June 12, 2025 • 18 mins
If your mind feels hijacked by thoughts that spiral out of control, stealing your peace and leaving you exhausted, you're not alone. "Why can't I shut my brain off" ranks as the #1 Google search related to mental overload.
In this conversation, Denise and Kira tackle the universal challenge of runaway thoughts and overthinking. Drawing from personal experiences (including their own recent thought spirals), they reveal that even as healing practitioners, they still face these mental battles. The difference? They've developed effective strategies to witness the chaos without being consumed by it.
Discover practical tools you can implement immediately, like speaking thoughts aloud to reveal their irrationality, offering your mind three potential solutions to satisfy its protective instincts, and using humor to create perspective. Learn why understanding your emotional triggers creates freedom and how getting into your body through grounding practices can interrupt negative thought patterns.
Follow us on Instagram, leave a review, and share your experiences – we'd love to hear what resonates with you!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:04):
Welcome to the Heal Yourself Podcast, where we dive
deep into all things healing.
I'm Denise, a speech andlanguage pathologist and a
self-love coach for adults andteens.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
And I'm Kira, a traditional naturopath and
functional nutritionist, andwe're here to guide you through
the transformative process ofhealing your body, mind and soul
From the latest in functionalmedicine, of healing your body,
mind and soul, from the latestin functional medicine to
nurturing your relationship withyourself, healing trauma and
even transforming your moneystory.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
we're here to empower you with the knowledge and
tools to create lasting change.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
So, whether you're looking to heal physically,
emotionally or spiritually, joinus as we explore the many paths
to wholeness and wellness.
Hey guys, welcome back toanother episode of Heal Yourself
Podcast, and today Denise and Iare talking about thoughts,
which we've talked about,thoughts before.
(01:00):
I'm sure We've talked aboutthoughts, emotions, all the
things, and you guys know we'reoften inspired by things
happening around us, and Deniseand I have been having a lot of
thoughts lately.
Well, and I'm laughing becauseit's like it's not just thoughts
, it's the idea of what happenswhen I can't shut my brain off
and what happens when thesethoughts are like going rogue,
(01:22):
right, we're getting thoughtsthat are not serving us not
necessarily intrusive, but theycould be but overthinking all of
those things.
And so, yeah, we thought thiswould be a good episode, because
I know I've got clients outthere who, you know, get the
hijacked thoughts and they'relike how do I get things back on
track?
So that's what we want to talkabout.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
I mean we all do.
I was hijacked by my thoughtson Sunday Exactly, and and it
doesn't end, and that's what we,you know, we can't.
We people think like, oh, youknow, once you're like really
advancing your journey orwhatever, like these thoughts
are just going to disappear, orthese emotions, they don't,
they're still there.
It's just you have a differentstrategy to use.
(02:03):
So I saw them, you know,spiraling, and another strategy
right now I use is speaking outloud about them.
So I was saying my thoughts outloud and what led to another to
another, and I was doing itwith my husband, obviously,
because you know, I, you can doit by yourself, but we're just
sitting outside.
And then I noticed howirrational my thoughts sound out
(02:25):
loud and and I was like, wait aminute, that is weird.
And then this is when I, youknow, question your question.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
You're like wait a minute, this is a story that I
am creating yeah, so did youknow that the number one google
search around like mentaloverload is why can't I shut my
brain off?
Speaker 1 (02:42):
No, I thought that was interesting.
But I hear a lot of people sayyou know, I can't shut my brain
off.
My brain is constantly on andI'm like it's not like you want
to shut it off, like obviouslyyou don't want to die.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
But you've got to learn, like.
The thing is is we havethoughts, and I don't remember
what the number is.
We looked it up years ago,right, it was like, yeah, it's
an insane amount of thoughtsthat run through your head every
day.
We can't get rid of them.
But the thing is is you've gotto figure out if those thoughts
are serving you, and so we allhave that mental chatter.
(03:18):
That's like going, going, going.
Like oh, I'm going down thisspiral and I'm trying to
meditate and I'm thinking aboutwhat I'm cooking for dinner
tonight, and then I'm thinkingabout that and it leads to, well
, oh my gosh, what, what am Ihaving for lunch today?
Like it can keep going.
It's normal, right, like partof our human experience is
having these thoughts andthoughts that run rogue and we
don't know how to shut them off.
