July 27, 2025 • 17 mins
Episode 16
Chatting About Shame,
Fixing..
Our Brains are Liars..
I would Love to Hear from You...
email sleeplessingranada@yahoo.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Hello and a huge big Scottish welcome.
Sleepless in Granada, episode16.
Today my furry girls are so fullof energy.
They're playing tag together.
Watching them so full of lifeand with so much energy makes my
heart zing.
Today I'm sipping a cafe conleche and I'm thinking, our
(00:22):
brains are liars.
Absolute liars.
Our brains believe what itrepeats.
not what's true.
Our thoughts create ourfeelings.
Our feelings drive our actions.
Our actions create our identityand our personality.
But our identity is plastic.
(00:43):
Our brain is constantlyrewiring.
So when we repeat something overand over again with enough
intention and emotion, we canchange our identity.
Self-talk isn't harmless.
It's like casting a spell.
Your brain and your body arelistening all the time.
So the more encouraging yourself-talk is, the stronger the
(01:06):
relationship you will have withyourself.
Your life will always reflectwho you believe yourself to be.
be.
This is why you will neveroutperform your self-image.
Your brain doesn't know thedifference between what is real
and what is imagined.
When you visualise the personyou want to be, how you want to
(01:28):
act, how you want to talk,you're achieving your goals.
You're rewiring your brain forsuccess.
You don't have thoughts, you arevisited by them.
You don't have to believe everythought that you think.
You don't think your way out ofa feeling you know, but you can
feel your way into a new way ofthinking.
(01:50):
All your unprocessed emotionsstay stored in your nervous
system.
The body is always keepingscore.
More than 90% of our behavior isautomatic.
It's run by the subconscious.
Your brain is a predictionmachine.
It constantly guesses what willhappen next based on old data.
(02:12):
So if you can program that data,you can change your future
forever.
Overthinking is underfeeling.
Are you an over thinker it mostlikely means that you are under
feeling suppressing some sort ofemotion and most of the time it
feels like things like guiltsadness rage or anger things
(02:33):
that we find very uncomfortableto feel the mind will come up
with 20 50 100 thoughts tobasically distract us from
feeling that feeling becauseit's so uncomfortable so painful
I was such a huge over thinker Iplayed out every situation and
every scenario, I wouldoverthink the way I behaved all
(02:54):
of the time.
By doing so, I was simplyunderfeeling that emotion.
Now I am aware of this and Idon't overthink anymore.
It was my coping mechanism indisguise.
Next time you startoverthinking, just ask yourself,
what am I underfeeling?
What am I not letting myselffeel?
Become aware of it.
(03:16):
Literally feel it and watchthoughts completely disappear.
Now that's powerful.
Next I'd like to chat about tworeactions that are fear
responses but no one reallytalks about them enough.
We all know about fight, flightand freeze but what about
fawning and fixing?
These can look like quieterstrategies that don't resemble
(03:37):
fear as much because theysneakily perform like
connections.
They are not.
Fawning is about appeasing.
It's a trauma response where youtry to avoid conflict, criticism
or harm by pacifying yourperson.
It's mostly rooted in fear andnot in kindness.
(03:58):
This is what fawning looks like.
It's avoiding your own wants andneeds to keep other people
happy.
It's saying yes when you want toscream no.
It's feeling responsible forother people's emotions.
It's struggling to expressanger, hate, disagreement So
when your partner says, I feltvery dismissed by you last
(04:19):
night, and instead of pausing,you go straight to, oh my God,
oh my God, I'm so sorry, I'm sosorry, I was tired.
I'll do better, I promise.
But the nervous system says, ifI can make you like me or make
you calm down, then I'll besafe.
I want reconnection at the costof being honest because being in
(04:41):
rupture is the scariest thing inthe planet.
It's a sort of overriding.
It's smiling when you want toshout and scream.
It's about over apologising andagreeing with them so you don't
lose them.
