January 20, 2025 • 18 mins
In this powerful episode, we explore the emotional aftermath of the 2024 presidential election and 2025 inauguration. For many women, this election felt deeply personal, bringing up grief, anger, and fear for what lies ahead. Together, we unpack these emotions, validate their significance, and discuss actionable strategies to move forward with resilience and purpose.
Key Topics Covered:
- Naming Our Emotions:
- Recognizing grief in its many forms—ambiguous, collective, and anticipatory—and understanding how it impacts us physically, emotionally, and relationally.
- Journaling for Healing:
- Structured prompts to process feelings and explore values, beliefs, and resilience.
- Creative Expression:
- Using art, music, or writing to process grief and cope with uncertainty.
- Mindfulness Techniques:
- Learn the grounding 5-4-3-2-1 technique and the STOP skill to regulate emotions during stressful moments.
- Navigating Relationships:
- Questions to reflect on maintaining or distancing relationships in a divided political climate.
- Community and Connection:
- The importance of fostering supportive connections and joining communities for collective action.
- News Consumption and Balance:
- Setting boundaries to protect your mental health while staying informed.
- Transforming Grief into Empowerment:
- Taking control of what you can, from small self-care steps to advocacy for causes you care about.
Grief, anger, and fear in the wake of the election are valid. By naming our emotions, practicing self-compassion, and taking intentional steps toward healing and action, we can reclaim our strength and create positive change. Remember, self-care and advocacy are acts of resilience and defiance.
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💬 Share your reflections and join the conversation using #HerTimeTherapy.
Additional Resources:
Book an appointment with Rhiannon, our art therapist.
Advocacy:
- https://www.humanrightscareers.com/magazine/organizations-gender-equality/
- https://sheshouldrun.org/
- https://www.girlsinc.org/
- https://www.globalfundforwomen.org/
- https://www.wfco.org/
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- Visit our website to connect with a therapist or learn more
- Become a patron and support the podcast
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This is your time. Your story matters. Your voice is powerful. And your mental health is worth prioritizing.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:28):
Today, we're diving into a topicthat's on a lot of our minds.
Coping with the emotionalaftermath of the 2024
presidential election and the2025 inauguration.
For many of us, the results ofthis election has brought up
feelings of grief, anger, and alot of fear for what lies ahead.
Let's unpack that together,explore why these emotions are
(00:50):
valid, and discuss strategies tomove forward with resilience and
purpose.
First, let's name what we'refeeling.
For many women, this electionfelt deeply personal, because it
is.
A guiding principle in feministtherapy is that the personal is
political, and in a patriarchalsociety, political losses often
translate to very personal ones.
(01:13):
This goes far beyond, yourcandidate didn't win, and we're
upset about that.
What we're talking about here isreal threats to our bodily
autonomy, healthcare, and ourfundamental human rights.
These are not abstract issues.
They affect our day to daylives.
So what we're experiencing hereis grief, and it's actually not
(01:33):
even just one kind of grief thatis present for women right now.
There's ambiguous grief forlosses that we can't fully
define yet.
There's collective grief sharedwith women across the country,
and even anticipatory grief aswe brace for future challenges
that are not fully known yet.
Naming these emotions andrecognizing their validity is a
(01:54):
really vital first step for allof us.
to move towards healing andaction.
Grief and collective traumaoften show up in ways that we
don't expect.
Physically, you might noticefatigue, headaches, or even a
sense of heaviness throughoutyour body.
Emotionally, grief can bring ahost of different feelings,
including anger, disbelief, orhopelessness.
(02:16):
Relationally, it might alsocause us to withdraw or become
more reactive with loved ones.
And then there's what we callhigh functioning depression.
you're going through themotions, going to work,
attending to family obligations,but everything just feels muted
if you're experiencing that highfunctioning depression.
The sparkle is gone, and evensmall tasks might feel
(02:38):
overwhelming.
These feelings are normal andexpected after a significant
loss.
But if they persist or theyworsen over the months to come,
it's really important to reachout for professional support.
So how do we cope with all ofthis grief and potentially
depression and anxiety?
We start with self compassion.
Allow yourself to feel andprocess these emotions without
(03:01):
judgment.
One way you can do this isthrough journaling.
It doesn't necessarily need tobe a structured task, it can be
a free flowing outlet for yourthoughts and feelings.
But for those who do needstructured journal prompts,
here's a few that you mayconsider.
