June 26, 2025 • 29 mins
In this episode with energy specialist Marcy Neumann, we explore the transformative journey of choosing self-love as a foundation for healing and authenticity. Marcy shares a powerful moment of awakening that led her to question her happiness and begin living more intentionally from the heart. Together, we dive into what it truly means to tune into your higher self, move beyond self-doubt, and embrace your divinity. This episode is an invitation to take bold, heart-led steps toward a life rooted in self-trust, fulfillment, and inner freedom.
About Marcy:
Marcy Neumann is an Energy Specialist! She is also an Intuitive Life Coach, Spiritualist Minister, RN and Certified Hypnotherapist specializing in Past Life regression. As a published author, creator of award-winning manifestation products, TV Host of Live With Marcy and Amy: The Heart Centered Woman, Podcast Host of The High Vibe Tribe, Host and Creator of ‘Parenting In An Upside Down World’ and founder of www.SelfLoveUniversity.com she is a sought after speaker and teacher for over 50 years leading women everywhere to heal their hearts and create self-love lifestyles for fulfillment, health and success.
Find Marcy:
www.facebook.com/HeartShiftCoach
www.facebook.com/marcyneumann
www.instagram.com/theheartshiftcoach
Twitter URL:@HeartShiftCoach
www.MarcyNeumann.com (grab her free ebook here)
www.SelfLoveUniversity.com
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Click here to download Kira's free self-love hypnosis audio or her free gut guide
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:03):
Welcome to the Heal Yourself Podcast, where we dive
deep into all things healing.
I'm Denise, a speech-languagepathologist and a self-love
coach for adults and teens.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
And I'm Kira, a traditional naturopath and
functional nutritionist, and weare here to guide you through
the transformative process ofhealing your body, mind and soul
.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
From the latest in functional medicine to nurturing
your relationship with yourself, healing trauma and even
transforming your money story.
We're here to empower you withthe knowledge and tools to
create lasting change.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
So, whether you're looking to heal physically,
emotionally or spiritually, joinus as we explore the many paths
to wholeness and wellness.
Hello everyone, and welcomeback to another episode of the
Heal Yourself podcast.
I'm one of your hosts.
(00:59):
Kira Denise could not be withus today, but I do have a
special guest for you and hername is Marci.
So before I bring her on, letme introduce you all to her.
So her name is Marci Newman.
She's an energy specialist, anintuitive life coach,
spiritualist, minister, rn andcertified hypnotherapist
(01:20):
specializing in past liferegression.
As a published author, creatorof award-winning manifestation
products, tv host of Live withMarci and Amy, the
Heart-Centered Women podcast,host of the High-Vide Tribe,
host and creator of Parenting inan Upside-Down World and
founder of Self-Love University,she's a sought-after speaker
(01:40):
and teacher.
I love all these accolades.
For over 50 years leading womeneverywhere to heal their hearts
and create self-love forfulfillment, health and success.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
Love it.
Welcome, marci.
Thank you so much.
I'm thrilled to be here withyou, cara, and yeah, just to
dive into you know what is mymost favorite subject to speak
about?
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Self-love my most favorite subject, to speak about
self-love and it's funny,denise and I talk about this a
lot and for me, I'm not aself-love coach, I'm a
naturopath, I'm a nutritionistbut I tell my clients, self-love
is always the starting pointfor healing.
We can't make the bestdecisions decisions I can't
speak today for ourselves if wedon't love ourselves.
(02:25):
That's right.
Speaker 3 (02:27):
Exactly right.
And we also don't have accessto the information about
ourselves until we start to loveourselves.
So it's really, you know, Imean what we're looking at is
the missing piece to what Iconsider to be healing.
You know, our drive is alwaysto come to know ourselves, right
(02:50):
to be this authentic, greatestexpression of self.
And so if we don't have accessto that because we're consumed
by self loathing, self-hatred,then what happens to that
driving force within us?
It withers and dies, or itfeels like it's withering and
(03:12):
dying, and I experienced itpersonally.
And so that's how I came uponmy journey of recognizing that
self-love is really the key.
It's the key to having it all,and it sounds so trite, but it's
so true it is.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
I'm curious too, because most of us get into what
we're in in the healing spacebecause of our own journey.
So that's what I was going toask how did you get to that
point?
Because most of us don't comeout of the womb and live our
whole lives thinking gosh, Ireally love myself.
Speaker 3 (03:48):
Nor are we fostered in doing so.
So for me it sort of ithappened in a number of ways,
but I think I had a turningpoint for myself and this is
actually a personal epiphanythat happened, and then I'll
tell you what unfolded from thatpoint.
(04:10):
But I was out in Montana for afamily wedding and at the same
time I was out there with all myfour kids.
