#20 - From Force to Flow: Feminine Energy, Inner Child Healing & Manifestation with Raivon LeToyia - Midlife Butterfly: Self-Discovery, Women Empowerment & Life Transitions

Episode Transcript
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Kena Siu (00:01):
What if midlife isn't a crisis?
but an invitation to reclaimyour feminine power, heal that
little girl within and manifesta life that feels like youth.
In this episode, we are divingdeep into the art of shifting
from force to flow, repartingour inner child and unlocking

(00:23):
the emotional magic behind truemanifesting.
So get cozy, gorgeous, becausewe're going in Midlife butterfly
.
A woman in the sacred, inbetween.
She's not who she once was andnot quite who she's becoming.
Yet she's unraveling, awakening, remembering.

(00:44):
She's navigating lifetransitions, divorce loss,
reinvasion moves, with a burningdesire for freedom, joy and
solid living.
She feels the pull to rise, tofly.
She's no longer afraid of herown wings.
So welcome back to the MidlifeButterfly Podcast.

(01:06):
We have a very special guesttoday, raven LaToya, and she's a
manifesting guide, energeticlifestyle creator, intuitive
body worker and host of theEnergetic Glow Up Podcast, and
I'm going to let her share a bitmore about her story.
And, as you might alreadyguessed, as the introduction of

(01:32):
the question of this podcast, weare talking today about
reclaiming feminine energy,reparenting and healing the
inner child and manifesting asan emotional process.
So stay tuned because this isgonna get very juicy and later

(01:52):
raven.
I send it to pass it to you now, so if you would like to share
your story before we dive in inthese super juicy topics, okay,
first of all, thanks for havingme on.

Raivon LeToiya (02:05):
I am honored to be here and to actually have
like a conversation with someoneand an audience that I feel
will understand where I'm comingfrom.
So I am a mid life gettingthere, um, woman who I was
married for or in a relationshipfor 16 years.

(02:26):
I was married for 13 of thoseyears and I was a stay-at-home
mom for 10 years.
I had a pretty content lifeuntil one day.
I like, how you say, midlife isa calling.
I feel like I had a midlifeawakening, for sure, and I just
like woke up to the fact that,while I was content that there

(02:49):
was more, I realized that I wasmore than just the mom.
I'm a woman.
I um, and I have a purpose, andI just began to to get signs
and lean into that um, to thecalling of wanting to, like give

(03:12):
my inner child what she didn'thave growing up, but also to
embrace the side of myself as afeminine that I had suppressed
for so long, coming from a veryreligious background.
And so, yeah, I ended upstarting the podcast and using
my voice and being seen whichhas always been terrifying for

(03:37):
me as a people pleaser and justsomeone who always put others
before myself.

Kena Siu (03:45):
Oh, wow, now I understand what we connected
through history.
Okay, I can relate to all ofthose things.
Yes, like each of them.
Wow, oh, my goodness, wow, yeah, yes, okay, so I well, I was
also married for 10 years and Iwent through kind of like what

(04:07):
you just mentioned.
You know, healing the, theinner child, was one of the main
things.
So understanding our woundsthat's how we can start really
the healing process.
And understanding our behaviorsand our you know patterns,
right, and everything else.
And also from there I also diedinto the feminine energy,

(04:31):
because I didn't realize howmuch disconnected I was from my
feminine, that I was on thedoing all the time, and how that
also affected my relationship,not only with everyone else and
my partner, but with myself.
It's just insane.

Exactly.
Wow, it really is.

Kena Siu (04:52):
It really is.

It was so much healing that needed to be done
and I feel like 2023, plutomoved into Aquarius for a bit
and I'm not really intoastrology, but I know there was
a big shift in March of thatyear and, um, it was just like
all of it the femininity, theinner child healing.
It was really releasing myinner child to be who she was

(05:17):
always meant to be andreparenting her, um to be her
most authentic self, so that Icould radiate pure energy to the
universe and that way I canmanifest what was best for me
instead of manifesting what wasbest for everyone else.
Being a people pleaser, I wasjust sending out mixed energy

(05:39):
from all of these differentsources because I was trying to
be what I thought they needed meto be.
So I never really was sendingout my own energy to get back
what was would truly feed mysoul.
And, yeah, doing that was hugebecause I was a people pleaser,

(06:00):
a peacekeeper, codependency,anxiously attached, like all of
those things.
That was my identity, and so theonly way that I could really
truly choose myself was toenvision myself as a child,
because I feel like we all havea special place for children,
right, and I could never neglecta child.
I can neglect myself as anadult.

(06:22):
But when I saw little Ravon inmy mind's eye and I would have a
choice between staying married,which meant my partner wasn't
getting what I think he deserved, I was not fully living as my
truest self.
And I would look at him in mymind's eye and then myself, my

(06:44):
little Ravon.
And how could I look at her andchoose someone else?
Like she kept me on the pathtowards healing because
otherwise I don't feel I wouldhave had the courage to do it.

Kena Siu (06:58):
Yeah, oh wow.
You talk about reparenting.
What do you mean with that?

So reparenting?
What do you mean with that soreparenting?
So I think, as children, wehave the parents that we have,
or that we choose, however youwant to look at it, and there
are things that we don't receivefrom the adults in our lives

(07:29):
well-meaning adults, you know,adults who love us deeply but
they don't give us what we needto grow into our most authentic
selves or to remain our mostauthentic selves.
I think we all come in to thisuniverse um whole and we um are
slowly stripped away of ourwholeness or energetic baggage
is added onto us, and so we'reweighed down by this heavy

(07:51):
energy, just so that we can feellove and seen and wanted and
that was my wounding was around,I had all the financial support
, but emotionally I wasn't giventhe emotional support and I
wasn't seen and I never feltsafe enough to use my voice
authentically.

(08:12):
I learned early on that I couldsay certain things that would,
that would allow me to beaccepted.
So I would.
And so reparenting myself wasgiving little me the space to be
heard, to know that she, evenif she didn't do a thing, that

(08:34):
she was still loved, that shecould just really trust, that
she would always be okay andwanted and, um, it really it was
acceptance.
I had this rejection or fear ofabandonment, and so I always
showed up for her and I still doto let her know that I'm here.

