February 27, 2025 • 24 mins
Overcoming Self-Doubt: Why You’re Stuck & How to Break Free
Do you ever feel like self-doubt is holding you back from reaching your full potential? Maybe you have a great idea but talk yourself out of it, or you hesitate to take action because you’re afraid of failing. In this episode, we dive deep into why self-doubt keeps you stuck, how to reframe failure, and the mindset shifts that will help you break free.
🔹 Why does self-doubt exist? It’s not just in your head—it’s a survival mechanism. Your brain is wired to keep you safe, making new challenges feel risky. But here’s the truth: the fear of failure, rejection, or judgment is keeping you from unlocking your real potential.
🔹 How does self-doubt show up? It often disguises itself as procrastination, perfectionism, overthinking, or imposter syndrome. If you’ve ever said, “I’m not ready yet,” or “I need more time,” then this episode is for you.
🔹 How do you break free? We discuss actionable strategies to build confidence, take bold steps, and silence the inner critic. You’ll learn:
✅ The #1 mindset shift to overcome fear & uncertainty
✅ How to stop overthinking and start taking action
✅ The truth about failure (and why it’s not what you think)
✅ How to reframe self-doubt into confidence & growth
If you’re ready to stop doubting yourself and start living with confidence, this episode will give you the tools you need. Don’t wait for the “perfect moment” – the time to start is now!
🎧 Listen now and take the first step towards breaking free!
#OvercomingSelfDoubt #SelfImprovement #BuildConfidence #MindsetShift #SuccessMindset #FearOfFailure #PersonalGrowth #BreakThroughBarriers #AchieveYourGoals #StopOverthinking
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
In this episode, you will learnwhere self doubt comes from and
why we all experience it.
The hidden ways self doubt stopsyou from living your full
potential.
You will learn three powerfulmindset shifts to break free
from self doubt and a simplestrategy you can use today to
(00:22):
build confidence.
Welcome to Man (00:24):
A Quest to Find Meaning, where we help men
navigate modern life, find theirtrue purpose, and redefine
manhood.
I'm your host, James, and eachweek, inspiring guests share
their journeys of overcomingfear Embracing vulnerability and
finding success.
(00:44):
From experts to everyday heroes.
Get practical advice andpowerful insights.
Struggling with career,relationships or personal
growth?
We've got you covered.
Join us on Man Quest to FindMeaning.
Now, let's dive in.
Have you ever felt like you'renot good enough?
(01:06):
Like no matter how much you try,that little voice in your head
tells you that you're going tofail.
Maybe you've had a great ideabut talked yourself out of it,
or you wanted to take action butsomething inside of you told you
that you're not ready.
(01:27):
If that sounds familiar, you arenot alone..
So today, I want to have anhonest conversation about self
doubt.
Why we experience it, how itholds us back, and most
importantly, how do we breakfree from it?
(01:53):
Self doubt isn't in your head.
It's a survival mechanism.
Our brains are wired to keep ussafe.
Anytime we step into somethingnew, uncertain, unknown, our
brain, our brains send a warningsignal.
(02:16):
What if I fail?
What if people judge me?
What if I'm not good enough?
These are all normal.
So if you are feeling any ofthese, don't worry, you are not
(02:36):
alone.
Here's some common causes ofself doubt.
There's fear of failure.
What if I mess up?
Fear of judgment.
What will people think?
Now, just in this exact momentof recording this episode, it's
(02:58):
taken me five times to recordit.
And there's this feeling oftrying to be perfect.
So every time I make a mistake,I'm like, oh no, there's this
fear of failure.
And at the same time, ofrecording this episode.
(03:21):
I feel as though almost everytime I make this mistake, I feel
like people are going to judgeme.
This person's made a mistake.
He's rubbish.
He shouldn't be doingpodcasting.
So it can happen in any moment.
And this is probably, this isideal time for it to happen
because I can explain, but alsoat the same time, I can still
(03:45):
take the steps to carry on.
It's also the idea of comparingourselves to others.
So I might record this episodeand compare myself to somebody
who's been doing it for three orfour years.
Which then means that myepisode's rubbish, so I should
(04:07):
do it again and again until it'sperfect.
Alright.
And then there's the idea of impPotter syndrome.
