Episode Transcript
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Today, we're diving into a topicthat's often misunderstood, but
deeply transformative andimportant.
Feminism.
And more specifically, feministtherapy.
Now, before we get started,let's address the elephant in
the room.
To some people, including somewomen, feminism has a bad
connotation.
For decades, it's been reducedto man hating or unnecessarily
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aggressive.
This misrepresentation hascaused many to hesitate to call
themselves feminists.
even if they do believe in thecore principles of gender
equality.
So let's clear this up.
Feminism is not about hatingmen.
It's not about refusing to wearmakeup or bra.
It's about believing that allpeople, no matter their gender,
should have equal rights andopportunities.
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Emma Watson captured thisbeautifully her 2014 United
Nations HeForShe speech, whenshe said, feminism by definition
is the belief that men and womenshould have equal rights and
opportunities.
It is the theory of political,economic, and social equality of
the sexes.
If you haven't watched thatspeech, I highly recommend it,
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and we will put a link to it inthe show notes.
It's a powerful resource toreally understand what feminism
is.
So, how does feminism relate tomental health?
That's what we're here toexplore today.
We're here to unpack the historyand the theory of feminist
counseling, and discuss why it'simportant, and give you a clear
picture of what to expect if youdecide to give it a try.
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Let's start by groundingourselves in the basics.
Feminism as a movement hasevolved through several waves
over time.
In the first wave, women likeSusan B.
Anthony, Elizabeth Cady Stanton,and Sojourner Truth fought for
basic legal rights like votingand property ownership.
In the second wave, it expandedto include a focus for workplace
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rights, reproductive freedom,and protections against domestic
violence.
With leaders such as GloriaSteinem, Betty Friedman, and
Audre Lorde driving thatmovement forward.
The third and current wave,championed by figures like
Kimberly Crenshaw, focuses onintersectionality, acknowledging
that women experience oppressiondifferently on different factors
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like race, class, sexuality, anddisability.
At its core, feminism is aboutdismantling systems of
oppression.
It's not just for women, but foreveryone.
Patriarchy harms men, too, byreinforcing toxic masculinity,
discouraging emotionalvulnerability, and stigmatizing
help seeking behavior.
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Feminism is not just a woman'sissue, it's a human issue.
It's about creating a worldwhere everyone can thrive
without constraints of outdated,rigid, and harmful gender norms.
Now that we've clarified whatfeminism is, let's talk about
its role in mental health.
A great deal of the mentalhealth struggles that women face
aren't rooted in pathology.
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They're natural and validresponses to living in a society
that prioritizes men's needs andperspectives over women's.
For example, think about themental load that women carry in
relationships and families.
Think about the wage gap, or theconstant pressure to balance
career aspirations with societalexpectations of motherhood.
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These aren't individualfailings, they're systemic
issues.
Feminist therapy acknowledgesthis.
It shifts the focus from what'swrong with me to what happened
to me, and how is the worldaround me contributing to my
distress?
Feminist therapy is a counselingapproach rooted in the belief
that the personal issues areoften intertwined with societal
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issues.
It's built on the idea that thepersonal is political.
Meaning that individualexperiences can't be separated
from the larger social andcultural context.
Feminist therapy, as a field,owes much to pioneers like Carol
Gilligan, who challenged thetraditional psychological
theories with her book, In aDifferent Voice.
And Jean Baker Miller, whosebook Toward a New Psychology of
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Women, introduced the concept ofrelational cultural theory.
These contributions emphasizethe importance of relationships
and societal context in shapingmental health.
importance of culturalcompetence in counseling.
If you'd like to learn moreabout these women and the work
done we'll add links for you inthe show notes to reference.
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It's important to note thatwhile feminist therapy was
originally developed by womenfor women, it has since expanded
to include therapists andclients of all genders.
This inclusivity reflects theevolving understanding that the
patriarchy and gender basedoppression truly harms everyone.
Here are some of the keypriorities of feminist therapy.
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In other words, these are thethings that your feminist
oriented therapist will bethinking about during a therapy
session.
Number one, empowerment.
Feminist therapists aim to helpclients reclaim their voice and
their agency above everythingelse.
This means that they're going tohelp you identify and challenge
internalized messages fromsociety that diminish your self
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worth.
As therapists, we're not here totell you what is right and
what's wrong in your life.
The work that we do is simplyreflecting back to you what
you've told us in a differentway and asking questions that
help you to maybe see thingsfrom a different perspective.
In this way, we really work topartner with you and step
alongside you in your journey tohelp you evaluate how empowered
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you are.
Or how disempowered you are andhelp you figure out what steps
that you want to take next.
Number two, collaboration.
The therapist clientrelationship in feminist
counseling is viewed as anegalitarian partnership.
So this really means thatinstead of looking at your
therapist as being the expertwho is there to fix you or tell
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you exactly what advice youshould accept in order to make
your life better, we justpartner with you.
And we work together to help youidentify what goals and what
solutions work for you as aunique human being in this
world.
Next, we spend time payingattention to power dynamics.
Feminist therapy acknowledgespower imbalances, not just in
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society, but also in the therapyroom itself.
Therapists are trained to bemindful about how their own
privilege and biases mightimpact the counseling
relationship.
And this is even more true infeminist therapy.
In other words, we spend carefulattention to really ensure that
the therapeutic space remainsone that feels like that
partnership, where we worktogether to help you evaluate
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power dynamics across all areasof your life.
We really want to see youfeeling empowered and have the
ability to make choices.
the ability to say no and theability to take whatever action
you feel like is best to createthe life that you desire.
And lastly, we're also going topay particular attention to
intersectionality.
