May 15, 2025 • 25 mins
The phrase "it's all in your head" has been weaponized against countless people struggling with chronic illness, especially women. But what if we could reclaim this phrase as a source of empowerment rather than dismissal?
In this thought-provoking episode, Denise and Kira challenge us to reimagine what it means when symptoms originate in our minds. Far from suggesting these symptoms aren't real, they explore the scientific reality that our thoughts, beliefs, and emotional states directly influence our biology in profound ways.
The most liberating insight? If your mind can create or exacerbate symptoms, it also holds the key to healing them. This episode offers transformative questions to help you explore your own mind-body connection: What emotions are you not processing? What thought loops keep reinforcing your illness? What would change if you truly believed your body was on your side?
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Welcome to the Heal Yourself Podcast, where we dive
deep into all things healing.
I'm Denise, a speech languagepathologist and a self-love
coach for adults and teens.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
And I'm Kira, a traditional naturopath and
functional nutritionist, andwe're here to guide you through
the transformative process ofhealing your body, mind and soul
From the latest in functionalmedicine, of healing your body,
mind and soul, from the latestin functional medicine to
nurturing your relationship withyourself, healing trauma and
even transforming your moneystory.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
we're here to empower you with the knowledge and
tools to create lasting change.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
So, whether you're looking to heal physically,
emotionally or spiritually, joinus as we explore the many paths
to wholeness and wellness.
Hello everyone, welcome back toanother episode.
Today, denise and I are talkingabout something that might make
(01:01):
you a little squirmish Becausewe're talking about the phrase
that so many of us have beentold it's all in your head.
We're not gaslighting you, so Iwant to offer a reframe.
As we're chatting today, Thinkabout what if this phrase was
true, but it was actually goodnews.
(01:22):
So a lot of times when we hearit's all in your head, we hear
like you're crazy, right, LikeDenise, were you ever told that?
Speaker 1 (01:32):
As far as symptoms, yeah, yeah, no, no, no, okay.
Oh, I mean I was told that well, because when I was going
through the migraine stuff andthings it was just like there's
this, is it Like there's nothingwe can?
Speaker 2 (01:46):
do yeah, it is in your head literally.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
Yeah, but then, um, but yeah, I just took mine on my
own.
No, no, no, I haven't.
I haven't had that experience,but I know a lot of people have.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Yes, and that's the thing, like I think so many
women hear that, especially whenthey get into like
perimenopause and stuff startsshifting of, like yep, it's all
in your head.
I don't want to tell you Idon't see anything in your blood
work and it's like, well, no,that's not a helpful like.
Now you're making me feel likeI'm crazy, but that's the thing
I want to talk about it, asmaybe it is all in your head,
but not from the crazyperspective.
You know what I mean.
Like when we say something isin your head, I want you guys to
(02:28):
view it as the lens of likemind-body medicine.
Your thoughts, your beliefs,your stress, your emotion all of
those things are shaping yourbiology, so it is in your head.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
Yeah, so we are reframing it.
So.
So the terms that we're using,it's in your head, we're not
using it kind of like you'recrazy, you're not, you don't
know your body, you don't knowyourself.
It's like what are the thoughtsand or the things that you're
not digesting that are in yourhead causing those symptoms?
Right, is that the reframe inthere?
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Okay, I think so, because when I mean we're not
talking about like I have thisgenetic condition or my
chromosomes or this, like we'retalking about disease that
develops in life Okay, not a, Ihave seasonal allergies but like
you develop an autoimmunedisease, you develop chronic
(03:23):
migraines, like in yourcondition or IBS like me, like
something that starts to develop.
We don't want you to look at itas just a physical thing,
because it never is.
It's not just you were eating acrappy diet.
Does that play a role?
Yeah, lots of people are eatingcrappy diets.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Absolutely it does play a role, absolutely.
However, I do know that thereare a lot more.
You know deeper rooting intothat as well.
Yes, look at the diet, but yougot to look because I know that
you say that a lot and I reallylove.
What else in life are you notdigesting?
Speaker 2 (04:00):
I think it's important and that's the thing.
And this is where I see a flawin functional medicine.
I mean, you know, Denise, and Ithink a lot of our listeners
know, I'm very passionate aboutfunctional medicine because I
feel like it helped me.
It saved my husband's life.
I've seen so many amazingthings that it does.
But functional medicine hasvery much become run.
(04:21):
These expensive labs take thesesupplements.
If that doesn't work, you werejust on the wrong protocol, Like
let's tweak it.
But that's.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
Do you remember when we were in school together, what
did our mentor tell us whenwe're actually talking about the
supplements course?
Remember she said that don'treplace, as a practitioner,
don't replace the prescriptionwith a supplement link.
Right, and that's.
I know where you're coming frombecause I know that you see a
(04:51):
lot of clients and you see a lotof practitioners.
You know, as part of your air,as your field right now, and I
know that this how disheartenedyou are when you're seeing you
know, practitioners who areclaiming functional medicine,
but all they do is seeing.
You know practitioners who areclaiming functional medicine,
but all they do is giving youknow supplements.
However, I do want to ask thatquestion Do you think they're
doing that because the clientsare coming to them like wanting
(05:15):
to, they're desperate, they'relike we really want to heal.
I cannot take this whateveranymore.
What do you have for me that isdifferent?
And then the practitioner islooking like yeah, sure, I can
do all these things, but I got asupplement with supplements to
help them, but do you thinksometimes they lose that?
What are your thoughts?
Because you are in that world.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
I think it's twofold.
That's a good question, BecauseI think that in the
practitioner space I can't talk.
There's like people for themost part have good intentions,
right, they're getting into itbecause they want to help people
.
But if they're new, I look atyou and I when we were new, all
I knew how to do was give somesupplements.
(05:54):
Like I was really good at doingthat.
So I think there's that and Ido think that a lot of people
we've talked about this before.
