in a day, we
have 30 minutes.
I often ask people to look atyour phone.
How much time have you beenspending on your phone Just
scrolling a lot?
And I I'm guilty of that too,and I that's where that
conscious action has to takestep in and say I am putting my
(18:32):
phone down, I'm putting it inthe other room, I'm setting a
timer, whatever it needs, um,but we do have that time.
We just have to prioritize it.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
Yes, that's what it is is.
It's a priority and it'scommitting to yourself.
If you say you're going to doit, follow through and do it.
I love the tools.
It's funny, I'm not a journaler, I'm just.
I keep trying.
But I love meditation, I lovevisualization, I love pairing
them, I love self-hypnosis, likethat is where I can just get
(19:06):
back into my body and, like yousaid and I say this all the time
the past and the future do notexist.
It's just the now and that's.
I think that's a trigger foranxiety is people are living in
the past, worrying, or they'rethinking about what could
potentially be happening in thefuture.
Yes, so I've got a question foryou, just based on things I've
(19:30):
seen with clients over the years.
Sometimes, when I do say likehey, can we just start with 10
minutes of meditation, like aguided meditation You're
listening, right?
I'm not just asking you to sitin silence.
I'm amazed at how many womenwith anxiety come back to me and
say I can't do that.
That made me more anxious.
What would you say to that?
Speaker 3 (19:53):
That's a really good one, because I actually just had
a client yesterday.
So for my clients, I would do asubconscious release session
with them, because there'ssomething around them taking
time, so they have somethingabout taking the time for
(20:18):
themselves and there might besome guilt around it.
So that's what I would work onand I would encourage somebody
to journal about it.
What is the feeling you getwhen you're trying to meditate
and then try to uncover thoseemotions around it?
Speaker 2 (20:35):
Yeah, I think that can be really helpful.
Another one that's come up isit's not just the time, but it's
.
I'm worried about the thoughtsthat are coming into my head.
Like there's so much that needsto be released and so many
negative thought patterns thatthey get into.
So if they get silent and theyget present, even if they're
(20:56):
listening to an audio, so ifthey get silent and they get
present, even if they'relistening to an audio, they're
with themselves and they're notused to that.
Speaker 3 (21:00):
Yeah, yeah.
And again, that is something Iwould just encourage people to
do, that slowly and then alsovisualize the thoughts.
I often will take somebodythrough the visualization of
(21:21):
just watching themselves in asafe space and it's almost like
a detaching, so that their minddoesn't go crazy.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
I love that and that's the that, and then
starting slow.
Like you've said, sometimespeople get all excited about a
new modality, right, orsupplements or something, and
I'm going to take 15 right now,or I'm going to spend 45 minutes
in meditation.
Okay, If you couldn't do 10,then start with five, start with
two.
Just start with somethinginstead of saying, oh, that
(21:50):
didn't work for me.
Speaker 3 (21:52):
Yep, yeah.
And if you skip a day or if youdo one minute instead of 10
minutes, there's zero judgment.
Yes, you just start the nextday.
You're in the now.
So what am I doing now?
What did I do or what didn't Ido yesterday?
Speaker 2 (22:13):
which is huge, because women especially men too
, I think tend to get intojudgment of well, I should have
done this better and I couldhave done that and so-and-so
over here did 45 minutes ofmeditation.
Speaker 3 (22:29):
They feel amazing and don't go there.
Exactly, exactly, judgment getsin, it gets ourselves into a
lot of trouble in our head.
Yeah, yeah, because we judge,we judge ourselves and then
we'll judge other people.
Not necessarily judging otherpeople like negatively, but,
like you just said, um, they'rebetter at that than I am, and
there's that pattern to look forright.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
If you're always judging yourself, there's
something to dig into.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
Right, Like the feeling of being judged.
That's not a healthy emotion.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
It doesn't feel good.
No, it doesn't, it doesn't Okay.
Speaker 3 (23:10):
So, anxiety, limiting beliefs, anything else you want
to share or dig into while wehave a few more minutes.
There's one statement that Ilike to share with people to
help them with their anxiety.
If they're creating a storyliving in the future, I always
ask them to say is this true?