(08:55):
Also, the universe source ishere with me, like I'm not alone
in this, in this world.
It's a co-creation and lettinggo of control, which is the
feminine energy.
Healing is that I am co-creatingand that helped me to lean and
surrender into the feminineaspects of me as well, because

(09:20):
as a child I was the oldest offour I performed as a caregiver
and so I did all things to helpraise my siblings, and so that
was more of a masculine flow andI was in that flow in my
marriage and I enjoyed it,because that's all I knew until,
like that, 2023.
I was like I want to be held,like I want to be able to.

(09:44):
Like you know, people gocamping and they say, okay, you
keep watch and I'll sleep, andthen the other part, they take
turns, and so, even though I hada very supportive partner
financially, I never felt like Icould actually go to sleep and
know that everything is going tobe just okay, okay, just, I

(10:04):
just need like five minutes tocompletely fall apart if I need
to, but I know that it's goingto be okay.
And so I got to the point wherethat's I was craving that
surrender.
I didn't want to be in controlanymore, yeah, and so now the
universe is like my partner,he's my, he's my masculine, so
that I can remain in my feminine.
So I have this likerelationship with the universe
where I know I'm taken care ofand we're co-creating something

(10:27):
beautiful.

Kena Siu (10:29):
Oh my God, I love that .
Okay, hold on because I haveother questions.
Let's just see here.
Okay, I love what you said,that, as you said, we came here
as whole, and that's the thing Imean I've been part of.
Our human experience here isactually then getting those,

(10:50):
getting back to that wholenessthat we are once we come back,
and that's why it's part of ourjob to actually heal that inner
child and reparenting.
I love how you express what youdid and how it is it and how
important it is to see ourselvesagain as that little child

(11:11):
because, yes, as you said, asadults we understand it now, but
if we don't go back to thatlittle kid and talk, to Talk to
her, to him again and explainwhat happened, right, right, yes
, as an adult we say weunderstand it, but now our
bodies don't.

Yes, I know, because we've been living from
that space for so long.
They're trauma driven behaviors.
So why am I this way?
That's not me.
That's a behavior that I tookon to feel safe and seen and to
do what I needed to do at thetime.
But I don't have to do thatanymore and it's crazy huge.
It's so big and I'm veryintentional with my own children

(11:55):
, with teaching them or justhelping them to remember who
they are and not strip that awayfrom them so that they don't
have to do the unlearning lateron in life like I'm having to do
.

Kena Siu (12:10):
Yeah, I love that and one of the things that I have
experienced in the past fewyears is that acceptance that
you said how important it is,and one of the things that I
came to understand most was likeI thought I accepted myself but
then I noticed I was acceptingonly my light.
But when I start digging intothe shadow, that's when it gets

(12:35):
very interesting, because we aretaught not to look to that, I
know right.

It's like what are you?

Kena Siu (12:41):
gonna know if people already rejected.
Of course, as as a default, I'mgonna reject those things of
myself, so why do I have to gothere?
But until we don't dig in onthose and then, accept it as
well and say yeah, I am all thisyes, how beautiful, it is right

(13:03):
this and be okay with itexactly, embrace it, welcome.
It is what it makes the wholedifference, or yes?

it really feeling that wholeness for sure,
and I think, because I do comefrom a religious background, I
realized that.
So I call it Eden energy, likethe garden of Eden.
Before the thing happened, weate from the tree, or whatever,
so the tree that I see thatfruit as being judgment fruit.
We ate fruit that startedhaving us label things as good

(13:35):
and bad when really I thinkeverything's pretty neutral.
We give meaning to all thingsin our life.
Some people love rain and somepeople hate rain.
It's the same rain, and so thefirst thing they did when they
ate from the tree was judgethemselves.
They said we're naked, and itwas like their vulnerability was
judged immediately, and I thinkthe judgment that we're

(13:57):
supposedly being saved from, asfar as Christianity goes, is
judgment of ourselves.
Because we have this deep woundof just, we judge ourselves but
then we judge others.
Because we have this deep woundof just, we judge ourselves but
then we judge others because wejudge ourselves.
It's kind of like a this cyclecycle yes, and so when we return
to before we ate and we don'thave to keep eating the fruit,

(14:17):
you know we can stop and justdrop all judgment and life just
is.
And so the shadow part of methat I always, always tried to
suppress, like even withintimacy in my marriage, I, you
know, we're taught don't do it,it's bad.
You know all of our life.
And then you're married andyou're supposed to just do it
all the time, you know.
So it's a real, this wholefeminine sensuality part that I

(14:41):
had to heal.
But I would see that as beingbad.
Or if I'm upset, like anger isokay and and honestly, our
shadows can heal us, it's almostas if they come in.
So, for example, I got reallyangry after my divorce and I
yelled and said bad words anddid all the things not bad words

(15:05):
, but my kids don't say badwords.
And I felt it was like anout-of-body experience, but it
was the most healing thing I hadever done.
I spoke up for myself and forme that crazy angry conversation
.
It woke something up in myselfthat I had been suppressing my

(15:27):
whole life.
So I feel like the shadow isgoing to be different for
everyone and alignment ispersonal.
So that was aligning for methat ability to speak my truth
in that way, even if I usedwording that I wouldn't
typically use, even if I wouldhave labeled it as bad
previously, it was exactly whatI needed.

(15:49):
So that shadow side of myselfhealed me.
It was like it was alchemized,I guess, into the whole of who I
am.
And so, yeah, shadow for sure,embrace it all, don't label
things, they just are.
And I feel like when you're inalignment and you're connected

(16:10):
with your, with yourself, yourhigher self, your inner child,
that it all serves a greaterpurpose.

Kena Siu (16:17):
Yes, yeah, wow, yeah.
You're so right with that thatwe give meaning to everything.
Yes, and that's the thing whenwe get to understand.
Everything is neutral.
As you said, people like rain,other people don't like rain,
and what it could be good for mecould be bad for you exactly,

(16:38):
exactly.

