#14 - Sisterhood in Midlife: The Power of Female Connection - Midlife Butterfly: Self-Discovery, Women Empowerment & Life Transitions

Episode Transcript
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Kena Siu (00:04):
Midlife isn't a crisis .
It's a calling, a wake-up callthat shakes it up, strips away
the old and invites you tosomething bigger.
You feel it, don't you thatdeep knowing, that whisper that
says there's more for me?
I see you, beautiful.
You spent years showing up foreveryone else, being the good

(00:25):
wife, the devoted mother, theresponsible woman, and now it's
your turn.
It's time to reclaim your power, pleasure and purpose on your
terms.
I am Kena Siu, a self-love andempowerment guide, and I know
this journey intimately Fourweddings, three countries, two
divorces and one funeral thatchanged everything.

(00:47):
And through it all, I'velearned that midlife isn't about
fading away.
It's about coming home toyourself, embodying your truth
and expanding into your mostradiant self.
Welcome to Midlife Butterfly,where we have real,
soul-shifting conversationsabout the messy, magical

(01:08):
transformation of midlife.
If you are navigating divorce,reinvention, a deep identity
shift or a longing for more,this space is for you.
We explore mindset shift,self-care rituals and embodiment
practices that help youcultivate more joy, freedom and
connection to create a life thatfeels damn good inside and out.

(01:32):
You'll hear from inspiringguests, my own raw and real
experiences and the lessons thatcome when you finally choose
you.
So if you're ready to stopsurviving and start driving in
full alignment.
Welcome.
Your next chapter starts now.
This is Midlife Butterfly.
Welcome, beautiful souls.

(02:00):
I am so excited for this episodebecause I have a powerhouse of
women at Midlife Butterfly today, a group of five amazing and
authentic women which I have thepleasure to become part of
their lives and then are part ofmine Thanks to podcasting.

(02:21):
They are my pod sisters in thepodcast program we're taking
with Kathy Heller, and I can'twait for you to hear their
stories, their wisdom, their joyand feel their energy.
This is going to be amazing andwe're going to dive into the
topic of sisterhood in midlifeand the power of female

(02:42):
friendship.
I will let each of you tointroduce a little bit of you in
a few sentences so people canstart noticing your voices.
So every time you do a share,they can recognize who you are.
I'm just going to take yournames in advance.
So we have Tracy Hill, JenChambers, Casey Taton, Dana

(03:07):
Hunter-Fradella and Jama Pantel.
So thank you all for being here.
Such a pleasure to have youhere, sisters, and I can't wait
to start this conversation okay,Tracy, you want to go first,

(03:33):
sure?

Tracy Hill (03:33):
hello everyone.
Good morning.
My name is Tracy Hill and mycompany is a beautiful fix.
I help women um, redefine andreconnect with what truly makes
them feel alive, to stop relyingon external answers and really
to start to trust the answerswithin, and I do that through my
podcast, retreats and toolslike human design.

Kena Siu (03:56):
Beautiful.
Thank you, Jen.

Jen Chambers (04:01):
Thank you so much for having me.
My name is Jen Chambers and mypodcast is called Resonate with
Jen Chambers.
I talk to people about theirstories and, as a writer, I feel
like people's stories are so,so important and it's my

(04:21):
pleasure to be able to shareother people's journeys.
I often talk about people withchronic illness and that's my
pleasure to be able to shareother people's journeys.
I often talk about people withchronic illness, and that's my
specialty.

Kena Siu (04:32):
Thank you, Casey.

Casey Taton (04:35):
Hi, thanks for having me.
I'm Casey Taton.
I'm the host of the InnerSparkpodcast and I also run an
organization doing parties forkids in the hospital, so my
mission is to bring smiles toany kid going through a battle
in my hometown.

Kena Siu (04:55):
Thank you, dana.

Dana Hunter Fradella (04:58):
Thank you, Kena.
I'm Dana Hunter-Fradella.
I'm coming to you from NewOrleans, louisiana the most
magical place on earth and I ama transformational life and
career coach for women, and mycompany is called Girls who
Recover and I'm the host of thepodcast Girls who Recover with
Dana Hunter-Fradella, and mymission in life is to help women

(05:21):
transform their biggestsetbacks into their most
gorgeous comebacks, so that wecan live lives we absolutely
love.
Thank you so much for having me.

Kena Siu (05:32):
It's a pleasure, Jama.

Jama Pantel (05:35):
Hi y'all.
Thank you so much for having meon here, keena, I really
appreciate it.
My name is Jama Pantel.
I am in Austin, texas, and I ama portrait photographer, turned
author, educator, run,influencer and now chasing my
dreams and starting my podcastbrand building living the whole
picture.

(05:55):
What I learned being in thestudio and behind the camera all
these years is that confidencethat we lack or don't have in
ourselves really comes out onscreen, on film, on camera, and
so my goal now is to help womenfind that confidence so it shows
, so they shine in life, oncamera, in business and in

(06:15):
everything they do thank you,thank you, oh my god, this is
fantastic.

Kena Siu (06:24):
Okay, so let's start even with some other questions
in here.
Uh, well, again, we have thepleasure to meet through the
podcasting program that we aretaking at this moment, but we
know that there are many women,especially with midlife, who
feel like friendships are harderto maintain.

(06:44):
So why do you think thathappens and how can we shift
this narrative?

Tracy Hill (07:03):
So, Tracy, so this you know.
When you reached out to meabout this, I thought this is so
timely because I am married, Ihave four sons, my dog is male,
one of my cats is male.
My whole life has become verytestosterone filled and, um, I
realized recently that I trulymiss sisterhood, like I've been

(07:28):
very neglectful, I think, inbeing a friend and recognizing
how important that part of mylife is, my life became very
much about my family, and so Ithink that's one of the reasons.
As you get to midlife and yourlife is about all the things.
It's about work and keeping thehousehold going and appointments

(07:49):
and sometimes friends, at leastfor me, it started to almost
feel like not optional, but itwas just with my long laundry
list, it was harder for me toreach out and check in on people
.
I'm a great texter, I will doit, I will check in by text, but
physically making time to gosee them was something that I
just it.
It failed to kind of the bottomof my list.

(08:10):
So I think that's a big part ofof why it becomes a little bit
harder.
We're more isolated, everyone'sworking from home, but I made
it a priority recently to reallystart to work on making this a
priority, recognizing howimportant sisterhood is in my

(08:30):
life and it's made a bigdifference in the last year or
so.

Kena Siu (08:37):
Yeah, it's about taking the step forward, so not
waiting for everything to happento us, right?
So thank you for your share.
Absolutely, Dana yeah.

