July 29, 2025 • 20 mins
In this 30th episode of Midlife Butterfly, I celebrate the journey of showing up after years of hiding. Creating this podcast helped me face one of my biggest wounds—rejection—and step into visibility with courage and purpose.
If you're navigating a life transition—divorce, loss, reinvention—this episode is your reminder that midlife isn’t a crisis, it’s your soul awakening. You're not broken. You're remembering who you truly are beneath the conditioning and old stories.
I talk about going inward, healing the shadow, and reclaiming your worth. When you love and accept yourself fully, you become unshakable. That’s when true midlife transformation begins.
🦋 In This Episode, You’ll Hear:
- What it really took for me to launch this podcast—and why rejection no longer runs the show
- The truth about your midlife “crisis” (spoiler: it’s actually your soul knocking)
- Why hiding parts of yourself keeps you disconnected—and how to start coming home
- How programming, guilt, and people-pleasing shaped your identity—and how to lovingly unlearn it
- A call to become unapologetically YOU (with the ovaries to back it up)
Reflection Questions for Your Soul Journaling:
- What parts of yourself have you been hiding out of fear, shame, or conditioning?
- If your midlife is a soul awakening (not a crisis), what is it calling you to remember?
- What version of you is ready to be celebrated and lived—out loud and unshakable?
My one-on-one coaching is open for those who wish to be guided through this transformation process. Please DM me @MidlifeButterfly on Instagram or @KenaSiu on Facebook to connect. Doing the inner work is the best investment you can make in your life.
- - - - -
You can find all the podcast details right here: http://midlifebutterfly.ca/podcast
Download the Midlife Butterfly Guide with 5 Radical Practices to Heal, Take Your Power Back & Rise
Follow Kena on Instagram: @midlifebutterfly
Join the Midlife Butterfly Community: http://www.facebook.com/groups/midlifebutterfly
For Coaching, Courses & More Visit Kena's Website: http://midlifebutterfly.ca/workwithme
Request a Free Empowered Call with Kena if you're interested in working with her: https://midlifebutterfly.ca/empoweredsession
Song: Reborn by Alexander Nakarada
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Kena Siu (00:00):
Hey, beauty, welcome back to the Midlife Butterfly
Podcast, and I invite you tocelebrate with me the 30th
episode.
Yes, 30 episodes down there outin the universe.
So thank you, thank you, thankyou for your time, for your
(00:20):
energy that you spent with mehere.
It is an honor, truly.
Yes.
I feel so fucking proud of it.
Yes, midlife Butterfly, a womanin the sacred in between.
She's not who she once was andnot quite who she's becoming yet
(00:41):
.
She's unraveling, awakening,remembering.
She's navigating lifetransitions, divorce, loss,
reinvasion moves, with a burningdesire for freedom, joy and
solid living.
She feels the pull to rise, tofly.
She's no longer afraid of herown wings, of her own wings.
(01:06):
Thank you so much for being herein this episode of Midlife
Butterfly.
Oh my God, it's so excitingbecause I mean, it's been quite
a journey since I started backin September really.
I mean I launched the podcastin January, but the whole
(01:26):
process itself it started backin September when I started
choosing what would be thevisuals and the name of the
podcast and the topics that Iwould like to speak about and
share with other people, and soit has been quite a process,
very exciting, because it hasgiven me the possibility and the
(01:52):
gift to get to know more aboutmyself, and one of the things
that I want to share why thispodcast is here and alive as
well is because I was tired ofme hiding.
Yes, I don't know if you know,but one of my main wounds is
(02:17):
rejection, and it actually tookme two years to do my very first
video after I started mybusiness, so that's quite some
time.
So, since I tend to be outthere and then hide and you know
(02:40):
that dynamic really of knowthat dynamic really of being out
there and then hiding I justgot very fed up with it and I
knew that by creating this, byhaving the commitment of being
present here every week for youto create an impact in other
(03:03):
people and I mean an impact sopeople can relate of the stories
that are happening here, of theknowledge and wisdom that is
going out here, because it's notonly from my side and my
experience, but it's also fromthe women that have been
interviewed here.
(03:26):
I mean, have you listened tosome of their stories?
I mean they're incredible andit's so cool how we can relate
to others.
I mean it's so cool how we canlearn from others and have aha
moments and breakthroughs andsometimes, or many times, cry
(03:47):
with us.
And it's so beautiful becausethat's part of our human
experience.
The community, thatintertwining thing that is among
the stories around.