We don't need external rules anymore, um to to
tell us how to live.
We have, like, our inner voice,our inner being, or some call
it the holy spirit.
Like we, we were given the holyspirit back to the religious
part, but I'm not religious, butwe were given that holy spirit
to be our inner guide.
We don't need the, thecommandments and the external

(16:59):
rules because we have this deepconnection, like we did in eden
when source was with us in thegarden.
When Jesus came back, we gotthat connection to source too.
We don't need a middleman, wedon't need external rules.
We're all going to be guided umto exactly where we need to be,
yeah, and when we do that, itaffects everyone around us

(17:23):
positively too.
I feel like my divorce.
Even though my partner did notwant the divorce, I know that we

(17:43):
both had an opportunity to risetowards our higher selves if we
had just said yes to it, if hehad said yes the way I did, but
that's a part of his journey.

Kena Siu (17:47):
Not good, not bad, it's just how it is.
Yeah, exactly yeah, I can.
Yeah, yeah, even though I'mlucky, whatever, if I can say it
that way.
Like, yeah, like my divorce itwas, when we talk about it, we
were on the same page.
Yeah, you know, at the sametime, it doesn't mean it was not
less painful, right, yes, but,as you said, it came like such a

(18:10):
liberation at the end and wegrow in so different ways, right
, and it's so fascinating to seeit.
Like yeah, I mean, yeah, it washard, but it was worthy for
both of us.
Yes, like, yeah, I mean, yeah,it was hard, but it was worthy
for both of us, because I meanthe time we were meant to be
together for our soul, for thissoul, you know, I mean how do

(18:36):
you call it?
Yeah, for all of us souls togrow together until a certain
period of time.
Then that time it came out,certain period of time, then
that time it came out, and then,but now we still, you know,
still in touch, and I can seehow he's growing and how I am
also evolving and and it'sbeautiful to have to observe.
And it's as I said, it's eachperson's journey.
Probably we took it differentlyat the beginning that you know

(19:00):
the grieving process and andstuff, but again it's at the end
, it's each of our own journeysand it's about really like
honoring and and taking thatresilience and courage to really
say, yeah, I'm going for itbecause this is my life and I
deserve something good or betterand I and I want to create it

(19:24):
and and I have the power, andthat's why, eventually, we're
going to be talking aboutmanifestation.

Yes, yes, exactly, yes, exactly All of
that yes.

Kena Siu (19:33):
Yeah, okay, I love what you said about now that you
said that you connected back toyour feminine energy, and I
want to talk more about thatbecause I'm glad I also did
energy, and I want to talk moreabout that because I'm glad I
also did so.
I guess this is going to besomething very interesting for
midlife butterfly listeners,because, I mean, we are so

(19:53):
disconnected of that.
So let's talk about that.
And then I also love how yousaid that the universe is your
masculine.
I'm going to take that one now.

Yes, oh, oh my gosh, he's like the best partner
ever.
I tell my now fiance that I amin a polyamorous relationship
and like the universe is likethe hierarchy.
Yes, so we're all in openrelationships and you know it's
going great.
Yes, so what was the firstthing?

(20:23):
That?
The feminine energy.
So, yes, that piece, oh my gosh, so right.
Being raised in a southernchurch in america, um, I went to
church every single sunday,like all week.
The church was started in myhome.
My dad was a deacon, my mom wasa church secretary and I just
like anything that has to dowith sensuality, femininity, it

(20:47):
was just so controlled.
You know, I was told if you dothis you're bad, god loves you,
but you'll go to hell and you'llburn.
It was just so confusing.
Oh, yeah, I understand, it'slike, okay, like I'm terrified
now, and so that's why I do sayuniverse sourcears instead of
God, sometimes because I had toreframe that relationship.
But, yes, my femininity, like Ihave always been terrified of

(21:13):
my body, I've hated my body,I've tried to change it my whole
life.
I honestly didn't wear abathing suit until last year.
So there is, I know it's insane, insane.
And so even in my relationship,though, like sexuality, like to
initiate, was not going tohappen because it's bad.
And if I want something that'sbad, then what does that say

(21:35):
about me?
And just like, I don't know,just feeling like a woman
feeling free.
There's so much shame and guiltplaced on that because they want
to control it and anything thatis controlled, I think society
wants us to feel a certain wayabout it because there's a
subconscious knowing thatthere's power behind that right.

(21:56):
There's power behind ourfeminine energies, is who we are
, and when you try to suppress apart of yourself that is that
much of who you are, you willnever live in alignment.
You're always going to live alife that is them down.
And, um, I could not.
I was typecasted in my marriageand as much as I tried, I could

(22:19):
not break free from that shy,guilt-ridden shame.
Like a woman who was ashamed.
I was in that relationship frommy early twenties until my late
thirties and so that was who Iwas.
However, my divorce allowed meto embrace this completely, I

(22:45):
guess, healed version of myself,without the shame and without
the guilt around my femininity,and also just being able to
attract someone who allows me tolean into that femininity and
not feel like I need to be incontrol all the time that's been

(23:09):
.
I think one of the biggestthings is just not being tight
past it and, as crazy as itsounds, that's how I feel.
I was in my marriage.
I was the good girl who did thegood things, you know, and so I
needed to be free from that, somy divorce was healing yeah,

(23:29):
well, yeah, for me I was amother, you know, okay, yeah,
yeah, yeah, taking care then.

Kena Siu (23:36):
Oh, you're spending so much in here.
Oh, take care with your vices,like you're going over too much
drinking and yeah, all thosethings and it's just so tiring
because, as you said, then weneed to be in that control that
I guess I think I don't know youbut me.
I got fed up of it.
I'm like, I'm tired, like Iwant to really surrender.

(23:58):
I cannot do this anymore.

Yes, yes, and so I was the, I was the mom, but
also I was in control of all thethings.
So one day I was like I don'twant to do the budget anymore.
You make money, so you do thebudget.
It was like just little thingslike that.
I did get fed up.
I just don't want to do itanymore, I can't.
And even emotional uh, supportor boundaries.
I felt like everything waspoured on me.

(24:22):
Everyone's issues, my partner'sissues, were poured onto me for
me to take, but also I'm tryingto swim and keep myself afloat,
but there was no one for me tokind of like lean on so that I
can take a break from treadingwater, and so it was a very like
just full control mode in everysingle way, mm-hmm.