I relate so much so I could have
basically said except for theboys, I have three girls.
Same story, right.
So we, I just think about myjourney through sisterhood and
friendships.
I had close friendships when Iwas in high school and then I
was in a sorority when I was incollege and so that sort of

(09:07):
automatically gives you a greatgroup of friends.
But something happened to meand there are two things I think
that contributed to that is Igot really serious about chasing
my career, like trying to doreally well in my career, and I
just got super focused on thatand prioritize that over other
things.
And I just got super focused onthat and prioritize that over
other things.
And the other thing that ismaybe unique about me, at least

(09:29):
on this call, is that I hadreally terrible alcoholism, and
so I and I don't think that theism part is unique right, like
everybody is recovering fromsomething, but in that recovery
or before the recovery process,it was a lot of isolating and a
lot of separating and a lot ofI'm different.
Or at the end it was very muchlike hiding.

(09:51):
And so even when I got soberand got in recovery, there's
this narrative in my head that,like I'm different, I don't even
know how to make friends, like,by the time I got sober I
couldn't even like talk to women.
It's advised in 12 stepprograms for you to get a mentor

(10:12):
, and women need to work withwomen, and even for the first
year I was like no, I can't, Idon't even want to, and so
that's been a whole differentstory and journey.
But I think that there'ssomething that happens where we
feel separated or isolated andthen we prioritize other things
because it's a little easierthan having intimate friendships
and relationships, which Ifound are so important.

(10:35):
And I love this group becausewe get to practice that right.
We get to practice that righthere, holding space for each
other and learning what it meansto be in, in sisterhood.

Kena Siu (10:45):
So yeah, thank you.
Thank you for sharing part ofyour story as well.
Uh, Jama so much.

Like Tracy said, I am surrounded by boys.
In my personal life.
I am the oldest daughter, twoolder brothers and we are all
back to back in age and if youknow anything about oldest
daughter syndrome, they are thestrongest man you'll ever meet.

That's true.

Yeah, and so there is a gap between me and my
little sisters.
So I grew up around my brothers.
My parents will tell a storywhen I was a little girl, my
brothers were running aroundwith their shirts off and I was
constantly taking my shirt offLike I was convinced why am I
not a boy like that?
And then I am the proud aunt tofive boys.
So my parents have nothing butor my parents have nothing but
five grandsons.

(11:35):
So I am surrounded by boys inmy everyday life and so I always
related to them.
Where I was in sports, I playedLittle League Baseball.
I was the only girl on the team.
I did karate.
Back in the day it was the BoysClub, not the Boys and Girls
Club.
I was the only girl in karate,so it was always easier for me

(11:55):
to relate to boys on the sportsfront.
As I got older and in myprofessional life, I worked, had
a career in politics and Texaspolitics is also all around all
about men and so that's when Istarted being drawn more to the
female leaders and startedcreating friendships with strong
female personalities, andthat's where I finally started

(12:18):
being at home with the femalefriendships.
Um, but I recognize how busy.
So many women are, and I thinkthat's a huge part of why
maintaining those friendshipsand I found that the best
friendships with my femalefriends these days are the ones
who aren't needy and we can gomonths without seeing each other
and the second we're together.
We're, like you know,kindergarten girls squealing

(12:40):
best friends again oh yeah.

Kena Siu (12:43):
Well, for me also that's the best kind of
friendships.
You know you're not codependent, like whatever you're yeah,
whatever you're available, thenyou're there and then it looks
like you just see yesterday,even though sometimes passes
like months or even years.
Right, absolutely yeah, Casey.

I sorry that kind of caught me off guard.
So I think that I faced amedical battle before I worked
in the OR and I had a greatgroup of women that I was
surrounded by, and then, when Igot sick, I think I felt like I
lost all my friends and all myconnections.
And as I started to grow, itwas like where lost all my

(13:25):
friends and all my connections?
And as I started to grow, itwas like where do you meet
friends?
And I'm also.
I don't have kids of my own,and so I think a lot of my
friends had also had kids, andso it was just such a challenge
to where do you go to meetfriends, where do you go to meet
people and to actually trulyconnect?
And I am so grateful that nowI'm in communities that have

(13:47):
women in them and just thepowerful, the power of the
sisterhood in here, and it'sjust, it's just magical
something.
Yeah, it's, it's so good.

Kena Siu (14:03):
Jen, let's go with your chair.

I feel like a combination of everyone, because
I have three kids.
I have two boys and one girland we never thought we would
have a girl.
So it's interesting.
So I grew up as one of two andthen as a parent, my kids are a
little bit older, so I had avery male atmosphere also and

(14:33):
also I'm chronically ill.
So I feel very much like Caseysaying.
There's a different kind ofrelationship you have with
people when you're chronicallyill.
So I have the parent part andthen also you just feel very
isolated.
I'm also physically isolatedbecause I live in a small town.

(14:55):
So as you grow out of theparenting role and your kids get
older, you have a differentrelationship with the people in
the community anyway, and thenas you grow into the different
stages of being chronically ill,you know you have to relate to
people in a different way inthat way.
So, um, it's interesting andespecially as a as a woman,

(15:18):
there's a lot of competitivenessthat, um, I feel like you know
when you're an early you're likewho's the best mom and who
makes the best cupcakes and allthat kind of stuff.
I don't know if anybody elsefeels that, but oh my gosh, but
I always felt like I was notmeasuring up.
I think all parents feel likethat.

(15:41):
I think all parents feel likethat.
But so then trying to relate tothose females that were very
competitive, then it'sinteresting.
As you grow older and grow moreinto yourself, you kind of

(16:04):
leave all that behind.
So at this point I feel likethe best way for me to make
parents as as an older, or makeparents make friends as an older
midlife woman is kind offinding people who have the same
activities.
So not only this wonderfulpodcasting group, but I found a
lot of community within thewriting community, which is
interesting because that's alsostarts out competitive.

(16:26):
But then you realize there'sroom for everyone and it's much
the same with with other women.
You know it's so nice whenwomen make space for other
people and we all can bring ourown things to the table.
I I've learned so much from allof these women, but certainly
by trying to find spaces outsideof my area that I can learn

(16:49):
from.
I feel like I've deemed a lotof friendships that way, if that
makes sense.

Kena Siu (16:58):
Yeah, thank you all.
Yeah, for me, I've been alwayskind of like a lone wolf, to
tell you the truth.
So of course it comes like thatkind of isolation.
But at the same time, sinceI've been living in different
countries and in differentcities throughout my life, like
in the last 20 years, like Ihave very good friendships, but

(17:22):
they are all over the world.
We sometimes I mean it'sdifficult.
I mean I mean difficult in away because it's different to
have a friendship that you cansee every online once in a Hill

(17:45):
and I mean it's not the samekind of flow, if I can put it
that way, because sometimes whatwe prefer just to be more in
contact, in, like in presence ofthe person, that long distance.
So that's why sometimes, like Idon't keep connected to some of
my friendships because ofcourse, they have their own life
and then we sometimes don't getto talk or to see for years.