It's about being the biggerperson when inside your inner
warrior is on fire.
You basically become who theywant you to be.
(05:03):
You appease, you edit, youdownshift and it's fucking
exhausting.
Fawning often develops inenvironments where our safety
was tied to keeping others happyBeing assertive was punished and
ignored.
Where love always feltconditional.
Fawning is a survival strategy.
(05:23):
It's not a flaw.
You're not being too nice.
You're conditioned to survive inthe only way you know how.
But awareness is one steptowards healing.
Practice saying no.
Begin with small things.
Begin to notice how your bodyreacts to conflict.
Does your jaw clench?
Does your stomach tighten?
(05:45):
Does your throat close?
Work on your boundaries and yournon-negotiables.
This was the first step for mein rebuilding my self-trust.
Fixing.
Fixing is different.
It's about control.
Your partner says, I'm stillhurt about what happened last
week.
And before they even finish,you're already in mid-solution.
(06:07):
Okay, shall we have a mid-weekcheck-in moving forward?
Fixing is where we learned wehave the most value and have
been rewarded for it in thepast.
So it can come a completesurprise when it doesn't work
for you.
You may have come from a familythat never spoke about feelings
or emotions.
A family that rewarded externalvalidation, that rewarded
(06:30):
behaviour that looked reallygreat on the outside.
You have also been rewarded forit in the outside world and it
has probably gotten you whereyou want to go.
You have seen that it works foryou so you keep doing it because
it's how you've gotten some ofyour success.
You have learned that fixing anddoing, doing, doing is way safer
(06:53):
than occupying the emotionalspace in your body.
Both adaptations have a hardtime sitting in tension.
Instead you rush to,everything's okay, everything's
okay.
before anything has actuallylanded.
Because here's the problem.
When you're sprinting towards aresolution, just to get your
(07:14):
body to shut the fuck up, you'renot actually in connection.
So the first thing to do is juststart to be aware that you're
doing it.
Start to be aware that there's amoment that starts feeling so
uncomfortable.
So don't move towards it.
Move away from it.
Stop.
(07:35):
Just stop.
Stop saying, that's just how Iam.
It's the biggest lie you haveever told.
Bet you've said it before.
Oh, I'm not a social person.
Oh, I don't like taking risks.
That's not who you are.
That's who you became to feelsafe.
That's your coping strategy indisguise.
(07:58):
You built this personalityaround protection, not power.
Most of what we callpersonality, it's really just
patterns, self-protection.
You're not quiet.
You're just cautious.
Because once you got yourfeelings hurt, you're not
indecisive.
You learned that choosing wronghad consequences and you were
(08:19):
punished.
None of this is who you are.
It's who you learn to be inorder to survive.
I don't blame you.
I learned these behaviors too.
It's called survival.
Us humans are social creatures.
We want to be accepted into thetribe.
It's a protective mechanism inour brains.
(08:40):
Really weird, isn't it?
Our brains don't buildidentities.
They build shields to protectus.
When we experience humiliation,rejection, shame, embarrassment,
etc., our nervous system kicksin and it takes mental notes.
And then it whispers, don'ttrust too fast.
(09:01):
Don't speak up.
It's not safe.
So over time, we stop doingthese things.
Eventually, we even stop trying.
That's when we convinceourselves and we tell everyone,
this is just who I am.
Stop it.
Stop it now.
Here's a question for you.
What do you think most of us getwrong about how we communicate?
(09:24):
It's that we think thatarguments are something to win,
not something to unravel.
Arguments are like knots in theconversation and what happens is
you pull your way and I pull myway.
As opposed to saying, how can weunravel this?
How can we smooth it out?
(09:45):
Never win an argument.
Anytime there is any kind ofmiscommunication, it's because
what is sent is not what'sreceived.
So what you thought you said isnot what they heard.
The question should always be,what did you hear?
What did you hear when I justsaid that?
(10:05):
I know what I meant, but I needknow what did you hear?