(03:38):
But, like Denise said, we haveto learn how to witness this
chaos and then not shut it offbut turn it down.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
I want to add that when our mind is overthinking
and it's overracing and it's notlike the term not shutting off
or what it's, because you'reremember, your subconscious is
constantly trying to protect you, right?
It's constantly trying to keepyou safe or whatever from your
thoughts sometimes.
So, um, and then what it needs?
Sometimes it just needs threesolutions.
(04:08):
You don't have to write themdown, you don't have to, like,
you know, maybe just think aboutthem.
You don't even have to do them,but you're giving your minds.
I, I learned this from somebodyand I've been utilizing it and
even though sometimes I'm likeI'm just gonna suggest three
solutions and the solution,sometimes I'm like I, I'm just
going to suggest three solutionsand the solution, sometimes I'm
like I'm not doing it, but atleast I gave my subconscious
like, hey, I'm giving you somesolutions.
(04:29):
You know we have some autonomyright now, right?
So, whatever you're constantlythinking or overthinking or
obsessive thinking is happening,you definitely want to,
whatever you're thinking about,give it at least three solutions
, whether write them down or,you know, kind of pin them in
your mind and then just kind ofwhether you carry them or not,
(04:50):
but at least you're giving yourmind something to do, like
you're kind of giving it thesafety, like, hey, I hear you, I
know you're trying to protectme, here's a solution.
And sometimes the solutions aresilly, like I'm like what?
That's a stupid solution.
But at least, and also addhumor to it.
I cannot stress enough, likeadding the humor.
(05:11):
Especially when you're talkingwith yourself about your
thoughts.
You're like wait a minute, thatwas dumb or like you know, or
that was not, that did not serveme, or blah, blah, blah yeah,
well, and the other piece aroundthat, too, is like you don't
always want to just turn thingspositive, right?
Speaker 2 (05:24):
If you're thinking about X, y, z, we're not saying
that every time.
Just make it something positive, smile through it Like no,
that's not healthy either, butit's.
Is this thought serving meright now and if not, how can I
change it?
You don't have to go from A toZ.
It could be.
I'm thinking.
I'm just trying to think of ascenario.
I'm going to actually give anexample.
(05:45):
So, speaking to a client todaywho I'll be curious if she
listens to this episode becauseit was prime timey, but she was
doing something in like amindset lesson that I have for
my clients, and she was like Iwas listening to you and you're
saying I want you to write aletter to yourself, as if you're
already healed, you no longerhave symptoms, and she goes.
(06:07):
I realized as I started doingthat she said she started crying
because, as much as she wantsto feel healthy, she said she
does not believe it and thethoughts that are running
through her mind all day are I'mbroken, I'm never going to get
better.
I've been dealing with thisforever and even just having
that awareness has allowed herto start to make shifts.
(06:28):
And that's what we spoke about.
And you and I say it all thetime, denise it's awareness.
Having that awareness of oh mygosh, these are the thoughts
that are running through my mind.
Next time you have that thoughtof I'm broken, I'm never going
to get better, yada, yada, yada,you can pause and say this is
not true, and then you choosewhat that next thought is.
It doesn't mean, oh my gosh,I'm healed.
(06:48):
It's amazing, that'sunrealistic, but it could be
something as simple as it's okay, I'm on my healing journey.
That is a much better thoughtthan I'm broken.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
Absolutely, absolutely.
And it's more a healing thought.
Right, it's a healing thoughtand I love what you added about
it's not, it's not an accordionto neighbors, and the thoughts
are just and you're not going togo from feeling down or
negative to immediately changingit, absolutely.
So I also want to add abouttriggers right, because
sometimes what happens we hearsomething, that that thing that
(07:23):
someone says or an actionsomeone does triggers us and it
spirals our thoughts, right?
So another thing that we wantyou to, we want to add how the
you know kira added theawareness piece is also
understanding your the triggers,right, you know, taking that,
like okay, kira said somethingand then that triggered me, but
(07:45):
why did it trigger me?
Like what did it, you know?
And then just kind of likejournal about that and you know,
kind of like look deeper inthat, and you can always say I
am being triggered right now bythis.
However, again, I'm not broken,I'm not this, I am on my healing
journey or I'm looking forwardto more.
(08:06):
So it's kind of like, keep itneutral and more to like you are
on that journey because we'reall, or name the emotion.
I mean, I'm always saying youknow, I'm angry at this moment,
because my boundaries werecrossed and I just need time to,
you know, get back to myhomeostasis.