Kena Siu (24:45):
And I just couldn't do it anymore.
Yeah, one of the things that um,yeah, it happened, it was the
fact that I started kind of likemy spiritual journey, uh, a few
years before we separated, andthe fact that, I mean, he was
listening.
He was a good listener, hewould listen to me, but then I
was trying to explain thingsthat I was experiencing because

(25:06):
I was taking a yoga professional, yoga training and then also
going into meditation.
So I'm trying to explain thesethings that I was learning, you
know, and he will listen to me,like okay, so I'm just gonna
give him a chance.
Eventually he would probablycatch up with me or understand

(25:29):
what I'm talking about, right,but that's the thing he was not
ready to get into that pathexactly, and it's not up to you
to have to wait.
Yeah well I can say I did waitfor a few years, but then I
noticed that I he was not readyand I was like I'm so sorry, but

(25:50):
I have to move forward becausemy soul needs more, like you
know, and I need to talk tosomeone who speak that language
of my soul.
As we just said before weactually started this
conversation, we don't have totranslate what we're saying, mm.
Hmm, exactly, having a partnerwhere we cannot talk the same

(26:13):
language in that way at the soullevel Right it's?
I mean at least for now.

For me, it's a big no, no in that relationship
where he was my everything Likeas far as like outside
friendships there were verylittle, it was just me and him.
We didn't have any problems oranything like that.
But it just got to the pointwhere I now realized that I

(26:46):
don't have to have my partner bemy everything.
So my journey is a littledifferent to where my fiance,
fiance, he he is actuallygetting on getting on board, but
he understands and I think hehas the desire to evolve and I
think we should always growthroughout life, right, always.
It's a non-stop process and justhis willingness or desire is

(27:09):
enough, right, and so, um, yeah,and so, yes, it's hard to be in
a situation where you want thatperson to come along, but they
just are not ready and uh,that's that's, and so being okay
, yeah yeah, exactly yeah, itwas a liberation for him as well

(27:29):
yeah, that's what I.
That's what I think too, becausemy ex remarried within like
four months, so he's fine.
I think it was a liberation forhim as well.
Yeah, that's what I.
That's what I think too,because my ex remarried within
like four months, so he's fine Ithink it was good for him as
well, even though he didn't wantit I'm like, look, look, what
happened for you.

Kena Siu (27:41):
That's a good thing right exactly, yeah yeah, let's
talk more about feminine essencecome energy.
Coming back to that, so after Iseparated, I joined a program
from one of my mentors, sophiaTom Temple Body Arts, and it's

(28:03):
when I finally understood howwomen actually, how we work
together with the cycles of themoon.
Oh my gosh.
Yeah, I was like that wasliterally, was mind-blowing,
like for me.
Of course, I hear it before,but it was like right, whatever.
And it was.
I mean I mean the student isready, the, the teacher is gonna

(28:27):
show us the student is ready,right.
So that's why I'm like okay,I'm ready for this, that.
And it was just like wow, itshifted my whole life by
understanding yeah, what umaspects?

if I can ask like did you find most like
groundbreaking for you?

Kena Siu (28:44):
it was really understanding how our body works
according to our cycles, and tosay, okay, if I'm in my period,
in my menstruation time, it's apause for my body.
I'm in ovulation time.

Oh yeah, my energy is to the top, just you
know, go for it and reallyaccepting how my body works and
respecting it, oh my god yeah,that's true, that is so true,
like, and it also shows howconnected we are to this
universe, because moon cyclesare about the same amount length

(29:21):
of time as a woman.
A woman's cycle, yeah, andsometimes we can sync up.
So my cycle I don't know ifthere's too much information,
but like you can ovulate withthe new moon and menstruate with
the full moon, and things likethat, I think what, what am I?

Kena Siu (29:36):
what am the white?

one.
Yeah, I think I just switchedto the red.
It's crazy because I was whitemoon and then it switched, like
to the red and to the red one.
Now yeah, for those who don'tknow, the red moon is when we
ovulate when no, sorry, when wemenstruate when we are in a full
moon yes, yes, and I justtalked about that, I think, on a

(29:58):
podcast about how, beforeelectricity, like all women,
because of the light and stuff,we're connected to the moon
cycles and, um, yeah, honoringour bodies.
Like, why do I have to guiltmyself for being tired?
Um, yeah, at one point maybe Ijust need to rest.
Like why do I fight againstthat internal feminine, knowing,

(30:18):
yes, about what my body needs?

Kena Siu (30:23):
yes, yeah, that was one of the yeah, that was yeah,
I guess, because I startedcreating resistance.
I'm battling against myselflike saying no, I need again it.
I guess it's coming back tothat, to the masculine energy of
saying no, I have to keep going, going, going all the time and
no right, we are different.

(30:43):
And by honoring and by honoringthat, it's just like uh, create
.
It has created so much ease andflow in my life yeah, because
you're not fighting yourselfconstantly.

Exactly, yeah, but it's also nice to have a
masculine or a partner who alsounderstands that, um, the
balance that we're not the sameand we're not supposed to be,
but we're equally valuable andthere's a balance between the
two, and I was, I think themasculine is more about external
action and the feminine is moreabout like, a receiving, an

(31:17):
openness and a being uh, ourintuition, you know, and within
the womb, and uh, there's somuch power there, and that's why
I feel like having shame andguilt around that feminine
energy limits our ability tofully align and manifest,

(31:37):
because we're fighting it, we'refighting our own power.

Kena Siu (31:40):
Yes, I would like to talk more about our wounds and
our feminine energy, becausemost of us, we don't know.

Yeah, I don't even know where to begin.
I mean it.
One thing I know is that a lotthat goes on within the feminine
, even scientifically, isinternal.
Uh, you can't see it, it's notseen, uh, but it's.
It's when a baby's made or, forexample, is being created.
You cannot see what's going on,but it's manifesting and then

(32:13):
one day it comes into thephysical and it.
That reminds me ofmanifestation, or having belief
that the thing that you want ison the way.
Before it comes into thephysical, it already exists, and
so we.
It's important for women, Ithink, to really turn inside of

(32:36):
ourselves and look for guidancefrom within, because we have so
much wisdom and power andknowledge within us that we're
taught to ignore or to disregard, or we're too emotional, but
again, those things that theymake us feel guilty for or
society wants us to feel shameabout, that's our power, those

(32:58):
emotions and that guidance.
And it doesn't always mean thatyou need to react to every
emotion you have, but to becomeaware of how you're feeling, to
get curious about your emotions,because I believe that's the
guidance from your inner voice,guiding you towards or away from
uh, people places things,healing, whatever it may be.