We were also celebrating our25th wedding anniversary, and so
there was a lot of celebrationgoing on and you know, it was
just this wonderful time in ourlives and I remember so I've
(04:34):
always had this affinity forNative American right.
And so I'm at this party and Ilook out into the backyard.
Here's this authentic teepee.
Well, I couldn't contain myself.
So as soon as I was able, I sortof cropped out of the party,
waited until it was dark and Iwent out into the teepee.
(04:56):
And I remember standing in thatteepee and like feeling I was
starting to have this sort ofcosmic experience and that I
felt this energy moving and Ipulled back the ceiling flaps
and it was like the night skywas just filling it and I
decided, okay, so I just laiddown on the rugs that were there
(05:20):
and I started to think about mylife, kara and I'm you.
I was living the most idylliclife.
We had everything and anythinganybody could ever want.
My kids were all happy andhealthy and well on their way to
living their own lives, andjust everything was in alignment
.
And I started to just make thismental like very lengthy
(05:44):
gratitude list.
I'm so grateful for this, I'mso grateful for that.
All of a sudden, like a tickertape across my mind's eye, it
says how much longer do I haveto do this, lord?
I bolted up right, I broke outinto a sweat and I jumped out of
(06:06):
the teepee and I vomited in thebushes.
I had this very deep reaction tothat, first off, in a total
state of shock.
Right, where did that come from?
Number one, number two, Istarted to realize.
(06:27):
In that moment I was entrenchedin this feeling of shame, guilt
and dread, like what the heck?
What?
What was that and what's goingto happen?
I could feel this dread insideof me and I went back to New
(06:48):
York afterwards and reallythought you know so much about
the fact of you know like Iremember being so aware.
The entire weekend, kara, I wasshrunken down.
I was trying to prevent anyonefrom looking in my eyes.
I was so afraid that they wouldsee that I had had this thought
(07:08):
like, who was I to ask for more?
Right, I had everything.
I was the envy of so many womenI knew.
And as I went home and tried tolike filter through all of this
stuff, it was impossible.
And so what did I do?
I started to just sweep itunder the rug and just tried to
(07:30):
ignore it, but it wouldn't haveit.
It just kept coming up and upand up and the feeling got, you
know, deeper and stronger, andso I reached out to this
wonderful women's therapist whoworked with women in transition.
I didn't see myself as being intransition, but she was the
(07:51):
only number I had and so Ireached out to her, and before
long, it was so evident that thedepth of my unhappiness that I
was living was something thatI'd also been sweeping under the
rug for so long.
(08:11):
And the truth of the matter was,as much as I was celebrating 25
years of marriage, I was sounhappy in it Now living an
idyllic life and havingeverything you want and being
happy being a mother and, insome parts, being a wife you
want, and being happy being amother and, in some parts, being
a wife.
Um, you know, it just seemed totake me from day to day, event
(08:33):
to event.
I have a color-coded calendar.
You know the whole thing.
But when that realization cameforward and I allowed myself to
see it as it really was not howI wanted it to be, not how I
portrayed it to be, this pictureof perfection everything
started to fall apart.
I could not contain any longerthe energy that had been really
(09:00):
like just working so hard to getto the surface that I had kept
putting like little band-aids on, hoping to placate those voices
right.
Well, a year, almost to the dayof that event in the teepee, I
was asking my husband for adivorce and what it required was
(09:27):
that I not just get divorcedbut that I leave my home, my
community, much of my family, myjob, my friends, like the
entire life that I had worked sohard to create, and what I
thought defined me was what Ineeded to leave behind.
(09:49):
Because not one of them wasgoing to accept this new me and
I had done such a fabulous job,I always pat myself on the
shoulder about that about, youknow, just doing such an
incredible job of living up toother people's criteria and
expectations and creating thelife that made them happy, but
(10:12):
in the meantime it had swallowedme whole.
So when this happened, Ieventually so left my marital
home and moved into a home withmy youngest son, and at the time
(10:33):
I had been experiencing anumber of medical conditions
that I just brushed off, sweptthem under the rug, deciding
they were all part of justnormal aging, right?
Yeah?
So I'm telling you, kara, I hadpain in my hips that was so
severe that I remember lying inbed at night and like whimpering
(10:57):
, crying, but I couldn't allowmy husband to hear it.
Yeah, I remember having panicattacks Well, I'm not going to
say panic attacks because at thetime I didn't know they were
but I had recurrent dreams whereI would wake up in this sweat
and I'd be, you know, likeripping things apart because I
(11:19):
couldn't find my wedding ring.
I had digestive issues, neverleft the house without Tums.
I had such constant headaches,again living on Advil, and after
about maybe three or four,maybe five months of being out
(11:41):
of that environment environmentI remember I was sitting at my
desk one morning and thedoorbell rang and I just leapt
out of my chair and went toanswer the door.
