May 8, 2025 • 34 mins
What if the secret to living with more joy isn't trying to eliminate stress, but transforming how your nervous system responds to it? In this illuminating conversation with yoga therapist and mindfulness coach Rachel, we explore the fascinating relationship between our brain's stress response and our ability to experience gratitude, optimism, and resilience.
Rachel explains how stress literally narrows our vision, making us see only what's wrong while missing what's right. When we're overwhelmed, our nervous system shifts into fight-flight-freeze mode, making it nearly impossible to access positive emotions or see creative solutions. But through simple mindfulness practices, we can train ourselves to maintain a broader perspective even when challenges arise.
The conversation reveals startling insights about our daily habits – like how checking your phone first thing in the morning floods your body with stress hormones before you've even had breakfast. Instead, Rachel suggests practicing "embodied gratitude," where you physically experience positive sensations in your body rather than just mentally listing things you're thankful for. This seemingly small shift activates your parasympathetic nervous system, creating a physiological state of calm that makes subsequent challenges more manageable.
We dive deep into how self-talk dramatically influences stress levels, with Rachel introducing the concept of "self-friendliness" – talking to yourself with the same supportive tone you'd use with a good friend. This internal dialogue isn't just psychological comfort; it creates measurable changes in how your body processes stress hormones.
For those seeking practical applications, Rachel shares a range of accessible practices, from facial relaxation techniques that signal safety to your brain, to mindful moments between work tasks, to "screenless Sundays" that create space for genuine restoration. The beauty of her approach lies in its simplicity – start with just one two-minute practice attached to something you already do daily, and build from there.
Ready to shift from surviving to thriving? Listen now to discover how small mindfulness practices can help you see life's full picture and reclaim your natural capacity for joy.
https://www.LifeIsDelicious.ca/bookshelf ( Happy Is Not An Accident)
Find Marnie Martin here:
Website : https://www.LifeIsDelicious.ca ( Podcast) and
https://www.MarnieMartin.com ( Voice Over )
Email: marnie@marniemartin.com
Join the FREE Facebook Community here:
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Connect with Rachel:
Website : https://www.rachelposner.com
Nervous system regulation practice:
https://www.rachelposner.com/take-5-practice
7-day membership trial: https://yourbrainonmindfulness.rachelposner.com/your-yoga-a-virtual-community-member
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey, beautiful friend , it's Marnie.
Oh my gosh, I am so glad tohave you here today.
As you know, this podcast isall about living our best life,
but it's really hard to feelvibrant and centered when we are
being bombarded by stress andwe all have it and while
everyone experiences stressdifferently.
Today's guest is gonna walk usthrough some ways we can get
(00:24):
more grounded and diffuse thestressors when they come, by
activating more gratitude andlearning how to build more
resilience in our daily lives,by the intersection between
mindfulness, neuroscience andpsychology, specifically
(00:46):
focusing on best practices forthe mind, body and brain.
And she's going to teach us howto feel more calm, connection
and engagement in our dailylives.
You are going to love thisepisode.
Welcome to this.
Episode of Life is Delicious.
Do you ever feel like midlifehas you running on an endless
(01:08):
hamster wheel ofresponsibilities while your own
dreams just gather dust?
Is the crazy chaos of caringfor everyone else leaving you
exhausted and overwhelmed?
And is the hormonal hurricaneof menopause threatening to
derail your sanity?
Are you in desperate need ofsome self-care, balance and
reconnection with your truestself?
(01:29):
If so, then I'm so glad you'rehere.
This podcast isn't aboutsurviving midlife.
It's about crafting a nextchapter overflowing with purpose
, joy and deliciouspossibilities.
I'm Marni Martin, amulti-passionate entrepreneur,
daughter and a hot midlife mama,literally, and over the last
(01:51):
decade I've been through careerpivots, a divorce and a survived
the empty nest only to have itfill up again.
I spent the next several yearstraveling miles and miles every
month to care for my elderlyparents, and my time and
attention was so torn in everydirection that I lost track of
who I was, and I found myself inan endless cycle of people
(02:13):
pleasing, putting out fires and,frankly, running on empty.
I know how it feels to be stuckin chronic overwhelm, stress
and chaos and, trust me, it'snot a pretty picture.
I decided that it was time totake my own life and health back
.
I worked hard to reclaim myhealth through radical self-care
(02:33):
practices, recalibrating mynervous system and setting
healthy boundaries that allowedme to start living my life on
purpose again.
I'm here to show you thatmidlife doesn't have to be a
crisis, but instead a beautifulinvitation to prioritize
yourself again.
If you're ready to take backyour joie de vivre, then pop in
(02:55):
those earbuds and let's go getit.
Welcome to the show, rachel.
We have so much to talk abouttoday, but before we get into it
, tell the listeners a littlebit about you and your specialty
.
I know you've got some reallygreat information to share.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Yeah, I'm thrilled to be here.
I'm Rachel and I'm a yogatherapist and a mindfulness
coach, and I love helping peoplereduce stress, build resilience
, just experience more positivefeelings in their life.
I feel like we live in a worldwhere we tend to have fears and
anxiety sort of thrown at us allday long, and it is a real
(03:33):
skill to shift into optimism.
It's difficult these days, butthere are practices that can
help us do that Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Well, I mean, I like to think of myself as an eternal
optimist and I practicegratitude regularly, but I have
really noticed over the lastlittle while, with some of my
other menopause symptoms, that Ican find myself in a bit of a
freeze sometimes when overwhelmkicks in, even though I don't
(04:02):
normally struggle typically withanxiety.
So talk to us about thedifferent factors that can
really affect how we navigateour way through our day.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
You know, the biggest factor is what is the state of
your nervous system.
So our nervous system is whatsends us into fight, flight or
freeze or holds us in that sortof calmer, more grounded,
parasympathetic state.
And when stressors come at uswhich they do all day long we
can either see that stressor asa challenge or it can feel
(04:36):
overwhelming and tip us intothat kind of fight, flight or
freeze state.
When we see it as a challengeand something to take on, we
build resilience and we kind ofnourish that part of ourselves
that builds confidence throughstress.
But when our stress responsekicks in because that stressor
is a little bit too challengingfor us in the moment, we lose
(04:58):
confidence, we feel lessresilient and we feel more
pessimistic about the world.
So so much of it is.
How can I keep myself balancedthroughout the day so that when
the next stressor comes in I canfeel it as a challenge and I
can still notice what the silverlining is, what's positive
about this challenge that'sbeing offered?
And oftentimes the morestressors that come in, the more
(05:20):
we start to tip towards thatnervous system dysregulation.
So if I wake up at a one andthen right away I have three
stressors come in.
By the time I really fullystart my day, I'm already at a
four, and I don't do as good ofa job with stressors when I'm at
a four or a six or an eight asI would at a one.
So a big piece of how we keep amore optimistic mind frame is
(05:43):
keeping our nervous system incheck so that we can see the
full picture.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
I have been in menopause for a while now, but
last year I finally got myparents moved into an assisted
living place and we sold ourfamily home and moved them and
at the end of it all my nervoussystem was in really bad shape.
I had aches and pains, I had aton of inflammation in my
(06:08):
shoulders and my knees, I wasbloated all the time.
There was just a ton ofsymptoms and I was exhausted and
I just obviously hadn't beentaking care of myself.
So a group of my friends and Itook a class on understanding
cortisol and I learned so muchthat I didn't know about my body
, and one of the things thatcame up was how we actually
(06:29):
trigger our own stress responsewithout even knowing it.