What emotions am I experiencingas I reflect on the election
results, and where do I feelthese emotions in my body?
(03:21):
So essentially, with this one,you write about the grief, the
fear, the anger, or otheremotions that you may be feeling
when you think about this topic,or if you see news related to
this topic.
Consider how these emotions areshowing up physically and
mentally, and explore theirimpact on your life.
Bringing awareness to thesesymptoms are the first step to
managing them.
Number two, how do theseelection results challenge or
(03:45):
reaffirm my values, beliefs, orsense of safety in my community?
And what steps can I take tostay grounded in what matters
most to me?
This journal prompt, encouragesyou to really reflect on the
ways that results align orconflict with your personal
values.
the rights that you hold dear,and even your perception of
others in the society that youlive in.
Then it encourages you to try toidentify specific ways to
(04:08):
reconnect with your innerstrength or support causes that
uphold your beliefs.
Examples of this could includethings like going to therapy,
connecting with a group of likeminded friends, or scheduling a
series of self care activitieslike group exercise classes or
mental health days.
A third journal prompt that mayhelp you process this is, what
does resilience look like for mein this moment, and how can I
(04:31):
create a space of safety,comfort, or hope in the face of
uncertainty?
With this one, we explore whatresilience means to you
personally during this time, andthis can be small, so look at
the small, actionable ways tocare for yourself, such as
connecting with loved ones,participating in activism, or
finding solace in creatingspiritual practices or artwork.
(04:53):
In addition to journaling, Weencourage trying creative
expression to cope with griefand the distressing symptoms
produced by it.
You don't need to be an artistto process grief creatively.
Any time that you dedicate tocreating something, whether it's
art, music, writing, or evensomething completely abstract,
it all counts.
And if you want to try this butfeel stuck, try attending
(05:16):
something like a sip and paintclass or a creative course at
your local community collegethat really guides you through
creating a piece of artwork.
And if that's not really yourthing, we also have a great art
therapist on staff at Her TimeTherapy.
So reach out to us and ask for aconsultation with our art
therapist, Rhiannon.
Another powerful tool tomanaging grief and anxiety about
(05:39):
what comes next is mindfulness.
With this, we want to trysetting a reminder on your
phone, maybe three times a dayto start, that prompts you to
just take five minutes to stopwhatever you're doing and just
notice what's happening for youemotionally, mentally, and
physically.
During this pause, engage insome deep breathing exercises,
like boxed breathing, or thegrounding exercise that we call
(06:01):
the 1 method.
Both of these can really helpregulate your emotions and calm
your nervous system down in themoment.
Let's take a moment to practicethe 1 technique right now.
This exercise can be great forcalming anxiety and bringing
yourself back to the presentmoment.
So go ahead and take a deepbreath in.
(06:22):
and let it out, and let's begin.
Take a moment to look around youand name five things that you
can see.
These can be as simple as a bookon the table, the color of the
walls, or a tree outside yourwindow.
Take time to really just noticeand name each thing that you
see.
Now, focus on four things thatyou can feel.
(06:45):
Maybe it's the texture of yourclothing, the surface of the
chair that you're sitting in, orthe temperature of the air on
your skin.
Notice these sensations withoutjudgment.
Next, listen for three thingsyou can hear.
It might be the sound of yourbreathing, birds outside, or a
clock ticking.
(07:05):
Tune into the sounds around you,even the quiet ones.
Next, take another deep breathand notice two things that you
can smell.
Even if you can't detect anystrong smells, think of two
scents that you enjoy, like afreshly baked loaf of bread or
your favorite flour.
(07:26):
If you like, take a moment tograb something nearby to smell.
And lastly, notice one thingthat you can taste.
Maybe you just had a sip ofcoffee, gum, or water.
If you don't taste anything,just think about your favorite
flavor.
Take another deep breath in andout and notice how you feel now.
(07:51):
Whether you're feelingoverwhelmed or disconnected,
remember that you can use thisexercise to come back to the
present moment and remind yournervous system that you're not
in danger at this very second.
That things are okay and that wecan calm down enough to think
and take a moment to choose ournext action.
If you find yourself in aparticularly heated political
(08:13):
conversation, this 5 techniqueis a great one to practice to
help you stay grounded and incontrol of your responses.
However, we need the ability topause for a moment first so that
we can remember that we knowthis tool.
