July 2, 2025 • 58 mins
Hey beautiful,
What if menopause wasn’t an ending... but your wild, sacred rebirth?
This week’s conversation is an initiation into that very truth. I’m joined by the magnetic and deeply embodied Luce Beaulieu, a midlife priestess, feminist powerhouse, and coach guiding women through the holy fire of menopause. Together, we dismantle outdated beliefs around aging, sex, and desire—and open the door to something much juicier: pleasure as power, intimacy as liberation, and aging as your erotic awakening.
If you’ve ever felt like your midlife body was betraying you, or your libido was fading—this episode is the love letter (and the permission slip) your soul’s been craving.
You’ll walk away remembering that this season of your life isn’t about shrinking—it’s about deepening. Let’s go there.
In This Episode, You’ll Hear:
- How menopause is a sacred, feminine initiation—not a decline, but a descent into your deepest power
- What tantra really means (spoiler: it’s not just about sex), and how it can become a lifestyle of embodied aliveness
- Simple, delicious ways to reconnect with your pleasure—solo or partnered—without shame or performance
- The truth about libido in midlife (and why your vagina might just be trying to tell you something)
- Why so many midlife divorces are actually a sign of awakening—and not a failure
Reflection Questions:
- What myths or beliefs about midlife or menopause are you ready to release right now?
- What parts of your body are longing to be seen, touched, loved... by you?
- Where in your life are you being invited to descend into the “underworld” to rediscover your power?
Find Luce:
- Website: immergence.co
- Instagram: @immergence.co
- Join her Facebook group: Menopause is Your Superpower: Welcome to the Midlife Temple.
- Retreat Offer: Aging with Eros, special discount code for you: Butterfly15
CLARITY: For the woman who feels lost and is ready to come HOME to herself.
Join me from July 22-24, 3 pm ET.
Sign Up Now: https://midlifebutterfly.ca/clarity
- - - - -
You can find all the podcast details right here: http://midlifebutterfly.ca/podcast
Download the Midlife Butterfly Guide with 5 Radical Practices to Heal, Take Your Power Back & Rise
Follow Kena on Instagram: @midlifebutterfly
Join the Midlife Butterfly Community: http://www.facebook.com/groups/midlifebutterfly
For Coaching, Courses & More Visit Kena's Website: http://midlifebutterfly.ca/workwithme
Request a Free Empowered Call with Kena if you're interested in working with her: https://midlifebutterfly.ca/empoweredsession
Song: Reborn by Alexander Nakarada
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Kena Siu (00:00):
I believe that menopause is an initiation into
power.
Midlife butterfly, a woman inthe sacred in between.
She's not who she once was andnot quite who she's becoming yet
.
She's unraveling, awakening,remembering.
She's navigating lifetransitions divorce loss,
(00:23):
reinvasion moves with a burningdesire for freedom.
Divorce loss, reinvasion moves,with a burning desire for
freedom, joy and solid living.
She feels the pull to rise, tofly.
She's no longer afraid of herown wings.
I believe that menopause is aninitiation into power.
Those are the words of our dearguest today, luz Bolu.
(00:48):
She is a transformationalpowerhouse guiding women through
the sacred portal of menopause.
She is a certified coach,social transformation specialist
, feminist and innovator.
Luz brings her lived wisdom tothe table with heart and heat,
and I am proof of that.
Now, at 52, she's on the otherside of the menopause transition
(01:12):
and she's here to tell thetruth.
It's not the end, it's arebirth.
Her journey through marriage,divorce, motherhood and
awakening in a deeply satisfyingand hot love life has shaped
her mission to help women movethrough perimenopause with
dignity, empowerment and joy.
(01:33):
For loose menopause crack heropen not just physically but
spiritually.
It became a getaway to wisdom,deeper intimacy, conscious love,
financial and meaningful work.
She now helps women embracethis rite of passage as a
powerful initiation into theirmost authentic, embodied selves.
(01:55):
It's such a pleasure to haveyou here, sister.
Luce Beaulieu (02:01):
Thank you so much , sister.
Kena Siu (02:03):
thank you so much, sister.
Well, first of all I want youto add something else to that
bio that I just read, if youwant to tell a little bit about
your story, where you are now,what was before, what you are
now, before we dive in into moreabout the topics of tantra and
(02:26):
sexuality in midlife.
Luce Beaulieu (02:29):
Yeah, so I realized that the bio that I
wrote was actually before my53rd birthday, so I'm actually
53.
Okay, so I'm two and a halfyears post menopause and my
menopause transition was a realinitiation.
And the initiation how can Iput it?
(02:55):
Blueprint for women.
The feminine initiation, inother words, is about really
going deep.
So if anybody's looking at us,or if you're not, actually not
looking at us, it's a U-shapedshape.
So you basically go down andthen you go up, so you have to
(03:18):
go down before you go up again,whereas the hero's journey, so
which is more masculine is goingon a quest and discovering
yourself through hardships andthings like that.
But for us it's this U-shapedwhere we go really, really deep
in the underworld.
We die, we have some kind of anidentity, death, and once we
(03:42):
rebirth, we reawaken, then wecan become transformed and we
can have another identity.
So that was my case with mymenopause initiation, which was
about three years ago, and eversince then, when I have
reemerged, completelytransformed, I realized that my
mission was really to help womenin midlife reawaken, rediscover
(04:07):
their true feminine power.
Kena Siu (04:12):
Yes, we are all here for empowerment, that's for sure
.
I love that.
I love that because I think,because of the patriarchy is
considered something bad betweenquotes, and, as you said, I do
believe it's a rebirth and it'sso fucking powerful because we
(04:32):
know ourselves better as midlife.
So, having the knowledge thatyou have, that's what I want you
to share more in here.
It's being actually morepowerful as a woman.
Yes, yeah, absolutely yeah.
(04:53):
Okay, let's start with what isactually tantra.
Luce Beaulieu (05:13):
What is Tantra?
The eternal question.
Tantra is basically a spiritualpath that was originally
developed for everyday people,so it's a spiritual path for the
people who are not therenunciates.
So the renunciates were thepeople who chose to be priests
or priestesses or nuns or monksor you know all of these things.
And Tantra, of course, in India, was the path for the everyday
(05:37):
man or woman, right, and soTantra could be done as a person
who is married, with childrenbeing in life, and so this is
really the essence, and what Ilove about Tantra is that
everything is included, rightDark and light, anger and joy,
(05:58):
ecstasy and horrific pain, andeverything in between these
different poles as well.
And so the practice, because Idon't consider myself a tantrica
.
I'm not trained enough to sayI'm a tantrica, but I approach
life and I definitely approachguiding and coaching women with
(06:20):
a tantric approach, and so whatthat means is that, and also a
shamanic approach to life, tomidlife, to relationships, to
self-love, to sexuality, to thebody, to all these things, and
so what that means essentiallyis that it's important to become
(06:43):
intimate with the things thatwe experience.
So if I'm experiencingsomething like shame, then how
can I meet shame and how can Iget intimate with shame?
And then how can I feel shameto be able to process it, to go
through it, instead of resistingand hiding myself from it.
(07:04):
So it's about getting intimatewith every single emotion, every
single part of us, so that wecan experience all of life
because, again, all is included.
And if we go a little bit deeperinto tantric tools or tantric
approaches, there's differentpillars to tantra.
The first one is presence.
So to be fully present is avery, you know, tantric thing to
(07:29):
do, especially in intimacy witha partner.
Then the breath is absolutelyfundamental.
Energy as well is fundamental.
And then what we call lifeforce, energy, even more
specifically, when we're talkingabout, you know, sexuality and
orgasm, and what we also calleros is also, you know, all of
(07:53):
it is energy.
Kena Siu (07:54):
Right, and you know, yeah, sorry, yeah, because I
think, at least me, I relatedmore only with that life force,
energy that you're saying, withsexuality, when, when we hear
about tantra, I don't knowwhat's the perception of other
people, but at least how I haveperceived it is usually just
focused on that and now thatyou're saying it has pillars, it
(08:19):
presents breath and energy,then I can say I'm in the
tantric part, the last part, weget in there, but eventually.
But okay, so thank you forspecifying that, because it's I
mean, as you said, it involveseverything and it can become a
(08:39):
lifestyle for what I understandthat you are saying.
Luce Beaulieu (08:43):
Absolutely, and it's.
It's something that can infuseevery single part of life,
whether it's sexuality or doingthe dishes, or how you wake up
in the morning, how you choose,what you choose to cultivate,
what you pay attention to.
So, again, you know presence,what you, what you cultivate in
(09:04):
terms of the energy, thethoughts, the emotions.
You know that can be tantric,it can also be very shamanic, um
, and essentially it all boilsdown to anything that is very
close to the earth.
So, like earth-basedspirituality, yeah okay, that
makes sense.
Kena Siu (09:24):
I mean, you're very grounded and I know you're super
, you know you love the nature,the elements and all here.
So it makes sense that, uh,that's a good combination of
knowledge that you have.
Ah, gain, because, yeah, that'syou, thank you.
Um, so, in a way of the tantra,again coming back to that, if
(09:53):
we dive a little bit more intothat life, life force, energy,
how can women connect to theirown pleasure without well, it
could be with a partner andwithout having a partner?
Luce Beaulieu (10:11):
and I'm guessing like specifically women in
midlife going throughperimenopause menopause yeah
exactly, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's an excellent, excellent,very, very big question.
Um, which could be, you know,three days of of courses and
(10:32):
workshops.
Uh, the short answer, I think,is in any way that's available,
right?
So that can mean, um, I closemy eyes and I connect to my
breath for five minutes.
It can be I'm just going toturn around and look at my plant
(10:53):
for 30 seconds, just to havelike a little bit of a pause and
to feel into my body.
The most, I would say the mostimportant thing is to start
feeling into what is below theneck, because we live very in
our heads yes, Right, yeah, Ilove you specifying that because
(11:14):
, yeah, that's so true.
Kena Siu (11:15):
We live in our heads.
Luce Beaulieu (11:16):
Yeah, we live in our heads and also we live in
front and in our screens.
Yeah, and in our screens, yeah.
So, in fact, if, if, if we arekind of, if we were to draw a
picture of how we live, it'slike one millimeter deep in
front of our face and from theneck, from the chin up.
That is so sad.
(11:38):
Right, it is, yeah, and yetthere's so much more.