When we grab our phone whilewe're still in bed, even when
we're relaxed and just waking upin the morning, we begin to
deal with texts and emails andbefore we've even had a cup of
coffee, we're stressed out.
Do you find that that's acommon theme with your clients?
Speaker 2 (06:49):
I do.
I do so so much of how we keepthat kind of balanced viewpoint.
So one of the things thathappens when we're stressed is
our viewpoint narrows.
So I always say you know, aglass half empty versus a glass
half full.
It's all about the way that weare coming to the like, what
perspective we're sitting withwhen we have an issue in front
(07:10):
of us, and when we are in thatkind of more dysregulated
stressful experience, our visionnarrows and so we are more
likely to see that glass as halfempty.
So when we talk about you know,oftentimes in positive
psychology we're talking aboutsort of putting a happy spin on
everything.
This is not what I'm talkingabout.
(07:30):
I'm talking about seeing thefull picture.
And the full picture in thatglass or in that stressor in
front of you is not all bad.
But when we are really stressedwe only see the negative
because our brain is trained tosee the negative first.
So the practices we need tobring in in order to hold on to
that more optimistic state is tosee the full picture, to not
(07:52):
just focus in on the negative.
So when the first thing I do ispick up my phone, if what I'm
doing is bringing myself into alens of what is wrong in the
world right now, or whatstressors do I have in front of
me.
I'm actually decreasing thefull picture.
I'm only allowing myself to seewhat's difficult, and of course
that's going to raise my stresslevel.
(08:13):
But if I do things first thingin the morning, throughout the
day, that brings in the fullpicture.
That reminds me of what'sactually good.
What's good about my stressors?
What's good about the places inmy life where I'm not stressed?
There are plenty of amazingthings that are happening in my
life, but I lose track of themif I'm solely focused on the
stressors.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
Interesting.
I never heard it described thatway before, as narrowing the
lens.
So what advice would you givefor an alternative way that we
can start our day in terms ofbringing that calm, relaxed,
bigger picture view into focusbefore we step into the
stressors?
Speaker 2 (08:53):
I think it's just giving yourself a couple of
minutes to attend to what's goodso I can attend to what's not,
and then I will raise my stresslevel, I will feel a little
yucky, I'll feel more anxious,I'll start to spin through
what's negative in my life or Ican attend to what's good.
So the more space you giveyourself to attend to what's
(09:13):
good, the more you will keepyour nervous system regulated
for lots of reasons.
One of them is thatexperiencing things like
gratitude and optimism turn onour parasympathetic nervous
system, helps us tophysiologically stay more
relaxed, but it also, of course,boosts our mood.
When I think about somethingthat feels good in my life, I'm
(09:33):
going to feel better.
So I like to practice embodiedgratitude, which means, instead
of just taking a minute to kindof write down or list a few
things I'm grateful for, insteadI will bring a moment in.
It could be the moment I'm in.
Maybe I feel so cozy, I haven'tgotten out of bed yet and it
feels kind of delicious andprotected and comfortable.
(09:55):
I might just let myself feelthe physical experience of still
being in my bed and seeing thesun come through my curtain.
I might bring myself back to amoment that I had the previous
day, where I felt reallyconnected, where I felt loved,
where I felt something good, andwhen we bring that back in our
not just in sort of that listsort of way that we can do when
(10:18):
we're journaling, but in anembodied way, what can I
remember about how it felt liketo be in that moment of
connection or calm or peace?
I'm basically cultivating thatquality.
I'm bringing it back into mybody and having an experience of
it.
So the more I can have anexperience of goodness, the more
(10:38):
I am going to bring my nervoussystem into a calmer place and
then be able to handle the daywith that sort of bigger
perspective.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
Oh, I love that.
I actually do that a lot.
Well, I am trying to be moremindful of that anyway For me.
I do find that now that we'rein the spring, I try to go
outside with my coffee and Ileave my phone in the house and
I just take 15 minutes to feelthe sun on my face and choose my
thoughts more intentionally,and that seems to really help me
(11:12):
a lot.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
And choose my thoughts more intentionally and
that seems to really help me alot.
I think an important thing isto really recognize that
stressors don't have to causestress.
We have stressors all day long.
Stressors are just the thing wehave to do throughout the day
and some of them are harder thanothers and when we get
overwhelmed by the stressor theycause that stress response and
we feel the physical experienceof anxiety.
(11:33):
But when we meet a stressorwith more of an attitude of this
is hard and I can do it then webuild resilience and confidence
.
So I think a big piece of whatwe're doing when we're trying to
build resilience and increasestates of gratitude and optimism
has to do with paying attentionto actually taking these
mindful moments.
When we acknowledge this ishard, I can move through it.
(11:55):
We sort of talk ourselvesthrough it with a kind of
tenderness and so often when astressor comes in, that
background voice that we'reusing with ourselves is harsh
and really judgmental, andjudgmental tone when we use it
with ourself, that, like you'renot enough kind of tone turns on
the stress response, but a moretender tone, simply just a kind
(12:18):
of self friendliness, like I'mactually on my own side and I'm
giving myself the same sort ofencouragement I might give a
friend that turns on therelaxation response.
So, neurologically, when wecome to our stressors with just
a kind of self friendliness, weare more likely to be able to
handle the stress, to be able tonot get dysregulated and get
into that fight or flight orfully check out freeze response
(12:42):
and then we build again thatsense of resilience.
So it's all about really beingmindful about the process.
I know we can't be mindful aboutevery single thing we do.
Lots of things we do throughthe day are kind of habitual.
But if we can break some ofthat sort of automatic way of
being in the world, if we cangive ourselves these mindful
pauses when we notice what'shappening in our body, are we
(13:05):
attending to something good thatis actually happening or are we
just thinking about what wehave to do afterwards?
So much of I think buildingresilience and increasing
gratitude and optimism is aboutmindfulness.
It's about actually payingattention to the thing that's
happening and, if it's good,letting it nourish you.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
I love that and I love the self-friendliness piece
, because it can be really easyto be hard on ourselves.
For me, I am self-directed andself-employed and for the most
part I you know I'm prettyaccountable for the things that
I have to do, but there's a fewtimes I have noticed that I can.
I tend to put a little bit morepressure on myself than I need
(13:47):
to, and I have to consciouslyremind myself that no one is
forcing a deadline or giving mea hard time for lack of
performance.
So it's very self-imposed andit's a pressure that is often
really unnecessary.
So can you give me an exampleof how we could shift that when
we notice it happening to us?
Speaker 2 (14:08):
You don't have to do this, but do you want to give me
an example of a stressor andthen I can speak to that
specifically?
Speaker 1 (14:15):
Okay, well, I do wear a few hats.
So often I will overschedulethings because I'm attempting to
be productive and I might havea meeting with someone that
afternoon, but I'm feeling tooboxed in with commitments and
then I shut down a little bit.
So I've learned that I need afair bit of flexibility in with
commitments.
And then I shut down a littlebit, so I've learned that I need
a fair bit of flexibility in myday.
(14:35):
But sometimes I tend to get alittle bit too serious about the
planning when maybe the otherparty would be happy to
reschedule it.
But I still am really hard onmyself for not following through
.
And yeah, that's definitelysomething I'm working on.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
Yes, okay, I hear that that's a great example.
So the first piece is kind of abig picture housekeeping piece
of how you schedule your day.
So the more aware you get ofwhat creates the stressor
throughout the day for you onetoo many things needing to be
fluid.
But because there is thatfluidity, it gives you the
opportunity to schedule fourthings instead of three.