I want to Amazon prime theirhealth and that is the number
one question that people come tome asking.
I literally got an email thismorning from someone that's like
do you treat this conditionwith supplements?
And I'm like no, I don't treatanything with supplement, Like
(06:15):
it goes deeper than that.
So people are asking forsupplements and that's fine.
But I think the disconnect isthere are some who will just do
supplements but they're notpaying attention to what's
happening in the mind.
You can't out supplement acrappy mindset.
If you hate your life, you havecrappy relationships, you don't
(06:36):
know how to manage stress,You're not eating well, you
don't get in the sun, Like itdoesn't matter.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
Well, it's not, like it's everything.
It's relationships, finances,career, hobbies.
You're not taking care ofyourself, you're not filling
your cup, like those really,really play a huge role.
Yes, diet, you know great, andsupplements and everything.
But in general, like if youlook at all the other areas,
like, let's say, your diet is onpoint and your supplements are
(07:03):
on point, however, everythingelse in your life is crumbling.
Okay, sure, sure, let me.
I mean the supplements aregoing to work absolutely and the
diet will work.
However, they only work to acertain point, right, and then
something, and then somethingelse is going to show up and and
then, you know, create evenmore problems.
So it is in your head, meaningthat your mind and your thoughts
(07:28):
do matter.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
Yeah, even if we go into the client that deals with
health challenges, let's use myhusband, right?
I've talked about himautoimmune hepatitis.
He has no symptoms.
He's in remission.
Things have been great, but inthe beginning I know he made
things worse because as soon ashe received that diagnosis he
(07:51):
went to oh my gosh, what's goingto happen to me?
Googling stuff, joiningFacebook groups.
He absolutely made hiscondition worse because he
wasn't looking at what was goingon in his head, right, he was
just focused on the diagnosisand you've said this before the
identification with thatdiagnosis, and not looking at
(08:13):
the fact that he hated his job.
Truly.
He was stressed out we had anewborn baby, he was not
sleeping well, he wasn't takingcare of himself in any of those
avenues and so, yeah, I don'tknow where we were going with
this.
I started rambling.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
I'm writing notes because this is how we plan our
episodes.
So Kira sends me a voicemessage.
This came to me, you know, andI'm like, okay, let's roll with
it.
I, we barely write notes and Ilook at the notes.
I'm not even looking at thenotes, so we are bouncing back
and forth.
So while you're talking, Iwrite notes.
So I love it.
So I love how you you said aboutreceiving a diagnosis.
(08:52):
I don't know if there arestatistics, but I know an,
either, of course, a masterclass, something or a podcast,
somewhere it could be gym, itcould be gym, I don't know
Something like, I think it isgym for and about like, you know
, when people receive thediagnosis, they'll be fine, and
then they'll go to the doctor todo some checkup and they
receive a diagnosis of anythingRight.
So I'm going to give like,whatever, any diagnosis diabetes
(09:13):
, cancer, whatever and theyimmediately, their condition
immediately, start worsening.
They were fine, they were finebefore, and then or like, or.
Or.
When somebody tells somebodythat, and that's what I don't
like, when people say, oh, theyhave six months, I'm like who
are you Like?
Speaker 2 (09:28):
are you like?
Do you have?
Are you God?
Speaker 1 (09:31):
I mean, I get it.
Sure, you understand the body.
However, I mean you might.
You might need to understandthe universe and see that
miracles happen all the time,however.
So there's something.
So that's definitely in yourhead, and what happens is we
start identifying, or peoplestart identifying with their
diagnosis.
Some people, unfortunately, useit as an excuse.
(09:52):
Right, and when you use that asan excuse, when you identify
with it, what are you doing?
You are giving your power awayto that thing that now is
controlling you.
Oh, I can't do this because Ihave an autoimmune.
Or you know, I didn't do thisbecause I have, I have an
autoimmune.
So you're just again pointingfinger, and this is to as the
victim mentality.
So, again, if you're listeningto anything and you're like, oh,
(10:16):
my goodness, I'm triggered, I'm, you said something that
offended me.
Please look within.
Please look within Because, atthe end of the day, even if you
do identify the diagnosis, like,say, you know what I do and,
however, I want to change that.
So this is the phrase where itis in your head that we're
reframing, that we're notgaslighting you.
(10:36):
We know that you have thesymptoms.
Reframing that we're notgaslighting you.
We know that you have thesymptoms.
However, it is time for you totake control, not the symptoms
or the diagnosis.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
Yeah, it's time for you to look at what's going on
in your head, because I feellike this is actually far more
empowering than being like, ohmy gosh, the labs aren't showing
me anything or the supplementsaren't working.
Or you know, I tweaked myprotocol and I've spent $20,000
on practitioners and nothing ischanging.
Okay, but if you change that to, it's all in my head.
You can start to look at what'smy mindset.
What are the stories I've beentelling myself for decades?
(11:13):
What unprocessed emotions ortrauma are living in me?
That is more empowering thanwell.
I need you to tell me what todo.
No, no, no, no, no.
You heal yourself.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Exactly, you heal yourself, and I'm going to right
now talk from.
So it's not just in the healthworld, in any, or in the mental
health world or whatever.
At the end of the day, youdon't go to anybody to save you
or to fix you.
You go to somebody to assistyou, to help you, to guide you,
to give you more tools.
And that's literally what Itell the parents, because right
(11:44):
now, as you know, I'm seeing myprivate clients in their home
and it's amazing because theparents are there.
Maybe some SLPs may not like it.
I love it because they arethere.
I am teaching them, I'm coachingthem and I tell them listen, I
don't have the magic wand.
I teach you, I teach thestudents, I give you the
strategy I give the students.
(12:05):
I don't go with them.
I'm not with them every day.
It is your responsibility toalso do your part right.
So you're not even when you goto speech therapist to fix your
speech.
You're not going there for herto fix you.
