February 23, 2025 • 8 mins
Unlock the secrets to thriving amidst life's challenges with Robert Flowers, our special guest and author of "From Setback to Comeback: Finding Your Resiliency in Tough Times." Discover how resilience isn't just about enduring hardships but transforming them into opportunities for growth. Through compelling stories of individuals like Robert Pattinson and Joanna Gaines, Flowers illustrates how anyone can cultivate resilience and apply it across various facets of life. Learn practical strategies such as embracing a growth mindset, using exposure therapy, and employing visualization techniques to turn fear into a strength.
Explore Flowers' insightful definition of resilience as the capacity to adapt and evolve through adversity rather than merely persisting. He draws a vivid distinction between resilience and perseverance, emphasizing the importance of strategic adaptation. Delve into the role of mindset, where shifting from a problem-focused to a solution-focused perspective can make all the difference. With personal anecdotes and expert advice, this episode equips you with the tools to strengthen your resilience muscle, helping you navigate setbacks in both personal and professional spheres. Get ready for a transformative listen that promises to inspire and empower.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey everyone, welcome back for another deep dive.
You guys really seem to loveour last exploration with Robert
Flowers and his book the Joy ofHelping Others.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Yeah, it's really something, isn't it, how helping
others can bring so much joy.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Absolutely.
And you know what?
Flowers is back with a new bookthat I think is going to
resonate just as deeply.
It's all about resilience.
Oh wow, yeah, that ability tonot just survive challenges but
come out even stronger.
The book is called From Setbackto Comeback Finding your
Resiliency in Tough Times.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
You know, resilience is such a critical skill these
days.
It doesn't really matter whatyou do or where you are in life.
Everybody faces setbacks, right.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
And it's all about how we deal with them.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
Exactly that's what we're diving into today.
We'll be exploring the sciencebehind resilience, how our
mindset plays a huge role, andeven some practical techniques
that Flowers recommends forbouncing back from tough times.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
I'm really interested to hear his take on a growth
mindset.
It's something we hear a lotabout, but I'm curious to see
how Flowers breaks it down.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
Oh, he totally does.
And he doesn't just talk theoryeither.
Yeah, he brings in theseamazing stories like how Robert
Pattinson uses his anxiety tofuel his acting.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Really.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Yeah, and how Joanna Gaines built her design empire
by overcoming her fear offailure.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
It's so inspiring to hear how people have applied
these ideas in their own lives.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
For sure.
So let's unpack what resilienceactually means.
What resilience actually means?
Flowers defines it as thecapacity to bounce back from
stress, challenges and evenadversity and come out with
greater psychological strengthand adaptability.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
So it's not just about pushing through it.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
It's more nuanced than that.
It's about adapting andevolving.
Flowers even used a greatanalogy to distinguish
resilience from perseverance, hesays think of a resilient
athlete adapting their trainingafter an injury versus a
persevering one who just pushesthrough intense practice despite
the pain.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Okay, I see the difference.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
Right Resilience is about being smart and strategic,
not just pushing forwardblindly.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
And it's something we can all learn right.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Exactly.
You don't have to be bornresilient.
It's a skill you can develop.
Be born resilient, it's a skillyou can develop.
Flowers talks about howpositive emotions, emotional
regulation, physical health anda supportive environment all
contribute to buildingresilience.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
It's like a muscle you can strengthen over time.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
I want you to think about your own life.
How have you demonstratedresilience in the past?
What challenges did you faceand how did you adapt and find a
new path forward?
Speaker 2 (02:24):
That's a great question to think about.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
We all have resilient stories, and it's fascinating
to see how those experienceshave shaped us.
Okay, so we've got this idea ofresilience being like a muscle
that we can strengthen.
How does mindset play into this?
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Well Flowers is a big believer in the power of a
growth mindset.
You know that idea that you canalways learn and develop your
abilities.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Yeah, that you're not limited by your current skill
set.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Right.
It's about seeing challengesnot as setbacks but as
opportunities for growth.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
And what's interesting is, Flowers goes
beyond just saying have apositive attitude.
He actually gives youstrategies for overcoming the
fear of failure.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
Which is something that holds a lot of us back
right.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
Totally.
He talks about using exposuretherapy, so gradually
confronting the things thatscare you.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
Kind of like dipping your toes in the cold water
instead of jumping in headfirst.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Exactly, it's about desensitizing yourself to that
fear response.
