When Control Becomes the Cage: Letting Go of Anxious Safety Behaviors

In this episode, we dig into the quiet habits that masquerade as “self-care” but actually keep us trapped in anxiety, what therapists call safety behaviors. A safety behavior is anything you do to try to feel less anxious, uncertain, or uncomfortable in the moment. From mental reassurance loops to over-planning every possible outcome, these small acts are our brain’s way of begging for certainty. The trouble is, they work against us in the fight to manage anxiety.

We’ll explore how these patterns show up in everyday life (e.g., checking, avoiding, asking for validation) and how each one reinforces the belief that we can’t handle discomfort or uncertainty. We will explore how to respond more effectively. 

This is an invitation to meet uncertainty differently. To stop negotiating with fear and start experimenting with trust. If you’ve ever caught yourself thinking, “I just need to make sure,” this episode is for you.

See my companion substack (When Control Becomes the Cage) for a written copy of what we review in this episode. 

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With warmth,

Dr. Lauren Schaefer