(15:16):
Right, because you think in theideal world the fluidity will
work such that four things willbe possible.
So part of it is being willingto schedule three.
Like that's the big picture.
Can you have a little bit ofhousekeeping that comes in
around that awareness that onetoo many things is the thing for
you that gets most stressful.
So a big piece is where does mystress come from?
(15:38):
It's easy to say my stresscomes from all the little
interactions that happenedthroughout the day, but the
truth is there is particularthings that really up our stress
levels.
So maybe it's the meeting withthis particular person that kind
of sets me off and theneverything after it feels more
stressful.
But the initial thing that kindof put me over the edge was
(16:00):
what happens in the meeting withthat person.
So a big piece of working withyour stress is not just choosing
a practice breathe two minutesat the top of the hour, like
that's a lovely practice butthat might not actually resonate
with you.
So part of it is having thatkind of mindful experience of
noticing where things get out ofhand and then addressing that.
(16:23):
And then I think, also for allof us in this culture that moves
very fast, one thing that isreally helpful is to find
mindful moments, and I thinkit's helpful to find a habit of
these moments.
So maybe for you it is the endof each one of your kind of
blocks of work, whether thatblock of work was an hour or
(16:44):
three hours.
There is a period of time whereyou are not going to allow
yourself to jump onto the nextcall.
You're going to give yourselfeven five minutes just to check
in and notice what is actuallyhappening in my body.
So often the reason our stresslevels are rising is because we
are hungry, we are thirsty, wehave to go to the bathroom, we
(17:06):
haven't moved in three hours.
So giving yourself just alittle bit of a cushion to take
care of those just very simplebodily needs and to notice how
do I feel right now.
So if you can get better andbetter at asking yourself how do
I feel right now and givingyourself those two to five
minute breaks to actuallyrespond to that.
(17:28):
Stress levels go way downbecause you are consistently
bringing your nervous systemback to baseline or as close as
you can, so that whatever thenext challenge is, you're
available for it.
And in those little pauses youalso have the opportunity to
notice maybe while you'regetting that drink of water or
(17:49):
having a snack, to recallsomething lovely that has
happened Can you give yourself,can you make a habit of giving
yourself a pat on the back forhow you handled that last
meeting?
Can you recall a sweetinteraction you had with a
parent or a child?
Can you bring these moments ofconnection back into your day,
throughout the day, because thatwill also go a huge way in
(18:12):
relieving stress and again boostthose feelings that are why we
want to be alive.
Right, the feelings ofgratitude and optimism is why we
enjoy life.
But we spend so much of ourlife focusing on what's not
working and we forget that weactually really need to pay
attention to what is.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
Yes, absolutely, and I think we entrepreneurs can
fall into a bit of a hustlementality.
But I'm trying to find smallwindows when I can sit outside
for just 15 minutes without myphone.
And it's definitelyuncomfortable at first, but then
I relax into it and maybe feelthe warm sun on my face and then
(18:52):
it seems to get a bit easier.
But it's definitely a process.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
Yeah, I think our tendency when we're giving
ourselves that kind of time isto also be thinking about what's
next, because we kind of trickourselves into thinking that if
we do some internal planningwhile we're taking this break,
then when we get back we'll bemore effective.
But that is actually not true.
It's a trick.
(19:17):
If you can give your mind abreak from thinking about what's
next and just let yourself comeinto the present, then when you
get to what's next, you will bemuch more effective and
efficient.
Your mind needs a break fromwhat's next so you can have
these moments in your day whenyou're really just right here.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
Well, this year I planted a garden and, truthfully
, I use it as a bit of a minimeditation during the day I take
time and I do some watering orsome deadheading, I feel the
grass on my feet and it justhelps to get me centered and
feel calmer, and then I go backin and step back into my workday
(19:58):
.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
I love what you just said about being outside and
feeling the ground and feelingthe sun on your face.
So we get an extra boost fromthese embodied experiences
because we are such a mind-basedkind of culture and so it's
really easy to go outside and bethinking about what you should
(20:19):
be supposed to be doing, right,and then we can feel a little
bit uncomfortable because we'reso used to having so much input
that when we put down some ofthat input it's kind of like we
don't know what to do withourselves.
So what I suggest we do withourselves in these moments that
we're giving ourselves is tonotice how do we feel, what do
(20:39):
we hear?
So you could take a moment topay attention to the sounds
around you.
You'll notice, maybe, birdsthat you wouldn't have noticed
without that intention.
You'll notice the temperature.
You'll really use your sensesto notice what feels just
generally pleasant about theexperience.
So that's a way to giveyourself something to do,
because our minds like to bebusy.
(21:00):
So if we give them something todo that is present, moment
oriented, it helps us to feelmore comfortable.
We get dopamine when informationcomes in and when there's a
lull, when we're used to havinga lot of input.
When there's a lull, dopaminelevels drop.
So if we can bring informationin, but bring it in purposely,
the kind of information that isnourishing for us, that can help
(21:24):
not just raise those dopaminelevels and make us feel more
comfortable, but that's what'sreally nourishing.
What's really nourishing foryou about being outside is not
just taking a break, butnoticing that it does feel nice
to hear that sounds.
It does feel nice to feel yourfeet on the ground.
If your feet are in the grass,for example, it does feel nice
to hear the birds.
(21:44):
So you don't have to feel likethere's nothing to do.
You can give yourself somethingto do by asking your mind to
kind of pay attention to what'snourishing about the experience.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
Do you find with your clients that screen time is a
contributing factor in thisstress response?
I know for me I've been reallyworking on less screen time and
I've noticed that when I'mplugged in for too long I can
catch myself falling intomindless scrolling which I think
everybody does and it felt likea break from work at first, but
(22:19):
now I kind of feel like it'sjust a bit of a crutch when I'm
bored or when I'm not beingproductive and there's this
sense of a sensory withdrawal,like it's weird.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
Yes, absolutely.
People feel better when theylimit their screen time,
especially when it's that kindof scrolling sort of screen time
.
So scrolling screen time is alittle bit of a way to move into
freeze right.
It's somewhere on that spectrumof.
This is a way I can kind ofcheck out.
So I'm not really present, Ijust have this input coming in
(22:52):
that I don't have control over.
So the problem with scrollingis that you're not necessarily
curating what it is you want tosee.
This input comes in that may benourishing or not.
You don't have control over it.
And we do it because, again, weget sort of habitualized to a
certain amount of input comingin all the time and when we
(23:14):
diminish some of that input wefeel uncomfortable at first and
we just need to be willing tosit with that discomfort for a
bit, even if it's just a coupleof minutes, and then we will
slowly kind of wean ourselves.
So, yes, like anything that wetake away, that is a habit.
It's uncomfortable at first butthere are huge benefits.
And I'm not technology at all.
(23:37):
We need it in lots of ways.
But when we find that we'respending a lot of time scrolling
or overindulging in the newscycles, you know those news
cycles, we're not reallylearning anything new.
The fifth time in the day thatwe check them we are just
reinforcing sort of the negativefeeling that arises from the
news cycle oftentimes.
So it is important to kind ofwean ourselves away from those
(24:00):
habits and once we have donethat it will feel freeing and we
won't feel uncomfortablebecause we have just kind of
reassigned the amount of inputwe need coming in.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
Yes, that's so true.
I've just recently startedimplementing what I call
screenless Sundays.
It's challenging, though,because it really forces me to
prioritize what I have to getdone so that I can enjoy that.
So, like, if I need to sendsome emails or put in an online
grocery order, I have to remindmyself to do it on Saturday so
(24:30):
that I can stay off the screenson Sunday.
