Chapter 20 - How Strong I Am

Friday, November 12th, 2021

When Joffrey wanted Voldemort to move in with us, I was hesitant. I warned him that if he treated me the way he treated me when we lived with Elliot, I’d be done. That if there were any conflicts, he’d have to recognize my feelings. I told him that. I thought he’d grown.

My heart beats out of sync. Katy and I are sitting in a coffee shop, finishing up our work. I started to cry. I tell her I’m so afraid.

She asks, “Of what?”

Doing this alone. What if I can’t be without him? What if I miss him too much? What if I get too lonely? She told me it’d be a good thing – that I’ll find out how strong I am.

When we got home, Joffrey was letting Penny out. I stayed behind to talk with him. He revealed he was leaving tonight. I told him I was finally angry – I was mad at him for blaming me. I’d asked him for what I needed for so long and waiting until the end to fix it wasn’t a good sign. He said he’s learned a lot and he knows what he needs to do now, that he loves me. I told him I love him too. That I hope he figures himself out and finds someone else, but that it doesn’t work out – I really hoped it would be us. He told me he hopes I learn to forgive. I’ve forgiven so much…

He said he was sorry he made me feel the way that I did. I asked him to fix it. I told him I didn’t know what the future held, but I needed to do what was right for me now.

Get full access to My Fictional Diary at myfictionaldiary.substack.com/subscribe