That is among the storiesaround because even when we are
8 billion people, we are unique.
(04:10):
You are unique, so what part ofyour uniqueness is similar to
others?
That it brings all this magicand beauty to your life, because
(04:30):
life is beautiful.
It is beautiful if we choose todo it that way and, of course,
it is a process to get therebecause, unfortunately, we have
been programmed and we have beeninheriting things that really
don't allow to be who we trulyare at the core and by daring to
(04:59):
explore who you are and, inthis case, like you know, I
turned it out to you because,like I said, like it was my
rejection wound, the one thatwas holding me back to be out
there.
So what is it that is part ofyou?
Is it a wound?
Is it drama?
(05:20):
Is it, you know, whateverinherent blame that you got from
your family, or your culture,or your religion, or
governmental stuff, or whateverit is that doesn't allow you to
be?
(05:40):
you.
Truly you.
That authentic person that ishidden after those many layers
caused by what I just mentioned.
Because the truth about thishuman experience, it's about
(06:03):
discovering who you are.
That's the journey.
Once we arrive here, we forgotabout the soul that is out there
, that is always shining andthat is there.
So it's about reconnecting tothat part of you.
(06:24):
Because, if you are in midlife,if you are listening to this,
how many decades have you had ofconditioning and programming?
It's not easy to remove, toheal all those parts, not to
remove, to heal and accept allthose parts who make you who you
are this moment, who make youwho you are at this moment.
(06:47):
Because at this moment, let metell you, even when you might
not believe it, you are notbroken, you have never been, you
are whole and you are worthy.
Yes, what had happened isthrough your human experience
(07:08):
again through trauma, education,conditioning, programming, etc.
Etc.
And by hiding those parts ofyou that you were told to hide
because of shame or guilt,because it's not well seen by
others, etc.
(07:30):
Etc.
It's what doesn't allow you tobe truly you, because you have
divided those parts and you havehidden.
But the thing is, all thoseparts of you are there and the
more you bring them to the tableand observe them, accept them,
(07:54):
understanding, the more lightyou're going to bring to that
shadow part.
You know that's how we call it.
You know that's how we call itand it will bring in light to
that shadow so you can shine andshine more.
And it's when the true youcomes out.
I think it's for the true youto come out, the first thing
(08:23):
that you gotta do is to come in,because everything is within
you.
Everything you have questions,all the answers are within you.
(08:46):
You are the guru.
You might have people thatguide you, either as mentors or
coaches, and then yourrelationships, what they are
triggering you.
They are also guiding you totake care to heal so you can
then shine a bit more.
You are here to live thisbeautiful, extraordinary journey
(09:21):
and it's up to you to bring itup, because the truth is and I'm
sure you already heard thisnobody's gonna come to save you.
It's up to you to go throughthat journey, that inner journey
(09:42):
that the more layers you peel,you know like the onion, the
freer you're going to feel everytime.
Because if you are not you atthis moment, if you think that
(10:05):
you are in a crisis, let me tellyou no, no, there's no midlife
crisis.
It's the knock on the door ofyour soul.
It wants you to wake up.
It's fucking time to wake up.
It's time to go within andstart focusing in whatever is
(10:29):
out there.
It's time to listen to yoursoul and start shushing that
inner critic that is in there.
Because you might believe thatyou are your mind.
(10:57):
I just give you a pause there,so your mind will continue
thinking.
So see, you are not your mind.
You were the one observing yourmind.
You are the consciousnessbehind.
So it's about starting tounderstand how the mind works,
(11:17):
how the seed works, so you canstart understanding more who you
are and start detaching for allthose different things, because
the beliefs that you are notenough, that you are unworthy,
that you are not lovable, etc.
(11:38):
Etc.
All those are programs.
So it means you need to unlearnall that, to relearn things that
serve you, and I understandthat that causes a lot of fear
(12:00):
and discomfort, because that'spart of your identity.
That's who you are at thismoment.
Right, the hats you are wearing, the labels that you have, the
stories that you are tellingyourself.
If you are a people pleaser,you know All those
(12:22):
characteristics that are you atthis moment is your personality,
which is your personal reality.
But do you know that when youstart shifting and healing and
loving and understanding what isbehind there, who is really
(12:51):
there, it's when you startliving your life more at ease
and with flow.
Why?
Because you're going toreprogram yourself in a way that
(13:13):
serves you, in a way that youcan do whatever the fuck you
want.
That's really it.