So that's why sometimes I'mtelling those thoughts.
I go to my mirror.
It's just have these tools inyour toolbox and utilize them on
(08:28):
the daily.
So when the trigger happens,when the thoughts happen, guess
what?
You have at least one strategyto use.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
Yeah, and that's the thing.
We're always going to deal withthis.
I can't say that enough.
Like I was leaving a message toDenise this week because my
thoughts were running rogue andit's like, as I was saying it to
her, I was laughing too,because I'm like I know, I
already know this, but I need toalso hear it from you.
So don't forget that you canrely on other people to help you
(08:58):
through times too.
So if your thoughts are goingto a negative place and you're
struggling to pull yourself backin, even if you have all those
tools, it's okay to phone afriend.
And you're struggling to pullyourself back in, even if you
have all those tools, it's okayto phone a friend and say I need
you to talk me off the ledge,not not literally.
Please don't get to that, gosee.
But like you know stupid littlethings and that's what I was
messaging denise it's like Iknow these thoughts are not
(09:19):
serving me and I know how toshift them, but I almost want to
just hear it from anotherperson.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
Because we want validation sometimes and it's
important to have that supportsystem.
So I'm glad that you mentionedthat, like have somebody that
you trust, that you can, youknow, kind of like remind me of
my greatness, right?
And another thing that I battlewith a lot, with my thought,
especially right now remember,because I started my speech
business and things are takingoff.
Why didn't I do it earlier?
(09:45):
Why did it so right now?
We that I started my speechbusiness and things are taking
off.
Why didn't I do it earlier?
Why did it so right now?
We get the regret thoughts andthis, but also understand that
you are where you need to be atthis moment, right.
So had I started five years ago, I probably wouldn't you know
what you know.
Like, it's just this I neededto be in this moment I needed.
So, like always we've mentionedthis viewing your life
experiences is just that lifeexperiences.
(10:07):
And stop defining your lifebased on a life situation,
because a life situation or lifeexperience, according to
Eckhart Tolle, you know it'sjust, it's fading, like it's not
gonna.
This, too shall pass, it's notgonna stay forever.
So that's why do not base yourvalue and your beauty upon those
life experiences.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
So yeah, yeah, well, and I think the other thing I
want to say about this is it isa practice.
Everything on your healingjourney is a practice.
So think of it as like youbrush your teeth.
I mean, yeah, it's somethingthat you do every day, right?
Maybe you don't ride a bikeevery day, but brushing your
teeth, we'll use that one.
Everybody should be brushingtheir teeth every single day,
(10:50):
right?
Denise is making a face Shouldbe brushing your teeth every day
.
It is a practice.
It's not that you're actuallypracticing it you know how to do
it already, but it's somethingthat you do every day.
This is something that you haveto do every day.
Check in with your thoughts,check in with what am I thinking
right now?
What's running through my mind?
(11:13):
Do I need to shift that?
Are these thoughts serving me?
Because, like Denise said, wehave an insane amount of
thoughts that run through ourhead every day, but most of us
do not have that awareness.
We have no idea what's going onup there.
You have to pause yourself.
You have to stop and thinkthrough those thoughts, right?
You have to stop and listen towhat's going on in that head of
yours.
What's the mind chatter?
That's a practice.
(11:34):
That's a daily thing.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
It is a daily thing and you got to break the pattern
.
If you are the type of personwho keeps pushing through and
pushing through and pushingthrough and not taking that
pause, guess what?
Those thoughts, when you'repushing through and not taking
the pause to recalibrate, aregoing to run even more rogue and
they're going to even, you know, create more chatter and more,
(11:57):
you know, negative thoughts orwhatever.
So it's really important topractice the feeling also in
your body.
I want to add right.
So also feel it in your body.
So, whatever those emotions are, you want to get your body safe
.
Right?
You want to teach your bodyagain that you are safe.
Yes, I may be feeling angry, butyou are safe, right.
So sometimes I even teach mybody again to feel that anger,
(12:20):
but with safety, instead ofhaving to, like you know, tense
and be anxious and cause healthissues.
So can also be aware of howyour body is feeling with
emotions, how your body feelingwith triggers.
These are all of your simplesigns.
Right, when we are changing ourhealth habits, we say listen to
your body.