There's the body.
There's all the somaticsensations inside of the body.
That is life force, energy.
So when women come to me likeyou know new clients, and
they're like I don't know aboutthis somatic thing, I'm not
really good with my body, like Idon't know how this works, and
(12:02):
they feel intimidated and I justbreathe because you are being
breathed Literally, you don'thave to decide anything.
Your body is breathing youevery single day.
And when we close our eyes andwe just connect with this
thought like my body isbreathing me, my heart is
(12:24):
breathing me, my heart isbreathing me Right, like that is
a thought that brings so muchcalm, yes, and so much
connection to below the neck,and suddenly we can feel like
the inside of our body has threedimensions and that we are a
(12:44):
vessel.
What do you?
Kena Siu (12:44):
mean with has three dimensions and that we are a
vessel.
What do you mean with thosethree dimensions?
If we are not that connected toour bodies, we might not know.
Luce Beaulieu (12:52):
Exactly Comparatively to this very thin
veal of, you know, awarenessthat we have.
That's in front of our screenand it's like very, very thin,
yeah.
We can suddenly feel the fullvessel of our body, our body,
mind, yeah.
And so that's a very simple way.
(13:13):
And then there are moreadvanced practices, like
advanced breath work.
There's like energy cultivationin the Taoist tradition, for
example.
There can be, you know, ofcourse, pleasure practices that
can be very sensual, you know,like with the skin.
It could be like sexualpractices as well, where we
(13:34):
touch the genitals and we caneven go towards orgasm.
But that is just a slice of thefull spectrum of what is life
force, energy.
Kena Siu (13:46):
Yeah, can you explain a bit more what is somatic, what
is somatic work, because thatword has become very famous, if
I can put it that way.
You know lately, so if you cango, yeah, if you can explain us
(14:07):
what does that mean?
Luce Beaulieu (14:09):
Absolutely so.
Somatic refers to the soma, andthe soma is the body-mind
body-mind in one word, becausein recent science there is
literally no difference betweenthe body and the mind.
But we've been sort of taughtto believe and in this culture
(14:32):
there's this idea that the mindshould be controlling, should be
above the body, right?
This Judeo-Christian way of youknow thinking, of thinking, way
of you know thinking, yeah,it's coming from, you know,
hundreds of years ago, wherethere was this colonization of
people, but also thecolonization of bodies and the
(14:55):
mind.
You know, we can see it as theleader of the body.
We can also see it as theoppressor of the body, because
if we're having certain thoughts, these thoughts are going to
create biology, it's going tocreate chemistry in our body,
it's going to create hormonesand we have hormone receptors
all over our bodies.
(15:16):
It's going to create a chemical,like a chemical mix in our body
that's going to be eitherconducive to life force, energy
and pleasure or not.
It's going to be toxic for us.
So it's going to be eitherconducive to life force, energy
and pleasure or not.
It's going to be toxic for us.
So it's going to be likestressful thoughts, for example,
things like that and so allthat to say that in the most
recent scientific umpublications, there is no
(15:38):
difference between the body,mind, and so for some people who
, for example, want to go inthat direction, of there's no
separation.
They call it the Soma, and theSoma is the body, mind together.
And so when we talk aboutsomatic approaches, we talk
about approaches that includethe body and also include the
(16:00):
mind, for example, you know, asopposed to things like cognitive
behavioral therapy, which isreally just mind based mind,
uh-huh right and so one famousarea, you know, area of
expertise, of practice, iscalled somatic experiencing and
that is a really famous area ofyou know that I really love that
(16:25):
.
I harvest a lot of wisdom fromthat was started by Peter Levine
, and so in somatic experiencingwe really include the nervous
system, we include the body intothe unfurling of trauma, for
example, of trauma, for example.
So we go into the body's wisdomto really try and see like what
(16:52):
are the unresolved patterns orthe unresolved trauma that the
body-mind needs to work throughto become whole, to become
healthy again.
Kena Siu (17:00):
Oh, wow, it's very deep.
It is, yeah, and, as you said,because it's amazing how we
actually think, or we have beenprogrammed to faster than our
mind, even when we're going totake a decision, when we, you
(17:31):
know, when we get that intuitionbetween quotes, it's actually
our body telling us to react tosomething that is off.
Luce Beaulieu (17:39):
Absolutely.
And I don't know if you knowthe HeartMath Institute.
It's an amazing scientific andpractical institute.
They did a bunch of researchand they discovered that the
heart knows before the mind whensomething is going to happen.
Wow, like literal seconds andseconds is a lot, yeah.
(18:01):
Seconds before the mind is like, oh, this is going to happen.
The heart already knows.
Kena Siu (18:08):
Wow, that gave me chills, just to hear you saying
that.
Yeah, but then we leave withour minds.
So then we're going to listento the mind and we're not going
to listen to what our body istelling us.
Yeah, exactly it's telling us.
Yeah exactly what has been oneof the more I don't know like
(18:32):
relevant or blown my experiencethat you have had when
connecting more with your body.
Luce Beaulieu (18:46):
Great question when to start.
Okay, I'm just gonna talk aboutone, but there's been like so,
so, so, so many, especially withbreathwork.
A breathwork has been like areal eye and body opener, like
for me over the last three years.
But the the thing that, theexperience I would say that it
(19:10):
was about a little less than ayear and a half ago.
I was doing some practices thatwere about feeling energy and
then moving energy in the bodyand then moving energy outside
of the body, and I started doingthe practice it's a guided
practice and I was like, okay,sure, energy, I don't know
(19:34):
whatever, a little bit like that.
And I really got into theguidance.
I was really like, okay, I'mgoing to go into it.
And I really started feelingthis ball of energy moving
through me and I could actuallymove it in my body, in my arms,
(19:54):
in my legs, and eventually Ifelt that it was around me, that
I could direct it, that I couldorient it.
Yeah, that it was, it had aconsciousness and that it was in
connection with me.
And it was totally mind blown,like I was completely shocked by
(20:16):
having had this experience andand for me it was really
foundational foundationalbecause it's from that point
that I was then really able togo into the finer Taoist
practices.
One of them, which is reallyamazing for midlife women,
actually is called themicrocosmic orbit, and so what
(20:38):
you do is that you startcultivating and feeling and
visualizing this orbit of energyin your perineum, your root
chakra, and then it's like aspecific breath work where it
circulates in the back of yourbody.
It goes until the crown andthen you circulate it to the
front of the body, back down tothe root chakra, and then again
(20:59):
and again, and it's a beautiful,beautiful, very powerful
practice for life force energy.
And it was hard for me to dobefore that experience, but when
I had that experience of movingenergy, then it was so easy to
be doing that specific practiceand other ones as well.
Kena Siu (21:18):
Oh, wow, can you describe, if you can like, how
did you feel that energy that ithas like a, like a color, like
a I don't know, like a textureor how?
How could you feel that energy?
Luce Beaulieu (21:33):
Great question, and I and I know that that is
different for every person, butfor me it it definitely felt
like an orb of white, of white,going on gold light and I could
feel it kind of tingling as itwas circulating and my eyes were
(21:55):
closed, but I could see it.
I could feel it and see it atthe same time, yeah.
And I could see that it couldexpand or retract very, very
easily, very fluidly.
Yeah, okay.
Kena Siu (22:12):
I think, at least for me, has been, as you said, like
when we talk about energy.
I know everything is energy, us, every material being,
everything on earth is energyand it's difficult to recognize
(22:35):
it.
What is not in physical form?
Right like in here in front ofme, it's the laptop, it's, you
know, it's been a sofa, so allthat is also energy, but it's in
a, in a dense form, in aphysical form.
But recognize it like the wayyou experience it, and probably
that's why you said at thebeginning I bought it.
(22:55):
I bought it.
I probably would have stayed thesame, like, oh yeah, let's do
this energy, let's see what itis right, yeah, but I have also
have a few experience withfeeling energy and it's what we
really can understand oh my god,it's really there, it exists
that we until we experience it.
(23:16):
My question is because you talkabout the microcosmic orbit If
we do this practice of breath,you know, as you said, like
imagining that we're breathingthrough our first chakra all the
way back up and back throughour back and then forward, uh
(23:39):
down again, uh down to the firstchakra, like what kind of
benefits can we experience bydoing that?
I mean, I know it energizesmore, we feel more, you know
more vitality.
But then, if we put it in thematerial world, more.
(24:00):
But how can we experience?
Oh, how can have youexperienced it?
Luce Beaulieu (24:04):
uh, like that I have, um, it's part of I have
like a vast array of morningpractices and every morning, you
know, or most mornings, Ishould say, uh, I choose two to
four, depending on how much timeI actually have.
So the microcosmic orbit is oneof them, breast massage is
another one, and I've never.
(24:26):
So I can't answer you in termsof like I haven't done only
microcosmic orbit for 15 days tothe you know and nothing else.
So I can't say this isspecifically what it does.
But that practice that I do doregularly, and others as well in
the same range what I feel likeis that it refines and it
(24:54):
dissolves the things that mightbe stuck in each of my chakras.
That's like on the energy level.
And if you go into Taoistknowledge, what they say is that
there's also, so there's glandsat every single chakra.
There's a major gland in ourbody.
Okay, so I feel like and I haveno way of proving this but I
(25:18):
feel like it also really helpsthe gland to have more life
force, energy in the physicalsense, and when our glands have
energy or functioning properly,are nourished in, you know, in
other words, then our whole bodyfunctions amazingly and in
(25:38):
harmony.
And this is one of the thingsfor, specifically for midlife
women.
That's very, very important isthat once our progesterone and
estradiol starts to, to, to bemodified and to start, you know,
going down, to be modified andand to start, you know, going
down, uh, our whole bodyactually starts experiencing
(26:10):
imbalance.
So, not just the ovaries, allof our glands, yeah, because,
because all of our glands are inone vessel and they're it's as
if they're all friends, they'rea group of friends, right.
So when one friend is notfeeling well, is dysregulated,
is struggling, then all of thefriends are affected, right?
So we can also imagine thatit's nourishing, that it's
(26:43):
dissolving anything that is inthe way of each gland working in
an optimal way and in that way,as mid midlife women, it can
contribute to our overallbalance, our overall health.
It can help our energy duringthe day, it can help our sleep
(27:03):
during the night.
It's a really, really beautifulharmonizing practice.
