Episode Transcript
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If I told you the biggestadventure of your life.
Could start with just onedecision.
And what if this one decision.
It's something you can maketoday.
Would you take the risk?
What would you carry on?
Life is normal.
(00:21):
Welcome to Man QuestifyingMeaning, where we help men
navigate modern life, find theirtrue purpose, and redefine
manhood.
I'm your host, James, and eachweek, inspiring guests share
their journeys of overcomingfear Embracing vulnerability and
finding success.
(00:41):
From experts to everyday heroes.
Get practical advice andpowerful insights.
Struggling with career,relationships or personal
growth?
We've got you covered.
Join us on Man Quest to FindMeaning.
Now, let's dive in.
I've been looking at ways inwhich I can improve this
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podcast.
And one of the ways, I thought,was to have certain topics, or a
specific topic, on a specificepisode.
So, for example, I might have anepisode on anxiety.
I might have an episode onaddictions.
(01:26):
I might have an episode on selfconfidence, on health, on well
being.
And this will go be exactly thesame for guest interviews.
So, again, with the guestinterviews, The guest will have
a specific topic that they focuson.
That will be what we focus onwith regards to the podcast
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episode.
But as of today, I'm doing asolo episode and I wanted to
talk a little bit aboutadventure.
Now, the reason I pickedadventure is because I've just
been on a six month, sorry, asix week trip to New Zealand.
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And this adventure, as I callit, it has really expanded
myself as a human being, as aperson, as a friend, as family.
And it's helped me to really tounderstand myself.
So first things first, what's,what's an adventure?
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An adventure is something new,something exciting, something
where we step into the unknown.
Now, a venture hasn'tnecessarily got to be something
like a trip to New Zealand or atrip to America.
It could be as simple as goingon a walk, a big long walk.
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It could be as simple asstarting a new phase in your
life.
It could be So it could be evenbe a new fitness regime.
It could be, it could beanything.
An adventure is just somethingnew, exciting, and it's, and it
can scare you.
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An adventure can scare people.
And we'll talk about some of thefears later on.
So let's quickly go along thelines of whilst I was in New
Zealand, I visited Hobbiton.
And in Hobbiton, obviously,there's the films Lord of the
Rings and The Hobbit.
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Now, in The Hobbit Bilbo, heusually, initially resisted the
urge to go on this adventurewith the dwarves simply because
it scared him.
It was the unknown.
He didn't know what to do, buteventually he came around to it
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and it was one of the bestdecisions that he made in his
life.
And obviously, at the end, hewrites, he writes a book all
about his adventure.
So what are some of thebenefits?
What, so what, what can anadventure bring to your life?
The first thing is it can helpwith self confidence.
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So if I use an example of NewZealand as, as a base for what
I'm talking about, with selfconfidence, there's the idea of
navigating The, the airports, Ihad three, two connecting
flights, but also there's theidea that I spent a lot of time
on my own.
So then there's the building,the self confidence of being by
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yourself, but also happen tocommunicate and speak to other
people is the idea that it canhelp to build with anxiety
because initially.
It's you're going to feelanxious quite often, quite often
when you step into theseadventures, these new things,
these, these things, it's reallybroadened your perspective.
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There is that feeling of anxietyof fear, but then eventually,
eventually.
It becomes second nature, andyou do it anyway, and anxiety
disappears.
Even better is that you canallow yourself to feel that
anxiety in that moment, andallow that anxiety to leave you.
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It also helps with selfdiscovery.
So while I was away over the sixweeks, I learned so much about
myself.
I learned how I functionthroughout a day, especially on
my own.
Like.
I learned that I can't spend thewhole day doing activity,
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activity, activity, activitybecause I get exhausted.
So I've learned that I can dosomething for two or three hours
in the morning, then have twohours rest for lunch, then go
and do some more stuff in theafternoon and the evening, and
then chill.
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But then at the same time, I candecide, okay, on this certain
day, I'm perhaps going to go fora whole day walk, and I'll go
and do that.
But also I've learned that it's,it's, it's about Finding out who
you are as a person, how youfunction, how you go about in
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the unknowing.