And always, coming back to that, I do it for myself, because
(23:35):
none of us are perfect, right,we're all learning these tools
over and over again.
But even for myself, when Istart creating a story, let's
just say I'm waiting forsomebody to call me back and
they haven't called me back.
Well, they must not want myservices or they didn't like
what I had to say.
And then I have to like stopmyself and say Carrie, is that
(23:57):
true?
And the answer is no, yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
I'm just making an interpretation.
Speaker 3 (24:02):
Yeah, if it's not true, why am I going into a
negative?
Why don't I just say in apositive or just let it go?
Speaker 1 (24:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (24:11):
Yeah, surrendering is such a powerful tool as well.
Such a powerful tool as well,yeah which I love of reminding
myself that I did my work, I'msurrendering and I'm allowing.
However, this is going tounfold, to unfold.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
Yeah, I love that and I like that.
Is it true?
Because that can be a greatquestion to ask yourself
throughout the day when thatjudgment creeps back in, because
it's going to.
We're human and is this true?
No, probably not.
I'm creating an interpretationand so change it and move on
Exactly.
Speaker 3 (24:50):
Exactly, yeah, and I also always like to say, too, is
we have to have compassion forother people, always like to say
, too, is we have to havecompassion for other people.
So we are all walking aroundwith the traumas on our back and
everybody's getting triggered,you know, because of their
traumas, and most of the timeit's not because of you, and
(25:13):
that's another perspective, islike I'm not causing this person
to react this way.
It is their trauma and theirjourney and that also helps pull
away.
You know, just and not workingwith you.
How do they find you?
That is coming up on that listand how to reach out to me, and
(26:02):
I also, if somebody's interestedin working through their
anxiety, I do have a freeconsult.
So I I do offer that for peoplewho want to address their
anxiety and also experience theway that I operate and the
healing modality that I do, andit's really great just to
experience it.
Whether better than just tryingto explain it.
Speaker 2 (26:25):
Yeah, yeah, sometimes what we do can't fully be
explained, right, exactly, but I, I there's so many people with
anxiety that I feel are you know, they feel hopeless and it's
like, no, there are solutions,there are things you can do.
You're proof of that, so it'sneeded.
Speaker 3 (26:44):
Yeah, there are so many different modalities.
We're in a wonderful age rightnow and I have experienced a lot
and I've tried a lot and as Igo through my life of ups and
downs, I have this great toolboxof okay, I need this modality
today and I need this modalitytomorrow.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
It's just wonderful.
Speaker 3 (27:07):
We're in a great space for healing we really are.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
Yeah, there's so much , and that's the thing.
What works for someone else maynot work for you, and that's
okay.
It is about finding thosemodalities.
Like I said, journaling isn'tit for me.
Maybe it is next week, I don'tknow.
Speaker 3 (27:25):
Right, right, and around journaling people do have
a lot of fear or anxiety aroundjournaling.
I just help people grab a scrappiece of paper and write
something down.
Yeah, it can be a sentence, itcan be a couple of words.
It doesn't have to be anything,you know, but sometimes in our
head we think it has to bebigger than what it is.
Speaker 2 (27:45):
Yeah, true, true, awesome.
Well, thank you so much.
It was great having you on here.
Everything will be in the shownotes, guys, so if you want to
reach out to,
Welcome to the Heal Yourself Podcast, where we dive
deep into all things healing.
I'm Denise, a speech-languagepathologist and a self-love
coach for adults and teens.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
And I'm Kira, a traditional naturopath and
functional nutritionist, and weare here to guide you through
the transformative process ofhealing your body, mind and soul
.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
From the latest in functional medicine to nurturing
your relationship with yourself, healing trauma and even
transforming your money story.
We're here to empower you withthe knowledge and tools to
create lasting change.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
So, whether you're looking to heal physically,
emotionally or spiritually, joinus as we explore the many paths
to wholeness and wellness.
Hello everyone, and welcomeback to another episode of Heal
Yourself Podcast.
Today, I am joined by a specialguest.
(01:00):
I'm sorry, guys, denise is nothere, but I am joined by Carrie
Valette, and I may havebutchered that again.