And he also talks aboutvisualization Imagining yourself
societally navigating toughsituations.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
So the more you practice those scenarios in your
mind, the better preparedyou'll be when they actually
happen.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
That's the idea, and remember those inspiring stories
we talked about earlier.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
Oh yeah, like Robert Pattinson, using his anxiety to
fuel his performance.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
Yeah, that's a perfect example of visualization
and reframing fear.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
It's like turning that negative energy into
something positive.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
And Flowers also talks about shifting from a
problem-focused approach to asolution-focused approach.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
So, instead of dwelling on why something bad is
happening, you ask what can Ido about it?
Speaker 2 (03:54):
He even gives the example of Dick Fosbury, the
high jumper who revolutionizedthe sport with the Fosbury flop.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
Oh yeah, I remember learning about him in school.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
He was struggling with the traditional techniques,
so he completely reframed thechallenge and came up with a
totally new approach.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
And it changed the sport forever.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Exactly Now.
Think about a time when youfaced a challenge and had to
reframe your thinking.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
That's a good one.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
How did that shift in perspective change the outcome?
Speaker 1 (04:19):
It's amazing how powerful a little mindset shift
can be.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
Absolutely Now.
Flowers doesn't just stop atmindset, he's also a big
advocate for self-assessment.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
What does he recommend for that?
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Well, he's a big fan of the SWOT analysis.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
Oh yeah, where you identify your strengths,
weaknesses, opportunities andthreats.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
Exactly, it's a classic business tool, but it
can be incredibly helpful forpersonal growth too.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
It's all about knowing yourself better so you
can play to your strengths andaddress those areas where you
might need to improve.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Right and once you have that self awareness,
Flowers emphasizes theimportance of emotional
resilience.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
So understanding those emotional triggers that
can set us off.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
Right and having techniques to manage those
emotions effectively.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
He talks about problem solving over ruminating
right.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
Yeah, rumination just keeps you stuck in that cycle
of negativity.
He also gets into the dualprocess theory of emotion
regulation.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
That sounds complicated.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
It basically says we have automatic and controlled
words of managing our emotions.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
OK, so it's like a two pronged approach.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
And he even connects this to business leadership.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
Oh interesting.
Tell me more about that.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Well, he argues that leaders who can manage their own
frustration, for example, makebetter decisions in tough
situations.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
So like if a CEO is freaking out about a declining
market.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
It's going to impact the entire company, but if they
can stay calm and collected,they inspire confidence and can
lead their team more effectively.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
It's about being the steady hand guiding everyone
through the storm.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
Exactly, emotional intelligence is a valuable skill
.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
And something we can all work on.
Okay, so we've talked aboutmindset, self-awareness and even
emotional regulation.
What about practical techniquesfor building resilience?
Does Flowers offer any specificadvice?
Speaker 2 (06:00):
Oh, absolutely.
He covers a lot of ground here.
He talks about stressmanagement techniques,
mindfulness practices likemeditation and deep breathing
exercises.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
Oh yeah, those are always helpful.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
But he also talks about the importance of the
basics like getting enough sleep, eating, a healthy diet and
regular physical activity.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
So it's not just about mental toughness, it's
about taking care of yourphysical health too.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Exactly it's a holistic approach and you know
Flowers also emphasizes creatinga supportive environment.
Oh yeah, both at work and inyour health too.
Exactly, it's a holisticapproach and you know, flowers
also emphasizes creating asupportive environment.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
Oh yeah, both at work and in your personal life.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Exactly.
Surround yourself with peoplewho encourage you, set
boundaries to protect your timeand energy.
These are all key for buildingresilience.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
It's like creating a safety net for yourself.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
Right and remember what we were talking about
earlier, about the physicalenvironment.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
Oh yeah, a cluttered office can actually lead to a
more negative mindset.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
It's fascinating how our surroundings can affect us
like that.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
So true, so what else does Flower suggest?
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Well, he also suggests using positive
affirmations.
You know, those littlereminders we can repeat to
ourselves.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
Like I'm capable of handling this.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Right or.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
I will find a way forward.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
Exactly, it's about actively shaping our inner
dialogue.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
It's like giving yourself a pep talk.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
And one of the most intriguing things in the book is
this idea of a long-termresilience roadmap.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
Especially for organizations.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
Yeah, he talks about building resilience into the DNA
of a company.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
So it's not just about individual resilience, but
about creating a culture ofresilience.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
Right.