That's where another skillcalled the stop skill can come
into play.
The stop skill is actually anacronym for stop.
(08:36):
Take a step back.
Observe your feelings andproceed mindfully.
Some of our clients like topicture a big red stop sign in
their mind when they start tonotice that they are getting
emotionally dysregulated orheated by what's happening in
the moment.
So really, anytime that we feelthat emotional elevation rise up
within us, that heat, we want tonotice that big red stop sign
(08:59):
come up in our mind, in ourmind's eye, and we use the
imagery of that stop sign.
Okay.
To remind us to take a moment,take a pause, take a breath and
maybe give yourself a breakwhere you go to the restroom or
you step into another room andyou use that 54321 technique to
give you time to come down andfind the clarity to decide
(09:20):
whether to engage or disengageand to make that choice based on
what's best for you in thismoment rather than what others
are maybe pushing you to engagein.
We all have moments where it'sbest not to engage, and instead
choose to protect our peace.
But other times, it may be inour best interest, and even in
the world's best interest, toengage and to use our voice.
(09:43):
One of the hardest parts of thispost election landscape is
dealing with the relationshipsthat feel strained or
contentious.
So many of us, our clients, andthe friends and the family that
we speak with are strugglingwith the question, Should I just
cut ties with someone withopposite views?
Or is it possible to maintain agood relationship while setting
(10:04):
boundaries?
And truly, there is no one sizefits all answer to this dilemma.
One of the key reasons why thisis a difficult question is that
this election is different fromall before it.
Even the 2016 election.
This time around, people knewwhat they're voting for and who
the candidates are as people.
(10:24):
We know their values.
including if a candidate'svalues are to perpetuate hate
and discrimination, or if theyvalue acceptance, diversity, and
human rights for all.
It's hard to maintainrelationships with people who
voted for a candidate who holdsvalues that are personally,
physically, and emotionallyharmful to us.
This is not a choice of simplyseparating the person from their
(10:46):
political beliefs.
Because this really isn't adifference in perspective on
political party.
It's a difference in perspectiveon human rights.
And to help you reflect,process, and decide on how to
engage in relationships duringthis difficult political
climate, I recommend reallyreflecting on the 10 questions
that I'll share with you next,either by yourself, via
(11:07):
journaling, or even in sessionwith your therapist.
Number one.
How significant are yourpolitical differences?
And do they relate tofundamental values or policies
central to your identity?
Number two.
Can you separate the person fromtheir political beliefs?
Or does this change how you seethem?
(11:27):
Number three, do their politicalviews affect you personally,
affect your loved ones, or thecauses that you deeply care
about?
Number four, how do politicalconversations with this person
make you feel?
In other words, can you engagein civil discourse with this
person without it turningdisrespectful or abusive?
(11:47):
Number five, are they willing torespect boundaries around
political discussions?
Or can you agree to just avoidcertain topics and have that be
respected?
Number six, is the relationshipotherwise meaningful?
And if you choose to maintainthe connection because of this
other meaningful part of therelationship, can we hold those
(12:09):
key boundaries?
Do they respect it when you saysomething like, I really prefer
not to talk about politics rightnow, or let's actually focus on
what we have in common.
Those phrases can really helpsteer conversations away from
conflict, and if you have ameaningful relationship with a
lot of history with someone, andthey can honor those boundaries
and respect when you draw thatline, this may be a sign that
(12:32):
there's something to work withhere.
And that that relationship canbe maintained.
Question number seven, outsideof politics, does the
relationship bring value to yourlife?
Do you have shared memories,interests, or experiences?
Number eight, are you trying tochange each other's views or as
mutual understanding possible?
Number nine, can you toleratethe discomfort of disagreeing if
(12:56):
it means preserving therelationship?
And number ten, imagine how youwill feel if you reduce contact
or end the relationship.
Does this bring relief orregret?
I hope these questions give youan opportunity for deeper
processing and help.
guide you in making the decisionthat feels right to you.
The truth is, now more thanever, we do still need
(13:18):
connection, even in a world thatfeels divided.
Surrounding yourself withpositive community, of women and
other allies especially, can bevery healing to us.
This isn't just about findingsupport or finding people that
agree with us to surroundourselves with because we
actually need that discoursewith others who see the world
differently to be fully openminded and well rounded
(13:40):
individuals.