I don't deserve to be here.
Who am I to do podcasting?
I'm not a podcaster.
So we, this is something that weall go for it.
I believe that everybody hasself-doubt, but it's how that,
(04:32):
it's about how we reframe it.
which makes us stronger.
A couple of other stories I wantto talk about.
So I've been in business since2018.
And what I've noticed over thelast, I think it's seven years
(04:55):
now, is that I've had majorbattles myself down.
Major battles.
I start to progress, I startmaking, headway with different
things, and then I doubt myself.
And doubt for me might come inthe way of procrastination, it
(05:17):
might come in the way ofoverwhelm, it might come with
the idea of, comparing myself toothers.
Imposter syndrome, I don'tdeserve to be here.
Who am I to do business?
I've never done a businesscourse.
Who am I to do that?
During COVID, I did 86interviews with the idea of
(05:40):
creating a podcast on highachieving people.
I did the episodes, I had themall recorded on Zoom, ready to
go on to podcasting, and thensuddenly, BANG! Just like that,
I was hit with self doubt.
Why am I doing that?
Who's going to listen to what Irecorded?
(06:01):
And in that moment, I stoppedmyself from launching my first
podcast.
And this hit me really hard.
I felt unworthy, I felt asthough I didn't belong there, I
felt as though I was worthless,and I literally have them all
(06:25):
recorded, but I've never usedthem.
And this for me has been sofrustrating.
Self doubt isn't just aninconvenience, it's something
that can silently control yourlife, keeping you from reaching
your full potential.
(06:47):
The problem is, it often doesn'tfeel like self doubt in the
moment.
It can feel like, I'm just notready yet.
I don't know enough.
Maybe I'll start next month whenI have more time.
I'm not the kind of person whodoes things like that.
So first of all, let's look atwhy self doubt keeps you stuck
(07:10):
in the fear of overthinking.
Firstly, self doubt keeps youstuck in fear and overthinking.
So think about something you'vewanted to do for a while.
Maybe it's starting a newcareer, launching a business, or
just speaking up morecomfortably in conversations.
(07:31):
You probably thought about it alot, maybe even researched it,
but when it came to time to takeaction, something stopped you.
That self doubt in action, ittraps you in a thinking phase
because taking action feelsrisky.
The fear of failure, rejection,or making the wrong choice makes
(07:53):
you hesitate.
Maybe you've been wanting tostart a new project.
A creative hobby, or even a sidehustle.
But instead of starting, youresearch endlessly, watch
YouTube videos, read books, andtell yourself, I'll start when I
have everything figured out.
Months pass, and you're still inthe same place.
(08:15):
Maybe you've been watching,maybe you've been wanting to
start a new project, a creativehobby, or even a side hustle,
but instead of starting, youresearch endlessly, watch
YouTube videos, read books, andtell yourself, I'll start when
I've everything figured out.
Months pass, and you're still inthe same place.
(08:36):
That self doubt disguised aspreparing.
This is one thing that I dopersonally.
I remember so whenever I getstuck, I go and plan and then
once I planned, I start makingprogress and then I hit a block
and then I plan again.
(08:57):
I do all the planning and then Istart again and then I plan.
And this is a loop that I'vebeen going through for many
years, and it's only beenprobably the last six months
where I've actually realizedthat this is one of my days.
(09:17):
One of my coping mechanisms whenit comes to self doubt.
And so I've had to realize thatit's all very great planning all
the time, but without actuallytaking action and doing
something, planning is useless.
So here's the truth.
You don't need more time orknowledge.
(09:37):
You just need to start.
Self doubt destroys yourconfidence over time.
So confidence isn't somethingyou're born with.
It's something you build bytaking action.
But here's the dangerous thingabout self doubt.
The longer you avoid takingaction, the more your brain
(09:57):
reinforces that belief that youcan't do it.
It becomes a loop.
You doubt yourself, you avoidtaking action, you feel like a
failure, you doubt yourself evenmore, and so on and so on.
So imagine two people.
Person A feels nervous aboutspeaking in public, but does it
(10:19):
anyway.
Even if he messes up, they proveto themselves that they can do
it.
And person B avoids speaking upbecause they fear like looking
foolish and over time theyconvince themselves that they're
just not a good speaker.