Same thing Listen to your body,listen to those thoughts and
(12:43):
guide them differently Because,remember, at the end of the day,
you are in control.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
Yeah Well, and I think there's a distinction too
of you're in control to anextent, but I think you have to
remind yourself too that you'realso an observer.
Right, I'm not going to forcethis thought to change if it
keeps coming back in my mind.
So I'm observing it.
It's okay, I'm going to makepeace with a thought, but then
(13:09):
I'm going to start to shift intoother thoughts and again, this
is where it becomes a practice,and I love what Denise said
getting into your body, doinghand on your heart, doing some
tapping, put your feet in theearth, like, go out there and
ground, do some breath work, gofor a walk, like things like
that.
If you continue to notice we'renot talking about one time.
(13:30):
Today I had a thought that Iwas ugly.
You know what I mean.
Like the one time, okay, not abig deal, but the thought that
goes through every day.
Like you start to notice apattern of thoughts.
Or, like my client said, Inoticed throughout the day.
When I get a symptom, Iimmediately go into I'm broken,
I'm never going to get betterand you can spiral.
That's what we're talking about.
(13:51):
Then you start to change, youobserve, you start to change,
you do something moving to startto.
You know, get yourself out ofthat state.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
Yeah, but we can't stress enough to establish that
practice, because once you're inthat spiraling mode, it's hard,
right Hard to get you back.
You're going to, you know, loseit.
So it's really important tohave that practice, because once
you have that practice, I don'twant to say it's easier, but
it's simpler to use your tools.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
Yeah, yeah, and it's going to take time because again
it goes back to coachingyourself.
You've got to start to havethat internal conversation of is
this thought serving me rightnow?
Is this thought true?
Is this thought even mine?
Or is it coming from things Iwas told in childhood by a
spouse, by a friend?
Whatever you have to learn tocoach yourself, you are going to
(14:48):
be your own best coach.
Yep, Do we have any?
She's like yep, I love it.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
We're keeping it, you know, sweet and short.
I know we may not, buteverything that we said can be
tools for you to utilize thequestions that we're asking can
be, you know, digging deeper,but this is on the daily, right,
like it is on the daily, whereyou practice.
You got to just, you know, havethe intention to do something
(15:24):
on the daily.
I know I'm like I just lost mythought that I'm trying to think
what the takeaways are.
It's just journal the questions, practice daily, like you know,
even coach yourself on thedaily.
Talk to yourself in the car.
I talk to myself in the car allthe time because you know no
one thinks you're crazy becausenow people talk on the Bluetooth
, right, you know, coachyourself in the car when you're
(15:45):
by yourself, like if you don'twant to do it.
You know if you're busy at thehouse or at work or something,
but it's really important toreally get into that practice
and, you know, be your own bestfriend and do it right now.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
If you're like, oh, I'm not going to do that when
I'm spiraling, we're notexpecting that Right now, pause
this episode and think what arethe thoughts running through
your mind in this moment?
And then have that conversationwith yourself out loud or in
your head, of what am I thinkingright now?
Are these serving me, are theymine?
And allow yourself to see whereit goes.
This is the practice right nowis pausing and doing it in this
(16:23):
moment.
The thoughts might be servingyou and that is totally okay,
but this is creating theawareness.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
Absolutely, absolutely.
And when you create theawareness, you increase the
awareness, and this is when thechange starts happening.
Change is not going to happenmagically.
Change is going to happenlittle by little, with practice,
with commitment and withintention.
Right, so it's somethingcontinuous.
It's not going to, oh, I'mgoing to do it for a few months
and stop.
No, it's the same thing likehealthy eating, right, you don't
(16:49):
just eat healthy for two months, other two, right?
So it's really important justto kind of I don't want to
control, but take over thoughtstype of thing, right, so, like
sure, you know, observe them andlet them go.
It kind of.
Maybe think about them as waves, right, like they go, their
(17:09):
waves.
They come and they go, and theones that you like, you can keep
, the ones that sometimesprobably like I don't mean I
don't want to say a percentage,but a lot of the ones that you
don't like they may not be yours, they may be things that are
hard when you are five years oldand you just adopted it as a
freaking value and it's likewhat?
No, that's not, or it could bepart of your culture, right?
Speaker 2 (17:29):
so, like you know, yeah, I think this is it.
Yeah, share this episode.
Yes, share the episode, guys.
We're growing and we appreciateit so much.
Like denise and I are alwayslooking, we're like we're over
here, like we want to continueto grow.