But to maintain our mentalhealth, it is important to find
support in order to amplify eachother's voices and create
collective actions.
Whether it's joining a woman'scircle, attending a support
group, or volunteering,connections like these remind us
that we're not alone and that wecan come together to try to
enact action that moves usforward as a society.
(14:02):
And don't underestimate thepower of technology to maintain
relationships or to form newones.
A quick text to check in on afriend can make a really big
difference.
And if you're able, especiallyconsider reaching out to women
that are in marginalizedcommunities or trans women who
may be feeling especiallyvulnerable.
and fearful in the politicalclimate that we are in right
now.
(14:22):
Since we're on the topic ofcoping and managing our mental
health in a contentiouspolitical environment, I need to
take a moment to talk about newsconsumption.
Staying informed is criticallyimportant, but exposure to
negative news can take a reallysignificant toll on our mental
health.
Biologically, physically, we arejust not designed to know about
(14:43):
or cope with all of the badthings happening across the
country, let alone across thewhole world, all at once.
So please do your best to find abalance that feels healthy and
sustainable for you.
Knowledge is power, but so isprotecting your peace.
Setting boundaries around yourmedia consumption can look like
limiting yourself to 10 minutesa day, curating your new sources
(15:05):
carefully and balancing newsconsumption with uplifting
activities that bring you joy,such as listening to music or
doing a gratitude practice.
You may also considersandwiching your news intake
between other joyful topics.
So, start out by sitting downand watching some puppy videos
or intentionally searching forgood news at the start of your
(15:26):
news intake session, and thenturn your attention towards
world news or news throughoutthe country, which is going to
have some challenging things init.
And then sandwich it again withthat new search of something
positive and joyful.
Remember, protecting your peaceis an act of resistance.
We don't need to be tuned intothe news all the time.
(15:47):
The patriarchy thrives whenwe're scared, overwhelmed, and
exhausted.
So the more that we can findbalance, the better we're going
to be able to take care ofourselves, those around us, and
take action to move us allforward.
Finally, Let's turn to talkingabout how we take grief and turn
it into empowerment.
No matter how hopeless we feelabout big events happening in
(16:07):
the world around us, we alwaysretain control over something.
Even if the only area that wehave left to control is how we
respond, that is something.
So when things feel sad,overwhelming, and like there's
nothing that you personally cando to make a Take a deep breath
and intentionally think aboutwhat is within your power to
control.
You do have the freedom tochoose what you do next.
(16:30):
That can look like taking thatdeep breath and taking a break
to engage in self care, or itcan look like taking action and
becoming an advocate for causesthat you believe in.
You can choose to follow, share,and support content created by
other women as a way to amplifyeach other's voices.
You can choose to supportcandidates who represent your
values by donating to theircampaigns, or even by running
(16:52):
for office yourself.
Even small actions like sharinga podcast or attending a local
protest, can make a bigdifference in a world where
managing your own mental healthcan be difficult.
Knowing that you are doingsomething, no matter how small,
will help you retain a sense ofstrength and resilience.
Remember, the patriarchy thriveswhen we're exhausted, afraid,
and divided.
(17:12):
So let's band together, takecare of ourselves, and find
balance.
Taking care of yourself andcontrolling what you can is a
radical act of defiance that wecan lean on today.
Today, we're diving into a topicthat's on a lot of our minds.
Coping with the emotionalaftermath of the 2024
presidential election and the2025 inauguration.
For many of us, the results ofthis election has brought up
feelings of grief, anger, and alot of fear for what lies ahead.
Let's unpack that together,explore why these emotions are
(00:50):
valid, and discuss strategies tomove forward with resilience and
purpose.
First, let's name what we'refeeling.
For many women, this electionfelt deeply personal, because it
is.
A guiding principle in feministtherapy is that the personal is
political, and in a patriarchalsociety, political losses often
translate to very personal ones.
(01:13):
This goes far beyond, yourcandidate didn't win, and we're
upset about that.
What we're talking about here isreal threats to our bodily
autonomy, healthcare, and ourfundamental human rights.
These are not abstract issues.
They affect our day to daylives.
So what we're experiencing hereis grief, and it's actually not
(01:33):
even just one kind of grief thatis present for women right now.
There's ambiguous grief forlosses that we can't fully
define yet.
There's collective grief sharedwith women across the country,
and even anticipatory grief aswe brace for future challenges
that are not fully known yet.