(18:09):
But the fun part that James wassaying before is that then we
get to see each other and it'slike we're just catching up from
yesterday.
It doesn't matter you know whatelse like happened before is
just, like you know, coming backthat.
But yeah, I mean it wasinteresting because, like during

(18:29):
the pandemic is when Iseparated as well.
So I was like, how am I goingto do like new friendships too,
because we're not able to seemany people?
And my ex-partner he actuallyrecommended me to get into
Bumble, so like they have afriendship area and I was like,
ok, I'll do that.
And I did meet some women inthere, and so that was, you know
, a good point of you know ifsomebody else would like to try

(18:52):
it out, why not?
That there's also women who wewant to have friendships and
more.
At this age, if we are stillsingle, if we don't't have kids,
and even if you ladies aremarried, you have kids, of
course you want to keep growing,uh, you know, your, yeah, your
connections, your network.
So, yeah, thank you all foryour shares.

(19:14):
It's uh beautiful to see howthe different perspectives, how
it comes according to our lifeexperiences, which is awesome.
I would like to know let's gowith these questions what role
do female friendships play in awoman's personal growth, healing

(19:35):
and empowerment, especiallywhen we have a, you know, a big
shake-up of life or lifetransition?
Let's go, Jama.

Yeah, I found that my female friends are my rocks.
I can go to them abouteverything without judgment, and
I know that's not the case withall women, right.
So the ones that stick and theones that stay and the ones that
are your tribe you can go tothem about anything and they
will.
They will go to war with you,um, and all those memes and all

(20:13):
those things about besties andall the things they are so
relatable to the people that youkeep in your corner.
Um, you can bounce ideas off ofthem for business, for life,
for anything, and they will haveyour back 100%.
Even if they know you're wrong,they will still support you and
lovingly talk you back to theright.
But they are your ride or die100%.

(20:36):
And that is the best part ofthe female friendship, in my
opinion, is supporting you nomatter what and all of your
journeys and endeavors, and theywill do that yeah, beautiful
Casey I agree with what Jamasaid um, as we grow and change

(20:58):
in life, um, our friends changeand the people we connect with
change.

And I think, um, this group of ladies right here
is someone I turn to often andwe've laughed together, we've
cried together, we've held spacefor each other and I think,
when you have a circle and Iknow we all have more than one
circle of friends that they'regoing to hold you accountable,
and they're not.
I mean they're going to pickyou up when you're down and
they're going to hold youaccountable, and they're not.

(21:23):
I mean they're going to pickyou up when you're down and
they're going to encourage youand inspire you to keep going.
And those are just, it's justso powerful when you can connect
with a strong group of womenlike that, and I believe they're
out there and you just have tofind them.
And as you keep growing andchanging, they're going to
change.

Kena Siu (21:40):
Some of them may change and others may just grow
with you and just make your lifethat much better yeah, yeah,
it's amazing and I'm so gratefulfor this group like we have so
different personalities andbackgrounds and stories and and
life experiences that make it sorich, like this is a super

(22:03):
wealthy group, I mean, with ourdifferent stories and the
support that we get to receiveand give at the same time when
we gather in different ways, andhow we are growing together.
It's something so beautiful andso fulfilling to experience

(22:24):
with all of you and, yeah, I'mso grateful that you are here,
Jen.

Let's go with your share one of the things that I
think um, to kind of piggybackon what Jama and Casey said one
of the things that is so specialabout this group in particular.
But it makes a space for peopleto be vulnerable, and I think
that as we grow, like Jima wassaying, women have each other's

(22:56):
backs in a different way,because we allow the women in
our lives to be vulnerable andto share those kinds of hard
things and, you know, talk aboutsolutions and then talk about
and just exist in a way that alot of other spaces don't allow
for.
And that's why I think bothit's harder to grow those

(23:22):
friendships sometimes becauseyou have to feel free to be
vulnerable, but also that onceyou have them, they're so
incredibly powerful yes,definitely.

Kena Siu (23:39):
Thank you um, Tracy okay.

Tracy Hill (23:43):
so Jen just mentioned being vulnerable.
I'm going to go there, you'relistening to the ladies share.

Kena Siu (23:48):
It's just us right, Nobody.

Tracy Hill (23:51):
I am having all these epiphanies.
Just listening to thisconversation, I'm realizing I
think I'm intimidated by womenand I have a fear, which I
always have.
I grew up super sensitive.
You could hurt my feelings likethat, look at me the wrong way
and I'm like, oh my gosh, thisperson isn't.

(24:12):
And I think women I was blessed, the women that I have in my
life.
They kind of fell into my lap.
I didn't have to do anything.
I they literally.
I felt like the universedropped them in my lap and
they're the most importantthings to me.
But if they didn't just drop inmy lap, I don't even know how
to like go up to a woman and belike hi, you want to be friends.

(24:35):
I'm so afraid of that.
No, or oh my God, like what?
So I don't do it.
And I've never exercised thatmuscle Again.
I've always had them kind ofnaturally come into my life and
I think I'm afraid of justrejection.
And so with men, for somereason I feel very comfortable.
My stuffed animals were allmale.

(24:58):
I feel very accepted.
I can't explain it, um, and soI think that's why another
reason why my life became verymale dominated.
And but a female friendship,there's nothing like it when I
talk to my husband.
I love him, he's great, but Idrive him crazy because I want
all the detail, I want.
He tells me a story and I'mlike, well did he say I don't

(25:22):
know, I didn't ask that, welldid they?
He gets none of the detail.
But when I call my girlfriends,oh my gosh, they're like three
hour calls.
I haven't called you in forever.
And when I do call, we're onthe phone all day because I need
the details.
And then they said what andwhat, and then we cry together
and then we laugh and you knowthere's nothing like female
companionship.
But listening to you ladies,for the first time in my life

(25:44):
I'm realizing I've got this fearof rejection.
I'm a little intimidated.
It's the sister wound.
You hear people talk about thesister wound.

Kena Siu (25:51):
I have it oh, wow, yes , it does exist.
The thing is, I think becauseprobably I don't know if it's
the Patrick Hill or what, but weas women I mean it has changed
through the years but before itwas competition and I know still

(26:11):
exists is just that women to becompetitive against each other
and that's why a lot ofresistance and that's why, also,
I believe, sometimes it's hardto make friendships when you are
in that kind of energy.
But we have shifted and it'sshifting and now it's about
collaboration and it's adifferent, complete different

(26:33):
approach on how to, yeah, tocreate that kind of connections
and and probably that's why thatfear of rejection comes from
you, Tracy, because you're usedto be by males and being
accepted by them that byapproaching women, that's
probably kind of like the fearthat you have because of that

(26:53):
idea of competition.
That's the way we grow asmidlife women, with midlife
women.
We grow like this way.
We grow as midlife women.
We grow like this, butthankfully we are in a space now
with in a completely differentenergy of collaboration and love
and giving and receiving, andthat it just shift everything

(27:15):
else yes, and I'll say one morething there's nothing more
beautiful than watching womensupport each other, hands down.

Tracy Hill (27:22):
it is just to see women celebrate each other, hold
each other up.
There's something magical aboutit, so I love that we're moving
into this era of sisterhood.

Kena Siu (27:32):
Yes, definitely Dana.