(10:39):
I'm going to talk about quicklyabout a time that I was speaking
in front of, I think it wasabout a hundred professional
speakers.
I was doing this competition andI had to create a five minute
speech.
And I had practised andpractised and practised.
When it came to the day, I wasnervous, yeah, and what I did
(11:04):
was I went onto stage and I saidthe first sentence and within
the first sentence or two I hadcompletely forgot what I was
going to say.
And I could actually hear thecrowd saying, Come on, James!
Come on, James! You've got this!And then I started again and I
forgot.
(11:26):
Now, I had two options.
Like person A and person B.
The first option is I could haverun off stage and avoided it
completely.
And, But that would only havereinforced to me that I'm not
good enough.
That I'm not worthy.
I can't do that.
I'm not a born spe I'm not aspeaker.
(11:48):
Or, I could make the decisionjust to roll with it.
Just allow the words to flow outof my mouth.
Don't worry about the speech,just talk about what comes up.
And that's what I did.
And during that Talk, I was theonly one in that round to get a
(12:12):
standing ovation and do you wantto know why I got a standing
ovation?
It was because I took thecourage just to talk, to
overcome that fear of failure,to overcome the imposter
syndrome and just to let thewords flow out of my mouth.
Can you see the differencebetween person A and person B,
(12:36):
but also how I could haveresponded in both those
situations.
Truth here is the only way tobuild confidence is to take
action before you feel ready.
And as you take action, youbecome more and more confident.
It requires bravery.
To do it, even though you knowthat you are nervous, even
(12:59):
though that you know you canmake a mistake, even though you
know that something couldhappen, you still do it.
You have that bravery withinyourself.
This is actually just what I'mtalking about, bravery.
This is a great quality toincorporate into your life.
Allow yourself to feel thatbravery and to really step into
(13:23):
that person who you are meant tobe.
Self doubt can also lead toprocrastination and excuses.
This is something that I've hadhappen to me many times.
One of the biggest lies withself doubt is that it tells you,
I'll start when I feel ready.
(13:44):
But the truth is You never feelready.
Self doubt tricks you intoprocrastinating, making you
believe you need more time, moreknowledge, more experience, more
confidence.
But the only way to feel readyis to start before you feel
ready.
One of my own patterns frommyself is that when I feel lost
(14:10):
or don't know what I need to do,I will go downstairs and watch
films.
I've done it many a times whereI've done an hour of work, and
then all of a sudden I'm like, Idon't feel ready.
I can't do this.
What am I meant to do?
And then I'll find myselfwatching films the remainder of
the day.
And then I will, at the end ofthe day, I'll look back and
(14:33):
think to myself, why did I dothat?
I could have at least donesomething.
The truth is, readiness comesfrom doing, not waiting.
So here are a few questions toreflect on.
I want you to ask yourself,what's one thing I keep
(14:53):
postponing because of fear?
And what one action step can Itake to step into that fear?
Where might I be overthinkinginstead of taking action?
If I didn't doubt myself, whatwould I be doing differently
(15:16):
right now?
I challenge you, take one smallaction step today in any area
where self doubt might beholding you back.
So now let's talk about threepowerful mindset shifts to
overcome self doubt.
First one, reframing failure isfeedback.
(15:39):
Failure isn't the opposite ofsuccess.
It's a stepping stone towardsit.
Every successful person hasfailed multiple times.
The only difference is insteadof stopping, they learn from it
and keep going.
Think about it.
How many times did you fallbefore you learned to walk?
(16:01):
As a baby, how many times did westand up, start walking, fall
down, get back up?
How many times did we failtalking?
How many times did we failtrying to eat with a spoon and
fork?
How many times did we failtrying to do different things?
(16:25):
And then as we grow up, we getto the point where we might have
one failure and then we thinkwe're, we are an actual failure
and we can't do it.
And so this kind of leads on tothat as adults, we need to take
this baby mindset of to keeptrying, keep going.
(16:46):
If you fail, great, try again.
And try again, take into accountof what might not didn't work
and what did work andincorporate what did work into
into what you're doing.
I remember when I first launchedthis podcast and I did an
(17:06):
episode on my own.
And it was so difficult becauseI would do it, I would stop, I
would do it, I would stop, Iwould look at something that's
not good enough.