Help me with this, Nott.
Remember, when arguing, try toremember and say, please tell
me, what did you hear?
It worked for me.
I'll tell you, life is no joke.
Sometimes it punches you in thegut just so hard you can't even
get up.
So how do we manage and not letemotions take the wheel?
(10:28):
Understand this.
Life really doesn't give a shitif we're ready or not.
Work still piles up.
Are people still disappoint us?
And things go wrong.
It doesn't mean that you need tostay calm all the time.
It means that you can recover.
You can move on.
Move forward without diggingyourself into a shitstorm.
(10:51):
The key isn't about avoidingyour emotions.
It's learning how to managethem.
You've got to know how you reactwhen things go wrong.
What do you do?
Do you overthink, pretendeverything is fine, or do you
crash out?
Just paying attention to ourpatterns without judgment is
step one.
It's okay to mentally check outwhen feeling completely
(11:14):
overwhelmed.
That awareness gives you thespace to do something different
the next time.
But before that, you need toshift your thinking.
So instead of saying, thisalways happens to me, I can't
deal with it, you catch yourselfand you say, okay, this is shit.
But what can I do right now?
Life will throw all the shit itcan at you at once.
(11:35):
You just need to build up yourtolerance to do it gradually.
It's like doing weight trainingin the gym.
It's one step at a time.
You build mental toughness onesmall challenge at a time.
You must prepare yourself andnot get mentally injured.
You must learn to respond andnot to react.
Remember, you're not broken ifthe pressure gets to you.
(11:57):
Believe me, it gets to everyone.
Emotional resilience gives you alittle more headspace between
what has happened and how yourespond.
And that space, that's whereyour power lives.
Go on, tap into it.
It's amazing.
How do you know when someone issafe for your nervous system?
(12:18):
It's not how long you've knownthem.
It's not how much you laughtogether.
It's how they respond to yourvulnerability.
Do they hold it or do theyweaponise it?
Do they listen or do they getdefensive?
Do they stay in the present ordo they shut down?
Because the ones that are safewon't make you shrink or second
(12:39):
guess.
They will make your systemregulate.
You can't fake that response.
Shame is a silent wound.
Shame doesn't just say, you didsomething wrong.
It says you are the somethingwrong and that kind of belief It
doesn't scream from therooftops.
It hides and festers in themucky black corners of your
(13:01):
mind.
It burrows into your nervoussystem, into your voice, your
posture, your choices, yourtruth.
It becomes the reason you don'tspeak up, or why you feel like
you have to prove yourself to begood, or why you keep people at
a distance, even when you'restarving for love and closeness.
(13:22):
Where does this shame come from?
Shame Shame is often inheritedor it's imposed on you.
It's not chosen.
It's what you were made to feelfor being different, for needing
something others couldn't give,for the survival strategies you
clung to just to make it throughto another day, for the parts of
(13:43):
you that were too loud, tooemotional, too sensitive, too
much.
Shame forms itself around allyour cracks and then whispers,
you are the crack Shame shadowsyour expression.
You may not say, I feel shameout loud, but it may look like
(14:03):
this.
People pleasing to avoidcriticism.
Perfection as protection.
Being hypervigilant in case youare misunderstood.
Constantly apologising.
Even breathing.
Anger at others that masks theshame inside.
Self-sabotage because deepshame.
Deep down, you don't deservegood stuff.
(14:25):
Shame is loud in the way we hurtourselves before others get the
chance to.
Shame feels familiar.
The hardest thing about shame isthat it can start to feel like
the truth.
If you have worn it, Longenough, it doesn't feel like a
wound.
It feels like who you are.
This is why it can be so verydifficult to let it go.
(14:46):
Not because you want to holdonto it, but because it became
your armor, your map, yourmeasure of safety.
Shame needs a witness.
Shame thrives in silence.
It grows stronger in completeisolation.
That's why healing shame oftenstarts by letting it be seen,
not by everyone, maybe byyourself, maybe by someone who's
(15:09):
earned the right to hold it.