And I'm standing there and allof a sudden I got the same rush
of knowingness.
I had just leapt out of mychair and when the person who
(12:04):
was at my door left, I juststood there back against the
door and said, oh my God, Ihaven't had any pain in my hips
Once, I haven't had a headache,I haven't had digestive issues,
I have God bumps.
As I'm talking, I haven't hadany of those symptoms that had
(12:29):
been really plaguing me for along time.
And I remember just standing upagainst that door and just
weeping, weeping with suchgratitude.
And that was when I started tolike really sort of put that
(12:51):
hindsight to work for me and Istarted.
Well, what did you dodifferently?
Let's see, I, you know, hadalready been for years and years
a healer.
I was a Reiki master, I was avegetarian, I say.
I was a card-carrying PTAmember.
I was everything right.
So what had I done differently?
(13:12):
And that was when I realizedthe only thing that I had done
is that I had allowed myself tolove myself in a way I had never
, ever allowed before.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
I love that.
It's such a beautiful story butat the same time, I feel like
everyone listening is going toresonate with that, because we
all do it in different ways,obviously, but we're constantly
living our lives for otherpeople.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
We don't ask ourselves enough.
What do I want?
What would bring me anabundance of joy and happiness?
It's no, I've got to do this,I've got to do that.
I've got to get the kids overhere.
I've got to make dinner, I'vegot to.
Oh, my husband wants to do this.
That's not living, that's right.
And then we expect our bodiesto thrive.
Speaker 3 (14:08):
Yeah, exactly, and you know it's that denial of
self.
You know that is so deep.
We are so programmed to live inthat paradigm and I think,
particularly as women, rightwhere, and everything that we do
(14:29):
, it's always about puttingother people first, and you know
, then there becomes thiscompetition about, well, how
good of a job did you do thatand how you know the whole
martyr thing that women so oftenwear.
And you know, and when we arebrought to these situations that
(14:49):
literally bring us to our knees, we have a choice to make and
we can do as I did for a longtime and sweep it under the rug
and bear the consequences ofthat.
Like I'm going to tell yousomething, Kara when I left, I
felt like I was lost.
(15:13):
I had been feeling my spiritdying for so long.
I felt like I was saving my ownlife, Like I had no other
choice, and when I finally madethat pivot and I started to
create that life as you werejust describing, all right, I
(15:33):
realized how I could make thedecisions now.
I realized how I could make thedecisions now were the
decisions that were going toenhance my life, and so I
started to simply ask does thisfeed my spirit.
I said does this feed my spirit?
And all the people who left mylife, and all the circumstances
(15:57):
and situations, and, you know,idealism and all of that, it was
okay.
I really came to this place ofhaving compassion for them and
knowing their time would come aswell.
(16:17):
It happens to all of us, and sowhat I think the real message is
is that, as you said, you know,we come to this place right
where we must make the choice,but that choice has got to be in
(16:41):
the recognition that not onlyis it for our highest good, but
it's for also the highest goodof all those that we love.
Even though it's not going tolook like that and it's not
going to feel like thatinitially, and it's not going to
feel like that initially, whatis there is the essence of our
(17:03):
true nature that is clamoring toget to the surface so that we
can live in our purpose, so thatwe can live a fulfilled life,
so that we can be everythingthat we came here to be.
And I can tell you that I hadthe most extraordinary
experience, because once I didthat and once I started to
(17:24):
really put my heart in thecenter of my world, it was
almost as if the universe laiditself at my feet.
I mean everything all thesedoors that I couldn't even
imagine just started flying open, and all these invitations, and
it's been 20 years now.
I have never looked back.
(17:46):
I am not going to tell you thatit's always been easy.
I've cried many, many tears,had to pick myself up off the
ground many times because thatvoice who do you think you are?
Yeah, to ask for more.
You know what about that person?
What about your kids?
What about this?
What about that?
But the universe has carried mewith wings and I'm here today
(18:14):
speaking with you, speaking toour audience, because of that,
and so it's why I have putself-love as the complete focus
of everything that I do andcreate, because I know that it
is absolutely essential.
Speaker 2 (18:36):
Yeah, so I tend to ask loaded questions.
Please For our listeners.
How does someone start tocultivate self love?
Speaker 3 (18:50):
Yeah.
So I think that the first thingis to just accept that this
really is your purpose in life.
Your purpose in life and thismight be, you know, a little
difficult for some people toaccept in this moment, but I
(19:11):
promise you, if you willcontinue to pursue this, you
will come to a place of completeunderstanding and acceptance.
But I believe that our journeyhere is to bring us into our own
divinity.
It's to bring us to the pointwhere we start to recognize that
we truly are the creators ofour lives.
(19:33):
And as we climb that scale ofthat love frequency which is the
creative force of all things,the higher the frequency, the
more adept we are in number one,accessing the information that
we need.