But in hindsight, now, I thinkto myself, it's all learning.
Every time I record an episodeon my own, I have to learn how
(17:30):
to be able to carry on theconversation.
I have to grow into thinking,okay, that I might have done
this a little bit wrong.
How can I make it better?
And one, one thing I do as well,I asked the guest, is there
anyway that I could improve howI interview you.
And each time I get feedback andI incorporate that feedback into
(17:53):
the next interview.
And this way I get better.
And so it's about reframing yourthinking.
So rather than seeing I fail, soI should quit, I see it as I
fail.
So now I know what doesn't work.
Let's try again.
(18:14):
So action step.
Think about one thing you failedat.
A project, a relationship, or agoal.
What did you learn from it?
If we treated that failure asfeedback instead of proof that
you weren't good enough, howwould your mindset change?
Mindset shift to stop waitingfor confidence and take action.
(18:40):
So most people believe they needconfidence before they take
action, but it's the other wayaround.
Confidence is built throughaction.
So imagine someone who wants tobe a great public speaker.
If they wait until they'reconfident, they're never going
to get on stage.
You've literally, you've got tothrow yourself out.
(19:03):
So if you want to become a greatpublic speaker, you've got to
get in front of peopleregardless of whether you feel
comfortable or not.
I remember when I first joinedToastmasters.
So Toastmasters is a communityof speakers.
It's all around the globe, butit's very friendly and
supportive.
I remember the first 10interviews, I was terrified.
(19:24):
My first speech, I was shaking.
It was terrifying.
And I wasn't good.
But I got up the next time.
By the 10th time, I realizedthat I'm getting better.
But it took that first ninetimes to get, to realize that I
was getting better.
(19:45):
So reframe your thinking from,I'll start when I'm ready, to
I'll never feel ready.
I need to start now.
So what's one thing you've beenputting off because you don't
feel confident enough?
Take one small step today.
Even if it's just sending anemail, writing an outline doing
(20:06):
a rough draft, starting apodcast, or maybe it's just
saying to that person that couldbe going on a date.
It could be just taking thesteps to find a new hobby, or it
could be anything.
Just take one small action step.
It hasn't got to be big, it canbe the tiniest of steps.
(20:26):
Mindset shift number three.
Speak to yourself like a friend.
The question I want to ask is,would you talk to your best
friend the way you talk toyourself?
Probably not.
I know from past experiences howI've literally tweeted myself.
I'm not good enough.
I always mess things up.
(20:48):
I will never succeed.
I am unworthy.
How can I do that?
You're an idiot.
You shouldn't be doing that.
How?
Why?
And if you told your friendsthis, they'd walk away.
But if you told a friend thatyou were struggling, I'm pretty
sure they would encourage you.
(21:11):
So You'd say, you've got this.
You're learning and that's okay.
Keep going and making progress.
So it's about reframing yourthinking from I'm not good
enough to I'm capable.
I'm growing.
I'm doing my best.
So here's a great action stepthat you can take when it comes
(21:32):
to treating yourself like you'rethe best friend.
I want you to catch yourself innegative self talk today.
The moment you say something tounkind yourself, pause and
replace it with somethingsupportive.
And see, over the day, how itchanges.
Now that we've talked aboutthree mindset shifts, I want to
(21:55):
talk about a simple strategy tobeat self doubt today.
And it's called the what if itworks exercise.
Self doubt always asks us, whatif I fail?
But what if you flip thatquestion?
And instead of asking, what if Ifail?
Try, what if this actuallyworks?
(22:17):
I want you to think aboutsomething you've been holding
back on, maybe starting aproject, launching a business,
making a big life decision,asking a man or a woman on a
date, starting a new hobby,trying something that you put
off for years.
(22:37):
What if it works?
What if you take a risk, and itleads to something incredible?
What if this one decisionchanges everything?
So here's the mindset shift.
Most of the time, our worstfears never happen.
But we let them control usanyway.
(22:58):
So instead of obsessing over theworst case scenario, Let's start
to focus on the best casescenario.
Action step.
I want you to take one smallaction today towards something
that self doubt has been holdingyou back from.
Even if it's uncomfortable, evenif it's scary, just one tiny
(23:23):
step.