So, it's quite often, most,every activity that I did was
really, I didn't know what wasgoing to happen.
So, it's helped to teach me totrust that in the unknown,
things always, or most of thetime, work out.
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It's also about Broadening one'sperspective on life, on
cultures, on people, andunderstanding how do other
people or people, people likethe Maoris, how, how do they
function as, as, as a people.
And it's also about helping, itcan help with your fitness.
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So if you're going on quite anactive an adventure, then it's
going to help with your fitness.
It might, there's also thatsense of.
And this is one of the biggerones.
Sense of fulfillment.
So what do I mean by sense offulfillment?
So being able to navigate theairports.
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That's fulfilling.
What's even more fulfilling isnavigating an airport where they
don't actually speak English.
That's fulfilling.
It's fulfilling to be able to goand speak to different people.
It's fulfilling spending time onyour own, but at the same time,
it can be fulfilling spendingtime with other people.
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It's fulfilling kind of doingthe different activities,
especially ones that you knoware going to scare you, and you
are able to accomplish it.
That's fulfilling.
This is an adventure foryourself, might not be Might not
be getting traveling to NewZealand.
It could be if it could be asdangerous as training to climb
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Mount Everest or K2 and thenclimbing it.
That might be a big, bigadventure for yourself.
If you're a climber, it might betaken on.
A new fitness regime, it couldbe maybe you want to start
things like CrossFit, or maybejust maybe you want to start a
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new job, a new chapter in yourlife, an adventure could be even
going starting to go on datingapps and going on dates.
That's an adventure.
It's a different type ofadventure.
So.
We've looked at what anadventure is.
We've looked at some of thebenefits, but also the, the one
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thing that stops most people intheir tracks regards to
adventures of fears.
And one of the biggest fears,and it's, it's, it's, it happens
to us all is the fear of theunknown because.
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Within the fear of the unknown,you don't know what's going to
happen.
You don't, you know, I feel, Ifeel sometimes as human beings,
we want to try and control ourday.
But in the unknown, we have nocontrol.
We don't know what's going tohappen.
We don't know who we're going tomeet.
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We don't know what dangers arelurking around.
And quite often, When it's aboutstepping into the unknown as
part of ourselves, maybe ourinner child, or maybe the, the
safety, the safety the safetyside of ourselves wants to keep
us safe.
So we'll make us resist, orwe'll self sabotage ourselves in
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order to not take that newadventure.
But in the unknown, I alwaysfind that We find the gold in
the unknown, we find new things,we learn things about ourselves
that we never knew, we learnabout new paths, we learn about,
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quite often in the unknown, thatis where you might meet your
partner, whether it's a wife,husband, boyfriend, girlfriend,
whatever it is.
Quite often in the unknown iswhere we find.
Our purpose in your knowing iswhere we find the jobs that we
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absolutely love.
Also, there's the fear offailure.
So you might take that firststep or the second or third step
of that adventure, but then youmight fail.
And I'm gonna say it here now,that is okay.
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We all, all the, all the, allthe top people who have done,
who have done massive things intheir life have failed many,
many, many, many, many times,but we feel we fear failure
because we want things to goperfect.
And so we have this fear offailure and really stepping into
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this new adventure.
And we don't even go on theadventure because we're afraid
of failing, because failuremight mean death to us.
Not quite literally, but itmight mean death.
Failure might mean that peopleleave us.
And we don't want that, do we?
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Because it's Where it's, youknow, if it happens, what's
going to happen?
Whoa, what's going to happen?
But also at the same time,there's the, there's a fear of
disappointing others.
So this is, it's kind of linkedinto the fear of the failure
because if we fail, we mightfeel as though we've failed,
we've disappointed a familymember, or we've disappointed a
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friend.
And it's not about, quite often,it's not about the action and
accomplishing whatever, whetherit's a goal, whether it's an
adventure, it's about what youlearn along the way about
yourself.
That's where the self discoverycomes in.
There's also there's a fear ofembarrassment.
So if when you're, if somethingthat you want to do is become a
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big speaker on stage, but youfear the embarrassment, then
quite often you will assistLearning and stepping into
becoming a speaker because youhave this fear that, Oh, no, I
might embarrass myself.