(19:53):
Number two, in creating whattruly is for the highest good
for ourselves and for others.
And so cultivating thisawareness of when you are
shrinking down as opposed tobeing all in, that's your first
(20:14):
key.
Whenever we shrink down, it isthe result of programming, it's
the result of that.
You know, ego's favoriteplayground the shame, the guilt.
I'm not enough, I'm not lovable, I'm not pretty enough, I'm not
funny enough, I'm not smartenough.
All of that, stuff Right, stuffright.
(20:43):
And so, when we start todiscern those energies.
Your higher self will alwayscall you forward and it'll
whisper follow me.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
We like to ignore those whispers yeah exactly, I
was really good at it.
Speaker 3 (20:53):
And the ego is loud and clamoring and shouting and,
you know, produces all thesesmoke screens and distractions
(21:21):
that we are meant to really justbe consciously aware of, be
very present in our own lives sothat we remember that we always
have the choice to follow thewhisper.
But it means that we have tolearn how to shut out, you know,
the voice of the ego.
That's where the band-aidsbelong.
(21:46):
That's what we need to quietdown, not from a place of
disgust or anger, but a place oflove.
You know, in its ownconsciousness it thinks it's,
you know, saving us right fromsure destruction coming out from
behind the couch.
You know it's too unsafe, youcan't do that this is where
bravery comes in this is exactlyright, it's not easy to listen
(22:08):
to those whispers.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
It's so much easier to say no, no, no, we're not
going there yeah, that's right,100%.
Speaker 3 (22:16):
So we learn to discern the voices.
But again, we have to acceptthis is our purpose in life.
And number two, that incultivating that level of
awareness comes another level ofresponsibility, and that
(22:38):
responsibility is always firstto ourselves as the divine being
that we are understand.
That self-love is going to takeyou out of your comfort zone a
(23:04):
hundred percent, a hundredpercent.
So we need to get accustomed tobeing at that precipice of oh
yeah, this is scary, yes, it is,but it's not scary because you
don't have the capability.
(23:26):
It's only scary because you'vehad the ego clamoring in your
head all those years telling youyou can't do it, and you don't
have memory in that moment ofbeing your divine self.
But here's what I promise eachand every person, and that is
(23:47):
that in that moment you need totrust that all of this is true
and all of this is happening inour favor.
You are not being tested.
You are being invited to stepforward into yourself.
But my promise to you is isthat that trust is a temporary
(24:10):
necessity.
Once you step over thatthreshold and the universe is
right there, you will have allof the evidence in the world
that you possibly need.
And trust, then is thattemporary energy that will help
to take you over the threshold?
Speaker 2 (24:30):
if you will say yes, so go out there and say yes,
just say yes.
Oh well, for those that areinterested in, I don't know if
you work with clients or what itlooks like, but what does that
look like and how do they findyou?
Speaker 3 (24:53):
My website is Marci Newman dot com
M-A-R-C-Y-N-E-U-M-A-N-N.
Also, you can always email me,marci, at Heart Shift Coach dot
com.
I also have another website,self Love University dot com,
(25:17):
and there are loads of programson there to help you on your way
.
I also have another website,selfloveuniversitycom, and there
are loads of programs on thereto help you on your way, and all
I know is that when you arelooking for the support that you
need, you will find that person, and what I have found is that
the people who have come to meare just a perfect jelly right.
(25:42):
It's that person who's reallyready to be courageous, to step
over the threshold and know thatI'm there to hold your hand and
your heart every step along theway, to hold your hand and your
(26:03):
heart every step along the wayand to know again not only do
you have all of this within youalready, that there will be a
day where you won't even need tobe courageous.
It becomes a way of life, andthat's what my quest is really
to help people to build aself-love lifestyle, so that
(26:45):
there's the path for you.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
Wonderful, well, and you have a free e-book too,
don't you?
I do?
Speaker 3 (26:53):
Okay and yeah, and so important Because, as you said,
kara, I mean, we're constantlyliving.
You know that life, that theego right, exactly.
So what we don't recognize sooften is how it's sabotaging not
(27:14):
just our efforts to havefulfillment and happiness and
health, but in sabotaging theefforts, it also sabotages our
hopes and we lose the hope ofhaving a better life.
(27:34):
And so I've written an e-bookand it's how to shift from
self-sabotage to self-love infive days.
Speaker 2 (27:50):
It's all in the recognition.
Yeah, oh, yay, I'm going toread it.
This is all going to be in theshow notes.
You guys, any way to contacther?
The link to the ebook, all ofthat will be in there.
Speaker 3 (28:14):
Oh, and one more thing I have.
I'm there every single day,offering support and inspiration
is, and so are so many otherpeople, and they're all on the
same quest, the same journey and, by the way, it's my journey
too.