This is the challenge.
And I want you to ask yourself,what's one thing fear has been
stopping you from doing?
And what one action can you taketoday?
I would love to hear yourfeedback, so please leave me a
comment, or you can DM me, I dohave my details in the podcast.
(23:49):
So just to finish off thisepisode, I want to leave one key
takeaway.
I want you to know that selfdoubt is normal, but it doesn't
have to control you.
The only way to build confidenceis to take action before you
(24:10):
feel ready.
Please leave me a comment, DMme, and let me know What you for
this episode, because the morethat I get your feedback, the
better, the more that I can knowwhat topics to talk about, how,
what kind of people to bring inand how I can best serve you.
(24:30):
I'd love it if you couldsubscribe to the podcast,
because this just means that youwill see more of my content and
this will definitely help you.
Also, you can find me onsocials.
In this episode, you will learnwhere self doubt comes from and
why we all experience it.
The hidden ways self doubt stopsyou from living your full
potential.
You will learn three powerfulmindset shifts to break free
from self doubt and a simplestrategy you can use today to
(00:22):
build confidence.
Welcome to Man (00:24):
A Quest to Find Meaning, where we help men
navigate modern life, find theirtrue purpose, and redefine
manhood.
I'm your host, James, and eachweek, inspiring guests share
their journeys of overcomingfear Embracing vulnerability and
finding success.
(00:44):
From experts to everyday heroes.
Get practical advice andpowerful insights.
Struggling with career,relationships or personal
growth?
We've got you covered.
Join us on Man Quest to FindMeaning.
Now, let's dive in.
Have you ever felt like you'renot good enough?
(01:06):
Like no matter how much you try,that little voice in your head
tells you that you're going tofail.
Maybe you've had a great ideabut talked yourself out of it,
or you wanted to take action butsomething inside of you told you
that you're not ready.
(01:27):
If that sounds familiar, you arenot alone..
So today, I want to have anhonest conversation about self
doubt.
Why we experience it, how itholds us back, and most
importantly, how do we breakfree from it?
(01:53):
Self doubt isn't in your head.
It's a survival mechanism.
Our brains are wired to keep ussafe.
Anytime we step into somethingnew, uncertain, unknown, our
brain, our brains send a warningsignal.
(02:16):
What if I fail?
What if people judge me?
What if I'm not good enough?
These are all normal.
So if you are feeling any ofthese, don't worry, you are not
(02:36):
alone.
Here's some common causes ofself doubt.
There's fear of failure.
What if I mess up?
Fear of judgment.
What will people think?
Now, just in this exact momentof recording this episode, it's
(02:58):
taken me five times to recordit.
And there's this feeling oftrying to be perfect.
So every time I make a mistake,I'm like, oh no, there's this
fear of failure.
And at the same time, ofrecording this episode.
(03:21):
I feel as though almost everytime I make this mistake, I feel
like people are going to judgeme.
This person's made a mistake.
He's rubbish.
He shouldn't be doingpodcasting.
So it can happen in any moment.
And this is probably, this isideal time for it to happen
because I can explain, but alsoat the same time, I can still
(03:45):
take the steps to carry on.
It's also the idea of comparingourselves to others.
So I might record this episodeand compare myself to somebody
who's been doing it for three orfour years.
Which then means that myepisode's rubbish, so I should
(04:07):
do it again and again until it'sperfect.
Alright.
And then there's the idea of impPotter syndrome.
I don't deserve to be here.
Who am I to do podcasting?
I'm not a podcaster.
So we, this is something that weall go for it.
I believe that everybody hasself-doubt, but it's how that,
(04:32):
it's about how we reframe it.
which makes us stronger.
A couple of other stories I wantto talk about.
So I've been in business since2018.
And what I've noticed over thelast, I think it's seven years
(04:55):
now, is that I've had majorbattles myself down.
Major battles.
I start to progress, I startmaking, headway with different
things, and then I doubt myself.
And doubt for me might come inthe way of procrastination, it
(05:17):
might come in the way ofoverwhelm, it might come with
the idea of, comparing myself toothers.
Imposter syndrome, I don'tdeserve to be here.
Who am I to do business?
I've never done a businesscourse.
Who am I to do that?