Naming these emotions andrecognizing their validity is a
(01:54):
really vital first step for allof us.
to move towards healing andaction.
Grief and collective traumaoften show up in ways that we
don't expect.
Physically, you might noticefatigue, headaches, or even a
sense of heaviness throughoutyour body.
Emotionally, grief can bring ahost of different feelings,
including anger, disbelief, orhopelessness.
(02:16):
Relationally, it might alsocause us to withdraw or become
more reactive with loved ones.
And then there's what we callhigh functioning depression.
you're going through themotions, going to work,
attending to family obligations,but everything just feels muted
if you're experiencing that highfunctioning depression.
The sparkle is gone, and evensmall tasks might feel
(02:38):
overwhelming.
These feelings are normal andexpected after a significant
loss.
But if they persist or theyworsen over the months to come,
it's really important to reachout for professional support.
So how do we cope with all ofthis grief and potentially
depression and anxiety?
We start with self compassion.
Allow yourself to feel andprocess these emotions without
(03:01):
judgment.
One way you can do this isthrough journaling.
It doesn't necessarily need tobe a structured task, it can be
a free flowing outlet for yourthoughts and feelings.
But for those who do needstructured journal prompts,
here's a few that you mayconsider.
What emotions am I experiencingas I reflect on the election
results, and where do I feelthese emotions in my body?
(03:21):
So essentially, with this one,you write about the grief, the
fear, the anger, or otheremotions that you may be feeling
when you think about this topic,or if you see news related to
this topic.
Consider how these emotions areshowing up physically and
mentally, and explore theirimpact on your life.
Bringing awareness to thesesymptoms are the first step to
managing them.
Number two, how do theseelection results challenge or
(03:45):
reaffirm my values, beliefs, orsense of safety in my community?
And what steps can I take tostay grounded in what matters
most to me?
This journal prompt, encouragesyou to really reflect on the
ways that results align orconflict with your personal
values.
the rights that you hold dear,and even your perception of
others in the society that youlive in.
Then it encourages you to try toidentify specific ways to
(04:08):
reconnect with your innerstrength or support causes that
uphold your beliefs.
Examples of this could includethings like going to therapy,
connecting with a group of likeminded friends, or scheduling a
series of self care activitieslike group exercise classes or
mental health days.
A third journal prompt that mayhelp you process this is, what
does resilience look like for mein this moment, and how can I
(04:31):
create a space of safety,comfort, or hope in the face of
uncertainty?
With this one, we explore whatresilience means to you
personally during this time, andthis can be small, so look at
the small, actionable ways tocare for yourself, such as
connecting with loved ones,participating in activism, or
finding solace in creatingspiritual practices or artwork.
(04:53):
In addition to journaling, Weencourage trying creative
expression to cope with griefand the distressing symptoms
produced by it.
You don't need to be an artistto process grief creatively.
Any time that you dedicate tocreating something, whether it's
art, music, writing, or evensomething completely abstract,
it all counts.
And if you want to try this butfeel stuck, try attending
(05:16):
something like a sip and paintclass or a creative course at
your local community collegethat really guides you through
creating a piece of artwork.
And if that's not really yourthing, we also have a great art
therapist on staff at Her TimeTherapy.
So reach out to us and ask for aconsultation with our art
therapist, Rhiannon.
Another powerful tool tomanaging grief and anxiety about
(05:39):
what comes next is mindfulness.
With this, we want to trysetting a reminder on your
phone, maybe three times a dayto start, that prompts you to
just take five minutes to stopwhatever you're doing and just
notice what's happening for youemotionally, mentally, and
physically.
During this pause, engage insome deep breathing exercises,
like boxed breathing, or thegrounding exercise that we call
(06:01):
the 1 method.
Both of these can really helpregulate your emotions and calm
your nervous system down in themoment.
Let's take a moment to practicethe 1 technique right now.
This exercise can be great forcalming anxiety and bringing
yourself back to the presentmoment.
So go ahead and take a deepbreath in.
(06:22):
and let it out, and let's begin.
Take a moment to look around youand name five things that you
can see.
These can be as simple as a bookon the table, the color of the
walls, or a tree outside yourwindow.
Take time to really just noticeand name each thing that you
see.
Now, focus on four things thatyou can feel.
(06:45):
Maybe it's the texture of yourclothing, the surface of the
chair that you're sitting in, orthe temperature of the air on
your skin.