So please share the podcastwith a friend posted on social
(17:50):
media.
Tag us, reach out if you havequestions or episodes you want
to hear about.
But we really want to grow this.
We want to serve more people,so help us get it out there.
Thank you, thank you.
We'll see you on the nextepisode, guys.
Welcome to the Heal Yourself Podcast, where we dive
deep into all things healing.
I'm Denise, a speech andlanguage pathologist and a
self-love coach for adults andteens.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
And I'm Kira, a traditional naturopath and
functional nutritionist, andwe're here to guide you through
the transformative process ofhealing your body, mind and soul
From the latest in functionalmedicine, of healing your body,
mind and soul, from the latestin functional medicine to
nurturing your relationship withyourself, healing trauma and
even transforming your moneystory.
Speaker 1 (00:33):
we're here to empower you with the knowledge and
tools to create lasting change.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
So, whether you're looking to heal physically,
emotionally or spiritually, joinus as we explore the many paths
to wholeness and wellness.
Hey guys, welcome back toanother episode of Heal Yourself
Podcast, and today Denise and Iare talking about thoughts,
which we've talked about,thoughts before.
(01:00):
I'm sure We've talked aboutthoughts, emotions, all the
things, and you guys know we'reoften inspired by things
happening around us, and Deniseand I have been having a lot of
thoughts lately.
Well, and I'm laughing becauseit's like it's not just thoughts
, it's the idea of what happenswhen I can't shut my brain off
and what happens when thesethoughts are like going rogue,
(01:22):
right, we're getting thoughtsthat are not serving us not
necessarily intrusive, but theycould be but overthinking all of
those things.
And so, yeah, we thought thiswould be a good episode, because
I know I've got clients outthere who, you know, get the
hijacked thoughts and they'relike how do I get things back on
track?
So that's what we want to talkabout.
Speaker 1 (01:43):
I mean we all do.
I was hijacked by my thoughtson Sunday Exactly, and and it
doesn't end, and that's what we,you know, we can't.
We people think like, oh, youknow, once you're like really
advancing your journey orwhatever, like these thoughts
are just going to disappear, orthese emotions, they don't,
they're still there.
It's just you have a differentstrategy to use.
(02:03):
So I saw them, you know,spiraling, and another strategy
right now I use is speaking outloud about them.
So I was saying my thoughts outloud and what led to another to
another, and I was doing itwith my husband, obviously,
because you know, I, you can doit by yourself, but we're just
sitting outside.
And then I noticed howirrational my thoughts sound out
(02:25):
loud and and I was like, wait aminute, that is weird.
And then this is when I, youknow, question your question.
Speaker 2 (02:31):
You're like wait a minute, this is a story that I
am creating yeah, so did youknow that the number one google
search around like mentaloverload is why can't I shut my
brain off?
Speaker 1 (02:42):
No, I thought that was interesting.
But I hear a lot of people sayyou know, I can't shut my brain
off.
My brain is constantly on andI'm like it's not like you want
to shut it off, like obviouslyyou don't want to die.
Speaker 2 (02:57):
But you've got to learn, like.
The thing is is we havethoughts, and I don't remember
what the number is.
We looked it up years ago,right, it was like, yeah, it's
an insane amount of thoughtsthat run through your head every
day.
We can't get rid of them.
But the thing is is you've gotto figure out if those thoughts
are serving you, and so we allhave that mental chatter.
(03:18):
That's like going, going, going.
Like oh, I'm going down thisspiral and I'm trying to
meditate and I'm thinking aboutwhat I'm cooking for dinner
tonight, and then I'm thinkingabout that and it leads to, well
, oh my gosh, what, what am Ihaving for lunch today?
Like it can keep going.
It's normal, right, like partof our human experience is
having these thoughts andthoughts that run rogue and we
don't know how to shut them off.
(03:38):
But, like Denise said, we haveto learn how to witness this
chaos and then not shut it offbut turn it down.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
I want to add that when our mind is overthinking
and it's overracing and it's notlike the term not shutting off
or what it's, because you'reremember, your subconscious is
constantly trying to protect you, right?
It's constantly trying to keepyou safe or whatever from your
thoughts sometimes.
So, um, and then what it needs?
Sometimes it just needs threesolutions.
(04:08):
You don't have to write themdown, you don't have to, like,
you know, maybe just think aboutthem.
You don't even have to do them,but you're giving your minds.