Kena Siu (27:09):
Yeah, it sounds delicious.
Which other practices sobesides this one?
Or say you, you do so many well, some more.
And because you are the expertin here, uh, I know a lot of
women in this period, duringperimenopause, as you said,
(27:32):
because there are a lot ofhormone imbalances, then they, I
mean they don't feel good, theydon't function well.
And I cannot express yetbecause I haven't arrived there
yet, but I know just by hearingit, you know, the loss of memory
, the flashes, all this.
What other practices we can dothat it doesn't have to do with
(27:55):
medication.
Luce Beaulieu (27:58):
Yeah, great question.
And for so many women, theycan't take medication for
various reasons or they don'twant to, and so that's a great
question.
And there's so many, so manythings that women can do for
themselves.
That is not hormonalreplacement therapy, that is not
medication, that isn'tanti-anxiety meds, for example,
things like that.
(28:18):
So breathwork is absolutely anamazing, amazing tool.
Whether we're feeling reallyfatigued and we need that burst
of energy, there's lots ofbreathwork.
That is what we callup-regulating.
So if our and I'm going to get alittle geeky here, I'm going to
(28:38):
talk about the autonomicnervous system, and so the
autonomic nervous system, whenwe are in late, specifically in
late perimenopause and themenopause transition, our
autonomic nervous system is has.
We have like very narrowcapacity, which means that we
can spill over in what is calleda sympathetic state very easily
(29:01):
, sympathetic being activatedand it can go all the way to
dysregulation.
And what we want to regain ourcalm is we want to go back into
safe parasympathetic modebecause they're safe, threatened
, and so there's threatenedparasympathetic mode because
they're safe, threatened, and sothere's threatened
parasympathetic and there's safeparasympathetic.
(29:21):
So what we want, withbreathwork, is to go back into
safe parasympathetic.
And so all that to say, if weare in a parasympathetic that is
fatigued, collapsed, you know,anxiety, we're a bit frozen.
We, you know, we're having allthese anxious thoughts.
We're more like in thethreatened parasympathetic.
(29:44):
And what we want is we want tocreate a little bit of energy to
go dip into the parasympathetic, but in a way that is going to
be nourishing and energizing.
And then we want to follow thatup with another practice.
For example, it can be um?
Um a pleasure practice.
I personally always go back topleasure, because pleasure
(30:07):
overrides everything, literallypleasure and orgasms.
It overrides food, nutrition,um, any kind of other practice
that we can hope to do.
Pleasure overrides it all.
So, for example, one of thethings with women who are very
fatigued in perimenopause isthey don't have enough nitric
(30:28):
oxide in their bloodstream, andso what brings a lot of nitric
oxide is orgasms.
Okay.
So if you're fatigued andthere's many other things like
you want to check your, youriron levels, you want to check
if you have enough vitamin B,these this is more like on the
physiological side of things youwant to check if you have any
(30:52):
kind of underlying thyroidcondition, for example.
You do want to check all of that, and there's tons of really
great supplements you can take,and nitric oxide is a free
chemical that you can create foryourself when you have pleasure
and orgasm or when you'recuddling with somebody or when
(31:12):
you're doing something that isjust really pleasurable.
So all that to say that toshortcut all of that and make it
into a quick practice is youcan do that little bit of
upregulating breath work andthen you can go into some
pleasure.
And pleasure can take manyforms, and one of the things
that I love is breast massage,because our breasts are filled
(31:35):
is breast massage, because ourbreasts are filled, just so
filled with beautiful pleasurereceptors and creators, and so
when we take a little bit of oil, or it can be also above our
clothing- and we start lovingour breasts and massaging our
breasts and there's a specificway in the Taoist tradition to
do it but even just massaging,just to love them and to open
(32:00):
our heart, that's a great way tocreate a lot of oxytocin
upregulating breath work.
you do a little pause, you feelyourself and then you do a
beautiful breast massage.
Create that oxytocin, open yourheart and I can guarantee that
(32:23):
you're gonna have at least a fewhours of energy.
Kena Siu (32:25):
Yeah oh yeah, I want to specify to our listeners that
when she was showing how to dothe breast massage, it was
basically doing circles aroundour breast, yeah, like from the
outside to the inside, but Iknow we can also do it to the
(32:46):
other side right, well, so let'sget into it.
Luce Beaulieu (32:49):
So in the Taoist tradition, what we want to do is
we want to go in that direction.
First to clear the breasts ofany stagnant energy, and you
only want to do that if yourbreasts are healthy.
So if you have any suspicionthat you might have a cyst, or
you know you might havesomething with your breasts, or
(33:11):
definitely if you have breastcancer, you should probably
avoid that part.
And then the other part is tobring in the goodness, bring in
the love.
That's like the other rotation.
Kena Siu (33:24):
Okay, so first it's internal rotation and then it's
external rotation.
Luce Beaulieu (33:29):
Exactly Okay, I'm sorry.
Sorry.
The other way around, actually.
Oh, okay, external and theninternal.
External to clear and internalto bring in the goodness.
Kena Siu (33:41):
Okay, yeah, beautiful, yeah, and I love that because,
as you said, it connects us backto our heart.
Luce Beaulieu (33:50):
Exactly and our heart, like for women.
That's our positive pole.
Our negative pole is ourgenitals in our pelvic bowl.
And for men it's the contrarytheir positive pole is their
genitals and their negative poleis their heart.
Kena Siu (34:09):
I didn't know that yeah, okay, hmm, okay, hmm.
So my next question that I'mtrying to make it up in my in my
head, it will be because Iremember once I did yeah with my
(34:32):
mentor, sophia Tom, we, we willhave this kind of exercise, a
breathing exercise, where wewould just go actually from our
womb like imagining breathingfrom there up to our heart and
then back to our womb.
It was just a breath in thereand that connection is so
powerful powerful.
Luce Beaulieu (35:01):
Yes, yeah, absolutely.
That's also a practice that Ido when I want to connect my
creativity, my creatrix, and Iwant to create from my heart.
That's a beautiful practice,you know, especially in business
, when we do that, you know,whether it's a meditation or
breath work, it's a reallybeautiful practice to do before
delivering a podcast or ateaching or, you know, creating
(35:22):
a course or something like that.
That womb heart connection isfundamental.
Kena Siu (35:28):
Yeah.
Yeah, because then we stay inour feminine to create and
that's much more powerful thatcoming from our mind.
Definitely.
Luce Beaulieu (35:40):
Absolutely Always from the neck down.
Yeah.
Kena Siu (35:45):
I'm going to put that one somewhere so I can remember
it.
Luce Beaulieu (35:50):
It's a pretty good mantra.
Kena Siu (35:52):
Yes, yeah, I love it.
Okay, let's dive in more aboutsex.
Luce Beaulieu (36:01):
Okay, let's dig in.
Kena Siu (36:05):
What are some of the myths that you consider that
happen about sex when we getinto midlife and then towards
perimenopause and then menopauseLike what are kind of love of
those meats?
Luce Beaulieu (36:18):
mm-hmm.
Oh my god, so many.
You lose your libido and yourdesire.
You become dried up.
You automatically have ageneral dryness or pain during
intercourse.
You're not sexy anymore.
You're not gonna find a partner.
Oh my god, so many.
Kena Siu (36:40):
So many things about, about sex yeah, well, it doesn't
want to mention.
We just gave me chills likeit's yeah, and I mean, and the
worst thing is that we considerthem well, or at least a lot of
us uh, bomb truths and, as yousaid, yeah or not, they're just
meat absolutely, absolutely.
Yeah, it's a cultural, it's a Icall it a cultural syndrome
(37:04):
yeah, is it probably a way tocontrol or manipulate us
mentally so they can put it, putus down?
Luce Beaulieu (37:16):
well, I, I would think so, whether it's conscious
or unconscious.
Or unconscious, yeah,definitely, because when we get
to, you know menopause and thenpost-menopause, more
particularly, we are notcontrolled by our hormones
anymore, right?
And the thing that isinteresting with estradiol and
progesterone is thatprogesterone is kind of like a
(37:39):
mild sedative, so you're like alittle tiny bit of sleep, and
then estradiol is the hormone ofcaring and nurturing and
self-sacrificing and peoplepleasing, you know, like getting
along with others and thingslike that, right, yeah, if you
think of these two hormones as acarpet, all of our deepest,
(38:03):
let's say you know, deeperdesires or deeper sense of self,
our boundaries all of that iskind of like cushioned by these
hormones start disappearing.
Lo and behold, our anger canstart coming up, our realize
they are, awareness, our clarityabout so many things that have
(38:27):
been happening in our life canstart emerging into our
consciousness.
And I don't think it's a it's.
I think it's very significantthat many divorces in long-term
relationship between men andwomen occur in midlife,
initiated by women.
I think it's between 60 and 70%of divorce of long-term
(38:54):
heterosexual relationshipshappen in between 45 and 55
initiated by women.
So that's very significant.
Wow, yeah, yeah.
So to your point that you werealluding to, when we are not
controlled by our own hormones.
We are therefore uncontrolled.
(39:14):
We are therefore much more inour own self, in our own
empowerment Right, and that'swhen we start talking, and
that's when we start speakingour truth, setting our
boundaries, exactly Settingboundaries, being courageous,
(39:36):
wanting to exercise our power,wanting to be known for our
wisdom, known for work.
And that's when we become these,you know, and that's why they
call, called us the shrews andthe witches and all these things
, because they couldn't controlus, because we're not.
And so, yeah, it's absolutelybecause, when they can't control
(40:02):
us with marriage or fertilityor you know, saying like, oh,
you're never gonna find a man,and you know, like what are they
gonna control us with?
They're gonna control us withyou.
Are you no more value?
You should just disappear.
You're irrelevant, your voicedoesn't matter, all these things
(40:24):
.
And one of my mentors what shesays is anything that the
patriarchy throws at you andthat you have embedded in your
own consciousness.
That's the medicine.
That's what you have to work ondissolving, to free and
liberate yourself.
Very, very interesting work.
Kena Siu (40:45):
Yeah, wow, yeah, I've heard, I follow this guy.
He's also kind of like a coach,mentor or whatever.
He doesn't like um labels.
He's from mexico and he talksabout, yeah, women being the
first one you know, setting upfor a divorce and what you just
(41:06):
said.
It makes a lot of sense becauseit's when we start waking up
really to who we are, I mean.
