Real Life & the Polyvagal Nerve

Send Emily a Message!

Explore the profound insights of the polyvagal theory, which connects our nervous system responses to emotional states. Recognizing signs of dysregulation and learning practical techniques can empower listeners to shift toward calmness and connection.

• Discusses the vagus nerve and its role in emotional regulation 
• Explains the polyvagal theory using the traffic light analogy 
• Identifies symptoms of fight or flight responses 
• Outlines signs of shutdown and emotional disconnect 
• Provides grounding techniques to manage anxiety 
• Suggests gentle activation practices for overcoming shutdown 
• Advocates for self-kindness as a method for healing 
• Encourages sharing insights and tools with friends for support 
• Emphasizes the importance of small, manageable changes for emotional well-being

Support the show

Want to give a one-time donation as a thank you?
Cash App me at $ItStartsAtVagus
Thank you!! I really appreciate your support 💗

Click the link to learn how to reset your vagus nerve to decrease stress & anxiety 👉🏻 ⁠https://mailchi.mp/itstartsatvagus/vagusreset⁠

Join our Facebook group 🤩 It Starts at Vagus

Episode Transcript

Emily (00:01):
Ever notice how your heart races when you're stressed
out or how sometimes you feellike shutting down completely
when life just gets overwhelming?
What if I told you there was aroadmap in your body that
connects all the dots andexplains it, and that we're able
to change how it makes you feel?
Well, that is the vagus nerve.
It connects all the dots to howwe feel physically, mentally.

(00:25):
And today we are going to talkabout the vagus nerve, but
specifically the polyvagaltheory and how it shows up in
your life.
So, hi, I'm Emily.
And It Starts at Vagus, wherewe dive into natural ways to
help calm our anxiety and stresswith the vagus nerve.
And today's episode is allabout the polyvagal theory and

(00:49):
how to recognize it when we'redysregulated.
We're going to talk about thesigns that you're in that fight
or flight or shutdown mode andthen simple, practical ways to
shift back into that calm,connected, happy, want to go
meet people kind of state ofmind.
First off, what is thepolyvagal theory?

(01:14):
Well, it is let's break thisdown the word poly means many
and vagal means vagus.
So the polyvagal theory talksabout the many pathways that the
vagus nerve takes and itexplains how our nervous system
responds to stress and safety.

(01:35):
So we're going to startthinking out how it looks like
with traffic lights.
One pathway of the vagus nerveis called the ventral and that
is your calm and connected stateof mind.
We're going to see it as thegreen light of emotional and
physical regulation.

(01:56):
Then we're going to talk aboutthe sympathetic nervous system
and that's when you're in likefight or flight and that is our
yellow light.
And then the dorsal, vagal partof the vagus nerve, that's the
red light where we just shutdown.
And so, like I said, ventralthat means more front and dorsal

(02:23):
means back.
And the way that I like toremember it is for the dorsal
part, the back part, when thatis signaling and going off, we
take a quote, unquote back seatto life.
So dorsal means back.
We take a back seat to what'sgoing on and we just shut down.
And the dysregulation happenswhen we get stuck in that yellow

(02:47):
or red state of mind.
So our sympathetic nervoussystem is going off and that
dorsal part of the vagus nerveis flaring and you're deciding
if you need to fight, fight orjust freeze.
So that's kind of the scienceand visual part for the
polyvagal theory.
But I want you to be able torecognize which one you're in so

(03:08):
that you can apply it to yourlife.
So that's where it brings usinto the signs of dysregulation
and what that could look like.
So, with the fight or flightsymptoms that is, the yellow
part of the traffic light you'regoing to feel more anxious,
irritable, kind of restless oreven possibly hyper-focused on

(03:31):
something.
Your heart's going to race andyou're kind of.
You're on that edge, so you'reedgy.
You're more sensitive to thelittler things, because you're
already sensitive.
It's aware, aware thatsomething's going on, and so
it's more sensitive toeverything to see ooh, is this
bad or good?

(03:52):
So that's where you can getthat hyper-focus, where it needs
to zone in on something, andyou just get irritable because
you're on guard.
So what that would look like isif you've ever had an argument
with someone and you can't stopreplaying it in your head.
It just keeps going over andover and over and that is going

(04:14):
to remind your brain all thetimes of every detail that went
into it.
You're going to gethyper-focused about what was
said or how it was said.
You're going to get more edgy,which will make you more anxious
, and it just kind of gets youstuck in that loop Versus.
If you get into that shutdown,that dorsal part, you're going

(04:36):
to feel numb and heavy,disconnected.
You want to avoid everything,everything.
That's where everybody likeshuts down hoodie, blankets, bed
and it can feel emotionallyexhausted or even feel like in a
depression state.
So when you just want to curlup and hide away and you don't

(04:58):
want to people anymore, you justwant to be by yourself and
hiding, and that is where that'sthat red light.
So now that, what do we do whenwe recognize that we're like
okay, great, I noticed that I amhiding in my bed.
Now what?
Well, now we kill our anxietyand stress with kindness.
We're nice to our body.