I've just been allowing myselfto talk on the phone, but no
screen time or FaceTime otherthan that, but it's also allowed
me to remember oh yeah, I loveto read books, and I forgot that
I love to write letters to myfriends and that I love to bake
zucchini loaf once in a while ormake a really great meal.
(24:53):
I do that anyway, but there'sso many things that I love that
don't involve a screen, and it'sjust so easy for us to lean
back into the screen, becauseit's a habit, and I'm really
trying to use my time to use myhands or to be creative, and
it's really helping, but it's achallenge for sure to change
(25:14):
those patterns.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
But, like you said, it makes a lot of space for
other things, because it turnsout we have lists of things we
enjoy and that make us feel good, but we are spending so much
time in that kind of scrollingexperience that we lose track of
big chunks of time when wecould have been doing something
that would be more nourishing,that would be more calming, that
(25:37):
would be more gratitude andoptimism and resilience building
.
But we've yeah, we'vediminished a lot of the time
that we have access to and thenwe feel like we don't have time
for those things.
But if we look at our screencounters, we have more time than
we think.
We just give a lot of it away.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
Yeah, it's mind bogglingling how much time can
simply be wasted and we don'teven realize it and our time is
so precious.
And I think the times I'm mostvulnerable to that mindless
screen time is when I'mexhausted or overwhelmed and I
think it's me turning my brainoff.
But that's not really the case.
It's just a different kind ofinput.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
That's right.
So most traditional meditations, many traditional meditations,
are object meditations, where wepay attention to something, and
meditation is a mindfulnesspractice.
So mindfulness is just payingattention to the moment, without
judgment, whether you're doingthe dishes, whether you're in
this podcast interview.
Just paying attention to what'shappening right now is all
(26:37):
mindfulness is and meditation isjust a type of mindfulness
practice.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
And that's really what they talk about in
meditation right, where youfocus on one thing, like a
candle or breathing to keep yourbrain from being everywhere
else.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
Well, I've taught yoga for many, many years and I
think yoga can be a reallyeffective practice for lots of
things.
So sometimes I use with myclients yoga for anxiety, yoga
for trauma healing, yoga foroptimism.
There's lots and lots of waysthat we can use mindful movement
to bring more joy into ourlives.
And I also teach courses andin-person courses on all sorts
(27:19):
of things from chronic pain tonervous system regulation.
In general, my goal is to meetpeople where they are, to
acknowledge what season of lifethey're in and where they're
finding things to be reallychallenging, and my tendency is
to use mindfulness practices tomeet that challenge.
So I like to kind of take abrain, body, mind approach.
(27:43):
So I'm looking through the lensof psychology and neuroscience,
neuroscience and mindfulness tosee how we can meet whatever
the challenges that's in frontof you.
Speaker 1 (27:52):
That's wonderful.
I have to say, I've never heardof the term yoga for optimism.
That sounds really powerful.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
So when I think about yoga for optimism, what I'm
really doing is setting anintention at the beginning of
the class to pay attention towhat feels good or what feels
hopeful, and we can really usethe movements that we're
exploring in our bodies to seethat.
So if I'm doing something verysimple some of your listeners
might know what a cat cow is,it's just a very simple you're
(28:22):
on your hands and knees, youarch your back, you round your
back, just as like, so that youcan kind of picture a movement.
So as I'm in that movement, Icould be paying attention to
what feels good, I could bepaying attention to how I
imagine that over the course ofpracticing this particular
movement, things will feel moreopen in my body.
(28:43):
So I'm kind of using themovement as I move through the
practice to find a kind offreedom, to find a hopefulness.
You could choose any quality,right?
Maybe the quality that I wantto cultivate in my yoga practice
today is to feel more groundedor more at peace.
Maybe I want to cultivate asense of gratitude in my life.
(29:03):
So whatever quality you choose,you can work with that through
the movements.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
That's really fascinating.
Obviously, I need to do moreyoga, so I know that you have a
gift for our listeners.
You have a seven-day membershiptrial that we're going to link
in the show notes, and you alsohave a mindfulness practice that
you have available for thelisteners as well.
Tell us about that.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
I do.
So.
The mindfulness practice isjust I think it's about six
minutes and it takes you throughthe muscles in your face, so
oftentimes we tend to tensearound the jaw.
You could even notice right nowis your jaw a little bit
clenched, even if there isnothing wrong right now.
We have a habit of holdingtension in the face, and when we
(29:48):
hold tension in the face, weare sending a message to our
brain through our vagus nervethat things are not quite okay.
Tension sends this message thatwe need to be on alert, and so
this practice that I offer helpsyou to move through different
parts of the face, to relax theface, to release a little bit of
oxytocin, which is aneurotransmitter that helps us
(30:09):
to feel more relaxed, moreconnected, and so it's just a
basic practice that sends amessage to your brain that
things are okay and you can kindof relax a little bit.
It helps to turn on thatparasympathetic or relaxation
response.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
Awesome.
So keep an eye out for thoselinks in the show notes so you
can take advantage of Rachel'swisdom and try it out for
yourself.
Can you leave us with one ortwo quick tips for implementing
mindfulness into our day, likeright away?
Speaker 2 (30:37):
So what I would suggest is to just notice if
there's anything at all.
I've talked about a lot of tipsand it can be really easy to
feel overwhelmed, Like where doI start?
This is so much and even as I'mtalking, it might seem as
though all day long I'm walkingaround with mindful intention.
I am not.
I am often overwhelmed and thenI have to get.
(31:00):
I have to kind of talk myselfdown off the edge.
So what I would say is to begin.
If some of these ideas are newto you, just pick one thing that
resonated and see if you cancreate a habit.
So the longer you do something,the easier it becomes, because
we are habitual creatures andit's easier to start a habit
(31:20):
when we attach it to somethingthat we already do.
So maybe you add as silly asthis sounds a gratitude practice
while you brush your teeth.
Maybe you spend time when youfirst wake up, before you get
out of bed.
Maybe you do two minutes ofbreathing to start your day.
So find a thing that resonatedand make a habit of that thing,
(31:42):
even if it's just two minutes aday, same time every day, and
then build from there.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
Yes, I love that.
So basically living in a moreintentional way.
Thank you so much, rachel.
It's been a pleasure.
What a great episode.
Oh, my goodness, I'm so gladyou guys were here for that.
So here are some of thetakeaways that I have put
together for you.
Number one gratitude andoptimism can turn on our
(32:12):
parasympathetic nervous systemand elevate our mood which is
awesome nervous system andelevate our mood, which is
awesome.
Number two use mindfulness tocreate a balance in your day so
that when challenges arise, wecan see them as opportunities,
overcome them and keep ournervous system in check.
Number three make mindfulmoments a habit.
(32:33):
Give yourself five minutes tocheck in and notice what's
happening in your body.
Number four ask yourselfthrough the day how do I feel
right now To bring your nervoussystem back to baseline before
you begin a new time block ofwork.
Number five try to find smallmoments of gratitude or give
yourself a pat on the back whenyou do something.
(32:55):
That's a win.
Number six find embodiedexperiences where we can turn
off our brain and use our sensesto notice what feels good in
our body.
Number seven try to carve outsome time each week where you
can go screen free.
Maybe it's the last couple ofhours before bed or the first
(33:16):
hour in the morning.
Just try it and see how muchcalmer you feel.
Number eight mindful movement,like yoga, can help to heal
trauma and boost optimism byadding a brain, body and mind
approach to life.