Speaker 2 (28:32):
Yeah, we're never done, denise and I always talk
about that.
Speaker 3 (28:35):
Yeah, no, no yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
Well, thank you.
Speaker 3 (28:39):
Please join me there.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
Yeah, thank you so much.
This was such a lovely episodeand I say this every time, but
something everyone needs to hear.
Speaker 3 (28:50):
So thank you so much and I look forward to next time.
Bye, bye, everyone.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
All right, bye bye you guys, bye, bye.
Welcome to the Heal Yourself Podcast, where we dive
deep into all things healing.
I'm Denise, a speech-languagepathologist and a self-love
coach for adults and teens.
Speaker 2 (00:15):
And I'm Kira, a traditional naturopath and
functional nutritionist, and weare here to guide you through
the transformative process ofhealing your body, mind and soul
.
Speaker 1 (00:25):
From the latest in functional medicine to nurturing
your relationship with yourself, healing trauma and even
transforming your money story.
We're here to empower you withthe knowledge and tools to
create lasting change.
Speaker 2 (00:39):
So, whether you're looking to heal physically,
emotionally or spiritually, joinus as we explore the many paths
to wholeness and wellness.
Hello everyone, and welcomeback to another episode of the
Heal Yourself podcast.
I'm one of your hosts.
(00:59):
Kira Denise could not be withus today, but I do have a
special guest for you and hername is Marci.
So before I bring her on, letme introduce you all to her.
So her name is Marci Newman.
She's an energy specialist, anintuitive life coach,
spiritualist, minister, rn andcertified hypnotherapist
(01:20):
specializing in past liferegression.
As a published author, creatorof award-winning manifestation
products, tv host of Live withMarci and Amy, the
Heart-Centered Women podcast,host of the High-Vide Tribe,
host and creator of Parenting inan Upside-Down World and
founder of Self-Love University,she's a sought-after speaker
(01:40):
and teacher.
I love all these accolades.
For over 50 years leading womeneverywhere to heal their hearts
and create self-love forfulfillment, health and success.
Speaker 3 (01:51):
Love it.
Welcome, marci.
Thank you so much.
I'm thrilled to be here withyou, cara, and yeah, just to
dive into you know what is mymost favorite subject to speak
about?
Speaker 2 (02:03):
Self-love my most favorite subject, to speak about
self-love and it's funny,denise and I talk about this a
lot and for me, I'm not aself-love coach, I'm a
naturopath, I'm a nutritionistbut I tell my clients, self-love
is always the starting pointfor healing.
We can't make the bestdecisions decisions I can't
speak today for ourselves if wedon't love ourselves.
(02:25):
That's right.
Speaker 3 (02:27):
Exactly right.
And we also don't have accessto the information about
ourselves until we start to loveourselves.
So it's really, you know, Imean what we're looking at is
the missing piece to what Iconsider to be healing.
You know, our drive is alwaysto come to know ourselves, right
(02:50):
to be this authentic, greatestexpression of self.
And so if we don't have accessto that because we're consumed
by self loathing, self-hatred,then what happens to that
driving force within us?
It withers and dies, or itfeels like it's withering and
(03:12):
dying, and I experienced itpersonally.
And so that's how I came uponmy journey of recognizing that
self-love is really the key.
It's the key to having it all,and it sounds so trite, but it's
so true it is.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
I'm curious too, because most of us get into what
we're in in the healing spacebecause of our own journey.
So that's what I was going toask how did you get to that
point?
Because most of us don't comeout of the womb and live our
whole lives thinking gosh, Ireally love myself.
Speaker 3 (03:48):
Nor are we fostered in doing so.
So for me it sort of ithappened in a number of ways,
but I think I had a turningpoint for myself and this is
actually a personal epiphanythat happened, and then I'll
tell you what unfolded from thatpoint.
(04:10):
But I was out in Montana for afamily wedding and at the same
time I was out there with all myfour kids.
We were also celebrating our25th wedding anniversary, and so
there was a lot of celebrationgoing on and you know, it was
just this wonderful time in ourlives and I remember so I've
(04:34):
always had this affinity forNative American right.
And so I'm at this party and Ilook out into the backyard.
Here's this authentic teepee.
Well, I couldn't contain myself.
So as soon as I was able, I sortof cropped out of the party,
waited until it was dark and Iwent out into the teepee.
(04:56):
And I remember standing in thatteepee and like feeling I was
starting to have this sort ofcosmic experience and that I
felt this energy moving and Ipulled back the ceiling flaps
and it was like the night skywas just filling it and I
decided, okay, so I just laiddown on the rugs that were there
(05:20):
and I started to think about mylife, kara and I'm you.
I was living the most idylliclife.
We had everything and anythinganybody could ever want.