I also am having some epiphanies, but I
wanted to pull up this researchon the power of female
friendships on our kids and sobecause there's so much benefit
for us.
But I was blown away by whatthe research says about the
impact on our kids.
When women, when kids observetheir moms having strong,

(28:03):
positive friendships and asocial circle, their cognitive
development is above their peerswho don't have that.
They have higher self-esteem,they have better social skills
and they feel safer and theyfeel connected and they feel a
sense of belonging in the world.

Wow.

Like if that's not good enough reason to
go out and recruit some newfriends.
And you know, like I don't wantto live my life for my kids,
but I do have three small kidsand I feel like how we're always
asking like how can we createsafety and love and connection
for our kids?
And it's the craziest thing,it's like we take care of

(28:42):
ourselves.
How do we do that?
We link up with other women andthe epiphany that I had, too,
is I was competitive and stilllike have to check myself
because I'm like no, we can't befriends because we're fighting
for the same GPA, we're fightingfor the same seat in grad
school, we're fighting for thesame.
You know, it's like that is thepatriarchy Kena, this sense of

(29:06):
scarcity, like there isn'tplenty for everyone.
There's more than enough.
That's a lie of the patriarchythat there's not enough, yes,
and so it's helped me to reallybreak out of this.
Where did I get that from?
Like, where do we all get ourthings from?
From our moms, so that's theepiphany is like my mom is a

(29:27):
strong, batty woman and she wasa trailblazer in her career and
that did not leave time forintimate friendships, and so we
do what we see.

Kena Siu (29:38):
Yeah.

Unless we are ready to do a generational
interruption and that's what Ithink we're here to do right
Interrupt the generationalpatterns of women competing
against women.
For what right, what for men,for careers, for the things that
like.
By the way, when we get them,we're like what?
Why am I alone?

(29:59):
Why is this not making me happy?
Why am I alone?
Why is this not making me happy?
And so the power of femalefriendships.
It goes way beyond us, although, but like, let's bring it back
to the actual table.
That's one thing I feel reallyproud of is once I was able to
release this narrative that I'mseparate and I'm different, and

(30:19):
if I and there's a competitionthere, here's a secret.
There's no competition, but itstill comes up for me too, even
in the podcasting program.

I'm like well, why does she have?

a billion downloads.
And I only have you know.
It's like oh, hush patriarchy,step aside.
Yes, and then working againstthat.
Where I reach out to thatperson, I'm like that's amazing,
I'm celebrating you and meaningit really deeply.
And the other thing I just wantto say I messaged this group

(30:51):
about 30 minutes before wesigned on and I was like, hey, I
am having a meltdown, I will bethere Right, and just being
open about what is actually real.
I've cried on the calls, I'vetried to do my best to tell the
truth and I think that not thatyou've gotten to the question
about, like, how do you makefriends?
Well, you go first and you showup all of you as an invitation

(31:16):
for the woman who's ready to dothat, to do the same thing, the
same thing.
So I have lots of good friendsand I probably have like five or
six really intimate friendshipsthat I do keep up with
systemically.
They're on the calendar.
We have friend dates eitherevery week or every month.

Kena Siu (31:37):
Thank you, dana Jama.
You want to share somethingelse?
Go ahead.

Yeah, I want to go back and touch on what chasey
said.
In that fear of rejection, Ihave actually been broken up
with by females, um, and I knowa lot of friendships change and
grow and, you know, die off.
But actually having somebodytell you I don't want to be your
friend anymore for x.
I've had that happen twice inmy life and it was the hardest

(32:03):
thing ever and I still thinkabout both of them and one was
way more recent, in midlife, inthe over 45 space, and it's
ridiculously interesting andhard.
But again, you do the inner workand you recognize that it isn't
you, the issues and stuff likethat, and it's isn't you, um,

(32:25):
the the issues and stuff likethat, and it's.
You still think about it, butyou recognize that it isn't you
and so the fear.
I mean I haven't stopped makingfemale friends because of it,
but I I get the rejection partbecause it's hard and you want
to as women.
I think it's like what did I do?
What did I do?
What did I do?
But you have to recognize it'snot what you did and so I can't
think of any woman you walkingup to and whatever be like no, I

(32:49):
don't want to be your friend.
I'd be like, yeah, let's go getsome coffee or matcha.

Kena Siu (32:53):
Yeah, and you know it happened to me.

That there exists.

Kena Siu (32:57):
Yeah, yeah, one of my best friends, she broke up with
me like in the middle of I wasdivorcing and still grieving my
father and uh, yeah, and shedidn't even have you know the
overage to tell me on the face,like she literally wrote a

(33:17):
freaking long email and she waskind of like I know, no, like uh
, uh, I don't know anyway.
So it was like, in a few words,she, I mean, she said like uh,
yeah, that I was being verycondescending.
I can't remember, uh, but mypoint is, yeah, it's
heartbreaking because we werevery close, that we were see, I
mean, we were working togetherand we will see each other, like

(33:39):
, even though I was married atthe time, like two, three times
a week, we will have, you know,activities and it's still, and
things like that.
And then suddenly it's like youknow, and the thing is, I, what
I understood is like she brokeup with me because, like I was
going to a green process, I wasshifting my life so much.
That is just like I guess shecouldn't handle it, if I can put

(34:04):
it that way, because that's thething when we grow and evolve
and change so fast, and I don'tknow, I don't think it was envy
or anything, it was just that wedidn't align anymore.
But with what I was happeningand yeah, it hurt like shit,
like it was very bad.
And I remember once in in a callwith I was doing a another

(34:27):
taking a program at that timeand this lady at 70 she was like
no worries, I just broke upwith a friend like no time ago.
I was like okay, so this isgonna keep happening, right, and
that's the cool part is thatsome people goes, or we had them
or whatever.
Some other people are going tocome that are aligned with us.
Let's grieve, because we haveto grieve those relationships,

(34:52):
but at the same time just keepgoing and be open to receive
more.
Dana, what else do you want toshare?

It's almost essentially what you just
said.
Like the beautiful part aboutmidlife is that I give many less
F's about most things, and soit's given me what's left is
like crystal clarity around thethings that are important to me,
and and now that I have that, Ihave looked at some of the
friendships and just said, likethis is not a match, it's just
not.
You know, like my friend for wewere friends for 20 years but

(35:32):
like she has a problem thatshe's not addressing and so it's
hard for us to be togetherbecause it's just like I can't,
like I can't be around that.
So James, clear in Atomic Habits, he was asked what the most
important habit was and he saidit's the people you surround

(35:53):
yourself with.
And I mentioned that because inmidlife we are all expanding,
we are evolving and we aredropping the things that do not
matter.
And that's not to say that ourfriendships don't matter, but
what I'm saying is we get soclear on what does matter that
we're willing to let go of thethings that aren't a match.

(36:15):
And I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
That's how, like if you've everbeen broken up with, either by
a friend or by you know it'slike friendships are a little
different than dating, but notreally Like being broken up with
sucks.
And it's a gift to be able toevolve and expand out of a
relationship that's not alignedwith who you are becoming.