You're going there for you tolearn from her or from him, and
(12:25):
then go and do it on your own aswell.
You can't just rely and I do seethe difference between the
clients who only rely on me.
I see the progress and I see theclients, and even when they are
three and four years old, andwhen I, when the parent, comes
and tells me I've been doingthis and this with the child,
and now that child, who'snonverbal is starting to point
to requests and starting toprotest by saying no and
(12:47):
throwing himself on the floor,well, guess what?
It's not just me, it's also you, mom or dad, you know, or mom
and dad.
So, in any area of your life,even when you go to a therapist
for mental health or whatever,the therapist is not there.
I mean, they give you advice,they give you tips, they give
you the tools, but it's up toyou.
So what we're saying is because, remember what do we say?
(13:08):
The first step to change isawareness and saying it is in my
head.
That doesn't mean that you aredismissing yourself, dismissing
your symptoms, dismissing yourpain, but you are taking control
of it and it means you'restarting to look at what's going
on in your head.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
Like I want to give a couple examples here.
If you're somebody that is achronic worrier, right, you
worry about everything,everything in the future,
everything that might go wrong.
What are we doing in the body?
Well, now we're raisingcortisol.
Well, chronically elevatedcortisol levels are going to
lead to gut issues, to hormoneissues, to immune suppression,
(13:43):
to fatigue.
It creates a ripple effect.
It's not the cortisol.
This is the thing that I have.
So many women come to me andthey're like I think I have
adrenal fatigue and I'm like,okay, but what led to that
adrenal fatigue?
It doesn't just happen.
Were you worrying?
Were you not holding boundaries?
Like what was going on?
The same thing with grief.
If you're someone that shovesthat grief down and you don't
(14:06):
properly grieve something or youcontinue to let it bug you
years later, right, like, let itgo, that's going to shut down
the vagus nerve.
Then we're going to deal withslow motility and constipation
and thyroid issues.
Like you can see how one teeny,tiny little emotion that runs
rogue is going to start tocreate some physiological issues
(14:26):
.
But we just look at thephysiological.
We don't look at the emotionswhere we should be saying, okay,
if this is happening and I havechronic constipation or
migraines or thyroid issues whathas the body been trying to
tell me throughout the yearsthat I am choosing to ignore?
Absolutely, absolutely.
(14:47):
And you said something, too, andthis triggers another thought.
But we were talking beforeabout identifying, and you said,
you know, identifying with thedisease.
Are you identifying with beingthe sick one?
Are you identifying withsomeone who is never going to
get better?
And I remember a quote, and Idon't remember if this was anita
morjani or someone else, but itwas the best way to heal is to
(15:11):
not need healing, if that makessense, meaning stop focusing on
why you're broken and startfocusing on how amazing the body
is, and that is not an easything to do.
I'm just going to say that I'mwell aware that, when you were
in the thick of feelingabsolutely awful, just going I
feel amazing is not going towork.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
No, no, I get it, I get it and it's okay to go
through those, I get it.
However, when you are, you knowwhen the pain is, you know, not
crazy, or when you feel better.
This is when you, when we'retalking to, we're looking within
and working on the emotions andstuff like that.
You want to do that.
When you are in a state of mindthat is not, and so if you have
(15:51):
an autoimmune and it's flaringup and you're in pain, we
completely get it.
You need to go through thatpain.
However, also, it's goingthrough the pain that's going to
heal, right, and I know youdon't want to hear it and I know
it sucks, I get it.
And, however, it's through thepain, kind of like through when
(16:13):
we talk about, through themessiness that you see.
It's through the pain that yousee the bright light and the
rainbows and the daisies.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
And when you start looking for the lessons within,
not just focusing on this is somiserable.
I'm never going to get better.
That's not going to help you.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
Yeah, and, like we said, everything is an
opportunity to learn.
Yeah, so I'm having thesesymptoms, they are this, this
and this, and I'm taking thesesupplements to help me.
I'm working with this, but whatelse?
What else can I, can I gothrough?
And I mean, you mentioned a lotwith the, with the cortisol and
all that stuff, right, andagain, you know, even the tiny
stress like you stressing, like,for example, like you can't
(16:51):
find parking, this is puttingyou in fight or flight, right.
So, get it right.
So being in the fight or flightis something that is beneficial
for our body.
If there's truly a short term,yeah too.
Yeah, and then we go back tohomeostasis, I get that, but can
you imagine your body being infight or flight literally all
the time over?
Speaker 2 (17:09):
stupid shit, and there are people like that.
Of course all over.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
Yeah, and we're not like offending anybody or
anything, but I mean the thingis just like if in the morning
let's say you're stressing overbeing late for work and then not
finding parking and this, sothese are like four, five, six,
seven instances in a row, that'sputting you in fight or flight.
So when you're in a flight orflight, everything shuts down
and eating right.
So let's say, everything shutdown because you're going.
(17:38):
You know, you're absolutelyfrantic in the morning, but then
you're still eating yourbreakfast while you're in the
pool.
What is that doing to your body?
Over time?
Your body can only take so much, right?
Yes, it is.
You know it is made to healitself, you know.
But you got to also supplementit with not just supplements
that you swallow.
You got to supplement it withlove, with the compassion, with
(17:59):
the grace, with theunderstanding, with the
forgiveness, with, you know,saying, yes, this thing happened
in the past, but the past isdone and over with.
What else can I do now?
There's the meditation that I dopretty much every morning, but
I have not done it in two weeks,but I did it today by Joe
Dispenza, and you know he talksabout.
(18:21):
Shoot, I forgot what I wassaying.
But anyway, this is real life,guys.
Okay, listen to it.
It's the morning one by JoeDispenza, but darn it, now I
have to go back and listen, so Iknow what I was trying to say,
but anyway I love it becauseit's um, he talks a lot about
also forgetting not forgetting,like if you want to change you,
(18:44):
it's it's important also to notidentify with your familiar self
and make decisions that arealigned with the self that you
want to be Love that.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
Um.