During COVID, I did 86interviews with the idea of
(05:40):
creating a podcast on highachieving people.
I did the episodes, I had themall recorded on Zoom, ready to
go on to podcasting, and thensuddenly, BANG! Just like that,
I was hit with self doubt.
Why am I doing that?
Who's going to listen to what Irecorded?
(06:01):
And in that moment, I stoppedmyself from launching my first
podcast.
And this hit me really hard.
I felt unworthy, I felt asthough I didn't belong there, I
felt as though I was worthless,and I literally have them all
(06:25):
recorded, but I've never usedthem.
And this for me has been sofrustrating.
Self doubt isn't just aninconvenience, it's something
that can silently control yourlife, keeping you from reaching
your full potential.
(06:47):
The problem is, it often doesn'tfeel like self doubt in the
moment.
It can feel like, I'm just notready yet.
I don't know enough.
Maybe I'll start next month whenI have more time.
I'm not the kind of person whodoes things like that.
So first of all, let's look atwhy self doubt keeps you stuck
(07:10):
in the fear of overthinking.
Firstly, self doubt keeps youstuck in fear and overthinking.
So think about something you'vewanted to do for a while.
Maybe it's starting a newcareer, launching a business, or
just speaking up morecomfortably in conversations.
(07:31):
You probably thought about it alot, maybe even researched it,
but when it came to time to takeaction, something stopped you.
That self doubt in action, ittraps you in a thinking phase
because taking action feelsrisky.
The fear of failure, rejection,or making the wrong choice makes
(07:53):
you hesitate.
Maybe you've been wanting tostart a new project.
A creative hobby, or even a sidehustle.
But instead of starting, youresearch endlessly, watch
YouTube videos, read books, andtell yourself, I'll start when I
have everything figured out.
Months pass, and you're still inthe same place.
(08:15):
Maybe you've been watching,maybe you've been wanting to
start a new project, a creativehobby, or even a side hustle,
but instead of starting, youresearch endlessly, watch
YouTube videos, read books, andtell yourself, I'll start when
I've everything figured out.
Months pass, and you're still inthe same place.
(08:36):
That self doubt disguised aspreparing.
This is one thing that I dopersonally.
I remember so whenever I getstuck, I go and plan and then
once I planned, I start makingprogress and then I hit a block
and then I plan again.
(08:57):
I do all the planning and then Istart again and then I plan.
And this is a loop that I'vebeen going through for many
years, and it's only beenprobably the last six months
where I've actually realizedthat this is one of my days.
(09:17):
One of my coping mechanisms whenit comes to self doubt.
And so I've had to realize thatit's all very great planning all
the time, but without actuallytaking action and doing
something, planning is useless.
So here's the truth.
You don't need more time orknowledge.
(09:37):
You just need to start.
Self doubt destroys yourconfidence over time.
So confidence isn't somethingyou're born with.
It's something you build bytaking action.
But here's the dangerous thingabout self doubt.
The longer you avoid takingaction, the more your brain
(09:57):
reinforces that belief that youcan't do it.
It becomes a loop.
You doubt yourself, you avoidtaking action, you feel like a
failure, you doubt yourself evenmore, and so on and so on.
So imagine two people.
Person A feels nervous aboutspeaking in public, but does it
(10:19):
anyway.
Even if he messes up, they proveto themselves that they can do
it.
And person B avoids speaking upbecause they fear like looking
foolish and over time theyconvince themselves that they're
just not a good speaker.
(10:39):
I'm going to talk about quicklyabout a time that I was speaking
in front of, I think it wasabout a hundred professional
speakers.
I was doing this competition andI had to create a five minute
speech.
And I had practised andpractised and practised.
When it came to the day, I wasnervous, yeah, and what I did
(11:04):
was I went onto stage and I saidthe first sentence and within
the first sentence or two I hadcompletely forgot what I was
going to say.
And I could actually hear thecrowd saying, Come on, James!
Come on, James! You've got this!And then I started again and I
forgot.
(11:26):
Now, I had two options.
Like person A and person B.
The first option is I could haverun off stage and avoided it
completely.
And, But that would only havereinforced to me that I'm not
good enough.
That I'm not worthy.
I can't do that.
I'm not a born spe I'm not aspeaker.