I, I learned this from somebodyand I've been utilizing it and
even though sometimes I'm likeI'm just gonna suggest three
solutions and the solution,sometimes I'm like I, I'm just
going to suggest three solutionsand the solution, sometimes I'm
like I'm not doing it, but atleast I gave my subconscious
like, hey, I'm giving you somesolutions.
(04:29):
You know we have some autonomyright now, right?
So, whatever you're constantlythinking or overthinking or
obsessive thinking is happening,you definitely want to,
whatever you're thinking about,give it at least three solutions
, whether write them down or,you know, kind of pin them in
your mind and then just kind ofwhether you carry them or not,
(04:50):
but at least you're giving yourmind something to do, like
you're kind of giving it thesafety, like, hey, I hear you, I
know you're trying to protectme, here's a solution.
And sometimes the solutions aresilly, like I'm like what?
That's a stupid solution.
But at least, and also addhumor to it.
I cannot stress enough, likeadding the humor.
(05:11):
Especially when you're talkingwith yourself about your
thoughts.
You're like wait a minute, thatwas dumb or like you know, or
that was not, that did not serveme, or blah, blah, blah yeah,
well, and the other piece aroundthat, too, is like you don't
always want to just turn thingspositive, right?
Speaker 2 (05:24):
If you're thinking about X, y, z, we're not saying
that every time.
Just make it something positive, smile through it Like no,
that's not healthy either, butit's.
Is this thought serving meright now and if not, how can I
change it?
You don't have to go from A toZ.
It could be.
I'm thinking.
I'm just trying to think of ascenario.
I'm going to actually give anexample.
(05:45):
So, speaking to a client todaywho I'll be curious if she
listens to this episode becauseit was prime timey, but she was
doing something in like amindset lesson that I have for
my clients, and she was like Iwas listening to you and you're
saying I want you to write aletter to yourself, as if you're
already healed, you no longerhave symptoms, and she goes.
(06:07):
I realized as I started doingthat she said she started crying
because, as much as she wantsto feel healthy, she said she
does not believe it and thethoughts that are running
through her mind all day are I'mbroken, I'm never going to get
better.
I've been dealing with thisforever and even just having
that awareness has allowed herto start to make shifts.
(06:28):
And that's what we spoke about.
And you and I say it all thetime, denise it's awareness.
Having that awareness of oh mygosh, these are the thoughts
that are running through my mind.
Next time you have that thoughtof I'm broken, I'm never going
to get better, yada, yada, yada,you can pause and say this is
not true, and then you choosewhat that next thought is.
It doesn't mean, oh my gosh,I'm healed.
(06:48):
It's amazing, that'sunrealistic, but it could be
something as simple as it's okay, I'm on my healing journey.
That is a much better thoughtthan I'm broken.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
Absolutely, absolutely.
And it's more a healing thought.
Right, it's a healing thoughtand I love what you added about
it's not, it's not an accordionto neighbors, and the thoughts
are just and you're not going togo from feeling down or
negative to immediately changingit, absolutely.
So I also want to add abouttriggers right, because
sometimes what happens we hearsomething, that that thing that
(07:23):
someone says or an actionsomeone does triggers us and it
spirals our thoughts, right?
So another thing that we wantyou to, we want to add how the
you know kira added theawareness piece is also
understanding your the triggers,right, you know, taking that,
like okay, kira said somethingand then that triggered me, but
(07:45):
why did it trigger me?
Like what did it, you know?
And then just kind of likejournal about that and you know,
kind of like look deeper inthat, and you can always say I
am being triggered right now bythis.
However, again, I'm not broken,I'm not this, I am on my healing
journey or I'm looking forwardto more.
(08:06):
So it's kind of like, keep itneutral and more to like you are
on that journey because we'reall, or name the emotion.
I mean, I'm always saying youknow, I'm angry at this moment,
because my boundaries werecrossed and I just need time to,
you know, get back to myhomeostasis.
So that's why sometimes I'mtelling those thoughts.
I go to my mirror.
It's just have these tools inyour toolbox and utilize them on
(08:28):
the daily.
So when the trigger happens,when the thoughts happen, guess
what?
You have at least one strategyto use.
Speaker 2 (08:35):
Yeah, and that's the thing.
We're always going to deal withthis.
I can't say that enough.
Like I was leaving a message toDenise this week because my
thoughts were running rogue andit's like, as I was saying it to
her, I was laughing too,because I'm like I know, I
already know this, but I need toalso hear it from you.