(36:35):
I love this idea of midlifebutterfly because you know a
monarch is not playing with theworms.

Kena Siu (36:44):
True, Definitely butterfly, because you know a
monarch is not playing with theworms Girl, definitely.

She's out there with other butterflies.
Yeah, she's not playing withcaterpillars anymore, she's
playing with butterflies.
And so my point is is that I'malways I'm not looking like who
do I need to break up with today, but it's like who am I
becoming and is thisrelationship still a match?
Because the last thing I'll sayis your girl only has so much
time, like we have big,beautiful lives, and so there

(37:09):
are only so many seats at thetable.
And so women I coach and womenI mentor.
I'm like why are you givingthis person a seat at your table
?
There are only so many seats.
You need to excuse them andmake room for who you want to
attract in your life, who'sgoing to mirror the energy that
you have.
And so, again, a call toelevate yourself, work on

(37:34):
yourself, pour into yourself,and then we start to attract the
women who, like we havetogether, we attracted each
other.

Kena Siu (37:41):
Yes, we did.

Because you're all amazing.
Okay, that's me, that's, that'sit Really quickly, if I can.

Tracy Hill (37:48):
Just it makes me think of this analogy.
It makes me think of theanalogy I don't know if you guys
have heard of this of a train.
Life is like a train and peopleare going to get on and hop off
as they need to, and to me Ilove that because there's not a
lot of efforting, there's not alot of figuring it out.
You just your train of life isgoing and then people are going

(38:09):
to hop on and when they hop off,you know that their time, you
know, was met, and now they'removing on and you can too.
So it's a different way ofthinking about what we just said
.
All the breakups we talkedabout, you know their purpose in
your life was, you know,finished and complete, and now
you're on to the next thing.

Kena Siu (38:29):
Yeah, thank you for mentioning that, and that's true
, because that's the thing.
Sometimes, yeah, they are longterm friendships, but that's
sometimes.
It could be a person that wejust meet for a few minutes and
it can change your life.
It doesn't have to be that longrelationship, because I mean.
Therefore, they say sometimesit's for seasons, for something

(38:49):
that we need to learn at thatvery moment.
So just cherish that moment andthe you know, the learning
lessons and whatever you getfrom there, and also they also
got something from us.
That's definitely right.
But I guess it's also about thatletting go of that codependency
with our relationships, because, as Dana was saying, that we go

(39:13):
and it's okay, the flow and allthat, and oh, I got lost in red
, look.
So my, my point is like goingback to choosing the kind of
relationship that we want atthis moment and letting go of
those ones that don't serve usanymore, because sometimes we
are fearful of saying, but howam I gonna make new friendships

(39:36):
right and more again if we comeinto midlife?
It's like I'm not gonna findmore friendships so and it's
like, no, I'm in this friendship, even though it's me and the
one chasing them, and so stopthat, we're not from that
anymore.
It has to be a reciprocal.
It needs to be nourishing bothsides.
It has to.

(39:57):
You know, it's a relationship,it's not a, you know, a one solo
person like just streaming fromthere.
So, yeah, Jen, what do you haveto share?

well, another analogy.
My husband said this to me whenI've had friends wake up with
me and sometimes he told me thatpeople are in your lives,
they're a chapter, they're notthe whole book Exactly, and that
really helped me kind of getperspective on it.
Like you're saying, you knowyou have something to learn from

(40:31):
people, even when there's abreakup, and they have something
to learn from you, and ithelped me just kind of be more
at peace with it that you knowit isn't necessarily me.
Maybe they were done with mychapter and I need to be done
with theirs.
That's the hardest thing toaccept.

(40:51):
But but, like Dana was saying,you get to, you get to choose
that.
And interestingly so the otherthing I was thinking about.
This kind of goes back tosomething Tracy was saying.
I don't have people come up tome who wanted to meet me and say
, hey, you know, it was reallyfunny, really funny.

(41:12):
The woman was.
It was a woman.
She was like hey, I really likeum, I love the way that you
dress.
So I just thought that weshould be friends and I admired
her guts so much to come up tosomeone that you don't know
these, you know, you've seenthem across the soccer field and
just to walk up to you and andfirst of all, it was very nice
to be flattered, but you knowthat that's one of the hardest

(41:34):
things is finding a way to breakthe ice with new people and,
yes, and you know, becomefriends like it's okay to just
call my people and talk to them.
That was revolutionary to me.

Kena Siu (41:46):
That's beautiful uh, yeah, so about breaking the ice,
because I know there's a lot ofwomen who who feel alone right
now.
So what would be some of yourtactics to breaking the ice?
Like this is like this iswonderful approach.
Do you have any ideas how youapproach?

uh, dana, it is so okay.
So this is goes back to I'm inmy midlife, so I don't care, I
really don't care, I just don't.
So I will go up to.
I'll just tell you what I did.
A couple weeks ago there was awoman who spoke at my meeting
and I went up to her and I waslike why have we never met and

(42:34):
why aren't we already bestfriends?
Can I please have your numberand invite you to coffee?
And she was like absolutely.
And so and then here's the,here's the kicker.
I called, I texted her and Isaid what you got for coffee,
and so we put, we got it on thebooks and so and I will do, I'll
out myself too.
It's like I am very selectiveabout who.

(42:55):
I continue to pursuerelationship.
I think I explained that, andso I have.
I've had a bunch of coffeedates and after the first one
I'm like, yeah, I'm good, You'reamazing, Like enjoy your life,
and then they can get a secondcoffee day, and then they can
get a second coffee day if itfeels like it's.
You know, there's momentum andthe key is keep going, Keep

(43:16):
inviting, Keep being awkwardLike I love that, Jen, the
girl's like you have greatclothes, let's be friends.
And then the next step is yes,here's my number.
When are you available in thenext two weeks to get coffee?
And if you're virtual, when areyou available in the next two
weeks to drink coffee on theZoom and make avatars and funny
faces?

Kena Siu (43:36):
I love that yes, yes, yes.

Yeah, and I do the same thing.
I walk up to women often andadmire what they're wearing.
But I'm also in a specialsituation where I get to hear a
lot of women speak and I willabsolutely go up to them and be
like, hey, I love what you saidabout XYZ or whatever and one of
my best running friends.

(44:01):
Actually, she had just got donedoing something.
This is over 10 years ago nowand we've traveled together,
we've run together, we've done alot together.
But I walked right up to herand said, hey, I heard that you
just finished this race.
I was like that's amazing, tellme about your experience.
And we've been, you know, best,best of running friends for the
past 12 years now.
Um, so, just, yeah, findsomething you like, walk up to

(44:23):
them and tell them, I mean thatthat's, that's what it is yeah,
I think it's also this approachof being open to it.

Kena Siu (44:30):
Like the other day I went to the ATM, which didn't
work, but it was good, becausethen I met this lady and this
young woman and then we justkeep walking to the other ATM
and then at the end we end upwatching the sun sunset and then
had dinner and a drink and wespent like three hours together
and it was just fantastic.
I don't know if we're gonnakeep in contact or not, but just

(44:52):
that connection for a few hoursit was so nourishing and so
great.
So, again, it's also a bitabout not attaching to it and
and, uh, yeah, grow therelationship.
If it feels like you know, ifthere's more in there I didn't
know just let it go and enjoythat present moment.
In that Casey, what do you wantto share?