She just told me how to say it.
Special guest.
I'm sorry, guys, denise is nothere, but I am joined by Carrie
Valette, and I may havebutchered that again.
She just told me how to say it.
Okay, good, good.
So she helps women overcomeanxiety and emotional blocks by
addressing the subconscious rootcauses of their struggles.
Through a unique framework ofreleasing limiting beliefs,
(01:22):
rewiring thought patterns andbuilding confidence, she
empowers women to create innerpeace, manifest their desires
and step into their authenticself, which is all like music to
my ears.
So, keri, welcome to thepodcast.
Speaker 3 (01:38):
Thank you very much.
Super happy to be here today.
Speaker 2 (01:41):
So tell us.
I'm always curious how did youget into this space?
Speaker 3 (01:47):
It was a little bit of a journey for myself.
I experienced anxiety as well,and it really came to a head for
me when I had my third childand I was in a not a healthy
relationship and I hadpostpartum, and so it was like
this whole snowball of eventsjust happening.
(02:08):
And that's really when Istarted my journey on how to
heal myself.
I wasn't into, you know, justtaking a pill to make myself
happy.
Well, I had tried that and itdidn't work, frankly, and I knew
that there was something else.
I knew it had something to dowith me.
So I just, on this journey,just started healing myself and
(02:35):
it's been maybe 15 years now andI just love where I am right
now and I learned a bunch oftools and tricks on the way and
now I just really love helpingother women deal with their
anxiety in a quicker way than Idid.
Yeah, it doesn't have to bethat long.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Well, and anxiety is such a tricky one too, because,
yeah, I mean, there's such amental piece Like you can very
easily send yourself into aspiral.
Yeah, yeah.
What did the healing journeylook like for you?
And I know that's probably aloaded question.
Speaker 3 (03:13):
Yeah, well, I I first started taking care of myself,
you know, eating wise and makingsure anything I was consuming
was healthier, and then I gavemyself some time to sit quietly,
which in the beginning, when Ihad little kids, that was very,
very difficult and I had a lotof guilt associated with taking
(03:34):
time out for myself.
So I grew into putting myselffirst, which you know I still
have ebb and flows of that butputting myself first, doing the
journaling, you know, findingdifferent ways to calm myself
down, and that took many, manyyears.
(03:59):
But I would say in the lastcouple years I had a huge shift.
I'd say in the last couple ofyears I had a huge shift and I
found this other modality withthe subconscious work, and that
was really what has triggered meto do this as a business and to
support other women and myself.
I've been doing it on myselffor a few years as well as well,
(04:30):
and it's just a wonderfulsimple practice that anybody can
do and it just clears my mindand it takes away that heavy
load, that anxiety can have ahold on you.
Speaker 2 (04:40):
I'm curious too you in your bio and we spoke to, but
you help women with emotionalblocks, limiting beliefs.
How did those tie into anxiety?
Speaker 3 (04:51):
Because I know there's a connection we are
creating our subconscious andwe're creating belief systems
about ourselves and the world orjust anything.
And if we have these negativebelief systems in our head based
(05:15):
on situations that has happenedin our lives, for example,
let's just say, for an example,that you do a play when you're
in school, five years old orsomething, and you get up on
stage and you feel great andthen somebody laughs at you or
picks on you for that and inyour mind you think, well, I
(05:36):
cannot use my voice, I cannotshow up.
You know all of these limitingbeliefs that stick into your
subconscious at that time.
They stick with you and as yougo on with your life, this
subconscious belief system of,let's say, feeling small or not
(06:00):
using your voice can happen overand over throughout your life.
Using your voice can happenover and over throughout your
life.
And as a child, you createthese belief systems to protect
yourself.
And as an adult, it does notprotect you to stay small or not
use your voice.
That does not protect you.
So we have to get rid of thosesubconscious belief systems.
(06:25):
Now, if you have this beliefsystem of I can't use my voice
and this runs in your head allthe time, it's going to cause
you to feel anxious, and I feellike a lot of people can relate
to that one.
Speaker 2 (06:42):
Ah, probably everyone listening.