(33:22):
It all comes from within andour emotions are the energy that
we radiate to the universe tobe matched um to to, to manifest
.
So that's our power.
So feel as emotional as youneed to to be, because that is
the way that the universe speaksto us.

Kena Siu (33:43):
So, in a few words, what you meant is like for us to
search for those, for thatguidance is really to tune in
with our emotions.

Yes, for sure, for sure.
That's how I ended up here, tostop suppressing that little
urge like is there more for me?
Or like do I stay or do I go?
It's like there's always a fear.
I think fear will pop up, buttypically fear is a tool for

(34:14):
survival, and if you're not, ifyour life's not at risk, then
you can just kind of peek behindfear.
I like to look behind the fearthat I feel, and usually it's
everything, it's the answer toeverything I want behind the
fear.
So fear serves a purpose, butit's's for survival.
It is not to be, you're not tolive by fear, and so, yes, your

(34:36):
emotions are guidance.

Kena Siu (34:39):
They're like our internal gps, I would say,
towards our abundance yeah thingis unfortunately, we were not
taught how to feel our emotions.
Yes, we were taught to suppress.
Yeah, and that's the issue thatI that I have like faced with
you know, with people that Iknow, and also with my clients,

(35:01):
is the fact that they don't knowhow to experience their
emotions.
Like they, there's fear inthere because we don't know
what's going to happen.

Right, right, interesting, because we are
definitely taught how to like,suppress.
I remember being a child.
I feel like the only acceptableemotions are contentment and
being happy.
Yeah, like those are the onlytwo that you can really lean
into.

Kena Siu (35:32):
I feel and, um, I need to reconnect and how to feel
and the fear of feeling that's,that's deep, yeah yeah, one of
the things that that I learned,like at the beginning was more
like okay, let's, I'm just gonnastay with this emotion right

(35:55):
for for a minute just to seewhat happens.
Yeah, exactly just to see whathappens.
And and then you know if Iwould have liked it would just
stop it, or if I really was like, okay, let's just feel it, let
let's skip in there, because Idon't know.
They say scientifically it saysthat an emotion actually lasts

(36:18):
90 seconds.
So I was like, okay, this isvery interesting.
But then I mean, if it's reallythat emotion, but if we carry
that emotion for how many yearsor decades, then is it really 90
seconds?
I wonder, because I have, yeah,you know, it's like now, it's

(36:39):
literally now.
I'm like I'm feeling this okay,let's go, we need to try, we're
gonna cry, we need to laugh.
I'm gonna yes, you know I don'tsuppress them anymore, right,
but then yes, yeah, so I getcurious about my emotions.

So sometimes I feel things and I'm not even
sure why I will feel things.
And that's also comes aroundlike new moon, full moon you
know those cycles and how thefull moon can illuminate
emotions and make you feelthings more strongly.
Who get curious about theemotion and also realize that a

(37:15):
lot of times when I feelsomething it's not the person,
place or thing that triggeredtheir emotion?
That's the problem.
It is a sign to that I stillneed to heal something normally
um so my rejection wound came upthis last, I don't know full
moon relate to that.
Yes, oh, my, um, my ex did notwant to speak verbally about the

(37:36):
kids, and so that's fine, likeit's my, but the the intensity
of the motion didn't match whatthe trigger.
Right, I shouldn't have felt itso deeply, but I sat with it
for a while.
I'm like, why am I feeling thisso strongly?
We won't get it together, butit's that, that child, my inner
child, feeling rejection, and soit's just the opportunity to,

(38:00):
kind of like, build that muscleto to heal, to remember that,
yes, I'm on a journey and I'mnot going to just one day not
have anything to grow towards.
And so I reminded myself that Iwas enough and that it's okay.
If you know, if that persondoesn't want to speak to me, it
doesn't say anything about who Iam.

(38:23):
And so these emotions that comeup, we don't always have to
react to them, but just I liketo ask like what is this trying
to show me?
Like what needs to be healed,or there's something deeper here
and I might not be able toplace it, but eventually I will
get the answer that I need yeah,I love that, because by asking

(38:52):
why is this trying to show me?

Kena Siu (38:54):
or what can I learn from here, from here, we take
out our victimhood.
So you say, you know, becauseit's literally a trigger, yes,
but he's like okay, this istriggering me.
So it's like so what'shappening here?
Right, what?

is it?
Yeah, exactly what is it thatis within me, what you?

Kena Siu (39:11):
really have to be curious.
Yeah, exactly what is it thatis within me?
What do I have to look at it sothat I need to heal?
That is still triggering me,right, yes, yes.

And I like to look at triggers as like it's an
opportunity.

Kena Siu (39:24):
There are opportunities.

So it's like you have a bruise and someone pokes
it, like that's the trigger.
It's just a wound, an old woundthat still needs some care, and
uh, yeah, it's all I just loveI.
I get excited sometimes aboutbeing triggered because it's
like an opportunity.
Okay, like how can I likeovercome this challenge and
level up another level, or toglow up some more, you know?

(39:49):
And, uh yeah, emotions getcurious about it.
You never know what is on theother side of a feeling that we
would typically label asnegative.

Kena Siu (40:00):
But there's no good or bad exactly, and one of the
things like I remember when Istarted like working on my
emotions like a lot of peoplesay, label them.
I think it's important to labelthem until certain time, or I
don't know.
Let's say like I've beenthrough a lot of grief in my
life because of the losing of myfather and then my divorce and

(40:22):
then the breakup of one of mybest friends and stuff.
So during the grief, grievingprocess, probably, yeah, because
it's okay, it's this, is theanger, this is.
You know the different steps inthere.
But then at one point I'm likeI don't know, it's just
something in here that needs tocome up and like, and at this
point I'm like I don't need tolabel everything exactly because

(40:45):
you can become hyper aware andthen, like your whole life
revolves around it.

I had postpartum depression after my son and
then I got hyper aware of all myfeelings and it just became
like this thing of like oh mygosh, I'm feeling this, am I
feeling that?
But it's like life ebbs andflows.
You know, we're women, we haveour psych, like we go through
this cycle and we feel things.