People then will judge mebecause then we have this fear
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of judgment.
So we have all these differentfears.
So, a fear of being seen, fearof judgment.
We have all these differentfears that we're afraid of.
It's our mind telling us, Oh no,what if I go into the airport
and get the wrong flight?
Oh no, what if I turn up and Idon't know what I'm going to do
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and I fall on my face andembarrass myself?
What if I go to a foreigncountry and get kidnapped?
That's the unknown.
But it's quite often thesefears, these fears are
unfounded.
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And so, It's about kind ofallowing these fears to come up
and say, okay, thank you forletting me know that, but I am
choosing to do this.
In fact, I might even do anepisode on fears, but I might
see if I can get a guest speakerwho specializes in helping
people to overcome fears.
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That's a good point, actually,I'll do that.
So, how do we go on anadventure?
What are the steps that we mightneed to take?
The first and most importantstep.
step is to decide.
It's to decide to go on thisadventure in the first place.
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So I made a decision.
I think I've been putting it offand putting it off and putting
it off to go to New Zealandbecause of certain fears, like
fears that I don't have enoughmoney, fears of the unknown,
that kind of thing.
But eventually I made adecision.
I made a decision beginning oflast year that I was going to go
on to New Zealand and see mysister.
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And that's one of the reasons Iwent across actually is my
sister lives across there.
And so it's making thatdecision, whether it's a new
fitness regime, whether it's toclimb a mountain, whether it's
walking, whether it's to travel,whether it's a new business, a
new relationship, it's firstthings first, we need to decide.
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that we're going to do it.
That is the first and mostimportant thing that we need to
do.
Because once you decide, there'sa kind of, there's a force
almost with inside us like,okay, Now that we decide that
we're going or doing this, whatare the things that we need to
do to make it happen?
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And this is where action comesin.
But it's funny though, becausewhen you start to focus on
something, when you set anintention that you're perhaps
going to do this, this or this,suddenly everything comes into
alignment.
Our brains start to focus onwhat we need to do you know,
certain situations happen toalign yourself with this, this
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decision to go on thisadventure.
And so, once we've decided thatwe're going to go on this
adventure, this is where a bitof maybe a bit of research for
planning.
Now, you don't have to researchand plan, you could just
completely go with the flow andsay, you know what, I'm going, I
don't know what I'm going to do,I'm just going to go there and
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then it'll all pan out.
That is kind of next level, butbefore we can get to that next
level We need to have theconfidence and the courage to do
something like this.
So the next step is aboutplanning, planning and research.
So when I decided that I wasgoing to go to New Zealand, the
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first thing first was to findsome flights, research and find
some flights and then pay forthe flights.
So that was the next step.
The step after that was now I'vegot my flights.
I've got set dates.
You know, a six week periodwhere I'm going to go.
So then it's about looking atwhat is it that you, I roughly
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want to do.
What is what, what kind ofitinerary, what kind of stuff do
I want to go and see?
What kind of experiences do Iwant to witness?
Who do I want to meet?
How do I want to meet them?
And then.
Once we've been able to answerall these questions, okay, now
I've got all this, and now Iknow what roughly what I want to
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do, and then it's about planningmy accommodation, it's about
planning my travel, it's aboutdoing, and then it's the small
things like vaccinations and allthat kind of stuff.
So it's researching andplanning.
So this is another example ofresearch and plan.
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Let's use an example of.
We want to run a marathon.
Okay, so you want to run amarathon by, on this date,
you've just booked the date.
Now, you perhaps you've got ayear to before your marathon, so
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then what you're going to dothen is you're going to
research.
Okay.
What is it?
I need to do with regards tomarathon.
So marathon training.
Obviously, the 1st thing isrunning, but also it's about
recovery.
It's about stretching and makingsure that we don't get injuries.
It's also about, I feel, myself,it's a bit about strength
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training with regards to certainmuscle groups.
Yeah, so you're going toresearch all that.
Another example might be, youwant to find a new job.
Doing, or it's public speaking,you're going to be a big, you're
going to be a big speaker.
So then this might involve,okay, we decided that you want
to be a speaker.