Because the more you get toknow who you are and you start
setting boundaries and you startsaying no and you start
(13:37):
believing and gaining thatconfidence within you, oh my God
, you're going to become, becomeunstoppable.
I'm telling you and you're gonnahave the ovaries to say, okay,
this is my tooth now.
(13:58):
How I want to keep living now.
How do I want to create myreality?
Now?
Because you are the creator.
You are, I am the creator.
That's why I'm celebrating 30episodes today.
(14:18):
I need to check a lot of powerand energy to be here.
So what is it that you want tocreate?
Who do you want to be?
It's free will.
(14:39):
Huh, it's free will because wealways have the option to choose
.
Sometimes might not be the bestoption that we want to, but
there's always something tochoose not be the best option
that we want to, but there'salways something to shoot.
So what are you shooting today?
Who are you choosing to be?
(15:02):
Because my guess is that theversion that you are being, or
the versions that are behind you, they are not serving you
anymore.
And the good part about thisgrowth and evolution right in
(15:27):
this life is that, I mean, Ifeel great in the version that I
am.
Now I see one more, and I'msure that's a cool part that the
more you discover who you areand the more you start creating
a life that you love, you gonnakeep asking for more.
(15:58):
Yes, bring it all, bring it on,drink it all, because you are
worth just having whatever thefuck you want.
That is.
Everything starts with who youare, truly and deeply, and
accepting, understanding andloving yourself so fucking much
(16:24):
that, no matter the opinions andperceptions of others, you are
unshakable.
You can become unshakableBecause you're not going to
depend on others' people, lawsor validation you know, or
(16:49):
understanding to do what youwant to be, who you want to be
and what you want to have.
So dare to be yourself, dare togo within, dare to heal
(17:15):
yourself, to take the time foryou to explore what is and.
And know that the darker it getswhen you go in, the more you
(17:35):
observe that shadow part, themore light is going to come to
light it up and it's a process.
It's a process, but it's abeautiful, beautiful process.
Beautiful, beautiful processBecause when you come out of it,
like you know the butterfly,that Christ rises, when you
(18:00):
start pulling those wings out,oh woman, when you start feeling
that courage and resilience andpower within, nothing is going
to stop you, nothing, nobody.
You are more powerful than youthink you are.
(18:24):
So what are you celebratingtoday?
I would love to hear from youbecause, well, I am here putting
my energy my voice speaking mytruth, but unfortunately I'm not
able to know who's behind it,and I would love to hear from
(18:45):
you.
Please DM me at MidlifeButterfly I'm there in Instagram
and at Ken Asu in Facebook.
It will be my pleasure to knowwho is here behind, because if
I'm celebrating- 30 episodes.
It's thanks are part of myresilience, of wanting to be
(19:14):
here, of wanting to serve people, because I know that you need.
You know processes, mentorship,coaching, a therapist, whatever
(19:47):
it is that you feel called toget to know who you are, because
doing the work, doing the innerwork, trust me, is so worth it.
It's the best investment youcan do in your life and, if you
(20:10):
wish, I'll be happy to guide you.
My one on one coaching is openand, yeah, dare to live the life
that you want, the life thatyou have dreamed of, a life that
you love.
I am doing it and I'm sure youcan do it as well.
(20:32):
Thank you so much for listening, as usual.
Much love to you and take care.
Hey, beauty, welcome back to the Midlife Butterfly
Podcast, and I invite you tocelebrate with me the 30th
episode.
Yes, 30 episodes down there outin the universe.
So thank you, thank you, thankyou for your time, for your
(00:20):
energy that you spent with mehere.
It is an honor, truly.
Yes.
I feel so fucking proud of it.
Yes, midlife Butterfly, a womanin the sacred in between.
She's not who she once was andnot quite who she's becoming yet
(00:41):
.
She's unraveling, awakening,remembering.
She's navigating lifetransitions, divorce, loss,
reinvasion moves, with a burningdesire for freedom, joy and
solid living.
She feels the pull to rise, tofly.
She's no longer afraid of herown wings, of her own wings.
(01:06):
Thank you so much for being herein this episode of Midlife
Butterfly.
Oh my God, it's so excitingbecause I mean, it's been quite
a journey since I started backin September really.
I mean I launched the podcastin January, but the whole
(01:26):
process itself it started backin September when I started
choosing what would be thevisuals and the name of the
podcast and the topics that Iwould like to speak about and
share with other people, and soit has been quite a process,
very exciting, because it hasgiven me the possibility and the
(01:52):
gift to get to know more aboutmyself, and one of the things
that I want to share why thispodcast is here and alive as
well is because I was tired ofme hiding.