And at that point we don't wantto be the mom of the husband
anymore, we don't want to haveto deal with their vices or
having to take care of all thefinancial stuff I mean, I don't
(41:28):
have kids but just being incharge of the kids, even when
this person can do it as well.
And yeah, I guess there is justa point that we just get so fed
up that we, just as you said, weget out of control between
quotes, because what I realizedis us, as women, we don't take
(41:53):
decisions radically.
It has to be.
We get signs.
We get signs.
We try to, you know, talk tothe partner and give our point
of view and then trying to putit in so many different ways and
when they don't get it after somany months or years and I'm
(42:15):
talking for my personalexperience at one point.
It's like this is it, this isit.
But it was not yesterday that Itook the decision.
It has been gradually coming in, this decision, and for me it
took me like two, three years.
And what I realized for a lotof us women then is like, yeah,
(42:41):
no, I'm done.
There's not even a way that Iwant to be bad because I'm done.
Luce Beaulieu (42:46):
I tried to tell you with many ways and you just
didn't pick up yeah, and whatyou're saying, like millions of
hundreds of millions of people,I think, have gone through that.
I've gone through that in, youknow, my ex-marriage, um and I
(43:08):
think that it comes with theterritory of being nurturers, of
being people who naturally,biologically, hormonally, we
care about relationships.
We care so much and we're built, we're wired I mean, all humans
are but for us we have an extralayer of needing to be
(43:32):
connected to others because,hormonally, estradiol is one of
our dominant hormones andestradiol is the nurturing
hormone.
Kena Siu (43:45):
Okay.
Luce Beaulieu (43:46):
Right.
And so when that hormone startsfluctuating, that's when our
brains start transforming, andthat's when as start
transforming, and that's when,as I was saying, like our fire,
our boundaries, our clarity, ourvoice starts coming up as well
yeah wow, okay.
Kena Siu (44:11):
So to our dear listeners who are in this realm
of separation and divorce, hereyou have a huge answer to,
probably, your feeling of guiltor of shame of taking the
(44:39):
decision or leaving yourrelationship.
Give it a dot, because you'renot alone and it means that it's
time for your awakening, it'stime for the midlife butterfly
to come out absolutely yeah, andthere's, there's so much.
Luce Beaulieu (44:57):
I mean, it's such a rich topic and I think that
the piece about desire andlibido and sex is also
incredibly, incredibly importantand you alluded to it a couple
of minutes ago.
It's also a big, big sign forwomen, you know, anxiety also
being another, there's many, butthe, the desire in partnership,
(45:22):
when you, when you have asexual partner, um is also a
very, very big sign that thereis not only this modification of
the hormones but themodification of our psyche, of
our body again, of our som, ofour body again, of our soma, of
our body mind.
And for a lot of women it canbe very difficult, because you
(45:44):
know some of my clients, forexample.
They come to me because theysay, oh, I've had spontaneous
desire and no problem orgasmingand all these things for their
whole lives.
And then midlife happens, around40, 45, 50.
And suddenly things are verydifficult and a part of their
(46:05):
identity could have been wovenin with this.
You know, I'm a sexual woman,I'm a woman who orgasms easily,
I'm a woman who loves pleasure,I'm a woman who loves my partner
, and suddenly they don't havespontaneous desire.
Sometimes their partneractually repels them like
(46:26):
they're, like, don't even touchme.
Even their breathing annoysthem.
You know, they're having a lotof what we call we shouldn't
call it that but what is knownas sexual dysfunction.
But I think for me it's morelike it's a sign that something
needs to be transformed, and itcan be very painful, very
(46:46):
difficult.
Kena Siu (46:51):
Yeah, because, as you said, it's part of their
identity and then, if it'sshifting, there's some
self-grief and some let go ofthat part of the person, right?
Exactly, yeah, how can we aswomen and I include myself in
(47:16):
here, because sex has been ataboo at home, like I never talk
about sex with my parents, likenever.
It was like no conversation atall, and because of that, that
created a lot of shame and guilt, right, and I know there's a
lot of women also in that howcan we release that guilt and
(47:46):
that shame that we have beenaccumulated for decades?
Luce Beaulieu (47:51):
Beautiful question.
So it's very common that aroundmidlife, women start to have
you know, again, I don't likethe term sexual dysfunction, but
these signs that sexually,something, something you know,
needs a shift.
It's going to be related tosome kind of sexual healing that
(48:17):
we need to be doing right.
So, whether it's, in some casesit's going to be sexual
violation, whether it's rape orwhether it's, you know, an event
that you didn't consent to inthe past or a series of these
kinds of events, you know, likecultural mindset about what is a
(48:38):
woman a good woman, a good girl, as it relates to sexuality, as
it relates to pleasure, as itrelates to climaxing, orgasming,
the number of partners that youmight have had, the whether
it's okay or not toself-pleasure.
All of these things start comingup in midlife actually because,
again, this beautiful carpet ofhormones has been keeping a lot
(49:01):
underneath it, so many thingsunder the carpet, so when that
carpet starts dissipating, allof these things start coming up
in the sex piece really can playa number on us.
And in my personal practice Iknow that for some of my clients
, you know there's practiceslike you know inner child
(49:24):
healing, inner reparenting, youknow going back to certain
events that might have happenedand you know being guided
through some self healing,whether it's through meditation
or through pleasure practices orthrough you know, like I have a
very specific orientation withthat, whether it's changing the
(49:46):
narrative that we have aboutcertain things.
I have like a really beautifulfour session process actually to
reclaim and then master one'ssexual energy.
It's like it's so beautiful,it's very somatic Again, it's
like very body-based and thewomen I've taken through that
(50:07):
particular four session, likeall of them, have had amazing
transformations.
Or whether it's sexual dryness,like what is your vagina trying
to tell you, right, like, why isit painful?
Do you?
What does that mean?
And to really inquire, andagain, what does she need?
(50:29):
What does your clitoris need?
What do your vaginal walls need?
Do they need more nourishment?
Do they need more energy?
Do they need slowness?
Do they need presence?
Because, again, once our sexhormones start shifting, the
urge or what we call spontaneousdesire, can become responsive
(50:52):
desire.
We can shift from I really wantsex, like actively, and I'm
actively going to go and ask mypartner, like let's have sex, to
being very responsive, likeit's not that you don't want it,
it's that you would prefer theperson to come to you or create
the conditions under which sexcan just blossom.
(51:14):
Right, instead of being more ofa yang sexuality, it becomes
more of a yin sexuality.
So what I always try to tell myclients is how can we just get
curious about what this means,what this transformation like?
What are the breadcrumbs, whatare the signs that we can start
(51:37):
connecting with?
And again, it's like thattantric approach of let's
connect, let's get intimate withthese parts, with these pieces,
and let's see what is theirwisdom.
Usually the vagina will relaxas well and we go with, like a
lot of slowness, a lot ofpresence, a lot of love of
(51:58):
course, with, you know, energynourishing these fragile,
sometimes parts.
There's just so much that wecan do with this dimension of
our life.
That's so so important forwomen?
Kena Siu (52:15):
Oh wow, it is important and unfortunately,
because of culture or foreducation, we tend to deny it or
to ignore it.
Luce Beaulieu (52:24):
Unfortunately, Absolutely and even just not
ignoring it anymore.
Just that can be very healingto the body.
More just that can be veryhealing to the body.
Even just you know, engaging in, you know whether, whether it's
coaching or whether it's umtrying to find things for that
you do for yourself, but justeven putting attention and
(52:47):
awareness and love and presenceinto that, even just that can be
so, so healing yeah, I can'trelate to.
Kena Siu (52:56):
That is when I started , when I started connecting to
my womb, to my pussy.
It's when things startedshaking, shaking, shifting,
sorry, and yeah, it's.
Yeah, it created a bigdifference because there was
something that I was ignoring.
So, just by starting, puttingattention, and then it's so wise
(53:19):
, our womb, it is so wise.
Luce Beaulieu (53:23):
Yeah, she is.
You know, our womb, all of ourgenitals and our womb.
They hold the essence of ourpower as women.
So when we start connecting tothat part of our body also is
when we start reallyreconnecting to that deep, deep,
(53:44):
deep feminine power.
Kena Siu (53:47):
Beautiful.
What a better way to finishthis thing.
With our pussies and knowingthat our power is right there.
Yes, yes, okay, dear Luz, whatwould you call this stage of
(54:08):
your midlife?
Luce Beaulieu (54:13):
So, according to one of my mentors, mentors, jane
Hardwick Cullings, who sheteaches the women's wheel of
life and the season, you knowthe women's seasons.
I, of course, I'm in my autumn,in my fall, but because I'm in
my early 50s and the autumn goesuntil the 70s, I am in the
(54:36):
spring of my autumn, the springof your autumn.
Kena Siu (54:40):
Okay, I love that.
Oh, I can imagine like flowerswith the colors of autumn.
That could be so beautiful,exactly.
Luce Beaulieu (54:50):
Exactly.
Kena Siu (54:52):
Oh, that's great.
What is a simple pleasure thatyou enjoy the most?
Luce Beaulieu (54:59):
Wow, I would say in the morning it's waking up
and putting a hand over my vulvaand really saying hello, good
morning, I love you, and justfeeling her pulsating oh my god,
I love that.
Kena Siu (55:20):
And where can the listeners find you?
Luce Beaulieu (55:26):
listeners can find me on my website,
emergenceco, my instagram handle, emergenceco, as well, and
preferably my Facebook group.
That is called menopause isyour superpower.
Welcome to the midlife temple,or midlife temple for short.
(55:47):
That is where I do most of myteaching.
I go live almost every day inthat group.
Most of my teaching.
I go live almost every day inthat group, and I have a
beautiful program right now thatis launched, because I think
this is coming out in July andwe're in June, so it's called
(56:07):
Aging with Eros.
So if anything I have saidtoday is of any kind of interest
, this is we're going to go muchdeeper into all of it during
four months, so from August toNovember to, yes, november, with
a live embodiment retreatthat's going to be occurring
(56:29):
October 2 to 5 in Ontario, andwe're I'm so excited I'm co
creating this with a colleaguewho she is in the winter of her
autumn, so we are in bothspectrums of the autumn.
She's called Linda.
She's amazing, and we are goingto be holding this space
(56:50):
together for four months, aswell as the retreat for four
months, as well as the retreat.