My kids were all happy andhealthy and well on their way to
living their own lives, andjust everything was in alignment
.
And I started to just make thismental like very lengthy
(05:44):
gratitude list.
I'm so grateful for this, I'mso grateful for that.
All of a sudden, like a tickertape across my mind's eye, it
says how much longer do I haveto do this, lord?
I bolted up right, I broke outinto a sweat and I jumped out of
(06:06):
the teepee and I vomited in thebushes.
I had this very deep reaction tothat, first off, in a total
state of shock.
Right, where did that come from?
Number one, number two, Istarted to realize.
(06:27):
In that moment I was entrenchedin this feeling of shame, guilt
and dread, like what the heck?
What?
What was that and what's goingto happen?
I could feel this dread insideof me and I went back to New
(06:48):
York afterwards and reallythought you know so much about
the fact of you know like Iremember being so aware.
The entire weekend, kara, I wasshrunken down.
I was trying to prevent anyonefrom looking in my eyes.
I was so afraid that they wouldsee that I had had this thought
(07:08):
like, who was I to ask for more?
Right, I had everything.
I was the envy of so many womenI knew.
And as I went home and tried tolike filter through all of this
stuff, it was impossible.
And so what did I do?
I started to just sweep itunder the rug and just tried to
(07:30):
ignore it, but it wouldn't haveit.
It just kept coming up and upand up and the feeling got, you
know, deeper and stronger, andso I reached out to this
wonderful women's therapist whoworked with women in transition.
I didn't see myself as being intransition, but she was the
(07:51):
only number I had and so Ireached out to her, and before
long, it was so evident that thedepth of my unhappiness that I
was living was something thatI'd also been sweeping under the
rug for so long.
(08:11):
And the truth of the matter was,as much as I was celebrating 25
years of marriage, I was sounhappy in it Now living an
idyllic life and havingeverything you want and being
happy being a mother and, insome parts, being a wife you
want, and being happy being amother and, in some parts, being
a wife.
Um, you know, it just seemed totake me from day to day, event
(08:33):
to event.
I have a color-coded calendar.
You know the whole thing.
But when that realization cameforward and I allowed myself to
see it as it really was not howI wanted it to be, not how I
portrayed it to be, this pictureof perfection everything
started to fall apart.
I could not contain any longerthe energy that had been really
(09:00):
like just working so hard to getto the surface that I had kept
putting like little band-aids on, hoping to placate those voices
right.
Well, a year, almost to the dayof that event in the teepee, I
was asking my husband for adivorce and what it required was
(09:27):
that I not just get divorcedbut that I leave my home, my
community, much of my family, myjob, my friends, like the
entire life that I had worked sohard to create, and what I
thought defined me was what Ineeded to leave behind.
(09:49):
Because not one of them wasgoing to accept this new me and
I had done such a fabulous job,I always pat myself on the
shoulder about that about, youknow, just doing such an
incredible job of living up toother people's criteria and
expectations and creating thelife that made them happy, but
(10:12):
in the meantime it had swallowedme whole.
So when this happened, Ieventually so left my marital
home and moved into a home withmy youngest son, and at the time
(10:33):
I had been experiencing anumber of medical conditions
that I just brushed off, sweptthem under the rug, deciding
they were all part of justnormal aging, right?
Yeah?
So I'm telling you, kara, I hadpain in my hips that was so
severe that I remember lying inbed at night and like whimpering
(10:57):
, crying, but I couldn't allowmy husband to hear it.
Yeah, I remember having panicattacks Well, I'm not going to
say panic attacks because at thetime I didn't know they were
but I had recurrent dreams whereI would wake up in this sweat
and I'd be, you know, likeripping things apart because I
(11:19):
couldn't find my wedding ring.
I had digestive issues, neverleft the house without Tums.
I had such constant headaches,again living on Advil, and after
about maybe three or four,maybe five months of being out
(11:41):
of that environment environmentI remember I was sitting at my
desk one morning and thedoorbell rang and I just leapt
out of my chair and went toanswer the door.
And I'm standing there and allof a sudden I got the same rush
of knowingness.
I had just leapt out of mychair and when the person who
(12:04):
was at my door left, I juststood there back against the
door and said, oh my God, Ihaven't had any pain in my hips
Once, I haven't had a headache,I haven't had digestive issues,
I have God bumps.
As I'm talking, I haven't hadany of those symptoms that had
(12:29):
been really plaguing me for along time.
And I remember just standing upagainst that door and just
weeping, weeping with suchgratitude.
And that was when I started tolike really sort of put that
(12:51):
hindsight to work for me and Istarted.
Well, what did you dodifferently?
Let's see, I, you know, hadalready been for years and years
a healer.
I was a Reiki master, I was avegetarian, I say.
I was a card-carrying PTAmember.