And lastly, number nine, justchoose one thing to start with.
(33:37):
It's easier to implement a newpractice when it's already
attached to a habit that wealready have.
I hope you loved today's episode.
I hope it inspired you ormotivated you in some way to
keep going and create your verybest life.
If you did, would you stop andtake five minutes to leave me a
(33:58):
review on Apple Podcasts?
It's the best way for me toknow that you're enjoying the
show and it helps otherlisteners find us as well.
And if you haven't already,make sure you subscribe wherever
you get your podcasts so thatwhen new episodes drop, they'll
be queued up and ready for you.
And if no one has told youtoday, there's not one person on
(34:18):
this planet that is exactlylike you and the world is a
better place because you're here.
So thank you for being here.
I'll be back next week and Ihope you'll join me right here
on Life is Delicious.
Hey, beautiful friend , it's Marnie.
Oh my gosh, I am so glad tohave you here today.
As you know, this podcast isall about living our best life,
but it's really hard to feelvibrant and centered when we are
being bombarded by stress andwe all have it and while
everyone experiences stressdifferently.
Today's guest is gonna walk usthrough some ways we can get
(00:24):
more grounded and diffuse thestressors when they come, by
activating more gratitude andlearning how to build more
resilience in our daily lives,by the intersection between
mindfulness, neuroscience andpsychology, specifically
(00:46):
focusing on best practices forthe mind, body and brain.
And she's going to teach us howto feel more calm, connection
and engagement in our dailylives.
You are going to love thisepisode.
Welcome to this.
Episode of Life is Delicious.
Do you ever feel like midlifehas you running on an endless
(01:08):
hamster wheel ofresponsibilities while your own
dreams just gather dust?
Is the crazy chaos of caringfor everyone else leaving you
exhausted and overwhelmed?
And is the hormonal hurricaneof menopause threatening to
derail your sanity?
Are you in desperate need ofsome self-care, balance and
reconnection with your truestself?
(01:29):
If so, then I'm so glad you'rehere.
This podcast isn't aboutsurviving midlife.
It's about crafting a nextchapter overflowing with purpose
, joy and deliciouspossibilities.
I'm Marni Martin, amulti-passionate entrepreneur,
daughter and a hot midlife mama,literally, and over the last
(01:51):
decade I've been through careerpivots, a divorce and a survived
the empty nest only to have itfill up again.
I spent the next several yearstraveling miles and miles every
month to care for my elderlyparents, and my time and
attention was so torn in everydirection that I lost track of
who I was, and I found myself inan endless cycle of people
(02:13):
pleasing, putting out fires and,frankly, running on empty.
I know how it feels to be stuckin chronic overwhelm, stress
and chaos and, trust me, it'snot a pretty picture.
I decided that it was time totake my own life and health back
.
I worked hard to reclaim myhealth through radical self-care
(02:33):
practices, recalibrating mynervous system and setting
healthy boundaries that allowedme to start living my life on
purpose again.
I'm here to show you thatmidlife doesn't have to be a
crisis, but instead a beautifulinvitation to prioritize
yourself again.
If you're ready to take backyour joie de vivre, then pop in
(02:55):
those earbuds and let's go getit.
Welcome to the show, rachel.
We have so much to talk abouttoday, but before we get into it
, tell the listeners a littlebit about you and your specialty
.
I know you've got some reallygreat information to share.
Speaker 2 (03:11):
Yeah, I'm thrilled to be here.
I'm Rachel and I'm a yogatherapist and a mindfulness
coach, and I love helping peoplereduce stress, build resilience
, just experience more positivefeelings in their life.
I feel like we live in a worldwhere we tend to have fears and
anxiety sort of thrown at us allday long, and it is a real
(03:33):
skill to shift into optimism.
It's difficult these days, butthere are practices that can
help us do that Absolutely.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
Well, I mean, I like to think of myself as an eternal
optimist and I practicegratitude regularly, but I have
really noticed over the lastlittle while, with some of my
other menopause symptoms, that Ican find myself in a bit of a
freeze sometimes when overwhelmkicks in, even though I don't
(04:02):
normally struggle typically withanxiety.
So talk to us about thedifferent factors that can
really affect how we navigateour way through our day.
Speaker 2 (04:13):
You know, the biggest factor is what is the state of
your nervous system.
So our nervous system is whatsends us into fight, flight or
freeze or holds us in that sortof calmer, more grounded,
parasympathetic state.
And when stressors come at uswhich they do all day long we
can either see that stressor asa challenge or it can feel
(04:36):
overwhelming and tip us intothat kind of fight, flight or
freeze state.
When we see it as a challengeand something to take on, we
build resilience and we kind ofnourish that part of ourselves
that builds confidence throughstress.
But when our stress responsekicks in because that stressor
is a little bit too challengingfor us in the moment, we lose
(04:58):
confidence, we feel lessresilient and we feel more
pessimistic about the world.
So so much of it is.
How can I keep myself balancedthroughout the day so that when
the next stressor comes in I canfeel it as a challenge and I
can still notice what the silverlining is, what's positive
about this challenge that'sbeing offered?
And oftentimes the morestressors that come in, the more
(05:20):
we start to tip towards thatnervous system dysregulation.
So if I wake up at a one andthen right away I have three
stressors come in.
By the time I really fullystart my day, I'm already at a
four, and I don't do as good ofa job with stressors when I'm at
a four or a six or an eight asI would at a one.
So a big piece of how we keep amore optimistic mind frame is
(05:43):
keeping our nervous system incheck so that we can see the
full picture.
Speaker 1 (05:47):
I have been in menopause for a while now, but
last year I finally got myparents moved into an assisted
living place and we sold ourfamily home and moved them and
at the end of it all my nervoussystem was in really bad shape.
I had aches and pains, I had aton of inflammation in my
(06:08):
shoulders and my knees, I wasbloated all the time.
There was just a ton ofsymptoms and I was exhausted and
I just obviously hadn't beentaking care of myself.
So a group of my friends and Itook a class on understanding
cortisol and I learned so muchthat I didn't know about my body
, and one of the things thatcame up was how we actually
(06:29):
trigger our own stress responsewithout even knowing it.
When we grab our phone whilewe're still in bed, even when
we're relaxed and just waking upin the morning, we begin to
deal with texts and emails andbefore we've even had a cup of
coffee, we're stressed out.
Do you find that that's acommon theme with your clients?
Speaker 2 (06:49):
I do.
I do so so much of how we keepthat kind of balanced viewpoint.
So one of the things thathappens when we're stressed is
our viewpoint narrows.
So I always say you know, aglass half empty versus a glass
half full.
It's all about the way that weare coming to the like, what
perspective we're sitting withwhen we have an issue in front
(07:10):
of us, and when we are in thatkind of more dysregulated
stressful experience, our visionnarrows and so we are more
likely to see that glass as halfempty.
So when we talk about you know,oftentimes in positive
psychology we're talking aboutsort of putting a happy spin on
everything.
This is not what I'm talkingabout.
(07:30):
I'm talking about seeing thefull picture.
And the full picture in thatglass or in that stressor in
front of you is not all bad.
But when we are really stressedwe only see the negative
because our brain is trained tosee the negative first.
So the practices we need tobring in in order to hold on to
that more optimistic state is tosee the full picture, to not
(07:52):
just focus in on the negative.
So when the first thing I do ispick up my phone, if what I'm
doing is bringing myself into alens of what is wrong in the
world right now, or whatstressors do I have in front of
me.
I'm actually decreasing thefull picture.