Kena Siu (57:02):
So, and just for your listeners, you get a special 15%
off.
Oh, wow, that is great.
I think that would be a promocode or something.
Yes, okay, I'm gonna put allthat information in the show
notes.
Thank you so much.
It has been such a nourishing,mind-opening for me and,
hopefully, down to my neck, moreexperience from now on and
(57:25):
thank you so much for being here.
I love you so much my pleasure.
Luce Beaulieu (57:29):
I love you so much.
Kena Siu (57:33):
Thank you for tuning into Midlife Butterfly.
If this episode lit a spark inyou, hit that subscribe or
follow button on Apple Podcasts,spotify or wherever you love to
listen, so you'll never missthe magic.
If you're feeling generous,drop a review on Apple Podcasts.
It helps this empoweringcontent reach more souls ready
to transform their lives.
And don't forget to take aphoto of you while listening and
(57:56):
share it on your socials.
You can tag me at KenAsYou so Ican celebrate you and your
expansion.
Until next time, keep spreadingthose wings and living in joy,
growth and pleasure.
I believe that menopause is an initiation into
power.
Midlife butterfly, a woman inthe sacred in between.
She's not who she once was andnot quite who she's becoming yet
.
She's unraveling, awakening,remembering.
She's navigating lifetransitions divorce loss,
(00:23):
reinvasion moves with a burningdesire for freedom.
Divorce loss, reinvasion moves,with a burning desire for
freedom, joy and solid living.
She feels the pull to rise, tofly.
She's no longer afraid of herown wings.
I believe that menopause is aninitiation into power.
Those are the words of our dearguest today, luz Bolu.
(00:48):
She is a transformationalpowerhouse guiding women through
the sacred portal of menopause.
She is a certified coach,social transformation specialist
, feminist and innovator.
Luz brings her lived wisdom tothe table with heart and heat,
and I am proof of that.
Now, at 52, she's on the otherside of the menopause transition
(01:12):
and she's here to tell thetruth.
It's not the end, it's arebirth.
Her journey through marriage,divorce, motherhood and
awakening in a deeply satisfyingand hot love life has shaped
her mission to help women movethrough perimenopause with
dignity, empowerment and joy.
(01:33):
For loose menopause crack heropen not just physically but
spiritually.
It became a getaway to wisdom,deeper intimacy, conscious love,
financial and meaningful work.
She now helps women embracethis rite of passage as a
powerful initiation into theirmost authentic, embodied selves.
(01:55):
It's such a pleasure to haveyou here, sister.
Luce Beaulieu (02:01):
Thank you so much , sister.
Kena Siu (02:03):
thank you so much, sister.
Well, first of all I want youto add something else to that
bio that I just read, if youwant to tell a little bit about
your story, where you are now,what was before, what you are
now, before we dive in into moreabout the topics of tantra and
(02:26):
sexuality in midlife.
Luce Beaulieu (02:29):
Yeah, so I realized that the bio that I
wrote was actually before my53rd birthday, so I'm actually
53.
Okay, so I'm two and a halfyears post menopause and my
menopause transition was a realinitiation.
And the initiation how can Iput it?
(02:55):
Blueprint for women.
The feminine initiation, inother words, is about really
going deep.
So if anybody's looking at us,or if you're not, actually not
looking at us, it's a U-shapedshape.
So you basically go down andthen you go up, so you have to
(03:18):
go down before you go up again,whereas the hero's journey, so
which is more masculine is goingon a quest and discovering
yourself through hardships andthings like that.
But for us it's this U-shapedwhere we go really, really deep
in the underworld.
We die, we have some kind of anidentity, death, and once we
(03:42):
rebirth, we reawaken, then wecan become transformed and we
can have another identity.
So that was my case with mymenopause initiation, which was
about three years ago, and eversince then, when I have
reemerged, completelytransformed, I realized that my
mission was really to help womenin midlife reawaken, rediscover
(04:07):
their true feminine power.
Kena Siu (04:12):
Yes, we are all here for empowerment, that's for sure
.
I love that.
I love that because I think,because of the patriarchy is
considered something bad betweenquotes, and, as you said, I do
believe it's a rebirth and it'sso fucking powerful because we
(04:32):
know ourselves better as midlife.
So, having the knowledge thatyou have, that's what I want you
to share more in here.
It's being actually morepowerful as a woman.
Yes, yeah, absolutely yeah.
(04:53):
Okay, let's start with what isactually tantra.
Luce Beaulieu (05:13):
What is Tantra?
The eternal question.
Tantra is basically a spiritualpath that was originally
developed for everyday people,so it's a spiritual path for the
people who are not therenunciates.
So the renunciates were thepeople who chose to be priests
or priestesses or nuns or monksor you know all of these things.
And Tantra, of course, in India, was the path for the everyday
(05:37):
man or woman, right, and soTantra could be done as a person
who is married, with childrenbeing in life, and so this is
really the essence, and what Ilove about Tantra is that
everything is included, rightDark and light, anger and joy,
(05:58):
ecstasy and horrific pain, andeverything in between these
different poles as well.
And so the practice, because Idon't consider myself a tantrica
.
I'm not trained enough to sayI'm a tantrica, but I approach
life and I definitely approachguiding and coaching women with
(06:20):
a tantric approach, and so whatthat means is that, and also a
shamanic approach to life, tomidlife, to relationships, to
self-love, to sexuality, to thebody, to all these things, and
so what that means essentiallyis that it's important to become
(06:43):
intimate with the things thatwe experience.
So if I'm experiencingsomething like shame, then how
can I meet shame and how can Iget intimate with shame?
And then how can I feel shameto be able to process it, to go
through it, instead of resistingand hiding myself from it.
(07:04):
So it's about getting intimatewith every single emotion, every
single part of us, so that wecan experience all of life
because, again, all is included.
And if we go a little bit deeperinto tantric tools or tantric
approaches, there's differentpillars to tantra.
The first one is presence.
So to be fully present is avery, you know, tantric thing to
(07:29):
do, especially in intimacy witha partner.
Then the breath is absolutelyfundamental.
Energy as well is fundamental.
And then what we call lifeforce, energy, even more
specifically, when we're talkingabout, you know, sexuality and
orgasm, and what we also calleros is also, you know, all of
(07:53):
it is energy.
Kena Siu (07:54):
Right, and you know, yeah, sorry, yeah, because I
think, at least me, I relatedmore only with that life force,
energy that you're saying, withsexuality, when, when we hear
about tantra, I don't knowwhat's the perception of other
people, but at least how I haveperceived it is usually just
focused on that and now thatyou're saying it has pillars, it
(08:19):
presents breath and energy,then I can say I'm in the
tantric part, the last part, weget in there, but eventually.
But okay, so thank you forspecifying that, because it's I
mean, as you said, it involveseverything and it can become a
(08:39):
lifestyle for what I understandthat you are saying.
Luce Beaulieu (08:43):
Absolutely, and it's.
It's something that can infuseevery single part of life,
whether it's sexuality or doingthe dishes, or how you wake up
in the morning, how you choose,what you choose to cultivate,
what you pay attention to.
So, again, you know presence,what you, what you cultivate in
(09:04):
terms of the energy, thethoughts, the emotions.
You know that can be tantric,it can also be very shamanic, um
, and essentially it all boilsdown to anything that is very
close to the earth.
So, like earth-basedspirituality, yeah okay, that
makes sense.
Kena Siu (09:24):
I mean, you're very grounded and I know you're super
, you know you love the nature,the elements and all here.
So it makes sense that, uh,that's a good combination of
knowledge that you have.
Ah, gain, because, yeah, that'syou, thank you.
Um, so, in a way of the tantra,again coming back to that, if
(09:53):
we dive a little bit more intothat life, life force, energy,
how can women connect to theirown pleasure without well, it
could be with a partner andwithout having a partner?
Luce Beaulieu (10:11):
and I'm guessing like specifically women in
midlife going throughperimenopause menopause yeah
exactly, yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's an excellent, excellent,very, very big question.
Um, which could be, you know,three days of of courses and
(10:32):
workshops.
Uh, the short answer, I think,is in any way that's available,
right?
So that can mean, um, I closemy eyes and I connect to my
breath for five minutes.
It can be I'm just going toturn around and look at my plant
(10:53):
for 30 seconds, just to havelike a little bit of a pause and
to feel into my body.
The most, I would say the mostimportant thing is to start
feeling into what is below theneck, because we live very in
our heads yes, Right, yeah, Ilove you specifying that because
(11:14):
, yeah, that's so true.
Kena Siu (11:15):
We live in our heads.
Luce Beaulieu (11:16):
Yeah, we live in our heads and also we live in
front and in our screens.
Yeah, and in our screens, yeah.
So, in fact, if, if, if we arekind of, if we were to draw a
picture of how we live, it'slike one millimeter deep in
front of our face and from theneck, from the chin up.
That is so sad.
(11:38):
Right, it is, yeah, and yetthere's so much more.
There's the body.
There's all the somaticsensations inside of the body.
That is life force, energy.
So when women come to me likeyou know new clients, and
they're like I don't know aboutthis somatic thing, I'm not
really good with my body, like Idon't know how this works, and
(12:02):
they feel intimidated and I justbreathe because you are being
breathed Literally, you don'thave to decide anything.
Your body is breathing youevery single day.
And when we close our eyes andwe just connect with this
thought like my body isbreathing me, my heart is
(12:24):
breathing me, my heart isbreathing me Right, like that is
a thought that brings so muchcalm, yes, and so much
connection to below the neck,and suddenly we can feel like
the inside of our body has threedimensions and that we are a
(12:44):
vessel.
What do you?
Kena Siu (12:44):
mean with has three dimensions and that we are a
vessel.
What do you mean with thosethree dimensions?
If we are not that connected toour bodies, we might not know.
Luce Beaulieu (12:52):
Exactly Comparatively to this very thin
veal of, you know, awarenessthat we have.
That's in front of our screenand it's like very, very thin,
yeah.
We can suddenly feel the fullvessel of our body, our body,
mind, yeah.
And so that's a very simple way.
(13:13):
And then there are moreadvanced practices, like
advanced breath work.
There's like energy cultivationin the Taoist tradition, for
example.
There can be, you know, ofcourse, pleasure practices that
can be very sensual, you know,like with the skin.