And one other thing I want tosay.
If our brain can create thesesymptoms right and we know that
it can, but it's based inresearch, it's not just Denise
and I pulling shit out of ourass, it's a thing it can also
uncreate it.
So the same mind that held ontothe trauma can be the tool for
release, for regulation, forhealing.
(19:16):
And if you guys have notwatched the documentary Heal, I
literally tell this to all of myclients.
The documentary Heal was reallyprofound for me.
I saw it years ago.
I've watched it several times.
The mind is capable of so muchand when we can remember that
and tap into that, that is wherehealing can begin Truly Well it
(19:40):
is because you've seen it right.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
Other people can do it and other people have
achieved it.
That doesn't mean it'simpossible in any life.
Right we are.
You know, we are equipped witheverything that we need.
And again, even when you'resick or when there's nothing
wrong with your body, there'snothing wrong with it.
It's just responding to thesestressors.
(20:03):
It's trying to protect you andif you see that, like, you know
what my body's trying to protectme.
I love you.
What can I do to help you?
You know my mind is trying toprotect me.
I love you.
What can I do to help you?
This is and again, I get it, Iget it.
Dude, it is not easy whenyou're going through shit.
I completely get it.
(20:24):
However, this work that we talkabout, you want to do kind of
like on the daily and becomes ahabit, because when you are in
the thick of things, you canpull that tool.
You know what I mean.
Like you and I have been doingthis work for a long time.
So right now, even when we'rein the thick of things, you can
pull that tool.
You know what I mean.
Like you and I have been doingthis work for a long time.
So right now, even when we'rein the thick of it.
We know to you know what.
Step outside, take a walk.
You know what?
Let me do my EFT tapping.
(20:45):
We do know, like even, howangry we are.
We just whatever.
Like the emotion.
Speaker 2 (20:50):
We've got a million tools because we're using them
on a daily basis already.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
Exactly, and that's what we're here to tell you.
Yes, we understand it's painful, we understand it sucks.
However, it's time for you totake control, though I get it it
sucks, but the beauty is intaking control.
The beauty is in seeing thegood side of it, even the good
(21:15):
side of pain, Like pain.
What are you here to tell me?
What is the lesson?
Speaker 2 (21:21):
So I want to end if you're good with this, denise
with some questions to askyourself, because if you're like
, okay, it's all in my head, butwhere do I get started?
We touched on some thingsthroughout, but I've got some
questions for you to askyourself, and these can be
triggering or activating, asDenise says, and that's okay.
That's actually what we want,because that's going to evoke
(21:43):
some change or some legitreflection.
So first question what emotionshave you been swallowing and
how might they be showing upphysically?
And we have a whole episode onemotions.
I think it's episode five, sogo listen to that if you haven't
.
We have two about emotions.
We probably do now.
Yeah, yeah, we do.
If my gut could speak, whatwould it say?
(22:05):
What are you holding on to?
What are you not digesting?
Speaker 1 (22:09):
Ooh, I love that?
Speaker 2 (22:12):
Where do I keep repeating a thought loop that
reinforces my sickness?
Where do I keep repeating athought loop that reinforces my
sickness?
The next one is going to bevery triggering.
What benefits do I have fromstaying sick?
This one is a tough one.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
And be honest.
Be honest with yourself.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
Yes, I hate saying this, and the first time I heard
it from someone it's like whatare you talking about?
But the way that they explainedit don't ask me where I heard
it, guys, but the way that theyexplained it I was like, oh my
gosh, like there usually is abenefit from things, so that can
be a really powerful one tochew on.
And then, lastly, what wouldchange if I truly, truly
(22:59):
believed that my body was on myside, not that it was working
against me.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
And all those questions will be in the show
notes, cause I know by the and Iget it like you know you're you
, you want to go back to thequestions.
We'll put them in the shownotes that, um, I love.
All those questions are verytriggering, um, so let me tell
you and look, because you and Idon't believe in coincidences.
So episode five is masteringyour emotions and episode 10 is
(23:25):
how to improve upon emotionalintelligence.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
I don't know.
I feel like it's like so golisten to those, go listen to
those.
Speaker 1 (23:36):
And we probably you know, because I know that every
time we release something aboutemotions it gets a lot of
download.
You may want to kind of likebrush up on you know more
research to it and stuff likethat.
So maybe we can kind of plansomething like that about
emotions.
But, yes, journal on those.
Be truly honest with yourself,and that's what I tell myself
(23:58):
and I even tell my daughter,like when you, when you're lying
, when you're lying, you'relying to yourself and you're
being honest with yourself.
And at the end of the day, whatdoes louise hay say?
The best relationship you canhave is the one that you have
with yourself.
Amen to that.
So, journal on those.
Oh, and then we want to remindyou, since we have you on here,
(24:20):
that her and I are brewingsomething really cool.
We're kind of bringingsomething out of the vault.
Master your mind.
Uh, we loved working on thisprogram years ago and now we are
reworking on it very soon.
So stay tuned.
And what else?
Don't forget to download theself-love hypnosis from Kira.
(24:41):
I don't have anything free, butif you want, you can book a
self-love coaching session withme, and we'd love to hear from
you.
Leave us a feedback.
If there's an episode or topicthat you really want us to dig
into, or we said something liketopic that you really want us to
dig into, or we said somethinglike ooh, talk more about that,
(25:06):
we would love to hear from you.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
Yes, we thrive on this we do.
We want feedback.
No-transcript.
Welcome to the Heal Yourself Podcast, where we dive
deep into all things healing.