Notice these sensations withoutjudgment.
Next, listen for three thingsyou can hear.
It might be the sound of yourbreathing, birds outside, or a
clock ticking.
(07:05):
Tune into the sounds around you,even the quiet ones.
Next, take another deep breathand notice two things that you
can smell.
Even if you can't detect anystrong smells, think of two
scents that you enjoy, like afreshly baked loaf of bread or
your favorite flour.
(07:26):
If you like, take a moment tograb something nearby to smell.
And lastly, notice one thingthat you can taste.
Maybe you just had a sip ofcoffee, gum, or water.
If you don't taste anything,just think about your favorite
flavor.
Take another deep breath in andout and notice how you feel now.
(07:51):
Whether you're feelingoverwhelmed or disconnected,
remember that you can use thisexercise to come back to the
present moment and remind yournervous system that you're not
in danger at this very second.
That things are okay and that wecan calm down enough to think
and take a moment to choose ournext action.
If you find yourself in aparticularly heated political
(08:13):
conversation, this 5 techniqueis a great one to practice to
help you stay grounded and incontrol of your responses.
However, we need the ability topause for a moment first so that
we can remember that we knowthis tool.
That's where another skillcalled the stop skill can come
into play.
The stop skill is actually anacronym for stop.
(08:36):
Take a step back.
Observe your feelings andproceed mindfully.
Some of our clients like topicture a big red stop sign in
their mind when they start tonotice that they are getting
emotionally dysregulated orheated by what's happening in
the moment.
So really, anytime that we feelthat emotional elevation rise up
within us, that heat, we want tonotice that big red stop sign
(08:59):
come up in our mind, in ourmind's eye, and we use the
imagery of that stop sign.
Okay.
To remind us to take a moment,take a pause, take a breath and
maybe give yourself a breakwhere you go to the restroom or
you step into another room andyou use that 54321 technique to
give you time to come down andfind the clarity to decide
(09:20):
whether to engage or disengageand to make that choice based on
what's best for you in thismoment rather than what others
are maybe pushing you to engagein.
We all have moments where it'sbest not to engage, and instead
choose to protect our peace.
But other times, it may be inour best interest, and even in
the world's best interest, toengage and to use our voice.
(09:43):
One of the hardest parts of thispost election landscape is
dealing with the relationshipsthat feel strained or
contentious.
So many of us, our clients, andthe friends and the family that
we speak with are strugglingwith the question, Should I just
cut ties with someone withopposite views?
Or is it possible to maintain agood relationship while setting
(10:04):
boundaries?
And truly, there is no one sizefits all answer to this dilemma.
One of the key reasons why thisis a difficult question is that
this election is different fromall before it.
Even the 2016 election.
This time around, people knewwhat they're voting for and who
the candidates are as people.
(10:24):
We know their values.
including if a candidate'svalues are to perpetuate hate
and discrimination, or if theyvalue acceptance, diversity, and
human rights for all.
It's hard to maintainrelationships with people who
voted for a candidate who holdsvalues that are personally,
physically, and emotionallyharmful to us.
This is not a choice of simplyseparating the person from their
(10:46):
political beliefs.
Because this really isn't adifference in perspective on
political party.
It's a difference in perspectiveon human rights.
And to help you reflect,process, and decide on how to
engage in relationships duringthis difficult political
climate, I recommend reallyreflecting on the 10 questions
that I'll share with you next,either by yourself, via
(11:07):
journaling, or even in sessionwith your therapist.
Number one.
How significant are yourpolitical differences?
And do they relate tofundamental values or policies
central to your identity?
Number two.
Can you separate the person fromtheir political beliefs?
Or does this change how you seethem?
(11:27):
Number three, do their politicalviews affect you personally,
affect your loved ones, or thecauses that you deeply care
about?
Number four, how do politicalconversations with this person
make you feel?
In other words, can you engagein civil discourse with this
person without it turningdisrespectful or abusive?
(11:47):
Number five, are they willing torespect boundaries around
political discussions?
Or can you agree to just avoidcertain topics and have that be
respected?
Number six, is the relationshipotherwise meaningful?
And if you choose to maintainthe connection because of this
other meaningful part of therelationship, can we hold those
(12:09):
key boundaries?
Do they respect it when you saysomething like, I really prefer
not to talk about politics rightnow, or let's actually focus on
what we have in common.