Maybe you could start writing itdown or speaking about it out
loud.
Shame loses all its power whenit's brought from the darkness
into your light, gently, safely,and without demand.
Shame often shows up ascollapsing posture, avoiding eye
contact, feeling frozen or numb,or a sudden need to run, run,
(15:33):
run away and hide.
Give yourself comfort beforetrying to fix the feeling.
My journal prompts on how tomeet my shame with compassion.
I used to write, number one,what part of me feels the most
unworthy and when did this storybegin?
Number two, what did I learn wasbad about me and who or what
(15:56):
taught me this?
Number three, if I could speakto the version of me who first
felt this shame, what would Isay to that person?
Number four, what part of me amI still hiding in order to be
loved, accepted or safe?
And number five, what might itlook like if that part of me
(16:17):
showed up with kindness andgentleness instead of judgment?
Shame would tell me repeatedly,you must be small to be safe.
But I learned the parts that Ihad buried, they were not my
curse.
They were my cue to my softness,to my power, to the version of
me that was never meant to be inhiding.
This was the beginning.
(16:39):
I was now turning toward whatI'd spent my lifetime avoiding.
I believe the biggest need onthe entire planet is to do the
inner work, the healing work.
Every single problem that weface today in this world has
been caused by a hurting littlechild inside the body of an
adult who has been disconnectedfrom the truth, disconnected
(17:01):
from love.
When we take a step back andthink of the root cause,
somewhere along the line, Alittle child stopped feeling
loved, stopped feeling safe,stopped feeling appreciated and
accepted, seen or validated.
So what did that little childdo?
They abandoned themselves andthey abandoned everyone else
because they no longer feltsafe.
(17:23):
I'm glad that one's over with.
That was hard.
Everything I chat about on mypodcasts are simply my point of
view and life lived experiences.
I'm in no way an expert.
Thank you so much for listening.
I'd love to hear from you.
Email me at sleeplessingrenadaat yahoo.com.
(17:43):
Next episode to follow soon.
Hello and a huge big Scottish welcome.
Sleepless in Granada, episode16.
Today my furry girls are so fullof energy.
They're playing tag together.
Watching them so full of lifeand with so much energy makes my
heart zing.
Today I'm sipping a cafe conleche and I'm thinking, our
(00:22):
brains are liars.
Absolute liars.
Our brains believe what itrepeats.
not what's true.
Our thoughts create ourfeelings.
Our feelings drive our actions.
Our actions create our identityand our personality.
But our identity is plastic.
(00:43):
Our brain is constantlyrewiring.
So when we repeat something overand over again with enough
intention and emotion, we canchange our identity.
Self-talk isn't harmless.
It's like casting a spell.
Your brain and your body arelistening all the time.
So the more encouraging yourself-talk is, the stronger the
(01:06):
relationship you will have withyourself.
Your life will always reflectwho you believe yourself to be.
be.
This is why you will neveroutperform your self-image.
Your brain doesn't know thedifference between what is real
and what is imagined.
When you visualise the personyou want to be, how you want to
(01:28):
act, how you want to talk,you're achieving your goals.
You're rewiring your brain forsuccess.
You don't have thoughts, you arevisited by them.
You don't have to believe everythought that you think.
You don't think your way out ofa feeling you know, but you can
feel your way into a new way ofthinking.
(01:50):
All your unprocessed emotionsstay stored in your nervous
system.
The body is always keepingscore.
More than 90% of our behavior isautomatic.
It's run by the subconscious.
Your brain is a predictionmachine.
It constantly guesses what willhappen next based on old data.
(02:12):
So if you can program that data,you can change your future
forever.
Overthinking is underfeeling.