It could be like sexualpractices as well, where we
(13:34):
touch the genitals and we caneven go towards orgasm.
But that is just a slice of thefull spectrum of what is life
force, energy.
Kena Siu (13:46):
Yeah, can you explain a bit more what is somatic, what
is somatic work, because thatword has become very famous, if
I can put it that way.
You know lately, so if you cango, yeah, if you can explain us
(14:07):
what does that mean?
Luce Beaulieu (14:09):
Absolutely so.
Somatic refers to the soma, andthe soma is the body-mind
body-mind in one word, becausein recent science there is
literally no difference betweenthe body and the mind.
But we've been sort of taughtto believe and in this culture
(14:32):
there's this idea that the mindshould be controlling, should be
above the body, right?
This Judeo-Christian way of youknow thinking, of thinking, way
of you know thinking, yeah,it's coming from, you know,
hundreds of years ago, wherethere was this colonization of
people, but also thecolonization of bodies and the
(14:55):
mind.
You know, we can see it as theleader of the body.
We can also see it as theoppressor of the body, because
if we're having certain thoughts, these thoughts are going to
create biology, it's going tocreate chemistry in our body,
it's going to create hormonesand we have hormone receptors
all over our bodies.
(15:16):
It's going to create a chemical,like a chemical mix in our body
that's going to be eitherconducive to life force, energy
and pleasure or not.
It's going to be toxic for us.
So it's going to be eitherconducive to life force, energy
and pleasure or not.
It's going to be toxic for us.
So it's going to be likestressful thoughts, for example,
things like that and so allthat to say that in the most
recent scientific umpublications, there is no
(15:38):
difference between the body,mind, and so for some people who
, for example, want to go inthat direction, of there's no
separation.
They call it the Soma, and theSoma is the body, mind together.
And so when we talk aboutsomatic approaches, we talk
about approaches that includethe body and also include the
(16:00):
mind, for example, you know, asopposed to things like cognitive
behavioral therapy, which isreally just mind based mind,
uh-huh right and so one famousarea, you know, area of
expertise, of practice, iscalled somatic experiencing and
that is a really famous area ofyou know that I really love that
(16:25):
.
I harvest a lot of wisdom fromthat was started by Peter Levine
, and so in somatic experiencingwe really include the nervous
system, we include the body intothe unfurling of trauma, for
example, of trauma, for example.
So we go into the body's wisdomto really try and see like what
(16:52):
are the unresolved patterns orthe unresolved trauma that the
body-mind needs to work throughto become whole, to become
healthy again.
Kena Siu (17:00):
Oh, wow, it's very deep.
It is, yeah, and, as you said,because it's amazing how we
actually think, or we have beenprogrammed to faster than our
mind, even when we're going totake a decision, when we, you
(17:31):
know, when we get that intuitionbetween quotes, it's actually
our body telling us to react tosomething that is off.
Luce Beaulieu (17:39):
Absolutely.
And I don't know if you knowthe HeartMath Institute.
It's an amazing scientific andpractical institute.
They did a bunch of researchand they discovered that the
heart knows before the mind whensomething is going to happen.
Wow, like literal seconds andseconds is a lot, yeah.
(18:01):
Seconds before the mind is like, oh, this is going to happen.
The heart already knows.
Kena Siu (18:08):
Wow, that gave me chills, just to hear you saying
that.
Yeah, but then we leave withour minds.
So then we're going to listento the mind and we're not going
to listen to what our body istelling us.
Yeah, exactly it's telling us.
Yeah exactly what has been oneof the more I don't know like
(18:32):
relevant or blown my experiencethat you have had when
connecting more with your body.
Luce Beaulieu (18:46):
Great question when to start.
Okay, I'm just gonna talk aboutone, but there's been like so,
so, so, so many, especially withbreathwork.
A breathwork has been like areal eye and body opener, like
for me over the last three years.
But the the thing that, theexperience I would say that it
(19:10):
was about a little less than ayear and a half ago.
I was doing some practices thatwere about feeling energy and
then moving energy in the bodyand then moving energy outside
of the body, and I started doingthe practice it's a guided
practice and I was like, okay,sure, energy, I don't know
(19:34):
whatever, a little bit like that.
And I really got into theguidance.
I was really like, okay, I'mgoing to go into it.
And I really started feelingthis ball of energy moving
through me and I could actuallymove it in my body, in my arms,
(19:54):
in my legs, and eventually Ifelt that it was around me, that
I could direct it, that I couldorient it.
Yeah, that it was, it had aconsciousness and that it was in
connection with me.
And it was totally mind blown,like I was completely shocked by
(20:16):
having had this experience andand for me it was really
foundational foundationalbecause it's from that point
that I was then really able togo into the finer Taoist
practices.
One of them, which is reallyamazing for midlife women,
actually is called themicrocosmic orbit, and so what
(20:38):
you do is that you startcultivating and feeling and
visualizing this orbit of energyin your perineum, your root
chakra, and then it's like aspecific breath work where it
circulates in the back of yourbody.
It goes until the crown andthen you circulate it to the
front of the body, back down tothe root chakra, and then again
(20:59):
and again, and it's a beautiful,beautiful, very powerful
practice for life force energy.
And it was hard for me to dobefore that experience, but when
I had that experience of movingenergy, then it was so easy to
be doing that specific practiceand other ones as well.
Kena Siu (21:18):
Oh, wow, can you describe, if you can like, how
did you feel that energy that ithas like a, like a color, like
a I don't know, like a textureor how?
How could you feel that energy?
Luce Beaulieu (21:33):
Great question, and I and I know that that is
different for every person, butfor me it it definitely felt
like an orb of white, of white,going on gold light and I could
feel it kind of tingling as itwas circulating and my eyes were
(21:55):
closed, but I could see it.
I could feel it and see it atthe same time, yeah.
And I could see that it couldexpand or retract very, very
easily, very fluidly.
Yeah, okay.
Kena Siu (22:12):
I think, at least for me, has been, as you said, like
when we talk about energy.
I know everything is energy, us, every material being,
everything on earth is energyand it's difficult to recognize
(22:35):
it.
What is not in physical form?
Right like in here in front ofme, it's the laptop, it's, you
know, it's been a sofa, so allthat is also energy, but it's in
a, in a dense form, in aphysical form.
But recognize it like the wayyou experience it, and probably
that's why you said at thebeginning I bought it.
(22:55):
I bought it.
I probably would have stayed thesame, like, oh yeah, let's do
this energy, let's see what itis right, yeah, but I have also
have a few experience withfeeling energy and it's what we
really can understand oh my god,it's really there, it exists
that we until we experience it.
(23:16):
My question is because you talkabout the microcosmic orbit If
we do this practice of breath,you know, as you said, like
imagining that we're breathingthrough our first chakra all the
way back up and back throughour back and then forward, uh
(23:39):
down again, uh down to the firstchakra, like what kind of
benefits can we experience bydoing that?
I mean, I know it energizesmore, we feel more, you know
more vitality.
But then, if we put it in thematerial world, more.
(24:00):
But how can we experience?
Oh, how can have youexperienced it?
Luce Beaulieu (24:04):
uh, like that I have, um, it's part of I have
like a vast array of morningpractices and every morning, you
know, or most mornings, Ishould say, uh, I choose two to
four, depending on how much timeI actually have.
So the microcosmic orbit is oneof them, breast massage is
another one, and I've never.
(24:26):
So I can't answer you in termsof like I haven't done only
microcosmic orbit for 15 days tothe you know and nothing else.
So I can't say this isspecifically what it does.
But that practice that I do doregularly, and others as well in
the same range what I feel likeis that it refines and it
(24:54):
dissolves the things that mightbe stuck in each of my chakras.
That's like on the energy level.
And if you go into Taoistknowledge, what they say is that
there's also, so there's glandsat every single chakra.
There's a major gland in ourbody.
Okay, so I feel like and I haveno way of proving this but I
(25:18):
feel like it also really helpsthe gland to have more life
force, energy in the physicalsense, and when our glands have
energy or functioning properly,are nourished in, you know, in
other words, then our whole bodyfunctions amazingly and in
(25:38):
harmony.
And this is one of the thingsfor, specifically for midlife
women.
That's very, very important isthat once our progesterone and
estradiol starts to, to, to bemodified and to start, you know,
going down, to be modified andand to start, you know, going
down, uh, our whole bodyactually starts experiencing
(26:10):
imbalance.
So, not just the ovaries, allof our glands, yeah, because,
because all of our glands are inone vessel and they're it's as
if they're all friends, they'rea group of friends, right.
So when one friend is notfeeling well, is dysregulated,
is struggling, then all of thefriends are affected, right?
So we can also imagine thatit's nourishing, that it's
(26:43):
dissolving anything that is inthe way of each gland working in
an optimal way and in that way,as mid midlife women, it can
contribute to our overallbalance, our overall health.
It can help our energy duringthe day, it can help our sleep
(27:03):
during the night.
It's a really, really beautifulharmonizing practice.
Kena Siu (27:09):
Yeah, it sounds delicious.
Which other practices sobesides this one?
Or say you, you do so many well, some more.
And because you are the expertin here, uh, I know a lot of
women in this period, duringperimenopause, as you said,
(27:32):
because there are a lot ofhormone imbalances, then they, I
mean they don't feel good, theydon't function well.
And I cannot express yetbecause I haven't arrived there
yet, but I know just by hearingit, you know, the loss of memory
, the flashes, all this.
What other practices we can dothat it doesn't have to do with
(27:55):
medication.
Luce Beaulieu (27:58):
Yeah, great question.
And for so many women, theycan't take medication for
various reasons or they don'twant to, and so that's a great
question.
And there's so many, so manythings that women can do for
themselves.
That is not hormonalreplacement therapy, that is not
medication, that isn'tanti-anxiety meds, for example,
things like that.
(28:18):
So breathwork is absolutely anamazing, amazing tool.
Whether we're feeling reallyfatigued and we need that burst
of energy, there's lots ofbreathwork.
That is what we callup-regulating.
So if our and I'm going to get alittle geeky here, I'm going to
(28:38):
talk about the autonomicnervous system, and so the
autonomic nervous system, whenwe are in late, specifically in
late perimenopause and themenopause transition, our
autonomic nervous system is has.
We have like very narrowcapacity, which means that we
can spill over in what is calleda sympathetic state very easily
(29:01):
, sympathetic being activatedand it can go all the way to
dysregulation.