Those phrases can really helpsteer conversations away from
conflict, and if you have ameaningful relationship with a
lot of history with someone, andthey can honor those boundaries
and respect when you draw thatline, this may be a sign that
(12:32):
there's something to work withhere.
And that that relationship canbe maintained.
Question number seven, outsideof politics, does the
relationship bring value to yourlife?
Do you have shared memories,interests, or experiences?
Number eight, are you trying tochange each other's views or as
mutual understanding possible?
Number nine, can you toleratethe discomfort of disagreeing if
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it means preserving therelationship?
And number ten, imagine how youwill feel if you reduce contact
or end the relationship.
Does this bring relief orregret?
I hope these questions give youan opportunity for deeper
processing and help.
guide you in making the decisionthat feels right to you.
The truth is, now more thanever, we do still need
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connection, even in a world thatfeels divided.
Surrounding yourself withpositive community, of women and
other allies especially, can bevery healing to us.
This isn't just about findingsupport or finding people that
agree with us to surroundourselves with because we
actually need that discoursewith others who see the world
differently to be fully openminded and well rounded
(13:40):
individuals.
But to maintain our mentalhealth, it is important to find
support in order to amplify eachother's voices and create
collective actions.
Whether it's joining a woman'scircle, attending a support
group, or volunteering,connections like these remind us
that we're not alone and that wecan come together to try to
enact action that moves usforward as a society.
(14:02):
And don't underestimate thepower of technology to maintain
relationships or to form newones.
A quick text to check in on afriend can make a really big
difference.
And if you're able, especiallyconsider reaching out to women
that are in marginalizedcommunities or trans women who
may be feeling especiallyvulnerable.
and fearful in the politicalclimate that we are in right
now.
(14:22):
Since we're on the topic ofcoping and managing our mental
health in a contentiouspolitical environment, I need to
take a moment to talk about newsconsumption.
Staying informed is criticallyimportant, but exposure to
negative news can take a reallysignificant toll on our mental
health.
Biologically, physically, we arejust not designed to know about
(14:43):
or cope with all of the badthings happening across the
country, let alone across thewhole world, all at once.
So please do your best to find abalance that feels healthy and
sustainable for you.
Knowledge is power, but so isprotecting your peace.
Setting boundaries around yourmedia consumption can look like
limiting yourself to 10 minutesa day, curating your new sources
(15:05):
carefully and balancing newsconsumption with uplifting
activities that bring you joy,such as listening to music or
doing a gratitude practice.
You may also considersandwiching your news intake
between other joyful topics.
So, start out by sitting downand watching some puppy videos
or intentionally searching forgood news at the start of your
(15:26):
news intake session, and thenturn your attention towards
world news or news throughoutthe country, which is going to
have some challenging things init.
And then sandwich it again withthat new search of something
positive and joyful.
Remember, protecting your peaceis an act of resistance.
We don't need to be tuned intothe news all the time.
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The patriarchy thrives whenwe're scared, overwhelmed, and
exhausted.
So the more that we can findbalance, the better we're going
to be able to take care ofourselves, those around us, and
take action to move us allforward.
Finally, Let's turn to talkingabout how we take grief and turn
it into empowerment.
No matter how hopeless we feelabout big events happening in
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the world around us, we alwaysretain control over something.
Even if the only area that wehave left to control is how we
respond, that is something.
So when things feel sad,overwhelming, and like there's
nothing that you personally cando to make a Take a deep breath
and intentionally think aboutwhat is within your power to
control.
You do have the freedom tochoose what you do next.
(16:30):
That can look like taking thatdeep breath and taking a break
to engage in self care, or itcan look like taking action and
becoming an advocate for causesthat you believe in.
You can choose to follow, share,and support content created by
other women as a way to amplifyeach other's voices.
You can choose to supportcandidates who represent your
values by donating to theircampaigns, or even by running
(16:52):
for office yourself.
Even small actions like sharinga podcast or attending a local
protest, can make a bigdifference in a world where
managing your own mental healthcan be difficult.
Knowing that you are doingsomething, no matter how small,
will help you retain a sense ofstrength and resilience.
Remember, the patriarchy thriveswhen we're exhausted, afraid,
and divided.
(17:12):
So let's band together, takecare of ourselves, and find
balance.
Taking care of yourself andcontrolling what you can is a
radical act of defiance that wecan lean on today.
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