Yes, I don't know if you know,but one of my main wounds is
(02:17):
rejection, and it actually tookme two years to do my very first
video after I started mybusiness, so that's quite some
time.
So, since I tend to be outthere and then hide and you know
(02:40):
that dynamic really of knowthat dynamic really of being out
there and then hiding I justgot very fed up with it and I
knew that by creating this, byhaving the commitment of being
present here every week for youto create an impact in other
(03:03):
people and I mean an impact sopeople can relate of the stories
that are happening here, of theknowledge and wisdom that is
going out here, because it's notonly from my side and my
experience, but it's also fromthe women that have been
interviewed here.
(03:26):
I mean, have you listened tosome of their stories?
I mean they're incredible andit's so cool how we can relate
to others.
I mean it's so cool how we canlearn from others and have aha
moments and breakthroughs andsometimes, or many times, cry
(03:47):
with us.
And it's so beautiful becausethat's part of our human
experience.
The community, thatintertwining thing that is among
the stories around.
That is among the storiesaround because even when we are
8 billion people, we are unique.
(04:10):
You are unique, so what part ofyour uniqueness is similar to
others?
That it brings all this magicand beauty to your life, because
(04:30):
life is beautiful.
It is beautiful if we choose todo it that way and, of course,
it is a process to get therebecause, unfortunately, we have
been programmed and we have beeninheriting things that really
don't allow to be who we trulyare at the core and by daring to
(04:59):
explore who you are and, inthis case, like you know, I
turned it out to you because,like I said, like it was my
rejection wound, the one thatwas holding me back to be out
there.
So what is it that is part ofyou?
Is it a wound?
Is it drama?
(05:20):
Is it, you know, whateverinherent blame that you got from
your family, or your culture,or your religion, or
governmental stuff, or whateverit is that doesn't allow you to
be?
(05:40):
you.
Truly you.
That authentic person that ishidden after those many layers
caused by what I just mentioned.
Because the truth about thishuman experience, it's about
(06:03):
discovering who you are.
That's the journey.
Once we arrive here, we forgotabout the soul that is out there
, that is always shining andthat is there.
So it's about reconnecting tothat part of you.
(06:24):
Because, if you are in midlife,if you are listening to this,
how many decades have you had ofconditioning and programming?
It's not easy to remove, toheal all those parts, not to
remove, to heal and accept allthose parts who make you who you
are this moment, who make youwho you are at this moment.
(06:47):
Because at this moment, let metell you, even when you might
not believe it, you are notbroken, you have never been, you
are whole and you are worthy.
Yes, what had happened isthrough your human experience
(07:08):
again through trauma, education,conditioning, programming, etc.
Etc.
And by hiding those parts ofyou that you were told to hide
because of shame or guilt,because it's not well seen by
others, etc.
(07:30):
Etc.
It's what doesn't allow you tobe truly you, because you have
divided those parts and you havehidden.
But the thing is, all thoseparts of you are there and the
more you bring them to the tableand observe them, accept them,
(07:54):
understanding, the more lightyou're going to bring to that
shadow part.
You know that's how we call it.
You know that's how we call itand it will bring in light to
that shadow so you can shine andshine more.
And it's when the true youcomes out.
I think it's for the true youto come out, the first thing
(08:23):
that you gotta do is to come in,because everything is within
you.
Everything you have questions,all the answers are within you.
(08:46):
You are the guru.
You might have people thatguide you, either as mentors or
coaches, and then yourrelationships, what they are
triggering you.
They are also guiding you totake care to heal so you can
then shine a bit more.
You are here to live thisbeautiful, extraordinary journey
(09:21):
and it's up to you to bring itup, because the truth is and I'm
sure you already heard thisnobody's gonna come to save you.
It's up to you to go throughthat journey, that inner journey
(09:42):
that the more layers you peel,you know like the onion, the
freer you're going to feel everytime.
Because if you are not you atthis moment, if you think that
(10:05):
you are in a crisis, let me tellyou no, no, there's no midlife
crisis.
It's the knock on the door ofyour soul.
It wants you to wake up.
It's fucking time to wake up.
It's time to go within andstart focusing in whatever is
(10:29):
out there.
It's time to listen to yoursoul and start shushing that
inner critic that is in there.
Because you might believe thatyou are your mind.