You know people can relate tothat one.
Speaker 3 (06:45):
Probably everyone listening, you know Right.
So whatever we come up with forprotection and our belief
systems, and if they're negative, can cause us anxiety, which is
a thought and a feeling.
Speaker 2 (07:01):
So this one's kind of a funny question, but Denise
and I have been on our healingjourney now for a while and
subconscious and all of that hasbeen very impactful on us, just
looking back at our lives likegosh.
Where did I learn that?
Do you feel like it's importantfor people, just in general, to
(07:21):
take time to reflect on all oftheir current belief systems,
whether they serve them wherethose beliefs came from?
Absolutely.
Speaker 3 (07:29):
Absolutely, because they prevent you from moving
forward in your life.
Now, journaling is a wonderfultool to use, and meditation as
well, to kind of unravel wherethese patterns or belief systems
come from.
(07:49):
It's not always needed to knowexactly where they come from,
right, but it's great to see thepattern, and I always like to
tell people just to step backand look at your life and
observe it from a differentperspective, like it's not you,
(08:13):
and when you can pull yourselfaway a little bit, it helps you
detach emotionally and then tosay, well, yeah, I had those six
bad relationships.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
I had those six bad relationships.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
There's a pattern In that relationship.
Those could also be workrelationships.
It doesn't always have to bethe same kind of thing, but the
theme is the same, like whereare the themes in your life that
keep repeating in a negativeway?
Yeah, oh yes.
(08:50):
Identifying what they are ismost important and where they
come from is very helpful.
So you can release it, becausea lot of times we will hold
emotions associated with thesebelief systems.
Speaker 2 (09:00):
Yeah, I think that's such powerful work.
Like.
This is the realm of healingthat Denise and I love getting
into.
Like, yes, the physical healing, but when you're holding on to
all of those beliefs, yeah, itcan lead to anxiety, but it can
lead to physical manifestationsof disease because you're just
storing that.
I will chime in here withsomething because we all have
(09:25):
these beliefs, guys.
Every single one of us willstart to recognize patterns of
like why is this happening?
And instead of going intovictim mentality of oh my gosh,
this always happens to me.
It's.
Why is this happening?
But I will say, not being ananxious person, the one thing
(09:45):
that brings me anxiety is tryingto figure out where these
things came from, because Ican't pinpoint.
I can see the patterns, but Ican't remember where a lot of
these came from, and so I likethat you said it's not always
important, because we can driveourselves insane with oh my gosh
, where did that one belief comefrom?
I can't track it.
Speaker 3 (10:01):
Exactly, exactly, and so what the most important
thing is is to think about thosepatterns that you have and what
emotions come up when you'rethinking about it.
How did it make you feel?
Because the feeling is probablythe same each time, and that's
the, that's what you need torelease is that emotion that is
(10:25):
gone?
You're like, okay, I feel freer, I feel lighter, and then
you'll see that that patternwon't happen again.
And I'll just say that you alsohave to take some conscious
action.
You can a bad relationship andyou want to end it, and you have
(10:50):
to not contact the person likethat would be a conscious action
, so you do the emotional pieceright.
But then you also have to say,like I'm not going to call this
person, I'm not going to textthem, Like I'm going to not do
that.
So there has to be a balance.
But 80% of it all is mindsetand doing that subconscious work
.
Speaker 2 (11:10):
So I'm curious how do you help people figure out some
of those blocks?
Speaker 3 (11:17):
It's really easy because people just love to talk
about their stuff.
When somebody's in a safe spaceand I really feel like I create
a nice safe space and when youhave friends or family members
or therapists or whomever whereyou can feel really safe, you'll
(11:42):
just start speaking about thesituations in your life and as
somebody else who can just seewhat you're saying, it's so easy
to find the pattern because itjust comes up.
It just comes up and when wereally listen to somebody speak,
(12:08):
we can hear their core messagesand their core problems almost
all the time Because it's in oursubconscious.
We just say it, even if we'retalking about money, because
money can, you can have a lot oftrauma.
If you'll constantly say, well,I can't go out because I don't
have the money, or I don't havethe money to pay my bills, or
(12:29):
this person is evil because theyhave the money, I'm jealous of
this person.