Kena Siu (41:06):
And I don't have to be hypervigilant to the point of
self-sabotage or holding myselfback, but yes, yeah, and the
thing is, sometimes it's a mixof three, four different
emotions and you're like whatthe hell am I gonna label this?

yes, exactly, exactly.
So much like you don't evenknow like where it's coming from
or what it actually is.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Kena Siu (41:37):
Okay, so let's talk about manifestation now, because
I know that's one of the maintopics that you talk in your
podcast.

Yes, manifestation.
Where should we go?

Kena Siu (41:48):
Okay, well, where do you want to start?
I'm going to let you go.

Well, abraham Hicks I'm not sure if you're
familiar yes, okay, so that islike my main manifestation
teacher, I would say.
So I just believe that ouremotions are the energy that we
offer to be matched, and, inorder to manifest well, it's

(42:18):
important to prioritize ouremotional wellbeing, the way
that we feel, and we can do thatby designing our lives to align
with us as authentically aspossible, and it's authenticity
that will allow us to manifestour highest timeline or our

(42:38):
highest abundance.
I guess you would say, but youcan't live an authentic life if
you're unhealed, and you can'tlive an authentic life If your
inner child is carrying thisbaggage from the past.
And so that's where the healingcomes in, because to live a
life that feels good and thatfeels authentic, we, we need to

(43:02):
heal, we have to grow and wehave to move in alignment with
where our soul is is calling us,yeah, and so I call it emotive
manifestation is manifestingwith your emotions and, uh, yeah
, the healing part is, I think,the biggest aspect of that,

(43:25):
because then you, you meetyourself, maybe for the first
time yeah, I love this and I'mso glad what you said about
authenticity, because I think ithas become such a cliche world
at this moment.

Kena Siu (43:43):
But, as you said, you cannot be authentic if you don't
heal yourself.
Yeah, that's so true.

Right, you can't get back to the true you that
you came as unless you unloadall of that heavy baggage.
You have to unload it, yes,yeah be baggage you have to
unload it.
Yes, yeah, and it's.
It's, I think, being a feminine, feminine energy, that's a to
walk in that authentically andthen to uh, not the people
pleasing that I have peoplepleasing or the, the fear being

(44:14):
seen, the fear being heard, likeall of that, I had so much
baggage that was stopping mefrom being who I truly am.
And you can rise.
It's like you heal and you canrise.
Your vibration, I feel, risesas you begin to strip off all of
the unnecessary behaviors andbeliefs and ways of being.

(44:37):
That's when you manifest, andit's not manifesting things.
You're manifesting you.
You know you're manifesting yourtruest self and when you return
and you're your truest self inthe physical, everything around
you just kind of like falls intoplace.
You meet the right people,places, things.
You don't have to do anythingelse.

(44:57):
There's no need to vision boardor to do all of the external
masculine actions aroundmanifestation.
You don't need to do anythingelse.
There's no need to vision boardor to do all of the external
masculine actions aroundmanifestation.
You don't need to do thatanymore because it happens from
within you, within the feminineum.
You just manifest by being youand that's the ease and flow um,
in that you just receive oh, mygod, that's so true.

Kena Siu (45:21):
I guess I'm experiencing in the last months
like I really feel, likethinking within me and I'm
seeing how things aremanifesting and, as you said,
that manifestation is me, it'sreally through me and yes, wow,
you're the magnet, like you arethe magnet.
Yes, yeah, it's really, it'sreally beautiful.
It's beautiful because thenit's when we say, yeah, the the

(45:43):
healing process, like goingthrough the pain and cutting off
that suffering anymore and andstart living it.
I started living the life thatI really want to.

Yes sometimes we don't even have words to
describe the life we want.
But when you, you becomeyourself, I feel like your soul,
like soul level, things thatmaybe you didn't even know you
wanted, because you didn't havethe words to express that even
existed, just come to youbecause your energy is pure,
you're authentic now, and thethings that you don't have words

(46:15):
for, just law of attraction,you just it just falls into your
life.
It's the most beautifulexperience and I have never felt
more alive, like actually, likeI'm living and every day is
exciting, like I don't reallyget excited anymore because I
think I'm so in sync now that,like every day it's like a

(46:35):
scavenger hunt, like what istoday gonna bring?

Kena Siu (46:38):
it's just so fun to be alive.
Yeah, no.
And we said like of course itwas going to happen.
He's like yeah, yeah, wow andof course, of course yes,
exactly, exactly, yes.

It really is fun .
It's like this co-creation andwe have, like this, this partner
to to do it all with us, likeI'll stay on my lane and let the
universe stay in their lane andwe just, it's beautiful.

Kena Siu (47:03):
I think it's very important to understand that we
are co-creators, that we're notleaving it to someone, to God,
you know, god, universe, earthonly.
No, it is also a responsibility, as Abraham says, to take
inspired action.
So then, we can co-create,together with the universe, the

(47:23):
life that we want, that wedeserve.
Yes, exactly that co-creation.
Otherwise, we need to takeresponsibility.

Yes, because also, if you're not co-creating,
then I'm living in controlagain.
I don't want full controls.
I don't want it Like I'm sohappy to have this divine
colleague that's what I calllike this partner that I work
with Um.
It's a very beautiful thing andback to the Eden energy like the

(47:54):
.
The first instructions or thefirst assignment that we got was
to be fruitful and multiply,and people apply that only to
babies and children, but it'slike everything we were put here
to like be prosperous and justkeep like being abundant in all
things and peace and joy, like Imanifest.
I used to write lists of thingsthat I wanted, but now it's the

(48:18):
feeling how do I want my lifeto feel and I go for that.
That's what I want to manifest,and so I just began to feel it
now and then the your life kindof like falls in around you,
like you're here, you becameyourself and all the little
pieces just start to like kindof fall in around you.
It's it's so freeing andexciting and just.

(48:40):
I would never go back, ever.

Kena Siu (48:43):
I I don't think we can we can't.

When she's seen it and when she felt it like
it's impossible, yeah go backyeah, and so no matter what
comes my way is happening for meand not to me, so things that I
would have labeled as bad, Ican always see the purpose in it
and I'm like I can see that andmy kids do it now, which is

(49:08):
amazing.
They're like oh, I'm glad that Ilost that thing because I got
this, or you know, they can likesee things as being for them or
neutral versus a bad thing, butyeah, yeah, I think it's so.