I'm gonna say this.
I don't know why it's easierfor me.
I mean, I talk to a lot ofpeople every day in the
community and what I do, um, itfeels like it's less pressure.
I went out of town, I went on aski trip and I met this lady on
the slopes and I think we wereboth.
So when you're trying somethingnew, there's like you're in
this state of like you don'tknow what you're doing, you

(45:37):
don't care, like, I'm just hereto try and do it, and so you're
not worried about, like, whateverybody else is doing, you're
just like I'm here to do andhave fun.
And so I met this lady on theski slopes and she was there by
herself and we were taking alesson together and we got to
bond all morning.
And then she was like well,it's time for me to go.
You know.
She's like oh, you're going togo with your boyfriend and go

(45:58):
ski.
And I'm like no, come with us.
And this lady, she came and hadlunch with us and we skied in
the afternoon together.
And the one thing I didn't dois I didn't say when we left, my
boyfriend goes.
You took a picture with her,but you didn't get her phone
number and I said I know whatwas I thinking?
I said it was just so.
We had so much fun and so maybeit's just putting yourself out

(46:19):
there in a community that youlike and then you're surrounding
yourself with it, but justletting it happen.
I didn't go out that day sayingI'm going to meet a new friend
today, but I also wasn't againstit.
I was like I'm going to go skidown this mountain.

Tracy Hill (46:40):
So I think just being open to it is such a big
thing.
Yes, definitely, Tracy.
Yeah, so, um, a couple ofthings.
I say go on a retreat.
I think it's one of the bestways to connect with like-minded
, beautiful souls.
I went on a retreat last yearand these are like people that I
feel like are family at thispoint.
When you go through a sharedexperience like that, it's just

(47:02):
so easy to bond and get throughall the superficial crap and
just get straight to that bond.
I actually hosted my firstretreat in January and honestly,
I needed it.
You know it was a sisterhoodretreat and I felt again so
separate and realizing how muchI need female companionship.
So I hosted a retreat and, youknow, brought them in.

(47:26):
But I was thinking of twoexamples, just listening to you
guys talk about how you sawsomeone and you went up to them
like man, I need to grow a pair,because I'm thinking of two
instances where I think a lot oftimes it's being kind, just
simply being kind.
I think as women we don'talways I don't know if we again

(47:47):
the whole competitive thing.
I remember an instance a fewyears ago at my son's school.
There was we thought it was aschool shooting literally every
parent's worst nightmare.
I'm at home, my husband comesdown.
I was working out in our gymand my husband comes down and
says, Tracy, there's a lockdownat the high school.
And they think that there's,you know, been a school shooting
.
I just I started running and myhusband's like what are you

(48:10):
doing?
You can't go to the school.
I'm like, oh, watch me, grab mykeys.
I don't know what I was goingto do, but I was going to be
there.
I'm crying the whole way.
There are helicopters flyingover us, police, swat teams.
I am just and I get there.
And all these parents had thesame idea.
We and all these parents hadthe same idea.
We're all just going to this.
It was the worst nightmare youcan imagine.

(48:32):
It turned out to be it wasn't aschool shooting.
Someone thought they heardsomething and so luckily it
wasn't what we thought it was.
But the point is, all of theseparents were going through the
same thing and I'm sitting downon the lawn outside and this
woman we just kind of startedtalking and oh, she came up to
me and she simply handed me awater bottle.

(48:53):
And I was like what's happening?
And I realized she was justhanding me a water bottle.
I don't know why.
It was the kindest gesture at amoment where I was at my lowest
and felt just terrified to haveanother human being go out of
their way, who did not know me,knowing what she's going through
, and to also offer me.
It has stayed with me.

(49:14):
I didn't ask her to go tocoffee, I should have.
I let that go, but I will neverforget that moment.
And then one other story was Iwas at an Esther Hicks seminar.
I don't know if you guys areEsther Hicks, but I love her,
yes.
And there was this womansitting next to me and I just
fell in love with this woman.
She was gorgeous, she wasbeautiful, her energy was
amazing.

(49:35):
The whole three hours we satnext to each other and at the
end I wanted so badly to do whatyou guys did, just exchange
numbers, and I was like thatfear of rejection, of her saying
no, I didn't.
And again she stayed on my mind.
But so anyway, I just wanted toshare those stories.

Kena Siu (49:54):
Thank you.
Yeah, just the kindness ofpeople.
Thank you, kindness.

Jama, I'm going to say if the phone number feels
too intimidating, social media.
I've been thinking about thaton social media, which is kind
of what I, how I started andstuff like that.
So follow them on social mediaand get to know them and that
builds like that, like you, thenyou feel like you know them a
little bit more.
If so, if that phone number isa little too much like, hey, are

(50:24):
you on social media, I'd loveto follow you.
It's a little safer right yeahyeah so.
So when you said that, I waslike you know what, start, start
small, like you know and I wasthe biggest introvert ever and
it's to me I do things in likebaby steps and so start, start
small, and start by followingthem on social media and then
move up from there.
So that's just a tip and ideaof something I thought when you
said that.

Tracy Hill (50:45):
Thank you.

Kena Siu (50:47):
It's a great idea.
You have more ideas, Jen?

What do you want to say?
You guys are really inspiringme.
It's funny.
It's so funny.
I mean, things aren'tcoincidental, right?
They are not.
No, I was in a class yesterdaywith a woman who I've admired
for a really, really long time.
She's this very smart, funny,very popular writer.

(51:11):
She's written for the New YorkTimes and Writer's Digest.
And it's funny because we'vebeen Facebook friends, because
we know people in common forprobably three years and I've
never met her in person.
But yesterday she had a classin my area and I went to it, I
took it and afterward she shewas like well, first of all,

(51:36):
when I got there, she's likewait, you're Jen Chambers, I
think we're Facebook friends.
And so now I am really inspiredbecause of you guys to actually
follow up.
I'm gonna text her because shewanted me to text her afterwards
.
And I was like, well, shedoesn't really want that, but
she does and I'm willing to doit.
So, thank you, you guysinspired me.

Kena Siu (52:00):
Let's go for it.
They know.

Something that just the theme that I'm
picking up on here is that inorder to at least like, how do
we make friends yes, bumble,some friends of mine have had
success on that and we got toget out and put ourselves around
women.
And I was just thinking about,like, I go to two women's groups

(52:26):
a week and I went to a women'sleadership conference on Friday
and I'm in a podcast, mistressMind, and I am in Kathy Heller's
community, and so we putourselves around women and I
think that, both with COVID, butalso the patriarchy, let's be
real that's not a thing that isvalued or celebrated and we're

(52:49):
really stepping, probably, intoan area that feels uncomfortable
but is so worth it.
And it's been helpful, too, tohave my own business, cause like
part of the way that I createspace for gorgeous, magnetic,
powerful women as clients is Igo put myself around gorgeous,
magnetic, powerful women and I'mlike, really are you?