So don't forget that you canrely on other people to help you
(08:58):
through times too.
So if your thoughts are goingto a negative place and you're
struggling to pull yourself backin, even if you have all those
tools, it's okay to phone afriend.
And you're struggling to pullyourself back in, even if you
have all those tools, it's okayto phone a friend and say I need
you to talk me off the ledge,not not literally.
Please don't get to that, gosee.
But like you know stupid littlethings and that's what I was
messaging denise it's like Iknow these thoughts are not
(09:19):
serving me and I know how toshift them, but I almost want to
just hear it from anotherperson.
Speaker 1 (09:24):
Because we want validation sometimes and it's
important to have that supportsystem.
So I'm glad that you mentionedthat, like have somebody that
you trust, that you can, youknow, kind of like remind me of
my greatness, right?
And another thing that I battlewith a lot, with my thought,
especially right now remember,because I started my speech
business and things are takingoff.
Why didn't I do it earlier?
(09:45):
Why did it so right now?
We that I started my speechbusiness and things are taking
off.
Why didn't I do it earlier?
Why did it so right now?
We get the regret thoughts andthis, but also understand that
you are where you need to be atthis moment, right.
So had I started five years ago, I probably wouldn't you know
what you know.
Like, it's just this I neededto be in this moment I needed.
So, like always we've mentionedthis viewing your life
experiences is just that lifeexperiences.
(10:07):
And stop defining your lifebased on a life situation,
because a life situation or lifeexperience, according to
Eckhart Tolle, you know it'sjust, it's fading, like it's not
gonna.
This, too shall pass, it's notgonna stay forever.
So that's why do not base yourvalue and your beauty upon those
life experiences.
Speaker 2 (10:27):
So yeah, yeah, well, and I think the other thing I
want to say about this is it isa practice.
Everything on your healingjourney is a practice.
So think of it as like youbrush your teeth.
I mean, yeah, it's somethingthat you do every day, right?
Maybe you don't ride a bikeevery day, but brushing your
teeth, we'll use that one.
Everybody should be brushingtheir teeth every single day,
(10:50):
right?
Denise is making a face Shouldbe brushing your teeth every day
.
It is a practice.
It's not that you're actuallypracticing it you know how to do
it already, but it's somethingthat you do every day.
This is something that you haveto do every day.
Check in with your thoughts,check in with what am I thinking
right now?
What's running through my mind?
(11:13):
Do I need to shift that?
Are these thoughts serving me?
Because, like Denise said, wehave an insane amount of
thoughts that run through ourhead every day, but most of us
do not have that awareness.
We have no idea what's going onup there.
You have to pause yourself.
You have to stop and thinkthrough those thoughts, right?
You have to stop and listen towhat's going on in that head of
yours.
What's the mind chatter?
That's a practice.
(11:34):
That's a daily thing.
Speaker 1 (11:36):
It is a daily thing and you got to break the pattern
.
If you are the type of personwho keeps pushing through and
pushing through and pushingthrough and not taking that
pause, guess what?
Those thoughts, when you'repushing through and not taking
the pause to recalibrate, aregoing to run even more rogue and
they're going to even, you know, create more chatter and more,
(11:57):
you know, negative thoughts orwhatever.
So it's really important topractice the feeling also in
your body.
I want to add right.
So also feel it in your body.
So, whatever those emotions are, you want to get your body safe
.
Right?
You want to teach your bodyagain that you are safe.
Yes, I may be feeling angry, butyou are safe, right.
So sometimes I even teach mybody again to feel that anger,
(12:20):
but with safety, instead ofhaving to, like you know, tense
and be anxious and cause healthissues.
So can also be aware of howyour body is feeling with
emotions, how your body feelingwith triggers.
These are all of your simplesigns.
Right, when we are changing ourhealth habits, we say listen to
your body.
Same thing Listen to your body,listen to those thoughts and
(12:43):
guide them differently Because,remember, at the end of the day,
you are in control.
Speaker 2 (12:48):
Yeah Well, and I think there's a distinction too
of you're in control to anextent, but I think you have to
remind yourself too that you'realso an observer.
Right, I'm not going to forcethis thought to change if it
keeps coming back in my mind.
So I'm observing it.