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What are the things that I needto research?
So you look at people who are,who are speaking, what do they
do?
You might look at what kind oftopics do I want to speak about?
Who do I want to speak to?
That kind of thing.
That's, that's about it.
Examples.
Examples.
Obviously.
It's about putting aside time,well deciding first, putting
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aside time, researching what youneed to do to accomplish this
thing, and then doing it.
Then, it's about preparing.
So you've done your research,then it's about preparing, so
it's about, I think I've covereda little bit anyway, but
preparing, so the flights, theaccommodation how we eat food,
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all that kind of stuff.
Then it's the simple thing.
It's about taking action.
So it's all very well deciding,researching, preparing, without
the action, you go nowhere.
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So you have to take the steps.
Now for a lot of people, this isone of the most hardest things
to do.
My advice here is to start offnice and simple.
So if you.
Let's get back to the runningquickly.
If you're not a runner and youwant to do a marathon and you've
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done the research and preparedfor it, you might have to start
by going out on runs.
That's the action part.
As well as obviously researchingthis action as well, but the
physical action is to go out andrun.
So the next step is to, it mightjust involve just walking out
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your front door and going for a200 meter run down to the bottom
of your street and then buildingthat up.
from there.
It might involve going out andgetting the correct food for
your nutrition, your diet.
It might involve going out andbuying certain equipment which
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is going to help for yourrecovery.
Quite often the action part isthe hardest bit to do.
You know, we can have this idea.
Yeah, I'm going to do that.
That's not an issue.
I'm going to, all you do isthis, this, this, and this.
And then it comes to the actionpart and we're like I can't.
We make excuses.
We make excuses that we can't doit.
By booking my flights, I tookthe action to say that I was
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going.
You know, I had invested 1600quid.
For my, to my flights there andback.
So suddenly I had what peoplesay, the skin in the game, but
yeah, it's action.
For my, for my own perspective,action is about just starting
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off small, starting off nice andsmall and building up from
there.
Because if we take small action,it's easy to accomplish.
We can then become consistent atthe action side of things.
So you might not want to go sixweeks.
Initially to New Zealand, whichis right beside the wa, beside
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the world.
So you might decide that, youknow what, I'm gonna go for a
two for a a a one night up tothe late district.
I live in the uk.
Or you might decide that you goto go to Europe or a two or
three day break.
That might be your first start.
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These, these adventures oftraveling.
Also, there's the idea thatwithout action, we do not get
results.
In, in, I hear it, I don't know,I maybe, I maybe I got this
wrong, but I'm going to say itanyway.
Some people think that they canjust focus in their head and
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visualize and all will happen.
Again, we can visualize, thenwithout the action, we don't get
anywhere.
But then at the same time, wecan take action, but with no
direction, we end up going likethat.
And we get nowhere.
So alongside action, we need adirection.
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So my direction was to go to NewZealand.
And so, for example, with a newjob, you have to have an idea of
what you want to do.
Because otherwise, you can buythis massive, massive list of
jobs.
And you're like, Oh my word,what do I do?
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And that's when we getoverwhelmed.
So let's go over the main keysteps.
Of really stepping into a newadventure.
The first thing is to decide.
The second thing is to research.
And plan.
The third is to prepare, sowhich, which means to take to
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dictate the action.
And then the fourth step isaction.
So that's the end of thisepisode.
I hope.
I hope it helps.
Please, please let me know.
Please let me know if it helps,because the more that I know it
helps, then the easier.
I can find the easier is for meto know what people want.
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And if I know what people want,then I can help them more.
So if you like the episode,please share with your friends
and family.
And if you have any If you haveany, if you, if this episode's
helped you, leave me atestimonial, leave me, leave me,
leave a rating, because the morethat you are able to leave
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ratings and testimonials, themore people are going to pick up
on this, and the more that I'mable to help more and more
people, because at the end ofthe day, this is what I'm doing,
I'm here to help.
So please share with yourfriends and family, and please,
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if you enjoyed the episode andit helped, leave a review and
give a testimonial.
And I look forward to bringingin next week's episode, which
will be a guest speaker.
So thank you very much and havea great day.