#15 - How Lack of Self-Worth Silently Shapes Your Life (And How to Take Your Power Back)

In this empowering solo episode of Midlife Butterfly, Kena dives into the sneaky ways a lack of self-worth might be running your life without you even noticing. From people-pleasing to shrinking yourself in rooms, this is a loving wake-up call to midlife women who are ready to reclaim their joy, rewrite old programs, and live unapologetically aligned. Kena shares 3 practical mindset shifts you can start using right now to begin healing the unworthiness wound and coming back home to your truth.

Whether you're navigating divorce, life transitions, or simply awakening to your deeper self, this episode is for you.

🦋 What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

• What self-worth really is (spoiler alert: it's not self-esteem)
• Subtle signs you may be operating from low self-worth
• How your childhood, culture, and conditioning shaped your “good girl” programming
• Why your people-pleasing, perfectionism, and over-apologizing are survival responses—not your truth
• Three simple but powerful shifts to start reclaiming your self-worth today:
• A reminder that you are already worthy, simply because you exist
• An invitation to go deeper with Kena’s self-paced mini-coaching session: How to Stop Feeling Not Good Enough and Reclaim Your Worth.

🔮 Reflection Questions:

• Where in your life are you still seeking external validation to feel worthy?
• What’s one small boundary you can set today that honors your truth?
• If you fully believed you were worthy—right now—what would you say yes or no to?

I created a mini-coaching session called "How to Stop Feeling Not Good Enough and Reclaim your Worth." It's a bite-sized coaching experience you can complete in about 45 minutes at your own pace to help break free from this cycle and embody your worthiness. Check it out here!

CLARITY: For the woman who feels lost and is ready to come HOME to herself.

Join me from July 22-24, 3 pm ET.

Sign Up Now: https://midlifebutterfly.ca/clarity

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Request a Free Empowered Call with Kena if you're interested in working with her: https://midlifebutterfly.ca/empoweredsession

Song: Reborn by Alexander Nakarada

Episode Transcript

Kena Siu (00:01):
Hello, beautiful soul, welcome back to Midlife
Butterfly Podcast, where youbreak free from all stories and
step into your fullest, mostradiant self.
Today we're talking aboutsomething that might be running
the show in your life withoutyou even realizing it your

(00:23):
self-worth.
You even realize in it yourself-worth.
You might think self-worth isjust about confidence of
self-esteem, but let me tell you, my dear, it's much more deeper
than that.
It shows up in the way you letpeople treat you, the way you

(00:44):
talk to yourself, the way youhold back from the life you
truly want.
And today I'm going to show youexactly how your lack of
self-worth, is sneaking intoyour life and how to start
shifting it, starting now.
So how to know if this is you?

(01:07):
Let's get real here.
Have you ever caught up yourselfdoing any of this?
You say yes when you reallywant to say no.
You over-explain yourself evenwhen no one asks.
You struggle to take up spacein a room, within a conversation

(01:31):
or with your relationships.
You tend to apologize forthings that don't even belong to
you.
You attract relationships whereyou feel unseen and
unappreciated.
You work so hard to be likedand accepted, but deep down, you

(01:53):
feel exhausted.
If you're nodding your head.
Now believe me that you are notalone.
A lot of us struggle withself-worth, and I really know
what it's like to feel that youhave to earn your place Like

(02:17):
your worth depends on whatothers do right, no, sorry and
what you do for others.
And that's not the case,because this is the truth.
Your worth is not up for debate.
It has never been up for debate.

(02:41):
So where did this start?
Let's go deep in this, becausethrough these many things, I
mean everything.
But I say it's a program, it'sa pattern, it's a condition that
we follow.
So maybe, just maybe, you grewup feeling like love had to be

(03:04):
earned through achievements,through being the good girl,
through always making othershappy.
Or maybe you had a parent or ateacher who made you feel that
you were too much or not enoughRight, either if it's very
subtle with their words orsometimes it's harsh Right.

(03:30):
Or maybe society, culture,religion told you that putting
yourself first was selfish andyou believed it.
This is a program, and thishappens more often with women.
And here is the shift theversion of you that's always

(03:54):
proving pleasing and perfecting,that's not the real you.
That's not.
That's just a version of youthat learned how to survive, and
now it's time to drive rightthere.