Kena Siu (49:23):
Yeah, I think it's so important to be able to see
things from differentperspectives and how a simple
shift it can just make a hugedifference.

Yeah, change your whole world?
Yes, like it really does, justseeing things and not engaging
in certain things from a from anegative perspective.

Kena Siu (49:50):
Yeah, the victim thing .

I can't deal, I can't deal with the victimhood,
because if I'm a victim, thatmeans there's nothing that I can
do to change the situation.
Can do to change the situationif.
If I blame other people fordoing something to me and I
don't take responsibility, thenhow can I change anything?
But if I can say I did this, sonext time I'll do it

(50:11):
differently, then I'm in control.
Like not control like that, butlike there's something that I
can shift to um to have apositive effect.

Kena Siu (50:19):
I guess yeah, and I think well, when I, when I used
to have a positive effect, Iguess yeah, and I think, well, I
used to be a victim for a longtime, but what I didn't realize
is, by being so, I was giving mypower away Because, as you're
saying, you give me your poweraway, just letting someone like
traffic, so I have some friendswho get really angry about
traffic or someone pulling outin front of them and I'm like,

(50:43):
first of all, you're lettingthat complete stranger take your
power away, because now you'relowering your vibration, because
you're angry over somethingthat you've probably done a
thousand times before.

Anyway, I mean, just look at it as, oh, maybe
they like saved me from anaccident, you know, maybe you
know the traffic is slow, so I,you know it's all gonna work out
in all this does, because we'rehere everything's fine exactly.

Kena Siu (51:06):
Oh, can I share something, because I got really
excited last week when I have acall with one of my clients she
shared actually started tellingme that the other day she was
driving, she went to school todrop off her, her son, and on
the way back home, somebody,just, you know, cut her off and
then it went slower and she waslike, of course, in the

(51:27):
beginning she was like you knowshe was, she reacted and then
she was like okay, I'm justgonna pause here.
This person is going slower, Idon't know what's happening, but
it's okay.
And then she realized that thenthey stopped because there was
a school bus right on the frontand she was like, as you said,

(51:49):
there's always a reason.
Yes, but she was like me byjust saying I don't know what's
happening, I don't know what'sgoing on with this person, I'm
just gonna calm down, stay in,you know, in my pee, yes, yes.
And she was like and of course,my whole day was different.
Yes, of course, because thenshe got home she did the show
she needed to do, but in a niceenergy flow exactly, instead of,

(52:12):
you know, right, trappedbecause somebody else says I
know, you know.

So it's like yeah that's awesome because it
is yes, it is power away whenyou, those little things take
you out of alignment, like it'shappening for me.
I don't even understand it, butI'm just gonna say it's
happening for me and, um, evenif it just keeps you in
alignment and connected, that'sa win.
That's a win.

Kena Siu (52:38):
And yeah, it was a huge win for her when she told
me it's like that's the thing.
I said, like this is the coolthing about empowerment, because
it's those little shifts, thoseare the ones who make the
difference.

Yes, because you're gonna have a bad life,
like people who say they have abad life, you just one shift.
Oh, that's okay.
That traffic thing happened,everything's fine, like it just
takes you from this anger tothis peace.
Yes, and yeah, it's a littlething, but it's a big deal.

Kena Siu (53:09):
Yeah, because it creates a ripple effect during
the rest of your day, right?

It does, yeah, it does you attract more of the
same Mm-hmm.

Kena Siu (53:17):
Mm-hmm.
Exactly, yeah, yeah.
Mm-hmm exactly, yeah, yeah.
Um, I have a question regardingagain coming back to
manifestation.
Uh, what's the differencebetween manifesting from lack
versus manifesting from overflow?

okay.
So manifesting so we're alwaysmanifesting, regardless, even if
we know it or not.
So, manifesting from a lack, Iwould say, like a lack mindset,
you're just going to get more.
You're going to get more of thesame you.
You may be able to manifestlike, say, the thing you want,
you want more money.

(53:54):
But if you come at it from alack mindset, I believe that to
maintain that manifestation willbe more difficult because you
believe that you need to workhard or you believe that you
have to like hustle or grind forthat manifestation.

(54:14):
But if you come at it fromabundance, it's just easier to
maintain because you're inalignment and you um, you're
meeting the right people.
It's like you're in more of aco-creation, I think.
When you manifest fromabundance, so it's just like
everything will fall into placemore easily.

(54:35):
And it's not the lack, scarcity.
I have to do this, I need youto do that, do that.
I'm in control, it's all on me.
I think that's the difference.
Is that the what question thatyou?
were asking yeah, yeah okay,yeah, abundance um sets the tone
.
It sets the tone that all iswell.

Kena Siu (54:54):
All is well and you're going to manifest from that
place and it always will be andhow was for you to to tune in,
or what practices did you do totune into that?

abundance.
Oh, who was it?
I just, I think I built overtime a trusting relationship
with the universe that allowedme to relax and receive.
But you have to build thatrelationship through, like you
would with a human, through uh,communication and um, and like

(55:49):
talking to the universe, yourinner voice or whatever you want
to call it, saying thank you,ask questions, like there's
nothing too small that therethat we can speak with and
connect.

Kena Siu (56:00):
So I think it was through trust that I made that
shift okay for me was morebecause I I used to have a
mindset, uh, uh and scarcitymindset, for my whole life
almost, and what it helped me alot was to start uh journaling
about gratitude oh, okay yeah, Iactually.

(56:24):
I used to have little bookletslike this and I will do it.
You know, I will do three to beyes, it's like two, three
gratitude you know, everything.
So that's how I started, butthen it was really cool because
it just then started gettinglike even longer and then right

(56:44):
and then more specific, becauseI know, you know, like I would
say I don't know if I would sayI'm grateful for my mom, but
then I would say I'm gratefulthat my mom supported me because
of this, yes, or you know, I amgrateful, I don don't know,
that I can write or like, okay,well, I'm grateful actually for
my pen and it has differentcolors.