Like, if we really just open upour ears and listen to each
other, we can help peopleidentify their traumas and their
negative belief systems.
Speaker 2 (12:44):
Yeah, even if they can't see them on themselves.
Speaker 3 (12:48):
Yeah, it is.
It is harder to see it inyourself or it does take some
work because we're so used to it.
It's just our way of speakingand our way of listening.
Speaker 2 (13:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (13:01):
But one of the things I love to tell people is, if
you want to do theself-discovery piece, just
really pay attention to whattriggers you.
What's making you upset?
That's it.
What's making you upset?
It's usually not that thing.
There's a reason behind it andthere's an emotion behind it,
yeah, so look at.
You can look at your triggersas what a beautiful gift this is
(13:24):
that someone's making me upsetor I'm becoming upset by this
person's words or actions.
That's a sign that you can diginto.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:35):
Denise and I talk I feel like we talked about that
on an episode.
If not, I don't know it'scoming but we talk about
triggers being lessons, and itdoesn't mean that they're fun to
go through, but every time youget triggered, it's a great
opportunity to ask yourself whyis this upsetting me?
What about the situation isbringing up this emotion?
(13:56):
Yeah, because yeah.
Otherwise it's like oh, I'mupset with this person, I'm
annoyed with this, I'm pissedoff with that.
Okay, but what good is thatdoing for you?
Absolutely.
Speaker 3 (14:07):
And I also like to say just ask your ask the why
question.
So if you have somebody whoyou're living with that isn't
doing the dishes, and you'regetting frustrated and you have
to dig deeper, why is thatfrustrating me?
Well, they're leaving the workfor me.
Well, why does that frustrateyou?
Well, I feel like I have to doit all myself, and every time
(14:31):
you ask yourself why you can diga little bit deeper because
there's a core problem in thatsituation.
Speaker 2 (14:40):
Yeah, so it sounds almost like there's steps.
First, is even recognizingthese patterns or the triggers
right, because a lot of timespeople just brush off the
triggers Again.
They just I'm annoyed, whateverit is, what it is, but when you
can keep digging into but why,but why, but why?
I feel like you mentioned rootcauses.
That is how you get to the rootcauses.
(15:01):
You keep asking why is thishappening?
Or why am I feeling this?
Speaker 3 (15:07):
Absolutely.
Speaker 2 (15:08):
Yep, yeah, it's funny .
It's like medicine, like I workin the space of functional
medicine and I'm like the rootcause is not just a deficiency
in magnesium or gut floraimbalance.
What is driving that?
Why are you deficient inmagnesium?
Are you just not eating thosefoods?
Are you not absorbing?
So it's the same thing.
You have to keep asking whyuntil there's nothing left to
(15:30):
ask Exactly.
Speaker 3 (15:32):
Exactly, that's like.
I think somebody teaches that,like asking the seven whys to
get to the root cause and it andit can apply to so many
different areas in your life.
A hundred percent, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
Um, so, once someone has created the awareness,
worked through the triggers orat least evaluated them, and
even started recognizing thesepatterns, right, I have money
issues.
I didn't realize that.
I have worthiness issues, or Ialways pick the wrong guy.
What are some tools orstrategies?
(16:08):
I know you mentioned journaling, but is there anything else you
suggest to people?
Speaker 3 (16:13):
Yeah, journaling is amazing because it will help
spark conversations withinyourself.
I also love to do meditation,and just because it brings your
body into a calming state andbrings you to the now.
We spend a lot of time lookingforward, looking backward, but
(16:36):
really all we have is the nowand meditation helps us be
present in the now.
So meditation is great.
Visualization is super powerful.
It is super powerful.
We could probably talk forhours about visualization, about
(17:02):
visualization.
But you can either have somebodyguide you through a
visualization or you can createa visualization of even going
back into your past and doingsome healing work with your
inner child.
You can visualize your goalsand what you want to manifest
and so much that you can do withvisualization.
So those are my top tools forhelping with anxiety and
(17:26):
uncovering your root causes andalso supporting your healing.