This framework considers howvarious aspects of your
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identity, so things like race,class, sexuality, and ability,
intersect and greatly influenceyour mental health.
We will help you explore andhonor how your intersectional
identity has influenced yourmental health and really help
you to identify ways to practiceactivism in a way that feels
safe and authentic for you.
So what does a feministcounseling session actually look
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like?
First, expect your therapist tovalidate your lived experiences
and encourage you to use yourvoice to tell stories about what
has happened to you and how itfelt.
If you mention that you'refeeling burnt out from juggling
work and family, your therapistwon't just focus on helping you
manage that stress, they'll alsohelp you explore how societal
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expectations around gender rolesmight actually be contributing
to that burnout, and anyfeelings that also come up
alongside it, like shame, guilt,or even negative self talk.
We often hear things like, youknow, I should be able to do all
of these things.
I shouldn't be struggling withthis so much.
Really, any time that we hear aclient say, I should or I
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shouldn't feel this, we reallyjust stop to question that.
Because we don't really want youto should yourself.
You'll likely also set goalscollaboratively with your
therapist in a feminist therapysession.
For example, you might work onsetting boundaries, you might
decide to build your selfadvocacy skills, or redefine
your identity outside of thosetraditional gender roles that we
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named earlier.
The therapy process in afeminist setting is centered
around being empowering, nonjudgmental, and deeply
personalized.
So, one FEMIS therapy session isgoing to look completely
different from another.
It is uniquely designed to fityou and honor the presenting
issues and the struggles thatyou are coming to us with.
There's not a prescriptivemethod that we follow.
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We simply partner with you andfocus on what is causing you the
most distress today, and reallydive into it with those themes
of empowerment and powerdynamics in mind.
And here's another importantpoint.
Feminist therapy isn't just forwomen.
Men, too, can benefit greatlyfrom this approach.
The patriarchy harms men byteaching them to suppress their
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emotions, avoid vulnerability,and equate strength with
stoicism.
These messages contribute to analarmingly high suicide rate for
men, as well as a host of issueslike untreated depression,
anxiety, and relationshipissues.
You may have heard about theloneliness epidemic hitting men
especially hard.
And let me say this veryclearly.
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Women are not at fault for men'sloneliness.
The patriarchy is.
Engaging in feminist therapy canhelp men unpack harmful messages
that isolate them and force themto suffer in silence.
Feminist therapy can help menlearn to process their emotions
in an authentic way and buildhealthier relationships with
themselves and others of allgenders.
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Because the patriarchy andmisogyny is so deeply rooted,
doing this work requires a greatlevel of bravery from men.
It takes real courage tochallenge societal norms and
redefine what it means to bestrong and to redefine what it
really means to be a man.
Feminist therapy offers apowerful lens for understanding
and addressing mental healthstruggles of all kinds.
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It helps us see that our painisn't always a sign of something
wrong with us.
It's often a natural response toan unfair and unjust world.
Consider this example.
A single mother, age 32, whoidentifies as a Latina, comes
into therapy for the first timeafter experiencing a string of
panic attacks.
She works full time as ateacher, and she has a master's
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degree and leadership trainingin her field.
But she also works a part timejob on weekends and over summers
to make ends meet.
She recently got turned down fora job promotion at school,
despite working in the districtfor seven years and having
nothing but glowing reviews.
The promotion went to a whitemale colleague who has been with
the school district for threeyears and has a bachelor's
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degree in education.
She also recently received anotice that she and her kids
need to move out of the housethey've been renting for the
past four years, and althoughshe's been trying, she's been
unable to find affordablehousing or assistance with the
move.
Since this is the first timeshe's coming to counseling,
She's never processed childhoodtrauma that has also occurred
for her.
These include things like herparents deportation and sexual
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assault that occurred in herearly teen years.
Now, thinking about this woman,we may see that she meets
diagnostic criteria for thingslike panic disorder and
potentially PTSD.
But if you really look at thisscenario and ask yourself, is
there something wrong with her?
Or is she doing the very bestthat she can in a very bad
situation where the odds arestacked against her?
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If she goes through the worldbelieving that she should be
able to get that promotion, sheshould be able to afford
housing, and she should be ableto handle the stress of
parenting and long work hoursjust fine, then it becomes her
fault when she's not copingwell.
Those panic attacks become herfault.
That thinking starts a very deepand dangerous cycle of shame and
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self deprecation that feedsanxiety, depression, and low
self esteem and self efficacy.
A feminist counseling approachfor this situation could help
her understand that she holdsconstant anxiety about the
safety of her kids because she,herself, was not safe as a
child.
Feminist counseling could helpher realize that, actually, the
reason she can't afford newhousing or get that promotion is
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because of the gender wage gapand intersectional oppression in
the workforce.
If she looks at herself and hersituation and says, I recognize
what I'm up against isn't fair,and I'm doing my very best, and
I will continue to do my best bytrying X, Y, and Z strategies
moving forward.
Instead of, gosh, I'm just notgood enough, and there's
something wrong with me becausethese things are not working out
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and I'm struggling.
Being able to tell yourself thatI recognize the world isn't
built for me, and I'm stillfighting, I'm still doing my
part, I'm working hard, and I'mgoing to continue to, that
perspective.
completely changes the effectsof the situation in terms of
mental health compared to thesecond example of I'm just not
good enough.
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So whether you're a womannavigating the pressures of
modern life or a man who islooking to break free from toxic
masculinity and improve yourrelationships, feminist
transformative tool in thatjourney.
If this episode resonated withyou, we really encourage you to
explore feminist therapy foryourself.
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At her time therapy.
Our therapists operate from afeminist counseling approach and
are here to support you in everystep of the way.
Please visit our website, hertime therapy.com to learn more
and to book a free consultation.