Are you an over thinker it mostlikely means that you are under
feeling suppressing some sort ofemotion and most of the time it
feels like things like guiltsadness rage or anger things
(02:33):
that we find very uncomfortableto feel the mind will come up
with 20 50 100 thoughts tobasically distract us from
feeling that feeling becauseit's so uncomfortable so painful
I was such a huge over thinker Iplayed out every situation and
every scenario, I wouldoverthink the way I behaved all
(02:54):
of the time.
By doing so, I was simplyunderfeeling that emotion.
Now I am aware of this and Idon't overthink anymore.
It was my coping mechanism indisguise.
Next time you startoverthinking, just ask yourself,
what am I underfeeling?
What am I not letting myselffeel?
Become aware of it.
(03:16):
Literally feel it and watchthoughts completely disappear.
Now that's powerful.
Next I'd like to chat about tworeactions that are fear
responses but no one reallytalks about them enough.
We all know about fight, flightand freeze but what about
fawning and fixing?
These can look like quieterstrategies that don't resemble
(03:37):
fear as much because theysneakily perform like
connections.
They are not.
Fawning is about appeasing.
It's a trauma response where youtry to avoid conflict, criticism
or harm by pacifying yourperson.
It's mostly rooted in fear andnot in kindness.
(03:58):
This is what fawning looks like.
It's avoiding your own wants andneeds to keep other people
happy.
It's saying yes when you want toscream no.
It's feeling responsible forother people's emotions.
It's struggling to expressanger, hate, disagreement So
when your partner says, I feltvery dismissed by you last
(04:19):
night, and instead of pausing,you go straight to, oh my God,
oh my God, I'm so sorry, I'm sosorry, I was tired.
I'll do better, I promise.
But the nervous system says, ifI can make you like me or make
you calm down, then I'll besafe.
I want reconnection at the costof being honest because being in
(04:41):
rupture is the scariest thing inthe planet.
It's a sort of overriding.
It's smiling when you want toshout and scream.
It's about over apologising andagreeing with them so you don't
lose them.
It's about being the biggerperson when inside your inner
warrior is on fire.
You basically become who theywant you to be.
(05:03):
You appease, you edit, youdownshift and it's fucking
exhausting.
Fawning often develops inenvironments where our safety
was tied to keeping others happyBeing assertive was punished and
ignored.
Where love always feltconditional.
Fawning is a survival strategy.
(05:23):
It's not a flaw.
You're not being too nice.
You're conditioned to survive inthe only way you know how.
But awareness is one steptowards healing.
Practice saying no.
Begin with small things.
Begin to notice how your bodyreacts to conflict.
Does your jaw clench?
Does your stomach tighten?
(05:45):
Does your throat close?
Work on your boundaries and yournon-negotiables.
This was the first step for mein rebuilding my self-trust.
Fixing.
Fixing is different.
It's about control.
Your partner says, I'm stillhurt about what happened last
week.
And before they even finish,you're already in mid-solution.
(06:07):
Okay, shall we have a mid-weekcheck-in moving forward?
Fixing is where we learned wehave the most value and have
been rewarded for it in thepast.
So it can come a completesurprise when it doesn't work
for you.
You may have come from a familythat never spoke about feelings
or emotions.
A family that rewarded externalvalidation, that rewarded
(06:30):
behaviour that looked reallygreat on the outside.
You have also been rewarded forit in the outside world and it
has probably gotten you whereyou want to go.
You have seen that it works foryou so you keep doing it because
it's how you've gotten some ofyour success.
You have learned that fixing anddoing, doing, doing is way safer
(06:53):
than occupying the emotionalspace in your body.
Both adaptations have a hardtime sitting in tension.
Instead you rush to,everything's okay, everything's
okay.
before anything has actuallylanded.
Because here's the problem.
When you're sprinting towards aresolution, just to get your
(07:14):
body to shut the fuck up, you'renot actually in connection.
So the first thing to do is juststart to be aware that you're
doing it.
Start to be aware that there's amoment that starts feeling so
uncomfortable.
So don't move towards it.
Move away from it.
Stop.
(07:35):
Just stop.