And, that being said, you dohave to take time for yourself,
especially as women, and there'sso much guilt around taking
time for ourselves and it's sucha silly thing.
(17:48):
I've been teaching some peoplehow to support themselves for
manifesting and all you reallyneed to do is take 30 minutes in
a day, and I hear this so oftenis I don't have 30 minutes.
Speaker 2 (18:02):
Oh yeah, I heard all the time I hear I don't have 20
minutes to sit and do ameditation or a hypnosis or yeah
, right, right.
Speaker 3 (18:11):
And if we look at how many hours we have in a day, we
have 30 minutes.
I often ask people to look atyour phone.
How much time have you beenspending on your phone Just
scrolling a lot?
And I I'm guilty of that too,and I that's where that
conscious action has to takestep in and say I am putting my
(18:32):
phone down, I'm putting it inthe other room, I'm setting a
timer, whatever it needs, um,but we do have that time.
We just have to prioritize it.
Speaker 2 (18:41):
Yes, that's what it is is.
It's a priority and it'scommitting to yourself.
If you say you're going to doit, follow through and do it.
I love the tools.
It's funny, I'm not a journaler, I'm just.
I keep trying.
But I love meditation, I lovevisualization, I love pairing
them, I love self-hypnosis, likethat is where I can just get
(19:06):
back into my body and, like yousaid and I say this all the time
the past and the future do notexist.
It's just the now and that's.
I think that's a trigger foranxiety is people are living in
the past, worrying, or they'rethinking about what could
potentially be happening in thefuture.
Yes, so I've got a question foryou, just based on things I've
(19:30):
seen with clients over the years.
Sometimes, when I do say likehey, can we just start with 10
minutes of meditation, like aguided meditation You're
listening, right?
I'm not just asking you to sitin silence.
I'm amazed at how many womenwith anxiety come back to me and
say I can't do that.
That made me more anxious.
What would you say to that?
Speaker 3 (19:53):
That's a really good one, because I actually just had
a client yesterday.
So for my clients, I would do asubconscious release session
with them, because there'ssomething around them taking
time, so they have somethingabout taking the time for
(20:18):
themselves and there might besome guilt around it.
So that's what I would work onand I would encourage somebody
to journal about it.
What is the feeling you getwhen you're trying to meditate
and then try to uncover thoseemotions around it?
Speaker 2 (20:35):
Yeah, I think that can be really helpful.
Another one that's come up isit's not just the time, but it's
.
I'm worried about the thoughtsthat are coming into my head.
Like there's so much that needsto be released and so many
negative thought patterns thatthey get into.
So if they get silent and theyget present, even if they're
(20:56):
listening to an audio, so ifthey get silent and they get
present, even if they'relistening to an audio, they're
with themselves and they're notused to that.
Speaker 3 (21:00):
Yeah, yeah.
And again, that is something Iwould just encourage people to
do, that slowly and then alsovisualize the thoughts.
I often will take somebodythrough the visualization of
(21:21):
just watching themselves in asafe space and it's almost like
a detaching, so that their minddoesn't go crazy.
Speaker 2 (21:29):
I love that and that's the that, and then
starting slow.
Like you've said, sometimespeople get all excited about a
new modality, right, orsupplements or something, and
I'm going to take 15 right now,or I'm going to spend 45 minutes
in meditation.
Okay, If you couldn't do 10,then start with five, start with
two.
Just start with somethinginstead of saying, oh, that
(21:50):
didn't work for me.
Speaker 3 (21:52):
Yep, yeah.
And if you skip a day or if youdo one minute instead of 10
minutes, there's zero judgment.
Yes, you just start the nextday.
You're in the now.
So what am I doing now?
What did I do or what didn't Ido yesterday?
Speaker 2 (22:13):
which is huge, because women especially men too
, I think tend to get intojudgment of well, I should have
done this better and I couldhave done that and so-and-so
over here did 45 minutes ofmeditation.
Speaker 3 (22:29):
They feel amazing and don't go there.
Exactly, exactly, judgment getsin, it gets ourselves into a
lot of trouble in our head.
Yeah, yeah, because we judge,we judge ourselves and then
we'll judge other people.