(11:48):
Or, I could make the decisionjust to roll with it.
Just allow the words to flow outof my mouth.
Don't worry about the speech,just talk about what comes up.
And that's what I did.
And during that Talk, I was theonly one in that round to get a
(12:12):
standing ovation and do you wantto know why I got a standing
ovation?
It was because I took thecourage just to talk, to
overcome that fear of failure,to overcome the imposter
syndrome and just to let thewords flow out of my mouth.
Can you see the differencebetween person A and person B,
(12:36):
but also how I could haveresponded in both those
situations.
Truth here is the only way tobuild confidence is to take
action before you feel ready.
And as you take action, youbecome more and more confident.
It requires bravery.
To do it, even though you knowthat you are nervous, even
(12:59):
though that you know you canmake a mistake, even though you
know that something couldhappen, you still do it.
You have that bravery withinyourself.
This is actually just what I'mtalking about, bravery.
This is a great quality toincorporate into your life.
Allow yourself to feel thatbravery and to really step into
(13:23):
that person who you are meant tobe.
Self doubt can also lead toprocrastination and excuses.
This is something that I've hadhappen to me many times.
One of the biggest lies withself doubt is that it tells you,
I'll start when I feel ready.
(13:44):
But the truth is You never feelready.
Self doubt tricks you intoprocrastinating, making you
believe you need more time, moreknowledge, more experience, more
confidence.
But the only way to feel readyis to start before you feel
ready.
One of my own patterns frommyself is that when I feel lost
(14:10):
or don't know what I need to do,I will go downstairs and watch
films.
I've done it many a times whereI've done an hour of work, and
then all of a sudden I'm like, Idon't feel ready.
I can't do this.
What am I meant to do?
And then I'll find myselfwatching films the remainder of
the day.
And then I will, at the end ofthe day, I'll look back and
(14:33):
think to myself, why did I dothat?
I could have at least donesomething.
The truth is, readiness comesfrom doing, not waiting.
So here are a few questions toreflect on.
I want you to ask yourself,what's one thing I keep
(14:53):
postponing because of fear?
And what one action step can Itake to step into that fear?
Where might I be overthinkinginstead of taking action?
If I didn't doubt myself, whatwould I be doing differently
(15:16):
right now?
I challenge you, take one smallaction step today in any area
where self doubt might beholding you back.
So now let's talk about threepowerful mindset shifts to
overcome self doubt.
First one, reframing failure isfeedback.
(15:39):
Failure isn't the opposite ofsuccess.
It's a stepping stone towardsit.
Every successful person hasfailed multiple times.
The only difference is insteadof stopping, they learn from it
and keep going.
Think about it.
How many times did you fallbefore you learned to walk?
(16:01):
As a baby, how many times did westand up, start walking, fall
down, get back up?
How many times did we failtalking?
How many times did we failtrying to eat with a spoon and
fork?
How many times did we failtrying to do different things?
(16:25):
And then as we grow up, we getto the point where we might have
one failure and then we thinkwe're, we are an actual failure
and we can't do it.
And so this kind of leads on tothat as adults, we need to take
this baby mindset of to keeptrying, keep going.
(16:46):
If you fail, great, try again.
And try again, take into accountof what might not didn't work
and what did work andincorporate what did work into
into what you're doing.
I remember when I first launchedthis podcast and I did an
(17:06):
episode on my own.
And it was so difficult becauseI would do it, I would stop, I
would do it, I would stop, Iwould look at something that's
not good enough.
But in hindsight, now, I thinkto myself, it's all learning.
Every time I record an episodeon my own, I have to learn how
(17:30):
to be able to carry on theconversation.
I have to grow into thinking,okay, that I might have done
this a little bit wrong.
How can I make it better?
And one, one thing I do as well,I asked the guest, is there
anyway that I could improve howI interview you.
And each time I get feedback andI incorporate that feedback into
(17:53):
the next interview.
And this way I get better.
And so it's about reframing yourthinking.
So rather than seeing I fail, soI should quit, I see it as I
fail.
So now I know what doesn't work.
Let's try again.
(18:14):
So action step.
Think about one thing you failedat.
A project, a relationship, or agoal.
What did you learn from it?
If we treated that failure asfeedback instead of proof that
you weren't good enough, howwould your mindset change?