(53:13):
They're looking for a coach, Igot you, but so we can sense the
energy and you know, the morewe can put ourselves around
powerful, empowered, beautifulalso imperfect and not lying
about it Women, the more likelywe are to find the women who get
seats at the table and feelreally good about that yeah, and

(53:36):
that's the cool part that, asyou said, with you are in all
these circles and programs andstuff, and we are here now.

Kena Siu (53:43):
that that's how we can also make these kind of
friendships and you know that wethat align with us what we are
doing.
At the same time, because ofthis kind of this specific group
with, like, we keep growing, wekeep evolving, so it's part
also of our self-growth becausewe, with our stories, just by
sharing at this very moment,like we're still like learning

(54:06):
and getting new ideas andfeeling inspired.
So that's really the power ofsisterhood.
So, thank you, thank you somuch.
Let's go for the last questionof today.
Well, one before the last whatare some of the most powerful
lessons you've learned fromwomen in your life?

Tracy Hill (54:28):
you've learned from women in your life?

Wow, I'm not going to raise my hand, I'm
just going to go.
This has been so recently andit is the most powerful thing.
It's when women show up asexactly who they are.
We become lighthouses for everywoman within our orbit.

(54:56):
So I recorded a podcast thisweek.
I'm pretty sure I cried acouple times on the podcast and
I was like whatever it was.
And I have gotten more positivefeedback from that episode than
any of the ones that I plannedin advance and put lipstick on
for.
And it's like the most powerfulthing that I have learned from

(55:17):
another woman is it's okay toshow up as exactly who you are.
You don't need to be perfect.
You can give all that up.
That's a narrative of thepatriarchy and it's a lie.
All that up, that's a narrativeof the patriarchy and it's a
lie.
So let's set it aside and showup messy and show up crying and
show up powerful.
And show up is exactly the waywe are, because that creates

(55:39):
space for the next woman to dothe same right Like.
My favorite thing about thiswork is we're all doing podcasts
and nobody's trying to beperfect.
No, it's just the message that'sso empowering for me, yes, and
if we, if and that's the thingthat I'm taking is like I don't
have to do my life perfect, Idon't have to be the cupcake mom

(55:59):
, I don't have to be the fastestrunner, I don't have to have
the most popular podcast, like.
I just have to show up asexactly who I am, even if I
don't know most of the time, andlet that be okay.

Kena Siu (56:14):
Yeah, because it's okay.
It is okay, that's what we werejust saying before Like we came
a bit late today, everyone, youknow, had setbacks, whatever.
And then here we are.
It's just taking our space andthen having the vulnerability to
share that also and to say, youknow what, just allow me,
because I need a little bit morespace of time.

(56:34):
It's just so valuable.
And then at the end we're justhere and this sharing from the
heart and that was matter, it'sperfection.

it just goes to the trash Casey they kind of said

(57:02):
exactly what I was going to sayis when we show up as our
authentic self oh Casey, to doit perfect and when I let go of
those things that the peoplethat I have met and am closest
to is.
It's not really when I'mnormally dressed the best, it's
when I'm out doing something funand something silly and just
letting go and just being myself, um, that I connect with
somebody on a deeper level and II think that every single one

(57:27):
of us in here is a reminder ofjust showing up as them and who
they are that day.
And it may not be whether we'recrying, whether we're laughing,
just show up as you are thatday and that's one of the most
powerful things I think.

Kena Siu (57:41):
Yes, it is Tracy.

Tracy Hill (57:46):
Yeah, can we just all agree that being perfect is
the most boring, uninterestingthing ever?
Yes, I'm just Dana.
In case of what you guys bothsaid, I'm just realizing the
women that I follow online thatI really resonate.
I mean, kathy Heller is aperfect example.
When they show up exactly asthey are, it is the most

(58:08):
beautiful, empowering thing ever.
It's so much more interestingthan someone trying to be
perfect.
So, anyway, that was just asidebar, but I was going to say
I think I've learned from womenhow strong we are and how
resilient and how layered andhow beautiful the layers are.

(58:29):
You can have a woman who isincredibly powerful and then
she's in tears the next momentand then she gets right back up
and just listening to yourstories.
I've had the ability to listento all of your podcasts blown
away.
I mean, I've been spendingmonths with you guys and had no
idea about your stories, yourbackstories.

(58:49):
Months with you guys and had noidea about your stories, your
backstories.
Many of them would have brokenme over and over again and I
would have had no idea, becauseof the beautiful souls that you
are, what you've been through.
But that's what makes us, it'sthose battles that turn us into
the beautiful souls that we are.
But the last thing I would say,I think what I've learned the
most is from the youngergeneration.

(59:10):
So many times we're harder onthe younger generation, like, oh
my God, this younger generation.
I've always marveled, and maybebecause I have so many Hill my
four sons that I've learned toembrace it.
But when I was in corporateAmerica, everyone got upset with
the younger generation becausethey came in and they asked for
the promotion right away andthey weren't going to work their

(59:32):
lives away and they wanted togo on vacation all the time.
And who do they think?
And I thought good for them.
Good for them, we're upset withthem because they're doing what
we weren't brave enough to do.

They're all telling each other their salaries.

Tracy Hill (59:47):
As a hiring manager, there was a time where there
was a whole discussion about youguys should not be sharing what
you make.
And I was like, absolutely youshould not, of course.
And so I went to my team andwas like, guys, don't do it, do
not share, blah, blah, blah.
And someone in my group waslike that doesn't feel good.
And I was like wait what?
And they're like that doesn'tfeel good.
Why can't we share what we make?

(01:00:07):
And I just had to stop andthink about it, like, yeah, you
guys have a point.
Instead of me staying on my no,you're not supposed to.
I had to ask why, yeah, whycan't you?
And so I agree with that and,not wanting to slave their lives
away, and they want to get inand be the CEO right away.
Good for them.
It doesn't mean that they'regoing to be, but why not want

(01:00:32):
that?
But the thing is watching theyounger generation of women
celebrate themselves, lizzosaying I am beautiful, exactly
how I am, and with all thehaters saying she needs to go
sit down.
She's not shaped like hertraditional model and she's like
it drives her even further.
Watching women say I'mbeautiful, I'm good at this, I'm

(01:00:54):
like I could have never.
I always had to downplay anddim that light to be liked, or
so I thought.
But to see these women, I justthink it's powerful and it's
beautiful, and I've never lookedat anyone celebrating
themselves and thought less ofthem, and it endears me to them
even more, so that I think isthe biggest lesson.
I've never looked at anyonecelebrating themselves and
thought less of them, and itendears me to them even more, so
that I think is the biggestlesson I've learned from the
younger generation.

Kena Siu (01:01:17):
Beautiful, and thank you for bringing that out.
Yeah, that's true.
We didn't dare at that pointbecause it was different.
I mean, things keep shifting,so hell yeah, oh beautiful.

