为什么你没有白人同事的自信？

—Links—

Career Coaching: https://www.mrjonathanoffice.com/career-coaching 

Job Search Coaching: https://www.mrjonathanoffice.com/job-search-coaching 

Read my letters: https://mrjonathanoffice.substack.com/ 

—Socials—

Xiaohongshu: https://www.xiaohongshu.com/user/profile/5fc40fdf000000000100a66b

Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jonathanrhyzli/ 

—Like and Review—

If you enjoyed this episode, the greatest compliment you could give me is to like and review this podcast. Let’s support free career podcasts for Chinese professionals on the internet.

Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Welcome back to Day Day Up, the weekly podcast for

(00:02):
Chinese professionals navigatingthe Western workplace.
I'm Jonathan.
Let's get into it.
I've been coaching Eve for ayear now.
In interviews, she's beenpraying that they won't ask
about her no-no project.
The way she describes it, my CEOwanted a real-time sales
dashboard and nobody could buildit, so he asked me.
I spent a lot of time, but itdidn't go anywhere because I got

(00:25):
the data wrong.
I feel like it just proves Ican't deliver.
So I sat with her in that storyfor a moment.
And then I told her the otherside of the same story, the one
that I could see.
Nobody in the company couldbuild what your CEO wanted.
So among all his employees, hetrusted you, a financial analyst
with zero engineeringbackground.

(00:46):
You taught yourself Power BI andbuilt the company's first
dashboard from zero to one.
It wasn't perfect, and the datawas wrong.
Of course it was, when thecompany had no data foundations
to begin with, but it provedwhat was possible and gave him
the confidence to invest in afull-time data engineer to take

(01:07):
it from one to a hundred.
You didn't fail to build thedashboard.
You're the reason the dashboardexists.
She went quiet.
Then she said the thing I hearall the time in some version or
another.
I never thought about it thatway.
I'm feeling a lot right now.
Here's what I've come to believeafter years of this work.

(01:29):
So many of us Chinese run thesame broken code.
We internalize our failures andexternalize our successes.
When something goes wrong, welook inward.
It's because I'm too dumb, toolazy, too afraid.
When something goes right, welook everywhere else.
It was the team.
My manager.

(01:51):
Luck.
But watch your Western coworkersand you'll see the reverse.
When it works, it was theirvision, their call.
When it breaks, it was thetiming, the process, the missing
data.
Every story is just a collectionof facts.
Select the failures and giveaway your wins, and you have a

(02:12):
self-deprecating story.
Do the opposite, and you have aself-appreciating one.
Both are true.
So tell yourself the better one.
Now you might worry this makesyou arrogant.
It doesn't.
When you count your wins, you'recollecting evidence.
Evidence that proves you'recapable.
So you can be confident, you canbe brave, you can take the risks

(02:34):
that used to scare you.
The self-critical story doesn'tmake you better.
It makes you scared.
So here's what I want you to dotomorrow.
It only takes five minutes.
Choose one work story you'remost ashamed of.
Write it down, but in the thirdperson, like it happened to
someone else.
Select the facts that help youappreciate this person's
contributions the most.

(02:54):
Why third person?
The researcher and psychologistEthan Cross found that the
moment we stop saying I and useour own name, the emotional
flooding stops, and we judgeourselves the way we judge a
friend.
Fairly, this is exactly what Idid for Eve.
Now you can do it for yourself.
I'm not asking you to craft apretty lie.

(03:15):
I'm asking you to choose thefacts of a different kind of
story.
Tell it enough times, and you'llfind you've become a different
person.
Alright, that's your growth tipfor this week.
Now let's take a melon break.
Walk into any grocery store inNorth America right now, and

(03:37):
you'll find that the World Cuphas gotten there before you.
The mac and cheese is shapedlike little soccer balls and
cleats.
The cheez-its come as flags andstars.
There's a Christian Pulisiccracker, a Christian Pulisic
cookie, and a Christian Pulisicchocolate bar in case you wanted
your snack to have a striker onit.
McDonald's is handing out ninedifferent collectible cups with

(03:58):
soccer legends on them, plus 23squishmallows and tiny jerseys.
You know the part I findhilarious?
America isn't really a soccercountry.
Soccer sits third in popularitybehind American football and
basketball, and the gap is noteven close.
The 2022 World Cup final drewabout 26 million viewers in the

(04:19):
US.
The Super Bowl that same yeardrew 113 million.
Canada is no different.
I've loved my maple leafs for aslong as I can remember.
And at the same time, I knownothing about Toronto FC.
Yes, we actually have a soccerclub too.
And yet the entire snack aisleacross the host nations has
decided almost overnight tobecome passionately European

(04:43):
about a sport most shopperscouldn't name five players in.
My take.
This is a country performingenthusiasm it hasn't actually
grown into yet, because thecameras are here and the world
is watching.
If you've ever fake, laughed,and nodded through a
conversation on some pop culturetopic you have no idea about,

(05:03):
just to belong in the room,congratulations.
North Americans will be joiningyou soon.
Here's how you can use thistopic in Smalltalk next week.
With coworkers.
Have you seen the World Cupstuff showing up in grocery
stores?
There's literally soccerball-shaped mac and cheese now.
I didn't even think Americansliked soccer that much.
Are you excited for the upcominggames?

(05:25):
With your boss.
It's fascinating watching everybrand pivot to soccer for the
World Cup when it's only thethird most popular sport here.
It's a great example of a hostcountry manufacturing cultural
buy-in for a moment, almost amasterclass in riding a wave you
didn't create.

(05:47):
Day Up is written, produced, andhosted with love by me, Jonathan
Lee.
To learn more, check out my freeweekly newsletter for
communicating in the Westernworkplace, read by over 2,000
Chinese professionals.
Just search Daily Up Jonathanand you will find me.
That's all for today.
See you next Sunday with theChisang Shao Hopan.