He talks about having a strongvision statement, setting
measurable milestones forbuilding resilience, allocating
resources effectively andinvesting in the right
infrastructure.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
It's like creating a blueprint for the future.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
So think about your own journey.
What would your personalresilience roadmap look like?
Speaker 1 (07:48):
What steps?
Speaker 2 (07:48):
can we take now to be prepared for the challenges
ahead?
And finally, Flowers reminds usof the importance of innovation
and adaptability.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
Especially in today's world, where things are
constantly changing.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
Exactly.
He encourages us to find abalance between honoring
tradition and embracing newideas and technologies.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
It's about being open to new possibilities and
constantly learning and adapting.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
Well said.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
This has been a fantastic deep dive into from
setback to comeback.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
It really has.
Robert Flowers has given us somuch to think about.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
To wrap things up, I want to leave you with a final
thought-provoking question fromthe book what's one small step
you can take today to build yourpersonal or professional
resilience?
Speaker 2 (08:26):
It's a great question to ponder.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
It reminds us that resilience is an ongoing journey
.
We're always learning andgrowing, Absolutely Until our
next deep dive, keep exploring,keep experimenting and keep
building that resilience muscle.
Hey everyone, welcome back for another deep dive.
You guys really seem to loveour last exploration with Robert
Flowers and his book the Joy ofHelping Others.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
Yeah, it's really something, isn't it, how helping
others can bring so much joy.
Speaker 1 (00:13):
Absolutely.
And you know what?
Flowers is back with a new bookthat I think is going to
resonate just as deeply.
It's all about resilience.
Oh wow, yeah, that ability tonot just survive challenges but
come out even stronger.
The book is called From Setbackto Comeback Finding your
Resiliency in Tough Times.
Speaker 2 (00:32):
You know, resilience is such a critical skill these
days.
It doesn't really matter whatyou do or where you are in life.
Everybody faces setbacks, right.
Speaker 1 (00:40):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (00:40):
And it's all about how we deal with them.
Speaker 1 (00:42):
Exactly that's what we're diving into today.
We'll be exploring the sciencebehind resilience, how our
mindset plays a huge role, andeven some practical techniques
that Flowers recommends forbouncing back from tough times.
Speaker 2 (00:52):
I'm really interested to hear his take on a growth
mindset.
It's something we hear a lotabout, but I'm curious to see
how Flowers breaks it down.
Speaker 1 (00:59):
Oh, he totally does.
And he doesn't just talk theoryeither.
Yeah, he brings in theseamazing stories like how Robert
Pattinson uses his anxiety tofuel his acting.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Really.
Speaker 1 (01:08):
Yeah, and how Joanna Gaines built her design empire
by overcoming her fear offailure.
Speaker 2 (01:13):
It's so inspiring to hear how people have applied
these ideas in their own lives.
Speaker 1 (01:18):
For sure.
So let's unpack what resilienceactually means.
What resilience actually means?
Flowers defines it as thecapacity to bounce back from
stress, challenges and evenadversity and come out with
greater psychological strengthand adaptability.
Speaker 2 (01:31):
So it's not just about pushing through it.
Speaker 1 (01:33):
It's more nuanced than that.
It's about adapting andevolving.
Flowers even used a greatanalogy to distinguish
resilience from perseverance, hesays think of a resilient
athlete adapting their trainingafter an injury versus a
persevering one who just pushesthrough intense practice despite
the pain.
Speaker 2 (01:50):
Okay, I see the difference.
Speaker 1 (01:51):
Right Resilience is about being smart and strategic,
not just pushing forwardblindly.
Speaker 2 (01:56):
And it's something we can all learn right.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Exactly.
You don't have to be bornresilient.
It's a skill you can develop.
Be born resilient, it's a skillyou can develop.
Flowers talks about howpositive emotions, emotional
regulation, physical health anda supportive environment all
contribute to buildingresilience.
Speaker 2 (02:13):
It's like a muscle you can strengthen over time.
Speaker 1 (02:14):
I want you to think about your own life.
How have you demonstratedresilience in the past?
What challenges did you faceand how did you adapt and find a
new path forward?