I was everything right.
So what had I done differently?
(13:12):
And that was when I realizedthe only thing that I had done
is that I had allowed myself tolove myself in a way I had never
, ever allowed before.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
I love that.
It's such a beautiful story butat the same time, I feel like
everyone listening is going toresonate with that, because we
all do it in different ways,obviously, but we're constantly
living our lives for otherpeople.
Speaker 1 (13:49):
That's right.
Speaker 2 (13:49):
We don't ask ourselves enough.
What do I want?
What would bring me anabundance of joy and happiness?
It's no, I've got to do this,I've got to do that.
I've got to get the kids overhere.
I've got to make dinner, I'vegot to.
Oh, my husband wants to do this.
That's not living, that's right.
And then we expect our bodiesto thrive.
Speaker 3 (14:08):
Yeah, exactly, and you know it's that denial of
self.
You know that is so deep.
We are so programmed to live inthat paradigm and I think,
particularly as women, rightwhere, and everything that we do
(14:29):
, it's always about puttingother people first, and you know
, then there becomes thiscompetition about, well, how
good of a job did you do thatand how you know the whole
martyr thing that women so oftenwear.
And you know, and when we arebrought to these situations that
(14:49):
literally bring us to our knees, we have a choice to make and
we can do as I did for a longtime and sweep it under the rug
and bear the consequences ofthat.
Like I'm going to tell yousomething, Kara when I left, I
felt like I was lost.
(15:13):
I had been feeling my spiritdying for so long.
I felt like I was saving my ownlife, Like I had no other
choice, and when I finally madethat pivot and I started to
create that life as you werejust describing, all right, I
(15:33):
realized how I could make thedecisions now.
I realized how I could make thedecisions now were the
decisions that were going toenhance my life, and so I
started to simply ask does thisfeed my spirit.
I said does this feed my spirit?
And all the people who left mylife, and all the circumstances
(15:57):
and situations, and, you know,idealism and all of that, it was
okay.
I really came to this place ofhaving compassion for them and
knowing their time would come aswell.
(16:17):
It happens to all of us, and sowhat I think the real message is
is that, as you said, you know,we come to this place right
where we must make the choice,but that choice has got to be in
(16:41):
the recognition that not onlyis it for our highest good, but
it's for also the highest goodof all those that we love.
Even though it's not going tolook like that and it's not
going to feel like thatinitially, and it's not going to
feel like that initially, whatis there is the essence of our
(17:03):
true nature that is clamoring toget to the surface so that we
can live in our purpose, so thatwe can live a fulfilled life,
so that we can be everythingthat we came here to be.
And I can tell you that I hadthe most extraordinary
experience, because once I didthat and once I started to
(17:24):
really put my heart in thecenter of my world, it was
almost as if the universe laiditself at my feet.
I mean everything all thesedoors that I couldn't even
imagine just started flying open, and all these invitations, and
it's been 20 years now.
I have never looked back.
(17:46):
I am not going to tell you thatit's always been easy.
I've cried many, many tears,had to pick myself up off the
ground many times because thatvoice who do you think you are?
Yeah, to ask for more.
You know what about that person?
What about your kids?
What about this?
What about that?
But the universe has carried mewith wings and I'm here today
(18:14):
speaking with you, speaking toour audience, because of that,
and so it's why I have putself-love as the complete focus
of everything that I do andcreate, because I know that it
is absolutely essential.
Speaker 2 (18:36):
Yeah, so I tend to ask loaded questions.
Please For our listeners.
How does someone start tocultivate self love?
Speaker 3 (18:50):
Yeah.
So I think that the first thingis to just accept that this
really is your purpose in life.
Your purpose in life and thismight be, you know, a little
difficult for some people toaccept in this moment, but I
(19:11):
promise you, if you willcontinue to pursue this, you
will come to a place of completeunderstanding and acceptance.
But I believe that our journeyhere is to bring us into our own
divinity.
It's to bring us to the pointwhere we start to recognize that
we truly are the creators ofour lives.
(19:33):
And as we climb that scale ofthat love frequency which is the
creative force of all things,the higher the frequency, the
more adept we are in number one,accessing the information that
we need.
(19:53):
Number two, in creating whattruly is for the highest good
for ourselves and for others.
And so cultivating thisawareness of when you are
shrinking down as opposed tobeing all in, that's your first
(20:14):
key.
Whenever we shrink down, it isthe result of programming, it's
the result of that.
You know, ego's favoriteplayground the shame, the guilt.
I'm not enough, I'm not lovable, I'm not pretty enough, I'm not
funny enough, I'm not smartenough.
All of that, stuff Right, stuffright.
(20:43):
And so, when we start todiscern those energies.
Your higher self will alwayscall you forward and it'll
whisper follow me.