Stop saying, that's just how Iam.
It's the biggest lie you haveever told.
Bet you've said it before.
Oh, I'm not a social person.
Oh, I don't like taking risks.
That's not who you are.
That's who you became to feelsafe.
That's your coping strategy indisguise.
(07:58):
You built this personalityaround protection, not power.
Most of what we callpersonality, it's really just
patterns, self-protection.
You're not quiet.
You're just cautious.
Because once you got yourfeelings hurt, you're not
indecisive.
You learned that choosing wronghad consequences and you were
(08:19):
punished.
None of this is who you are.
It's who you learn to be inorder to survive.
I don't blame you.
I learned these behaviors too.
It's called survival.
Us humans are social creatures.
We want to be accepted into thetribe.
It's a protective mechanism inour brains.
(08:40):
Really weird, isn't it?
Our brains don't buildidentities.
They build shields to protectus.
When we experience humiliation,rejection, shame, embarrassment,
etc., our nervous system kicksin and it takes mental notes.
And then it whispers, don'ttrust too fast.
(09:01):
Don't speak up.
It's not safe.
So over time, we stop doingthese things.
Eventually, we even stop trying.
That's when we convinceourselves and we tell everyone,
this is just who I am.
Stop it.
Stop it now.
Here's a question for you.
What do you think most of us getwrong about how we communicate?
(09:24):
It's that we think thatarguments are something to win,
not something to unravel.
Arguments are like knots in theconversation and what happens is
you pull your way and I pull myway.
As opposed to saying, how can weunravel this?
How can we smooth it out?
(09:45):
Never win an argument.
Anytime there is any kind ofmiscommunication, it's because
what is sent is not what'sreceived.
So what you thought you said isnot what they heard.
The question should always be,what did you hear?
What did you hear when I justsaid that?
(10:05):
I know what I meant, but I needknow what did you hear?
Help me with this, Nott.
Remember, when arguing, try toremember and say, please tell
me, what did you hear?
It worked for me.
I'll tell you, life is no joke.
Sometimes it punches you in thegut just so hard you can't even
get up.
So how do we manage and not letemotions take the wheel?
(10:28):
Understand this.
Life really doesn't give a shitif we're ready or not.
Work still piles up.
Are people still disappoint us?
And things go wrong.
It doesn't mean that you need tostay calm all the time.
It means that you can recover.
You can move on.
Move forward without diggingyourself into a shitstorm.
(10:51):
The key isn't about avoidingyour emotions.
It's learning how to managethem.
You've got to know how you reactwhen things go wrong.
What do you do?
Do you overthink, pretendeverything is fine, or do you
crash out?
Just paying attention to ourpatterns without judgment is
step one.
It's okay to mentally check outwhen feeling completely
(11:14):
overwhelmed.
That awareness gives you thespace to do something different
the next time.
But before that, you need toshift your thinking.
So instead of saying, thisalways happens to me, I can't
deal with it, you catch yourselfand you say, okay, this is shit.
But what can I do right now?
Life will throw all the shit itcan at you at once.
(11:35):
You just need to build up yourtolerance to do it gradually.
It's like doing weight trainingin the gym.
It's one step at a time.
You build mental toughness onesmall challenge at a time.
You must prepare yourself andnot get mentally injured.
You must learn to respond andnot to react.
Remember, you're not broken ifthe pressure gets to you.
(11:57):
Believe me, it gets to everyone.
Emotional resilience gives you alittle more headspace between
what has happened and how yourespond.
And that space, that's whereyour power lives.
Go on, tap into it.
It's amazing.
How do you know when someone issafe for your nervous system?
(12:18):
It's not how long you've knownthem.
It's not how much you laughtogether.
It's how they respond to yourvulnerability.
Do they hold it or do theyweaponise it?
Do they listen or do they getdefensive?
Do they stay in the present ordo they shut down?
Because the ones that are safewon't make you shrink or second
(12:39):
guess.