(10:57):
I just give you a pause there,so your mind will continue
thinking.
So see, you are not your mind.
You were the one observing yourmind.
You are the consciousnessbehind.
So it's about starting tounderstand how the mind works,
(11:17):
how the seed works, so you canstart understanding more who you
are and start detaching for allthose different things, because
the beliefs that you are notenough, that you are unworthy,
that you are not lovable, etc.
(11:38):
Etc.
All those are programs.
So it means you need to unlearnall that, to relearn things that
serve you, and I understandthat that causes a lot of fear
(12:00):
and discomfort, because that'spart of your identity.
That's who you are at thismoment.
Right, the hats you are wearing, the labels that you have, the
stories that you are tellingyourself.
If you are a people pleaser,you know All those
(12:22):
characteristics that are you atthis moment is your personality,
which is your personal reality.
But do you know that when youstart shifting and healing and
loving and understanding what isbehind there, who is really
(12:51):
there, it's when you startliving your life more at ease
and with flow.
Why?
Because you're going toreprogram yourself in a way that
(13:13):
serves you, in a way that youcan do whatever the fuck you
want.
That's really it.
Because the more you get toknow who you are and you start
setting boundaries and you startsaying no and you start
(13:37):
believing and gaining thatconfidence within you, oh my God
, you're going to become, becomeunstoppable.
I'm telling you and you're gonnahave the ovaries to say, okay,
this is my tooth now.
(13:58):
How I want to keep living now.
How do I want to create myreality?
Now?
Because you are the creator.
You are, I am the creator.
That's why I'm celebrating 30episodes today.
(14:18):
I need to check a lot of powerand energy to be here.
So what is it that you want tocreate?
Who do you want to be?
It's free will.
(14:39):
Huh, it's free will because wealways have the option to choose
.
Sometimes might not be the bestoption that we want to, but
there's always something tochoose not be the best option
that we want to, but there'salways something to shoot.
So what are you shooting today?
Who are you choosing to be?
(15:02):
Because my guess is that theversion that you are being, or
the versions that are behind you, they are not serving you
anymore.
And the good part about thisgrowth and evolution right in
(15:27):
this life is that, I mean, Ifeel great in the version that I
am.
Now I see one more, and I'msure that's a cool part that the
more you discover who you areand the more you start creating
a life that you love, you gonnakeep asking for more.
(15:58):
Yes, bring it all, bring it on,drink it all, because you are
worth just having whatever thefuck you want.
That is.
Everything starts with who youare, truly and deeply, and
accepting, understanding andloving yourself so fucking much
(16:24):
that, no matter the opinions andperceptions of others, you are
unshakable.
You can become unshakableBecause you're not going to
depend on others' people, lawsor validation you know, or
(16:49):
understanding to do what youwant to be, who you want to be
and what you want to have.
So dare to be yourself, dare togo within, dare to heal
(17:15):
yourself, to take the time foryou to explore what is and.
And know that the darker it getswhen you go in, the more you
(17:35):
observe that shadow part, themore light is going to come to
light it up and it's a process.
It's a process, but it's abeautiful, beautiful process.
Beautiful, beautiful processBecause when you come out of it,
like you know the butterfly,that Christ rises, when you
(18:00):
start pulling those wings out,oh woman, when you start feeling
that courage and resilience andpower within, nothing is going
to stop you, nothing, nobody.
You are more powerful than youthink you are.
(18:24):
So what are you celebratingtoday?
I would love to hear from youbecause, well, I am here putting
my energy my voice speaking mytruth, but unfortunately I'm not
able to know who's behind it,and I would love to hear from
(18:45):
you.
Please DM me at MidlifeButterfly I'm there in Instagram
and at Ken Asu in Facebook.
It will be my pleasure to knowwho is here behind, because if
I'm celebrating- 30 episodes.
It's thanks are part of myresilience, of wanting to be
(19:14):
here, of wanting to serve people, because I know that you need.
You know processes, mentorship,coaching, a therapist, whatever
(19:47):
it is that you feel called toget to know who you are, because
doing the work, doing the innerwork, trust me, is so worth it.
It's the best investment youcan do in your life and, if you
(20:10):
wish, I'll be happy to guide you.
My one on one coaching is openand, yeah, dare to live the life
that you want, the life thatyou have dreamed of, a life that
you love.
I am doing it and I'm sure youcan do it as well.
(20:32):
Thank you so much for listening, as usual.
Much love to you and take care.
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