I'm Denise, a speech languagepathologist and a self-love
coach for adults and teens.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
And I'm Kira, a traditional naturopath and
functional nutritionist, andwe're here to guide you through
the transformative process ofhealing your body, mind and soul
From the latest in functionalmedicine, of healing your body,
mind and soul, from the latestin functional medicine to
nurturing your relationship withyourself, healing trauma and
even transforming your moneystory.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
we're here to empower you with the knowledge and
tools to create lasting change.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
So, whether you're looking to heal physically,
emotionally or spiritually, joinus as we explore the many paths
to wholeness and wellness.
Hello everyone, welcome back toanother episode.
Today, denise and I are talkingabout something that might make
(01:01):
you a little squirmish Becausewe're talking about the phrase
that so many of us have beentold it's all in your head.
We're not gaslighting you, so Iwant to offer a reframe.
As we're chatting today, Thinkabout what if this phrase was
true, but it was actually goodnews.
(01:22):
So a lot of times when we hearit's all in your head, we hear
like you're crazy, right, LikeDenise, were you ever told that?
Speaker 1 (01:32):
As far as symptoms, yeah, yeah, no, no, no, okay.
Oh, I mean I was told that well, because when I was going
through the migraine stuff andthings it was just like there's
this, is it Like there's nothingwe can?
Speaker 2 (01:46):
do yeah, it is in your head literally.
Speaker 1 (01:49):
Yeah, but then, um, but yeah, I just took mine on my
own.
No, no, no, I haven't.
I haven't had that experience,but I know a lot of people have.
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Yes, and that's the thing, like I think so many
women hear that, especially whenthey get into like
perimenopause and stuff startsshifting of, like yep, it's all
in your head.
I don't want to tell you Idon't see anything in your blood
work and it's like, well, no,that's not a helpful like.
Now you're making me feel likeI'm crazy, but that's the thing
I want to talk about it, asmaybe it is all in your head,
but not from the crazyperspective.
You know what I mean.
Like when we say something isin your head, I want you guys to
(02:28):
view it as the lens of likemind-body medicine.
Your thoughts, your beliefs,your stress, your emotion all of
those things are shaping yourbiology, so it is in your head.
Speaker 1 (02:41):
Yeah, so we are reframing it.
So.
So the terms that we're using,it's in your head, we're not
using it kind of like you'recrazy, you're not, you don't
know your body, you don't knowyourself.
It's like what are the thoughtsand or the things that you're
not digesting that are in yourhead causing those symptoms?
Right, is that the reframe inthere?
Speaker 2 (03:02):
Okay, I think so, because when I mean we're not
talking about like I have thisgenetic condition or my
chromosomes or this, like we'retalking about disease that
develops in life Okay, not a, Ihave seasonal allergies but like
you develop an autoimmunedisease, you develop chronic
(03:23):
migraines, like in yourcondition or IBS like me, like
something that starts to develop.
We don't want you to look at itas just a physical thing,
because it never is.
It's not just you were eating acrappy diet.
Does that play a role?
Yeah, lots of people are eatingcrappy diets.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Absolutely it does play a role, absolutely.
However, I do know that thereare a lot more.
You know deeper rooting intothat as well.
Yes, look at the diet, but yougot to look because I know that
you say that a lot and I reallylove.
What else in life are you notdigesting?
Speaker 2 (04:00):
I think it's important and that's the thing.
And this is where I see a flawin functional medicine.
I mean, you know, Denise, and Ithink a lot of our listeners
know, I'm very passionate aboutfunctional medicine because I
feel like it helped me.
It saved my husband's life.
I've seen so many amazingthings that it does.
But functional medicine hasvery much become run.
(04:21):
These expensive labs take thesesupplements.
If that doesn't work, you werejust on the wrong protocol, Like
let's tweak it.
But that's.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
Do you remember when we were in school together, what
did our mentor tell us whenwe're actually talking about the
supplements course?
Remember she said that don'treplace, as a practitioner,
don't replace the prescriptionwith a supplement link.
Right, and that's.
I know where you're coming frombecause I know that you see a
(04:51):
lot of clients and you see a lotof practitioners.
You know, as part of your air,as your field right now, and I
know that this how disheartenedyou are when you're seeing you
know, practitioners who areclaiming functional medicine,
but all they do is seeing.
You know practitioners who areclaiming functional medicine,
but all they do is giving youknow supplements.
However, I do want to ask thatquestion Do you think they're
doing that because the clientsare coming to them like wanting
(05:15):
to, they're desperate, they'relike we really want to heal.
I cannot take this whateveranymore.
What do you have for me that isdifferent?
And then the practitioner islooking like yeah, sure, I can
do all these things, but I got asupplement with supplements to
help them, but do you thinksometimes they lose that?
What are your thoughts?
Because you are in that world.
Speaker 2 (05:34):
I think it's twofold.
That's a good question, BecauseI think that in the
practitioner space I can't talk.
There's like people for themost part have good intentions,
right, they're getting into itbecause they want to help people
.
But if they're new, I look atyou and I when we were new, all
I knew how to do was give somesupplements.
(05:54):
Like I was really good at doingthat.
So I think there's that and Ido think that a lot of people
we've talked about this before.
I want to Amazon prime theirhealth and that is the number
one question that people come tome asking.
I literally got an email thismorning from someone that's like
do you treat this conditionwith supplements?
And I'm like no, I don't treatanything with supplement, Like
(06:15):
it goes deeper than that.
So people are asking forsupplements and that's fine.
But I think the disconnect isthere are some who will just do
supplements but they're notpaying attention to what's
happening in the mind.
You can't out supplement acrappy mindset.
If you hate your life, you havecrappy relationships, you don't
(06:36):
know how to manage stress,You're not eating well, you
don't get in the sun, Like itdoesn't matter.
Speaker 1 (06:41):
Well, it's not, like it's everything.
It's relationships, finances,career, hobbies.
You're not taking care ofyourself, you're not filling
your cup, like those really,really play a huge role.
Yes, diet, you know great, andsupplements and everything.