Not necessarily judging otherpeople like negatively, but,
like you just said, um, they'rebetter at that than I am, and
there's that pattern to look forright.
Speaker 2 (22:48):
If you're always judging yourself, there's
something to dig into.
Speaker 3 (22:52):
Right, Like the feeling of being judged.
That's not a healthy emotion.
Speaker 2 (22:56):
It doesn't feel good.
No, it doesn't, it doesn't Okay.
Speaker 3 (23:10):
So, anxiety, limiting beliefs, anything else you want
to share or dig into while wehave a few more minutes.
There's one statement that Ilike to share with people to
help them with their anxiety.
If they're creating a storyliving in the future, I always
ask them to say is this true?
And always, coming back to that, I do it for myself, because
(23:35):
none of us are perfect, right,we're all learning these tools
over and over again.
But even for myself, when Istart creating a story, let's
just say I'm waiting forsomebody to call me back and
they haven't called me back.
Well, they must not want myservices or they didn't like
what I had to say.
And then I have to like stopmyself and say Carrie, is that
(23:57):
true?
And the answer is no, yeah.
Speaker 1 (24:00):
I'm just making an interpretation.
Speaker 3 (24:02):
Yeah, if it's not true, why am I going into a
negative?
Why don't I just say in apositive or just let it go?
Speaker 1 (24:09):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (24:11):
Yeah, surrendering is such a powerful tool as well.
Such a powerful tool as well,yeah which I love of reminding
myself that I did my work, I'msurrendering and I'm allowing.
However, this is going tounfold, to unfold.
Speaker 2 (24:30):
Yeah, I love that and I like that.
Is it true?
Because that can be a greatquestion to ask yourself
throughout the day when thatjudgment creeps back in, because
it's going to.
We're human and is this true?
No, probably not.
I'm creating an interpretationand so change it and move on
Exactly.
Speaker 3 (24:50):
Exactly, yeah, and I also always like to say, too, is
we have to have compassion forother people, always like to say
, too, is we have to havecompassion for other people.
So we are all walking aroundwith the traumas on our back and
everybody's getting triggered,you know, because of their
traumas, and most of the timeit's not because of you, and
(25:13):
that's another perspective, islike I'm not causing this person
to react this way.
It is their trauma and theirjourney and that also helps pull
away.
You know, just and not workingwith you.
How do they find you?
That is coming up on that listand how to reach out to me, and
(26:02):
I also, if somebody's interestedin working through their
anxiety, I do have a freeconsult.
So I I do offer that for peoplewho want to address their
anxiety and also experience theway that I operate and the
healing modality that I do, andit's really great just to
experience it.
Whether better than just tryingto explain it.
Speaker 2 (26:25):
Yeah, yeah, sometimes what we do can't fully be
explained, right, exactly, but I, I there's so many people with
anxiety that I feel are you know, they feel hopeless and it's
like, no, there are solutions,there are things you can do.
You're proof of that, so it'sneeded.
Speaker 3 (26:44):
Yeah, there are so many different modalities.
We're in a wonderful age rightnow and I have experienced a lot
and I've tried a lot and as Igo through my life of ups and
downs, I have this great toolboxof okay, I need this modality
today and I need this modalitytomorrow.
Speaker 1 (27:06):
It's just wonderful.
Speaker 3 (27:07):
We're in a great space for healing we really are.
Speaker 2 (27:11):
Yeah, there's so much , and that's the thing.
What works for someone else maynot work for you, and that's
okay.
It is about finding thosemodalities.
Like I said, journaling isn'tit for me.
Maybe it is next week, I don'tknow.
Speaker 3 (27:25):
Right, right, and around journaling people do have
a lot of fear or anxiety aroundjournaling.
I just help people grab a scrappiece of paper and write
something down.
Yeah, it can be a sentence, itcan be a couple of words.
It doesn't have to be anything,you know, but sometimes in our
head we think it has to bebigger than what it is.
Speaker 2 (27:45):
Yeah, true, true, awesome.
Well, thank you so much.
It was great having you on here.
Everything will be in the shownotes, guys, so if you want to
reach out to,
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