I'm only allowing myself to seewhat's difficult, and of course
that's going to raise my stresslevel.
(08:13):
But if I do things first thingin the morning, throughout the
day, that brings in the fullpicture.
That reminds me of what'sactually good.
What's good about my stressors?
What's good about the places inmy life where I'm not stressed?
There are plenty of amazingthings that are happening in my
life, but I lose track of themif I'm solely focused on the
stressors.
Speaker 1 (08:34):
Interesting.
I never heard it described thatway before, as narrowing the
lens.
So what advice would you givefor an alternative way that we
can start our day in terms ofbringing that calm, relaxed,
bigger picture view into focusbefore we step into the
stressors?
Speaker 2 (08:53):
I think it's just giving yourself a couple of
minutes to attend to what's goodso I can attend to what's not,
and then I will raise my stresslevel, I will feel a little
yucky, I'll feel more anxious,I'll start to spin through
what's negative in my life or Ican attend to what's good.
So the more space you giveyourself to attend to what's
(09:13):
good, the more you will keepyour nervous system regulated
for lots of reasons.
One of them is thatexperiencing things like
gratitude and optimism turn onour parasympathetic nervous
system, helps us tophysiologically stay more
relaxed, but it also, of course,boosts our mood.
When I think about somethingthat feels good in my life, I'm
(09:33):
going to feel better.
So I like to practice embodiedgratitude, which means, instead
of just taking a minute to kindof write down or list a few
things I'm grateful for, insteadI will bring a moment in.
It could be the moment I'm in.
Maybe I feel so cozy, I haven'tgotten out of bed yet and it
feels kind of delicious andprotected and comfortable.
(09:55):
I might just let myself feelthe physical experience of still
being in my bed and seeing thesun come through my curtain.
I might bring myself back to amoment that I had the previous
day, where I felt reallyconnected, where I felt loved,
where I felt something good, andwhen we bring that back in our
not just in sort of that listsort of way that we can do when
(10:18):
we're journaling, but in anembodied way, what can I
remember about how it felt liketo be in that moment of
connection or calm or peace?
I'm basically cultivating thatquality.
I'm bringing it back into mybody and having an experience of
it.
So the more I can have anexperience of goodness, the more
(10:38):
I am going to bring my nervoussystem into a calmer place and
then be able to handle the daywith that sort of bigger
perspective.
Speaker 1 (10:48):
Oh, I love that.
I actually do that a lot.
Well, I am trying to be moremindful of that anyway For me.
I do find that now that we'rein the spring, I try to go
outside with my coffee and Ileave my phone in the house and
I just take 15 minutes to feelthe sun on my face and choose my
thoughts more intentionally,and that seems to really help me
(11:12):
a lot.
Speaker 2 (11:12):
And choose my thoughts more intentionally and
that seems to really help me alot.
I think an important thing isto really recognize that
stressors don't have to causestress.
We have stressors all day long.
Stressors are just the thing wehave to do throughout the day
and some of them are harder thanothers and when we get
overwhelmed by the stressor theycause that stress response and
we feel the physical experienceof anxiety.
(11:33):
But when we meet a stressorwith more of an attitude of this
is hard and I can do it then webuild resilience and confidence
.
So I think a big piece of whatwe're doing when we're trying to
build resilience and increasestates of gratitude and optimism
has to do with paying attentionto actually taking these
mindful moments.
When we acknowledge this ishard, I can move through it.
(11:55):
We sort of talk ourselvesthrough it with a kind of
tenderness and so often when astressor comes in, that
background voice that we'reusing with ourselves is harsh
and really judgmental, andjudgmental tone when we use it
with ourself, that, like you'renot enough kind of tone turns on
the stress response, but a moretender tone, simply just a kind
(12:18):
of self friendliness, like I'mactually on my own side and I'm
giving myself the same sort ofencouragement I might give a
friend that turns on therelaxation response.
So, neurologically, when wecome to our stressors with just
a kind of self friendliness, weare more likely to be able to
handle the stress, to be able tonot get dysregulated and get
into that fight or flight orfully check out freeze response
(12:42):
and then we build again thatsense of resilience.
So it's all about really beingmindful about the process.
I know we can't be mindful aboutevery single thing we do.
Lots of things we do throughthe day are kind of habitual.
But if we can break some ofthat sort of automatic way of
being in the world, if we cangive ourselves these mindful
pauses when we notice what'shappening in our body, are we
(13:05):
attending to something good thatis actually happening or are we
just thinking about what wehave to do afterwards?
So much of I think buildingresilience and increasing
gratitude and optimism is aboutmindfulness.
It's about actually payingattention to the thing that's
happening and, if it's good,letting it nourish you.
Speaker 1 (13:25):
I love that and I love the self-friendliness piece
, because it can be really easyto be hard on ourselves.
For me, I am self-directed andself-employed and for the most
part I you know I'm prettyaccountable for the things that
I have to do, but there's a fewtimes I have noticed that I can.
I tend to put a little bit morepressure on myself than I need
(13:47):
to, and I have to consciouslyremind myself that no one is
forcing a deadline or giving mea hard time for lack of
performance.
So it's very self-imposed andit's a pressure that is often
really unnecessary.
So can you give me an exampleof how we could shift that when
we notice it happening to us?
Speaker 2 (14:08):
You don't have to do this, but do you want to give me
an example of a stressor andthen I can speak to that
specifically?
Speaker 1 (14:15):
Okay, well, I do wear a few hats.
So often I will overschedulethings because I'm attempting to
be productive and I might havea meeting with someone that
afternoon, but I'm feeling tooboxed in with commitments and
then I shut down a little bit.
So I've learned that I need afair bit of flexibility in with
commitments.
And then I shut down a littlebit, so I've learned that I need
a fair bit of flexibility in myday.
(14:35):
But sometimes I tend to get alittle bit too serious about the
planning when maybe the otherparty would be happy to
reschedule it.
But I still am really hard onmyself for not following through
.
And yeah, that's definitelysomething I'm working on.
Speaker 2 (14:55):
Yes, okay, I hear that that's a great example.
So the first piece is kind of abig picture housekeeping piece
of how you schedule your day.
So the more aware you get ofwhat creates the stressor
throughout the day for you onetoo many things needing to be
fluid.
But because there is thatfluidity, it gives you the
opportunity to schedule fourthings instead of three.
(15:16):
Right, because you think in theideal world the fluidity will
work such that four things willbe possible.
So part of it is being willingto schedule three.
Like that's the big picture.
Can you have a little bit ofhousekeeping that comes in
around that awareness that onetoo many things is the thing for
you that gets most stressful.
So a big piece is where does mystress come from?
(15:38):
It's easy to say my stresscomes from all the little
interactions that happenedthroughout the day, but the
truth is there is particularthings that really up our stress
levels.
So maybe it's the meeting withthis particular person that kind
of sets me off and theneverything after it feels more
stressful.
But the initial thing that kindof put me over the edge was
(16:00):
what happens in the meeting withthat person.
So a big piece of working withyour stress is not just choosing
a practice breathe two minutesat the top of the hour, like
that's a lovely practice butthat might not actually resonate
with you.
So part of it is having thatkind of mindful experience of
noticing where things get out ofhand and then addressing that.
(16:23):
And then I think, also for allof us in this culture that moves
very fast, one thing that isreally helpful is to find
mindful moments, and I thinkit's helpful to find a habit of
these moments.
So maybe for you it is the endof each one of your kind of
blocks of work, whether thatblock of work was an hour or
(16:44):
three hours.
There is a period of time whereyou are not going to allow
yourself to jump onto the nextcall.