But in general, like if youlook at all the other areas,
like, let's say, your diet is onpoint and your supplements are
(07:03):
on point, however, everythingelse in your life is crumbling.
Okay, sure, sure, let me.
I mean the supplements aregoing to work absolutely and the
diet will work.
However, they only work to acertain point, right, and then
something, and then somethingelse is going to show up and and
then, you know, create evenmore problems.
So it is in your head, meaningthat your mind and your thoughts
(07:28):
do matter.
Speaker 2 (07:30):
Yeah, even if we go into the client that deals with
health challenges, let's use myhusband, right?
I've talked about himautoimmune hepatitis.
He has no symptoms.
He's in remission.
Things have been great, but inthe beginning I know he made
things worse because as soon ashe received that diagnosis he
(07:51):
went to oh my gosh, what's goingto happen to me?
Googling stuff, joiningFacebook groups.
He absolutely made hiscondition worse because he
wasn't looking at what was goingon in his head, right, he was
just focused on the diagnosisand you've said this before the
identification with thatdiagnosis, and not looking at
(08:13):
the fact that he hated his job.
Truly.
He was stressed out we had anewborn baby, he was not
sleeping well, he wasn't takingcare of himself in any of those
avenues and so, yeah, I don'tknow where we were going with
this.
I started rambling.
Speaker 1 (08:30):
I'm writing notes because this is how we plan our
episodes.
So Kira sends me a voicemessage.
This came to me, you know, andI'm like, okay, let's roll with
it.
I, we barely write notes and Ilook at the notes.
I'm not even looking at thenotes, so we are bouncing back
and forth.
So while you're talking, Iwrite notes.
So I love it.
So I love how you you said aboutreceiving a diagnosis.
(08:52):
I don't know if there arestatistics, but I know an,
either, of course, a masterclass, something or a podcast,
somewhere it could be gym, itcould be gym, I don't know
Something like, I think it isgym for and about like, you know
, when people receive thediagnosis, they'll be fine, and
then they'll go to the doctor todo some checkup and they
receive a diagnosis of anythingRight.
So I'm going to give like,whatever, any diagnosis diabetes
(09:13):
, cancer, whatever and theyimmediately, their condition
immediately, start worsening.
They were fine, they were finebefore, and then or like, or.
Or.
When somebody tells somebodythat, and that's what I don't
like, when people say, oh, theyhave six months, I'm like who
are you Like?
Speaker 2 (09:28):
are you like?
Do you have?
Are you God?
Speaker 1 (09:31):
I mean, I get it.
Sure, you understand the body.
However, I mean you might.
You might need to understandthe universe and see that
miracles happen all the time,however.
So there's something.
So that's definitely in yourhead, and what happens is we
start identifying, or peoplestart identifying with their
diagnosis.
Some people, unfortunately, useit as an excuse.
(09:52):
Right, and when you use that asan excuse, when you identify
with it, what are you doing?
You are giving your power awayto that thing that now is
controlling you.
Oh, I can't do this because Ihave an autoimmune.
Or you know, I didn't do thisbecause I have, I have an
autoimmune.
So you're just again pointingfinger, and this is to as the
victim mentality.
So, again, if you're listeningto anything and you're like, oh,
(10:16):
my goodness, I'm triggered, I'm, you said something that
offended me.
Please look within.
Please look within Because, atthe end of the day, even if you
do identify the diagnosis, like,say, you know what I do and,
however, I want to change that.
So this is the phrase where itis in your head that we're
reframing, that we're notgaslighting you.
(10:36):
We know that you have thesymptoms.
Reframing that we're notgaslighting you.
We know that you have thesymptoms.
However, it is time for you totake control, not the symptoms
or the diagnosis.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
Yeah, it's time for you to look at what's going on
in your head, because I feellike this is actually far more
empowering than being like, ohmy gosh, the labs aren't showing
me anything or the supplementsaren't working.
Or you know, I tweaked myprotocol and I've spent $20,000
on practitioners and nothing ischanging.
Okay, but if you change that to, it's all in my head.
You can start to look at what'smy mindset.
What are the stories I've beentelling myself for decades?
(11:13):
What unprocessed emotions ortrauma are living in me?
That is more empowering thanwell.
I need you to tell me what todo.
No, no, no, no, no.
You heal yourself.
Speaker 1 (11:24):
Exactly, you heal yourself, and I'm going to right
now talk from.
So it's not just in the healthworld, in any, or in the mental
health world or whatever.
At the end of the day, youdon't go to anybody to save you
or to fix you.
You go to somebody to assistyou, to help you, to guide you,
to give you more tools.
And that's literally what Itell the parents, because right
(11:44):
now, as you know, I'm seeing myprivate clients in their home
and it's amazing because theparents are there.
Maybe some SLPs may not like it.
I love it because they arethere.
I am teaching them, I'm coachingthem and I tell them listen, I
don't have the magic wand.
I teach you, I teach thestudents, I give you the
strategy I give the students.
(12:05):
I don't go with them.
I'm not with them every day.
It is your responsibility toalso do your part right.
So you're not even when you goto speech therapist to fix your
speech.
You're not going there for herto fix you.
You're going there for you tolearn from her or from him, and
(12:25):
then go and do it on your own aswell.
You can't just rely and I do seethe difference between the
clients who only rely on me.
I see the progress and I see theclients, and even when they are
three and four years old, andwhen I, when the parent, comes
and tells me I've been doingthis and this with the child,
and now that child, who'snonverbal is starting to point
to requests and starting toprotest by saying no and
(12:47):
throwing himself on the floor,well, guess what?
It's not just me, it's also you, mom or dad, you know, or mom
and dad.
So, in any area of your life,even when you go to a therapist
for mental health or whatever,the therapist is not there.
I mean, they give you advice,they give you tips, they give
you the tools, but it's up toyou.
So what we're saying is because, remember what do we say?
(13:08):
The first step to change isawareness and saying it is in my
head.