And what we want to regain ourcalm is we want to go back into
safe parasympathetic modebecause they're safe, threatened
, and so there's threatenedparasympathetic mode because
they're safe, threatened, and sothere's threatened
parasympathetic and there's safeparasympathetic.
(29:21):
So what we want, withbreathwork, is to go back into
safe parasympathetic.
And so all that to say, if weare in a parasympathetic that is
fatigued, collapsed, you know,anxiety, we're a bit frozen.
We, you know, we're having allthese anxious thoughts.
We're more like in thethreatened parasympathetic.
(29:44):
And what we want is we want tocreate a little bit of energy to
go dip into the parasympathetic, but in a way that is going to
be nourishing and energizing.
And then we want to follow thatup with another practice.
For example, it can be um?
Um a pleasure practice.
I personally always go back topleasure, because pleasure
(30:07):
overrides everything, literallypleasure and orgasms.
It overrides food, nutrition,um, any kind of other practice
that we can hope to do.
Pleasure overrides it all.
So, for example, one of thethings with women who are very
fatigued in perimenopause isthey don't have enough nitric
(30:28):
oxide in their bloodstream, andso what brings a lot of nitric
oxide is orgasms.
Okay.
So if you're fatigued andthere's many other things like
you want to check your, youriron levels, you want to check
if you have enough vitamin B,these this is more like on the
physiological side of things youwant to check if you have any
(30:52):
kind of underlying thyroidcondition, for example.
You do want to check all of that, and there's tons of really
great supplements you can take,and nitric oxide is a free
chemical that you can create foryourself when you have pleasure
and orgasm or when you'recuddling with somebody or when
(31:12):
you're doing something that isjust really pleasurable.
So all that to say that toshortcut all of that and make it
into a quick practice is youcan do that little bit of
upregulating breath work andthen you can go into some
pleasure.
And pleasure can take manyforms, and one of the things
that I love is breast massage,because our breasts are filled
(31:35):
is breast massage, because ourbreasts are filled, just so
filled with beautiful pleasurereceptors and creators, and so
when we take a little bit of oil, or it can be also above our
clothing- and we start lovingour breasts and massaging our
breasts and there's a specificway in the Taoist tradition to
do it but even just massaging,just to love them and to open
(32:00):
our heart, that's a great way tocreate a lot of oxytocin
upregulating breath work.
you do a little pause, you feelyourself and then you do a
beautiful breast massage.
Create that oxytocin, open yourheart and I can guarantee that
(32:23):
you're gonna have at least a fewhours of energy.
Kena Siu (32:25):
Yeah oh yeah, I want to specify to our listeners that
when she was showing how to dothe breast massage, it was
basically doing circles aroundour breast, yeah, like from the
outside to the inside, but Iknow we can also do it to the
(32:46):
other side right, well, so let'sget into it.
Luce Beaulieu (32:49):
So in the Taoist tradition, what we want to do is
we want to go in that direction.
First to clear the breasts ofany stagnant energy, and you
only want to do that if yourbreasts are healthy.
So if you have any suspicionthat you might have a cyst, or
you know you might havesomething with your breasts, or
(33:11):
definitely if you have breastcancer, you should probably
avoid that part.
And then the other part is tobring in the goodness, bring in
the love.
That's like the other rotation.
Kena Siu (33:24):
Okay, so first it's internal rotation and then it's
external rotation.
Luce Beaulieu (33:29):
Exactly Okay, I'm sorry.
Sorry.
The other way around, actually.
Oh, okay, external and theninternal.
External to clear and internalto bring in the goodness.
Kena Siu (33:41):
Okay, yeah, beautiful, yeah, and I love that because,
as you said, it connects us backto our heart.
Luce Beaulieu (33:50):
Exactly and our heart, like for women.
That's our positive pole.
Our negative pole is ourgenitals in our pelvic bowl.
And for men it's the contrarytheir positive pole is their
genitals and their negative poleis their heart.
Kena Siu (34:09):
I didn't know that yeah, okay, hmm, okay, hmm.
So my next question that I'mtrying to make it up in my in my
head, it will be because Iremember once I did yeah with my
(34:32):
mentor, sophia Tom, we, we willhave this kind of exercise, a
breathing exercise, where wewould just go actually from our
womb like imagining breathingfrom there up to our heart and
then back to our womb.
It was just a breath in thereand that connection is so
powerful powerful.
Luce Beaulieu (35:01):
Yes, yeah, absolutely.
That's also a practice that Ido when I want to connect my
creativity, my creatrix, and Iwant to create from my heart.
That's a beautiful practice,you know, especially in business
, when we do that, you know,whether it's a meditation or
breath work, it's a reallybeautiful practice to do before
delivering a podcast or ateaching or, you know, creating
(35:22):
a course or something like that.
That womb heart connection isfundamental.
Kena Siu (35:28):
Yeah.
Yeah, because then we stay inour feminine to create and
that's much more powerful thatcoming from our mind.
Definitely.
Luce Beaulieu (35:40):
Absolutely Always from the neck down.
Yeah.
Kena Siu (35:45):
I'm going to put that one somewhere so I can remember
it.
Luce Beaulieu (35:50):
It's a pretty good mantra.
Kena Siu (35:52):
Yes, yeah, I love it.
Okay, let's dive in more aboutsex.
Luce Beaulieu (36:01):
Okay, let's dig in.
Kena Siu (36:05):
What are some of the myths that you consider that
happen about sex when we getinto midlife and then towards
perimenopause and then menopauseLike what are kind of love of
those meats?
Luce Beaulieu (36:18):
mm-hmm.
Oh my god, so many.
You lose your libido and yourdesire.
You become dried up.
You automatically have ageneral dryness or pain during
intercourse.
You're not sexy anymore.
You're not gonna find a partner.
Oh my god, so many.
Kena Siu (36:40):
So many things about, about sex yeah, well, it doesn't
want to mention.
We just gave me chills likeit's yeah, and I mean, and the
worst thing is that we considerthem well, or at least a lot of
us uh, bomb truths and, as yousaid, yeah or not, they're just
meat absolutely, absolutely.
Yeah, it's a cultural, it's a Icall it a cultural syndrome
(37:04):
yeah, is it probably a way tocontrol or manipulate us
mentally so they can put it, putus down?
Luce Beaulieu (37:16):
well, I, I would think so, whether it's conscious
or unconscious.
Or unconscious, yeah,definitely, because when we get
to, you know menopause and thenpost-menopause, more
particularly, we are notcontrolled by our hormones
anymore, right?
And the thing that isinteresting with estradiol and
progesterone is thatprogesterone is kind of like a
(37:39):
mild sedative, so you're like alittle tiny bit of sleep, and
then estradiol is the hormone ofcaring and nurturing and
self-sacrificing and peoplepleasing, you know, like getting
along with others and thingslike that, right, yeah, if you
think of these two hormones as acarpet, all of our deepest,
(38:03):
let's say you know, deeperdesires or deeper sense of self,
our boundaries all of that iskind of like cushioned by these
hormones start disappearing.
Lo and behold, our anger canstart coming up, our realize
they are, awareness, our clarityabout so many things that have
(38:27):
been happening in our life canstart emerging into our
consciousness.
And I don't think it's a it's.
I think it's very significantthat many divorces in long-term
relationship between men andwomen occur in midlife,
initiated by women.
I think it's between 60 and 70%of divorce of long-term
(38:54):
heterosexual relationshipshappen in between 45 and 55
initiated by women.
So that's very significant.
Wow, yeah, yeah.
So to your point that you werealluding to, when we are not
controlled by our own hormones.
We are therefore uncontrolled.
(39:14):
We are therefore much more inour own self, in our own
empowerment Right, and that'swhen we start talking, and
that's when we start speakingour truth, setting our
boundaries, exactly Settingboundaries, being courageous,
(39:36):
wanting to exercise our power,wanting to be known for our
wisdom, known for work.
And that's when we become these,you know, and that's why they
call, called us the shrews andthe witches and all these things
, because they couldn't controlus, because we're not.
And so, yeah, it's absolutelybecause, when they can't control
(40:02):
us with marriage or fertilityor you know, saying like, oh,
you're never gonna find a man,and you know, like what are they
gonna control us with?
They're gonna control us withyou.
Are you no more value?
You should just disappear.
You're irrelevant, your voicedoesn't matter, all these things
(40:24):
.
And one of my mentors what shesays is anything that the
patriarchy throws at you andthat you have embedded in your
own consciousness.
That's the medicine.
That's what you have to work ondissolving, to free and
liberate yourself.
Very, very interesting work.
Kena Siu (40:45):
Yeah, wow, yeah, I've heard, I follow this guy.
He's also kind of like a coach,mentor or whatever.
He doesn't like um labels.
He's from mexico and he talksabout, yeah, women being the
first one you know, setting upfor a divorce and what you just
(41:06):
said.
It makes a lot of sense becauseit's when we start waking up
really to who we are, I mean.
And at that point we don't wantto be the mom of the husband
anymore, we don't want to haveto deal with their vices or
having to take care of all thefinancial stuff I mean, I don't
(41:28):
have kids but just being incharge of the kids, even when
this person can do it as well.
And yeah, I guess there is justa point that we just get so fed
up that we, just as you said, weget out of control between
quotes, because what I realizedis us, as women, we don't take
(41:53):
decisions radically.
It has to be.
We get signs.
We get signs.
We try to, you know, talk tothe partner and give our point
of view and then trying to putit in so many different ways and
when they don't get it after somany months or years and I'm
(42:15):
talking for my personalexperience at one point.
It's like this is it, this isit.
But it was not yesterday that Itook the decision.
It has been gradually coming in, this decision, and for me it
took me like two, three years.
And what I realized for a lotof us women then is like, yeah,
(42:41):
no, I'm done.
There's not even a way that Iwant to be bad because I'm done.
Luce Beaulieu (42:46):
I tried to tell you with many ways and you just
didn't pick up yeah, and whatyou're saying, like millions of
hundreds of millions of people,I think, have gone through that.
I've gone through that in, youknow, my ex-marriage, um and I
(43:08):
think that it comes with theterritory of being nurturers, of
being people who naturally,biologically, hormonally, we
care about relationships.