Jama Pantel (01:01:35):
Jama.
Yeah, Tracy totally stole mythunder on that one.
I was gonna say the howresilient women are, um, you
know, everybody has a story I've, you know, I learned this
lesson at a really young age andI'm glad I did um but how
resilient and powerful they areand how they continue to show up
with grace, and so that's thething.
I have seen people who have hadbad things happen to it and it
eats them up and they turn into,you know, awful individuals

(01:01:58):
because they aren't able toprocess it, but the majority of
the people, of the women,continue to show up with grace
and that, to me, is one of themost inspiring things.
Like you can be bitter, you canbe angry or you can continue to
show up with grace, and that,to me, is one of the most
inspiring things.
Like you can be bitter, you canbe angry or you can continue to
show up with grace, and theresilience and showing up with
grace is one of the the biggestlessons that I've learned um and

(01:02:20):
how to do it thank you.

Kena Siu (01:02:23):
Thank you, yes, Jen.

Jen Chambers (01:02:28):
Jen, I'm on to what Tracy said also.
I think the biggest lesson I'velearned from the women in my
life and the women that I admireis that they own it.
You know, women that own theirpower, women that believe their
own press, you know, I thinkthat's the most incredibly

(01:02:51):
inspiring thing and I aspire tothat very much so.
But seeing women be themselvesand not apologetic, just yep,
this is who I am and this iswhat we're doing, and I just
I've learned so much from that.
I feel like I absorb a littlebit more of that when I see

(01:03:14):
another woman do that.
If that makes sense, I justwant, I want that so much for
everyone.
But so I find so much strengthin seeing other people own their
own power and be themselves,and the women who do that are
just so incredibly inspiring yes, they are, and you are all

(01:03:40):
inspiring and, yeah, showing isthere.

Kena Siu (01:03:44):
Like I run out of words.
I'm just so, so grateful thatyou ladies are here with me at
this very moment and sharingthis beautiful episode with me
and your experiences and the wayyou see life and the way you
experience life and, as somebodyalready said, our podcasts, our

(01:04:08):
stories, are so freaking,powerful and so beautiful and,
despite whatever pain or thingswe have been going through, we
have that resilience and thatconviction and devotion to keep
going, to build our dreams, tohave better lives, to feel good

(01:04:32):
and and, yeah, I'm just supergrateful for you to be part of
my life.
And I want to close with alittle question that I ask all
of my guests, which is what'sthe pleasure that you enjoy the
most?
Whoever wants to go first, justgo.

Okay, my greatest pleasure in life, and something
I've been doing for a long time,is running.
Like I am a better, happierperson after a run, after I'm
able to get in my run.
I actually structured mybusiness around being able to
run and all the things like thatwas a huge goal when I started
years ago.
I didn't want to be the busiestphotographer out there.

(01:05:24):
I wanted to be able to do whatI loved first, and I love
photography.
I'm not saying that I don'tlove photography.
I wanted it on my terms and Iwanted to be able to do what I
loved first, and I lovephotography.
I'm not saying that I don'tlove photography.
I wanted it on my terms and Iwanted to be able to run and get
my workouts in.
That is what like drives me isto be able to get that in
Movement I feel like is ablessing in my life.
Thank you, jayla.

Dana Hunter Fradella (01:05:46):
Massage hands down massage.

Kena Siu (01:05:49):
Massage okay, it's.

Dana Hunter Fradella (01:05:50):
So enjoyable.
I do not even see it as a um asplurge.
I see it as a gift to my souland my body and my mind.
And a 90 minute massage willchange the next two weeks, so I
try to get them biweekly Nice.

Kena Siu (01:06:07):
Yes, yeah, nice yes.

For me it's kind of a daily thing.
I like to play music, so I playthe Uplayly.
I was actually trained to singprofessional opera, but I don't
do that anymore.
But so I play music and if Ican play music every day I feel
whole.
So that's a kind of a I just doit for myself.

(01:06:34):
But that's the one thing that Itried to make a list one time
of all the things I need to feelwhole and it was exercise and
playing music were the top ofthe list.
So for me those are my, mypleasures.

Tracy Hill (01:06:49):
This is gonna sound like a shameful plug and I
apologize, but the reason why mybusiness is called A Beautiful
Fix is because I asked myselfthat exact question what is it
that lights me up?
And it's everything that youguys answered.
It's beautiful things andmoments and experiences, like
this panel right here.
But it's the massages, it'smusic.

(01:07:10):
I mean music can take me to awhole nother plane instantly.
It's nature, it's going onwalks.
So I know it's a little bit ofcheating saying all the things,
but it's laughter.
It's just beautiful moments,beautiful things, things that
just elevate you, your state,instantly instantly.

Casey Taton (01:07:29):
Yeah, I agree with you, Tracy.
I don't know that.
I can just say one thing, Ithink it's just.
I mean, I love the lake.
It lights me up.
I love working out, but I alsolove deep connection and just
being present and living,finding those what lights other

(01:07:52):
people up, lights me up.

When I see them, it just lights my soul on fire
and I get so excited.

Tracy Hill (01:07:54):
Yeah, can I just say really quickly I'm sorry, I
didn't mean to interrupt.
Casey, that is so true aboutyou.
You are like a professionalcheerleader.
You get so excited andcelebrate people when we are in
meetings, you are in the chat,just you're great, you're all I

(01:08:17):
mean.
You're just naturally one ofthe most beautiful.
I would keep saying this wordbeautiful souls but really I
just wanted to say that when yousaid that.
That is so true, that is sotrue.

Yeah, and.

I don't think that absolutely.

Kena Siu (01:08:28):
Yeah, and I think the more present we get to be, the
more we actually get to enjoywhatever we are doing, and it
can be a pleasure every time.
Right, as you say, Casey, thatjust this connection, this, this
panel of you know, greatconversation, such a fucking

(01:08:50):
pleasure.
Yeah, I mean, we can havepleasure of almost everything if
we should.
We should see it that way.
So, yeah, and closing with thatpleasure of this conversation,
of this panel, uh pod, thank youso much for your presence,

(01:09:11):
thank you so much for being inmy life, thank you so much for
your energy, your love, yourradiance and, yes, thank you for
being in Midlife Butterfly.
Thank you for tuning intoMidlife Butterfly.
If this episode lead a spark inyou, hit that subscribe or

(01:09:32):
follow button on Apple Podcasts,spotify or wherever you love to
listen so you'll never miss themagic.
If you're feeling generous,drop a review on Apple Podcasts.
It helps this empoweringcontent reach more souls ready
to transform their lives.
And don't forget to take aphoto of you while listening and
share it on your socials.
You can tag me at Ken as you,so I can celebrate you and your

(01:09:54):
expansion.
Until next time, keep spreadingthose wings and living in joy,
growth and pleasure.

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#14 - Sisterhood in Midlife: The Power of Female Connection

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}#14 - Sisterhood in Midlife: The Power of Female Connection