Speaker 2 (02:24):
That's a great question to think about.
Speaker 1 (02:26):
We all have resilient stories, and it's fascinating
to see how those experienceshave shaped us.
Okay, so we've got this idea ofresilience being like a muscle
that we can strengthen.
How does mindset play into this?
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Well Flowers is a big believer in the power of a
growth mindset.
You know that idea that you canalways learn and develop your
abilities.
Speaker 1 (02:45):
Yeah, that you're not limited by your current skill
set.
Speaker 2 (02:47):
Right.
It's about seeing challengesnot as setbacks but as
opportunities for growth.
Speaker 1 (02:53):
I love that.
Speaker 2 (02:54):
And what's interesting is, Flowers goes
beyond just saying have apositive attitude.
He actually gives youstrategies for overcoming the
fear of failure.
Speaker 1 (03:02):
Which is something that holds a lot of us back
right.
Speaker 2 (03:04):
Totally.
He talks about using exposuretherapy, so gradually
confronting the things thatscare you.
Speaker 1 (03:10):
Kind of like dipping your toes in the cold water
instead of jumping in headfirst.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
Exactly, it's about desensitizing yourself to that
fear response.
And he also talks aboutvisualization Imagining yourself
societally navigating toughsituations.
Speaker 1 (03:24):
So the more you practice those scenarios in your
mind, the better preparedyou'll be when they actually
happen.
Speaker 2 (03:28):
That's the idea, and remember those inspiring stories
we talked about earlier.
Speaker 1 (03:32):
Oh yeah, like Robert Pattinson, using his anxiety to
fuel his performance.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
Yeah, that's a perfect example of visualization
and reframing fear.
Speaker 1 (03:41):
It's like turning that negative energy into
something positive.
Speaker 2 (03:44):
And Flowers also talks about shifting from a
problem-focused approach to asolution-focused approach.
Speaker 1 (03:50):
So, instead of dwelling on why something bad is
happening, you ask what can Ido about it?
Speaker 2 (03:54):
He even gives the example of Dick Fosbury, the
high jumper who revolutionizedthe sport with the Fosbury flop.
Speaker 1 (03:59):
Oh yeah, I remember learning about him in school.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
He was struggling with the traditional techniques,
so he completely reframed thechallenge and came up with a
totally new approach.
Speaker 1 (04:07):
And it changed the sport forever.
Speaker 2 (04:09):
Exactly Now.
Think about a time when youfaced a challenge and had to
reframe your thinking.
Speaker 1 (04:15):
That's a good one.
Speaker 2 (04:16):
How did that shift in perspective change the outcome?
Speaker 1 (04:19):
It's amazing how powerful a little mindset shift
can be.
Speaker 2 (04:23):
Absolutely Now.
Flowers doesn't just stop atmindset, he's also a big
advocate for self-assessment.
Speaker 1 (04:30):
What does he recommend for that?
Speaker 2 (04:31):
Well, he's a big fan of the SWOT analysis.
Speaker 1 (04:33):
Oh yeah, where you identify your strengths,
weaknesses, opportunities andthreats.
Speaker 2 (04:37):
Exactly, it's a classic business tool, but it
can be incredibly helpful forpersonal growth too.
Speaker 1 (04:42):
It's all about knowing yourself better so you
can play to your strengths andaddress those areas where you
might need to improve.
Speaker 2 (04:48):
Right and once you have that self awareness,
Flowers emphasizes theimportance of emotional
resilience.
Speaker 1 (04:54):
So understanding those emotional triggers that
can set us off.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
Right and having techniques to manage those
emotions effectively.
Speaker 1 (05:00):
He talks about problem solving over ruminating
right.
Speaker 2 (05:03):
Yeah, rumination just keeps you stuck in that cycle
of negativity.
He also gets into the dualprocess theory of emotion
regulation.
Speaker 1 (05:11):
That sounds complicated.
Speaker 2 (05:12):
It basically says we have automatic and controlled
words of managing our emotions.
Speaker 1 (05:17):
OK, so it's like a two pronged approach.
Speaker 2 (05:19):
And he even connects this to business leadership.
Speaker 1 (05:22):
Oh interesting.
Tell me more about that.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Well, he argues that leaders who can manage their own
frustration, for example, makebetter decisions in tough
situations.