Speaker 2 (20:48):
We like to ignore those whispers yeah exactly, I
was really good at it.
Speaker 3 (20:53):
And the ego is loud and clamoring and shouting and,
you know, produces all thesesmoke screens and distractions
(21:21):
that we are meant to really justbe consciously aware of, be
very present in our own lives sothat we remember that we always
have the choice to follow thewhisper.
But it means that we have tolearn how to shut out, you know,
the voice of the ego.
That's where the band-aidsbelong.
(21:46):
That's what we need to quietdown, not from a place of
disgust or anger, but a place oflove.
You know, in its ownconsciousness it thinks it's,
you know, saving us right fromsure destruction coming out from
behind the couch.
You know it's too unsafe, youcan't do that this is where
bravery comes in this is exactlyright, it's not easy to listen
(22:08):
to those whispers.
Speaker 2 (22:09):
It's so much easier to say no, no, no, we're not
going there yeah, that's right,100%.
Speaker 3 (22:16):
So we learn to discern the voices.
But again, we have to acceptthis is our purpose in life.
And number two, that incultivating that level of
awareness comes another level ofresponsibility, and that
(22:38):
responsibility is always firstto ourselves as the divine being
that we are understand.
That self-love is going to takeyou out of your comfort zone a
(23:04):
hundred percent, a hundredpercent.
So we need to get accustomed tobeing at that precipice of oh
yeah, this is scary, yes, it is,but it's not scary because you
don't have the capability.
(23:26):
It's only scary because you'vehad the ego clamoring in your
head all those years telling youyou can't do it, and you don't
have memory in that moment ofbeing your divine self.
But here's what I promise eachand every person, and that is
(23:47):
that in that moment you need totrust that all of this is true
and all of this is happening inour favor.
You are not being tested.
You are being invited to stepforward into yourself.
But my promise to you is isthat that trust is a temporary
(24:10):
necessity.
Once you step over thatthreshold and the universe is
right there, you will have allof the evidence in the world
that you possibly need.
And trust, then is thattemporary energy that will help
to take you over the threshold?
Speaker 2 (24:30):
if you will say yes, so go out there and say yes,
just say yes.
Oh well, for those that areinterested in, I don't know if
you work with clients or what itlooks like, but what does that
look like and how do they findyou?
Speaker 3 (24:53):
My website is Marci Newman dot com
M-A-R-C-Y-N-E-U-M-A-N-N.
Also, you can always email me,marci, at Heart Shift Coach dot
com.
I also have another website,self Love University dot com,
(25:17):
and there are loads of programson there to help you on your way
.
I also have another website,selfloveuniversitycom, and there
are loads of programs on thereto help you on your way, and all
I know is that when you arelooking for the support that you
need, you will find that person, and what I have found is that
the people who have come to meare just a perfect jelly right.
(25:42):
It's that person who's reallyready to be courageous, to step
over the threshold and know thatI'm there to hold your hand and
your heart every step along theway, to hold your hand and your
(26:03):
heart every step along the wayand to know again not only do
you have all of this within youalready, that there will be a
day where you won't even need tobe courageous.
It becomes a way of life, andthat's what my quest is really
to help people to build aself-love lifestyle, so that
(26:45):
there's the path for you.
Speaker 2 (26:49):
Wonderful, well, and you have a free e-book too,
don't you?
I do?
Speaker 3 (26:53):
Okay and yeah, and so important Because, as you said,
kara, I mean, we're constantlyliving.
You know that life, that theego right, exactly.
So what we don't recognize sooften is how it's sabotaging not
(27:14):
just our efforts to havefulfillment and happiness and
health, but in sabotaging theefforts, it also sabotages our
hopes and we lose the hope ofhaving a better life.
(27:34):
And so I've written an e-bookand it's how to shift from
self-sabotage to self-love infive days.
Speaker 2 (27:50):
It's all in the recognition.
Yeah, oh, yay, I'm going toread it.
This is all going to be in theshow notes.
You guys, any way to contacther?
The link to the ebook, all ofthat will be in there.
Speaker 3 (28:14):
Oh, and one more thing I have.
I'm there every single day,offering support and inspiration
is, and so are so many otherpeople, and they're all on the
same quest, the same journey and, by the way, it's my journey
too.
Speaker 2 (28:32):
Yeah, we're never done, denise and I always talk
about that.
Speaker 3 (28:35):
Yeah, no, no yeah.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
Well, thank you.
Speaker 3 (28:39):
Please join me there.
Speaker 2 (28:41):
Yeah, thank you so much.
This was such a lovely episodeand I say this every time, but
something everyone needs to hear.
Speaker 3 (28:50):
So thank you so much and I look forward to next time.
Bye, bye, everyone.
Speaker 2 (28:55):
All right, bye bye you guys, bye, bye.
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