You're going to give yourselfeven five minutes just to check
in and notice what is actuallyhappening in my body.
So often the reason our stresslevels are rising is because we
are hungry, we are thirsty, wehave to go to the bathroom, we
(17:06):
haven't moved in three hours.
So giving yourself just alittle bit of a cushion to take
care of those just very simplebodily needs and to notice how
do I feel right now.
So if you can get better andbetter at asking yourself how do
I feel right now and givingyourself those two to five
minute breaks to actuallyrespond to that.
(17:28):
Stress levels go way downbecause you are consistently
bringing your nervous systemback to baseline or as close as
you can, so that whatever thenext challenge is, you're
available for it.
And in those little pauses youalso have the opportunity to
notice maybe while you'regetting that drink of water or
(17:49):
having a snack, to recallsomething lovely that has
happened Can you give yourself,can you make a habit of giving
yourself a pat on the back forhow you handled that last
meeting?
Can you recall a sweetinteraction you had with a
parent or a child?
Can you bring these moments ofconnection back into your day,
throughout the day, because thatwill also go a huge way in
(18:12):
relieving stress and again boostthose feelings that are why we
want to be alive.
Right, the feelings ofgratitude and optimism is why we
enjoy life.
But we spend so much of ourlife focusing on what's not
working and we forget that weactually really need to pay
attention to what is.
Speaker 1 (18:31):
Yes, absolutely, and I think we entrepreneurs can
fall into a bit of a hustlementality.
But I'm trying to find smallwindows when I can sit outside
for just 15 minutes without myphone.
And it's definitelyuncomfortable at first, but then
I relax into it and maybe feelthe warm sun on my face and then
(18:52):
it seems to get a bit easier.
But it's definitely a process.
Speaker 2 (18:57):
Yeah, I think our tendency when we're giving
ourselves that kind of time isto also be thinking about what's
next, because we kind of trickourselves into thinking that if
we do some internal planningwhile we're taking this break,
then when we get back we'll bemore effective.
But that is actually not true.
It's a trick.
(19:17):
If you can give your mind abreak from thinking about what's
next and just let yourself comeinto the present, then when you
get to what's next, you will bemuch more effective and
efficient.
Your mind needs a break fromwhat's next so you can have
these moments in your day whenyou're really just right here.
Speaker 1 (19:37):
Well, this year I planted a garden and, truthfully
, I use it as a bit of a minimeditation during the day I take
time and I do some watering orsome deadheading, I feel the
grass on my feet and it justhelps to get me centered and
feel calmer, and then I go backin and step back into my workday
(19:58):
.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
I love what you just said about being outside and
feeling the ground and feelingthe sun on your face.
So we get an extra boost fromthese embodied experiences
because we are such a mind-basedkind of culture and so it's
really easy to go outside and bethinking about what you should
(20:19):
be supposed to be doing, right,and then we can feel a little
bit uncomfortable because we'reso used to having so much input
that when we put down some ofthat input it's kind of like we
don't know what to do withourselves.
So what I suggest we do withourselves in these moments that
we're giving ourselves is tonotice how do we feel, what do
(20:39):
we hear?
So you could take a moment topay attention to the sounds
around you.
You'll notice, maybe, birdsthat you wouldn't have noticed
without that intention.
You'll notice the temperature.
You'll really use your sensesto notice what feels just
generally pleasant about theexperience.
So that's a way to giveyourself something to do,
because our minds like to bebusy.
(21:00):
So if we give them something todo that is present, moment
oriented, it helps us to feelmore comfortable.
We get dopamine when informationcomes in and when there's a
lull, when we're used to havinga lot of input.
When there's a lull, dopaminelevels drop.
So if we can bring informationin, but bring it in purposely,
the kind of information that isnourishing for us, that can help
(21:24):
not just raise those dopaminelevels and make us feel more
comfortable, but that's what'sreally nourishing.
What's really nourishing foryou about being outside is not
just taking a break, butnoticing that it does feel nice
to hear that sounds.
It does feel nice to feel yourfeet on the ground.
If your feet are in the grass,for example, it does feel nice
to hear the birds.
(21:44):
So you don't have to feel likethere's nothing to do.
You can give yourself somethingto do by asking your mind to
kind of pay attention to what'snourishing about the experience.
Speaker 1 (21:56):
Do you find with your clients that screen time is a
contributing factor in thisstress response?
I know for me I've been reallyworking on less screen time and
I've noticed that when I'mplugged in for too long I can
catch myself falling intomindless scrolling which I think
everybody does and it felt likea break from work at first, but
(22:19):
now I kind of feel like it'sjust a bit of a crutch when I'm
bored or when I'm not beingproductive and there's this
sense of a sensory withdrawal,like it's weird.
Speaker 2 (22:31):
Yes, absolutely.
People feel better when theylimit their screen time,
especially when it's that kindof scrolling sort of screen time
.
So scrolling screen time is alittle bit of a way to move into
freeze right.
It's somewhere on that spectrumof.
This is a way I can kind ofcheck out.
So I'm not really present, Ijust have this input coming in
(22:52):
that I don't have control over.
So the problem with scrollingis that you're not necessarily
curating what it is you want tosee.
This input comes in that may benourishing or not.
You don't have control over it.
And we do it because, again, weget sort of habitualized to a
certain amount of input comingin all the time and when we
(23:14):
diminish some of that input wefeel uncomfortable at first and
we just need to be willing tosit with that discomfort for a
bit, even if it's just a coupleof minutes, and then we will
slowly kind of wean ourselves.
So, yes, like anything that wetake away, that is a habit.
It's uncomfortable at first butthere are huge benefits.
And I'm not technology at all.
(23:37):
We need it in lots of ways.
But when we find that we'respending a lot of time scrolling
or overindulging in the newscycles, you know those news
cycles, we're not reallylearning anything new.
The fifth time in the day thatwe check them we are just
reinforcing sort of the negativefeeling that arises from the
news cycle oftentimes.
So it is important to kind ofwean ourselves away from those
(24:00):
habits and once we have donethat it will feel freeing and we
won't feel uncomfortablebecause we have just kind of
reassigned the amount of inputwe need coming in.
Speaker 1 (24:09):
Yes, that's so true.
I've just recently startedimplementing what I call
screenless Sundays.
It's challenging, though,because it really forces me to
prioritize what I have to getdone so that I can enjoy that.
So, like, if I need to sendsome emails or put in an online
grocery order, I have to remindmyself to do it on Saturday so
(24:30):
that I can stay off the screenson Sunday.
I've just been allowing myselfto talk on the phone, but no
screen time or FaceTime otherthan that, but it's also allowed
me to remember oh yeah, I loveto read books, and I forgot that
I love to write letters to myfriends and that I love to bake
zucchini loaf once in a while ormake a really great meal.
(24:53):
I do that anyway, but there'sso many things that I love that
don't involve a screen, and it'sjust so easy for us to lean
back into the screen, becauseit's a habit, and I'm really
trying to use my time to use myhands or to be creative, and
it's really helping, but it's achallenge for sure to change
(25:14):
those patterns.
Speaker 2 (25:15):
But, like you said, it makes a lot of space for
other things, because it turnsout we have lists of things we
enjoy and that make us feel good, but we are spending so much
time in that kind of scrollingexperience that we lose track of
big chunks of time when wecould have been doing something
that would be more nourishing,that would be more calming, that
(25:37):
would be more gratitude andoptimism and resilience building
.
But we've yeah, we'vediminished a lot of the time
that we have access to and thenwe feel like we don't have time
for those things.