Speaker 1 (05:31):
So like if a CEO is freaking out about a declining
market.
Speaker 2 (05:35):
It's going to impact the entire company, but if they
can stay calm and collected,they inspire confidence and can
lead their team more effectively.
Speaker 1 (05:42):
It's about being the steady hand guiding everyone
through the storm.
Speaker 2 (05:45):
Exactly, emotional intelligence is a valuable skill
.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
And something we can all work on.
Okay, so we've talked aboutmindset, self-awareness and even
emotional regulation.
What about practical techniquesfor building resilience?
Does Flowers offer any specificadvice?
Speaker 2 (06:00):
Oh, absolutely.
He covers a lot of ground here.
He talks about stressmanagement techniques,
mindfulness practices likemeditation and deep breathing
exercises.
Speaker 1 (06:09):
Oh yeah, those are always helpful.
Speaker 2 (06:11):
But he also talks about the importance of the
basics like getting enough sleep, eating, a healthy diet and
regular physical activity.
Speaker 1 (06:19):
So it's not just about mental toughness, it's
about taking care of yourphysical health too.
Speaker 2 (06:22):
Exactly it's a holistic approach and you know
Flowers also emphasizes creatinga supportive environment.
Oh yeah, both at work and inyour health too.
Exactly, it's a holisticapproach and you know, flowers
also emphasizes creating asupportive environment.
Speaker 1 (06:29):
Oh yeah, both at work and in your personal life.
Speaker 2 (06:31):
Exactly.
Surround yourself with peoplewho encourage you, set
boundaries to protect your timeand energy.
These are all key for buildingresilience.
Speaker 1 (06:40):
It's like creating a safety net for yourself.
Speaker 2 (06:41):
Right and remember what we were talking about
earlier, about the physicalenvironment.
Speaker 1 (06:46):
Oh yeah, a cluttered office can actually lead to a
more negative mindset.
Speaker 2 (06:50):
It's fascinating how our surroundings can affect us
like that.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
So true, so what else does Flower suggest?
Speaker 2 (06:56):
Well, he also suggests using positive
affirmations.
You know, those littlereminders we can repeat to
ourselves.
Speaker 1 (07:01):
Like I'm capable of handling this.
Speaker 2 (07:04):
Right or.
Speaker 1 (07:04):
I will find a way forward.
Speaker 2 (07:06):
Exactly, it's about actively shaping our inner
dialogue.
Speaker 1 (07:10):
It's like giving yourself a pep talk.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
And one of the most intriguing things in the book is
this idea of a long-termresilience roadmap.
Speaker 1 (07:17):
Especially for organizations.
Speaker 2 (07:19):
Yeah, he talks about building resilience into the DNA
of a company.
Speaker 1 (07:23):
So it's not just about individual resilience, but
about creating a culture ofresilience.
Speaker 2 (07:27):
Right.
He talks about having a strongvision statement, setting
measurable milestones forbuilding resilience, allocating
resources effectively andinvesting in the right
infrastructure.
Speaker 1 (07:37):
It's like creating a blueprint for the future.
Speaker 2 (07:39):
So think about your own journey.
What would your personalresilience roadmap look like?
Speaker 1 (07:48):
What steps?
Speaker 2 (07:48):
can we take now to be prepared for the challenges
ahead?
And finally, Flowers reminds usof the importance of innovation
and adaptability.
Speaker 1 (07:53):
Especially in today's world, where things are
constantly changing.
Speaker 2 (07:56):
Exactly.
He encourages us to find abalance between honoring
tradition and embracing newideas and technologies.
Speaker 1 (08:03):
It's about being open to new possibilities and
constantly learning and adapting.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
Well said.
Speaker 1 (08:08):
This has been a fantastic deep dive into from
setback to comeback.
Speaker 2 (08:12):
It really has.
Robert Flowers has given us somuch to think about.
Speaker 1 (08:15):
To wrap things up, I want to leave you with a final
thought-provoking question fromthe book what's one small step
you can take today to build yourpersonal or professional
resilience?
Speaker 2 (08:26):
It's a great question to ponder.
Speaker 1 (08:28):
It reminds us that resilience is an ongoing journey
.
We're always learning andgrowing, Absolutely Until our
next deep dive, keep exploring,keep experimenting and keep
building that resilience muscle.
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