(04:15):
Yes.
So how do we start rewritingthis story?
It's simpler than you think,but it takes intention, really.
And here I'm going to show youthree powerful shifts which you

(04:38):
can start applying right away tostart reprogramming, rewiring
your brain from that lack ofself-worth.
The first one is shift yourself-talk.
Every time you cast yourself,you catch yourself saying I'm

(05:00):
not good enough, I'm too much, Ican't do this.
Stop, pause.
I can't do this.
Stop Pause.
And replace it with one ofthese sentences or affirmations,
whatever you want to call it.
I am learning to see my worthin a new way.

(05:26):
I understand that I am worthysimply because I exist.
I no longer need permission totake up space.
These are just three options,but you can create an

(05:50):
affirmation or a sentence thatreally resonates with you and
your inner vocabulary and, ofcourse, with positive words.
This is the time we stoptrashing ourselves, so be very
aware of that self-talk.
Another shift that you can do isset micro-boundaries, and let's
start that today.
Okay, I'm going to challengeyou today to say no to something

(06:12):
small that doesn't serve youanymore.
Okay, maybe it's declining arequest to something you're
doing Maybe it's speaking up atthe meeting that you are
attending, or even just pausingbefore over explaining yourself,
or pausing before you want tosay yes when you really want to

(06:38):
say no.
Be very aware and every time,just honor your boundaries.
Every time you do it, tellyourself I am worthy, yes,
because you are worthy.
At the beginning it might feela bit of ah, like contraction

(07:01):
inside the body, but it's justabout keep practicing.
So your body, your nervoussystem, just about keep
practicing.
So your body, your nervoussystem, get familiar with this
new you that is emerging, thenew you that is good at setting
boundaries because you knowyou're worthy.
Okay.

(07:22):
And the third thing that you cando is to ask game-changing
questions.
And here is one If I trulybelieve I was worthy, what will
I do differently today?
Here goes again If I trulybelieved I was worthy, what

(07:48):
would I do differently today?
Would you speak differently toyourself and to others?
Would you take a risk to dosomething adventurous and new?
Would you finally invest inyourself time or money and more

(08:09):
energy?
So I hope these three differentideas would help you start
shifting, rewiring thatprogramming of lack of
self-worth, because thatunworthiness doesn't belong to

(08:29):
you again.
You are worthy just by existing, by being here right now.
Right now.
And if this episode spoke to youand if you want to go a little
bit deeper, I created a minicoaching session called how to

(08:50):
Stop Feeling Not Good Enough andReclaim your Worth.
And it's a mini coaching, likea bite size of a coaching.
It takes around 40, 45 minutesfor you to do it at your own
pace.
To go deeper without me beinglive with you because it's a low

(09:13):
cost investment.
Be in life with you becauseit's a low cost investment.
And from here you can reallybreak free from this cycle and
start embodying more and morethat worthiness.
Because just with these littletips that I gave you before, if
you start putting them intopractice, I'm sure you're going

(09:36):
to want more.
So I'm going to share the linkin the show notes and I love you
to join that mini coachingsession.
I'm very grateful you are here.
I appreciate your time, and notfor me but for you, because for

(10:01):
you taking the time to listen tothis kind of podcast of
empowerment and spirituality andby nourishing your soul over
and over again, you're investingin yourself to feel better, to
live better and for your growthand evolution and to come back

(10:21):
to your truth, to here home, toyour heart, to your soul.
Until next time, I send youlots of love as usual and let's
stay connected and remember thatyour worth was never in

(10:50):
question.
Hit the follow button on ApplePodcasts, Spotify or wherever
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If you're feeling generous,drop a review on Apple Podcasts.
It helps this empoweringcontent reach more souls ready
to transform their lives.
And don't forget to take aphoto of you while listening and
share it on your socials.
You can tag me at KenAsYou so Ican celebrate you and your

(11:12):
expansion.
Until next time, keep spreadingthose wings and living in joy,
growth and pleasure.