#21 - You’ve Always Belonged: A Midlife Woman’s Journey Back to Herself

In this soul-opening episode, I share a tender memory from my teenage years that planted the seed of a deep belief: I don’t belong. This story, small on the surface, but huge in impact, shaped how I showed up in life, relationships, and even my business. I unpack how that moment led me to become a lone wolf, to hide, to shrink… and how I’ve been gently unraveling that old truth to reclaim my worth, voice, and belonging. This one’s for the woman who’s ready to remember that she always belonged, and to finally belong to herself first.

I shared a powerful guided practice to connect with your inner child and whisper the words she always needed to hear.

Reflection Questions:

1. When was the first time you felt like you didn’t belong?
2. What story did you start telling yourself after that experience—and is it still running your life?
3. What would shift if you chose to belong to yourself first?

Join the Midlife Butterfly Facebook group [http://www.facebook.com/groups/midlifebutterfly] and check out my one-on-one six-week journey called the Butterfly Path [https://midlifebutterfly.ca/butterfly-path]. If this episode resonated with you and you're ready to reclaim your power, I'm here to support you!

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You can find all the podcast details right here: http://midlifebutterfly.ca/podcast

Download the Midlife Butterfly Guide with 5 Radical Practices to Heal, Take Your Power Back & Rise

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Join the Midlife Butterfly Community: http://www.facebook.com/groups/midlifebutterfly

For Coaching, Courses & More Visit Kena's Website: http://midlifebutterfly.ca/workwithme

Request a Free Empowered Call with Kena if you're interested in working with her: https://midlifebutterfly.ca/empoweredsession

Song: Reborn by Alexander Nakarada

Episode Transcript

Kena Siu (00:00):
Hey, beautiful, welcome back to Midlife
Butterfly.
Today's episode is tender.
It's powerful.
It's for the woman who's everfelt like she didn't belong.
Maybe you felt like an outsider.
Maybe you had a moment in yourlife where you stopped trusting
that you were meant to be partof something.
If that's you, I see you, Ifeel you and I have a story to

(00:29):
share.
Midlife Butterfly, a woman inthe sacred in between.
She's not who she once was andnot quite who she's becoming.
Yet.
She's unraveling, awakening,remembering.
She's navigating lifetransitions divorce, loss,
reinvasion moves with a burningdesire for freedom, joy and

(00:50):
solid living.
She feels the pull to rise, tofly.
She's no longer afraid of herown wings.
I noticed that something in mybusiness has been holding me
back.
There was something in mysubconscious that I felt I

(01:11):
needed to explore because it hasbeen blocking me for decades.
Yeah, that's the truth.
So I took the time to pause, tolisten and reflect, and it
brought me back to when I was 13years old.
So I'll tell you this story.

(01:33):
I went to look for a friend andwhen I knock on the door, his
little brother open and then avoice screamed who is it?
And he responded a skinny girlwith glasses and brackets, and

(01:53):
well, it ended up that my friendwas not there.
So I came back to the car wheremy parents were waiting for me.
I was fucking furious, I wastotally pissed off and of course
my parents noticed it and theyasked me what happened.
So I told them, but they justlaughed about it.

(02:15):
I mean, it was not a big deal,right?
At least that's what we thought.
The little boy was justdescribing what he saw, because
he was asked what was going onand my parents didn't know
better.
So they just laughed.
But I didn't realize at thatmoment.

(02:35):
It marked me because my littlegirl interpreted as being
rejected, as that you don'tbelong here, and I believe it.

(02:56):
But I forgot about it.
And then I became a lone wolfand for years I actually
operated from here, you know,like in friendships, with
acquaintances, like even in mybusiness now, and I actually
used to think that I was a chaiperson.
I now know that I am anambivert and like I used to go,

(03:27):
you know, if I would be ingatherings with a lot of unknown
people, I would just mostlikely stay with the people that
I know, or I would just kind ofhide in the corner.
So then, of course, peoplewould not notice me, so I would
be unseen, I would hide,basically, and I would rarely,

(03:55):
rarely, dare to actually makethe first move to approach
people.
That has been shifting littleby little.
It actually took me two yearsto video for my business and

(04:18):
that's what is that?
Deep down, the younger versionof me was still scared.
It was very scared to berejected again.
Now I interpret it differently,of course, and this time when I
decided to explore deeperbecause I know there was this

(04:43):
thing holding me back when I wasjournaling and taking the time
to cry because I did cry then iswhen I started shifting.
Cry because I did cry Then iswhen I started shifting.

(05:03):
It's when I noticed why I'mdoing this work for myself and,
of course, for Midlife Butterfly.
I was finally able to hear thatvoice saying I don't feel like
I belong in this space, and thevoice was so clear.