Mindset shift to stop waitingfor confidence and take action.
(18:40):
So most people believe they needconfidence before they take
action, but it's the other wayaround.
Confidence is built throughaction.
So imagine someone who wants tobe a great public speaker.
If they wait until they'reconfident, they're never going
to get on stage.
You've literally, you've got tothrow yourself out.
(19:03):
So if you want to become a greatpublic speaker, you've got to
get in front of peopleregardless of whether you feel
comfortable or not.
I remember when I first joinedToastmasters.
So Toastmasters is a communityof speakers.
It's all around the globe, butit's very friendly and
supportive.
I remember the first 10interviews, I was terrified.
(19:24):
My first speech, I was shaking.
It was terrifying.
And I wasn't good.
But I got up the next time.
By the 10th time, I realizedthat I'm getting better.
But it took that first ninetimes to get, to realize that I
was getting better.
(19:45):
So reframe your thinking from,I'll start when I'm ready, to
I'll never feel ready.
I need to start now.
So what's one thing you've beenputting off because you don't
feel confident enough?
Take one small step today.
Even if it's just sending anemail, writing an outline doing
(20:06):
a rough draft, starting apodcast, or maybe it's just
saying to that person that couldbe going on a date.
It could be just taking thesteps to find a new hobby, or it
could be anything.
Just take one small action step.
It hasn't got to be big, it canbe the tiniest of steps.
(20:26):
Mindset shift number three.
Speak to yourself like a friend.
The question I want to ask is,would you talk to your best
friend the way you talk toyourself?
Probably not.
I know from past experiences howI've literally tweeted myself.
I'm not good enough.
I always mess things up.
(20:48):
I will never succeed.
I am unworthy.
How can I do that?
You're an idiot.
You shouldn't be doing that.
How?
Why?
And if you told your friendsthis, they'd walk away.
But if you told a friend thatyou were struggling, I'm pretty
sure they would encourage you.
(21:11):
So You'd say, you've got this.
You're learning and that's okay.
Keep going and making progress.
So it's about reframing yourthinking from I'm not good
enough to I'm capable.
I'm growing.
I'm doing my best.
So here's a great action stepthat you can take when it comes
(21:32):
to treating yourself like you'rethe best friend.
I want you to catch yourself innegative self talk today.
The moment you say something tounkind yourself, pause and
replace it with somethingsupportive.
And see, over the day, how itchanges.
Now that we've talked aboutthree mindset shifts, I want to
(21:55):
talk about a simple strategy tobeat self doubt today.
And it's called the what if itworks exercise.
Self doubt always asks us, whatif I fail?
But what if you flip thatquestion?
And instead of asking, what if Ifail?
Try, what if this actuallyworks?
(22:17):
I want you to think aboutsomething you've been holding
back on, maybe starting aproject, launching a business,
making a big life decision,asking a man or a woman on a
date, starting a new hobby,trying something that you put
off for years.
(22:37):
What if it works?
What if you take a risk, and itleads to something incredible?
What if this one decisionchanges everything?
So here's the mindset shift.
Most of the time, our worstfears never happen.
But we let them control usanyway.
(22:58):
So instead of obsessing over theworst case scenario, Let's start
to focus on the best casescenario.
Action step.
I want you to take one smallaction today towards something
that self doubt has been holdingyou back from.
Even if it's uncomfortable, evenif it's scary, just one tiny
(23:23):
step.
This is the challenge.
And I want you to ask yourself,what's one thing fear has been
stopping you from doing?
And what one action can you taketoday?
I would love to hear yourfeedback, so please leave me a
comment, or you can DM me, I dohave my details in the podcast.
(23:49):
So just to finish off thisepisode, I want to leave one key
takeaway.
I want you to know that selfdoubt is normal, but it doesn't
have to control you.
The only way to build confidenceis to take action before you
(24:10):
feel ready.
Please leave me a comment, DMme, and let me know What you for
this episode, because the morethat I get your feedback, the
better, the more that I can knowwhat topics to talk about, how,
what kind of people to bring inand how I can best serve you.
(24:30):
I'd love it if you couldsubscribe to the podcast,
because this just means that youwill see more of my content and
this will definitely help you.
Also, you can find me onsocials.
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