(05:20):
We recognize, hey, you'rehaving a hard time, let me help
you through this.
So we're going to shift out ofthat dysregulation mode into the
calm part, that green light.
When we're in that fight orflight, the yellow, we're going
to do grounding.
Grounding is super helpful.
Just take off your shoes, yoursocks, put your feet in the

(05:43):
grass, take some slow breaths,breathe in slowly, exhale, and
that is a good groundingtechnique.
But it's winter right now andit's cold and you're like that's
probably not going to be what Iwant to default to Great.
So maybe you can be in yourhouse and just start dancing and

(06:05):
moving in ways and my favoriteone is like to wiggle because
you can just activate all thesedifferent parts in your body
when you wiggle.
Or you want to connect to afriend, give your call, like
call your friend up and say hey,what are you doing?
Let's go meet for lunch and youcan have that eye contact with

(06:27):
people and they can help yourealize that you're in a safe
spot.
Nothing's coming at you at thismoment.
You might need to talk it out,but when you pick the right
friend, they're going to be likeokay, you are trying to help
yourself out here.
Let's go for lunch and justchat, maybe laugh.

(06:47):
It's a great tension release.
But if you're in that shutdownmode and you're hiding from the
world, you're like I am notgoing to go outside for lunch, I
am not going to see people, andthat is just where I'm at.
I am here in my space, okay,well, now we need to do some

(07:10):
gentle activation for yourself.
You need to start small,because you need that win right
away.
You need to get that reward.
So just wiggle your toes,stretch in your bed, maybe like
stand up and stretch, or again,just that gentle wiggling.
So maybe you're not in fulldance mode, maybe you just need

(07:35):
to sway and just feel thatrhythm of back and forth and if
it's possible, if you live withsomeone, you can just be like,
hey, can you just sit with me?
We don't have to talk, I justneed you to be here.
And if they like that physicaltouch and you like the physical

(07:57):
like, maybe just hold hands or ahug Hugs are great.
They give out all kinds ofhormones to help you feel better
and that again helps you have agentle, again, kill it with
kindness, a gentle way for youto start feeling safer so that
you want to start seeing peopleand then getting yourself out of

(08:20):
that shutdown mode.
You can also just step outsideeven a moment or let the
sunlight in.
I know that when we do shutdown, we often want to like
close the drapes and hide, butopen it up, let that sun come in
, let it hit your face, gooutside, take a breath or two of
fresh air and just disrupt thatshutdown.

(08:44):
And these are all tools that wecan help when we get
overstressed and overanxious,and these are just little things
that we can do.
Again, we want that easy win.
We do because it's overwhelmingand we're not trying to add
more to it, we're trying to makeit easier.
So we need easy tools.

(09:05):
You just have to so remember,when you're in that
dysregulation mode, it's yourbody's way of protecting you.
It's a really good thing, andthe goal isn't to fight it.
We need to recognize what'sgoing on in our body, physically

(09:26):
, mentally.
It's that body-mind connection.
Let those bells go off and say,hey, you're in this panic mode
right now.
How can we do something smalland easy to make it feel better
and then gently shift back intothat state of safety?
So start small.

(09:47):
Choose one tool that you feellike, okay, my main default is
to hide in my bed and just shuteverybody out.
We'll take one of these toolsand say, okay, I can wiggle, I
can wiggle, that's an easy thingto do, and then apply it.
So have a plan, because thesetend to be part of our life and

(10:12):
we just need to learn how toagain kill that stress with
kindness.
Be nice to yourself.
It really does feel good onceyou start it, and I hope that
these tools are helpful for youand share this episode with a
friend who might need it.
If you know that your friendthat you call for lunch, that
person has high anxiety, you cansay, hey, this is helping me

(10:33):
too.
And you can say, we both havestressful times or stressful
lives or overwhelming moments.
Share it with each other,because when you call up your
friend again, they're going tostart recognizing when you need
that help, and vice versa, andagain it just makes that
connection stronger.
So thank you for spending timewith me today.

(10:56):
Remember to breathe and to dosomething that makes you smile.
Thanks for listening to itStarts at Vagus.
If you enjoyed this episode,subscribe so you don't miss
what's coming next.
And if you're ready to take thenext step toward calm, grab my
free Vagus Nerve Reset video inthe show notes.
It's quick and easy way tostart feeling better today.

(11:17):
And until next time, rememberwellness starts at Vagus.