(57:06):
You know, all these littlethings that I think it made me.
No, I think it really did makeme realize, like, how abundant I
am with those little thingsthat we take usually for granted
, right, but it makes life somuch easier.
Right thing is, a lot of thingsare all there and they're all

(57:26):
free.
A couple of like three, fourweeks ago, like I was still by
the beach and I was juststanding outside in front of the
ocean, I was like this is likefull abundance all the water,
the sunlight, the sand, the wind.
Like it can get more abundant.

(57:48):
Like right is.
You know exactly, so you thinkyour abundance grew, like as you
healed.

I feel like once we become more of our true
selves, we can see.
I don't know you see with neweyes.
It's like the world becomesalive.
Yeah the veils stop dropping.
Yeah, exactly, exactly that'sit.
Yes, that's it.
We return to that originalstate, more closely to the
original state, and then we canlike yeah, the little things.

(58:16):
It's like, wow, this is amazing, like the trees and just how it
all works.
Like there's a, there's a rockin the sky called the moon.
It's like this being inexistence is mind blowing.

Kena Siu (58:30):
Yeah, yeah, and then, as you said, like noticing all
those big things the universe,the sun and then noticing like
I'm like this, like what am Imaking all this big deal
sometimes, Exactly.
Yes, I am nothing, but at thesame time I'm everything.
But it's like having thatconsciousness and saying, okay,

(58:51):
so what kind of a part I want totake in this.

Yes exactly.
Exactly Because you are a partof it.
Like you say, it's aco-creation, and if all of that
stuff is in place and the wholeworld, if everything else is
functioning, I'm okay, like I'mtaken care of as well, I'm a
part of it.
So, yeah, there's a great piecein that mindset around like

(59:24):
money or things like that,because, um, like, my mom like
always like took care of us,like financially and things like
that, and then my husband wasthe, the breadwinner when I was
a stay-at-home mom.
But I think my lack mindsetcame around just being myself
and having a fear of being beingable to be accepted for myself
or seeing myself, and so toswitch to an abundance mindset

(59:44):
around, that was just, I think,for me.
I had to begin to live as myself, if that makes sense, to back
to the healing, to show up asmyself, to do the things that I
ended up being judged for andjust really loving myself like

(01:00:07):
inner child.
That's how I got to abundancemindset was to look at the
little me and give her thegratitude and the love, because
then it was just okay to be me,which seems.
Then it was just okay to be me,which seems small, but it was
like a radical rebellion againstthe person I used to be and I

(01:00:29):
did lose, like some friends andstuff because they fell in love
with me.
I was unhealed and I don'tthink it was possible for them
to make that shift with me.
But yeah, yeah, just lovinglittle rayvon was my switch to
abundance you're making me cry.

Kena Siu (01:00:50):
You just spoke directly to my soul.
No, I totally understand whatyou say.
Yeah, and it's so beautifuljust to to listening from
someone else, because then it'slike it means that, yeah, it's
that abundance that come fromfrom within and right, yeah, and
it's because of, again, thehealing process that I've been

(01:01:12):
through.
Uh, yeah, the parent, theparenting that I've done to my
inner child, all the healingfrom my feminine energies, all
those things together, yes, ah,that have broke us here now.

Raivon LeToiya (01:01:27):
Yes, I know, it's a return to Eden is what I
call it.
It's that return to thatoriginal blueprint for us to
just live as us.
It seems so simple to say it,but it's so like revolutionary,
it's, it's oh, I can't, I don'thave words yeah, I call it.

Kena Siu (01:01:48):
I call it connecting back to our souls.
Yes, that's for sure.
Yeah, right, yeah, as you said,it's freaking revolutionary
because it takes us a lot ofcourage and resilience, so much
and time and relationships andpain and whatever.
Yes, but at the same time, whenwe realize it's worth it.

It's so worth it .
And people told me, like, areyou sure you want to leave?
Like you have a good life, areyou sure you don't want to be
there?
But I would never go back.
I would never go back.
This, never go back.
This is my first time livingalone with my kids, like in my
adult life, and, yeah, I love it, like I just love it's.
I could have never predictedthis.

(01:02:33):
I actually was terrified when Ithought I might end up divorced
, like it was not something Iwanted to, but like the universe
and the signs and the people.
And it was a midlife calling,an awakening, and I answered the
call and I'm so glad.

Kena Siu (01:02:52):
I'm so glad we did.
Yes, yes, thank you Beautiful.

And now we're living in our purpose.
I feel like this is my purposeto speak to other women, and
I've met other women also whohave had the same experience
within the last several years oflike waking up and saying yes
and um, now wanting to go outand wake up, help other women
like, wake up and, uh, get tothe top of that mountain.

Kena Siu (01:03:22):
Yeah, ah, that's beautiful.
So that's the invitation to ourlisteners today to answer your
call.
Whoever you are, meet likebutterfly and answer the call it
is worth it.

It is so worth it.
You have to know it so worth it.

Kena Siu (01:03:44):
Yes, raven, do you want to share?
What people can uh find you?

um, yes, so on instagram and on youtube, I am
the energetic glow up.
Also on spotify and anypodcasting um platform that you
enjoy the energetic glow up.

Kena Siu (01:04:02):
Rayvon latoya, that's where you can find me okay,
beautiful, I'm gonna be sharingthe links and show notes.
And, rayvon, it has been apleasure and an honor to speak
soul to soul today.
What a beautiful conversation.
I enjoyed so much me too somuch for your presence, for your

(01:04:22):
guidance, for your wisdom, forthe work that you do and, yeah,
I look forward to keepingcontact with you for sure, for
sure.

Thank you so much.
My pleasure have a great day.

Kena Siu (01:04:39):
Thank you for tuning into midlife butterfly.
If this episode lead a spark inyou, hit that subscribe or
follow button on Apple Podcasts,Spotify or wherever you love to
listen, so you'll never missthe magic.
If you're feeling generous,drop a review on Apple Podcasts.
It helps this empoweringcontent reach more souls ready
to transform their lives.
And don't forget to take aphoto of you while listening and

(01:05:01):
share it on your socials.
You can tag me at Ken as you,so I can celebrate you and your
expansion.
Until next time, keep spreadingthose wings and living in joy,
growth and pleasure.

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#20 - From Force to Flow: Feminine Energy, Inner Child Healing & Manifestation with Raivon LeToyia

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}#20 - From Force to Flow: Feminine Energy, Inner Child Healing & Manifestation with Raivon LeToyia