It's okay, I'm going to makepeace with a thought, but then
(13:09):
I'm going to start to shift intoother thoughts and again, this
is where it becomes a practice,and I love what Denise said
getting into your body, doinghand on your heart, doing some
tapping, put your feet in theearth, like, go out there and
ground, do some breath work, gofor a walk, like things like
that.
If you continue to notice we'renot talking about one time.
(13:30):
Today I had a thought that Iwas ugly.
You know what I mean.
Like the one time, okay, not abig deal, but the thought that
goes through every day.
Like you start to notice apattern of thoughts.
Or, like my client said, Inoticed throughout the day.
When I get a symptom, Iimmediately go into I'm broken,
I'm never going to get betterand you can spiral.
That's what we're talking about.
(13:51):
Then you start to change, youobserve, you start to change,
you do something moving to startto.
You know, get yourself out ofthat state.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
Yeah, but we can't stress enough to establish that
practice, because once you're inthat spiraling mode, it's hard,
right Hard to get you back.
You're going to, you know, loseit.
So it's really important tohave that practice, because once
you have that practice, I don'twant to say it's easier, but
it's simpler to use your tools.
Speaker 2 (14:23):
Yeah, yeah, and it's going to take time because again
it goes back to coachingyourself.
You've got to start to havethat internal conversation of is
this thought serving me rightnow?
Is this thought true?
Is this thought even mine?
Or is it coming from things Iwas told in childhood by a
spouse, by a friend?
Whatever you have to learn tocoach yourself, you are going to
(14:48):
be your own best coach.
Yep, Do we have any?
She's like yep, I love it.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
We're keeping it, you know, sweet and short.
I know we may not, buteverything that we said can be
tools for you to utilize thequestions that we're asking can
be, you know, digging deeper,but this is on the daily, right,
like it is on the daily, whereyou practice.
You got to just, you know, havethe intention to do something
(15:24):
on the daily.
I know I'm like I just lost mythought that I'm trying to think
what the takeaways are.
It's just journal the questions, practice daily, like you know,
even coach yourself on thedaily.
Talk to yourself in the car.
I talk to myself in the car allthe time because you know no
one thinks you're crazy becausenow people talk on the Bluetooth
, right, you know, coachyourself in the car when you're
(15:45):
by yourself, like if you don'twant to do it.
You know if you're busy at thehouse or at work or something,
but it's really important toreally get into that practice
and, you know, be your own bestfriend and do it right now.
Speaker 2 (15:59):
If you're like, oh, I'm not going to do that when
I'm spiraling, we're notexpecting that Right now, pause
this episode and think what arethe thoughts running through
your mind in this moment?
And then have that conversationwith yourself out loud or in
your head, of what am I thinkingright now?
Are these serving me, are theymine?
And allow yourself to see whereit goes.
This is the practice right nowis pausing and doing it in this
(16:23):
moment.
The thoughts might be servingyou and that is totally okay,
but this is creating theawareness.
Speaker 1 (16:28):
Absolutely, absolutely.
And when you create theawareness, you increase the
awareness, and this is when thechange starts happening.
Change is not going to happenmagically.
Change is going to happenlittle by little, with practice,
with commitment and withintention.
Right, so it's somethingcontinuous.
It's not going to, oh, I'mgoing to do it for a few months
and stop.
No, it's the same thing likehealthy eating, right, you don't
(16:49):
just eat healthy for two months, other two, right?
So it's really important justto kind of I don't want to
control, but take over thoughtstype of thing, right, so, like
sure, you know, observe them andlet them go.
It kind of.
Maybe think about them as waves, right, like they go, their
(17:09):
waves.
They come and they go, and theones that you like, you can keep
, the ones that sometimesprobably like I don't mean I
don't want to say a percentage,but a lot of the ones that you
don't like they may not be yours, they may be things that are
hard when you are five years oldand you just adopted it as a
freaking value and it's likewhat?
No, that's not, or it could bepart of your culture, right?
Speaker 2 (17:29):
so, like you know, yeah, I think this is it.
Yeah, share this episode.
Yes, share the episode, guys.
We're growing and we appreciateit so much.
Like denise and I are alwayslooking, we're like we're over
here, like we want to continueto grow.
So please share the podcastwith a friend posted on social
(17:50):
media.
Tag us, reach out if you havequestions or episodes you want
to hear about.
But we really want to grow this.
We want to serve more people,so help us get it out there.
Thank you, thank you.
We'll see you on the nextepisode, guys.
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