That doesn't mean that you aredismissing yourself, dismissing
your symptoms, dismissing yourpain, but you are taking control
of it and it means you'restarting to look at what's going
on in your head.
Speaker 2 (13:23):
Like I want to give a couple examples here.
If you're somebody that is achronic worrier, right, you
worry about everything,everything in the future,
everything that might go wrong.
What are we doing in the body?
Well, now we're raisingcortisol.
Well, chronically elevatedcortisol levels are going to
lead to gut issues, to hormoneissues, to immune suppression,
(13:43):
to fatigue.
It creates a ripple effect.
It's not the cortisol.
This is the thing that I have.
So many women come to me andthey're like I think I have
adrenal fatigue and I'm like,okay, but what led to that
adrenal fatigue?
It doesn't just happen.
Were you worrying?
Were you not holding boundaries?
Like what was going on?
The same thing with grief.
If you're someone that shovesthat grief down and you don't
(14:06):
properly grieve something or youcontinue to let it bug you
years later, right, like, let itgo, that's going to shut down
the vagus nerve.
Then we're going to deal withslow motility and constipation
and thyroid issues.
Like you can see how one teeny,tiny little emotion that runs
rogue is going to start tocreate some physiological issues
(14:26):
.
But we just look at thephysiological.
We don't look at the emotionswhere we should be saying, okay,
if this is happening and I havechronic constipation or
migraines or thyroid issues whathas the body been trying to
tell me throughout the yearsthat I am choosing to ignore?
Absolutely, absolutely.
(14:47):
And you said something, too, andthis triggers another thought.
But we were talking beforeabout identifying, and you said,
you know, identifying with thedisease.
Are you identifying with beingthe sick one?
Are you identifying withsomeone who is never going to
get better?
And I remember a quote, and Idon't remember if this was anita
morjani or someone else, but itwas the best way to heal is to
(15:11):
not need healing, if that makessense, meaning stop focusing on
why you're broken and startfocusing on how amazing the body
is, and that is not an easything to do.
I'm just going to say that I'mwell aware that, when you were
in the thick of feelingabsolutely awful, just going I
feel amazing is not going towork.
Speaker 1 (15:31):
No, no, I get it, I get it and it's okay to go
through those, I get it.
However, when you are, you knowwhen the pain is, you know, not
crazy, or when you feel better.
This is when you, when we'retalking to, we're looking within
and working on the emotions andstuff like that.
You want to do that.
When you are in a state of mindthat is not, and so if you have
(15:51):
an autoimmune and it's flaringup and you're in pain, we
completely get it.
You need to go through thatpain.
However, also, it's goingthrough the pain that's going to
heal, right, and I know youdon't want to hear it and I know
it sucks, I get it.
And, however, it's through thepain, kind of like through when
(16:13):
we talk about, through themessiness that you see.
It's through the pain that yousee the bright light and the
rainbows and the daisies.
Speaker 2 (16:20):
And when you start looking for the lessons within,
not just focusing on this is somiserable.
I'm never going to get better.
That's not going to help you.
Speaker 1 (16:29):
Yeah, and, like we said, everything is an
opportunity to learn.
Yeah, so I'm having thesesymptoms, they are this, this
and this, and I'm taking thesesupplements to help me.
I'm working with this, but whatelse?
What else can I, can I gothrough?
And I mean, you mentioned a lotwith the, with the cortisol and
all that stuff, right, andagain, you know, even the tiny
stress like you stressing, like,for example, like you can't
(16:51):
find parking, this is puttingyou in fight or flight, right.
So, get it right.
So being in the fight or flightis something that is beneficial
for our body.
If there's truly a short term,yeah too.
Yeah, and then we go back tohomeostasis, I get that, but can
you imagine your body being infight or flight literally all
the time over?
Speaker 2 (17:09):
stupid shit, and there are people like that.
Of course all over.
Speaker 1 (17:16):
Yeah, and we're not like offending anybody or
anything, but I mean the thingis just like if in the morning
let's say you're stressing overbeing late for work and then not
finding parking and this, sothese are like four, five, six,
seven instances in a row, that'sputting you in fight or flight.
So when you're in a flight orflight, everything shuts down
and eating right.
So let's say, everything shutdown because you're going.
(17:38):
You know, you're absolutelyfrantic in the morning, but then
you're still eating yourbreakfast while you're in the
pool.
What is that doing to your body?
Over time?
Your body can only take so much, right?
Yes, it is.
You know it is made to healitself, you know.
But you got to also supplementit with not just supplements
that you swallow.
You got to supplement it withlove, with the compassion, with
(17:59):
the grace, with theunderstanding, with the
forgiveness, with, you know,saying, yes, this thing happened
in the past, but the past isdone and over with.
What else can I do now?
There's the meditation that I dopretty much every morning, but
I have not done it in two weeks,but I did it today by Joe
Dispenza, and you know he talksabout.
(18:21):
Shoot, I forgot what I wassaying.
But anyway, this is real life,guys.
Okay, listen to it.
It's the morning one by JoeDispenza, but darn it, now I
have to go back and listen, so Iknow what I was trying to say,
but anyway I love it becauseit's um, he talks a lot about
also forgetting not forgetting,like if you want to change you,
(18:44):
it's it's important also to notidentify with your familiar self
and make decisions that arealigned with the self that you
want to be Love that.
Speaker 2 (18:56):
Um.
And one other thing I want tosay.
If our brain can create thesesymptoms right and we know that
it can, but it's based inresearch, it's not just Denise
and I pulling shit out of ourass, it's a thing it can also
uncreate it.
So the same mind that held ontothe trauma can be the tool for
release, for regulation, forhealing.
(19:16):
And if you guys have notwatched the documentary Heal, I
literally tell this to all of myclients.
The documentary Heal was reallyprofound for me.
I saw it years ago.
I've watched it several times.