We care so much and we're built, we're wired I mean, all humans
are but for us we have an extralayer of needing to be
(43:32):
connected to others because,hormonally, estradiol is one of
our dominant hormones andestradiol is the nurturing
hormone.
Kena Siu (43:45):
Okay.
Luce Beaulieu (43:46):
Right.
And so when that hormone startsfluctuating, that's when our
brains start transforming, andthat's when as start
transforming, and that's when,as I was saying, like our fire,
our boundaries, our clarity, ourvoice starts coming up as well
yeah wow, okay.
Kena Siu (44:11):
So to our dear listeners who are in this realm
of separation and divorce, hereyou have a huge answer to,
probably, your feeling of guiltor of shame of taking the
(44:39):
decision or leaving yourrelationship.
Give it a dot, because you'renot alone and it means that it's
time for your awakening, it'stime for the midlife butterfly
to come out absolutely yeah, andthere's, there's so much.
Luce Beaulieu (44:57):
I mean, it's such a rich topic and I think that
the piece about desire andlibido and sex is also
incredibly, incredibly importantand you alluded to it a couple
of minutes ago.
It's also a big, big sign forwomen, you know, anxiety also
being another, there's many, butthe, the desire in partnership,
(45:22):
when you, when you have asexual partner, um is also a
very, very big sign that thereis not only this modification of
the hormones but themodification of our psyche, of
our body again, of our som, ofour body again, of our soma, of
our body mind.
And for a lot of women it canbe very difficult, because you
(45:44):
know some of my clients, forexample.
They come to me because theysay, oh, I've had spontaneous
desire and no problem orgasmingand all these things for their
whole lives.
And then midlife happens, around40, 45, 50.
And suddenly things are verydifficult and a part of their
(46:05):
identity could have been wovenin with this.
You know, I'm a sexual woman,I'm a woman who orgasms easily,
I'm a woman who loves pleasure,I'm a woman who loves my partner
, and suddenly they don't havespontaneous desire.
Sometimes their partneractually repels them like
(46:26):
they're, like, don't even touchme.
Even their breathing annoysthem.
You know, they're having a lotof what we call we shouldn't
call it that but what is knownas sexual dysfunction.
But I think for me it's morelike it's a sign that something
needs to be transformed, and itcan be very painful, very
(46:46):
difficult.
Kena Siu (46:51):
Yeah, because, as you said, it's part of their
identity and then, if it'sshifting, there's some
self-grief and some let go ofthat part of the person, right?
Exactly, yeah, how can we aswomen and I include myself in
(47:16):
here, because sex has been ataboo at home, like I never talk
about sex with my parents, likenever.
It was like no conversation atall, and because of that, that
created a lot of shame and guilt, right, and I know there's a
lot of women also in that howcan we release that guilt and
(47:46):
that shame that we have beenaccumulated for decades?
Luce Beaulieu (47:51):
Beautiful question.
So it's very common that aroundmidlife, women start to have
you know, again, I don't likethe term sexual dysfunction, but
these signs that sexually,something, something you know,
needs a shift.
It's going to be related tosome kind of sexual healing that
(48:17):
we need to be doing right.
So, whether it's, in some casesit's going to be sexual
violation, whether it's rape orwhether it's, you know, an event
that you didn't consent to inthe past or a series of these
kinds of events, you know, likecultural mindset about what is a
(48:38):
woman a good woman, a good girl, as it relates to sexuality, as
it relates to pleasure, as itrelates to climaxing, orgasming,
the number of partners that youmight have had, the whether
it's okay or not toself-pleasure.
All of these things start comingup in midlife actually because,
again, this beautiful carpet ofhormones has been keeping a lot
(49:01):
underneath it, so many thingsunder the carpet, so when that
carpet starts dissipating, allof these things start coming up
in the sex piece really can playa number on us.
And in my personal practice Iknow that for some of my clients
, you know there's practiceslike you know inner child
(49:24):
healing, inner reparenting, youknow going back to certain
events that might have happenedand you know being guided
through some self healing,whether it's through meditation
or through pleasure practices orthrough you know, like I have a
very specific orientation withthat, whether it's changing the
(49:46):
narrative that we have aboutcertain things.
I have like a really beautifulfour session process actually to
reclaim and then master one'ssexual energy.
It's like it's so beautiful,it's very somatic Again, it's
like very body-based and thewomen I've taken through that
(50:07):
particular four session, likeall of them, have had amazing
transformations.
Or whether it's sexual dryness,like what is your vagina trying
to tell you, right, like, why isit painful?
Do you?
What does that mean?
And to really inquire, andagain, what does she need?
(50:29):
What does your clitoris need?
What do your vaginal walls need?
Do they need more nourishment?
Do they need more energy?
Do they need slowness?
Do they need presence?
Because, again, once our sexhormones start shifting, the
urge or what we call spontaneousdesire, can become responsive
(50:52):
desire.
We can shift from I really wantsex, like actively, and I'm
actively going to go and ask mypartner, like let's have sex, to
being very responsive, likeit's not that you don't want it,
it's that you would prefer theperson to come to you or create
the conditions under which sexcan just blossom.
(51:14):
Right, instead of being more ofa yang sexuality, it becomes
more of a yin sexuality.
So what I always try to tell myclients is how can we just get
curious about what this means,what this transformation like?
What are the breadcrumbs, whatare the signs that we can start
(51:37):
connecting with?
And again, it's like thattantric approach of let's
connect, let's get intimate withthese parts, with these pieces,
and let's see what is theirwisdom.
Usually the vagina will relaxas well and we go with, like a
lot of slowness, a lot ofpresence, a lot of love of
(51:58):
course, with, you know, energynourishing these fragile,
sometimes parts.
There's just so much that wecan do with this dimension of
our life.
That's so so important forwomen?
Kena Siu (52:15):
Oh wow, it is important and unfortunately,
because of culture or foreducation, we tend to deny it or
to ignore it.
Luce Beaulieu (52:24):
Unfortunately, Absolutely and even just not
ignoring it anymore.
Just that can be very healingto the body.
More just that can be veryhealing to the body.
Even just you know, engaging in, you know whether, whether it's
coaching or whether it's umtrying to find things for that
you do for yourself, but justeven putting attention and
(52:47):
awareness and love and presenceinto that, even just that can be
so, so healing yeah, I can'trelate to.
Kena Siu (52:56):
That is when I started , when I started connecting to
my womb, to my pussy.
It's when things startedshaking, shaking, shifting,
sorry, and yeah, it's.
Yeah, it created a bigdifference because there was
something that I was ignoring.
So, just by starting, puttingattention, and then it's so wise
(53:19):
, our womb, it is so wise.
Luce Beaulieu (53:23):
Yeah, she is.
You know, our womb, all of ourgenitals and our womb.
They hold the essence of ourpower as women.
So when we start connecting tothat part of our body also is
when we start reallyreconnecting to that deep, deep,
(53:44):
deep feminine power.
Kena Siu (53:47):
Beautiful.
What a better way to finishthis thing.
With our pussies and knowingthat our power is right there.
Yes, yes, okay, dear Luz, whatwould you call this stage of
(54:08):
your midlife?
Luce Beaulieu (54:13):
So, according to one of my mentors, mentors, jane
Hardwick Cullings, who sheteaches the women's wheel of
life and the season, you knowthe women's seasons.
I, of course, I'm in my autumn,in my fall, but because I'm in
my early 50s and the autumn goesuntil the 70s, I am in the
(54:36):
spring of my autumn, the springof your autumn.
Kena Siu (54:40):
Okay, I love that.
Oh, I can imagine like flowerswith the colors of autumn.
That could be so beautiful,exactly.
Luce Beaulieu (54:50):
Exactly.
Kena Siu (54:52):
Oh, that's great.
What is a simple pleasure thatyou enjoy the most?
Luce Beaulieu (54:59):
Wow, I would say in the morning it's waking up
and putting a hand over my vulvaand really saying hello, good
morning, I love you, and justfeeling her pulsating oh my god,
I love that.
Kena Siu (55:20):
And where can the listeners find you?
Luce Beaulieu (55:26):
listeners can find me on my website,
emergenceco, my instagram handle, emergenceco, as well, and
preferably my Facebook group.
That is called menopause isyour superpower.
Welcome to the midlife temple,or midlife temple for short.
(55:47):
That is where I do most of myteaching.
I go live almost every day inthat group.
Most of my teaching.
I go live almost every day inthat group, and I have a
beautiful program right now thatis launched, because I think
this is coming out in July andwe're in June, so it's called
(56:07):
Aging with Eros.
So if anything I have saidtoday is of any kind of interest
, this is we're going to go muchdeeper into all of it during
four months, so from August toNovember to, yes, november, with
a live embodiment retreatthat's going to be occurring
(56:29):
October 2 to 5 in Ontario, andwe're I'm so excited I'm co
creating this with a colleaguewho she is in the winter of her
autumn, so we are in bothspectrums of the autumn.
She's called Linda.
She's amazing, and we are goingto be holding this space
(56:50):
together for four months, aswell as the retreat for four
months, as well as the retreat.
Kena Siu (57:02):
So, and just for your listeners, you get a special 15%
off.
Oh, wow, that is great.
I think that would be a promocode or something.
Yes, okay, I'm gonna put allthat information in the show
notes.
Thank you so much.
It has been such a nourishing,mind-opening for me and,
hopefully, down to my neck, moreexperience from now on and
(57:25):
thank you so much for being here.
I love you so much my pleasure.
Luce Beaulieu (57:29):
I love you so much.
Kena Siu (57:33):
Thank you for tuning into Midlife Butterfly.
If this episode lit a spark inyou, hit that subscribe or
follow button on Apple Podcasts,spotify or wherever you love to
listen, so you'll never missthe magic.
If you're feeling generous,drop a review on Apple Podcasts.
It helps this empoweringcontent reach more souls ready
to transform their lives.
And don't forget to take aphoto of you while listening and
(57:56):
share it on your socials.
You can tag me at KenAsYou so Ican celebrate you and your
expansion.
Until next time, keep spreadingthose wings and living in joy,
growth and pleasure.
Popular Podcasts
Stuff You Should Know
If you've ever wanted to know about champagne, satanism, the Stonewall Uprising, chaos theory, LSD, El Nino, true crime and Rosa Parks, then look no further. Josh and Chuck have you covered.
24/7 News: The Latest
The latest news in 4 minutes updated every hour, every day.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com