But if we look at our screencounters, we have more time than
we think.
We just give a lot of it away.
Speaker 1 (25:55):
Yeah, it's mind bogglingling how much time can
simply be wasted and we don'teven realize it and our time is
so precious.
And I think the times I'm mostvulnerable to that mindless
screen time is when I'mexhausted or overwhelmed and I
think it's me turning my brainoff.
But that's not really the case.
It's just a different kind ofinput.
Speaker 2 (26:16):
That's right.
So most traditional meditations, many traditional meditations,
are object meditations, where wepay attention to something, and
meditation is a mindfulnesspractice.
So mindfulness is just payingattention to the moment, without
judgment, whether you're doingthe dishes, whether you're in
this podcast interview.
Just paying attention to what'shappening right now is all
(26:37):
mindfulness is and meditation isjust a type of mindfulness
practice.
Speaker 1 (26:43):
And that's really what they talk about in
meditation right, where youfocus on one thing, like a
candle or breathing to keep yourbrain from being everywhere
else.
Speaker 2 (26:55):
Well, I've taught yoga for many, many years and I
think yoga can be a reallyeffective practice for lots of
things.
So sometimes I use with myclients yoga for anxiety, yoga
for trauma healing, yoga foroptimism.
There's lots and lots of waysthat we can use mindful movement
to bring more joy into ourlives.
And I also teach courses andin-person courses on all sorts
(27:19):
of things from chronic pain tonervous system regulation.
In general, my goal is to meetpeople where they are, to
acknowledge what season of lifethey're in and where they're
finding things to be reallychallenging, and my tendency is
to use mindfulness practices tomeet that challenge.
So I like to kind of take abrain, body, mind approach.
(27:43):
So I'm looking through the lensof psychology and neuroscience,
neuroscience and mindfulness tosee how we can meet whatever
the challenges that's in frontof you.
Speaker 1 (27:52):
That's wonderful.
I have to say, I've never heardof the term yoga for optimism.
That sounds really powerful.
Speaker 2 (28:00):
So when I think about yoga for optimism, what I'm
really doing is setting anintention at the beginning of
the class to pay attention towhat feels good or what feels
hopeful, and we can really usethe movements that we're
exploring in our bodies to seethat.
So if I'm doing something verysimple some of your listeners
might know what a cat cow is,it's just a very simple you're
(28:22):
on your hands and knees, youarch your back, you round your
back, just as like, so that youcan kind of picture a movement.
So as I'm in that movement, Icould be paying attention to
what feels good, I could bepaying attention to how I
imagine that over the course ofpracticing this particular
movement, things will feel moreopen in my body.
(28:43):
So I'm kind of using themovement as I move through the
practice to find a kind offreedom, to find a hopefulness.
You could choose any quality,right?
Maybe the quality that I wantto cultivate in my yoga practice
today is to feel more groundedor more at peace.
Maybe I want to cultivate asense of gratitude in my life.
(29:03):
So whatever quality you choose,you can work with that through
the movements.
Speaker 1 (29:08):
That's really fascinating.
Obviously, I need to do moreyoga, so I know that you have a
gift for our listeners.
You have a seven-day membershiptrial that we're going to link
in the show notes, and you alsohave a mindfulness practice that
you have available for thelisteners as well.
Tell us about that.
Speaker 2 (29:26):
I do.
So.
The mindfulness practice isjust I think it's about six
minutes and it takes you throughthe muscles in your face, so
oftentimes we tend to tensearound the jaw.
You could even notice right nowis your jaw a little bit
clenched, even if there isnothing wrong right now.
We have a habit of holdingtension in the face, and when we
(29:48):
hold tension in the face, weare sending a message to our
brain through our vagus nervethat things are not quite okay.
Tension sends this message thatwe need to be on alert, and so
this practice that I offer helpsyou to move through different
parts of the face, to relax theface, to release a little bit of
oxytocin, which is aneurotransmitter that helps us
(30:09):
to feel more relaxed, moreconnected, and so it's just a
basic practice that sends amessage to your brain that
things are okay and you can kindof relax a little bit.
It helps to turn on thatparasympathetic or relaxation
response.
Speaker 1 (30:23):
Awesome.
So keep an eye out for thoselinks in the show notes so you
can take advantage of Rachel'swisdom and try it out for
yourself.
Can you leave us with one ortwo quick tips for implementing
mindfulness into our day, likeright away?
Speaker 2 (30:37):
So what I would suggest is to just notice if
there's anything at all.
I've talked about a lot of tipsand it can be really easy to
feel overwhelmed, Like where doI start?
This is so much and even as I'mtalking, it might seem as
though all day long I'm walkingaround with mindful intention.
I am not.
I am often overwhelmed and thenI have to get.
(31:00):
I have to kind of talk myselfdown off the edge.
So what I would say is to begin.
If some of these ideas are newto you, just pick one thing that
resonated and see if you cancreate a habit.
So the longer you do something,the easier it becomes, because
we are habitual creatures andit's easier to start a habit
(31:20):
when we attach it to somethingthat we already do.
So maybe you add as silly asthis sounds a gratitude practice
while you brush your teeth.
Maybe you spend time when youfirst wake up, before you get
out of bed.
Maybe you do two minutes ofbreathing to start your day.
So find a thing that resonatedand make a habit of that thing,
(31:42):
even if it's just two minutes aday, same time every day, and
then build from there.
Speaker 1 (31:48):
Yes, I love that.
So basically living in a moreintentional way.
Thank you so much, rachel.
It's been a pleasure.
What a great episode.
Oh, my goodness, I'm so gladyou guys were here for that.
So here are some of thetakeaways that I have put
together for you.
Number one gratitude andoptimism can turn on our
(32:12):
parasympathetic nervous systemand elevate our mood which is
awesome nervous system andelevate our mood, which is
awesome.
Number two use mindfulness tocreate a balance in your day so
that when challenges arise, wecan see them as opportunities,
overcome them and keep ournervous system in check.
Number three make mindfulmoments a habit.
(32:33):
Give yourself five minutes tocheck in and notice what's
happening in your body.
Number four ask yourselfthrough the day how do I feel
right now To bring your nervoussystem back to baseline before
you begin a new time block ofwork.
Number five try to find smallmoments of gratitude or give
yourself a pat on the back whenyou do something.
(32:55):
That's a win.
Number six find embodiedexperiences where we can turn
off our brain and use our sensesto notice what feels good in
our body.
Number seven try to carve outsome time each week where you
can go screen free.
Maybe it's the last couple ofhours before bed or the first
(33:16):
hour in the morning.
Just try it and see how muchcalmer you feel.
Number eight mindful movement,like yoga, can help to heal
trauma and boost optimism byadding a brain, body and mind
approach to life.
And lastly, number nine, justchoose one thing to start with.
(33:37):
It's easier to implement a newpractice when it's already
attached to a habit that wealready have.
I hope you loved today's episode.
I hope it inspired you ormotivated you in some way to
keep going and create your verybest life.
If you did, would you stop andtake five minutes to leave me a
(33:58):
review on Apple Podcasts?
It's the best way for me toknow that you're enjoying the
show and it helps otherlisteners find us as well.
And if you haven't already,make sure you subscribe wherever
you get your podcasts so thatwhen new episodes drop, they'll
be queued up and ready for you.
And if no one has told youtoday, there's not one person on
(34:18):
this planet that is exactlylike you and the world is a
better place because you're here.
So thank you for being here.
I'll be back next week and Ihope you'll join me right here
on Life is Delicious.
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