They will make your systemregulate.
You can't fake that response.
Shame is a silent wound.
Shame doesn't just say, you didsomething wrong.
It says you are the somethingwrong and that kind of belief It
doesn't scream from therooftops.
It hides and festers in themucky black corners of your
(13:01):
mind.
It burrows into your nervoussystem, into your voice, your
posture, your choices, yourtruth.
It becomes the reason you don'tspeak up, or why you feel like
you have to prove yourself to begood, or why you keep people at
a distance, even when you'restarving for love and closeness.
(13:22):
Where does this shame come from?
Shame Shame is often inheritedor it's imposed on you.
It's not chosen.
It's what you were made to feelfor being different, for needing
something others couldn't give,for the survival strategies you
clung to just to make it throughto another day, for the parts of
(13:43):
you that were too loud, tooemotional, too sensitive, too
much.
Shame forms itself around allyour cracks and then whispers,
you are the crack Shame shadowsyour expression.
You may not say, I feel shameout loud, but it may look like
(14:03):
this.
People pleasing to avoidcriticism.
Perfection as protection.
Being hypervigilant in case youare misunderstood.
Constantly apologising.
Even breathing.
Anger at others that masks theshame inside.
Self-sabotage because deepshame.
Deep down, you don't deservegood stuff.
(14:25):
Shame is loud in the way we hurtourselves before others get the
chance to.
Shame feels familiar.
The hardest thing about shame isthat it can start to feel like
the truth.
If you have worn it, Longenough, it doesn't feel like a
wound.
It feels like who you are.
This is why it can be so verydifficult to let it go.
(14:46):
Not because you want to holdonto it, but because it became
your armor, your map, yourmeasure of safety.
Shame needs a witness.
Shame thrives in silence.
It grows stronger in completeisolation.
That's why healing shame oftenstarts by letting it be seen,
not by everyone, maybe byyourself, maybe by someone who's
(15:09):
earned the right to hold it.
Maybe you could start writing itdown or speaking about it out
loud.
Shame loses all its power whenit's brought from the darkness
into your light, gently, safely,and without demand.
Shame often shows up ascollapsing posture, avoiding eye
contact, feeling frozen or numb,or a sudden need to run, run,
(15:33):
run away and hide.
Give yourself comfort beforetrying to fix the feeling.
My journal prompts on how tomeet my shame with compassion.
I used to write, number one,what part of me feels the most
unworthy and when did this storybegin?
Number two, what did I learn wasbad about me and who or what
(15:56):
taught me this?
Number three, if I could speakto the version of me who first
felt this shame, what would Isay to that person?
Number four, what part of me amI still hiding in order to be
loved, accepted or safe?
And number five, what might itlook like if that part of me
(16:17):
showed up with kindness andgentleness instead of judgment?
Shame would tell me repeatedly,you must be small to be safe.
But I learned the parts that Ihad buried, they were not my
curse.
They were my cue to my softness,to my power, to the version of
me that was never meant to be inhiding.
This was the beginning.
(16:39):
I was now turning toward whatI'd spent my lifetime avoiding.
I believe the biggest need onthe entire planet is to do the
inner work, the healing work.
Every single problem that weface today in this world has
been caused by a hurting littlechild inside the body of an
adult who has been disconnectedfrom the truth, disconnected
(17:01):
from love.
When we take a step back andthink of the root cause,
somewhere along the line, Alittle child stopped feeling
loved, stopped feeling safe,stopped feeling appreciated and
accepted, seen or validated.
So what did that little childdo?
They abandoned themselves andthey abandoned everyone else
because they no longer feltsafe.
(17:23):
I'm glad that one's over with.
That was hard.
Everything I chat about on mypodcasts are simply my point of
view and life lived experiences.
I'm in no way an expert.
Thank you so much for listening.
I'd love to hear from you.
Email me at sleeplessingrenadaat yahoo.com.
(17:43):
Next episode to follow soon.
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