The mind is capable of so muchand when we can remember that
and tap into that, that is wherehealing can begin Truly Well it
(19:40):
is because you've seen it right.
Speaker 1 (19:42):
Other people can do it and other people have
achieved it.
That doesn't mean it'simpossible in any life.
Right we are.
You know, we are equipped witheverything that we need.
And again, even when you'resick or when there's nothing
wrong with your body, there'snothing wrong with it.
It's just responding to thesestressors.
(20:03):
It's trying to protect you andif you see that, like, you know
what my body's trying to protectme.
I love you.
What can I do to help you?
You know my mind is trying toprotect me.
I love you.
What can I do to help you?
This is and again, I get it, Iget it.
Dude, it is not easy whenyou're going through shit.
I completely get it.
(20:24):
However, this work that we talkabout, you want to do kind of
like on the daily and becomes ahabit, because when you are in
the thick of things, you canpull that tool.
You know what I mean.
Like you and I have been doingthis work for a long time.
So right now, even when we'rein the thick of things, you can
pull that tool.
You know what I mean.
Like you and I have been doingthis work for a long time.
So right now, even when we'rein the thick of it.
We know to you know what.
Step outside, take a walk.
You know what?
Let me do my EFT tapping.
(20:45):
We do know, like even, howangry we are.
We just whatever.
Like the emotion.
Speaker 2 (20:50):
We've got a million tools because we're using them
on a daily basis already.
Speaker 1 (20:55):
Exactly, and that's what we're here to tell you.
Yes, we understand it's painful, we understand it sucks.
However, it's time for you totake control, though I get it it
sucks, but the beauty is intaking control.
The beauty is in seeing thegood side of it, even the good
(21:15):
side of pain, Like pain.
What are you here to tell me?
What is the lesson?
Speaker 2 (21:21):
So I want to end if you're good with this, denise
with some questions to askyourself, because if you're like
, okay, it's all in my head, butwhere do I get started?
We touched on some thingsthroughout, but I've got some
questions for you to askyourself, and these can be
triggering or activating, asDenise says, and that's okay.
That's actually what we want,because that's going to evoke
(21:43):
some change or some legitreflection.
So first question what emotionshave you been swallowing and
how might they be showing upphysically?
And we have a whole episode onemotions.
I think it's episode five, sogo listen to that if you haven't
.
We have two about emotions.
We probably do now.
Yeah, yeah, we do.
If my gut could speak, whatwould it say?
(22:05):
What are you holding on to?
What are you not digesting?
Speaker 1 (22:09):
Ooh, I love that?
Speaker 2 (22:12):
Where do I keep repeating a thought loop that
reinforces my sickness?
Where do I keep repeating athought loop that reinforces my
sickness?
The next one is going to bevery triggering.
What benefits do I have fromstaying sick?
This one is a tough one.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
And be honest.
Be honest with yourself.
Speaker 2 (22:36):
Yes, I hate saying this, and the first time I heard
it from someone it's like whatare you talking about?
But the way that they explainedit don't ask me where I heard
it, guys, but the way that theyexplained it I was like, oh my
gosh, like there usually is abenefit from things, so that can
be a really powerful one tochew on.
And then, lastly, what wouldchange if I truly, truly
(22:59):
believed that my body was on myside, not that it was working
against me.
Speaker 1 (23:03):
And all those questions will be in the show
notes, cause I know by the and Iget it like you know you're you
, you want to go back to thequestions.
We'll put them in the shownotes that, um, I love.
All those questions are verytriggering, um, so let me tell
you and look, because you and Idon't believe in coincidences.
So episode five is masteringyour emotions and episode 10 is
(23:25):
how to improve upon emotionalintelligence.
Speaker 2 (23:29):
I don't know.
I feel like it's like so golisten to those, go listen to
those.
Speaker 1 (23:36):
And we probably you know, because I know that every
time we release something aboutemotions it gets a lot of
download.
You may want to kind of likebrush up on you know more
research to it and stuff likethat.
So maybe we can kind of plansomething like that about
emotions.
But, yes, journal on those.
Be truly honest with yourself,and that's what I tell myself
(23:58):
and I even tell my daughter,like when you, when you're lying
, when you're lying, you'relying to yourself and you're
being honest with yourself.
And at the end of the day, whatdoes louise hay say?
The best relationship you canhave is the one that you have
with yourself.
Amen to that.
So, journal on those.
Oh, and then we want to remindyou, since we have you on here,
(24:20):
that her and I are brewingsomething really cool.
We're kind of bringingsomething out of the vault.
Master your mind.
Uh, we loved working on thisprogram years ago and now we are
reworking on it very soon.
So stay tuned.
And what else?
Don't forget to download theself-love hypnosis from Kira.
(24:41):
I don't have anything free, butif you want, you can book a
self-love coaching session withme, and we'd love to hear from
you.
Leave us a feedback.
If there's an episode or topicthat you really want us to dig
into, or we said something liketopic that you really want us to
dig into, or we said somethinglike ooh, talk more about that,
(25:06):
we would love to hear from you.
Speaker 2 (25:07):
Yes, we thrive on this we do.
We want feedback.
No-transcript.
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Does hearing about a true crime case always leave you scouring the internet for the truth behind the story? Dive into your next mystery with Crime Junkie. Every Monday, join your host Ashley Flowers as she unravels all the details of infamous and underreported true crime cases with her best friend Brit Prawat. From cold cases to missing persons and heroes in our community who seek justice, Crime Junkie is your destination for theories and stories you won’t hear anywhere else. Whether you're a seasoned true crime enthusiast or new to the genre, you'll find yourself on the edge of your seat awaiting a new episode every Monday. If you can never get enough true crime... Congratulations, you’ve found your people. Follow to join a community of Crime Junkies! Crime Junkie is presented by audiochuck Media Company.
The Breakfast Club
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy, Jess Hilarious, And Charlamagne Tha God!