(05:28):
And then I noticed that I havereflecting this in my coaching,
as a leader, as a business owner.
Deep down, I didn't feel like Ibelong in here, and when I

(05:57):
started reflecting it, Irealized that that was a lie.
I have always belonged, youhave always belonged.
It's just our limiting mindsthat tell us that to protect us,

(06:21):
that's all they are trying toprotect us, to keep us safe, and
at the same time, I realizedthat really I'm not meant to fit

(06:45):
in.
I'm actually meant to create anew space, and that's why I
created the Midlife Firefly tohonor women like me.
I even have in my wall thisquote that says Do not go where
the pathway leads.
Go instead where there is nopath and leave a trail.

(07:09):
This quote is from Ralph WaldoEmerson and I felt like this all
the time, like I don't have tofollow the crowds, I don't have
to follow everybody or anyoneelse's path.

(07:32):
I am here to create my owntrail, and this is what I'm
doing in a different way, in myunique way, and it might
resonate to people and theymight feel my might, follow my
path for a bit, but my aim is toreally guide others to start

(07:55):
their own trail, live their owntrail.
So I want to ask you when didyou first feel like you didn't
belong?
What decision did you makeabout yourself in that moment?

(08:21):
And what if that was never yourtruth, just your trauma, like
in my case?
You don't have to keep beingthat lone wolf.
You don't have to shrink to besafe.
What if you and me startedbelonging to ourselves first?

(08:51):
Because once we embody that,once we understand that first we
gotta belong to ourselves.
Then that truth that we havealways belonged is going to be

(09:14):
our truth as well.
I want to invite you to tolisten to this practice.
If you're in a safe place, Iinvite you to close your eyes.

(09:35):
If you're not, just listen tomyself, and then you can come
back afterwards.
So please close your eyes.
Just let my voice guide you tobe this gentle reminder that you

(10:01):
belong.
Let's take a few breathstogether, breathing in through
the nose, out through the mouth,and try to relax your body as
much as you can.
Let's do it again, breathingthrough the nose, out through

(10:26):
the mouth, relaxing the body abit more.
Let your body soften, let yourjaw relax, let your shoulders
drop.
You are safe, you are held andyou are not alone.

(10:50):
I will ask you to bring yourattention to your heart.
If you feel comfortable, placea hand over there and feel the
warmth of your own touch, andimagine that you're breathing

(11:14):
into your heart and exhalingfrom it too.
Can you feel that expansion andthat contraction with each
breath that you're and allowthat softness to come to your

(11:37):
heart, allow that softness togrow.
And now, in your mind's eye,picture that little girl of you,

(11:58):
that version of you.
What is she wearing?
What is her expression on herface?
Where is she now?
Just observe her, not judgment.
Just observe her, not judgment,only love towards her.

(12:19):
And I invite you to walk up toher gently, look into her eyes
and say to her I see you, I loveyou, you belong.
I see you, I love you, youbelong.

(12:43):
Notice her eyes and tell heragain I see you, I love you, you
belong.
And give her a big hug, if thatfeels right for you.
Let her feel safe again, lether feel that safety that she

(13:15):
didn't feel at that moment ofrejection.
Now repeat softly to yourself Ibelong to myself, I belong to

(13:39):
love, I belong to this life,exactly as I am no-transcript.

(14:59):
But I am sure that my littlegirl, she will show me what I'm
doing now.
Little woman owning my voiceeven when it breaks, seeing me
creating this community thismoment.
She'll be so fucking proud ofme.

(15:21):
And I want you to feel thatpride too, because you deserve
to belong, to lead, to rise.
You do, and that's why I inviteyou to be part of my community

(15:42):
of midlife butterfly.
I am sharing the link below tomy facebook group and, if this
resonated with you and you'reready to reclaim your power,
where I have a one-on-onesix-week journey called the
Butterfly Path, I'm going to besharing the links in the show

(16:04):
notes and I hope this episodehas served you.
This is the inner work that Ido on my own and I wanted to
share with you, because you canalso do it on yours and I can
also support you if you need to.
I'll leave you with this with alot of love and certainty that

(16:38):
you are love, that you belong,and it's time to keep flying.
It's time to be seen.
It's time to share your voice.
It's time to speak your truth,be your truth and live your

(17:02):
truth.
I love you.
Take care.
Thank you for tuning intoMidlife Butterfly.
If this episode lead a spark inyou, hit that subscribe or
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If you're feeling generous,drop a review on Apple Podcasts.

(17:24):
It helps this empoweringcontent reach more souls ready
to transform their lives.
And don't forget to take aphoto of you while listening and
share it on your socials.
You can tag me at Kena Siu so Ican celebrate you and your
expansion.
Until next time, keep spreadingthose wings and living in joy,
growth and pleasure.